Am I obligated to dress my daughter in clothes given by grandma?

She should be considerate and ask what’s needed. My family always asks first what’s needed and if nothing is needed they get my girls what they want my girls to have (and always give gift receipts incase things don’t fit or I don’t like it so I get them something else). Seems like your mil is super sensitive and like your husband needs a backbone. Sorry, I know it sounds harsh. I would just start asking asking her for things you need…your baby needs pj’s? “Hey grams christmas is coming and baby girl could really use some cute pj from her memmaw”

My grandmother is the same way. It brings her great joy to see my daughter in the beautiful clothes she thoughtfully picked out, and I’m happy to oblige. I would never return a gift for any reason except needing the same item in a different size.

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Genuinely can’t believe half of the comments I’ve read. You don’t have to dress your daughter up in dresses to impress her grandma just because she bought them… what a load of rubbish. I’ve returned many clothes bought for my kids by other people if they don’t fit or the boys don’t like them and I’ve exchanged for other items x

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Guilt baiting and passive-aggressive. It isn’t like you never put the clothes on your daughter that grandma bought. She is using the pj’s as an excuse to punish you and your husband bought into it. The dresses were not a gift but a method to control. I’m a grandma and I try to get gifts that they (grandkids) either need or will enjoy. What’s the point of a gift if it is used to control or use for guilt baiting?

I don’t care who it is, I’m not about to stress myself out because of some dumb made up rule about wearing clothes that were gifts. It’s my kid at the end of the day, she’ll wear whatever is necessary. As far as hubby goes, when you marry, that is your family. He should be backing you up. His mother needs to respect boundaries and be a little more understanding as what a gift actually is. Otherwise she can keep her sxxt to herself. :tipping_hand_woman:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:

You foul and you know it if she the type I’m sure she would’ve came off cash to get her what she needed at the time just spiteful for what be happy she is apart of her life and help providing I swear people are ungrateful you clearly state she buys high end stuff if she so desperately in need returning something for cash why when you can ask to borrow or vent and tell her your daughter ran out of pjs and you couldn’t afford any but returning a gift lol but you knew that already

How do you have time to keep up with what clothes came from where??? They should be happy that they even have clothes on. I let my kids pick out and wear what they want and darn sure ain’t going to worry myself with who bought it. Thanks for buying the clothes we greatly appreciate them and they wanted to be SpongeBob today so SpongeBob is who you get, maybe next time you will get to see them in the stuff you bought if that’s what they pick out.

I’m a grandma and I don’t think you’re in the wrong at all. You tried and you DID dress her in the clothes grandma bought, so Grandma has a problem not you honey. I would let my grandkids pick their own clothes :blush: it was so much fun to take them shopping and watch them pick out what they wanted. Sometimes it was “FUNNY” and like you said, your little one “Needed” pajamas.

Wowwww, if i was to buy my granddaughter clothes as a gift then it be mums/childs choice as to weather they wear them or not, i would always provide the receipt incase they wanted/needed to return the item for any reason, definately no offence would be taken, but then again not all granny’s are the same but thats 100% what i would do anyway, not all children have the same taste as us granny’s lol :slightly_smiling_face:

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Ok. You are not wrong about a gift being a gift. However the gift was not for you now was it? It was for your daughter. She’s only 5 so not really old enough to be deciding to return or exchange gifts. I don’t know how you don’t see that returning party dresses wasn’t basically a slap in the face. Of course grandma’s feelings were hurt. How would you feel? If the girl needed pajamas I’m sure all you had to do was suggest that within earshot of grandma and the girl would have had new pajamas before the week was out. Did you even ask grandma if she would mind if you return the dresses? Personally, I have 3 granddaughters and I couldn’t see me being terribly upset about something like that. (I also couldn’t imagine either of my daughter in laws ever doing a thing like that). Basically, I think you really do owe your mother in law an apology. If you are sincere about wanting to repair the relationship you should start there. By accepting that what you did was wrong.

That woman needs to grow up, as a grandparent myself I buy gifts my grand daughter wants or needs be pj’s or snacks or shoes or just toys the child’s needs come first not mine

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Honestly I’d look at grandma and tell her to stop being a sensitive witch, and that while the clothes are appreciated maybe some that are more appropriate for a child to play or sleep in are more acceptable. As well as remind her that your daughter is not her toy to dress up as she pleases and can wear clothes that others have given her. That you’ve given enough of what she wants, but the one time you put a need of your daughters before her own desire ruined that. And if good ol’ hubby tried to defend mommy, tell him to go sleep in the dog house or sleep at mommy’s place.

