They need to mind their business… just take what that family member said with a grain of salt… your life, your family, they don’t live their and they are entitled to their opinion… but you don’t have to like it. & if they don’t like it, don’t stop in unannounced! 
your friends don’t mind because they probably live the same way… y’all mesh & they know how y’all live and don’t mind… so no worries. 
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Sounds like a pesky family member needs to mind their own business!
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My boys are always in boxers. Always. If people are uncomfortable that is their issue, not that of your child (who was at HOME around family and friends that are as close as family.) People who sexualize children worry me, and are kept away from our kids. You are definitely NOT the AH, the person giving unsolicited directions on how to run YOUR house is the AH.
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if they don’t like it it they shouldn’t come to YOUR HOUSE. tell them to fuck off.
If people stopped sexualizing 8 year Olds this wouldn’t even be an issue. He was at home where it’s COMPLETELY NORMAL to be in bare minimum. If he was stripping in public, it would be an issue. People need to mind their business. My son is 8, he strips down to his boxers THE SECOND we walk in the door. When his older sisters or their mom come over…they expect no less🤣 when outsiders come he will put actual clothes on. But all in all, it’s no one else’s business. It’s MY (our) house, MY (our) rules. Period.
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If you wouldn’t let your little girl do it then don’t let your little boy do it just because you say it’s okay doesn’t mean when he gets older the next person is.
WTF has it got to do with the visitor…don’t like what you see, don’t look! Your house, your rules.
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You are 100% in the right… as long as there is no abuse going on in your home (which there obviously isn’t) people can mind their business regarding how you and hubby choose to run your household… if people don’t like it they can mind their own business, or stay away from your home and wait for you to visit them… simple as that… it’s completely out of line for whoever to want/expect your family to be uncomfortable, especially children, in YOUR home… if others don’t like it, they know where the door is… hang in there mama, you’re doing great
Your house, your rules. Your family shouldn’t give their input if not asked. I’m the same way. I let them walk around how they’re comfortable. Getting fully dressed when visitors are here. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to visit.
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I can understand wanting him to wear underwear at the store or out in public, but not in this situation. She has no right, and if you ask me, she’s the one one making it something weird when your son is just a kid. She needs to back off and mind her own business.
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How’s it any different than a bathing suit. People just like to tell others how to live their lives.
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We’ve always ran around comfortable at home …It’s home and anyone who doesn’t agree can eff off…
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Sounds like that family member wants to no longer be allowed around at all then
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My 7 yr old grandson sleeps in his underwear and sometimes doesn’t get dressed at all. At home and at my house.
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Its your home and your family and if people don’t like the way you all live your lives, relatives or not, then they don’t have to visit. You have done nothing wrong.
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Tell them they can do what they want in their own home but this is your house and you will do what you feel is best. End of story
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Your house your rules also your kids your rule tell them of mind their own busines
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Tell them to say it to your face and then tell them they’re pathetic and should mind their own business and people should be comfortable in their own home and there are people wearing a lot less and if it bothers them then don’t come back
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Your house your child. None of their business. Just as well they don’t visit me.
It’s no different than wearing swimwear
If you can’t lounge around in your undies in your own home then where…MYOB
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Yes, it’s YOUR home!
my 14 year old brother wanders my mom’s house in underwear after school or on weekends when there is no company it’s home so why tf not family member can shove it
Just say thanks for letting me know leve it there
Today , he could wear underwear to the store. His underwear identifies as shorts.
Why does he need to call her twice a day and how did you get assistance with the father working and in the home?
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I definitely think you are in the wrong. If he’s a good father, he should be able to see his child on weekends weather he calls daily or not!!
Him having her EVERY weekend is CONSISTANCY!!!
Calling twice a day is crazy expectations. Let the kiddo spend time with her father on weekends and stop being bitter and controlling!!
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Yes you are wrong. Sounds like he was taking her every other weekend. He doesn’t have to call every day to talk to her. Stop trying to control everything.
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What electric company lets you get $14,000 behind is my first question ?
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How did a power bill get to be 14,000 ? That’s crazy !
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the more you push someone and try to control them they’re going to back away. you’re in the wrong in my opinion, you’re only hurting your child.
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You don’t get to dictate how often he should call her etc. I think you’re in the wrong. I understand it’s because you want your daughter to have consistency but leave room for error. He’s only human.
