Me and my boyfriend have only been together for 3 months . When we first got together I was pregnant , I lost my child and have been dealing with some serious depression behind it that’s throwing my energy entirely off . The child was not his , it was from my previous VERY TOXIC AND CRAZY relationship . When , we first got together it was rushed . I had just got out of a relationship and I explained this fully . He has a 4 year old from a previous relationship as well . I made it very clear I did not want to meet his daughter until at least 6 months . Things happened and we moved in together and started working together recently . So , now we never have alone time , personal space . This guy has done everything to save me . But , I am battling serious mental issues right now . And , he keeps pressuring his child into my life . Which I can’t mentally handle right now . I force myself too . I never allow arguments in front of her . I’ll ignore him fully before we even hold a conversation that doesn’t need to be heard to a child . Well , he now has her every weekend . So , I said maybe it’s best that when she comes over I leave and y’all spend daddy daughter time together and when she goes back to her mom’s , I’ll come back . I don’t want her to hate me cause’ my vibe is off . And , I don’t want to say the wrong things cause’ my mental health . I’m just going through a lot of healing right now . Serious Healing . And , he tries to not see his child instead and starts crying and throwing like the biggest fit like a 2 year old or something . Mind you I buy her toys and make holiday gift baskets since we’ve been together . I go all out for her . I love this child . But , mentally I am afraid to be around her . For SO MANY REASONS . Another note , I just lost Baby K and wasn’t ready for children to begin with . I don’t mind them . But , I am 22 . I’m a very selfish person . With my time , money , and energy . I rather invest that into myself than a child . So , I chose to get on birth control since he’s been begging me for a kid and said circumstances … I just need someone to give me the real … Cause’ I’m so ready to admit myself into a psych ward … I don’t have family to go too … I don’t have friends … If I leave me and my dog will be on the streets entirely since what we have is what we just created together . I love him . I love her . I’m just batteling things . No matter how much I explain to him he still does it or doesn’t understand … Any other options ? Tips on coping ? Tips on explaining … Someone please .
Sometimes the psych ward can be very helpful. I went to the psych ward for 4 days a few years back and they got me on good medication and the food was actually really good. Sometime you got to call around like call a social worker and see where the good psych ward is. That might really help you out. It sounds like you need some mental health right now
Going into a psych ward for my own self improvement was the best decision I ever made. It wasn’t fun, but my life has been infinitely better since then.
I hope you find the help and understanding that you need.
I’m so sorry you’re suffering. I know how you feel. While you have him as a support please go get help. I’m praying for you and BIG hug
It sounds like you know the answer. Leave get on your feet and help yourself. Be selfish. You will never be happy and be able to give your whole self to someone until you yourself is happy. If this means being alone or a psych ward. 
you can do this
I agree with the lady above me. Psych hospitals are great resources for depression and other mental health issues. You can commit yourself. The food is decent. I had to go for severe ppd & other medical reasons. It does help if you let it.
Admit your self to the psych ward. It helps so many people just being away and somewhere that they can process things. Plus they have 24/7 help, they can get you on the right medication and they will assess you for many things.
Because of your dog I would suggest either finding someone else to watch the dog or something.
Simply…if your mental health is not in place…you have nothing.
Right now…you have to focus on yourself to reach a stage where you feel you are mentally doing better.
Rather sad that your partner cannot understand that. You lost a child…you allowed to grieve.
Nothin wrong with a visit just to get help. Or maybe seeing a counselor or Dr on ur own before a hospital visit. But ur not alone in this battle ur facing. Get help now before its to late. U notice these things and ur off to get urself back I need to get over this. I’m sorry for ur loss.
You need to talk to a professional
This is what happens when you jump into things. On the real you made your bed now you gotta lay in it.
I am so sorry you are going through this! I lost my daughter back in 2012 and it was extremely painful. Please seek the help of a support group first and foremost! A therapist or psychiatrist absolutely couldnt hurt either. Please sit your boyfriend down to talk to him about how you feel. Maybe you can move into some familys house or maybe a friend. If you ever need to talk please dont hesitate! My thoughts are with you!
If you are having that hard time adjusting to a child around, mayeb think for a moment if this is the right time for you to be in a relationship with someone who has a child. And especially having these worries and only being together for 3 months.
