I don’t want to be negative but that just isn’t okay. Especially the “who are you” and your husband not responding. Red flags.
92 Likes
You already expressed you were uncomfortable with their interactions and he ignored that, she stepped out of line when she commented who are you, he purposefully did not tell you the order was for her…most importantly, it feels off to you. You cannot make someone act right, so decide what you are willing to do about it and let him know what choice you have made and why. Put the ball in his court to fix it or leave. His priority should be you, your feelings and his family.
12 Likes
Nope. Trust your gut. Same situation with myself and my ex with a woman he worked with… spoiler alert, they are married now. I won’t go into the whole story for you but I fought back hard about her being around or in our lives, friends with him on social
Media and he resisted cutting her out saying she was just a friend and someone she worked with… alas… six months later he was asking me for a divorce after 10 years of marriage.
17 Likes
No, I smell a rat. If nothing was going on. She would not have cared who you where.
16 Likes
If you cant talk to me, you cant talk to my husband. She knew exactly who you were because shes obviously “friendly” so to ask you rudly who you are to me was intentional. If this is recent, the cup might be a birthday gift so not too big of a deal but add a card to it that has your (idk what its called in english but the personal writing you dedicate to someone on a gift card) so sign your name on it so she knows its from YALL and not HIM only. Also, talk to your man about it. You have no idea how helpful nipping something in the bud is. Dont wait till it becomes an infidelity if youre already seeing signs its been going on too long 
15 Likes
Something stinks and I think it’s your husband. When she asked who is this I would have told her I am his wife snd who the hell are you
9 Likes
Not at all. Listen to your gut. Something is probably going on. Even if they haven’t done anything, an emotional relationship with someone else is still cheating.
17 Likes
first of all he didnt even introduce you. thats a huge thing in my book. and i think you already know the answer hun im so sorry
15 Likes
They either have, are or want to sleep with each other
16 Likes
Nope! Follow your gut. Also super disappointing that she wouldn’t know who you are, and that is on your husband, not her. I smell a rat, potentially two of them!
30 Likes
Hell nah! Hes doing something he isn’t supposed too! My hubby let’s everyone know hes married lol
19 Likes
What is a cup order?
16 Likes
I bet he’s cheating! My first instinct is her asking who you are rudely
10 Likes
Nah he’s cheating 
if I walk up to my husband and a woman is getting defensive asking who I am, then I know right then and there my husband has failed me.
13 Likes
Absolutely not, you should openly communicate that their behavior towards one another is not ok and that it makes you feel uncomfortable
6 Likes
Nope. If your spidey senses are tingling then I would pay attention to them. Good luck.
6 Likes
You’re not overreacting and don’t let him tell you otherwise. They’ll deny it as the day is long.
7 Likes
He is either cheating already or has feelings for her which for me is still cheating. No one should talk to you that way and your husband isn’t man enough to put her and anyone else in their position and tell her and everyone to respect you as his wife
4 Likes
Not at all. Always follow your gut if you are questioning it for this long follow through with looking into it a little more with texts or emails.
5 Likes
My opinion: if the coworker knows the husband well enough to give him a full-body hug, she should know he is married with children. If she “doesn’t,” then either he isn’t sharing that he has a wife and children with this woman, or she is playing games and trying to stake her claim on the husband. I find it especially disturbing that the husband didn’t say “this is my wife and children,” and instead chose to ignore the situation—which seems to be common for weak men who cheat on their wives but try to keep the marriage for fear of tarnishing their reputations.
And, oh yeah—but they’re close enough friends that he buys her a gift?
3 Likes
The hug was definitely inappropriate! The fact that she asked who you are was inappropriate. From my point of view, if he had told her previously that he was married, she would be able to assume or at least ask if you’re the wife! Seems like he didn’t even mention his wife or family. Yeah, I’d be pissed and very suspicious!
1 Like
At the next get together. You be all over your husband lots of kisses. Act crazy in love just out of the blue. In her company in her sight. In front of her face. If she gets mad or he refuses your kisses . That will be your answer.
1 Like
My experience has told me when it comes to coworkers, yes it can START innocent. But it grows. They spend more time with coworkers than with their families per week. They chat, and get to know each other. To men the women at work are fun, cool, light hearted, easy to get along with and dont nag. This would be a big worry for me, and I have dealt with this more than than once. Is he still very friendly with her though now? You said he finally acknowledged it after the whole “who are you” incident. I’m wondering what he did to do that. No, you are not overreacting.
