While I was pregnant with my 2nd she continued to say baby needs to go into their own room straight away and you should not have them in your bed. I completely understand parents like to have an opinion and want to look out for their family but at the same time I don’t see why it needs to constantly be repeated. Have a say and leave it at that don’t keep repeating it.The final thing that has pushed me over the edge that I cannot come back from at the moment.My husband and I have been looking at putting our house on the market and to purchase our dream home while prices are pretty good. My mother in law said to my husband while on speaker phone in the car in front of me that we should stay where we are and that when my grandparents pass away that i will get there money and we can then buy whatever we like.I was furious by this comment because firstly my grandparents have been like my parents my whole life and I would rather them here any day then their money and second who the heck says that about anyone!!! My husband doesn’t really see an issue with anything she says and thinks I’m over reacting.I hate confrontation and I do not want to cause any dramas or ruin relationship with my husband and his family or my kids and their grandparents but I feel I just need to back away myself.What would you do if you were in my position how do you move past this ? Or am I over reacting ?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I over reacting about what my mother-in-law said to me?
First of all the mom isn’t sleeping over so that part is none of her business.
Second, the housing market just took a serious shit (at least in my area). Just proceed with caution 
I mean so far nothing you have said really would make me want to pick a fight honestly. But that’s because the stories I could tell from my life would make everyone’s jaw drop 🤣
My 6 year old daughter and I share a room and a bed have done since she was a baby, no shame here. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do.
Shes definitely overstepping boundaries .
Speak your mind and tell her that was an awful thing to say. Do what you want with your babies as long as its safe. All 5 of my kids slept with me for yrs. If you continue to let her talk to you like that she will never stfu. Just because shes older doesn’t give her the right to be rude!
I think you’re overreacting. I don’t think she was wishing death on them just saying it would be an opportunity for your family. My mother would stand over my dad and run her hands together with excitement saying when he died she’d be 100,000 richer, now that’s offensive 
couldn’t whoop her ass or he’d a whooped mine:person_shrugging:
Politely put her in her place.
voice you feeling, you have a right to be heard
How About Tell Her To Mind Her Damn Business, And Let Yall Live Y’all’s Life:roll_eyes: She’s Already Raised Her Kids… if That Would Of Been Me After That Conversation In The Car, I’d Said “Well We Can Just Wait For You To Die, How Much Money You Leaving Us?”
Ignore her or tell her to stay out of your business,your husband needs to step up and stand by you
No, you are not overreacting. She is stepping over boundaries. Stop sharing with her your plans and personal business.
My mother doesn’t necessarily agree with bedsharing, but pretty much left it at, I used a bassinet in my room when you were tiny but then you were in a crib in your own room. At the end of the day. They already raised their kids and need to let you raise your own. The thing about your grandparents is uncalled for. And your husband needs to understand why it’s hurtful and why he needs to stick up for you and your relationship.
That thing about your grandparents… no not fucking OK.
It’s annoying, sure but nothing worth your time and energy being upset about. She can have her opinions. Let them go in one ear and out another and do whatever you and your husband want to do regarding your home and your children
Get your husband to buy your dream home with you ,nothing to do with his mother if you and your husband have the money to do it now
I think that was extremely rude and out of line what your MIL said, but it sounds like she is the type of person who has a thought and says it. You know, like word vomit🤷🏼♀️. Don’t let her behavior drive a wedge with you and hubby.
Next time she says anything tell her “I respect and appreciate your opinion on how to raise a child, however I might not chose the same things with MY child” its what I told my exs mom. And she replied with something snippy so I told her straight up "I live with the one you raised and he’s far from perfect so I’ll raise my kids the way I believe they should be raised. "
And honestly I think she respected it cus she stopped forcing her opinions.
Well, babies should definitely not be in your bed. In a bassinet beside your bed so they’re close, but not ever in your bed.
And I’d tell her that it’s yours and your husband’s decision to move or not and you decide when and how. And she can not speak about your grandparents like that. Ask her how she’d feel if you told your husband he can get a new car when his parents die and he gets their money.
Phew y’all young. Been there. Time to grow up or grow up.
