Your husband should definitely not be taking his mother’s side you are his immediate family now
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I always ask what he needs and with no string that’s just so immature of your mother in law sounds like a power play to me… And last but not least how and why would your husband side with her ??! That’s so wrong on so many levels
I am a grandmother of a 4 year old, Lily. Both if her grandmothers give her clothes, as do her aunties. We also give her books and toys and practical things. Yes l do like to see her in things l gave her or made for her (l knit). But l try to get things l know my grand-daughter likes and l don’t c a r e what she wears because she looks gorgeous anyway. When you dress her in grandma’s gifts make sure to point out to your husband at the time. Does he even know which clothes come from which grandparent? I think your MIL is being very unreasonable. But yes it’s probably time to confront/speak to her.
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This has nothing to do with the grandmother who feels entitled to feel important and more about how your husband does not stand up for you. You and your husband are partners. He should see where you are coming from and not allow his mother to insualt his wife and mother of his child. It shows disrespect which than let’s the mother in law now that she can disrespect you. In the end clothes are just objects. It’s all down to respect.
Start buying hideous clothing for your mother in law. Buy oversized baggy fancy formal gowns. Throw a fit when she doesn’t wear them around you.
I’m a grandma. I don’t buy my grandsons clothes to see them in. Those saying that’s what grandparents expect and it’s a sign of respect? That’s the most ridiculous and childish thing I have ever heard. All this behavior over clothes??!! Tell grandma your child doesn’t need clothes from her. Raise her better than that.
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So let the kid decide, she’s old enough now to tell you she wants to wear it or not. And who cares if it’s too fancy, clothes are meant to be worn, torn and stained. If that’s what happens when she wears it at least you got one good wear and grandma got to see. Let her live in the moment and not be afraid to dress up, get down, get dirty.
Is it nice for grandma to see a grandchild wear the outfits they have bought especially for them, sure. It’s great to show gratitude and respect for grandparents. Returning the dresses to the store, rather than grandma with an explanation that she doesn’t need fancy dresses but pajamas, seems a little disrespectful. On the other hand you do know what your kid needs more than grandma does, and a gift is just that, a gift. All that being said, your husband and you you should be a partnership. Regardless of what arguments you have between the two of you, siding with grandma ended with “I do.”
I have a cousin who’s current Mother in law treated her new step grandchildren as an afterthought. My cousin’s husband took the pretty dresses grandma bought for her grandchildren and returned them to her and told her that he had 7 children not 2. That man is one of my heroes.
I was certainly taught that it is rude to return gifts and then spend the money on something that you would prefer.
I would also not call wearing the clothing someone purchased having strings attached.
That is the purpose of clothing. To wear it. It is only good manners to dress your daughter in clothing given as gifts.
I really do not even understand this attitude.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I obligated to dress my daughter in clothes given by grandma? - Mamas Uncut
Buy your petty M-I-L and doll to dress up! And buy your hubby a spine!
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Put it on her, take a photo and send it to grandma you’re done 
So this has been my life for the past 14 years. I would have never set the precedent to present my daughter in the clothes that grandma bought bc this is the result. You returned unpractical gifts for practical attire and now selfish grandma is upset. Ugh. Your husband words are absolutely spoken verbatim with what his “lovely” mommy said to him. Stand your ground. Your child is not a dress up doll.
Simply just start telling the grandma what clothes your daughter needs.
For example. She has just gone a growth spurt coming into summer. Tell grandma that if she wishes to buy clothes for her granddaughter to buy her summer clothes in what ever size you child will be fitting.
I always tell my family and friends that if they wish to buy my kids clothes to buy a size up suitable for the next season
My Nan always brought my little one clothes and I always dressed her in them. She used to give me the receipt in case they didn’t fit but I never once returned them to the store. I think for me personally you shouldn’t have returned the dresses. You could’ve brought your little one some pjs out of your money, even if they’re second hand or just be honest and told her she needed pjs
I think a lot of grandmas expect to see the child is what they have bought
In regards to returning something to the store that was bought as a gift I find this highly rude
Everyone will have an opinion and I think it’s down to an individual but when my nana bought me things I always went to visit her next time in them and now do the same with my kids while they young x
Remember she is your child! Why should you have to put up with her calling you! Your husband needs to grow a spine and defend you or the mother in law will continue dictating!
