Our rule is anything for the household like an appliance, is not a Christmas or birthday gift!
A toaster is not a gift for you it’s for the house!
I’d be upset! It’s not about the gifts but really a toaster??? Not even a gift card to get your hair done or something for yourself?
I wanted one as well. We are getting married in less than 6 months and I could use it for my wedding. I didn’t get one. I’m not mad. I’m not upset. When the tax money hits in so many months, go buy yourself one! If he says something, say if it wasn’t for your body carrying his children, he wouldn’t have that kind of tax money🤷♀️ (jk) but go do something for yourself. I’m a sahm to 4 kids and never get a break or buy myself anything either. But my fiance got me stuff that I wanted/needed and some stuff for the kitchen as well, since I’m always in the kitchen cooking. And I was ok with that.
I’d be pissed. Getting ur wife a toaster for Xmas is not right. I’d sell the crap he got me and buy what u wanted
Return the blender and the toaster and get the item you want
Men don’t think like woman do. But I have to say,buy yourself what you want next time. Fuck all these dudes. Anything he can do for you, you can do for yourself. So do it, yourself. Get a job and make ya own money and put them kids in childcare. It’s 2021 idk why people still feel that being a stay at home parent is what’s best. What it is is allowing one person to build a career and the other to sit and rot for 18 years with no way to support themselves if something happened to their husband. I would be pissed too, but I’ve grown to realize men are just that fucking stupid girl. They don’t think how we do. And the sooner you do shit yourself and show him how much you can do, the sooner he’s gonna realize he’s a sexist asshole who bought you kitchen appliances for xmas instead of a personalized, thought out gift, or fuck even what ya asked for. So feel butt hurt for a bit, cause you have a right to your feelings, and then make some momma moves and get yourself one. And yes you can do it! I do it all by myself and have for years. I have 4 kids 5 and under. (: all of you are as strong as me if not stronger.
I don’t think you’re being selfish but I also don’t think you should expect exactly what you have your hopes set on. However, those gifts that he got you still sucked. They’re the types of gifts that say “here’s your kitchen supplies, get cookin’”. Even if he didn’t mean it that way, that’s still the message. I think if it were something else nicer, that he put more thought into (something else that was a “want” and not a household need)- you probably wouldn’t be so upset. Overall, I’d be upset to have gotten ~those~ gifts, but not that I didn’t get what I specifically wanted. Ya know.
I also wouldn’t have peeked into the gifts. I mean, that’s not gonna help anything.
Also, I totally can relate to the SAHM difficulties, so I get it.
People who are saying “be grateful you got anything” or “it’s not about gifts” don’t get it.
When you’re a mom expected to carry the load of EVERYTHING in the house with very little recognition or reward, can hardly maintenance yourself, or do anything for fun— receiving a gift to help you fulfill more of your “duties” can kinda be insulting even if they didn’t mean it that way. Because there’s so many other things that we don’t get to do for ourselves.
However, I’m not saying kitchen stuff or household stuff can’t be gifts. But if a woman doesn’t say she WANTS that stuff, I don’t think that’s what she should get for a special occasion.
It’s ok. Just next time, don’t go out of your way to get him exactly what he wants if he doesn’t at least try to do the same.
A toaster is like $20. That’s crap, he could have just gone out and bought one if y’all needed it. Instead he gave it to you as a gift. I feel for you and as much as people think childish, it’s important to you, so it’s okay to be upset, I would be too. Now, I’d take money from savings etc to go get the circuit at this point
You have to start working on you. Everyone needs to get their own time, New Year New You… Love yourself first, make yourself the priority….
I hear divorce papers wrapped in ribbon are quite the unexpected gift for hubby!
- I’m 99% sure he’s not a mond reader so try actually talking to him
- you don’t give presents to receive them that’s not how giving works
- how do you view yourself? Don’t like it make a change do wait for it to magically happen
- happiness comes from within
- talk to your husband if you can’t talk to eachother what kind of partnership do you have?
