Call and ask if you’re concerned. Don’t make a big deal out of it until you know for sure. Due to covid things are changing rapidly
My brother in laws platoon is in lock down right now and they aren’t allowing family or people who aren’t essential personal access to the base because of Covid
Different locations are under different guidance right now, don’t assume the worst. My sisters SNCO induction ceremony is being done virtually due to COVID. On a sidenote, sounds like you need to have a conversation with your husband if you’re suspecting him of cheating so hastily.
My husband is military also and I’ve only been to one promotion out of 4 and I didn’t even pin him. I don’t think it’s fishy at all. My husband was deployed for the first one and in the field for the other two. I was at his re-enlistment ceremony last year and got a award myself which all spouses do. I’d be more upset if he didn’t want you attending the reenlistment.
My husband is in the military and I would not think this is suspicious at allll. You could always ask his 1st Sargent what the current policy is. There could have been policy changes since April. Ask his friends wife about it to ease your mind. I don’t get my feelings hurt if I don’t attend one of these things. His last promotion was out of cycle and he didn’t really have any heads up or official ceremony. I just made him a cake at home and celebrated with him there.
It is August, not April. Things change in 4 months. Just because family got to attend events in April doesn’t mean they are allowed to now. Can’t comment on the pictures you have seen because you did not say when the pictures are from. If they are from a week ago, maybe you have the right to be suspicious. If they are from a month ago, not so much. Maybe your husband is not speaking to you because you accused him of being embarrassed you/cheating without any proof or reason. How would you feel if he accused you of cheating for no reason? He could want you to attend, but it’s not allowed like he said. I think you have a bigger problem because you jump right to “he’s cheating”. Clearly there are trust and communication issues that you two need to work on.
I get that you saw someone else’s wife going to a promotion in April, but things are way worse rn. I don’t think it’s fishy if they really did say no guests bc of that. Are you friends with any of his coworkers wives? if not bring it up to him how you feel and pay attention to his body language. It is weird that he’s avoiding you since asking the first time though.
Only active military are allowed on the bases where I live currently…
If you think there is an issue than there is an issue But I must clarify that I you know for CERTAIN that at this point in August in whatever state you are in that family members are still attending ceremonies on base, correct?
I am interested to know why you think he would be embarrassed by you… this struck me as odd.
The ones who keep saying the husband highly doubtful unless it’s a civilian and not on the military base in his platoon because if anybody in the military has an affair they get in trouble. Also with covid I know in my town where the national guard were called out they had a ceremony for the but nobody was allowed there either even with them being deployed to Afghanistan so highly bet her husband is telling her the truth and they aren’t allowing anybody in there cause they do not want their soldiers catching covid
Careful, you’re loosing the trust in your relationship. Your self esteem needs a boost, why would he be embarrassed? Most likely he just wants to keep you safe. Tell him you feel excluded,that you want to show him your proud of his achievements and the child/children need to see that he is achieving and is respected in his position. If the answer s still no, accept it. Pick your battles carefully as they say. Good communication is key.
It’s not that serious tbh .
Or maybe he cares about you and doesn’t want to risk you and the kids getting Covid
From what im hearing most military is under protection by having no outsiders for anythkng now. I would be questioning why you feel this way, talk to your man.
Hard to say, my experience with military me says there is something up
Depends on where he is. Restrictions in some areas are tougher now. Ask his squadron leader if you can
Don’t you trust him? If I walked into a bar or restaurant and saw my husband sitting with a beautiful woman I would assume he had a new friend, and 100% I would be right. Only once was I rebuffed. I asked him what Turkey’s real name was and his reply was I don’t know.
Sounds fishy to me why wouldn’t he want his family there? I’d be hurt that’s a big event to miss out on:(
I have a friend whose son graduated from boot camp in june and they were not allowed to be there. No one outside that camp was allowed to be at the ceremony. But on the other hand, ask his more about it if u suspect something else. Let him know how ur feeling.
I’m a vet as well. Trust your gut! Go to his promotion! Seems shady but normal in the military
A women’s intuition is always right. If you feel that somethings wrong, there is.
Best way to end a marriage is lack of trust. You either have it or you don’t.