Maybe I’m a bit different I’m not real sure. When I buy for my grand daughter I don’t really worry about when I’ll see her in the outfit. I buy what I think is cute and if my son and his wife don’t care for it I always leave a receipt for them to exchange it. They have done that I’m sure. But if I can’t see her wearing a particular dress or outfit due to location and clothes fitting when I will see her or not they snap a pic and send it to me. I do try to see what size she needs and what they like for her.
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Your mother in law sounds like a spoiled brat😂 I can almost bet she never had a daughter of her own
Then why doesn’t your mother in law ask what type of clothing your daughter is in need of, its common sense x
I don’t think it’s mandatory that they need to see the child in the clothes. But I do think it’s rude to take the clothes back to the store to get what you feel is more appropriate. Just remember, grandparents are in the grandkids life for such a small amount of time(in most cases). Does it really hurt you to see grandma happy that the child has on something they picked out? There’s so much more important things in life then this.
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I don’t agree AT ALL with her behavior! She needs to be checked for that and your husband as well! BUT, she is not wrong for buying clothing and expecting to see her granddaughter wearing it! Even if you just put it on her, take a picture then send it to grandma and take it right off! If she won’t even appreciate something as simple as that on your part, then she has some serious issues.
Sounds like grandma aka mil needs a reality check. Yes she’s bought clothing for your daughter which is nice of her to do. However to be petty enough to “have a tantrum” over you exchanging the dress for what was practical is unnecessary she’s a grown woman act like one not a spoiled brat. Your husband wants to side with his mom… good let him move back home and she can dress him up instead of treating your daughter like a toy.
I woubd thanks grandma for the clothes If they dont fit I would ask grandma to exchange them, I lived q distance from my in laws so when we got professional pictures done we always got a set frontier wearing the outfit, tbsy have the memory abd and can see the child in the out fit, and known it was worn
I think it’s petty, and rude to return a present. Buy the jamas out of your own money and let grandma buy the fancy stuff, who’s it hurting? Grow up!
My mom says this to me about clothing she buys for my brothers baby. She just bought her a baby bath n some clothing witch my brothers gf said she needed. Well I ended up with the tub and most the babies clothes my mom bought. Making my mom feel like what she buys isn’t good enough. Bc then her mom comes from florida with a baby tub n clothing n all my moms money she spent hoping to see the baby in or using n she doesn’t. Making her feel like what she buys isn’t good enough
Has anyone actually asked the child what they want to wear? Sounds crazy when your are worried about the relationship with MIL but you are looking out for your child’s needs and if she don’t like it then leave her to her bitterness, why should you fix it when it’s not your problem
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Maybe send photos of child I. Clothes if they grow out of them that quickly
I don’t think it’s unreasonable that if the grandma is buying what may well be expensive clothes that she knows they are not going to waste I guess
Don’t let them make you feel inferior as a mother. You know your right and they are acting ridiculously. She is your baby and you will dress her as you see fit and don’t feel obliged to dress them up for show no matter who it is. Gifts are gifts if they come with rules send em back and tell them not to bother anymoreXxxx full support over here xx
She’s a narcissistic beeotch!!!
Gifts are to be from the heart as you said. A gift given with expectations on how and when it should be used isn’t a gift. It’s a bribe!
Your husband sounds like a mama’s boy with zero spine and a willingness to let his mother abuse his wife and child. Js
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Get over it. Too much drama for Facebook.
Gramma needs to grow up! It’s your daughter, not hers.
