Am I in the wrong?

All I wanted for Christmas this year was a cricut maker machine. I told my husband in October even sent him the Amazon link to it. As I’m putting all the presents under the tree I notice he only got me 2 small box gifts. One I know is a blender the other was too small to be a cricut. So I peeked I know I shouldn’t have but I would’ve been up all night thinking about it. It’s a TOASTER. So I’m really upset right now. I bought him exactly what he wanted and then some for Christmas and for his birthday last month I bought him an expensive meat smoker. All I can think about is how I should’ve gotten him something cheaper and gotten myself a cricut when I wanted one. Being a stay at home mom I have no income and can’t afford to get myself one now after buying the kids gifts. That’s what makes me even more mad because I feel like he only got me things for the house cuz that’s all I am a nanny/ housemaker. Am I being selfish for being upset? He doesn’t know that I peeked or that I’m upset. I know I should be happy he got me something but I NEVER get anything. Haven’t gone out anywhere haven’t even had a haircut in a year I just wanted this one thing.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I in the wrong?

You’re upset he didn’t buy you a $300+ machine. People don’t have to buy you what you want, or even buy you anything for that matter. It’s Christmas. People give you what they want to give you.

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Check out silhouette machines they’re less expensive and imo better than cricut, I have both. Save up for it or just buy it like I did :smiling_face:

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I’d be just as upset. The fact that he bought you household gadgets and not what you requested is hurtful. I know a lot of people feel that gifts are tied to how much someone cares and loves for you. They put in time and effort to get you things that you like, and when that doesn’t happen it hurts. I would sit him down and address it with him. Ask him why he gifted you kitchen items when you don’t get what you want/interests you. See what he says and go from there.

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my god just buy the dam thing yourself

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Uhm…idk if he thought it was too expensive. However he should not be buying you kitchen appliances for gifts. Those are things bought as needed for the home. That is upsetting and I agree you have every right to be upset over what he did get.

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He doesnt know how much it meant to you hun remember that. He was getting things for the house to make ur job a bit easier even if it wasnt that

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Return what he got you and go get what you want. Hell return what ya got him if you still need money for your cricut

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It’s the thought that counts, maybe next year sit and talk with him about how much you guys want to spend on each other , a limit, and if you have something you want ask him directly to get it for you for a gift. And if I were you I would save up for it and get it yourself :slight_smile: im a stay at home mom too and I know it’s rough :confused:

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Slash his tires. :joy::joy::joy:
Jk. You deserve to be treated like a Queen. :sparkling_heart:

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I can totes relate to the member. It feels shitty. And, it’s not even really about the gift, it’s about the lack of thought and care.

I mean a little extreme, but I would be pretty upset if my husband bought me a kitchen appliance for Xmas…

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Why don’t you tell him you’re upset? I am not a selfish or materialistic person, but when I was a stay at home Mom, I would have been insulted that the one time I get a gift it’s a blender and toaster for the house. That’s not really for you at all. It’s not even so much what you did or didn’t get but the fact that there was no personalization or thought put into it. I get that. Some people are just not good at that so you need to tell him how you feel, nicely. Then let him know this is something that means a lot to you and could you fit it in the budget to get one.

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I didnt get anything :unamused: . Be grateful.

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My ex bought me a toaster for Christmas one year so the next year I bought him a vacuum :joy:
Might have been a good way to predict our future :joy::joy:

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I’d be upset with a toaster. That’s not a gift for you thats for everyone to use. Zero thought has gone into that. I’d be mad and I’d say something.

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Stop expectations. You won’t get hurt if you do. It’s the thought that counts. Now if he just disregarded you and didn’t get you anything, then I could see you making a post mike this. Just be grateful you received anything. There’s so many ppl in this country doing without.

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No haircut in a year? Are you ok with this? No, u are not! You deserve too, you need more too. Remember, not everything is not just up to him, (just bc hes the provider) you need to firmly look after yourself , make him understand your needs. You need to care for yourself, to be a better mom, a better wife, a better person, happier etc (im pretty sure you are already, BUT MORE) . Sometimes we get lost taking care of others but us. Good luck!