Im probably the odd person out on this one.
Thay child is a forever thing and you cant forever just leave when the child is there visiting.
Maye go get yourself some help you get yourself stable and reevaluate being ina. Relationship with someone with a child or just inna relationship in general.
You must worry about yourself first
Sending prayers your way!
awww I’m so sorry. if u don’t feel say, then seek help n if u need 2 check urself into a safe place, please please do so…I’m here if u need 2 talk
No explanation necessary. He has a child. That child is apart of him. You just went through a horrible loss and need time to sort that out. This is not the right time for the two of you to be in a relationship with one another. Right now, you need to focus solely on healing from your loss.
Hormones could be playing a role in how you’re feeling mentally. Definitely seek help…an antidepressant might help!
This is way to much to soon and he is not listening or caring about your boundaries and what you need to heal. 3months is way to sudden for living together having his kid around all the time and talking about having a baby together. (Trust me I’ve done it) not to mention what you are going thru in loosing your pregnancy. It sounds like you need to get out and find your own two feet before you can go be in a relationship
He does understand. He just doesn’t care and wants what he wants and doesn’t view you as a person who gets to have your own thoughts and opinions.
His child is and should be his life at that age, honestly do them both a favour and leave him if you can’t accept his child as part of your life now… If it’s meant to be once your mental health is better you could try again… But he obviously wants a family and you want the exact opposite… It’s just going to build resentment all round.
Sounds like you may have gone from 1 toxic relationship to another.
He should try and accomodate your feelings. You’ve already stated that you’ll go somewhere else while he has his child and the fact that he chooses not to see her and then blames you, sounds like emotional abuse.
As bad as it sounds you may be better off on the streets then living with a partner like that.
Honey you need to get some therapy and you probably need to be single for a while too. But if you have no family and friends being alone would be rough when your struggling mentally. But definitely get into therapy, 
Get you some help before you fuck that man and his child up. Admitting to being selfish, i dont think you should be in a relationship
Have you talked to a therapist
You know yourself and who you are. Try to get into see a therapist or maybe a miscarriage support group(they have them here on FB). Be aware that just because this guy “saved” you from one shit situation doesn’t mean this isn’t another shit situation. Him not respecting your boundaries and feelings is a red flag. I would say focus on yourself, get your shit together and then decide if this relationship is what you want.
Don’t get pregnant by him bro I’m telling you…. My best advice to to see a therapist (professional) they will guide you in the right direction. 
much love and condolences on your loss.
Definitely seek help but at your own pace. This isnt a race. I am proud of your self control to do things as your comfortable.
In my opinion that you asked for… You just got out of a bad immature relationship and you desperately need someone who listens and the last thing you need is another baby in your belly… firstly, your body isn’t ready yet… secondly, you just met this guy… thirdly, he doesn’t respect your direct, clear, mature responses to life long commitments. He is probably a good person and thinks another baby with a good guy will help you cope with shit but he isn’t a professional and mental health isn’t as easy as slap a coat of glue on it… you have deep rooted damage that you know isn’t who you are.
I am a mother of a 4yo and she would not judge or think harshly on someone who wants a large or small part of her life. She just wants someone to play with her and so distancing yourself is fine but also you might as well engage since you already love her. It won’t ever stop once you love an innocent child. I mean it would help some of the disagreements… the child will think of you fondly whether you stay or go… play for hours or 20mins… but if I were to ever be with someone new then yea they would have to commit time to her… show me they aren’t crazy around her or other kids.
The relationship is still new. You should not have moved in yet, especially going thru so much emotionally. You don’t want or are not ready for kids you absolutely should not be dating or live with a father. If he is trying to pressure you about his kid and having another kid then you guys do not want the same things. You need time to process and heal. I strongly suggest leaving the relationship to do that.
Why would you get involved with a father?!?!! You need to be alone, get counseling for depression/mental health issue and then get involved in a relationship!
Grief counseling. And momma, hugs. You aren’t alone. There are support groups that can help you. You aren’t wrong. Your body needs to heal, your mind needs to heal. Not just from the baby but from your previous relationship. Birth control and grief counseling. Hugs momma.
