I need to know if I am over-reacting. I have been with my boyfriend over 12 years. We have 2 children together. I have a minivan and he has a convertible. Our oldest is graduating Fifth grade and they are having a parade for the children. My boyfriend can’t come due to work, but our child still wanted to take the convertible to the parade. My boyfriend refused to trade me cars for the day. Actually I have never driven his new car, yet he drives mine when he needs to. Anyways I am so mad at him about this. Am I over reacting?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting about my boyfriend not letting me drive his car? - Mamas Uncut
What a egotistical prick. Typical male behaviour -.-
There’s not any information as to why he would think this.
Have you had a lot of accidents or incidents before?
If you are a good driver, i don’t see any issue with you driving the convertable
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No you’re not, do you ride passenger in his car at all? It almost feels like he’s hiding something
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Does he have much that’s only his? Relationships should be 2 equals sharing their lives, not 2 halves making a whole as people think. He’s being a bit of a cock, sure, but it’s understandable for him to have something that’s just his that he wants to protect.
I’d be mad too. I’d lock my car and never let him use it.
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You’ve been together for 12 years! Half of that car is yours 
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Without any other info, such as your driving record, no you’re not overreacting. Seems like such a small thing that would make your kid happy… If he cant come, then he should let you take the car.
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What a selfish prick
Offer to drop him off and pick him up from work that day 
No you’re not overreacting at all.
He could have let you take his car for his kids graduation parade.
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I would be mad to and if he want let you drive his i would’nt let him drive yours. That’s not right( unlress you have had acciedent’s ?)
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He sounds like a douche
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I’m not sure if you’re overreacting. Men feel differently about their vehicles than women do. Easy fix, though. Don’t let him drive your vehicle anymore!
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Yikes. You have every right to be upset. My husband would never act that way about a vehicle. lol especially if it was something for our kids…
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Men with their cars… no you’re not overreacting
My hubby won’t let me drive his motorcycle either. (Ok I don’t know how 
but still.) Good Lord with all the things going on in the world, focusing on a car seems quite trivial.
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Mine let’s me drive his corvette all the ti.e. actually got my own set of keys for it. No you are not
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If you have the means, go rent a convertible for a day. But yea bf is being a dick.
I don’t think your over-reacting at all. It’s for your child’s special day 
You’ve been together for 12 years and he doesn’t mind using your car…
Personally I’d be upset too and would be asking for an explanation to why!
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I would take them keys and take our child!
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Some people are just weird about their cars. My partner of 5+ years doesn’t like me to drive his car. He just knows that if I was to crash it that he would have a hard time letting that go. I do occasionally ride passenger in his car, but mostly we take mine because I prefer to drive and we have the car seats set in mine anyways.
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My younger, dumber self says “slash 2 or 3 of his tires but not all 4 because then insurance will cover it”
The more mature me says “talk to him. Tell him he kind of sucks and that you share everything for the sake of the kids and he needs to start doing the same or he can hit the road”
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Selfish I would say it should be your car also??? 12 years
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Here’s my car borrow it,
Problem is solve ,
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I don’t think you’re over reacting.
Nope not being unreasonable he sounds selfish
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Simple solution. Don’t let him drive yours when he needs. Sorry babe, you gotta take the convertible. He’s selfish af.
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It’s his car he pays for it. Not your car
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You’re not overreacting.
And if I were you, I’d flat out tell him if you can’t drive his then he needs to not expect to drive yours whenever he wants to.
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Not overreacting. It’s not you going out to run errands it’s yalls daughters special event.
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Save some money and go rent a nicer, more expensive car for the day.
His convertible can’t beat something if it’s 10x nicer looking than his dump truck
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I wouldn’t want people/ kids climbing all over a new vehicle either or put signs or streamers of any kind stuck to it , if that was in the plan , as well even if the kid was my own. But that’s just me.
Put a convertible rental on his credit card.
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Eh, how’s your driving record and is it a manual transmission?
My boyfriend lets me drive his car but doesn’t drive mine. I mean, he could, but hasn’t driven a car with a manual transmission in a very long time.
But if he takes yours to drive and leaves you without something to drive, that’s crappy.
What’s his reasoning? Makes no sense. He sounds selfish and immature af.
I don’t let my spouse drive my car, 
I have driven his, but I am very particular and would not be able to let it go if anything happened while he was driving it. He has a rare sports car that I wouldn’t dare ask to drive for the same reason. We are both big on cars and it’s just not a risk we need to take.