2 Likes
I’ve just asked my fella about this and he said there are boundaries in work so hugging is pretty much a no-no anyway. There are hugs like over the should hugs like a friend but a full body hug is intimate! The fact she had to ask who you were shows he hasnt mentioned you to her and thought there was something more between the two of them even if its just flirting. Body language is a massive tell tale sign to how somebody feels about you so a body hug means emotionally familiar. I am 5ft so very short and even I hug my tall friends over the shoulders. Only my fella gets full body hugs. Im sorry but we are given gut instinct for a reason but we are also given trust and communication. Talk to him!
Trust your gut. My husband has friends that he has known for longer than me and he has never given them a full body hug like you have described. Always a side hug or a one arm hug. He always introduces me as his wife the fact that he didn’t and it took your daughter to say it to believe her then there is a definitely a problem.
I feel the weird part about it is that when she was so rude about the “who are you?” That you’re husband didn’t introduce you, or acknowledge the comment. Something seems odd.
2 Likes
Always trust your instincts!! He may not be doing anything wrong per say, however emotional relationships can be just as damaging as a sexual. Take my word for it. Confront him tell him how you feel and ask him how he would feel if the rolls were reversed. To me her rudeness comes off as dominating. If he is not hers to dominate then why is she acting that way?
1 Like
No you are not overreacting. There are certain boundaries that should not be crossed. Her being rude to you should have been addressed. My husbands co workers know of me and if we are in public they say you must be Kelly and greet me. I think your husband needs to be clear you are his wife and never allow anyone to be rude to you.
1 Like
It really comes down to the fact that if it bothers you, and he knows that, and continues to have any type of interaction with her besides strictly job related, it’s inappropriate.
1 Like
He is completely disrespecting you. Full body hugs…nope. That is inappropriate. Buying a cup just for her… nope. Her rudely asking who you are??? Nope. So many things wrong with this. Im sorry you are having to go through this.
1 Like
If you already have to ask these types of questions I think you know in the back of your mind that you’re right to be thinking them. There’s no smoke without fire unfortunately. This needs dealing with before it eats you up, if you were forefront of his thoughts, then at work everyone would know your name at the very least. So sorry this happening to you 
I’d go introduce myself to his co worker and let her know exactly who I am. If he or she has a issue with that or oversteps a line afterwards then u have ur questions answered
1 Like
I’m trying to figure out, how if she had already been around the co worker at least once, when the said full body hug happened, then how does the co worker not know who she is?
1 Like
He knows and he doesn’t care. He will continue to talk to her and will continue hiding it or lying about it from you.
3 Likes
Girl mine don’t hug up on other women except family. It could be simple as their just friends or it could be she likes him and he doesn’t know it or they could be some coleslaw going on
Yeah, definitely not. I guess the easiest way to explain my point is, the way that I know my spouse has never & will never cheat on me is because he has proven that time & again. By not letting other people full body hug him, or question my presence, or talk out of pocket at all to or about me. Because when I do get insecure or have an issue, it’s met with understanding & compromise. If he isn’t proving it to you, there’s a reason.
3 Likes
I have been married for 38 years. I recetly6went through some devastating situation due to my husband having a secret friendship with a 24 year old girl.you are not overacting and dont take it sitting down…
1 Like
First of all, her hands would have been off limits had that been my husband. I’d have given her a full body cast! As far as her rudeness asking him who you were, well his tongue would had been replying this is my beautiful wife, or he would have been joining her in a full body cast too. Stop being so naive, to many red flags!
something is definitely shady! You shouldn’t have to tell him anything, it should be a natural response. Unless he didn’t WANT to:unamused:Same female…long period of time…not the first instance
1 Like
Definitely not ok and your not over reacting. If he didn’t feel guilty about something in the relationship he would have said something, if he knew that doing something for her upset you then he should not have done it. His priority should be you.
I would be super concerned that she asked who you are, is he hiding his marriage at work? That is not a good thing.
1 Like
Yes red flags but with your husband not the girl. The girl may not know your hubby is married so she may think she is flirting w a single friend. When she asked rudely who you are did you reply with his wife? I think you definitely need to talk to your husband which should have already taken place after the full body hug.