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My kids see their dad every week Fri-Sun.
He calls them maybe once in between but usually not at all, and he’s still a great dad.
I don’t call them on weekends either. His time is his, mine is mine🤷🏻♀️ they’re 11, 9, and 3.
If he’s consistent seeing her then who cares about a phone call….
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Yes you are in the wrong you absolute control freak!! That is absurd …look into parental alienation before you do your child some serious long term damage!!!
You don’t get to dictate their relationship unless he is causing the child harm… Being inconsistent isn’t not calling everyday! Wow! Give your head a damn good shake and grow TF up!
Do you call her twice a day when she’s there?
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You. Are. Wrong.
Set up proper parenting time with dad. You don’t get to control it. Jesus 
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My husband has a kid from before. He tried to call/check in on kiddo while with other parent/ grandparent but then it got to be kiddo was too busy to talk back or it wasn’t a good time for them and then he started working more so it wasn’t a good time for him when it was for them. However he made it a point to be 1000% present when he was with kiddo. Not every parent can be able to be able to contact daily. If he’s at least making an effort I would let him. There’s so many moms out there that have to fight to even get the support that is ordered. Let alone a father that wants to spend time with their kid.
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Coming from a broken home…let them have whatever relationship they have. Your daughter may choose not to be consistent with him or they at least will have a relationship which is good for her.
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Leave him alone and he will come back around, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Consult an attorney. Is he paying child support?? Get things straightened out~~~~
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That’s kinda petty and controlling honestly. If her safety at her father’s was in question, I’d understand but not contacting her daily is not a reason to keep her from him.
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For one, electric would be shut off way before $14,000 and for two he’s the father and he has his own rights. Keeping a child away from the other parent can look very bad in court. Unless harm/abuse is involved. Calling every day is pretty excessive. I usually message my children’s dad if something is important or if it’s just something I want to share with them. You can also message him giving him updates about the child. It does not always have to be him. Some parents want nothing to do with their kids so I’d be thankful of the efforts already made.
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I have questions
- how old is the child?
- how you living with no job?
- when dad does call, can the child actually talk to him? Or does he have to talk to you?
If the child is still an infant & still non-verbal, why the hell does he need to call you every day? If she is verbal, & can actually carry on a conversation, that’s different. I still think you are wrong bc you are trying to control the relationship between the child & the baby in my opinion
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Who are you to say he has to call EVERY SINGLE DAY in order to even see his child?!!! You are wrong! At first you said twice a day and u are upset it went down to once a day
Be happy he wants to be involved as much as he does!! You are making a toxic environment for him to be in his child’s life.
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Sounds like you both need to grow up, and put your child first instead of playing petty games.
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Sounds like you want the daily contact and control to me not been nasty that’s how I’m reading it xx
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If he doesn’t care to see his kid than no you aren’t wrong. You tried now it’s his turn. I never would have pushed phone calls though.
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So you never thought maybe I need to get in 2 years.
Yes u r wrong if he took it court got weekend like my husband did his bm got weekend since she didn’t ask for phone call tho week and we didn’t ask for call on weekend …she could go all week w out calling or asking about him get her weekend , ur child is baby right so calling daily is him actually him talking to u ( maybe that what u really bad about u don’t know what he doing now he not calling u )… been 2 weeks bc maybe he don’t want deal w petty shit hoping planing take u court for visit
He doesn’t call twice a day, so you’re upset? My kids only hear from their dad if they call or message him…he has visitation rights but doesn’t try to see them…hasn’t seen them in years. If he made the slightest effort to have a relationship with them I would be ecstatic…
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You’re being a control freak, he doesnt have to call twice day to see his child on the weekend. You’re being petty lol
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I’m going through this right now. We couldn’t agree on a parenting plan at mediation. We finally sat down just us two and decided on something. I don’t like the in and out thing. If you’re going to be there, then be there, but don’t confuse a child with wanting to be a parent whenever you feel like it. Keep a log of every time he sees her. Every weekend is okay, but sometimes every other weekend works best. You guys need to come to an agreement and remember, it’s not about you. It’s about what is in the best interest of the child. If he chooses to be absent, then that’s on him and you need to make sure your child understands just that much and leave it alone. You either want to be a parent or you don’t. It confuses a child to be in and out and inconsistent. He also doesn’t need to contact her on a daily basis. As long he makes time and effort to see her and reach out to her is enough for her to see that he’s actively trying
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My advice would be to stop telling him what to do. You need a parenting plan in place and as far as daily contact leave that up to him. You can’t force a bond.