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I’m almost positive if you just told her she needs pjs she will gladly purchase! It’s little things that you’re allowing to affect your relationship with her! It’s petty and of course grandma wants to see her in the clothes she bought and I understand that sometimes it can be overwhelming with the comments and stuff but try to keep in mind they were once the momma and in complete control and as grandparents they sometimes forget it’s not their child! But they just want to be appreciated so just appreciate her and be extremely grateful lol they soak up that stuff! I doubt her attitude will stick if you’re just grateful and explain dresses are not all she needs! You’d be surprised at how much she’ll appreciate you being honest! Kindness goes a long way
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I buy my granddaughter clothes all the time , do I expect to see her wear them when I see her no. I buy her clothes because 1 she needs them 2 because I think she will like them or look cute in them. That’s such a small thing to get upset about. I’m just glad to see her and get to spend time with her …
“No strings?” There is always a string and it’s a thick rope. ALWAYS dress the kid in whatever grandma gives. I don’t care how over the top it is. My mom put my poor little sister in this frilly white dress that had to be a Baptismal dress, a dozen times and the poor little girl would get so angry her entire head would turn red. But she couldn’t get out of it by herself so wear it she did when it would be seen by grandma. It was off the second she was out of sight though.
Fu k that if ur own husband side’s with his momma then he can pack his bags n go live with her. U need to stand ur ground now n set some boundaries as far as her buying anything else for ur daughter tell her it’s unacceptable and very rude of her to keep verbally assaulting u and u don’t want ur children around her anymore unless she treats u with some decent respect and love in front of ur husband and daughter. If u let this keep on going then ur daughter is going to recognize the disrespect grandma has for u and she may learn bad habits from grandma in the future if it’s not handled now.
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Im a grandmother and when i buy my grandson clothing i see him with it on…i havent bought him anything that deems “fancy” because he is a boy…now if i have a grand daughter and bought a fancy dress is because i know of an affair coming up and want her to look her best if mom n dad cannot financially…
When you give someone a gift it’s theirs to do what they want . In a grandmother and I just give money to get what they want or need. Your MIL is being petty!
First of all you returned a gift ti buy what you wanted…(pajamas) huge slap in the face!! Grandparents want pics of the kids in the clithes they give. That’s not much to ask, is it? Grandparents love to spoil their grandkids. They think of the grandkid and hiw adorabke they would look in the GIFT THEY PURCHASED for the grandchild. I am a granparent and a boutique owner. People spend lots of money on their grandchildren. Perhaps their are other issues.
I am a grandma, (the husbands mom) I feel this has nothing to do with the clothing at all and your MIL is feeling “left out”in a different way. I rarely ever see my grandkids in outfits I bought and I don’t care. I buy stuff I think they will love, not stuff I love. Your thoughts on gift giving are not wrong (IMO). It is something that runs deeper in your MIL.
JMO I would have put her in the dress took a few pics then returned them for the PJs. I can see both sides BUT do not think you or wrong for exchanging the fancy dresses for some PJs when she needed the pjs. Your husband SHOULD be the one to smooth this over and explain to his mother that the child needed pjs and the dress were not a necessity, with that said I can see why she is “holding “ the clothes she buys at her house so the child can wear them when she visits. I do think 
it’s a little extreme to hold it against you for yearssssssss and to call you names because of it BUT again your husband SHOULD be doing everything possible to smooth this over, seems like a adult mamas boy syndrome though 
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I bought my first grandson 20 outfits when he was about 4 months old. My now X daughter in law said let my nieces son use them and get them back after he grows out of them😳 I put all the outfits back in the bag and went to the local gas station to calm down from the hurt feelings I had. With in a hour a old car parked by me and I noticed a baby boy and the family looked like they could use some help. I started a conversation with the mom and told her I just bought about 200$ worth of little boy’s clothes would she like to have them ? She was shocked and happy. I was blessed that day because I helped a family that truly needed help. I have never bought another outfit for my grandson and I don’t waste money on toys.
First world problems.
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Is it really that hard to be accommodating? 
I think there is more to the story, and you are just looking for people to gang up on your side. 