I know not all grandmas are the same, but in most gift giving the ones I know leave the strings unattached and even provide a receipt just in case the gift needs returning or the child needs something else.

I think its all stupid. If grandma buyes chocolates. Does she want to see them eating them

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Grandma should buy her gifts out of love or if she needs something you can’t provide. And if she didn’t need what was gifted I think it’s fine to have returned it. I don’t think it’s fair for your MIL to call you a nasty person for better filling your daughters needs. A fancy dress for a 5 year old is impractical. They will wear it once and ruin it. Or grow out of it. She seems to want to control you because she can control your husband. Speak up for yourself mama. It’s your daughter and you did nothing wrong.

Ugh I went through that with my mil as well. I told her to keep the expensive crap at her house and if she wore em she wore em and if not oh well her money wasted. Theres never any pleasing everyone at once. Little ones are too messy for fancy clothes anyway.

As a grandma I buy my grandkids lots of stuff but once I give them they can do what they want with them. I always save the receipt so if it doesn’t fit they can change it or buy something else it’s OK. It is also nice to see them use the stuff but it is theirs to do what they want with it.

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My daughter doesn’t receive gifts from Dad’s family. Only when she was 5 months. I took pictures with them clothes and sent them. That’s it. Now thank God I don’t have a relationship with the mother in law because she choose to. I don’t mind either. I’m happy the way it is.

It doesn’t interfere with me and hubby. He doesn’t talk to me about his mom and I don’t mention her for nothing.

This shows the character of your MIL… The fact that your relationship is so heavily weighted on the clothes you put on your daughter blows my mind. At least she’s not naked? I wouldn’t be offended by her keeping things at her house that she wants to see the child in, that’s her choice and yeah it’s petty but whatever. Your daughter can get excited about dressing up at grandmas. :woman_shrugging:t3: My advice after hearing you are a first time mom - this is insignificant and the important thing is your child. Keep your head in the game and remember the things that matter. Ask hubby to support your side not his mom’s. This is the bigger issue to me. Your daughter will grow up knowing the tension and hearing the gossip on both sides, don’t out her through that. My mom did that to me. Don’t do it.

Nah. There’s abunch that I got from family for my first kid that she never wore. Tags on them and all still 2+ years later. And they haven’t seen my middle enough to get anything. And just had my third :joy:
If they nasty about it I wouldn’t be talking to them anymore let alone bringing my kid(s) to visit. But with your husband that’s probably difficult. But he should also be with you on the issue. Not his mother. Nothing should be “expected”, especially the clothes a child wears to see them.

There are so many entitled grandmother’s in this thread its pathetic…

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You’re the mother=you’re the boss.

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Omg I can’t believe this is even an issue!!!

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If my child was in desperate need of somthi g and I could take back other clothes she didn’t need you bet your a** I’d have done the same thing. And anyone that doesn’t think like that doesn’t have the child’s vest interest at heart they are just doing it for show

Get with reality grandma. If you give clothes as a gift and the child will never wear them then it’s the parents choice what to do with said items. Maybe in this case you should have pulled grandma aside and said “my daughter will never have an occasion to wear such a fancy dress. She needs winter PJs is it ok if I exchange them?” It’s not ok for her to bad mouth you. You’re still the mother of her granddaughter and don’t deserve that. For your husband not to stand up for you is inexcusable. My boyfriend’s mom and I had a falling out awhile back and he stood by my side. He backed me up and we’re not even married. We live together now and there’s talk of marriage, his mom and I are now on good terms and even love each other. Your husband sound like a spineless Mama’s boy.

Dress YOUR child in whatever you or the child wants. You’re not obligated to dress her in clothes the grandma gave as gifts. And that’s that. Ppl always trying to control what they have no business in.

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I have 15 grandchildren. I’d to see the kids in the clothes I bought, but if it wrong size or something they wont wear . Well tell me then just show me what they exchanged it for that’s all. ! I don’t care if they bought a toy.

