Three years ago, my youngest got married. She asked me to host her household shower. I agreed. She gave me a list of who she wanted to be invited, picked the venue & gave me a menu to go by. I invited all but one person because they caused a lot of drama in our family, booked the venue & done the food. My sister said I ruined the shower, caused stress to the wedding & was not a good sister because I did not invite that one person. She has kept it going on social media for three years. Our Mom passed away two years ago. She is currently pregnant & wants me to throw a baby shower; I told her I don’t really want to. But she says as her sister, I have to. I don’t want any more drama! And I know I currently can not afford what she will expect to be done. Should I be the bigger person? Or stick to what I know will be less drama?
I would say that you definitely Do NOT have to host the baby shower. First of all, she was ungrateful the first time; second, she already got a baby shower for her first child; third, I have NEVER heard of it being a sister’s responsibility. I would respond “Since you still speak about the horrible job I did the first time, I am not going to do another baby shower for you. I suggest you find someone who you feel would do a good job. Or you can consider not having a baby shower for each pregnancy.”
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I obligated to throw my sister a baby shower?
Not obligated to do anything
You dont have to do anything you don’t want to do. Tell her no and stick to it.
Tell her to piss off, you are definitely not obligated in any way!
Hell no. I would tell her to find someone else since the shower you through for her before wasn’t good enough for her
No! You’re not obligated to do anything
So not only do you have to organise everything, she expects you to cover the cost too​:flushed:
… That’s absurd and very selfish, Id disown her tbh… No one needs that negativity in their life, not even if its their sister…
Don’t do it! She was awful to you. There is no need to pamper someone like that.
I’m gonna say hell to the nag. Especially with that attitude. Family or not. Byeeee
You dont HAVE to do shit for her ungrateful ass.
No. Tell her exactly what you told us.
You are not obligated to do anything. Especially if there has been past drama.
Your not obligated to do so , you didn’t get her pregnant is what I told my sister… If I can I will if I can’t oh well I didn’t have too
Your definitely never obligated to do anything, if money is truly the issue maybe express that to your sister and tell her even if you do plan it she would have to help financially. If it is solely because you are not comfortable because of a previous encounter then do not do anything you aren’t comfortable with. Have an open and honest conversation with your sister about your issues, after all your family and these are times when she will need you most. But ALWAYS put your well being and comfort above everything
As my mom and dad would say, the only things you have to do are die and pay taxes!
If this was my sister i wouldnt do it tell her to find someone else. She is ungreatful
Nope. Set those boundaries.
No. Stop letting her manipulate you.
Maybe tell her… remember last time how I didn’t invite one person & you went off on me forever. Well I don’t want to put up with the same headache. Congratulations but no.
Let that 1 PERSON you didn’t invite throw that SHOWER
Nope not after acting ungrateful last time . Just say no and like you said shower aren’t cheap. She can have one and do it herself
You don’t HAVE to do shit!
You don’t need to do anything you don’t feel comfortable in doing.
Nope. She was awful to you. No way.
Tell her to throw her own shower if she wants it. Why do you have to do it for her. Stop letting her control you you are a adult and she has no right look after yourself first 
Why enable her bullshit?
You are not obligated to do anything for anyone
No u don’t have to throw her one. Anyone for her can even a friend.
No, you’re not obligated. You tried❤️ look where that got you…x be there for her though💕
You dont HAVE to do anything! She sounds ungrateful…
Does she not have friends? They can throw a baby shower too…
No, but if you don’t that might cause more drama and issues for your relationship
Absolutely not!!! Let that one person or one of her best friends throw her a baby shower. The problem with the world today is some people are so demanding and expect expect everyone else to do everything for them while they enjoy life and save their money.
Tell her to find someone else to do it
You don’t have to do what you don’t want. Don’t let her disrespect you. She may be your sister but follow your own feelings.
She’s not going to be happy either way. One of you might as well be okay with it. Tell her no.