So he was going to be a part of your baby’s life it it had survived but you don’t want to be part of his little girl .you sound like you need space to get over the trauma you have gone through recently .it’s not fear that he can’t bring his little girl to his home
I recommend getting a therapist to help you navigate through all of your feeling. I am truly sorry for your loss.
No. 3 months together and him trying to tell you he wants a kid is too much. This all seems like the beginning of something horrible
Im so sorry for your loss.
Seems like you were and still not ready to be in a relationship, what you think is LOVE is probably gratitude because he practically saved you from your toxic relationship with your ex .
When you accept to be in a relationship with someone with kids you are also accepting to be a part of their kids life.
I can see both parts of the situation,you definitely should be alone for a while to grieve properly from your loss.
You definitely should get help , staying in a mental facility can and will definitely help you with all your emotions, your grieving and any hormonal imbalances you might have, do not be scare of asking for help.
You have to take time for yourself .
You need to let him go so he can find someone that is fully in it for him and his daughter. You are grieving an therefore should not be in a relationship right now. Grieve the loss of your child and focus on you.
You definitely need counseling. You can’t tell a man that you live with not to be around his child because you’re having issues.
Y’all rushed The Who relationship
If you can’t love his child or show his child you are there for them
Then leave
I get it you lost your baby
But obviously you aren’t ready to have a kids or a relationship with someone who has kids
Don’t have him chose you over his kid
You were just sad and wanted someone to give you comfort but you’re accepting it in the wrong way. You were traumatized so you’re accepting things you really shouldn’t allow into your life. You stated you know that you have a lot of healing to do, so you should do that and focus on yourself rather than a relationship with this guy, because it is only a distraction to hinder your journey of healing. You need to fix you before trying to fix a new relationship. And I think you’re kind of desperate for attention right now because of the depression you’re feeling so you’re allowing this toxic guy to be in your life, he is toxic. You need to save some money and get your own place and be on your own until you’re in a better mental state because your standards are out of whack at the moment. If you don’t want a kid right now then you definitely shouldn’t be with someone who already has a child, especially if you feel his child is being forced on you.
Only 3 months? That’s very fast for 3 months…. Please tread lightly.
You need to be on your own alone, to figure you out. If your able to, get your own apartment and do you. Your soul is craving it and your pushing it under the rug, stop that please. Until you do that for yourself and mental health… you’llstay in this situation. You can have your boyfriend in your life and not live together. It’s worth it to you and others to find YOU 
Have you tried outpatient services in your area maybe getting into therapy/needed meds and stabilizing yourself mentally would be a good step, ask him for time in the meantime to get you in check, then ask if you can revisit his kid/ you having kids later once you know how you’re able to deal with what’s going on mentally
You already know what to do .you already admitted to not wanting children and being selfish and the only reason you haven’t left is because you and your dog don’t have a place to go to .losing a child is devastating no matter what. But he has a child and she needs her Father.you clearly are never going to be a part of that .so its time to figure things out .get out on your own .get some counseling and maybe figure out a means for birth control since you said you don’t want children. Or I see this whole scenario happening all over again. Good luck .
Get mental help. Fuck them. They will be fine. Worry about YOU!! I have suffered two miscarriages and then went straight into a four year relationship after with a man who had a daughter. I still consider her mine bc her mother is piece of crap but GET OUT WHILE U CAN
Talk therapy may be an option for you. It may help you learn how to grieve properly and find yourself again. You can’t take care of someone else if you don’t take care of yourself. Explain this to him and he should understand. You should also understand that no one else knows your pain. We all feel and deal differently. But you can’t keep his child away in the mean time. Get help and get better. There’s no shame in doing so. Just try not to make everyone around you pause their life until you receive it. Start asap.
Get therapy if you can. You are struggling mentally,this will help. Hope you feel better<3
Im so sorry for your loss.
Seems like you were and still not ready to be in a relationship, what you think is LOVE is probably gratitude because he practically saved you from your toxic relationship with your ex .
When you accept to be in a relationship with someone with kids you are also accepting to be a part of their kids life.
I can see both parts of the situation,you definitely should be alone for a while to grieve properly from your loss.
You definitely should get help , staying in a mental facility can and will definitely help you with all your emotions, your grieving and any hormonal imbalances you might have, do not be scare of asking for help.