Grandmothers should be asking What does the child need. That way you provide practical gifts for the child and the family’s lifestyle. Buying frilly dresses that they won’t use is a waste of time and money. Most activities nowadays (church, weddings etc.)are casual events for children and adults. You are required to get gussied up less frequently. Grandma being snide and offensive is a control tactic. Sadly many grandparents try to impose their will on DILs. Grandma is creating an unnecessary problem. You’re looking for a solution. Talk to her. See if you can reach an understanding. Best of luck.

I feel like grandma is being over the top and also jealous of other grandma for no reason. My in-laws send my kids clothes all the time and in different sizes for different seasons all at once. Some clothes never get worn just because they aren’t weather permitting, its too big still or its too small by the time it is weather permitting (so I donate if that happens). I have never had them ask why their grand children haven’t worn something they sent and they constantly ask if the kids need anything. My mother-in-law has even told me if something doesn’t fit, to return for better size or something else. I really think you are doing the best you can and she is being difficult. Honesty its just material and as long as your kid has a relationship with her grandparents, I’d say you’re doing great!!!

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If anyone bought my kids clothes I didn’t like I gave them back and said thanks but it’s not my style. As much as I appreciate it I’m very particular about how I dressed my kids until they developed their own style. I would rather someone tell me if I bought their kids something they don’t like rather than keep it and not get any use from it. Not only is it a waste of money but I’m gonna continue to buy things like that so honesty is always best.

Send grandma a picture

Its not grandmas responsibility to buy her what she NEEDS. That’s on the parents. But if yall can’t afford it then mention that she would appreciate some pjs bc she has enough dress clothes. Either way be grateful for what she does do. & if baby girl has to go to grannies looking like a Disney princess then so be it. I mean is it really that big of a deal? Just like grandma shouldn’t be offended neither should you. My sons grandma always tried to literally kill him the 3 times(almost succeeded once) she was around him so count your blessings. Yall both are making this into a big deal. I wouldn’t be offended if You traded in a gift but not everyone is the same. You might have to be the bigger person & just dress her in those dresses. Talk to her about it, apologize for accidentally offending her & explain she needed pjs & let it go. If she decides to forgive, cool. If not, don’t kiss her a$$ either lol. &have a discussion w/hubby too. Weather you’re wrong or not, that needs to be discussed behind closed doors bc that might be what’s fueling this childish behavior on the mother in laws part. At the end of the day, DO YOU. That might have grandma in the pic & it might be time to cut toxic ties. Hope it works for you.

Your husband needs to defend you.

My mother has told me if she got the kids something that they didn’t need, to go ahead and return it and get what they need because I’m a way she still got it for them. She loves seeing the kids in stuff she picked, but she loves it even more when she sees the kids have what they need

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I’m not a grandmother but here is my opinion. I also have a husband that chooses his family over me and doesn’t stand up for me and it hurts. My family is forgiving his isn’t. So with that being said know that mean people exist and you just do you and forget them. I however think it’s fun for a grandparent to buy things for their grand babies and it’s nice to have someone buy something for them showing they want to be involved (my husbands mother and grandmother pretends my baby isn’t his cause they hate me. There was one time they did buy him a pillow of Mickey Mouse when we came to visit and I took a picture of him laying on the pillow. Sent it with an awwwwww he loves it. I understand returning things that don’t fit but if they were too big I might stash them away. And simply take a picture of the baby in the outfit and send them a picture showing them your thankful. By returning the item it made her feel unappreciated and hurt. So I can see her response as appropriate to buy outfits and keep them at her house. However maybe the next time she does send a gift present you child loving the new gift in a simple photo. I think she is just trying to be a good grandma. Some kids aren’t so lucky to have that. It’s just an uncomfortable situation. Maybe just reach out and if she is rude then be done.

I am so sorry to hear that you are even put in this situation. There’s nothing wrong with what you did returning the dresses for something she really needed. A Grandmother should be happy that she was able to provide a way for you to get her some jammies. What’s she’s doing is controlling. Don’t feel bad mama, you didn’t take em back out of spite, or to be selfish or cause you didn’t like the dresses. You did what any good mom would do…

You should have talk to her about the pj’s before you returned the dresses out of respect. Maybe she could of bought her some and helped out. Everyone makes mistakes. Apologize and move on. Let her know you will let the child wear them and that you didn’t know.if she can’t let it go that’s on her. Your husband should be backing you up and telling his mom that you didn’t know and to let it go. He needs to tell her it won’t happen again. No need for it to get nasty. If it don’t stop just don’t go over there anymore. You can even try writing her an apology letter of she won’t listen.