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Don’t use a child as punishment …go to court get child support if he’s not helping but you should never keep a child form visiting the other parent unless there are abuse issues…don’t punish you child trying to punish him
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If the child is so young… who is the satisfaction of daily contact actually for? It seems your wanting to be excessively controlling.
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I don’t think your wrong. Children need consistency, especially from parents. If he can’t even pick up the phone once a day or once every two days to call his children he’s being extremely slack and not putting them as a priority at all
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Yes you’re wrong. If you were only concerned about him contacting her and being a good father, you wouldn’t have mentioned any of the relationship problems. You’re mad at him, you want to control him and you’re pushing him away. He will call when he calls. Now if he went months without seeing your child then wanted weekends, did two weekends and disappeared for a month thats a different story. If I was him I would be backing off because to me it sounds like you’re making it harder on your child then it has to be. Him backing off means your kid isn’t in the middle of it. Plus you sound exhausting
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He is her father. Allow him to have a relationship with his child.
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Wow . Just because a parent fails to pay you can not with hold the child from the parent. You are in the wrong. Nothing is about you both anymore it’s about your child. Grow up and try and compromise… Wow on so many levels…
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Who do you think you are, you’re trying to control him and the entire situation - let go FFS. He does not have to contact her when it suits you. Who are you to stop his contact with his daughter - really sad, such a big mistake on your part - you will eventually suffer the consequences. Really can’t stand it when women do this to men unnecessarily, and this situation is unnecessary, big time ! And yours and your exes bills has nothing to do with any form of child access - you sound like a piece of work to me! Sorry to sound harsh but bloody hell you appear to have no control over your emotions - stop taking it out on your child or the dad for that matter!!!
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You have 0 right to keep a child from the other parent unless you feel like the child is in danger.
That’s it.
You aren’t wrong for leaving him, but you are wrong to keep her from him. He hasn’t been gone for months, he didn’t call for a couple of days. That’s not that big of a deal. I understand it might be to YOU, but technically, a court will not agree with it.
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Sound like a baby mama from hell , put the shoe on the other foot . See how you like that feeling . Smh real immature all the way around . Sounds like kids having kids .
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Wow… you are wrong.
You cannot stop your child seeing their father because he doesn’t call everyday.
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There are a few things I am confused about. I do know one thing though, my ex walked out on us and we have a special needs child. He left us because I kept telling him to help and be a part of our sons life more. I asked him to stop lying all the time and telling people fabricated stories. I asked him to put his phone down more and spend quality time with us. He was going out all night and oftentimes not coming home and I told him we missed him and stop leaving us out. I was tired of going 24/7 while he did him and being cold and distant. So he left because I bickered and caught on to his shady behavior. He’s been gone a month and a half and he’s showed up to see our son for 20 minutes and says he has to go to the gym. He comes at his own convenience and makes plans with his friends on his days off. Our son got 2 hours and 45 min and he was ready to leave. He lied to his son and didn’t show up a couple times. He goes a week with out even calling or checking on him but is posting pics of himself at the gym. That’s inconsistent and my son needs that and structure. He has began regressing and not using his words, his therapist is adding more therapy only for me to have to take it away as I now will have to work full time plus and still find a way to get him to his specialist appointments. This is not structure. These are real reasons why I think my sons father just needs to walk away. My sons father chose to leave when he was very much loved all because he didn’t want responsibility. So when you are speaking of inconsistency I still see a dad who was trying but pulling away towards the end of your story. You should communicate with him and ask him why he’s pulling away or set a schedule you both can stick by for visitations and call times. Yes we work and parent with more responsibility but if the dad actually wants to be there then give him some responsibility to. Hope this helps.
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You’re definitely in the wrong. Just because he doesn’t call twice a day doesn’t mean he should get to see HIS kid?? Didn’t you say he works?
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You’re wrong. It’s a child, a human, not a pawn. Be mature and get a parenting plan.
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He is doing what many guys and gals do. When you love someone it is painful to have contact and then act like they are not present. It is easier on the adult emotionally. Not right for the kid but adults dont want to hurt either.