This is childish, in my opinion…first of all, you buy a person a gift because you want too. The act of giving. Not because you “have” to. Second, wishing you had never bought him anything is petty. Sounds like you only bought him something because you were expecting something in return… umm no. Don’t be that person. Always be grateful. My husband and I have been married for 11 1/2 years, we buy gifts if we can, for each other…but we don’t go broke doing so.
Y’all gotta stop the feeling of your entitled. If your husband has gotten you something, whether it’s what you want or not, be thankful. They didn’t have to get you anything. Christmas is for the children. Maybe he could not afford the gift you wanted or maybe it is out of stock. Y’all should be happy that he thought enough of you to even get you something. I’m so frustrated with today’s generation thinking they deserve to have something and when they don’t get it they throw a fit about it or get mad. We need to learn what’s important. Things are not important. People are important. As long as you have a roof over your head, warm clothes, food in your tummy, we should all be thankful. The rest, is just stuff. And doesn’t mean anything. You can’t take it with you. Hold your loved ones close and tell them you love them.
If you’re invalidating this woman’s feelings because you’re salty your husband does nothing you’re behavior is toxic AF & you have no business offering advice.
I don’t think that has anything to do with material gifts at all. You sound exhausted. It sounds like you feel lost, outside of your role as a mom and a wife. It also sounds like you don’t feel supported by your husband as an individual (again outside of being a mom/wife). Your feelings are very valid. And if you don’t feel heard, maybe ask him if he’d be open to counseling for the root issue. But I don’t think it’d be rude at all to explain how you feel and exchange these gifts for money towards what you wanted. I’m sorry. I hope things get better.
Well you know and gifts aren’t opened so that gift that’s exactly what he wanted….take it and get a return. Stop doing everything he wants when he doesn’t care what you want. If you feel like nothing more than a nanny or house maker to him that’s a problem. It’s not about being selfish or upset or expecting anything, but stop putting 300% out there when he isn’t putting the effort on his end.
I didn’t get anything for Christmas from my husband so maybe just be grateful he got you anything.
Just go buy it. That simple
I have been with my husband for almost 12 years. He is a terrible gift giver. I was also a stay at home mom, felt underappreciated and invisible. That’s what the real issue, not so much the gift. Your feelings ARE valid! Men just aren’t good at certain things. Talk to him, let him know how you feel.
Do something for you, get a job if that makes you feel better, join a gym to get you time, just do something for yourself, whatever that might be.
I went back to school, now have 2 business degrees. We are self employed and I work from home which makes me feel better.
He didn’t buy you any gifts. He bought household appliances for the family to use or for you to use for the family’s benefit. Let’s hope he had the circuit hidden somewhere & brought it out last minute. If not return his gifts & get your circuit.
I’d show him what I thought of the toaster with a hammer then calmly collect the broken bits whilst humming and then say thanks darling I really needed that!!!
I’d be so pissed!! Take his money and get yourself a cricut
Return these items and use the money to buy what u really wanted
Might be awkward but at least u get what u wanted and not be dreading it also I would be mad too with the household appliances like he doesn’t know me
Unless I really wanted the blender for juicing or something then that different
So…. Any other mamas like me and do ALL the shopping and wrapping?
This means, if I wanted a cricut, it would be wrapped and under my tree.
Perhaps he couldn’t afford it… it’s the thought that counts. That’s not what christmas is about. Just be great full you still have your loved ones alive and well!!
I’d be beyond pissed!!! Return what he got you and you can find crazy deals on circuits… I follow a ton of savings groups and they are always posting about the hottest deals on those. You can also make decent $$$ with projects on the circuit too. I make tons of shirts and custom gifts with mine. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I got a vacuum one year and was so hurt bc it’s not like it’s really a gift for me it’s a gift for the house.
If you feel slighted on the gifts buy your own gifts next year. Some guys are just not good gift givers. They don’t see things like women do. I’m hoping for a follow up saying he hid the Cricut gift in the closet since you are obviously a “peeker”.
This is childish. Speak to him.
Heck ya girl.
Open that toaster up, bring it with u to the bedroom , say u got him one more gift, throw it in a bag and give it back to him. Than resend him the link and say “I said Cricut, not toaster”
I don’t care if xmas isn’t about gifts,u work JUST AS HARD at home if not more and deserved to be spoiled.