Grandma is immature as fuck. Dad is just as stupid for not defending you. Dress your kids how you see fit but in no way shape or form does she have the right to call you names or disrespect you. I wouldn’t even talk to her anymore if I were you. Let’s normalize cutting off toxic people no matter who they are.

Take a picture of your daughter in the dresses and send them to grandma.

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You need a new husband because a real one would have a real spine and defend you against his mother! A gift is a gift she has no control over it once she gives it. Shes being a controlling bi*#h! You need to tell your spineless husband that he needs to pull his head out of mommy’s butt and be a man because you’re not going to stand for the abuse shes giving you. 1 you stand your ground tell him grow up or you’re done with him. 2 find your spine tell the old woman if her behavior doesn’t stop you’ll go NC (no contact) until it does that means no seeing the child or you. Good luck you just need to set boundaries and stick with them. Your mental health and your child’s is worth more than her. I imagine your child is picking up on alot of things and God knows what shes telling your child when you’re not around.

Why does every body put there business on Facebook aren’t you worried what kind of problems that can cause lol

OK but what’s wrong with your kiddressing fancy let her dress fancy because it’s fun to do that as a child also if she needs pajamas that’s kind of your job as her parent to provide them not replace a gift with them because you can’t provide them yourself for some reason.

As a Mimi lol I buy clothes for them yes it’s nice to see them in them but I would NEVER expect to see them every time they are around me! Just as long as they do wear them is all I care about!

I am a young Grandma and I would never take offense to you returning the dress for what you needed. However, In my Opinion different Generations might see things differently. If my Mother who is the great-granny bought her a dress then we would put it on and take her all Fancy to her house. It would make her happy and she would feel as if her gift was appreciated … I do think that unfortunately you have bigger issues here. # 1. Your MIL calling you names and having issues with your Mothers Gift is a problem. She appears to me to be Angry, Controlling, and out of place. # 2. Your Husband who doesn’t support you. The most important question here is What DO YOU want and would like to accomplish? You want a relationship with MIL? Talk to her, be respectful but Honest, Firm, and set boundaries. You want your husband’s support? Talk to him and tell him how you feel, and what your expectations are for all of you as a family. Then you decide what you will do if you can’t reach what you set out to accomplish. Most importantly I try to remember that I can’t Control anyone’s behavior, but I can control how I let it affect me and how I will handle it. Again this is Just My Opinion. Mildred C Jones Walker Am I way off? :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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I have 4 granddaughters. They are grown now but when they were in school I asked their mothers what to buy for them as they knew best. Grandma needs a time out in the corner. Husband needs to see a counselor to get mommies issues under control. Daughter in law should do what’s best for the little girl.

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Both my mom and mother in law ASK what do they need or THEY KNOW because they ARE BOTH SO INVOLVED!!! Getting Easter dresses all the time is a WASTE!!! What in the world?? If the kids need pajamas then taking A DRESS BACK FOR NEEDED PAJAMAS should be WELCOMED by a grandma that LOVES her Grandchildren! She would want what’s best not think of herself wanting to see the kids in clothes she bought…. That is sick! This post and these comments have made me SOOOOOO THANKFUL even though I already was) for my mom and mother-in-law/Best Friend.

I think returning the clothes for pajamas was rude. & I don’t see anything wrong with grandma buying clothes & keeping them at her house for when baby visits.
Other than that I think the whole thing is petty.
My mom buys my 5 y/o all types of clothes, pjs, toys etc.
She see’s her wearing and using them because she visits her every single day. I don’t have to worry about when to put things on her. I know she’ll see it at some point because grandma is always around.
She also keeps somethings at her house because she takes my daughter to her house regularly on weekends. So, it’s nice to have things there.
I think if grandma is soooo worried about seeing baby in the clothes then she should go get her & dress her up. Spend time with her more often then seeing her in the things she buys won’t be such a hassle

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Wow. Thats not ok… gift are supposed to be that a gift… nothing more… im sorry but u should stand up for urself and ur daughter… don’t let her use u or ur child like that… good luck momma…

Well if your daughter is like my granddaughters they don’t wear clothes I buy. What they think is cute I don’t.

So now I take them shopping.

I would hate to be married to her :woozy_face:

I’m a grandma and greatgrandma. I always ask the mom, what do they need. That way everyone can be happy.

