Wow , thankfully you’re not my mom…I can’t believe you reacted the way you did to a question. You’re gonna have one sneaky teenage girl on your hands because she’s not gonna come to you for shit. Good luck with that.
She’s only 12 why blame her educate her on why that’s a bad idea don’t belittled and make her feel bad that’s terrible parenting you sick bro!
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Yea…you messed up on this one mama! First ask your self if you trust your daughter…if yes, then allow the sleep over and have it very clear that he is to sleep on the couch and the girls in the room! If you don’t, then allow him to come over til a 9 or 10pm that night and then he needs to go home…Give her room to build your trust and respect. This will open a lot of doors for you and your daughters relationship…don’t doubt her until she gives you a reason to not trust her.
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You grounded her for asking a question? She will never talk to about anything ever again. She will now do everything behind your back. She didn’t hurt anyone. However you said you were disappointed in her
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She is grounded for asking? That is a bit dramatic in my opinion…you should be proud that she trusted you enough to even ask.
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I understand and I don’t think your goal was unreasonable just the way you handled maybe asked why she would ask that maybe he is from an abusive home maybe he is gay either way you have a couch I am sure
My now 15yo has always had friends both boys and girls. I’ve let the boys stay when the girls have stayed. Everyone camps out in the living room. Never had any issues. It’s about trusting your child and giving them space to be open with you and grow from life’s experiences.
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You’re not only overreacting you’re teaching your child that she can’t be platonic friends with a male without out being a big deal. You’re acting as if you don’t trust your daughter and unless she’s given you reason,you don’t have one to not trust her. I’m 30 years old and from the time I was 11 until I was almost 18 I had guy friends stay and crash at my house on a regular basis. Also I’m not sure why you think it’s dangerous or unsafe, he’s not a grown man asking to stay with your child, it’s her FRIEND.
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I wouldn’t have let the boy sleep over but I wouldn’t have told my daughter I was disappointed in her and definitely wouldn’t have grounded her for asking permission. If she sneaks around after this I wouldn’t be surprised.
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Yeah there’s no reason to flip out if she just asked you a question. She won’t come to you anymore if that’s how you react.
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I think u could have probably just said no to the boy staying, and let her friend stay over as planned, and speak with her tomorrow wen her friend has gone
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I feel so sorry for your daughter! This was definitely the wrong approach! Have some trust in your daughter and sit down and talk to her about why you’re not comfortable with it and so you both can understand.
Your poor child hasn’t done anything wrong, she asked you and clearly is innocent and didn’t have any “promiscuous” thoughts and you jumped the gun and also presuming that the male friend would be the same.
Self reflection is needed for this situation
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Not over reacted. Yes they could be in different rooms, but they could easily sneak around when you’re sleeping. People may say sexualisation but you know what kids can be predators too!
I mean maybe she’s gay would you still let girls sleep over then 
seriously have the birds and bees talk her reaction alone will tell you if she was up to something
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You’re overreacting and now she’s just going to do things behind your back. If she’s never given you a reason to not trust her with these kids who are her friends, then I don’t see a problem. I feel sorry for her, you’re clearly a lunatic
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I mean, to ground her and flip out? 
you legit just said they alllll immature. So they camp in the living room and you, God forbid, sleep in there too. No offense but I bet she a teen momma
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I wouldn’t ground her but the answer would be no. Kids these days are doing a whole lot more than most of us realize. Guy friends are fine but not for sleep overs.