Stand up for yourself or this will never stop. And your husband needs to be a real man and stand up for you (his wife) cause eventually this is going to cause a huge rift between you and your husband and it won’t be fixable. The earlier this bs is dealt with the better it’ll be
Well 1st of all a newborn does NOT need to be in their own room. Tell her to mind her own damn business! I co slept but at least a newborn needs to sleep in the same room with mom. I would be selling my house and moving far away from that toxic woman!
Thank god your grandparents werent in the car with you guys, some people love to try and display their knowledge while revealing their ignorance
SAY:
“I’m glad that worked for YOU but we choose to do things differently with our children. We’ve discussed it and have chosen a different method.”
Walk away
My 9 year old still sleeps with me …. You do you and ignore & avoid the MIL ! People like that are set in their ways .
Tell her you’re going to wait on your MILs money when she passes away 
I would have taken it up with her myself I will refuse to let my mil ruin my family. N I will not let my husband talk for me. If he don’t like my feelings he can go live with her
Maybe she or another family member lost a baby to SIDS. One of my sister’s friends left her 4 month old baby in the middle of a queen size bed, came back a short time later and it was too late. Make your parenting decisions based on what’s safest for baby, not because you don’t want to follow an older and no doubt wiser woman’s advice.
Humans cosleep on a global scale. SIDs deaths in other countries are not nearly as common as they are here in the US.
Your kid your rules. And tell her thank you for her opinion you’ll take it into consideration.
Mama needs to mind her own business PERIOD‼️
Bedsharing is not safe. I agree with her on that. Have a friend that lost her 6 month old when she got her head wrapped in a pillowcase and passed while she was sleeping next to her. Bassinet,crib,or pack and play beside the bed with crib or bassinet wedge to prop up to prevent choking. Id listen to some advice. B…you have no idea his relationship with his grandparents. They could have treated him like crap. Dont know why he just sees his grandparents as an inheritance. Need to stay in your lane. If he wants to stay around until they pass…his business. Be more supportive and learn to listen to your elders when they give advice and stop getting angry about everything like everything is about you. It isnt.
Imagine if someone in you’re family had said - you should wait till his parents/ grandparents die then you’ll be able to get the home you want.
Would he be okay with that?
Would his mother?
Apples don’t fall far from the tree, he’s her apple. 
If you’re husband doesn’t man up, then you’re going to be the bad guy. I wouldn’t share any part of my life with this bitch…and anything she tries to tell me I would say…and this is your business because…?
You’re overreacting.
You need to speak to her privately and maturely. Tell her you heard the conversation regarding your grandparents and do not appreciate that SHES trying to spend their money before their time is up! I’d also mention that it bothers you that she repeatedly gives her opinions on how to raise your children. Let her know you welcome it once but it’s unnecessary and pushy when she gives the same opinion over and over. There’s nothing at all wrong with having a conversation like this and standing your ground. Communication is key to resolving issues. Stepping back and saying nothing just clears the path for it to continue…
Ignore her comment, she is just the MIL. She shouldn’t have any say so in your marriage no matter what. Second as per babies sleeping in their own room as soon as they go home, i agree, i have two son’s now 21 & 25 and as soon as they went home they had their own room sleeping by themselves. By the time both were 3 months old they slept through the night and never were “nervous” “ frightened” children and never asked to sleep in my room bc they were “scared”. Having a child sleeping in your room creates anxiety and fear, separation anxiety as well and makes them very nervous and insecure. And you and your husband need your privacy as well.
Stand up for yourself dont allow them to talk to you that way, especially when your not disrespectful towards them. Your husband should say something
That’s a really odd thing to say about someone else’s money 
I would’ve chimed in while he had me on speaker and said oh, how much you leaving us? We might just wait on that then.
Oml I’m glad I have the nicest mil ever. I would have went off right then and there on the speaker phone
First off she can mind her own business. Secondly money is not everything and to say that is utterly DISRESPECTFUL. And to me shows her character is garbage obviously. Buy y’all’s dream home, if the housing market is right for y’all eff her opinion. Y’all’s decisions do not directly effect her.
I’d say just ignore her and do what you want anyway. You don’t need her approval or permission. If what she is saying really bothers you then tell her to mind her own business.