Consider alot of things have changed with covid since april. Start by speaking to someone who would actually know about guest and promotions right now.
Contact the base where the ceremony is to take place and ask if it’s open to family members. If the answer is yes, get the details and go. You’ll find out whether there is a need for concern. Better to know than wonder all the time.
I’m going tell you from experience of being a veteran and I’ve seen a lot of things. If he is avoiding you since you’ve confronted him, he’s cheating and she’s going to be there. If you want to really find out just show up and you will see. It’s whether you really want to find out or not.
I just know there has to be a reason. I would be worried too
Follow your gut instinct- it sounds very fishy to me
I hope we all get an update but it definitely sounds fishy.
Sounds like to me there are issues with communication on both sides. Him not telling you about the ceremony and you are asking about of strangers on fb instead of communicating to him.
Actually theres a chance it could be do to covid, but he may not want you there so you dont risk getting it. Theres been multiple reports in my boyfriends unit of people potentially having it and some people know they have symptoms but are arrogant enough to still go out. Due to that all non-military are restricted on certain bases especially if its someone with kids or weak immune system
No! ASK HIM STRAIGHT WHY YOU ARE NOT INVITED? What the heck is the problem.
Is there a way to inform yourself if they are or aren’t letting family attend?
He is messing around I will bet my last dollar!!!
Trust you’re but honestly in my opinion he’s cheating
If you go leave your child home just in case he does have another woman with him
Something is going on i dont know what
Fishy, listen to your gut… its telling you something is off…
Call and ask the Commander or 1SG if you can go.
Go anyway. You don’t need an invitation.
I’m gonna need to know what happens after! This is juicy! Lol
I’m going with Cheating for 1000 Alex
Sorry with covid it sounds legit
I would go anyways…
Ehh, my husband is military too and I went to his first promotion ceremony but not the 2nd because it was short, sweet, to the point. I personally didn’t look too much into it, and instead made him a special dinner and dessert to congratulate him at home together.
ETA he didn’t want me to go to either ceremony because he didn’t want me to be bored and waste gas money lol. Literally theyre often only 5-10 minute ceremonies, at least in the AF.
Hmmmm, even with COVID, it would sound legit to allow only immediate family, but no one allowed at all, is a little fishy. Our base is open for business, just with mask and some social distancing rules …
hell ya that ninja cheating ! If it really was for covid why would he hide it from you ? why not just say it but because he hid it , i think he cheating she gone be there
Why don’t you ask his superiors ?
I think you should try and talk to him more about it nicely as possible , if he over reacts don’t go to his Level and stay calm. His reaction will tell you your answer
Where we are stationed has limited all ceremonies to 10 people but family and the soldier are the first in that count. I doubt command would ever say no family if the promotion is happening at home, overseas of course is different.
Heck with him I would go find something else to do . You already tried communicating with him about the situation . Keep your eyes open . It’s not you it’s him being selfish if he doesn’t want his family at a celebration of a proud moment his loss not yours. I’m sure when he is there alone people will ask where his family is.
Um something is definitely not right here at all. I have a couple different friends who’s husband’s are in the military and they have been able to attend the ceremonys during this time. So something is definitely not right. I would go with you gut
That is a question only you can answer, most women know when their husbands lie, I had the same situation where my husband never invited me to his promotion ceremonies, but I never felt like it was that he was hiding something or that he felt ashamed of me, like, why would he? Those are thoughts that wouldn’t even cross my mind, but because I know him… I would be more concerned about why you jump to those conclusions, honestly…
This doesn’t seem right it’s definitely a little suspicious even with Covid limitations. Having you there and your son should not be an issue especially if you are following guidelines like mask/ distancing.
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If he’s coming to the end of his contract, he’s probably so over it. I wouldn’t think anything of it.
Stay safe❤️
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Thank him for his service
Maybe it isn’t what you think it is. A lot is happening at the moment so maybe they aren’t allowing anyone. But what gets me is… why would he get upset about you confronting him? Unless you through it out there that you think something fishy is happening. If not, he could have explained and that’s it. Why play mad? I will say this… if you feel some way, talk about it. A lot of the time, instincts are right. Trust me, been there and done it. I’m sure there’s already a reason on why your even thinking he’s doing something like this.