Tell her to throw her own damn shower…she’s sounds like an entitled, spoiled brat.
Umm, I only had one baby shower and I paid for it myself. Never expected anyone else to throw it for me 
Couldn’t be me. She started mess last time you did something like that for her so why in gods name would she think you would do it again.
Me being petty… haha. I’d tell her to have the ONE PERSON you didn’t invite to throw it for her. No explanation. I’m over how families like to manipulate each other. That’s not family, that is toxic.
Its not up to you to be expected to do anything for her. If she wants it , let her organise it herself.
Is it even normal to ask someone to throw you a shower?
Family or not I think it’s tacky.
Hell No.
And why should you pay for it.
Have the one person that you didn’t invite throw the shower! And tell her you ruined the wedding, you wouldn’t dare do that again. Or, keep being her doormat.
No. You don’t have to. And if she wants one have her there it get self or have a friend. That’s so petty. My mom and my aunt threw my first because they new with the help I would get from my family would be helpful with everything I got. Now that I’m having my second. I’m throwing it myself. Because with good much I’m getting from work. And with rent. I Kno I can’t buy a lot myself. Most of the stuff I’m getting are hand me downs witch it ok with me. Because I Kno I’m going to use them. As long as I get clothes that’s all I need.
No f…k that
U do what u wanna do not just coz she says so
As the saying goes…
Once bitten, twice shy
Oh hell no. You are not obligated to do a damn thing for her! She can throw her own shower or she can ask her best friend to do it. She didn’t appreciate the last time you threw a party for her so why do it again??? Nope. Buy the baby a gift and call it a day!
Just because you are her sister don’t mean you have to throw her a baby shower expecially after the way she had been treating you about the last get together you threw for her …
no one threw me a baby shower
A baby shower can be thrown by anyone it think its crazy she has that expectation of you people throw those things because they want to not cause their told to i dont blame you for not wanting to id say no
You do not have to do any such thing
You’re not obligated to throw her a shower just because she’s your sister— especially if you’re not in a financial position to do so. She’s immature for making you feel bad about it.
Don’t do it. Sounds like she’s just using you.
No one is obligated to do anything just because you’re her sister. After the chaos and drama I would stay far away from that.
Nope. Tell her to ask a friend to. You ar NOT obligated to do anything.
Absolutely NOT. You be the “bigger person” and say no. What nerve.
Sounds like your sister is a toxic family member and she needs shut down.
No! If u “feel bad” then tell her u can’t afford to. You don’t have to do anything
Stick to your boundaries. YOU know what’s best for you. Offer ti help but just politely decline to host. Say it’s financial if you want!
If the first shower was so terrible, (& you caused So much stress!) why does she want you to throw another one 
you are not obligated to do jack diddly ( and that’s putting it mild). where on earth does she get her sense of entitlement? Tell her no, find a friend or hire a friend. Or hire a sister—or whatever. Only thing you have to do is live, die, and pay taxes.
She can throw her own shower with the person you didn’t invite to the other shower and tell her good luck!
Sisters don’t have to give showers. Most of the time it’s close friends.
Lol oh hell no 
don’t allow her to walk on you or talk shit about your daughter’s wedding.
No, youre not obligated to shit to her. Not even a hello
Maybe get some of her coworkers and a close friend or two plan it with you splitting the cost?
I’ma assuming since y’all’s mom has passed she looking up to you or her in laws ain’t that close to her
She’s got nerve asking you. My answer would be no and I wouldn’t any sleep over it 
Tell her to F*ck off
Don’t do it. That sounds stressful and she sounds ungrateful
You are not obligated to do anything. She can have close friends or cousins or even her MIL do it , there’s no set person that has to do anything for you of that sort. I personally threw my own baby shower cause I like to be in control of stuff like that especially when it comes to it being for me, I’m just weird like that I guess. But what I’m tryna say is if there’s certain things and ways she wants stuff done, she can and will get it done herself. Especially after you did what you did for her and she was unappreciative, do not let her quilt trip you into feeling bad about sayin no, also especially if she can’t pay for it herself🤷🏻‍♀️ that’s asking way to much of someone you have had a problem with in the past with handling your events. Say no girl, you are not obligated to do a damn thing for her, let that be known !