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I don’t think a kitchen appliance is a gift unless it was specifically asked for. I’d rather have a personal gift like a scarf, gloves, book etc… save up buy it yourself and get him a new kettle or a plate set next Christmas/birthday see how happy he is.

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1st…I wouldn’t mind kitchen appliances if they were needed. Mind you, the kitchen IS mine!! And let’s keep it that way.
2nd…BE THANKFUL and not for materialistic objects.

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Um I’d be super mad if I got kitchen appliances as Christmas gifts, but definitely save up and get yourself one in the new year

I didn’t get anything but be grateful or tell him what he should of bought you … It better to tell him instead of holding it in

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How are you people not okay with house appliances? I get excited over new spoons :joy:. Christmas is more for the children, I can see a child getting mad over not getting what they wanted but an adult? Be thankful he even got you anything.

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Unless asked for specifically house hold appliances are not gifts but every day needs… So I’d be upset and I’d tell him after Christmas day as nicely as possible why you’re upset.
You definitely need better communication and boundaries. You need to let him know you need time for yourself. You should be able to take one day a month for yourself or even every other month, shit once a week if that’s what you need. But he needs to be told this. Also

If he makes the money and you have no income and stay at home then why did you not buy yourself one . You bought him expensive gifts which means he has access to know you bought him what he wanted . You already knew you were a cook cleaner and a nanny to him and now your mad at yourself because of a gift ? No your mad that you already knew that and not getting a gift that you asked for from him would mean you might get a sliver of attention that you crave from him that you never get . Your rage is from the unhappiness you already live in. So either fix it or live with it. Your choices. His behavior has always been that way you just thought you could change him.

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Id be upset tbh. I know christmas is about giving not receiving but lets face it he put no thought or love into those gifts. If id hinted toy partner about something then got something different from him but was still personal and something id like then id be grateful but kitcen appliances that everyone uses and has no personal use meaning to you is not a thoughtful gift. Id tell him how you feel once you’ve opened them. I feel he has no respect for your feelings

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My hubby n I have this agreement if it’s 4 the house it’s exactly the one I want in ur case a cricket wud b 4 the house tell him it will help with income so he doesn’t have to pay 4 everything

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I lost my husband October 22…I would give anything to have him here to buy me a blender and a toaster. :broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart:

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Haha I got nothing… we just get stuff during the year.

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Take the 2 items back and use that $ towards the Cricut.

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I stopped being upset along time ago.I have learned to just buy my own gifts because no one listens when you tell them what you want. Hell I was upset this Christmas also because I don’t wrap my gifts because I bought them so it’s no surprise but when I gave my husband his when all the family was here opening gifts he took his to another room and never opened it.So that hurt so I just took it and put it away he’s ungrateful and I will no longer do Christmas or any holiday for him and I also have a daughter in law that’s ungrateful as hell so I’m done with them. So girl take his gifts and the ones he got you back and get what you wanted.And my husband also throw a hell of a fit Christmas night because we have .4 grown boys that never even gets us a card but to me I don’t need anything as long as all my family was together. But he refused my gift but then throw a fit because he didn’t get anything and just don’t understand the childish s**t

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I dont think the gift is the issue here. I think it’s everything else. Men are absolutely daft, sorry, but they are. I’ve told my partner word for word what I want and most of the time it’s like I’m speaking another language. However, not being able to take care of your basic needs is not on. I think you need to think about what you’re really mad over and talk to him

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I wouldn’t be super mad that he didn’t get me a cricut, because brand new they’re expensive and I luckily was able to get one off fb market for $100, but what i’d be upset about is that he got a blender and toaster. To me, those aren’t christmas present items. I always get things the individual would use for themselves, something personal, ya know? Like a nice sweatshirt, makeup, shoes, etc, or something they’ve asked for. I feel like a kitchen appliance isn’t something that is given as a christmas present.

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A fucking toaster & a blender? Ya I’d be pissed

I completely understand. But next year get him socks and underwater.