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You’re acting like a spoilt brat :exploding_head::exploding_head::rofl::rofl:

I buy my 99% of my grandkids clothes! My son is a single parent and even when he was married l still did it! His father and l are asking for nothing in return! When we see something we like or on sale and if we have the money we buy it! It is from the kindness of our heart :heart:!

Talk to her in a non confrontational manner- she is a mother she knows

I don’t think there was anything wrong with returning - if it was my man or mother in law they would understand that if I hadn’t returned it would have been a waste if it just sat in wardrobe as too ‘fancy’ to wear day to day.

Maybe instead of just buying she should ask first what your daughter needs or if she has seen anything she likes.

Defo though wear clothes they buy when they go see them win win keeps everyone happy but do not feel bad for doing what was right for your child at the time x

I would NEVER have returned them.seems like the issue here.my MIL and my grandma all buy my kids clothes.they always wear what they buy them to see them .now…
POV: I sew.i make all my children’s clothes.so I know what clothes are from grandma’s.if I needed PJs I would have made them or bought them PJs.i would’ve just put them in the dress even if it’s “impractical”.but also…POV: I’m a mom that takes daily photos of her kids and post them on social media looking A1.

My mil and grandma still buy them clothes but my grandma still talks.i put them in an outfit she bought them last time I saw them minus a shirt my sister in law bought my eldest and she was like.“you didn’t dress them up today,I don’t think it’s that important?it’s your dad’s birthday it is important”…she gifted me fancy dresses wrong size though.so I have them in the closet until my younger 2 kids fit them.i just took the comment and it was just a reminder of why I don’t go to her house unless I need to

Try what I did. Put the correct size and season clothes for your child and let them choose there outfit. If its a fancy dress , then so be it, if its a ninja costume, hey my kid looks cool for today. Great option either way. The option is for your child to choose what they wear and express themselves. If Grandma gets upset because a ninja costume is worn during a visit. Its on grandma. Let your kid be themself, happiness is the key.

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I am also a first time mom and my mother in law and babys dad are VERY close
But honestly she buys stuff either wayyyyyy too big for my son or wayyy to small or that say tacky things like “Grandma is just a second mom that always says yes” and I just don’t dress him in that stuff :woman_shrugging: I haven’t returned anything but I either sell it or give it away I don’t tell her or my baby’s father if they ask I just tell them disregarding their comments I am his mom and ill decide what he needs to wear im not gonna put him in 3yr old clothing when my baby is 1yr old just because my mother in law said/bought it for my son its the baby first not anyone else or their feelings sorry not sorry :tipping_hand_woman:

It’s nice to see them in it, but I don’t think it’s a requirement every visit OR required to over dress them for visits.

Maybe the next time she buys the really nice dresses your daughter will likely never wear before growing out of them, dress her up and take pictures. You can do this at home or at a photo studio. That way grandma gets to see her in them, but you’re not obligated to dress daughter up for a special occasion every time she visits.

Hopefully Grandma will stick to more basic or commonly used threads so she can wear those whole visiting.

You got that right…isnt it really about making the child happy…when I was a child I acted like one but now that I am grown up there are much more other things to worry about…grow up grandma…

Tell her to grow up and gifts are gifts. You can do as you please. It’s never going to be correct because your husband allows it.

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My baby girl is 1 and when she was born and Xmas and birthday she got loads of clothes etc from different people and off my own back I would put her In what they bought, nothing was said that I had to etc, and sometimes she just had on whatever and was never an issue, and returning them I would have done the same but would have maybe said before hand x

I buy my granddaughter lots of clothes sometimes she only wears them ones because there fit at the time is nice to see her n the clothes but are not obligated to make her wear them :heart:

I’m not a grandmother but TBH it’s tacky as hell to take a gift that someone bought and return it for something else. :woman_shrugging:t4: You’re right, a gift does come from the heart. So why is it that you can’t understand why she would be hurt that you returned her gift for some pajamas?:thinking: But it seems like your problem is solved. She doesn’t send clothes anymore. You make it seem like your MIL is unreasonable so don’t worry about fixing your relationship. Just leave it alone.:woman_shrugging:t4:

You dress them in those clothes to show your appreciation for those gifts. They are just clothes and if it makes a grandma smile so what. Some people aren’t lucky enough to have grandparents. Pick your battles, this is not the one.