I mean in the end it’s his promotion. He might just not want to make a big deal about it. Especially since it’s toward the end of his enlistment. I don’t really think it’s fair to automatically just assume that there is some ulterior motive. My husband likes keeping work at work and sometimes he would rather just not have me there. And that’s okay. It’s his choice
I mean honestly even if there isnt restrictions and he just doesn’t want a big hoopla over HIS promotion you should respect that. It’s his promotion and it’s not about you. Make him his favorite dinner or something to mark the occasion but dont bulldoze his accomplishment with your issues.
I think it’s a little strange but if you trust him and he hasn’t given you a reason not to believe him then you should just talk to him about how you feel.
As an “old Army wife” let it go!!! I would rather be " Beat Shot and Stabbed" than attend those ceremonies! Especially with children.
Trust your gut, we have those instincts for a reason
Just go anyway. If he flips out then he’s def hiding something. If not he’ll understand you wanted to be there for him.
It’s about him not you! Celebrate later. Promise you’re not missing much.
Just wait for pictures…
If you think others are bringing family then I’m sure people will be taking pics and post them.
Talk to him about it. Maybe things have changed since its now August… things change all the time also due to Covid. Why do you suspect he’s cheating? Has he been acting differently?
I would be put off by it. But I also understand that Covid is serious and the military does not play about the health of their personnel.
I would go ofcourse. Behind his back…
He probably has another wife,2 kids and a dog he’s taking.
You’re a back bencher
Go with your gut… instincts never lie .
Sounds very fishy. I would get in touch with someone from his command and find out the truth. If he lied then what else is he lying about…
There has to be an email, or letter with this information on it… I’d ask to see it.
That sounds real shady to me…
He probably has a secret family that he’ll be taking.
My ex husband got promoted in the military and it was all from our house on zoom.
He’s hiding something
I would go surprise him if you have that gut feeling check it out it’s better to know then to be left wondering
Quit flipping out, a lot is going in our world.
I’d just show up
Oh get over it. Its his thing. He doesnt want you there. Its not about you.
He has a girlfriend or boyfriend that doesn’t know about you
Yeah something seems up. But let me tell you, being in the military-there are a million ways to cheat all the time. It’s just a fact. The stories my brother in law told me about being stationed in Afghanistan (the women are literally begging them) training camp they still found ways. There’s always someone around. Not trying to discourage you but I feel like most people think that because their man is in the military that means he won’t cheat bc he’s “working”…yeah no. I’d show up anyways lol
Its true, my partner’s son has just graduated to become a marine and my partner is so upset that he can’t go to the graduation ceremony because of covid.
My husband got promoted and they would have let me be there. I think he is lying.
Just ask him point blank no emotion you’ll probably see his feelings even if he lies
Maybe he doesn’t want you to attend specifically because you’re making a big deal out of it. Maybe he doesn’t have a time set for the ceremony or maybe he’s getting promoted with 25 other people.
You can celebrate his promotion when he gets home that day.
Bottom line you’re overreacting. Do NOT show up there when he has already told you that they’re not allowing it. That makes you look childish and immature and it gives his command a bad impression of him like he didn’t do a good enough job explaining and his home life is a mess. No means no.
Also it IS a bit embarrassing when the wives show up for promotions. Do you not have things you need to do that day? Would you show up for him being promoted at any other job? Do you expect to be the one to pin his rank on instead of his mentor? Just find something else to do that day and celebrate as a family at home.
-5 year Marine veteran whose husband is still active duty.
Leave him. Trust your gut. If you felt like he was lying then he is. Army is a fucky place. My ex turned out to be closet gay. Alot of stuff went down in the army for him. Anyways fuck him. Go find a man who actually loves you and wants to share his world with you
Communicate with him
My husband is also military and those type of things when family is allowed restrctions is platoon/company dependent. Just because ones platoons leadership allows it doesnt mean another will…my husband is a platoon sgt and they do not allow families at ceremonies because of a covid risk. That’s a decision made from the company commander. Where as my friends husbands company is only allowing spouses no children. Again each company or platoon sets their own guidelines.