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Save up and get yourself one girl. I’d be super upset. Kitchen appliances are not presents. Not to me at least. My husband would say he got something for me and come home with something for cooking and cleaning. I told him to stop. That it wasn’t stuff for me but rather for our house. One time he came home with an imitation robot vacuum thing and said it was so I’d stop asking him to sweep sometimes. He’s an asshole. So I use his account to get home stuff and put the little money I have after paying rent aside and buy myself what I want when I have enough

Sorry but grow up… :joy::joy:

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Get your hair done and buy yourself things you want! Men have no idea what women want or need… As much as they try, love and help.
Go buy and spend on yourself gf!

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That is exactly what happens when you depend on others , I got myself everything I wanted for Christmas:) It’s not a secret that the majority of men do not put too much effort into presents, some of them do not even buy their wife a blender
I think her disappointment is not actually about the gift , she is miserable and unhappy in her marriage, she is feeling unloved, un appreciated and probably even useless as a woman . I think is time for her to have a conversation with her husband , and to get a part time job so she can help in the house financially and also to pamper herself.

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Bring those gifts back and get you a circuit! Be happy he got you something! I don’t get anything from my husband!

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Maybe you should bring this up to your husband. Communicate. Instead of bringing this to others online who are only going to fuel your frustration and cause even more resentment toward your husband, you should bring it up to him and relay how you feel. If he doesn’t know he did anything “wrong”, you’re not going to get any kind of resolution. He will think you’re just content with what he got you, and this “behavior” will continue.

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First & foremost. If I get an appliance or something “chore” wise for Christmas. I’m throwing it at your face. That’s not a damn gift. That’s a household item. Something you go and buy on a Sunday type bs. He’s your husband and the father of your kids. He should have gotten the cricut and something else you love or romantic. That was selfish af. I don’t even care. I’d return all that bs.

Just go buy the damn thing. Life goes on. And whatever you take the money from. Can be replaced. Life’s to short

The meaning of “gifting” also changed? I am soooooo old school!

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My ex husband of 7 years has never bought me as much as a miserable xmas card
Not even from kids.
I would normally buy myself wrap it and tag it from the kids.
I’d just appreciate wat he got u as there people in the world that gets absolutely nothing from their spouse

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Is it something that the budget would allow to buy? If it’s a single income home and you’re buying expensive gifts, you might be cutting down the budget for him to get you a gift that you want.

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I don’t think you’re wrong, and it’s an issue with many wives. I would say next time buy yourself a gift first, and buy his with what’s left over. Wrap up your gift, give it to him and say this is what you and the kids got me for Christmas. If he gives you a hard time, give him a breakdown of costs for paying childcare, and consider going back to work. Even if temporarily. Maybe it will get your point across. If not, at least you have some money. And don’t fall into trap that your salary covers childcare. It has to be split 50/50. Guys can be a little obtuse in their thinking, and a little selfish with money. I think most are hardwired that way, just like we are hardwired to be a little controlling sometimes. And the best way to get your point across is to stop being accommodating and let him know you value your needs as much as his and the kids. As a side perspective, if you don’t teach your kids at a young age that you matter too, they won’t practice it when they get older.

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Ask for receipts for the two gifts he bought so you can return them and put money toward what you want.

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Christmas isn’t about what you WANT, but rather what you did RECEIVE. And you literally said you “have no income because you’re a stay at home mom”. So if you have no income, then you technically didn’t buy your kids gifts…your husband did. And rather than take it out on the internet to fuel your frustrations, go talk to him…have you considered a part time job to help pay for things you want?

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House objects are not gifts for a woman. How would he feel if you got him a vaccum cleaner? Not fair at all. I’d take them back and put that towards what I wanted.

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I’m a SAHM, if there’s something you badly want, don’t wait on anyone to get it for you(especially not hubby) if you have a allowance(which is most likely where you got the families gifts from) BE STINGY! with everyone. I have stopped spending my allowance on kids for a while hunny and I’m doing great! Don’t even feel selfish anymore :sweat_smile::rofl: Focus on you, I’m sure your kids have everything they need. I mean when I looked at my kids closet last year and compared to my old breastfeeding bra’s I decided to just stop right there. Save up and spoil yourself without blinking an eye

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Oh and a toaster and a blender isn’t a gift for you. The whole family will be using it. Unless you are celiac then I would totally understand the toaster omg

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Just because it didn’t happen right now, doesn’t mean you won’t get it. If you don’t speak up, means you may not though. Seems to me there’s bigger issues if you couldn’t ask him why you didn’t get the one thing you asked for…

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I went and got what I needed. I got tired of receiving last minute, thoughtless, useless gifts that had very little thought put into them. Now I have complete control of my own finances. I buy what I like within my budget. Its great.