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I don’t think you’re over reacting , having boys stay over that’s how babies happen 
don’t want ur baby expecting a baby
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Definitely over reacting. Parents want their kids to trust them and come to them. But how are they supposed to do so when they are grounded for asking a question? She’s 12. Most 12 year olds aren’t trying to be sneaky and have sex. She thought of it literally just as well if my girl friend can stay, maybe you can too. You grounded her for trusting you and asking you an honest question. Most of my friends were guys. Now your daughter is going to be hurt and frustrated with you over something so little. You could’ve simply said “no I don’t think that’s appropriate sorry” “no but he can come hangout for a little bit.” There was no reason to do what you did.
what if ur daughter or ur daughters friend like girls and not boys? its really not a gender thing this day in age! Make sure she is aware of good touch bad touch … her body and consent and lay ground rules… I really shocked by this actually! You made her feel like crap and didn’t validate her at all bc of YOUR feelings and biases… its a different world we live in today than when you were younger. Now she feels shame i’m sure after having such a good day
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I feel the female friend still should have been allowed to stay the night with her. I had 3 best friends growing up 2 were girls the other was a boy, and we grew up together. My mom let him stay with us all the time but he slept in a different room than us girls did. His mom also allowed me to stay with him and i had my own room to stay in when I was there because we were so much like family. I honestly know a lot of family and friends who have dealt with their child having a best friend of the opposite sex that allow them to spend the night with each other but sleep in different areas. I mean to each their own because some people are just blown away with the fact that kids can have close friends that are opposite sex and it be innocent and nothing happen especially if properly chaperoned. But to completely shame her and keep her other friend from staying in my opinion was a bit much and I feel it can cause anger and resentment that could have been avoided if handled differently.
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Hard no on the boy staying over.
However, you overreacted in your response. A simple “nope, but he can stay until X:00 and then he can be dropped off or picked up.” Would have been a little less harsh. I don’t understand how grounding her and not letting her other friend stay helps the situation or why the accusatory tone for her asking? She’s 12 and genuinely may not understand why he can’t if they’re just friends and she’s oblivious to the why it’s not appropriate.
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My best friend growing up was a boy and my mom would let him spend the night! We all slept in the living room including my mom lol! You definitely overreacted, you could have easily said I’m not comfortable with that! It seems you don’t have a lot of trust in your daughter as if she’s already done something you don’t approve of!
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Serious over reaction how will she come to you or trust you with bigger things later on if you react like this. You could of enforced rules he could of slept in another room. Rather under your own roof where you can supervise.
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So many of y’all going to be wondering why you’ve got minor parents:woman_facepalming:
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You aren’t in you’re 12 yr olds mind. Maybe she really does see it as innocent. I believe you are overreacting. Why not let him stay and sleep in a separate room?
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You have just broken her trust in you. Don’t expect her to come to you with anything now, she will lie and hide the truth from you over your 1 bad reaction.
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Poorly handled. She may not be as forthcoming next time. And thats how boys get snuck in. Teach them right and they will make great choices
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Can’t back you up on this.
The question she asked wasn’t unsafe. She wasn’t taking advantage. She wasn’t overstepping boundaries.
She’s 12. ‘Not this time, honey’. Would have sufficed, then you could have discussed it tomorrow after her friend went home.
You screwed this one up, mama.
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I wouldn’t let a boy stay over with my 12 year old so I don’t think you are over reacting about that part but… Why is she grounded??? Why did you tell her you were disappointed in her because she even asked? I think your response to the whole situation was a bit harsh…
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Definitely think your over reacting… I mean atleast she asked if he could stay the night… all you had to do was say no…
You people have gone mad and clearly don’t have 12 year olds. Saying she’s wrong to have two kids different genders having a sleep over is completely normal and yes 12 year olds DEFINITELY start experimenting. This whole generation is so quacked.
If you ground her and express your disappointment in her for asking for permission she will regress and sneak behind your back before you know it. This was a opportunity her to learn that she can always come to you and ask but not always expect the answer yes… now she may not ask for permission again.
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I feel you may have taken it to far only if you havent spoke to her on how little boys and little girls dont have sleepovers together. As far as you saying the disappointed in the fact she even asked. Be glad she did tho, many wouldnt ask they’d find away to sneak out instead. If you act like that and tell her everytime she ask some that your disappointed shed ask, get ready for alot of sneaking around cause it’s going to happen she wont wanna talk to you about things, due to disappointing you. I’d just tell her no, and that’s that, if she pushes it on, then I’d tell her her girlfriend isnt staying the night either.