Everyday is a little much for a phone call, if it’s a everyday visit then yes absolutely. But For 2 weeks I’d say you aren’t wrong there. He needs to be more consistent. Consistency is important. But you can’t force him to be a father. He will choose what he wants to do you only can protect your daughter the best way you can. And do what’s best for her. If he wants to see her or talk to her he will. It’s as simple as that.
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Also if he decided to take you to court, you’re gonna look really bad not letting her see him because he doesn’t call twice a day. That’s something a judge probably wouldn’t wanna hear
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My parents are divorced I grew up with only my mom and her boyfriends and dreamt that one day my dad would take me in and care for me but over the years he stopped trying the only time I talk to my father now is to just say happy easter or merry Christmas ect. Im not saying your right but I’m also not saying your wrong I just wish my mom would have pushed my dad a little more to come get me or call me more often (when I was a kid) now i have the choice if I don’t want to talk to him or not
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Wrong. This guy is working 40+ hours a week and you want him to call everyday and because he doesn’t and he’s not “consistent” you are not letting your child see her dad? Sounds pretty petty. Maybe he’s trying to figure out his life after you leaving? If the child isn’t in danger and he supports her, I don’t see the issue. That’s just my opinion. Also, I wouldn’t rely on a verbal “agreement” to get you by with bills. Clearly it’s not working. If nothing is on paper then it’s time to get to work!
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You NEVER use a child against their parent. You also can’t force him to call daily. You are acting like a control freak. And the minute it didn’t go your way you stop letting him see the child. That’s called parental alienation by the way.
If he takes you to court the judge won’t like you did this either. Even most court orders for visitation only have set days for visitation and no where will it say that he has to call daily.
Honestly, it sounds like to me that you don’t wanna be with him but you still wanna try to use the child you have together to control him.
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And you need to grow up!!!
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Girl no. You’re trying to control him. As long as he’s consistent with his visitations let her go. She needs her dad. You can’t control him or his life. Grow up. Stop having kids until you do!
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Sounds like micro managing to me … maybe he’s tired of dealing with her … some people will walk away instead of dealing with drama … or he may just he a pos … justndo rite by the kid
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How old is this child that needs to talk to their father 2x a day? How do you have the time to facilitate that? You are worried too much about what he is doing. Let him parent the way he needs to and sounds like he wants to be there just not under your dictatorship. I wouldn’t either. 
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You can want consistency but if he’s trying, stop using your child as a tool to get back at him for not parenting how you want.
Until you have a custody order, he can come take her whenever he wants. So keep playing. If he calls 2 or 3x a week, good. Be happy. Thank him for trying. If he gets her every weekend, great! Encourage it.
He’ll use this against you in court and I hope the judge tells you off. You’ll lose if you keep it up. You can’t tell a judge “He didn’t call twice a day or everyday so cut off visitation”. Seriously?
You better get your head out of your 4th point of contact and put what she needs before what you want. She needs time with her dad. He can parent how he chooses provided she’s safe.
Grow. Up.
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U can’t stop father from seeing his child I hope you go to court and father brings that up you wrong in this
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Your wrong. Let him see her. My goodness 
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Not wrong! It’s best he stay out of her life if he’s not going to be coJnsistent. Cut off contact. If he really wants to be a father he’ll apply for rights. If he does & you go to court be adamant about putting in the order that he is consistent or looses the privelege. You can put things in a legal order like if he’s 15 minutes late picking her up he forfeits his visit. If he’s late dropping her off his drop off time is deducted for future visits. If he misses 3 visits in a 12 month period he looses visitation rights. Any change in visits needs to be done in writing or text 48 hours prior to change. Be understanding. Things happen so I wouldn’t count a sudden medical emergency or car breaks downs if he contacts you. Get a lawyer if he she’s you for visits. They can make things happen that we can’t on our own.
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So let me get this straight, since he stopped calling your daughter 1-2 times PER DAY, you stopped her from going over there every weekend?
He was seeing her EVERY weekend, isn’t that some type of consistency? By stopping her from going over there, YOU are interfering with the consistency. Yes you’re WRONG. If this man was a danger to your child or unfit, I could understand stopping visits. But to stop because he’s not doing what you want him to do, when you want him to do it is ridiculous. At the end of the day, you’ll really be hurting your child the MOST. 
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If your interfering at all she will resent you when she gets older.
If she asks to call him, let her… if he doesn’t answer then she will remember EVERYTIME he doesn’t answer… she will learn he is the one who isn’t there vs. My mom Said he couldn’t unless he met xyz expectations.