I have a friend on social media who has her husband graduating and becoming a marine and she got a notice in the mail that no family is allowed to attend the graduation right now due to covid so he may not be lying to you.
I was active duty military. If he doesn’t want you there its bc somethings not right. Either hes cheating or something he shouldn’t be doing. You wouldn’t beleive how many active duty service members cheat and get away with it completely. Ive seen it from the active duty side and its unbelievably common. So many women I wanted to tell, but it wasn’t my place for them to find out.
Call and ask if theyre allowing people there for ceremonies despite covid. If they tell you they are then show up and confront him there why he lied to you
A lot of places have made their rules more strict. My husbands best friend just graduated and no family was allowed to attend. They did a video. I would just speak to him about it again. If the answer is still no, then let it be. Also, please be very careful with saying you think he’s messing around with someone else. The military has different rules, and he can be court martialed for an accusation like that.
Sadly just because one command allows family there doesn’t mean all commands will. I believe it would be up to that command. So if it is not the same command I personally would believe my spouse. If they are all within the same command it is def fishy. I hope you get your answers.
The way the crises of covid is handled changes day to day. Do not assume he is lying. He obviously wants you to be safe in any regard. Talk to him about your feelings and about what you need to do for the safety of yourself and family. You should find an agreement on issues of safety and wellbeing.
Promotion and graduation are different yall. If yall have been on base this whole time together living together and he’s been allowed to leave and go to work and go home then your allowed at the promotion. But I also know you wouldn’t have this gut feeling yalls relationship didnt feel off. I have never once wondered if my husband had someone else ever. I say only you know your relationship. Are you crazy or has he ever done something to make you think this. But you should ask him. Or just deal w it. What is your life going to look like in 6 months
He might just want you and your son to be safe and not attend whether that restriction is being enforced or not. It might not be the best environment safety wise for you two to be there. Ask if you guys can order some good take out and celebrate in some way at home, I’m sure he’d appreciate that. Be upfront with your feelings. Festering thoughts lead to unresolved resentments. Just have an honest discussion!
Find out what’s really going on. And then decide if you should cut your losses. I was in a similar situation and I wish I had left sooner. It sucks but listen to your instincts - they’re never wrong.
I mean, you asked and he gave you a reasonable response- “due to covid.” It’s not like he didn’t give you a valid reason- he probably didn’t speak to you the rest of the night bc you are making a big deal out of nothing.
Men don’t think like women- they are very black and white and “typically” say what they mean. He was direct- what more do you want??
I’ve never attended any of my husband’s promotion ceremonies. He recently had one (last week) and I asked if I could attend since never been and he said no due to covid. Seems legit to me.
If you have doubts I would worry more about just attending a ceremony…
A family friend was just promoted a week ago and wasn’t allowed to have family attend. Another friend was promoted a month ago and was allowed to have family attend but also chose not to because of covid. I feel like you’re probably reading into it and making it something that it isn’t. He probably just wants to protect you and your son.
As a former Army wife and my father served 30 years, this seems suspicious. If he has 6 months left to his contract, he should be talking about a re-up to stay enlisted or retirement. The woman saying it’s true, doesn’t understand the difference between graduation ceremonies and promotion. Graduation is not allowing people because it’s a large number of people. Promotions are typically fewer people. If he’s angry with you and won’t communicate, I would be curious too. Are you friends with other wives? His company commander? I would definitely ask. My friend’s husband recently committed suicide and they held services and a special event for the family on base
If I were you…I’d just stay back and do as he asks due to covid. Keep you and your son safe first. You can always find another person with promotion footage. If you think hes fooling around though you might need to just watch out for the signs. I dont think hes embarrassed of you and your son or he wouldn’t have married you and had a child with you. Just keep an eye out for the signs and keep yourself distracted that day. If he gives you a big kiss and cuddle before he goes to accept his promotion then theres no love loss there. Just try not to mess up his uniform lol. It might not be as bigger thing as you think too. It’s just another stripe. Good luck and hugs for those patients that you have for being a military wife.
My cousin just enlisted and no family was allowed at any of her ceremonies they recorded it for families though.