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I don’t think this is something to ruin a relationship over. It’s sounds like you were down with dressing her in them in the beginning. Of grandma’s want to see the babes in the clothes, there’s no harm in that. And like some else said they aren’t around forever. Not worth the fight. Be the bigger person here for your kids.
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Grandma needs to grow up huni
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I buy my grandchildren clothes and once I give them to the parents I don’t care what or when the grandchildren wear them. I ask what they need and go from there. Good grief life is too short for grandma to be so nasty! She needs to take a step back and be thankful she even gets to see the child.
This is why I do not let anyone buy my children outfits etc without asking me if they are needed or appropriate or if I like them first 
call me picky, but my family and my boyfriends family all know that my kids don’t wear anything I don’t think they should 
I buy my granddaughter clothes, shoes and socks all the time, not with the expectation of seeing her in them but with the expectation she can use them, I see my granddaughter daily I don’t care what she wears as long as she’s wearing something, she may have been hurt because you returned the dresses without discussing it with her and maybe telling her the things your child really needs.
If your daughter needed pajamas why didn’t you go out of pocket and buy them why wait til grandma bought the clothes
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I buy my grandchildren (twins, a boy and girl) lots of clothes… for them to wear, whenever…if it’s a special occasion outfit I’ll consult with momma first to make sure all is well and the need/ want is there.
As a grandmother I see both sides… sometimes when I buy my grandchildren clothing I fear the parent/parents are returning them to the store for unnecessary items for themselves so maybe that’s what she feels you are doing when you return. Not claiming to be true, jus a thought…
Grandparents enjoy seeing the grandchildren wear/use purchased items gives them a sense of appreciation also!
It’s not about right or wrong. It’s about relationships and peaceful ones at tht. U could hve gotten her pj’s without returning the dresses or ask gramma if she will mind
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I’m a grandma now and , I learned from watching my mom shop for a mess of grandchildren. I always ask what size they are in and most importantly what do they need and if I want to throw a impractical item in then I will but I always go for size and what they need 1st
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I’m a first time grandma and maybe I’m different, but when I purchase clothing for my grandson I purchase what I know he needs or can wear. If my child feels that he needs somethin else and wants to exchange what I GAVE her for him then that’s fine. Yes I’m gonna buy and spoil but once it’s bought and given to him it is his mother’s right to do as she pleases with. But I’m also practical in buying what he needs and not just somethin he can wear once to look good for in a picture for me. Bc honestly…my grandchild will be adorable in whatever he wears bought by whomever. Petty and controlling is what she’s doing. Your husband needs to step up for you and y’all’s child.
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Returning a gift ? No. Rude
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I. Buy my. Grandkids… What i. Think. Is nice a lot. Of. Times. But. I. Ask. There. Mom. What. They. Need. For. Gifts
Chile, it’s no damn rule on no freakin gift from a grandparent. I’m not accommodating ANY T ONE damn feelings over a gift.
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I am grandma & great grandma and when I gift them something it’s for them to decide to wear it or not. You give and what they chose to do with it is on them and that’s ok by me.
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Didnt even read it all tell grandma to f off
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If it’s too big then don’t dress her in it, but taking it back and getting other stuff is a no
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My mother in law prob never sees the kids in clothes she buys not thag they don’t wear it just that I don’t even think about it. I would let her know when the kids need things like pyjamas etc if I were you so she buys them what they need too thn they will actually get some wear out of it but maybe get hubby to say it if your relationship is rocky. When my inlaws buy gifts they normally put them on my kids that day like oh how cute does it fit etc but not bring it up if they havnt seen them on them
Girl do you! That’s your child! And you shldnt have to walk on eggshells about anything you choose to do with or for your child. A gift is a gift and your hubby needs to grow a backbone. His mother sounds narcissistic. The name calling over clothes? Grow up. I’m petty so if grandma called me names and was disrespectful, my kid wldnt be seeing them until they acted right. No telling if over the years she’ll start talking shit about you to your kid especially if u get into a parental fight with the child, here comes grandma making it more toxic. Not worth it!
Have photos taken in the dresses (before returning them if you so desire) and send photos to Grandma.