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I usually only but what they need and always save the receipt just in case , you have gone above and beyond to please you MIL~ sounds like a very controlling person ~ good luck getting back on her good side!:woman_facepalming::woman_shrugging:

Forget about it and move on its her issue not yours or your child’s. Hubby needs to grow a pair!

Put her in the fancy dresses what is the big deal? Just going to grandma’s house. You let your practical side override your thoughtfulness of dressing your daughter the way the grandma wants. Yes! We buy clothes to see them in the clothes! If they are impractical or not your style, no big deal right now.

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Your mother in law honestly overbearing and controlling. She is actually in the wrong to make this such a huge deal. She needs to learn some boundaries. I would never do this to my son or his wife. I would just be so grateful to see, spend time, and love my grandchildren. Your husband needs to realize he can still be respectful to his mother while also understanding and supporting how his wife feels about it. Good luck mother in laws like that are just too much. It wouldn’t matter if your husband was married to someone else I bet that’s just the way she is. She wants her sons wife to bow down to what she wants.

I’m a grandma of a 4yr old and I’ve bought her clothes since she was a baby and yes I kept clothes at my house for her and still.do.so when she comes over she doesn’t have to bring anything. And it kinda hurts us grandma s feelings when mom’s act like they don’t want what we bought for the child. Sometimes mom’s can be manipulative against us, and not like what we buy so.I don’t blame grandma for not buying anymore clothes for the child…do you take the clothes back that your mom bought. Why do you have a issue with your mother in law clothes she.buys…I think its bigger than the clothes. When I’m out shopping I see things or clothes that are cute and I just want to buy them.for my granddaughter. …no strings are attached for me wanting to see my granddaughter in clothes I bought

Of course grandma rules :grinning:

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You returned a gift for your child because you didn’t want to spend your own money ??

I do buy clothes for the grand-kids—and—I’ve always told them and their mothers , if it doesn’t fit or you don’t like it—exchange it for whatever you want. Once I give them something, it’s theirs to do what they want with it ,

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I buy my grandchildren cloths all the time i live in a diffrent state so i dont see them wear the cloths i buy for them and thats ok I dont expect anything in return but maybe a thank you and thats it.

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Maybe b4 the child’s bday or Christmas make a list of what the child needs with sizes & ask YOUR HUSBAND to pass it along to his mother. That way the child can get what he/she needs but grandma can still choose the style & gift it. But be sure when yall see grandma to make a point to put the child in the outfit. I mean it is the same as if when u buy something u feel is going to look cute on your kiddo, you want to see them in it :slightly_smiling_face:

She sounds like a bitch. It’s your child &what you say goes.

She could buy nothing. Let her wear them around grandma. When She is older she can tell grandma what she wants for her birthday or Christmas or whatever

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How much energy must it take for someone to track every piece of clothing they bought a child, AND what someone else bought her too. It sounds exhausting.

I have never remembered who gave who what. My mother and my mother in law have better things to do than worry about if their grandkids are wearing something they bought them.

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What exactly will hurt you or your child by letting her wear it? Of course she would like to see her wear the damn dresses. I’m just not sure why you can’t just put it on her and you’re actually arguing with your husband over it.

I probably wouldn’t have exchanged it for something else. But she should get over it by now if she’s wearing the other clothes

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Dress your daughter in what your MIL wants you to dress her in… I’m sure she’ll tell you stories of how HER MIL dressed your husband in nothing but the clothes she bought him (and she didn’t throw a fit like you’re doing)… take a look at his childhood pictures… I’m sure ALL his clothes were from his grandma too… :grin:

I usually buy my granddaughter an outfit if I fall in love with it. My daughter in law usually sends me a picture of her wearing it which I appreciate but if she doent like it or
It doenst fit I have no objection to her returning it and getting something she likes or that fits. I have the fun of buying it since they are far away and I can’t always know what she’d need or like. I’m just glad I can do it.

Sit down and talk with grandma, tell her you didn’t know and apologize, she’s a mother and will understand.

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I would have cherished the opportunity to dress my child (when he was younger) in clothing either of his grandparents gifted - I did the first year, but my mom died when he was 8 months old. His other grandparents never gave gifts.

I would dress him in the clothing, take photos of whatever we did that day, or when we saw mom. It gave me joy to see the joy in her eyes.

It’s not about you.