You have to take time for yourself .
Sounds like you arent ready for the commitment you made. Therapy is needed. Maybe gain your independence
You need time to heal and grieve and do you. Step away focus on you for now.
Therapy, but if he can’t help you. You need to take care of yourself. First.
Suck it up Buttercup, hes got a child already and he needs you to get effing real. So either get with a program or leave. Play your cards right, maybe you two will have more of your own. You sound batsh*t crazy and its no big loss to them if you leave now. I hope you don’t, and work it out, just stop with the psycho-babble you’re going on about.
I would try going to a grief counselor I just lost my baby at 25 weeks and am waiting for my first appointment. There are also a lot of support groups you can join that will help immensely even on Facebook you can send me a pm if you ever need anyone to talk to
What you are feeling is very understandable! And your feelings aren’t wrong . It is not up to him to make your choice for you . If you don’t wanna be around the child than don’t be around her , come around WHEN YOU ARE READY . On the other hand maybe Love isn’t enough , sometimes it never will be . Find a man without kids and the same goals as you . Kinda sounds like he wants you to play house with his rules
You need to be alone
Sounds like y’all need to break up and you need to move out. Try therapy and shelters to help find a place.
Go get you some help then focus on y’all if that is what you won’t
I’m sorry your feeling this way
Maybe a good thing to admit yourself to a mental health unit
Although I’m trying to work out why you rushed in to a relationship with a guy who has a child
In the first place
If you don’t like or want kids
Its best for you to walk away from him and his child
Before they get to invested into this relationship
Best advice I can give you
Is NEVER come between a parent and a child
As you won’t win
You need to heal yourself before you can have a relationship.
If he doesn’t understand you need to move on because your health is the most important thing
Sometimes it is best to leave and heal yourself than to stay with someone who doesn’t get it and grow resentful.
It’s been 3 months and you’ve just had a loss and he’s pressuring you for a baby? Nah
Run
Don’t let this sound like a douche response but if you’re selfish with your time unsure if your ready or want kids etc. I’m basing this off your wording .
Than my personal on-line opinion is don’t date someone who 1 has a kid and 2 is pressuring you to have another.
You said it best.
Be alone and don’t be selfish being with him and neglecting his child. Your mental health comes first ! Don’t be selfish either girl!!! You don’t die with money. It’s not all about YOU! You’re bogus in my opinion. Go get yourself real help fast
Be alone and don’t be selfish being with him and neglecting his child. Your mental health comes first ! Don’t be selfish either girl!!! You don’t die with money. It’s not all about YOU! You’re bogus in my opinion. Go get yourself real help fast
You lost your baby and you may also have post partum depression. You would need to go to counseling and also tell your doctor. Maybe he can give you medicine to kind of help you stabilize. The relationship with your boyfriend is too soon specially with a child. Find yourself and start counseling. Good luck. Post partum depression can be dangerous if you don’t get help.
Locate the crisis hotline , you have truly expressed your feelings , and they can set you up with some resources , guidance, and shelter. We as women support you .
You have to talk honestly and calmly with him about what you are feeling. Ask him to help you with finding a place of your own. No hard feelings, don’t end anything on a bad note.
Girl, 3 months together is literally a trial period. He was a supportive person momentarily to fill a void. He served his purpose, but it’s time to move on and heal. He seems a bit toxic too if he’s throwing fits & pressuring you to get pregnant again so soon into your relationship as well as after your loss. LOTS of red flags… find your dog a good home or temp foster, yourself a therapist & a womens shelter or room to rent and go get yourself together on your own. You deserve it. 
Why would you date him in the first place then? Move on with your life.
Get help! Recognizing that you need it and willing to accept it… that’s huge! You deserve to heal because enough will be unintentionally a “monster” to everyone around YOU! Choose yourself!
Im just gonna say you probably shouldnt of gotten with someone with a kid. Just?being honest. I get your dealing with mental health issues ans you should see someone foe that but evwn though you say you love her you also say your not ready for kids
Maybe you were meant to sort yourself out before another relationship … ONE cant be selfish in relationships as its a sharing an caring commitement … Take Care …
You should not need to explain yourself you have already made it clear and he is just not respecting you or your mental health or the relationship. If this is what it is like 3 months in imagine how much worse it’s going to get after you have been there longer. Don’t get trapped I’m not saying don’t see him anymore but I think living together is not a good idea
Why are you with someone that has a kid if you know you’re selfish and don’t want any?