You’re married so his check is your money too! Take that blender and toaster back and use his card for the rest.
Oh honey bless your heart.
If he wanted to, he would. So id say match his energy. Buy him some tools. Hammer, screwdrivers etc. Match the price of the toaster. If he talks to you about it, great! A conversation can be held. Still, get a job or find a way to make money just in case you want to leave, you have the financial means to do so.
My advice to you, would be - talk to your husband, tell him how you feel, in your post above, it sounds like you feel unappreciated, tell him that, tell him it’s not about the “cricut” but it’s about what you want, and your needs, but maybe that’s all he could afford? Or maybe you guys really needed a new one, none of us know what goes on in your home, or if you really need those things, but marriage is hard, you have to talk to him about it… And yes your feelings are valid, don’t let anyone tell you anything different, it doesn’t matter if you’re a stay a home mom, or if you are the bread winner, YOU STILL MATTER… voice your opinion!
Let’s hope that most of you “mothers” are raising your children to be better, more supportive, less vindictive than you are. Let’s hope none of you bother to EVER reach out for support from the group….
I know you’re a stay home mom, so why can’t you just grab the money from the account and buy it yourself? You really deserve it. Now, you also need to start working on you. Go get that hair cut done, and pay attention to you, not because you don’t bring money to the house means you can’t spend money your husband gets paid, I mean you do A LOT. I would just open the presents, enjoy the moment, and kindly let him know you will return them and will get whatever you wished for (the kids should not know this because then that will give a bad example to them and probably later on they would feel is okay to do this with their Christmas presents). Christmas is about magical moments but it’s our job to make those moments happen.
Number 1. She peeked. That’s juvenile and wrong.
Number 2. Is there an update to say what happened Christmas morning? For all we know the small appliances were him being funny and after she opened them he brought in the big box with the real gift? And that’s what we get for peeking !
Number 3. Has she been complaining about the toaster not working? Maybe he thought he was doing something to help her.
Since you haven’t exchanged yet, take his gifts back to the store and use that to buy your cricut! When he gets nothing, just tell him the toaster and blender can be both your gifts! Maybe he will get it when he doesn’t get anything!
My husband didn’t even try to get me anything this year. Something new showed up in the store we own, and on Xmas eve I told him just to buy me that, and claim it was my gift. Lol TBF, I got him a HotDog toaster that he liked from a few years back…lol
Who the hell buys appliances as Christmas gifts?! Holy crap! Like I get if you actually asked for them but WTF! I agree with the comments who said return them and buy a cricket. Smfh.
Most men and gifts are a losing game. My very favorite Christmas gift from my husband was a pair of high-quality leather boots that I picked out, ordered and put on his credit card because he was honest enough to say “I don’t know what you want .”
As for peeking, maybe for the best, you have time to get over your disappointment and not ruin the day for everyone.
If you are a SAHM and are watching your kids, why do you not have access to y’all’s bank account? You literally have no income, so does he give you an allowance or something? I would personally never stay at home if I had no access to our finances, regardless of how much money it saved us. That’s honestly the more worrying thing here
He should have bought you one! Men are clueless. I didn’t get anything.
I feel like your being a little dramatic. I got my husband 7 gift. He got me nothing. I didn’t have a gift to open at all from my husband or kids. Period. I would’ve been fine with a handwritten letter from him. Or a cheap $5 mug. But I got nothing. Ya your husband got your something you didn’t ask for. But At least he cared enough to get you something. Also to add my husband hasn’t gotten me a gift in 2 years. He told me since I wasn’t his mother he didn’t have to get me a Mother’s Day gift. Keep in mind he knew I had bought him this huge 3 In 1 grill for Father’s Day that was charcoal, gas and a smoker. He saw where I hid it and knew what it was before Mother’s Day.
Regardless of the cricut he gave you some shitty gifts, if you told him in October and he has the money for it, I don’t see why he couldn’t have gotten it.
get over it. i been q sahm and married/together for 7 years and i have gotten probably 2 things in the last 7 Christmas’s we been together, i get him somethingalmost every year/Christmasif i can swing it…and thebonly reason i fot something the yrs. i did is because. i asked and got it myself lol if u really dont like them take them back and get w.e u want. stop being ungrateful and tell him.
