Help yourself by throwing his ass out
Sounds like my ex his reason for leaving me was cuz I didn’t work full time so according to him I didn’t work cuz he had to work full time and if I got sick or hurt and had to miss work he would get mad he didn’t work til he had to he was on disability until they decided he was able to work and cut him off before that he was on cash aid and food stamps it’s all about money if they don’t have it your supposed to give it to them simply because your with them I’m glad that ended your doing it on your own pretty much he needs to man up and take care of his family or get rid of him Sounds more stressful than anything
does he have anger issues toward you or the kids? Does he drink? You could try marriage counseling. Are you seeking counseling for your disability?
He’s in the wrong. Your disabled. You take care of the house. Being a stay at home mom is a job that’s from when you eyes are open til they are closed. I’m a stay at home mom and my hubby works. He’s in-between jobs right now, but our rent is paid and we got things we need. I keep track of the money that he makes. We both make sure that our needs as a family are met first. And we have 3 kids.
If he can’t be grateful that you making sure rent is paid and foods in the fridge, he can go. Have him pay you back for the car. And leave.
Sit him down where you both can tell each other how y’all feel. Listen to understand not to respond.
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You literally already know the answer. What you allow is what will continue.
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U can’t work if a doctor said u can’t and u r on disability . Some people can work 20 or 25 hours and still keep disability. I would kick him out
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When did u get a stimulus?? Recently or do u mean last years
Tell him 2get lost. He’s holding u down. M sure he can afford 2 support his children. Yes u can be the mom 2his children. They didn’t do wrong 2u if ur partner is ungrateful. It’s not ur fault. Since u bought the car. Take it back.
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Seems like people get on disability for just about everything these days.
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You know the answer to your question you just don’t have the courage to leave yet. Try to get a healthy support system that can help you with this. You need to cut that cord and leave this abusive person.
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He’s the issue and is likely making your MH even worse you need some one that will support you and be there for you and let’s be honest with out your income you wouldn’t have a home he’s being an ass and you gotta think… do I really want the next 10 years of my life to be like this? You are enough and you deserve better if your kids are thriving they have a roof over their head and are happy then I don’t get where he’s making such a big deal… so LEAVE HIM
Wow…sounds like you have a major controlling narcissist on your hands.
Reread what you just wrote, let it really sink in.
Then get a lawyer…
Kick his worthless $$ to the curb.
Quick fast+in a hurry!!
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Wait. You can get disability for this?!
I have anxiety, don’t wanna leave the house or see people. Is this a real thing you can get disability for!?! I need to look into this.
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Get rid of him and don’t give up your check. After your away from him and on your on, you may get rid a lot of what’s wrong with you. Don’t let him put you down or fall for that crap. If you give it up , it will be you working, and he will move on to something else you don’t do right. He is not a man but a lazy A$$.
If you are allowed to work maybe just get a part time job just to help have some extra money. I wouldn’t rely solely on disability if you don’t have to.
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Sounds like you’d be better off without him…
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Take ur children & make a nice positive life for yall away from him. He’s like a boat anchor holding u back. I see a good life ahead for u as a single independent Mother. God Bless You, You got this.
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You have to report his income to ssi or y’all can get in trouble. His income will affect your check married or not
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If you’re able to survive, take care of the kids and pay your bills from disability I would seriously think about leaving.
If you can pay your bills without him, boy bye! Cheated? Already would have seen the door. You deserve better than that!
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So the benefits that come along with disability; normally ebt and Medicaid, would you be able to cover that on a regular job? Honestly if you were put on disability for a reason then getting off with hinder you later if you get back on. I’d tell him to kick rocks
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You are not supporting anybody…the state is…
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Get rid of him and put him on child support
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Men never think they have done wrong when they have a job and paying bills
You don’t need him sis!! Kick him to the curb!