You need to focus on yourself and being single
I’d leave sis. If a man truly cared about you, he’d be patient enough until you’re ready to meet his kid and not pressure you into doing anything that you don’t want to do
He’s not your person x
Go get a hotel on the weekends. I’m sorry for your loss. Frontline understand the mental issues.!! You got this mamma. Do what’s best for your mentally. Is never easy losing a child.
Mmm my condolences. Facing such loss is an incredibly hard thing to cope. Don’t blame yourself cause you didn’t know. It’s very common that a miscarriage occurs and unclear as to why. It’s good that you established that you need healing, require space, being around kids at the moment is a huge no-no. It’s okay. Take your time and seek a grief group who can help you work through this process. You know the little one isn’t at fault and doesn’t know why you feeling out of sorts. Also… you’ll need to have a private conversation with your boyfriend about what battle you have going on inside. Men don’t exactly know how to read body language so make it clear. Call tomorrow or a family doctor. Try to
You need to be on your own to heal properly. You are not being fair in this relationship . Also the relationship has moved too fast and you have hardly had time to get to know yourself . What if you accidently fall pregnant again while you are in this bad place emotionally. Learn to love yourself and learn to deal with your own issues first before beginning a relationship.
Get out of this relationship. Fix yourself and be single until you can handle someone that has children.
Luv you need to contact a crisis hotline until you can get some counseling for yourself, I can’t even imagine the pain you have right now. As for him if you don’t feel like using your voice is getting in his brain, write him a letter.
- You are experiencing a loss. A trauma. You need to HEAL. Work through this. It’s not something you can just drop and be like “I’m good…next!” 2. By the sounds of it, you moved in WAY too soon. You didn’t have time to work things through. 3. For his sake, and that of his daughter’s, I’d you aren’t ready, you need to let him go. It is not fair to him or her. If you aren’t ready for children, he can’t force that upon you. You’ll just end up resenting him and it will not be a fun situation in the long run.
Depression is real and not something people understand until it’s too late
You need lots of alone time " far too soon to even think of a baby " go away for a break "
You need to end things with him asap. You want to go slow and he keeps pushing for more and for it to happen faster. You have to be the one to say no. He doesn’t sound like the right person for you right now. Just end it for your own mental health and work on yourself before another relationship.
You do not need to be in a relationship with anyone, let alone someone with a kid. What a selfish pr.i.ck he is for chosing u over his own daughter. Leave him alone bc that child does not deserve to be mistreated bc youll wanted to rush into a relationship. Go check yourself into the psych ward bc it sounds like ur really struggling, in general. Then get outpatient therapy. Stay in it and do not date again until u are fully healed.
No advise really ,but save money away so if it comes to a head you will have some money put away for somewhere to stay x
One you don’t jump from relationship to relationship. Definitely not when your pregnant. (Sorry about your loss, wish I could say it gets easier but it doesn’t)but Your unhappy with yourself, being with someone can not make u happy or complete. You need to find yourself accept what has happened, grieve. Stop trying to find someone to be in your life. Be on your own for a long while.
There are child loss groups on fb as well support groups for depression.
It worth looking into. When my son died I joined a couple. I didn’t post anything for like 6 months. I just read what others were going through and how they were dealing with it.
It helped me tremendously just knowing someone else has been through the same things. I would consider checking into a place that has inpatient center. It will get u away from him for a while, so u can work on you and u wont be on the streets
Seek grief counseling, get on antidepressants, and don’t put so much pressure on yourself. I’m so sorry for your loss. 