I find all of it inappropriate to be honest. I’ve never full bodied hugged a co-worker. That’s weird. And inappropriate even if I was single. Maybe a super quick one arm hug type of thing, but no. A full body hug with a co-worker is weird to me. Second, her feeling comfortable enough to say “who are you?” At a party is weird. If I were at a work function, I would never approach anyone with “who are you?” At a minimum I would say “hi, I’m Karli” and hope for an introduction in return. Buying her gifts is 10000% weird unless it was some sort of secret Santa exchange at work and he just happened to get her name (what a coincidence). At worse, something is up with them. At best, she just doesn’t know how to carry herself professionally at work.
No trust me on this…trust your gut feeling. I had my feelings about my husband cheating and it took a year but I caught him at their little spot and they had been seeing eachothet for a year !!! yes they worked together. ugh !!! trust your gut plz.
You are not overreacting!! That girl knows what she is doing and your humid sure enjoying it!!
It’s the
“who are you?” and the husband not immediately correcting her
For me 
My husband would have heard my words so quick…
You’re his wife, he better never leave you hanging…ever. That’s marriage 101.
dig in girl she is after your husband no doubt, seen this a million times and sounds like something is going on just saying. keep yours eyes open and confront her the next time she is around at functions etc. SORRY .
I personally am a hug kind of person (I realize not everyone is but my instincts would take over. COVID has helped me with that) Always follow your intuition, she should of never felt comfortable enough to be ask you who you are. He made her feel comfortable enough to ask.
Honestly, I would have confronted the situation as it unfolded. There is nothing wrong with you feel. If your husband is hiding something then that truth will show threw, but if he listens to your feelings and embraces your concerns then he would be genuinely showing you his true intentions. Stay strong 
.
always go with your gut about these situations… mines never been wrong about one even if I didn’t find out until much later I was right.
1 Like
She would have known who the ef i was real quick, and hubby would be eating hus meals through a straw!!!
1 Like
You need to assert yourself and show this chic where her place is. And it sure isn’t hugging all over your husband!
Not at all, if he has worked with this girl that long, Why has he never mentioned you or his kids to this girl? But feels comfortable enough to hig her like that, clearly she didn’t know who you were or better yet knew he was married.
Something is making you feel off about this relationship. That’s worth acknowledging. Your vibes are trying to tell you something. Listen to them. Doesn’t he wear a wedding ring? Who does she expect you’d be? I mean come on.
The husband would not be doing all of that if he wasn’t at least entertaining the idea of more than friendship with her
First, NO, you’re not overreacting! Second, that woman should have known exactly who you are. Third, the red flags you allow in the beginning, will be the reasons you leave later. Your husband didn’t believe you UNTIL YOUR DAUGHTER TOLD HIM?! No…no ma’am. I wouldn’t make that woman a cup…I’d make your husband and her matching dog bowls. Put your foot down and if your husband won’t, confront her…tell her WHO you are and then hand your husband to her. He wants to be a dog…hand her his leash. Also, women’s intuition never lies.
1 Like
Absolutely NOT overreacting. It’s called intuition… Handle your business girl!!!
1 Like
So story time. I was pregnant with my first kid and the husband and I went to the Disney store. This blonde woman comes up and just hugs him out of nowhere. He starts talking to her without an introduction or anything. And as I stand there waiting for him to say anything about the rotund pregnant woman standing next to him, I wait. 5, 10, 15 minutes go by before I stick my hand out and introduce myself. Hi I’m Cc, Dante’s wife. He looked like he got smacked. Didn’t even know this woman from more than an old job but didn’t think to be like hi I’m married now. I told him afterward that if that ever happened again, some strange woman coming up and hugging him with no introduction, he wouldn’t need to introduce me because I wouldn’t be there. Now on his side he had asked me to stop hugging my Male friends with such exuberance. I agreed so he agreed. Draw the line lady. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
Nope. I would be more than bothered and she would absolutely be questioned right along w him.
1 Like
No i don’t think you are i would have a serious talk with him it’s obviously bothering you and that could cause problems in your marriage i can totally relate to you my husband works with mainly women and i have had to get over my insecurities but there was one situation a while ago similar to yours and i kept my feelings inside i felt like a jealous teenager but when i couldn’t keep quiet anymore we took a long weekend together and had very serious talks i put on the waterworks and everything and he really listened to me and after that it got alot better
Sounds like they have a lot more than coworkers relationship going on.