Grandma is full of shit. My grandma( toddlers great grandma) always asks what our little one needs before she buys any clothing items.
Wow THAT’S what keeps you up at night? At least she has a grandma, period.
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Leave. Your husband should have your back. He sounds like a mama’s boy and you deserve better mama. People don’t change
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First thing, pick your battles. You are sweating something so small as to what your daughter wears to see her grandma. How long will your daughter be in that clothing, maybe a couple of hours? By that time the clothes are dirty and she will need to be changed anyway. Is your mother in law on a fixed income? If so, then that’s why it’s important to grandma. If you stop and put your mom in you MIL’s shoes, would you put your daughter in those clothes to see your mom? Your mom, is most likely closet to your daughter, because as a grandmother of 7, my daughter’s children are my children. My daughter’s don’t get upset because I do similar for my grandchildren as I did for my children. But I’ve changed with the times. But your husband’s mom, probably does things different than what your mom does. I bet if you let your MIL know what your daughter needs she would get it for her. Most likely, when a woman has a daughter, she knows she will see her grandchild. When a woman has a son, she knows, she will not see those grandchild as much as she would like, because her son’s children will go to their mother’s mom more. If you give a F off attitude to your MIL, you can bet you will get. a F off attitude back. If that’s your biggest problem with your MIL you should be thankful. Be thankful your daughter still has her grandma. Your making too big of a deal. Give respect, you will get respect.
You’re wrong. Your husband and his mother are right. Why would you take fancy dresses and exchange them for pajamas?? Is your husband so hard up that he can’t provide pajamas for his own kid?? If your MIL buys your kid clothes and your kid never wears them, grandma just wasted her money. There’s a lot missing from your story. I doubt your MIL dislikes you just because of the clothes situation. If you act that way over clothes, imagine how many other petty things you do that make her dislike you. But I’m sure you don’t talk about that.
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Grandma bought a gift for someone else. You took that person’s gift to the store and traded it for something else. Now when Grandma buys that person that type gift she keeps it at her house so the person can enjoy it without risk of you taking it from them.
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Give your husband back to her as a refund so she can dress him up again 
In all honesty tho don’t be afraid to be honest with them, if she needs practical clothes over fancy dress up clothes there’s 0 issues with that, and most importantly if your child doesn’t want to wear it then she doesn’t have to!
My mum has bought my daughter loads of bits and bobs of clothing over the years and hasn’t once complained if she sees her wearing it to get messy or even for pjs, she’s just happy that she’s comfortable 
If you have an issue with the gift you should discuss it with the person who gives the gift…exchanging a gift for something different is rude and disrespectful…(and why would you do that if your feel a gift is from the heart?) You are contradicting your own statement.as for mil griping when your daughter wears a different outfit…she is also rude and who does she think she is.buying clothes for your daughter to wear over her house was a perfect solution not sure why that upsets you. If you feel the gift is inappropriate you should let her know that…also regardless of what your daughter needs people aren’t required to buy that for her as a gift (which you should agree since gifts are “grom the heart”)
.nobody is required to buy what you want them to buy your child as a gift but as a parent you most certainly can put rules and restrictions on what’s acceptable…of you want to rebuild your relationship with your mil I would apologize for exchanging the gift and explain that she really needed pjs at the time that are used everyday but that you see now how it hurt her feelings & apologize and going forward don’t be the parent that dictates what gifts someone buys your child…if she wears the dress once to see gma then she wears it once…it’s her gift not yours and its not anyone’s responsibility to gift your daughter with the necessities she needs however most gmas would if you let them know how she has necessities that are still needed. I can’t believe everyone thinks your mil has the audacity here…when gifts are from the heart there is an expectation that the child will use the gift that’s a normal expectation…everybody says how dare her but how dare you disrespect your husbands mother like that just because she’s a bad gift giver
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Grandma sound pretty pathetic tbh I wouldn’t be putting specific clothing on my kids just to visit someone and I sure as heck wouldn’t not dress my kid in something because another grandparent bought it haha! Take a picture of your kid in the clothes and send her it. Don’t see it as rude to return something for an item more practical either.