So…do you have a toaster? If you didnt then he got something you needed. I personally dont see a problem. You want a circuit. Go get it. Mg husband bought me a crockpot because we needed it. But what I wanted was a blanket with a tiger on it. So I bought it myself.
Girl…take them both back and put it towards your maker. Men are sometimes just clueless idiots
Communication has worked wonders with issues like this for me and my hubby.
He’s a horrible gift giver, I am a sahm. So I do the shopping with his money.
Big house purchases we NEED or appliances is not a Christmas gift, mind you if it’s what u can afford this year a conversation should have been had.
Otherwise, get urself a hair cut and a cri cut girl you deserve it!!!
Whenever you go to the store and buy anything take an extra $20-$40 out and put away to save up for that circuit you want
Men suck at gifts they never really listen that’s just their nature. Your NOT wrong for peeking your the women of the house!
Save up that money and go buy it yourself girl
At least you got something, I didn’t even get lumps of coal
It seems it’s time to get a part-time job so when he gets home he can watch the kids while you work couple hours
At least you got something. Me and my husband don’t get each other gifts for Christmas, we focus on our daughter. How many times did you tell him? I know from person experience that men need reminding at least a few times. Or maybe it’s just my husband. Lol.
I got nothing! And you know what? I loved! I didn’t get my feelings hurt nor did I pout or make a post like this! Be glad in this pandemic that you have your family all together and able to celebrate! I think we’ve definitely lost what is important in America! Over commercialization and such has got too many people away from being humble & kind! If you need a present to know you’re loved or that’s how you show love, then wow! In our family if we want something like that we save and buy it throughout the year. But not on Valentine’s Day or Christmas or any other “declared gift giving day”. Ugh
I know how you feel when you work so hard for everyone else and just want to feel noticed and actually heard!! The women who saying you’re ungrateful can go somewhere they aren’t in your shoes and no one gets to tell you how you feel so screw them! I swear people always have to make someone feel like crap when they are already in a low spot!! Go return the stupid toaster and get what makes you happy!
I’m shocked at so many of these comments. At the core of this its not about the physical gift, its about a lack of communication and respect. She was direct and told him what she wanted, gave him the information. It wasn’t like she wanted him to read her mind. Giving her household appliances-which are NEVER a gift unless specifically asked for, when she was clear about what she wanted shows he either wasn’t listening or heard and chose to ignore. The 2 need to have a clear conversation. The women who are basically saying "such it up, that’s just how men are " need to find some self respect and expect better from their partners!
Y’all telling her to get over it when she’s put her entire life on HOLD TO RAISE THEIR CHILDREN. She deserves the damn Cricut! I’d be upset to.
No you’re not. My husband and I had this discussion before Christmas. I don’t buy him tools for Christmas and he doesn’t buy me house appliances. Christmas is for what YOU want not necessarily need Nd definitely not what the house needs. I am sorry.
Dang I got nothing for Christmas. Be thankful he got you something.
Good grief ,you are a grown woman get what you want , you don’t need his permission.
I know how you feel I get ppl what they want all the time but they never get me what I want
I kind of think this is dramatic… because yes you asked for something for Christmas and from what I saw cricuts are and can be expensive… have you asked him why he didn’t get it?
I know they can run around 300-400 bucks. If it was cheaper that’s awesome but stuff that you want I feel like you should get yourself, I get how upsetting it may be but I think you should get a part time job and be independent when it comes to wanting something that may be out of your budget due to shut down! ( some factories close down for two weeks so less money ).
I have always been independent and don’t expect anything from anyone and I just get stuff that I want that would or could be expensive for someone else to get me! But that’s just me.
Always get yourself what you want and not rely on the hubby or just anyone in general for it!
Depending on a guy to do something correctly can be useless at times. Get a part time job and buy it next year for yourself from the kids or for your bday etc whatever is closer. You will be happier.