1 Like
I would of turned around and said his wife who are you 
never ignore your gut it’s rarely ever wrong x
2 Likes
My husband would never allow someone to talk to me that way. That is super messed up and You should open up and tell him you’re uncomfortable with that girl.
Your husband sounds like he’s being secretive which is weird if he’s not doing anything wrong. Your right to be concerned.
Oh hell no, who are you? Is a big red flag that you’re not a note in his discussions AT ALL. If the women don’t know he’s taken by his own omission then there’s questions as to why he wouldn’t have mentioned it at least once. A picture, a phone saver background anything that he can say at least once yeah that’s my girl. Hate to say can’t get mad at a girl who doesn’t know this one’s taken.
2 Likes
How does she not know he is married?? Seems a bit dodge to me
2 Likes
Sounds like to me he’s more than friends and has been cheating. I mean y would she ask who are you? if supposedly nothing is going on between them? She obviously saw you and the kids with your husband so my assumption would have been either she knew he had a wife or she was in shock because she really didn’t know he was married but something isn’t adding up. I would definitely be concerned and have a chat with him
The thing is is that regardless of what we think of the interactions, it’s obviously not okay with you personally. But is okay for him, so to me you both have different idea’s and views on what is appropriate and what isn’t. So you can sit down and talk about that, but ultimately if you don’t agree then you might not be suited. You know what I mean? I’m not saying he’s a bad guy and I’m not saying you’re The bad guy, but you might just have different morals when it comes to your idea of loyalty. You need someone who matches your ideals. Otherwise you will constantly have this conflict within yourself. X
Oh what a load of crap…she knew who she was. Go with the gut, as said! If I’m ever uncomfortable, mine will nip whatever it is, as he should. He’s guilty.
1 Like
Absolutely NOT overreacting. It’s called intuition… Handle your business girl!!!
1 Like
Probably wouldn’t be a problem if he would have introduced his wife at the time of the hug.
1 Like
Girl, you Def got a problem. You need to look into this without telling him. Same thing happened to me and SHE was a so called friend. We divorced, she was 5 months pregnant when he married her. They divorced and he’s married again.
1 Like
Knock some sense into your husband. There’s some “ENTANGLEMENT” going on between him and that woman.
1 Like
Nope u r not overreacting at all! He should have more respect for u & announce u as his wife! I would be tripping too!
3 Likes
Not over reacting that’s definitely inappropriate and a red flag 
I’d straight up would have said right back wtf are you I’m his wife so I need to be asking you wtf you are and than ask my husband wtf is she asking me wth I am when she should know wtf I am and know not to mess with whats mine and a lot more but I’ll just leave it at that tf no I wouldn’t put up with that at all
1 Like
My husband instantly introduces me. He also would not let a woman hug him like that. I am a little crazy looking when things are inappropriate. Lol. Usually a female sees that and will not overstep. Your husband needs to tell you the whole story behind this woman and also tell the woman that she is inappropriate because he is married. You respect your spouse before a coworker. What I am saying is, it is your husband’s job to show you respect and give other people boundaries. If he isn’t, then he isn’t respecting how it makes you feel.
Well, bigger person than me… I would of said something about the hug in front of her or made her very uncomfortable by saying ooooh we give hugs great! And grabbed her with a very tightly hug … Now her asking who you were rudely… I would of gave her more smoke than she gave me! VERY rude…ummmmm I’m his wife and who are you? Once she gave her name i would ask my husband… Ooooh this is the same girl that you told me about that got around at work! Ahhhh gotcha nice to finally put a face to the stories… My husband KNOWS at that point it’s best he would keep his mouth shut bc I would hurt his feelings in front of everyone and all eyes would be on both of them!
Full body hugs… She knows what she is doing. I wouldn’t be giving any coworker a full body hug of the opposite sex period. She is positioning herself way to close to him or is already. He should have been more vocal about introducing you and including you etc. This is a problem or the beginning of a problem.
Trust your intuition and follow up. I was too stupid 20 years ago to do this and ended up badly hurt. Some female co workers have no regard for married men and often go after them. Its a game for them. Your husband, on the other hand, should be telling this girl that you are his wife and he needs to set up boundaries. The girl is obviously in the habit of being slutty with male coworkers. If your husband refuses to speak with her about her very inappropriate behavior and does not make it clear to her that he is a happily married man and not looking to cheat, I would suggest speaking with a lawyer.