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First of all stop shaming people if you don’t experience any form of mental health if you’ve not had to live with it or you’re not a professional with an actual degree just keep your opinions to yourself. As for your situation, I would check into some low income apartments because you get disability you may be able to take your children and get in just you and them and let him do what he needs to do. Because if you’re already covering bills and responsibilities then he’s basically just dead weight.
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kick his ass out and get you a real man one who cares about you not for himselfe and breaks 3 times in a year that is bull shit i drive all over the country on one set in 5 years ask anyone breaks dont wear out that offen
No you aren’t wrong, maybe just with the wrong man.
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If you were doing alright with him gone , an now he’s sucking you dry I’d be saying Good Bye .Bet your anxiety would go away. Also get child support and be well rid of him.
Maybe take a job that pays under the table. Babysitting or cleaning houses.
Throw the whole dude away and start over
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He wants your money to be his money & his money to be his money. I was in a very similar situation. I received disability, he worked. Yet I was the 1 to pay for everything.
I hope you put the car in your name only. Break up with him ASAP, file for eviction immediately, stop letting him drive your car, stop giving him money.
In my situation he made me take pay day loans. My kids & I were left homeless. He claimed my kids on his taxes but wouldn’t use it to help them have a place to live or get me out of my loans as he promised. His goal was to drain me of anything so my/our ids couldn’t be taken care of. He was pissed when I started to rebuild without him. It took a lot of time & a lot of help but now I’m better than I was with him. You will be too.
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He’s replacing the brakes 3x’s a year 
have you seen a receipt for these brakes? Cuz idk how he could possibly do that much damage in that short amount of time.
Anyway, kick him out. You’ve been doing alone anyway so you might as well let him fend for himself especially considering he thinks he’s billy bad a$$ who takes care of everything for y’all.
Stop letting him mentally abuse and use you! If you are paying for everything as it is then send the loser on his way. If you put up with it then you are to blame afterwards
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I’m amazed you make so much on disability especially counting the extra income! You can work from home. Being on disability you can work so many hours, I think like 16 or 20 or something. I wouldn’t do that for him though, but for you and your kids. I’d get rid of him so fast, even let him keep the car…that he will inevitably lose but I say it’s worth it to be rid of him
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Leave. That’s the only advice I can think of.
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Leave the man child and you and your babies will make it. I say if I already do everything by myself then why in the hell do I need to keep up a grown person that just cuts you down??? You can do it and you will feel alot better with all that stress and stuff gone…
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Honestly, it sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it to. As In, he basically thinks that money is free money and that you should also have to work too to fill in more of the gaps. Because you’re not working for your money he’s holding it against you. It’s asinine of him to think you can do both. If you work then you lose your disability. If he’s so hard pressed about increasing your financial situation then he needs to be getting a second job or a better job.
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Leave him and use your money for you and your kids,you will probably feel much better healthwise losing 150 to 200 pounds of deadweight…just my opinion
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I’m not trying to be the odd one out or anything, but after 8 years, shouldn’t you have made some progress on your mental health? Agoraphobia and anxiety aren’t supposed to be long term disability, you should have made some kind of progress by now…
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I am with what I feel everyone else should be saying. Get a job. It takes two to run a house financially and mentally. I work overtime every week to add additional support for my family and we do stuff equally, this makes my marriage very successful. If no education go back to school but work towards working and teaching your children to be hard workers.
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I used to be the Low income rep. for our county:
BUT FIRST I am asking why you stay with this man … yes, you “love him…” I get that -
You should have let HIM buy the car with his money, right?
1.) You, being disabled, can be getting a check for each dependent -
2.) His anger is going to stay the same OR escalate! I promise…
3.) Is this honestly the pattern you want your children growing up thinking is ‘a normal happy and loving marriage’? because I promise - they will, whether you talk to them or not, they believe what they SEE. They may be ‘healthy’ and get good grades, but emotionally they are not.
Your story is similar to mine but I even lost my home I was buying … and twice have all but been homeless with 5 children.
