Need advice, please. My husband has been gone for a year now, working in another state. He only comes home on the weekends or every other weekend. Lately, we have been talking about anything other than himself and the gym. Also, when he comes home for the last two months hasn’t wanted anything to do with me sexually unless I’m doing everything. I told him I was feeling so stressed with everything going on between him, kids doing schooling at home, taking care of everything by myself at home, n still working 30 hours a week. He told me no one would baby me or hold my hand to quit making it a big deal that kids are hard ( we have four kids, 13, 11, 7, and 1 ) and that I shouldn’t need reassurance that I’m doing a good job. I felt defeated, like he’s not my other half at that moment. On his Facebook, I had asked him to delete the girls he has slept with or tried to sleep with. He wouldn’t want those guys on my Facebook, so I thought it was mutual respect. I found out last night he was an Instagram with all those girls he deleted from Facebook as he followers on there. When i asked him about it he said i was controlling and petty. I’m just so confused. Please tell me what would you do… Am i over reacting???
Sounds shady as hell to me.
Honestly I feel like he is definitely hiding stuff and he is not having any empathy for his so-called love of his life
Trust your gut…if something doesn’t feel right, then it ain’t right. Sounds like he regressed and turned himself into a f-boy. Boy byeeeeeee
He’s screwing around
Been there, done that. Time to say good bye
Boot his ass. He’s disrespectful and sounds arrogant now.
Time for a road trip!!!
It sounds like he’s checked out of the marriage already
In my opinion that is really shady and I’m so sorry you’re going through this rn…
If you only see your husband on weekends and he doesn’t want to be intimate I feel like that’s a huge red flag.
It’s not as easy as saying bye they have 4 kids together you need to speak to him openly and honestly only you can make the right decision for you
He’s feeling himself and is emotionally detached from you and your children. He’s enjoying living like a single man and doesn’t want you to know better or want more from him. That is why he trivializes your feelings.
Dump his ass can u say divorce papers but first i would go visit him unexpectedly take your children to a babysitter go down there and check it out I had to say is divorce papers and keep it pushing from their get all my spousal support child support he’ll wish he had done everything he needed to do
Kick him to the curb! Make him pay Child support for your 4 kids! He will not have any money left to screw around on!
My husband works in another state and he doesn’t act like this at all. We have 5 kids at home (13, 12, 10, 8 and 1.5) and yes there has been lots more put on me but its part of life. He sounds shady AF.
Just leave. Why are you asking for advice on an answer you already know.
Hell he’s cheating sis
Next time he leaves tell him not to bother coming back.
You are not over reacting!! Definitely shady. I would not be ok with that. You’re basically alone already. Leave him. You deserve better and so do your kids. Who knows what he could be hiding especially being so far away from you. I would not trust him.
Yeah I was controlling too, I “made” him delete his Facebook where he was talking to other women.
I “made” him send money to two random girls. I “made” him blah blah blah
So when I said “fine bye, leave my house” he said “I’m not leaving my daughter”
Ight well you weren’t thinking of that when you cheated on me, my dude. A month after she was born
We’re trying to work on things. So far he’s been genuine but he was obviously very good about hiding things to begin with. Time will tell
I will telll you this though, I will never ever beg him to do right by me. If he does anything wrong again, he’s done
And I’ll be on the lookout for me real soulmate
You don’t propose on the day our daughter is born and then go and cheat a month after. And not know why you did it.
Still don’t know a lot of it. Missing pieces…
Stay strong mama. That’s all you can do
If he ain’t gonna do right by you and he won’t change, say bye
If he doesn’t come home and is not loving and missing on you, then something is not right!
I think it’s time for you to move.
You deserve better! I’d leave. I’ve been there. It’s hard to walk away. You got this.
No you are NOT PETTY AND YOUR FEELINGS ARE 100% VALID. There is something going on. If by some chance in hell there is not, then I would be surprised. With ALL YOU do, you deserve better. Stand up for yourself. It is OKAY when nus women, moms, etc, stand up for ourselves and say if something is not right or bothering us. Prayers for you! You are worth it, and STRONGER THAN IT!
He’s cheating. I would file for a divorce and take everything he had.
Sounds like you really don’t even need him
You already know the answer, he needs to go, life is to short to be miserable
I’m going through this right now, it’s hard leaving and seeing them move on with someone else possibly after everything you went through with him. Best bet is to make sure you have 50/50 custody, see if someone can watch them for a few days in a couple of months and go to wherever he staying to see what’s really going on or created a fake page. Or just say fuck it and find someone who will support you, be there as a father and love you how you deserve.
Change the locks and file for divorce and child support or however it works in your state
First and foremost no support from him and no trust from you. Counseling or stay single.
Wow. With his behavior I’d assume he’s messing around.
Major red flags, already cheated or caught talking to others. He cares more about his own pleasure and happiness above tou or his family. Time to start preparing to exit. No its not easy but a great partner is their to ease the burden not add to the stress.