You should speak up at the time she is inappropriate! Tell her it was not appropriate to say & that a decision you & hubs will make…lastly, do what’s right for you with your kids… I kept them in the room with me for a little while then put them in there room and why does she know your business
You should have said “why wait for them when we could wait for you” see how okay it is with everybody then. Wtf who even says that. I dislike co sleeping, I mostly agree with all pediatric information out rn (it’s really informative and could save so many lives) and I’ve told my brother 1 time about the dangers of co sleeping. That’s it. I strongly disagree with it, but I’m not going to dictate how my nephew is raised or how his parents raise him or what they have to deal with. It’s not my place. And it’s especially NO ONES place to stay those things. I stand to inherit 40 acres and a house when my dad passes, I still do not look forward to the day I have to run this place myself. It’s not something to look forward to or want and it’s fucked to say to anyone.
I honestly would have cursed her out bad
Have a discussion with your husband, he needs to have your back first and foremost. It offended you and rightly so if you don’t put your foot down now it only gets worse.
Tell her that she can live her life the way she chooses and you will do the same. If she can’t shut up then don’t allow her in your presence. Your husband needs to put you first!!
Tell her she already raised her kids the way she wanted. Now you’re raising yours the way you want.
I’d personally talk to her alone about the way I feel. If she continues to make comments that are rude and disrespectful I’d start to stay away
That’s a very inappropriate comment about your grandparents. I would be furious
I don’t have any advice on what to say to mil but 99% of pediatricians highly recommend baby sleep in same room for first year of life to reduce chances of SIDS.
I’d absolutely state your grave in this . She has NO RIGHTS to talk about what or who your grandparents leave what and where … NONE OF HER CONCERN . Seems to me like she expects you to cough up for the home . This lady is going to come between you and your hubby fast unless you stand your ground with BOTH . Fast.
Not sure how I would react honestly but u r def not overreacting! And shame on both of them! Her for saying it and him for condoning her beyond out of line statement!
At the end of the day your husband is not bothered. You can’t make him feel what you want to feel about the situation. And that being said. If you speak you mind to your Mother-in-law. He has no right to be angry with you for having a different opinions. Speak you objections with respect. But don’t sell your peace of mind and self respect. You are entitled to have your own feelings. You can raise your children how ever you want! Your mother -in-law already raised her own. I would respectful say, “Yes you have your opinion on this subject. I understand that is YOUR idea of what you think should happen. But, my husband and I decide what parenting happens with our children!” If your Mother-in-law goes bat shit crazy! So be it! I am sure she will tell her son. If he decides to get angry then that is something he needs to learn from. Unfortunately I don’t think this will be your last conversation about what the Mother -in-law has a option on going forward in your life. Stand up for yourself. You teach people how to treat you by what you put up with. Respectfully tell her you love her! You make your own decisions! Period!
Who cares what she thinks? She knows it bothers you so she keeps saying it. Roll it off every time. Don’t respond to it
Definitely put some distance there! In a marriage there is boundaries and apparently your MIL doesnt understand the meaning! Send her a simple text with the DEFINITION of BOUNDARIES and don’t say a word back! Maybe she will catch the drift! Toxic is Toxic NO MATTER WHAT!
Only my opinion. Your husband need to get a back bone. A son is your son until he takes a wife. He now needs to defend what you think. I’m just saying
Stand up. Tell your husband you want to move. Period. Don’t wait. Tell your husband also that you are feeling disrespected by mil and that needs nipped in the bud. If he won’t do it, you do it. If she gives you advice over and over you don’t want to hear tell her she raised her kids and it is your turn to raise yours. Period. About your grandparents I would have commented back that we’ll buy our dream house now and once YOU leave us your money when you’re dead we’ll go on vacation. See how she likes it.
Ask her the next time what you’ll get when she dies? Oml my blood pressure from that alone!
Nah! Say what comes to mind. If they have no filter why should you?! I’ll be damned!!!
I do not understand why some people get so offended/ bothered with other’s comments, all you have to do is to ignore them
Just ignore her comments and do what you want to do. If you want to keep your baby in you room, do it. If you can afford a new home, go for it. If she complains then blame it on hubby. I do this with my mother in law. We do what we want and when she has an issue I blame it on hubby. It’s become a running joke between the two of us, lol
She needs to stfu. If he wouldn’t tell her to I would.