Yes she deserves better but let her make her own decision so she isn’t mad at you when she gets older…
Btw… if the courts find out you with held her they could favor him instead. BECAREFUL these waters are treacherous and you should speak to a attorney… keep detailed records, logs, calls, texts…
FYI I’m going through it now
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You can’t control this situation… He don’t need to call every day… Be happy with the fact that he wants to be a father. Some kids in this shifty ass world don’t even get that…
You are in the wrong. My oldest daughter is almost 9, her dad & I have been split up since she was 13 months old. I have her through the week & 2 weekends a month & he has her every other weekend but if he wants her one night through the week, I let him have her. He doesn’t call her every single day & I’d never tell him that he needed to either. I don’t call her every morning & night when she’s with him. She usually does FaceTime me at least once but I don’t expect her to. Her dad is a damn good dad & she adores him.
Why are you trying to withhold his child from him bc he doesn’t call her every day? I’m sorry but that is ridiculous. Let him see his child! You have no idea the damage that you are going to do if you keep this up. My 5 & 4 year old don’t have a dad. Their dad is dead & even though he was absolutely horrible to me, everyday I wish he was here for THEM.
Another thing - I will tell you what my attorney told me. Child support/anything that has to do with money has nothing to do with custody. You will never be able to hold that against him & not let him see his child if he doesn’t pay you. Stop trying to control everything & be careful.
He was being consistent with visitation.
And as you said, he works 40+ a week.
I know in my job, there are days I don’t have time to even text my husband or say hello to my kids until I get home.
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Grow up. You are hurting your daughter. Not him!
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Sounds like you can’t let go!!! I have 5 children w my ex, I went years with him talking to his children once a month!! Now I’m lucky if he talks to them once every 6 months, I may be stupid but I still allow them to see their dad!!!
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As long as he keeps his visitation, there doesn’t need to be phone calls twice a day. Let him go…
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Your ex may not have had a good male role model while growing up. (Not an excuse to stop talking to his child) but may explain the issues going on. you guys have already called it quits. That part is over. It’s no longer about how you two feel. It’s all about the child bc in the end the child will be loosing time with the parents. Maybe is just too much to deal with for him. Most all men want to take care of things and when a man can’t do that (for whatever the reasons may be) I’m sure it hits him very hard. Mental health could definitely be helping his parenting decisions work out the way they have. You have done a wonderful Job doing what you feel is best for your child keep up the good work & maybe try to chill out sit back and let the cookie crumble as it may. ( as hard as that may be) I see my step daughter every chance I get my times are every Wednesday & every other weekend. I say from experience just take in every moment you get with them bc to share a child is not easy in anyway! And it’s Likely you and your ex will never see eye to eye on certain things. Y’all just need to set up a parenting plan and try to stick to it. As hard as it may be. Best of luck to you!
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what is this page, pick me stepmom central?
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Im sure hes depressed and feel like hes loosing it all. Unless a child is being abused in someway or in a dangerous situation then never keep a child from its parent.
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If he came to see her then your being a petty bitch. The judge would put you in your place. You cannot make up your terms for visitation.
You can’t force any parent, especially one you don’t reside with, to parent the way you would. Your child will learn in due time by his own actions and decide for themselves how they feel about it. You can’t make this about how you wouldn’t make your child feel neglected and try to make him do what he should already want to do, but doesn’t/won’t. Get your child support, be the best mother you can be and let his choices be his own including the consequences of them.
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Start looking at him like he is a human and have a conversation.
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Both of y’all are acting petty and childish. He has every right to see his child phone call or not. If it had been two YEARS then maybe I would offer a supervised visit but all of this was/is still fresh. Let him visit his kid, damn. And don’t worry court will automatically garnish his check for child support so you’ll get you money (which is what this entire post started about). Jeesh.
I would say set a Skype visitation schedule at the same times every day. Then set visitation schedule at the same times every weekend.
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After my divorce, my mom told me that I was wasting time trying to push him into being a good dad. That all I could do was focus on being the best mom I could.
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Um you are being a little hard!!!
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My partner and i split after my daughter was born, i didnt chase him for money for her and didnt force him to be involved, shes almost 13 now, on the off chance he wants her, he gets her, never stop a parent from seeing their child let them make their decisions, the child will c the effort they put in one day x
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