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You’re over reacting not she’s most likely not going to be comfortable asking you stuff.
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I would of said no to the boy staying but to not let the girl stay was uncalled for why should your daughter be punished for asking a question ( they could of snuck him in during the night) Your putting a rift between you and your daughter be prepared for her to become sneaky and not ask you something next time
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Sorry but I don’t think you overreacted. She should have taken no for an answer.
Yeah stuff like this is why I wasn’t real close to my mom after 18 a simple no with an explanation would have done now shell just lie to u about where she’s going and who with life your child feels like they can’t come to you they won’t
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Well if you want to draw a line where your daughter won’t feel comfortable talking to you about well anything. Your doing great 
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They’re 12.
You’re the one making things sexual and it’s weird. Girls and boys can be friends you nut
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I wouldnt mind if he was sleeping in a separate room. Unfortunately if you’re worried about her having sex…kids are going to do what kids want to do regardless if it’s dark outside or not lol if you were there to monitor the situation idk why you would be so upset.
personally, I think you are overreacting. My kids have had numerous sleepovers of mixed friends and because I trust my boys, I had no problems. They all camped out in the living room and I went in and checked up on them off and on (they were up all night of course 
). As long as your daughter knows your boundries, it shouldn’t be a problem
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You way overreacted with this situation. A simple no would have sufficed or a sit down with your daughter would have been good too. You had a great chance to parent her in a positive way and you handled it all wrong.
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Ok so does anyone not see the double standard here i don’t understand how its ok for girls to spend the night with girls but not a boy when you don’t know if your daughter likes girls boys or both. But also at the age of 12 i would hope none of them are doing things you need to worry about. I think you went way to far and if I was your daughter I would be in fear to talk to you again because of the consequences she was given for asking a question
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Over reacting and over thinking. They are 12 years old…. And immature as you stated. I doubt they are thinking about doing anything inappropriate, so why not just separate them at bed time? Your daughter could be just as at risk with a female friend staying over, but no one wants to talk about that.
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Wow. Well as I agree I would be concerned depending on the situation, I had boys sleep over at our house for entire summers and nothing happened when we were this age. Not in the same room, but in the living room or we camped outside together even in groups. Grounding seems quite extreme, she asked you after all. I don’t understand why you would react this way. It’s normal maybe to feel this way, but your actions seem a little extreme.
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I think you’re overreacting my thought process is it doesnt hurt to ask
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It was an innocent question. A simple no would have been fine. Definitely overreacted!
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I wouldn’t have flipped out like that and her friend could stay. The boy I would not be comfortable with and that would be a hard no. Leave it at that. She just asked.
Honest I would agree to this. He would just have to sleep in another room than the girls.
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No you’re not over reacting. My daughter has a friend who at 12 was able to have a boy stay over. She ended up pregnant and now has a 9 month old baby.
At least she asked you. I think it was innocent. Maybe he could have slept over and sleep in the living room or something? You are being unreasonable in how you answered her and she might be afraid to ask you or come to you anymore. That’s overreacting in my opinion
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Maybe explain why you don’t think it’s right and are uncomfortable with it. Just saying no and grounding her isn’t the right choice in my opinion!
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You won’t get really no back up from me - I can understand telling her “no” but to be so angry and upset about this? To ground her? Nah. You’re overreacting a bit.
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The way you’re handling it is unreasonable 
I would never allow the boy to stay but I don’t think your daughter saw it as anything other than wanting her two friends to stay the night. So, for you to flip shit and now ground her is ridiculous! A simple “sorry babe, I’m not okay with boys staying the night at such a young age” would’ve been sufficient enough! Good luck when she hits 16 and hides everything from you because you’re irrational!
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This is a bit overdramatic. She’s not asking for a boy she likes to sleep over alone in her room. She’s asking for her best guy friend, who she trusts, and feels comfortable with to join her and another friend for a sleep over. Do you not usually chaperone sleepovers?! Seperate rooms when they sleep, or even all in the living room on separate couches. She’s 12 momma, if you start over reacting now, she’s going to shut down quick! Respond, don’t react.