Grandma needs to back off
I have 8 granddaughters I don’t usually buy clothes leave it to the parents. My granddaughters wouldn’t be seen dead in any clothes I bought them .
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You don’t return something gifted to your child to get your child something they need. You go out and get what your child needs from the money you receive to do just that.
Easy take photos of the child in these clothes. Let the child wear them when she wants or when they fit. Put pictures on Facebook etc. send photos to Granmar and all should be good.
A gift should be given with no strings attached. Grandma should give the gift of clothing because it’s something the grandchild needs not because she wants to see them in it. Communication is very important, if you don’t need the fancy dresses maybe you should just suggest that the grandchild needed pajamas more than fancy dresses that just hang in the closet.
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Your mother-in-law may be working on a tight budget. A lot of older people are as they have to watch their spending in their later years. She may think that you feel what she buys is not good enough. When you dress her in the things your parents buy, that is a slap in the face to her. How would she even know that your parents bought them unless someone tells her? Although you have the right to dress your child the way you chose- would it be too much to have your daughter draw her a picture or something, to give her, to recognize the fact she gave your daughter a gift?
I think the grandma is childish and needs to grow up.
Your husband needs a back bone.
The only thing I thought that was wrong was retuning the items for something else. You could of kept the items she gave you for a time when needed and gone and got the PJs yourself.
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If you exchanged the gifted dresses for pajamas because you couldn’t afford the PJs yourself then it’s understandable. You also should have explained that to your MIL so she doesn’t think that you’re being rude. Since she purchased clothes for your daughter she probably could have bought some pjs and you could have kept those dresses. Communication on your end would have saved you this heartache.
Your husband should have backed you up regardless and then behind closed doors tell you “hey that wasn’t cool. Maybe next you can let me know or talk with my mom before doing that”
As a grandma of course I want to see my grand bby in clothes I bought but I also understand how children grow and if you needed something else, me personally, wouldn’t mind changing in something that most likely won’t get worn for something that’s needed
Remove all Toxic people from your life even if it’s family, it shouldn’t matter I think but some people just creates drama because they are miserable.
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Yes you did. You knew. Don’t plead ignorance. Imagine if it were you doing the buying. You’d like to see her wearing the clothes you bought as well.
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I think the grandmother is being petty.
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If i gift your child anything, and they NEED something else. TAKE IT BACK GET WHAT THEY NEED!!! Anyone who feels differently is selfish
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So while I don’t see an issue with what you did because my family is really messed up and fights over the smallest things and they would be mad at me if my kid needed pjs and I kept the dresses that weren’t practical at the time and didn’t exchange them for what he needed. That being said even if you are in the wrong… it’s been how long? And the family is still on about this? Imagine thinking it’s ok to bully a mom because she made a decision about her child you didn’t agree with. You don’t want her exchanging gifts? Either don’t buy them for her anymore or ASK her what the child needs before making a purchase. And then here’s the best part… if she makes a choice that you don’t agree with again… just tell her how it makes you feel and move on with your life! Boom everyone’s happy and not being AH. I just can’t understand how people don’t understand nobody is perfect and makes mistakes and they are going to tear her down forever over it and she’s the AH when all she wants to do is fix the situation. How much drama is going to come from this before the family is going to decide they’ve punished her enough?
You should have never returned the dresses. You should have used your own money to buy your child pajamas.
You are not obligated to do anything other than what you want to do pleasing people sometimes dis-pleases you’re self and that’s a no no from me. You can never keep everyone happy so you might as back yourself 
.
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As a grandma always ask what do they need in clothing and then I buy
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Sorry; but returning clothes bought and exchanging them for something else is quite rude imo, be grateful the grandma buys stuff as some people are massively grateful as they can’t afford to buy fancy outfits themselves. I expect the grandma is offended you did it. Is it really a big deal to put her in clothes grandma bought? It’s not like it’s all the time. Just when you visit. It’s something grandparents like to see. Get over it.