Can’t believe all of these women discounting your feelings. Just because they have a shitty significant other doesn’t mean you have to as well. 2 kitchen appliances is a crap gift if you didn’t ask for them. GIFT GIVING IS LITERALLY A LOVE LANGUAGE. talk to your husband, tell him you’re upset (after everyone has opened and settled down, maybe the day after), explain why and tell him you expect better, especially when you spoil him.
Buy it yourself…I don’t depend on anybody …if I need or want anything I get it…at least I know exactly what I want…even when I was married I trusted my own personal taste instead of others …and when someone is actually willing to buy me anything I tell them. So buy it yourself and ask for accessories for it for Valentines day,etc…if not…have fun shopping
Some of y’all are assholes, sheesh!
Household appliances shouldn’t be gifts, they are necessities. Unless its something you don’t use everyday that may be more pricey and you specifically asked for it.
Exchange then for what you want!
I’m kinda a little sad for yall… like… being a stay at home mom isn’t an excuse at all for not receiving gifts. Yes most men are just giant toddlers mentally… but that does not excuse shitty behavior towards the people they are around every day. Don’t sink to their level… make them raise to yours.
Next year do what we do… We gift the kids money and hubby and I buy what we want… Yes I buy what I want and he buys what he wants. The deal is… We set a spending limit. We all win. No fighting over parking and ques at the malls too
You can ban things for the house as presents from now on (unless you really want something) , ask for what you want any other day of the year, Just say “hey, I want to buy ________” and be grateful for whatever he gives you as a present for christmas.
lol hold on, you’re upset you didn’t find your gift when taking a peak at things under the tree before y’all opened gifts? How do you know those are the only things for you? Have some patience, enjoy the holiday with the family and if you still didn’t get what you asked for have a conversation with your husband.
No your not wrong guys don’t get it
I think you are being selfish. He goes to work so you can have a roof over your head as well. Would you rather get a machine or be short on mortgage? Christmas is more for the kids. I rather see my kids smile than me.
I buy my own Xmas gift! Make a rule next time-no appliances for Xmas and give him your wish list….he need more than just a suggestion it seems…
Return the blender and toaster and bank the money. Hubby gets a car wash kit next birthday, save the money you would’ve spent and buy the machine yourself.
I dunno. I think a toaster is probably grounds for divorce. Weaponized incompetence in men is an enormous problem as they collectively neglect and ignore women as people with feelings. Stop buying things or being considerate. Forget his stuff. Buy him cheap crap off the ready made gifts rack. If he’s going to treat you like a machine he has to put the minimum amount of coin (kindness, consideration, etc) to get sex, housework, emotional labor, etc, give him back the bare minimum (or less!) for his lousy investment. We all should be giving as little as possible to men who can’t be bothered to do nice things.
I learned years ago to buy gifts for myself. The hell with everyone else. Make yourself feel good. Also, men are sometimes clueless even with a trail of breadcrumbs. For that matter, sometimes women are too. Don’t waste your time feeling bad.
You deserve what you want mama
Yea… this is why I set the rule early that kitchen appliances or anything else that is for the house/family are not gifts for me. I am a person not a house lol
I get that your disappointed, but a lot of us moms were forgotten all together this Christmas. You at least had something to open, that you peeked at! What if he’s planning on surprising you and bringing it in the morning? I get being upset, and appliances should never be gifts, but at least it’s something.
Appliances are not gifts. They are necessities. Next year he gets only deodorant, toothpaste and underwear.
If you need a new appliance get one it doesn’t belong as a gift. He is gifting you work. It has zero thought. My biggest pet peeve.
Early in my marriage we had similar issues. I’m the planner and made sure everyone was taken care of. I stayed home with our children and he worked. It’s definitely easy to feel overlooked as a stay at home mom. What I realized after talking to him was that me buying everything for him and the kids left us very little money even after he’d work overtime. He would feel pretty bad about not being able to get me big things he knew I’d love but because we weren’t communicating the months prior on our budget and he knew I wanted our 3 children to have all that they wanted he’d just continue working even though it was still just getting us by. I feel bad looking back that it took me so long to talk to him and my initial responses were like yours…hurt, anger, etc. We’re both older now and holidays etc are much better not just because our finances are better but because we learned to pause and talk before assuming what another’s motives or thoughts are. Good luck!