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You way over reacted. At least she asked instead of sneaking him in. You should have stayed calm with her instead of freaking out. A simple no probably would have worked
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I had sleepovers with my guy friends at 12 and no funny business happened. I’m not sure if you have a reason to not trust your daughter but if anything you could set them up separate beds maybe on the living room floor? Nothing wrong with being friends with guys 
I would say yes, let him but when it’s time for bed have him sleep in the living room. And why would you ground her? She didn’t do anything wrong?
I would not let a boy stay the night but telling her you disappointed in her is over reacting.
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You did over react just a bit but i understand not wanting boys to spend the night. How i was raised was no boys over night. As far as grounding her i think thats a bit much. But its your child not mine. Maybe when she gets home just talk to her after you calmed down and let her know why its not ok. Many are saying that your so far beyond wrong. I think your her parent not any of us. Do what ya gotta do momma bear.
You’re disappointed in her? Uh yeah you’re wayyyy overreacting. You said yourself she is immature, so I HIGHLY doubt they’re thinking about sex or anything inappropriate.
Keep shaming her, she’ll be 16 and pregnant.
I mean… they’re 12… she probably thought it would be okay because it’s innocent. I mean, they’re 12, they’re likely not thinking of having a three way once the adults go to sleep. Hell, personally I may have allowed it but he would have had to sleep in a spare room, or on the couch. Some people just need to relax, and realize that children today are already growing up in a fucked up world, don’t add to that…
I have 1 girl (16) 3 boys (14-13-4) they have friends stay over all the time. I assume you do not have a son lol. They are children and I can not let my daughters friends spend the night because she has brothers or vice versa thats not fair to them. I really think you are over reacting
Over reacting buddy. They are 12. Put them in the living room and not in a bedroom and idk keep an eye on them ? Or just tell her no and not act an ass by not letting her friend stay ? She’s 12. Atleast she asked you thinking she could atleast get a normal response from her mother and not a crazy reaction by grounding her.
Girls and boys can be strictly platonic. I had a boy who was a friend stay at my house all the time at her age. It was NEVER anything sexual or anything like that. We were strictly best friends. We did everything together. He slept on the floor or spare bed and never in the same bed as me unless we fell asleep on accident, above the blanket, watching tv or something but we always woke up on opposite sides. It’s weird you’re sexualizing kids spending time as kids.
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If they’re all friends why not??? Make the girls sleep in the bedroom and boy in the lounge room if you’re worried but seriously what a horrible way to act over something so innocent!!
You need help… Feel so sorry for your daughter!!!
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Acting out on her like that is just going to teach her to hide things from you. You literally just made her aware she can’t come to you for questions in the future…and that will eventually bite you in the a$$.
If you didn’t like it, you could have just said not tonight, then discuss it calmly when she got home why you weren’t comfortable…instead of ruining her whole day and now trust in you
With supervision and the other parent’s permission, I personally don’t see why they couldnt sleep in the livingroom.
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YTA. There should be no harm in asking. Way to alienate your daughter 
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What if she likes girls? Lol
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I mean grounding her is unreasonable. She asked. A simple no would have been fine.
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I do not think saying no to him staying the night is unreasonable but her being in trouble for simply asking is unreasonable.
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You’re way overreacting how are they supposed to ask or talk to you if you just flip out.?
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100% overreacted!! Was there any need to punish her for asking you a question!! Like wow! All you had to say was no! She will have problems coming to you about anything if this is how you reacted to her asking for a boy to stay 
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I would of said no talked once she was home but I would of let her girl friend stay the night
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I’m gonna have to agree with comment above. Unreasonable and your going to push your daughter away.
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You are absolutely right!!
Congratulations, your total and complete over reaction has drawn a bold line between her friendship.
It’s pretty clear she is young and it was innocent bc it’s her friend. Your own negative thoughts have been reflected onto her.
How could you react that way is more like the question.
You 110% over reacted, and I feel so sorry for those poor kids.