In your instance- this is a special event so I can see why it would be stressful and upsetting, but I think it’s a blessing- if something happened to the convertible while you had it he would be furious and you would feel guilty forever.
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He would not be using my car ever again. He can’t fit it in the convertible? Sucks to suck buddy. Sorry not sorry.
Your his wife? If so it’s yours too, and I’d take it
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Sis I’d be asking why you’re still a gf after 12yrs with 2 children… not about driving his car… but, Make ya own money, buy your own and don’t let him drive it 
better yet, make an ONLY FANS then buy a mansion and a car yard & kick his ass to the curb. Or, hire that loser to wash ya cars 
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Are you the same mom from the other day who also had a boyfriend for 12 years and you were fussing about him searching other girls’ profiles? Because if so I think it may be time for you to go.
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Stop letting him use yours
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Do you have any history of being unreliable or untrustworthy? If not, he’s TA
It’s for the kids, I’d be mad too
No you’re not overreacting. My husband is the same way there’s something about men and their cars. I just respect his boundaries and find ways around it.
Idk my brain is broken on this one…my first though was I couldnt be mad they are both his cars even the one I drive so he let’s me drive his car in ur case it just wouldnt be the one I want which would seams childish on my part…however I know this is the wrong line of thinking given the relationship I’m just not sure what the healthy answer is
After 12 years how are things not the both of yours?
You aren’t wrong, he is.
Tell him to grow up and stop being a possessive arsehole
RUN,LEAVE HIM… jk🤣 but he sounds like on of those weirdos on strange addiction!!! Check his tailpipe for dna
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Nope I would be pissed 12 years and hes gonna act like that shit well he will never be allowed to drive my car again.
I think since the two of you have established a family/home together that the whole his/her thing shouldn’t even exist in the relationship. My husband and I have two vehicles, i jump in whichever one I want to drive if I leave the house first and vice versa. Now my only question is are you a bad driver and that is why he doesn’t want you to drive it or is it just because it’s his car and not yours thing?
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Boyfriend 12 years? Yikes
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Boyfriend of 12 years. 12 YEARS!? 2 KIDS LATER & HE won’t marry you!?
Girl… And he won’t let you use his car… Oh my gawd. Some ladies tolerate way to much.
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Depends how bad a driver you are
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I passed my test 12yrs ago and he only passed his less than 2yrs ago. I drive his car often but don’t let him drive mine I know how he drives and he isn’t driving my car like that 
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What I would do is sometimes not helpful to others. But it works out great for me. Go buy your own convertible. Without him with. But I’m more of a 4x4 with removable top kinda person. Get one of those. With some awesome speakers and a manual transmission. Sounds like he wouldn’t know how to drive it.
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Many years ago, my boyfriend had a convertible and he let me drive it as long as I didn’t put the top down. He could, but I couldn’t. Double standards. That could be your problem, jealousy.
What I would do is sometimes not helpful to others. But it works out great for me. Go buy your own convertible. Without him with. But I’m more of a 4x4 with removable top kinda person. Get one of those. With some awesome speakers and a manual transmission. Sounds like he wouldn’t know how to drive it.
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Yea I’d be pissed. Unless you’re an awful driver then I understand but still.
Are people actually suggesting she should be worried that after 12 years they aren’t married? like that should be a woman’s ultimate goal in a relationship?
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Pedro Patiño if this aint you
No he’s being inconsiderate. You have to trust him he could reciprocate!
Nope men think there entitled to your stuff but not theres
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I would be mad and it might become an argument. You took my car before and you go take it again. Its a parade and our child is riding in that convertible and not my van. I don’t know what yo problem is with me driving your car and I don’t care at this point. Get over it im not go total your car baby but I am going to use it. Let’s not fight over this, its foolish. Then grab them keys, kiss him and walk off. But im An Aries and they say we mean but 12yrs…he not go play with me.
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Not every woman wants to get married 
You’re also not entitled to anyone’s things. It sucks, but yeah, that’s life. If it’s that important for you to do that for your daughter, then rent a convertible.
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It’s called basic respect. If he can drive yours then you should be afforded the RESPECT to drive his. No ifs, ands or buts to this. No grays. Just wrong or right.
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Considering my bf of 4 months was Guna let me drive his car he’s financing then maybe 
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My ex used to be like this.
He would want to borrow my SUV to move things or throw a ton of dirty stuff in the back like mulch but God forbid I Drive his precious Mercedes anywhere.
PS he had several DUIs and the worst driving record ever, and mine is completely clean.
Notice I said he’s the EX.
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Look into a car rental might be able to rent a bad ass car for the day
Getting mad about not being able to use something that doesn’t belong to you is weird.