Call it quits and find someone that respects you and appreciates what you do for the family. He is shady and there is another woman
My husband is out of town 11 months out of the year. Home at most 4 days a month & we have 4 kids (the middle 2 are his from a previous). Its not easy & communication is the only form of a relationship you have when they travel. While on the road, my hubby is in constant communication & trying to make things easier on me. With that said, counseling, couples therapy, travel with him some, or figure out how to manage without him & leave the situation. Its not easy at all for everything to be on one person, but being scheduled & extremely organized on your end may help some. Good luck hun.
Definitely shady and he needs a surprise visit !! Set some mini cameras up
Look up gaslighter! It will change your whole outlook
You have done so well on your own thus far, he is bringing nothing new or good to your life apart from worry and stress, cut that string and watch how much better u feel for it. If he wants u then hel buck his ideas up and fight for u. If not then you would have done the right thing for you and your children to be much happier x
He isn’t worth anymore of your time. You deserve better!!!
Honey he is 100% cheating
Well it seems to me ur already doing most of the work. Do what your gut tells. Then fallow ur heart.
He’s cheating. I think you know that.
Why cant you move where ever he works? Then he can be home every night…
You’re not overreacting. If you’re holding all that down and still in one piece, then you deserve someone who can appreciate all that you can do. He only cares about himself and whoever he’s messing around with
Get all of your assets in your name, get a head of the game. Your kids are too young for you to fully support.
Your not over reacting at all, and I promise there is someone out there who would treat you much better !!
It’s time to call it quits. . I would bet money on it that he us cheating on you regularly
sounds like you need to leave
Sorry but that is red flags with out a doubt
My intuition says he’s not being faithful to you my heart goes out to you, been there, overcame and living the life I was meant to as you will too!
Unplanned road trip!! SUPRISE just thought I would come see you
Stop talking to strangers on Facebook about your problems
O wow that sounds like he’s cheating make your rules and if he doesn’t comply kick him out for good it’s definitely a unhealthy marriage I forsure would not put up with it love your kids and yourself before any man GOOD LUCK!!
You already know the answer now you need to respect yourself and get rid of him. Make sure you take him to the cleaners, child support, alimony, the house everything.
Fuck that dude. He def got some shady business going on. Make him choose. You doing everything all by yourself already, tf you need him for??
Its called gaslighting. Its a real thing. My kids brought my husband’s true self in focus for me, still divorcing, working 2 jobs, raising 4 kids…weve been married 29 years next month. Kids are 19, 17, 16, and 13. Hes been gone 3 years, been with a new female for over a year, so overwhelmed with his deception for almost the entire marriage left me unable to get out if bed for weeks, months, get him out and file a legal separation, tell him its to prove to you what he says you mean to him…trust you. Once the paperwork is filed, you’ll most likely never see him again. Reclaim yourself, your life. Your kids are watching your reaction, do not allow any more of your or their time to be lost at the sperm donors discretion. Show him you don’t need him to baby you or hold your hand, you’re a mama, put your kids first and I promise, after the emotions and tears, you’ll look back and be relieved hes gone. Woman up hon, people do do horrible things and go on with their lives. Some don’t care that its their kids they’re damaging because they enjoy it, watching you be loyal while they plan for our demise…they looove it. Google narcissist and sociopath and gaslighting. Good luck
O and be careful for STD JS
Sister, you already know the answer…you dont need to ask. You KNOW.
So, with that knowledge comes two choices. You can either be a victim and leave it alone and continue to live as you are.
You can grow a set of balls for the sake of the kids and do the right thing. If you can’t do it for yourself then do it for them. You step into that game. Let him know you lost your job, so you are going to need some extra money while you look for work or until unemployment kicks in. But you keep going to that job and you put every penny away in a bank account that nobody knows about. You WILL need this nest egg for when he leaves. If you have credit cards start paying them off slowly. You’re going to need those too with available balances on them. As often as possible make him pay for everything when he is home. Every single penny you can get, you take and stash away.with the credit cards, use them to buy prepaid visa cards. Stash them. Get a safe deposit box at a different bank to put them in. You WILL need those cards. While you are doing this…you keep smiling and know that you will be able to handle shit when he goes. It took me two years, by the time it happened I had 30 paid off credit cards. I had 10grand saved in the bank. Me and my kids did not end up as victims…because fuck that and fuck him.
Girl, get your game face on and make it right for your kids.
He definitely has another family in the other state hes living in. I’d say take a trip and check things out. But your most likely better off without him.
Sounds like he doesn’t consider himself your partner. Probably cheating and definitely checked out of the relationship. Please consider an official separation to protect yourself and your children from further emotional harm. I know it means letting go of the hope of reconciliation but in a practical sense not much would change from the way he is now because he is already so distant it’s like he’s made the decision to end it without telling you. I wish you the best of luck for the future.
He’s definitely cheating. Grab the divorce papers go be happy with your kids they love you .