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I would have said u can hang out but he can’t sleep over and leave it to that …
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I’m with you Mom. There are no moral standards anymore. Mostly because the parents have no morals. Stick to your decision, make no apologies. You are the parent, it’s your responsibility to protect and direct your children.
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Way to far on your part. Grounding her over a question? A simple no would have been fine.
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Maybe it’d be okay with a couple more friends over and in the living room not in a bedroom.
You didn’t have to flip out and ground her for asking a simple no followed by a good talk between you both could fix it or like someone suggested all sleep in the living room and camp out there maybe a movie night or games night
Can girls not have boys as just friends?
When I was that age, I had a best friend who was a boy, and my mother would let him sleep over all of the time. A- Because she trusted me.
B- Because she new my best “guy” friend, was a good kid, and that there would be no funny business.
I have two very young daughters now, and if they had a best friend, that was a boy, that was as genuine and sincere, as my friend was, I would have absolutely NO problem letting him spend the night.
So I guess it all depends on how well you know the boy, and how much you trust your daughter… 
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You’re unreasonable. A simple “no sorry. No boys” would’ve sufficed.
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Yes you are! You have assumed that something bad will happen bc it’s a boy. 2 girls are very capable of the same mischief. A simple no would have been ample in this situation but you flipped out grounded her for asking a question. You have set the trails for her to sneak around behind your back as she gets older bc she won’t want to deal with the reaction you will have to something she would ask you.
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I agree with the no boy comming over but the way you reacted is very immature and unfair. She is a child , a simple no and a talk about why not would have been fine. You went overbord for something that dident happen. You will be lucky if she still tells you things.
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We are a no sleep over family period.
Why discriminate over gender? “Bad” things can happen anywhere and everywhere. If it was an early morning event or the drive would be late, I offer up the couch for friends of either gender.
Otherwise…no sleepovers.
Did she specifically ask for him to stay in the same room or just sleep over?
Honestly I think you have really overreacted
She could be sneaking around and doing it behind your back but instead she ASKED permission. I personally believe that if my parents would have grounded me for ASKING a simple question, I’d just lie and do it anyway and not ask, solely because either way I’d be grounded .
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Ok what did this girl to be grounded ? All she did was ask for a mate to stay over . I think u looking into it wayyy to much n u r over reacting !
When she starts sneaking around remember this moment
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Ok so my 13 year old son has told me he’s gay not long ago. He can’t have either spend the night now. No boys. No girls (just in case he may like both idk 
). So I see it as same thing. No mixed sleepovers at that age. Or in my case no sleepovers at all:woman_shrugging:t3: at this age. Sorry not sorry. My mom actually let us have guys stay over . Yeah. We definitely weren’t innocent in those things so nope. Not happening
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I’d apologise to my girl for overreacting. And invite the boy and other girl over for a whole day at the house. Get to know them all together, than say yes.
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Like I don’t see the difference in boys or girls sleeping over. We are in the era when half the population are gay, bi, transgender etc. How can you know that its dangerous for the boy to stay but the girl is fine, she might like girls, boys, both you just don’t know. They are kids, try and have some trust that your daughter has a good judgement of friends who don’t have any other ideas/motives about what’s going to happen. I mean are you going to say no girls again ever just incase one happens to be a lesbian? How do you know this boy of 12 isn’t going to turn out like other guys? You don’t they are children still. Try and trust your child a bit! You way over reacted and really need to apologise!
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I do think it’s a bit dramatic but then it all depends on your daughter . Is she a younge 12 who doesn’t under stand the concept of boy / girl stuff and just sees him as a friend then I wouldn’t see a issue here but if she was a “grown up” 12 with a lot of understanding then it would be a no. I personally think you could have just said no sorry no boys allowed to stay but your welcome to go out durn day etc.
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She asked. She didn’t just do it. She asked. You grounded your chils and took away her night because she asked your permission. You could’ve just said no, i would’ve said no, but you didn’t have to punish her just for asking.
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My son and daughter had kids of sexes stay over. I think you way overreacted in my opinion
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