I wouldn’t, seems like they want u to spend ur money
Less drama. It’s about ur mental health first
Tell her get that 1 person you did not invite to throw it for her
You absolutely do not have to do anything for her.
I wouldn’t point blank!!!
She sounds terrible…lucky kid 
Wow… she has boundary issues. No- you don’t “owe” her a damn thing!
Tell her heeeeeelll no. if she wants a baby shower, she can do it herself.
Family has a lot of drama!! If everyone is well be grateful! Drama pulls a family apart!! Having a shower for a family member is hard to do totally by yourself meet her in middle and say you will help some other friends of her to have her a shower! Have no regrets to help family the best you only have one chance you sometimes can’t go back!!
I always thought showers were supposed to be done by people not in your immediate family. My mom pitched a fit because I was going to throw my sister a shower, she said it’s not proper etiquette. My Aunt ended up doing one for her.
She sounds toxic, the answer is no
Don’t do it. You have a right to your boundaries. And if you aren’t comfortable doing it then don’t. If you can’t financially handle it, then don’t.
Lmao are you seriously asking this? You’re not obligated to anything for anyone. Period! Don’t be a doormat! Tell her she sounds like a big baby and NO!! JFC.
You are 100% NOT obligated to do anything, no matter who she is to you. Do not let her bully you into doing it either. You have to put your foot down sometimes and just say No, my friend!!!
There is no rule of a sister having to do it… tell her to 
off since she still continues to cause drama over her bridal shower… tell her if she really wants a baby shower, to tell the godparents they have in mind to throw it for the baby… sorry not sorry but that’s way over board… as after of fact, that sounds more like the responsibility of her mother in law to do…
Oh hell no. She asked you to throw a party for her. I feel that’s tacky in the first place. Someone should throw a party because they want to not because they were asked. If you throw a party you make the choices. Otherwise she’s actually throwing her own party. You’re just footing the bill. Then she causes drama for 3 years over it? No way I’d throw another party for her.
Man she sounds like a brat! I don’t recall it’s mandatory for siblings to throw baby shower… give her the middle finger or tell her to find someone else
You don’t owe her anything sounds like the only time she wants something from you is one of the benefits her tell her find her somebody she considers more of a sister or a good friend than you stand your ground all of us are behind you Jimbo
Nope. Tell her you ruined her wedding , so you won’t plan anything else for her ever, because you would not want to ruin anything else for her.
If you can afford it don’t. If she is still bad mouthing you and it would be tense. Think twice
Technically it’s supposed to be a friend not familiar ly member
Take care of you
Expect to be blackballed either way
Tell her ungrateful ass no. Period
Nah. You are not required to do anything. Specially if you can’t afford to right now.
You are not obligated to throw the shower. Also she sounds high maintenance and may not be please, once again.
You don’t owe her a damn thing. If she wants a shower she can do it her damn self. Women do it all the time.
You are NOT obligated to do shit. Tell her no and thats it. Either way, there’s gonna be drama. She sounds extremely ungrateful and spoiled. Time for her to grow up.
Heck no. It’ll be her bridal shower round 2 and not worth it for you
What would mom want you to do? I say do it even if it’s cheaply. As for required no you are not do what you feel is best. I however would do it and show her how good you really are. Then cut ties
You don’t have to do anything!
Either way she is going to talk her mess. Because she tortured you for 3 years, you can wait another 3 years til you give her a shower. She didn’t have to do that to you. Sometimes life is better when you no longer give the person the knife to keep stabbing you. And tell her why after 3 yrs you will not do it.