Check out bank statements. Look at card usage. If he’s using money to go out or buying things that clearly aren’t for you, it’s time to lawyer up and divorce
Doesn’t sound like a husband at all !! I’m sorry your going through this but I can promise you that you deserve a hell of a lot more !!!
Can you move with him? Spy on him?
Is him working away for up to a year normal? Souns dodgy to me
U not overreacting, he is being a bastard and trying to put it in you.
Deep inside I’m sure you do feel he is cheating and abusing you in a way.
Take a breath and let it go.
U deserve better and beside you are already handling everything by your own.
Start stacking and saving to make your move because he doesn’t seem to respect you… If you live near va… I ca watch the kids while you take a road trip… lol
He’s a shady douche. Cut ties NOW and find someone better.
He’s cheating for sure
I will lose respect for you if i come back here and you are sill with this POS. Leave him.
When you started asking him to delete people you doubted him. So I think unfortunately you know but don’t want to face it. It sounds like he’s occupied with someone else or he’s just tapping out.
I would say it’s time for a divorce. You wouldn’t need him if your doing it all alone anyway. There are much more men out there that would treat you better.
Dude, red flags everywhere. It’s like a field of land mines. He’s bullying and gaslighting. It’s how they avoid getting caught in whatever they are hiding
Definitely shady Fr sounds like he is up to no good and sounds like your doing awesome without him your basically doing it yourself you don’t need him sounds like but it’s all up to you but definitely he’s doing something that’s for sure
Sounds like a loser to be honest
You already know so just do what needs to be done
Leave! You will save you and your children lots of unnecessary stress!!!
Your husband is shady I would say he is cheating and it is not acceptable at all to be following those women you do everything for your kids and run your house least you deserve is respect hun please wise up and get your ducks in a row maybe marriage counselling if you do not want to end the relationship but unless he is going to be honest and communicate and work with you and change this toxic behaviour he is not right for you or to be around the kids if he thinks he can treat you this way when you raise your kids and run your house and I have good intuition reading this I automatically thought he was cheating I do not want to upset you but take action dont be the victim .great phrase said to me by my granny when I was in a toxic relationship once you are the victim after that you are a willing participant cause you are choosing to stay please gather strength and do what feels right to you and only you
Girl! Get yourself a plan before you just up and leave. Stash some money (not at home or in an account) gift cards can be a good idea like to wal mart. Slowly remove important things into safe keeping. Don’t tell anyone what you are doing not even the kids. Then lawyer up and leave. I wish you the best of luck and am always here for someone to talk to!
I have been cheated on numerous times by my husband and did nothing forever. I totally regret staying. Don’t ignore the signs.
I wish I can meet you !!! Literally I lived this not too long ago. I’m telling you something trust your gut . Please do. If you know something is off something IS OFF . Don’t sleep on it and you do what you go to do . If you aren’t financially available to leave girl you need to start looking for ways. I’m telling you have a plan B just in case I’m not saying he is cheating but something doesn’t sound right at all.
Sounds like he’s cheating. Kids need you and he’s not validating your feelings, no sex, and talking about himself and the gym? Honey just go i been there done that. Not easy but your mental well being is important and the kiddos. Good luck to you.
This whole thing is unbelievable! I have no words!
He is.a POS
He is a jerk
He has moved onto another life
Make your plan
Don’t wallow in pity, do what.is.best for your.kids
Don’t wast anymore time or energy on that.scum
Don’t have se, with him, you would probably.catch.something.
Even if he isn’t being shady he is being a dick and disrespecting the HELL out of you!
Hes messing around on you kick his ass to the curb
Cheating probably they normally blame you
Screen shot all them infidelities, girls on there and maybe give him an ultimatum maybe ? I dont know. He must not know a good thing when he has one dear. Bless you and keep your head up.
Sounds like ur husband may have a girlfriend…
Either marriage counseling or divorce
I would just confront him. Look at phone records if you have to. But if it doesn’t feel right it usually isn’t. Regardless, if you are not happy, he should be willing to work with you to make things right. My best advice is…is he worth it? If so, work it out. Maybe it is time for him to work in your town.
A man that can go days with out sex and still doesn’t want it when yer together looks like your doing it all on your own anyway so keep doing what your doing sounds like he only adds more stress to u when hes home, best of luck to what ever u decide but remember your also entitled to be happy and if mammys happy kids are happy hugs xx
BIG RED FLAGS!! You need to take the next step and kick him to the curb! He’s already cheating girl!
He, is a big mistake.
Nah hes fucking around
Clear signs of a cheater your instincts know.
Follow what your intuition is telling you. From my past experience, it was never wrong! Sounds like he has detached himself emotionally from you. I always have believed in the saying, “I can do bad, all by myself”. You don’t need anyone making you feel less than.
Sorry you’re going through this. I know it is heartbreaking.
Course he is… start getting your affairs into order and prepare yourself to leave him.