If someone gifts you with clothing - let’s say a scarf - haven’t you noticed how they look when they see you wearing it?

We do this to show our appreciation and to make the giver feel good.

Perhaps your husband sides with his mom because he believes the same as she does.

Maybe before taking the two dresses back, a quick phone call to grandma explaining the need for pjs and the reason behind exchanging them.

How does your mom feel when she’s wearing something the other grandma gave her - ask for her honest feelings - she might feel the same.

As far as reconciling … well, good luck. At least she bought gifts. If she stopped, it’s on you, not her.

I am a gramma and great grama. I love buying but I give and SAY THE RECEIT IS IN THE BAG. BUT… you should dress those babies in those clothes and face time Grama with their smiley thank yous. Young people to treat older ones with a lot more respect. They were raised on respect and it is a form of LOVE to them. Raise your kids to respect them and they should grow up to respect you…

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I wouldn’t have exchanged it for anything else,like you could’ve bought her pjs without exchanging those clothes

There should be no expectations and i wouldnt worry if your daughter is 5 a few more years and she will tell you what she is wearing.

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Ridiculous… all that over some clothes :joy:

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All these comments bashing the wife and saying to “respect the grandma” are weird. Grandma needs to grow tf up and realize it’s only clothes and realize that that is her GRANDDAUGHTER not her DAUGHTER and should ask what she need instead. She should get shit for baby cause she wants to and loves her not to hold stupid shit over the mamas head like when she don’t wear them.:neutral_face: this is all so petty. And husband need to grow some balls and tell his mom to chill.

A gift with strings attached is not a gift. I buy clothes for my grandkids. I love to see them in the clothes. But if they need pajamas to sleep in and stay warm, by all means return the dresses and get then what they NEED be it pajamas, a coat or shoes. I always tell my kids you can return it if you need to get something else.

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Take a picture of your daughter in the clothes and send them to grandma every time she sends gifts

No, but I would, even just only once!

I give the the price docket, and I always say the clothes could be exchanged for something else. If the kids stayed at my place, then I always bought socks, undies, designer T-shirts, pyjamas and whatever the kids wanted.

Buy your mother in law a nice cardigan for her…

Don’t worry about it …it will get better as your daughter gets older.

Be happy she buys for her
It’s clothes!!! Quit being petty, let grandma see her in the dresses regardless of how fancy they are and grow up. Be happy she has a grandma that loves her and wants to buy for her. Do you know how many kids are out there that would love to have a grandma like your daughter has.

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As a grandma, I never expect my kids to dress my grandkids in clothes I bought. Even coming over to see me. Is it nice if they do? Of course!!! But when I do buy and give, I also include the gift receipt in case 1. It doesn’t fit 2. It’s not what is wanted or needed at the time. A gift with strings attached is no longer a gift.

I buy clothes for my grandchildren and yes I want to see them wear the clothes. Not everytime I see them but do want to see them in the clothes. I like to know my sacrifice was appreciated. Sometimes I do not have the money to splurge. The other thing is did they return it. Doesn’t matter your child needed pajamas your mother In law wanted her to have a fancy dress. If the dress didn’t fit that is different. I have bought clothes for my granddaughter and we live in the same town and go to the same church even and I may not see her in the clothes. Personally I take it as not appreciated if I can t see them or maybe a photo something. It isn’t rocket science and brings a smile to an elderly lady. Might be just what they need at the time.

If my kids great grandma( grandmother is gone) sent clothes, I would dress them and send pictures. However my kids gg don’t trip, she just sends money …

My parents already knew but I said to them and my in-laws do not buy clothes for my child unless you fully understand that my boy and girl are going to go outside and play in it. My girl has nice dresses that she likes to wear to play outside and her and the clothes get covered in dirt and mud. My mother in law got her a fancy dress and got mad when she saw my girl playing in dirt while wearing it. My response was I told you that was gonna happen. We have dogs, we garden, we go out side. I’m not gonna say it’s ok for a boy and not a girl. My father in law ( my husband’s parents are divorced) and his wife went a spent 400 hundred on clothes for just my boy and then acted like children when he wasn’t overly happy about getting clothes. His 8 and they didn’t ask him, or let him make a choice when we always have. That was a long visit. He doesn’t ask for name brand but he would have asked for super hero’s. They got him dinosaurs. It’s ok but not his still. I defended my child.