Emotionally - mentally - AND financially you are better off without him -
sign me,
mother of 5 with major regrets I didn’t do something sooner 
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Seems ten years would allow for enough time to figure out if you wanna be with someone. Let alone have a child with them. And I find it ironic all the women say leave him. He’s no good for you. That you don’t need him. As if hes never done anything for you or your family. Almost as if they project their own experiences in the equation. I bet so. Either way its up to you to do what you feel is right. Let me ask this who did the work on the brakes? Thought ya didn’t need him? Double standards aint right either. And you shouldn’t cut down your loved ones. Kinda makes one question your judgements being you choose to be with him. Do you push him to do better? Live better? Do you encourage him to live his best him? Seems Theres enough blame to be passed around without others ideological opinions. Men are not designed to settle down with one. Its in our DNA to reproduce as much as we can. To multiply as quick and often as we can. Women are designed the opposite. Nurture care for and mend of all that. Every step takes teamwork.
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Get rid of him…what do you need him for? He’s just bringing you down
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Girl get some anxiety meds and get out of the house. That can’t be healthy either 
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Throw the man child out.
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This dude is a stray dog. Give him back to the streets.
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The children deserve better.
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Throw his ass out you are doing your part
Some of these people should be ashamed of themselves and these comments , always lifting they nose up at other people meanwhile they shit stank !!! 
half you mfs never had a happy home , when it came to y’all parents , nor y’all marriages FOH
His income just covers insurance? Lol I’m sorry but you have 3 kids!
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You should straight up ignore half of these comments they are a joke. You’re doing just fine. If he need more money than he needs to get a second job, work overtime etc. He seems to forget who kept the family and bills afloat when he fucked up and went to jail. He honestly has some making up to do in my opinion.
Sounds like you’re better off on your own. I wouldnt stay with someone like that
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He brings nothing to the table, so to speak. Get rid of him.
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Don’t disability allow you to work but only so much? I thought you would work but had to make under a certain amount and had to keep it under so many hours? I would look into that. I personally feel everyone can work! There are work from home jobs that pay good. It’s important to be a good role model for your kids. And sitting at home never working isn’t being a good role model. Look the door greeter at my Walmarts is in a wheelchair can’t walk be he works. A guy with down syndrome cleans tables off at my local mall. There is a job for everyone.
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He is dead weight he needs to gooo
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Kick his sorry ass out
Yeah lose the loser. He’s using u.
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Get rid of the whole sorry excuse if a man. You’re on disability. That’s what people get when they can’t work. You’d be so much happier, so would the kids, without him treating you that way. This day and age if you need something from the store or pharmacy you can have it delivered and if you have an appointment you can get an Uber. Would probably be cheaper in the end plus no added mental stress of someone constantly downgrading you.
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Put him out girl you can do bad all by yourself
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The problem is him not you. If he wants more let him go out and get it. Seems u would be fine without him. Congratulate yourself for your accomplishments.
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Hes a loser onesided as whilst you have been doing 99% of everything and he sounds like he has No appreciation what so ever dont let the years fool you its an opportunity for you to be free and find someone who will uplift you not put u down
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I’m envious that disability pays for your anxiety. I have severe anxiety and depression and I still work. I have kids. I have to work. I don’t know why you’d be stable financially yet stay with someone like that
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Leave him get child support and find a man who knows how to appreciate you.
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Ah what the actual…if what you have written doesn’t sound like a problem then girl you need your head read. Go and get some professional help, stash money away and get out. Pack you stuff up and move on or better yet kick his dead beat ass out.
Everyone taking about her being on disability when the real problem is him. It’s doesn’t matter how long or how many kids y’all got together, enough is enough. They always see what they took for granted when it’s gone. Let him figure life on his own. And then tell you how minimal you’ve been.