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I didn’t get anything from my boyfriend. We both agreed mutually that all money for gifts were to be spent on the kids and family excluding ourselves because we have so many bills and bills aren’t cheap. Maybe your husband was dealing with the same situation? Not sure how much a cricut is but what if he wanted to get that for you but yet couldn’t afford it and feels crappy about it? I know I felt crappy about not being able to spoil my family a little more especially when they deserve the world. :confused:

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I always buy what I need for myself if there’s enough money to do so. This year we agreed not to buy each other anything because of bills and Christmas bills. Buy it for yourself. Men don’t always get the hint. Ye can gift each other anytime of the year. Maybe he didn’t have money for what you wanted. Go get it yourself

Buy your own. Never rely on others they will always let you down

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Be glad he got you something although household items is a bad choice. Maybe you should tell him you are disappointed because those are things you buy as needed for the house and not a personal gift that is meant just for you. If you want it that bad go get a part time job that you can work when he is not working to save on daycare or if the kids are school age while they are in school. Tell him you will save up for that expenseive cricut use some for salon appointments and things you want and need but you should also contribute to the house out of any income you earn.

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Maybe he knows you will sneak a look and it’s a dummy present lol

Christmas isn’t about gifts or what you wanted, ffs grow up …

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One year I got cookie sheets. That was it. I got him what he wanted, after that I bought my own.

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Go get your hair done love, don’t wait for your husband to remember because they don’t. You have to take care of you in order to be happy, and then your whole family will be happy if you are. Don’t wait for someone else to fulfill your needs only you can do that.

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You have to look out for you. Men sometimes just DO NOT get it!

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My husband bought me a pressure cooker one year for my birthday and then took me to the shops to buy ingredients for chicken soup… that I had to make. I’m still mad about it.

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So I’m confused. He bought his own expensive meat smoker is what I got from this.

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Sometimes males can be clueless….

Ask for the receipts and return it. Put it towards what you really want.

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I get it but as someone who has a cricut they’re very expensive

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Take back what he bought you and buy your Cricut

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Yeah I’d be super disappointed too. I’d take it back and put it towards the cricut. He probably won’t notice the exchange either

Is there a gift receipt? So you can return it. Men are famous for buying the wrong things. Even when you give them a list. Lol. It’s super annoying but it seems like he tried… ?

Lol I’m so used to it.

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I received nothing of material for Christmas! Nothing material.
This post really makes me angry.
So, I am disabled from DV.
Although I got to spend time with my Adult Children and my Grandchildren!
:pray:t3:I never felt so blessed!:pray:t3:
To be upset over a material rather than these precious moments that will soon pass, you are complaining about what you did not get?
I truly am astonished!
You will never know the true meaning of Christmas.

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Cut down ur monthly spend and save for it like an adult

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I would say go order you one on Amazon!

Maybe they are spoof gifts as he knew you’d peek
I need to know how this ended

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Yes, I could never marry a man, so many women don’t realize they are expected to play a role to keep him happy, I see it everyday and it doesn’t end, even in old age women are still caring for the man

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I can understand your frustrations at not being heard.

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I’d wait & see what happens before getting too upset but if you didn’t get the cricut, thank him for the gifts you did receive and then return them & go buy what you want anyway. If you can’t afford it now, maybe you will in a month or two when income tax refunds roll in.

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If its something you will use as much as he will use the smoker just buy it

Can’t anybody just be thankful for what they get in life instead of nagging and complaining about stuff they didn’t get it’s only material things you can’t take it with you when you go anyhow just be thankful

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Christmas isn’t about presents. I understand being upset, but look at the bigger picture. Plus, looking back a year or two from now, do you really want to remember the Christmas of 2021 being the year you were upset about a toaster and blender?
I hope your day turned around, and hope you have a great new year❤

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Cripes there’s people out there that get nothing so maybe you should be grateful for what you have and maybe tell your husband rather than putting it on here.