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Girl that’s your child and dress her as you please. If grandma redresses her when she has her that’s okay. However a gift a gift. If the dresses she did gift your daughter didn’t meet your taste. I would’ve return them as well. I’m go out on a limb here and say she enclose the receipt. Which would say to me you can exchange if you please.
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How much time does grandchild get to spend with grandma? Building bridges is what makes families strong? Next time you want a specific piece of clothing for the child why not ask grandma if she would like to get it? You are going to get it anyway why not provide grandma an opportunity, most likely pictures will be taken at some point of child wearing them. Families are everything as adults we are the examples and the bridge builders. Do you want your child to forge strong bonds with family or strangers?
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When grandma buys an outfit…take a quick minute to dress daughter in it and send grandma a pic…or try inviting grandma to go with clothes shopping …this way you get to spend time and grandma can help pick out stuff child needs/likes in the right sizes
I’m trying to see both sides of the story…
It is rude to return a gift… if special occasion dresses… you could of kept them for that.
Or returned and said nothing to save hurt feelings…
Lots have grandma’s that don’t bother… You should be pleased that she does… and of cause people do buy gifts and hope to see the child wearing them or a pic… quite normal.
A bit tit for tatt on both sides…
But I see your side too… and it’s not nice that you have to even make sides… Really your husband is piggy in the middle and should never be made to choose.
Such an awful situation that should of been fixed.
I think the only way is to get everything out in the open and say you want a better relationship.
Which will only work if both sides are willing x
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Grandma sounds controlling and she is controlling of her son as well. He is so used to being controlled by her he is doing what he’s used to. She is trying to control what you put on your daughter by throwing fits when you dress her in things bought by others. Your husband needs to learn to be a husband and stand up to his mother. Your child, her granddaughter needed pajamas and she gets this bent out of shape because you took care of her needs. It’s not like you did it repeatedly, it was once. Grandma could benefit from some help with her need to control everything.
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Wow! Grandma sounds like she is use to things ‘ her way’
Im a grandma to 5 children.
I buy clothing after asking what need and in what size. to help my children
I buy fun gifts for my grandchildren that they life when I take them out.
I give because that’s what grandmas do!
No strings attached.
I’ve bought my 3 grandsons outfits several times and if one was for a certain child I would get upset one of the other were wearing it thinking to myself, I bought that for this boy why is the other wearing it. I realized what’s it matter? The 3 boys are all about the same sizes… If the outfits can get use by all kids then good. If my daughter wanted to return one for pajamas because one of the kids needed them then that’s fine. It doesn’t pay to be mad over things you can’t control once they are given. I don’t have time in life to be mad?, angry or at no talking odds with the family. I’m just happy I was able to get them something.
Gramma sounds petty. I personally don’t think you did anything wrong. I buy my grandkids what they need not what i want tp see them in. And if it doesnt fit or soneone doesnt like it, please go exchange for something else. I dont need to see them in it. I bought it to help. Lol
I feel there is more to this story, but let’s go by what you have said… grandma buys her clothes obviously regularly if this is what’s stressing you out, and you stated you would always make a point to dress her in an outfit grandma brought if seeing her, so u set the precedent of them coming to expect to see her in the clothes she brought her, it probably would throw her off not seeing her in the clothes she brought her if that’s what they always see her in, still not a reason to go off though. Grandma then brought her 2 special dresses as a gift for her to wear if you were to all go out to a nice place/event, you decided this gift wasn’t needed and returned them for some ‘much needed pyjamas’ (and my guess is this is when the problems probably started) your in the wrong there. Those were a gift to your daughter, whether she got the chance to wear them or not was not a reason to return her gift, if you so desperately needed pyjamas they should have been in your budget or I bet if you had of asked grandma, she would have brought her some, I feel you hold resentment towards grandma for something bigger than some clothes 
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Personally, I would just get over it. Let grandma be a pain in the ass if she wants to be. As long as she keeps her drama at her house lol
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