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Like you said you’re on disability for a reason. It’s not easy to get disability. You have to have a real disability or you’ll never get it. Whats wrong with him getting a part time extra job to help with finances?
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Girl u can do better without him. I have the same issues. You have to overcome for those babies.
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Stop giving him money! And get rid of him! He’s lazy
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You drop the dead weight which it’s him. He’s the actual problem.
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HE is the problem NOT you
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There are so many red flags in your post. Get rid of him!
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If you are on SSD you can make up to 900 a month and keep your benefit. SSI you can also but not as much. Start putting $ away. It will never end, you deserve to be happy and the kids need a happy mom.
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You would be better off on your own. Kick him to the curb. Don’t forget to file for alimony AND child support. At least you wouldn’t need to clean up after him. Who knows, your condition could improve !!!
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Keep what you have settle for no less…it’s his turn…
Sounds like you should let him go. You’ve done it alone before, you got this. Better than being unhappy with him.
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Take up a work from home job…that fits in with the requirements of your SSD, and don’t tell him about it. Save that money and get you and the kid’s set up somewhere without him. You deserve to be treated better
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Do not give up your disability. You are meant to be on it. They don’t just give it to anyone. Keep doing things the way you are. You are doing great.
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Your hurting yourself and the kids by keeping him in your life. You need to leave him and focus on yourself and the kids. Stop letting him use you.
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try to get a work from home job
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kick him to the curb
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Wow changes breaks 3 times a year 
haven’t changed mine in 5 years.
Tell him to grow up or get out
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He is GASLIGHTING you 
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Sell the car…you don’t drive and you bought it…then see how he gets around…use that money and move out. You can get housing, food stamps…etc
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Sounds like you are doing plenty to help your kids. He is the one that’s wrong. I’m sure you are also taking care of the necessities for the household too and buying the kids things the kids need…clothes, shoes etc. Time for him to go and I’d keep the car. “Since,you are not not doing anything to elevate the family”. He’s trying to elevate himself…
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Get rid of his bitch ass
Kick his ass to the curb hun x
Your income is the stability and you need to get that across to him lol regardless of how it’s obtained, it is, and it’s because of you.
He is a narcissist. Stop giving and start taking for you and your children. He needs to grow up.
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What a selfish man,
It doesn’t matter if you are on a pension or working the money is still coming in.
Leave you can obviously support yourself and your kids.
You don’t need him
You said it yourself… You kept the family afloat. You have an income, regardless of where it comes from. He should consider himself lucky that you let him get away with so much.
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He needs to grow up. You need counseling. You have supported him and the kids for years. He is being a bully. Stay strong
My Bible taught me that it’s the man’s place to upkeep the household, that being said I worked many years not because I had to but because I chose to, if you are not good enough You be The Man and put him in his place, outside your door
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Don’t give up your disability,you will lose your dependence and that is what he probably wants.
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Leave. That. Deadbeat.
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He’s a f’ing narcissist and you deserve so much better!
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Oh he needs to go. He clearly doesn’t respect you at all. What a bum man…
So your not married to him, he has no respect for you, he is mentally abusing you, and you just keep giving he keeps taking!! Ask yourself would I want my daughter to be treated like this would I want my son to treat someone he is suppose to love like this??? Your kids see things and hear things it’s up to you to make an example for a good life for your children, by having a good life… never let anyone take your self worth. The choice is for you to make for the kind of life you want and deserve!!
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The fact he lies and cheats, girl why is that boy still living with you bludging and getting away with it. Tell him to p#$$ off and focus on you and your kids.
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I am so very sorry with the disabilities you suffer from and I mean suffer . I don’t think anyone can understand acrophobia unless they have it themselves or a version of acrophobia which , often feels like you are but a spectator in your own life . If your partner can’t understand and support you with this well, it says a lot more about him than it does you ! Try not to let him put you down for something you have no control over and you more than pay your way with your house hold and family . Maybe he needs to have a good look in the mirror 
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