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I think it’s more of the fact that she was not heard. I know this pain all to well. It’s frustrating talking and no one hearing you

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Yeah I got nothing even after sending my husband what I wanted , and mine wasnt anything expensive . Just clothes and shoes , walmart shoes at that lol . So atleast you got atleast something . :woman_shrugging:t3: I woulda loved a blender and toaster . I live in my kitchen . :rofl:

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i would b upset 2 i would take back what i got him and get what i want

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Those are super expensive… like stop being greedy and peeking. This baffles me Xmas is for children your an adult. You can get what you want pretty much yearly. We do Xmas for kids birthdays for us. I mean this is so selfish in my eyes. Why is called asking… For a gift.

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My husband lost his battle to depression on Christmas… you should be grateful you still have your husband… the material things are “just stuff!”

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Take his stuff back to the shop for a refund and buy yourself a cricut??

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First world problems :joy:

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My mother in law keeps the gifts in the box, re wraps them and gives them back for her husband’s birthday and Christmas presents when he buys things like that for the house.

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Jesus everyone is being so dam harsh. Yes she has a right to be upset! As she hasn’t been heard. How would you feel when what you’ve said has gone by unheard. I under this. I never got Xmas growing up and I’m sorry xmas isn’t just about kids. It’s about family, gifts, food and togetherness. She wanted 1 thing and he brought her stuff she would go buy herself if they broke. I understand you mumma. Ask him why if you need to. I literally leave a list out for my man and he still says he doesn’t know what to get me so my 12 yo daughter does it instead. :two_hearts:

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Least you got something

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Buy yourself one on afterpay

Take back the gifts he got you.

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You have a right to be upset. But At least u had gift from your husband under the tree… And it ISNT about gifts its about being together. I never get anything whether its bday christmas mothers day you name it.

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Idk I’m not sure I’m the one to ask because I don’t accept BS in my life anymore but I personally hate the times in my life when a significant other gave me any household appliance type gifts I hadn’t specifically asked for. It’s a very big turn off for me. So much so that I’d rather get a pack of basic T-shirts or a couple balls of yarn. A toaster & a blender is a bit depressing. I hope he’s hiding it in the closet because he knows you will peek.

A blender and a toaster?!?! Unless I specifically asked for a certain appliance for Christmas…I would be really hurt. It’s like the one time my husband got me a Martha Stewart plaid (not cute) fuzzy bathrobe that didn’t fit for Christmas and I got him almost front row Jim Gaffigan tickets…I get how you feel. I felt like he didn’t care enough to put any thought into my gift like I did his. I was really hurt. I voiced how I felt in a really gentle way without bitching and since then he has been amazing about gifts. Maybe just try telling him how the gifts made you feel after the holidays are over in a non-bitchy way.

Yes be upset@ that’s wrong! You definitely should of gotten a circuit. All the nanny shit is hard and they take us for granted…my husband talked soo much crap when I was the homemaker until he lost his job and he was the homemaker! Oh how the tables turned…basically now he gets me whatever and thanks me daily for everything since I’m the breadwinner now. Only difference is that I help him and that truly makes everything better…

Jesus to be able to sit there and whine about what your husband doesn’t give you for Christmas must be nice… seriously you sound like and entitled child grow up!

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Unpopular opinion here … Christmas is NOT just about the kids! Christmas is about family (even the adults), traditions, the spirit of giving, and pure joy. Why is it ok that Mom always get the shit end of the stick at Christmastime?? Why is she considered so “selfish” for wanting what she made sure everyone else had, exactly what they asked for? Wives/Mom’s deserve to have the same joy on Christmas morning that they ensure their family feels!
Some families absolutely have it worse, to the point they can only afford kids gifts, if that. Or they lose a family member near the holidays. There is no joy in that, and its heartbreaking for those families.
But that doesn’t seem to be the case here. They seem to have the means for her husband to provide what his wife asked for, and therefore should have received!