I agree hormones playing a big part. You are also grieving a lost child. You need some breathing space for a little while. Things moved far too quickly for you. Straight into another relationship then living together etc. It was too soon. However you guys did it and your lives are interconnected now. It could still work out. You are not selfish as you have brought the child presents and are mindful of her feelings. You do need to prioritise yourself though. You are too hard on yourself. Firstly you need to allow yourself to grieve without feeling guilty. Secondly it’s too soon to think of more babies. Thirdly you are not being harsh on the child as you also need time with your partner to spoil and enjoy each other. Maybe one Eve a week for date night would help. Doesn’t have to be expensive. A picnic or a pampering night together at home between child visits. Be kind to yourself and him. I think he s trying but doesn’t fully understand the grieving process and is trying to rush you into things. I do think he cares for you and was prepared to being up another’s child so that’s positive. You two need to really talk and explain both sides. More time more communication. If you feel overwhelmed during the daughters visits then give them Daddy daughter time and take yourself off for a few hours. Then return and all do fun stuff together. You are all under some stress but it doesn’t have to be hopeless. Good luck.x
I lost my daughter which would be 4 years ago in May … Ik the losses are different but the pain isn’t! If u need someone to talk u can message me. I’m in therapy and have been for 4 years now and I’m pregnant with my rainbow baby! My boyfriend has been there through it all yes he may not understand all the time and he does let me go thru my emotions but u need the mental support that a therapist can give u! Like I said feel free to message me and we can talk more
If you want a friend to talk to you can hit me up anytime. I know it’s not the same as having a friend you can get together with but I’m a good listener and can at least give you an ear to vent to and some feedback and support. If he isn’t really listening and won’t do what you ask and you’ve said it several times over then I really think you should leave him which means working getting your own place lined up as soon as you can.
You really need counseling and maybe to seek medical attention. You may have to break away from him to focus on your mental health. I know its hard!! But your mental health is very important. I would hate for a negative outcome because you just weren’t mentally ready. He maybe a great guy but maybe the timing for you could be off.
If you need someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out. I may not be a professional, but I’m a good listener and can give advice when needed. Sounds like you really need to talk it through until you find your peace. I’m sure its an extremely difficult position to be in, especially with a man who doesn’t even try to understand. Best wishes to you 
In my opinion yes he has been there for you through some really shit times which I resonate with and am so sorry you had to go through it and that’s very nice of him etc but he isn’t respecting your boundaries when it comes to your feelings regarding his kid and future kids so I would walk away fully. Maybe revisit coming back when you’re fully healed and ready and he might of changed too but for now respect yourself like you are and keep going. You’ll get through this 
Grief canceling. And find a way to save money and hide it
I think admitting yourself into a unit would be a huge help for you right now. Not that you’re crazy, just so you get that support you’re craving. Having some much needed time away to start the healing process and get back on track. You need time to figure out who you are and what you want. I think it would be best to sit your partner down and talk to him about your plan and that you do not expect him to wait around. In fact encourage him to look for a woman who is ready and able for what him and his daughter need. You need to focus on yourself. I really do hope you get the help you need and start to feel secure in life. You deserve it x
If he loves u he would understand and stop being a big baby.
I’m so so sorry for your losses but definitely seek therapy and see a physciatrist for meds they can prescribe you an antidepressant and whatever else that you may need sending lots of love and hugs your way
Honestly it doesn’t sound like you’re mentally ready to be in a relationship currently. Especially with a single father. And I know you said you explained your thoughts and feelings about his daughter and children in general to him, but people tend to believe they are the exception to rules like this and if you care enough, you’ll chance your mind. I honestly think you need to end things and get some counseling and maybe some antidepressants. Take some time and get yourself to a good place before getting into another relationship.
You need to find a therapist you like and trust and start seeing them. They will know if you need to be admitted to a mental health center
Together 3 months and you feel like you and your dog would be on the streets? Baby, you’re 22. At 22 I thought I would be lost without my toxic ex too but getting out and having you’re own space is the best thing you could possibly do. 3 months and he’s crying and throwing fits, sounds like another toxic relationship to me. Don’t let him control your life or what’s best for your mental health. Don’t let anyone for that matter. You shouldn’t need tips for explaining. If he doesn’t understand that you need time to be yourself and feel better then he just ain’t the one for you, boo. Start looking into single household/low income benefit options or city unions that can help as far as getting your own place. Bit sure where you’re from but there have been a lot of union groups that have been working to protect single renters from the ridiculous monthly amounts. Just a matter of taking the time and doing some digging. And again, if he has a problem with this then it’s probably best that you get you’re own place.