I didn’t get Jack shit and my kids barely had anything , no turkey this year …
Just be grateful
I would be livid!
Don’t let him get away with that!!!
I would take his gifts back that you bought him and buy yourself the cricut
Let me share the Reality of Love
After you’ve spent your years together and the children have grown up and life is going on and there are little squabbles here and there and then you become elderly and you’re still married and you or your husband one of you have to take care of the other with Dementia or whatever trust me when you look back on this and think about that toaster or whatever it will mean nothing .
The Reality of Life is to share Love and don’t get so upset or let anything rob you of Joy
Just think of the Blessings you have Every Day and Smile as much as you can or do for yourself as much as you can because Someday this will all look like nothing and Always Give Extra Hugs That’s So Important
Choose Good Choices
Sorry but at least you got something… there are some moms even dads that don’t get anything… you can drop hints all day long but doesn’t mean much… shoot my SO got me two things and I got him a ton of things… he got me a backpack that I’ll use once the other a hoodie and yes I “wanted” them but not for Christmas… and I got kitchen appliances from my family that I didn’t need Sarah Diveley
A lot of these comments are just horrible. She is looking for support and validation, not judgement or feelings of more guilt. We can do better than this ladies!
It’s not the Christmas gifts guys. She’s saying she feels unheard, undervalued, and unappreciated. He couldn’t even put in the thought and effort to think about who she is as a person and her interests and find a gift that would mean something to her. She’s saying he is lazy. And she feels like a maid. Those are red flags and you can do better.
GO BUY IT FOR YOURSELF! and next year this time buy him a pack on underwater and socks and see how he feels if the inconsiderate butt hole is still there.
He makes it so you are able to stay home and not have to work. That’s an all year around gift in my opinion. I’ve been a SAHM when our kids were babies but we struggled so to work I went to help out. I’d love to be a SAHM again but it’s just not doable.
Neither of those things are gifts for you soooo buy your own cricut
Every right to be upset. I hate this for you
We are in the same boat. I didn’t get nothing for Christmas. But seeing the smile on my kids face is all I need. I’m a stay at home mom and run a business too. I know how it feels. Just buy for yourself save up. Next year you have what you want.
Buy it for yourself. Guys don’t think like we do. He means well.
Don’t listen to some of these women telling you you’re selfish or ungrateful. If you told him exactly what you wanted and even sent a link and instead he chose to buy you a fricking blender and toaster (excuse of a gift because these are household appliances and they will be used by the whole family), you do have a right to feel the way you feel. If other women dont get anything for Christmas or other occasion, that sucks for them, but it’s not something you should compare yourself to and say well at least I got something. Either way, you cant change anything now and all you can do is learn from it. Next year, get yourself what you want before you think about buying him whatever it is he wants. Put yourself first once in a while, just because you’re a stay at home mom doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to treat yourself. Being a sahm is honestly more work and exhausting than going out there to work. Also the machine you wanted could have also helped you in starting your own side hustle and making some money on the side. Return the damn appliances unless you really need them, and start saving towards the machine. PS: stay strong!
I’m sorry
Your feelings are hurt & yes that matters.
Maybe he did not have the money
You have every right to be upset. I wouldn’t say take his gifts back because you put thought in to his gifts and that makes you feel good. I would say sit him down after you guys open gifts and let him know those gifts are no longer acceptable as you are not just a homemaker, you are a person that has hobbies. Inform him that home appliances have no thought behind them and you were expecting something more for YOU.
Depending on his reaction, take his credit card and order yourself what you wanted.
And for the mamas saying
“be grateful you even got anything”
I am truly sorry you settled for a person that doesn’t think you are worthy of a gift or even to be thought of on this holiday. Us as mothers do way too much to settle.
Next year get him a some oil for the car and a plunger for the bathroom
I’m sorry you feel unheard if I were you I’d return the things that he got you and get the Cricut. I always tell my husband that anything for the house is a household gift not a me gift. We try to stay away from things like that unless one of us specifically asks for it.
I understand. I had to buy my own Christmas presents from my husband bc he doesn’t think about stuff like that. Even when I sent him my wishlist on Amazon.