It’s not a secret that some men have a weird fascination with their cars .
Try to decorate yours with your son or as a last option try to see if you can rent one for just that day .
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Not but accept it move forward. Went through something similar in my past relationship. He’d rotate through 3 of my vehicles as needed so I helped buy him a Buick and could barely even test drive it around the corner with out him being afraid I was going to wreck or something 
from that moment I said you drive yours and imma drive mine. His engine blew less than 3 months later it’s life.
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The true red flags that he doesn’t care that this could be a super special day for your child.
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Do you have a bad driving record or something? If he drives your vehicle then you should be able to drive his. Did he give you a valid reason for saying no? And the kid who wanted to use the convertible for the parade, is that his kid? If it is and he still said no and you don’t have a bad driving record, history of accidents or something, then I would be pissed.
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Why is everyone so bent after 12yrs they aren’t married? If it weren’t for my husband & i having insurance & dr issues with me having a different last name with our oldest we never would have gotten married. I didnt need a piece of paper to prove anything
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Unless you are a terrible driver I would just take it. What’s he gonna do, get mad? Oh well.
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It’s his car, and a super nice one. There are people who are very particular about their cars.
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Was the car his prior to your relationship? Is the car sentimental to him some way? Did he help you get the van? So much missing context in 12 years if expectations aren’t established there are some deeper seeded issues 
Yeah nope I would just drive the car seriously an if you ever call it quite take the car and leave his ass the mini van lmao
I’d let all the air out of his tires the night before, and then go get me a rental for the next day.
My partner and I share our cars. I have a car and he has a truck and we have an suv. We don’t need 3 vehicles so he has agreed to sell his truck. Maybe it’s time to trade in that van and get yourself something that he can’t drive.
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Unless you are a terrible driver I would just take it. What’s he gonna do, get mad? Oh well. And you need to have a serious talk. He takes yours but you can’t take his? Nope. If you live together, share household bills, expenses, children, etc. there is no his and hers. It’s ‘OURS’. He needs a reality check.
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Boyfriend…yet? Sounds like he’s very used to being selfish.
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My husband drives my mustang and I don’t drive his truck. Doesn’t bother me though because his truck is his baby. If I wrecked it I knew I’d never hear the end of it. lol
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What a jerk but I’m sure you already knew this. Surely there’s other things or red flags you’ve ignored
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My husband and I have been married for 57 years, he has a special 94 vette. He doesn’t let me drive it and that’s OK. I don’t let him cook in my kitchen either. DONT SWEAT the SMALL STUFF.
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Do you have a history of wrecking vehicles? If you’re not married then its not communal property. However, if you are on the loan/title and insurance you have every right to use the car whenever you want. If not, it’s at the owners discretion.
If you wake up before him… he has no choice but to switch for the day
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You are not overreacting
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To the ppl focusing on her relationship… my grandparents are divorced like 35 years ago. My grandpa has had a girlfriend for 30+ years!!! They just never got married. What’s it matter if they are married? They can take the relationship at whatever speed they want.
For the car thing tho are you a bad driver by chance or he not like the way you drive? Otherwise I’d be mad as well. We have our own cars but can drive them freely as we see fit and my new traverse he pays for fully but yet he still calls it mine.
It’s a controlling dick head move. He’s a dick.
Children, boyfriend? Wonder why kids today are confused?
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I’d be mad lol especially since it’s for the kiddos school parade.
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No! You are not, this is sad some men love their cars more than anything
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We don’t know the situation, are you listed as a driver on the insurance?
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After 12 years together this shouldn’t even be a question I never understood the mentality of long term relationships which people have " mine " and “theirs” it’s not like she’s even asking for regular use of it. Unless you’re a terrible driver that’s going to kerb the wheels and it’s his absolute pride and joy I don’t see the issue
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Y’all stop telling her to just take the car! Its not hers! They aren’t married! That’s illegal! 
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He is a narcissist move out
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When my husband n me first got together I had no vehicle and he had a nice truck 2 seater ( I had 3 kids) he let me drive it all the time .
Then we got a jeep Cherokee and a small car and we drove which ever one we wanted . Now we have one vehicle and I can drive it anytime I want after I get my DL again ( I’m diabetic had to give up driving for the last 5 years since my sugar would go so high now it’s under control so I can get my DL again . Glad I have such a great man .!!!
Trade you’re mini van in and get you a nice car that he can’t drive or don’t let him drive you’re mini van.
You could rent a convertible and use it . 
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You’re not over reacting. That’s a douche bag move from him.
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