Be bold right back to her. That’s the only way.
I do understand your annoyance but I would just let her comments go in one ear and out the other.
Here’s 3 rules to live by
1-Don’t be reactive (it’s ruin my relationships)
2-Do what you want unless it’s literally physical hurting someone.
3-you can’t change people
Extra one- just be quiet- don’t respond and do something that makes you happy in that moment - don’t let people take away your joy
Sorry MIL you had your chance these kids ARE mine!
You’re over reacting. You need to quit reacting to her and and ignore her. There’s nothing you can say or do to make things the way you want with her. She is who she is and you are who you are. Keep you distance if you don’t like the way she talks with you and don’t engage. That’s how you avoid putting a strain on your husband and his relationship with his parents.
Your baby -fact
Your money -fact
Your house -fact
MIL’s words - opinion
Everyone has an opinion! Only opinion in your marriage that is important is you and your spouse’s.
‘‘Thank you for your advice, however, I will parent how I think is best. Thank you!’’
You’re not overreacting. However, protect your peace. I would tell her I wouldn’t allow that kind of talk about my parents around me. She can keep that to herself. That if we want to move we will. And I will sleep with my baby or keep her in her crib as I want. She’s my child and I appreciate her help but will make final decisions on my own.
Then I wouldn’t even entertain it after that. Also, I’d be honest with my husband, tell him how I felt about my gparents (which he should already know) and tell him that if she says anything else like that, he needs to keep it to himself. It’s harmful and she should know better.
Then move on. Don’t bring it up and don’t let them say that ish. Either ignore her or shut down any advice she tries to give from jump. Good luck.
First, most pediatricians suggest having a crib/bassinet in parents room for the first year. Having baby close has been known to reduce risk of SIDs.
Second, I know what it’s like to be raised by a grandparent (my grandma and mother essentially co-parented my sibling and I)… If someone were to suggest such a nasty thing to me, as if I should wait for some inheritance, I would have called her a classless, heartless bitch, to her face.
The fact that your husband thinks that is fine is concerning 
NTA. I would tell your partner that the comment was over the line and he need to tell his mum that you heard what she said and you are upset by it.
You may have ended up in that family because you don’t like confrontation and probably put up with all kinds of bullshit red flags anyone else would have walked away from. So now that you’re here, you can tell them all to fuck right off and that they are wrong for acting how they do and saying what they said and watch them all stammer and make excuses and somehow make it all your fault. Obviously your husband and mother in law will not take responsibility and your husband stands up for his mom. How precious. Start confronting and don’t stop. They like you being a punching bag. Or you can divorce your husband and take half of his shit and buy your own dream home and largely ignore them all. If you don’t stand up for yourself, they’ll walk all over you forever. Find your inner bitch and let her come out to play. Mama bear doesn’t need to be meek and mild for these people who disrespect your boundaries. They’ll do it to your children, too, so learn to stand up to all of them now.
I’m in similar positions with my partners mom… He doesn’t see it either, I attribute that to him having grown up with the woman. I’ve just distanced myself and am basically low contact.
Everyone has and opinion, but they are like ass holes every body has one ,do it the way you want to
Your life
Your choices
Period
Did you reply to her when it was on speaker? That would have been an excellent time to start first conversation
Prices are not “good” on buying homes….??? Prices have gone way up. What I paid for my house in 2018 I wouldn’t even get 1/4 of the house size or acreage if I bought now
The first sentence out of my mouth after this would have been are you effing kidding me? When the grandparents die I’m going to be devastated. And I would hope your son didn’t marry me for my money. Because everything they have is going to charity except for a small thing they want me to have. Sometimes the only way is to lie. And talking about how to handle your baby, I was a Peds nurse for many years, and when people would ask me that I would say yes, but that was 30 years ago however old your husband is and they had done so many more studies over that X number of years and the pediatrician advice today is so much safer. My mil and I had a rocky start. I had no parents or grandparents alive when my kids were born so never ever had the opportunity to have learned how that generation thought. But I loved her dearly and miss her everyday.
