QUESTION:
"Three years ago, my youngest got married. She asked me to host her household shower. I agreed. She gave me a list of who she wanted to be invited, picked the venue & gave me a menu to go by. I invited all but one person because they caused a lot of drama in our family, booked the venue & done the food. My sister said I ruined the shower, caused stress to the wedding & was not a good sister because I did not invite that one person. She has kept it going on social media for three years. Our Mom passed away two years ago. She is currently pregnant & wants me to throw a baby shower; I told her I don't really want to. But she says as her sister, I have to. I don't want any more drama! And I know I currently can not afford what she will expect to be done. Should I be the bigger person? Or stick to what I know will be less drama?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
"She sounds very controlling. That being said, don't be her doormat. She should have thanked you profusely for giving her the wedding shower. If she is a nice person, she would have friends that would offer to give her a shower."
"Just tell her you don’t want to “ruin” her special day again. And no you are not obligated to do anything for her."
"No one is obligated to do anything just because you're her sister. After the chaos and drama I would stay far away from that."
"Nope. Tell her you ruined her wedding , so you won’t plan anything else for her ever, because you would not want to ruin anything else for her."
"Maybe tell her… remember last time how I didn’t invite one person & you went off on me forever. Well I don’t want to put up with the same headache. Congratulations but no."
"Just because you are her sister don't mean you have to throw her a baby shower especially after the way she had been treating you about the last get together you threw for her …"
"She can throw her own shower with the person you didn't invite to the other shower and tell her good luck!"
"I would not do it, you’re not obligated at all, her complete lack of gratitude and behavior would be enough for me to say no. Do not let her bully you and don’t react to her crap."
"Family has a lot of drama!! If everyone is well be grateful! Drama pulls a family apart!! Having a shower for a family member is hard to do totally by yourself meet her in middle and say you will help some other friends of her to have her a shower! Have no regrets to help family the best you only have one chance you sometimes can’t go back!!"
"Don't turn the check as they say on this one , she maybe your sister , but she was very rude to you and did not appreciate what you did for her , so I would tell her I love you , but sorry I can't do it this time , you'll have to get one of your friends do it for you , and no matter what you say to me is gonna change my mind , and if she tries putting a guilt trip on you don't say anything just turn around and walk away."
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Tell her no and stick to it."
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