I recently left my child’s father. After my child was born we had an agreement that’s I’d be a stay at home mom and he’d work, and pay the rent, ect… I have state assistance so I buy the food, cook it, clean, ect… He worked 40+ hours a week but wouldn’t pay bills… We got 3 eviction notices in 2 years. Electric shut off due to the bill being over $14,000. When I left I took our daughter with me. He contacted her twice a day. Saying good morning and good night. When I filed for child support he went 2 days without contract. After that it was once a day. If that. The consistency started fading. So I stopped letting her go see him every weekend. I told him to stay consistent with reaching out to her, whether it be to say good morning or good night, or even asking how she’s doing, and he chose to stop all contract. Last thing I said to him was show me your trying to be consistent and things will change. Nothing from him since. And that was 2 weeks ago. Am I in the wrong? Imo my child deserves to hear from her father daily. But he can’t seem to stay consistent. At a loss and need advice.
I once told by a lawyer, “we can’t make them be a good parent”. You do you. If he doesn’t want in her life, that’s his deal not yours. Your child will realize on their own where and why of the father. Do not intervene, just let it be. And if you’re the one who needs that connection, then maybe you are not done with him. But that’s two different things. You can’t obligate them to be good fathers. But you also should never cover for the father or lie for him. Your child deserves the truth about him. Speaking as a child of divorce and a single mother with similar problems.