I more mad atthe comment about your grandparents than the baby . Wtf who says that and the fact that your husb didn’t say anything makez it worse bc I would give him the side eye
Your husband kind of a coward for not seeing anything wrong with his mom meddling and disrespecting you. Both need to be checked!! Do you and whatever anyone else thinks don’t matter.
I normally don’t comment, but wow, that’s way out of line. I would’ve said something to my husband and if he says I’m overreacting, we would be arguing. But luckily for me, that’s not the case. My husband would’ve put his mom in her place. Then again, my mother in law has never given me any issues, nor has my mother given my husband any issues.
Ask her how much the bank is dropping off when she croaks?!?
Just kidding. I am currently in your situation. The first boundary she crosses with no resistance, she will tap dance all over you forever! Make yourself known, be firm!
Just ignore her. She is an elder. You do you and that’s it.
Let it go. Just do your own thing. Say thank you for the advice and smile sweetly.
I would tell my husband that either he can tell his mother to keep her mouth shut or you can. As his wife and the mother of his child it is his responsibility to stand up for you regardless if he shares similar beliefs about her remarks. She’s felt so entitled to insert her opinion in times where it wasn’t asked for…. Why are you not allowed too?
First of all, when you have your baby, if you want the crib in your room, that’s fine. I wouldn’t let the baby sleep with you for safety reasons. It’s too easy to roll over on them in your sleep an smother them. I had the baby crib in my room at first with my babies because I’m a sound sleeper and I was afraid I wouldn’t hear them when they cried. I didn’t count on maternal instinct keeping me awake to make sure they were still breathing! So I was awake anyway for the first couple of nights! Lol. As for the remark about your grandparents… that would have hurt me so much I would probably not been able to keep quiet at the time. I would have said that when my grandparents passed, that money would probably be set aside for the kids’ schooling. We would pay for our own house!
Sounds like he’s a mamas boy
Sounds like your husband and his momma are talking about all this on a daily basis.
I had a mother-in-law that said dumb hurtful things to and about me…I knew I was better than she thought I was…learn to ignore!
The baby in your room thing wounds like your husband is complaining to her and she’s trying to fix it for her baby. The grandparents dying and getting their money is flat out awful. I’d have lost it. No one should even stick that bad juju out there. I would have asked her how much we get when she dies. Bet he wouldn’t have liked that and maybe he would understand you. Also. The husband not backing you or at the very least attempting to see it from your shoes is bad. He doesn’t have to agree but you feel how you feel and it is bs these men won’t cut the cord with their mommies and be a husband. I love my boys and fully expect a piece of them as they grow, but when the time comes I know their wife will come before me.
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This is what I’ve always done and it has worked for me:
Just smile and nod at the person talking…then do what you want!!!
Just smile…no confrontation…then go about your way and do exact opposite.
The other person wants a confrontation…or reaction.
My method really gets their goat!!! Lol
as a M/B RN I have always told my mom’s New & ones who already have another child or two or more at home. People are going to tell them this & that, to do this or that, I tell them , listen to everything & do what works best for you & your baby, as long as it doesn’t harm the baby, Having a baby sleep in another room is up to the mother, A baby is still going to wake up every few hrs to eat, so if you want to get up & go into another room to feed your baby, & if that works for you, then do it, If you rather have the baby sleep in the same room as you, then do it I do NOT recommend any baby sleep in the same bed as the mom/parents. I have seen too many ‘accidents’ when this happens & the outcome is not good. There are these baby beds that slide right up against the parent’s bed, that a baby can sleep safety & the baby is right there for the mom, Also bassinets are also a good thing.
Where do you live that prices are good on buying a home right now?! Prices here have quadrupled. Maybe she could have had a little couth about herself but she is right about it not being a great time to move 
She sounds disgusting first off. Keep that gross negative mess far away. I hate when people say shit like that cause yeah not everyone sees a person as a bag of money. She sounds like a gold digger. Your grandparents could live on for years and years yet! No just no to all of it. Wtf. Mother in law’s are the worst LMFAO
Simply put, I would have LOST it if my MIL would have said that while I was around. That is not ok to talk about! That is y’all’s child. And seems your husband needs to get off her teet and be a man about it. NOT JUST YOU!