The company party thing would have bothered me the order wouldn’t he probably just didn’t want the argument but then me being me I would have replied just as rudely back his wife why who are you 
not sure what is meant by a full body hug I only hug 1 way so can’t advise on that as im not sure what it means xx
I’m probably super biased but I say follow your gut. My husband had a female “work friend” where similar things like this happened. It turned out to be way more and almost ended our marriage. Try to start with a conversation and hope he isn’t lying. If he gets crazy defensive without anything to back up his claims, I’d see that as a red flag.
1 Like
Nope not at all, the hug but more importantly asking who you are and he says nothing red flag
1 Like
Totally start wearing a condom just in case just tell him i dont really trust you right now if this ruins the moment then we need to talk
No…get him to tell you the truth… Then leave
9 Likes
The hug thing, i feel is fine. Tbh I hug male friends, as well as female friends, so long as im close enough to them. HOWEVER they definitely know who my man is and we have all hung out together. And i keep a clear boundary…But maybe she just really didnt know who you were and he really didn’t hear the situation? if he did hear then yeah, definitely something fishy… As far as cup order… i dont really know what that is supposed to mean. Like a drink? Idk if that constitutes as something to worry about… really i guess its all in his nature, does he normally hug people? Does/would he get drinks for others? If so then i think maybe relax and keep one eye open. If not then you need to talk to him, watch and be cautious.
You’re not overreacting, that’s his work wife.
2 Likes
No you’re not over reacting if anything it’s your husband who’s not reacting . He should make it known he’s married and not flirting with a co-worker. The buying her a gift coupled with the hugging and other stuff is a huge red flag. If you’re asking us if it’s ok then in your gut you already know its not. Be strong for your kids and yourself and tell him to either come clean or get the hell out! He’s making a fool out of you and your family acting that way. You got this!!!
I would say host an office friends dinner/ party and invite her over. Meet nicely and introduce yourself as his Mrs. You can then observe their relationship and can ask for explanation from your husband afterwards if needed.
Office colleagues are someone with whom you spend as much time as your family and its natural to have good friendship. Just be more involved in his circle.
Always trust your gut feeling!! She sounds.like trouble
5 Likes
Is he an absolutely great guy otherwise? Home every evening. Great parent and partner? Lots of questions.
Hell no!! Nip it in the butt. He’s doing wrong and he knows it just like she knows it. Hang in there and do what you must. Trust your gut,girl!
1 Like
Oh Child… I’d have lost my mind on her and my soon to be ex Husband. That I was in fact his wife of.many years, and your shocked she didn’t know.
1 Like
I dont think so. I think from the hug he should have been like hey im married heres my wife… but peoole have been known to say I over react and be crazy. But i feel that my actions were justifiable for the most past.
No, he needs to respect you and put a stop to the actions this lady is doing to make you uncomfortable, such as not allow her to hug him or when she asks who are you, he needs to answer with something like my wife. This is on him not you.
There is no way no how would I be ok with a woman coming up giving my husband a hug like that. You have much more class then me, because things would have been real bad real fast for her in my world!! I would have said something to her, and to him. There is zero reason for that!!
RED FLAGS!!! From experience…I was married for 25 years to a habitual lying, cheating man. I chose to ignore the warnings and the lack of acknowledgment in public situations. Its because he is carrying on a whether its just a flirtatious or physical relationship with this woman and he DOES NOT want you in that bubble. They will keep you at a distance from situations they’re obviously doing things wrong in. Wake up hon…
1 Like
I dont think I would hold back if she asked who I was rudely. I’d tell her. No I dont think your wrong.
1 Like
Nope trust your gut! You should have been introduced to her the first time!!
This is more than a string of coincidences. Go with your gut here.
Edited to say: if you leave him and suddenly he’s paying child support and alimony, I highly doubt she’ll want him
1 Like
Nope! If you feel something isn’t right, it’s not; and her behavior sounds shady along with your spouse
1 Like
If he actually introduced you and corrected the situation there wouldn’t be a problem, but it’s the fact that he has said nothing and didnt even defend you that is the issue and red flag unfortunately. Each relationship has their own boundaries and what they agree to be okay, and I think you two need to sit down and re-go over what yours are and make sure you’re both at an understanding. He’s allowed to have his own needs/boundaries as you are too, and if yours no longer reflect one another maybe it’s time to sadly discuss the possibility of divorce…because neither of you deserve to be unhappy