Definitely a stupid reason to end a friendship…or are you perhaps just looking for a reason? 
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Your child won’t even know she isn’t there. Grow up. Maybe she doesn’t have the money to buy him a gift - - -.Why do you think a two year old needs a birthday party - he won’t know what is going on anyway.
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I’d cut off the friendship with you!! You think just because you go to her kids’ bday parties, events, etc…she should go to yours? Lol get off your high horse. She probably doesn’t want to go, because of how needy you are.
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Just because that is your good friend doesn’t mean you know everything going on with her, her job security might be at risk for that day off, it could be her financial situation or a few other reasons. Just because she can’t make it to one party doesn’t mean you stop being friends with her or hold a grudge gee as a friend you seem exhausting if your friendship depends on her attending a party. Friendship is based on a lot more than that. I can understand you being a little disappointed bc she can’t make it but the rest is overboard
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I see none of the replies here understand the concept of a real best friend. You’re there for each other. Stop making it about a gift. It’s about being there. This is why friendships have expiration dates now. She’s not wrong for her feelings
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If you’re ending your friendship over a 2nd birthday, I question the authenticity of your friendship. You choose to attend everything that’s your choice. Don’t be petty.
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If ya’ll was really best friends you would have already asked her why she can’t get that day off.
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Just because you would do it for them, dosent mean they will do it for you.
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Dude I don’t care how far in advance you tell someone NOT EVERYONE CAN AFFORD TO TAKE TIME OFF OF WORK 
Personally if I’m going to take time off it’s going to be for an EMERGENCY not a toddler’s birthday that the parent is throwing for THEMSELVES
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You’ll let your friendship end because someone can’t attend a birthday party for a child that could care less if she’s there and will most likely never remember this birthday party? Really? Geeez, I can’t believe she’s been friends with you for 11 years if you’re this over dramatic. I have a friend who I have known for about… 27 years. I rarely even invite anyone other than family for birthdays but I have invited her to a few and on occasion, she has come. Sometimes she doesn’t. I have literally never even given it a second thought about her not attending. It has literally never crossed my mind to destroy a long term friendship because I wanted my friend with me at my kids birthday party and she didn’t come pout. Do you even like her as a friend to begin with? Like, dang…
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Maybe someone she works with had to take some time off then and she’s offered to cover…
Grow up people can’t be there for everything
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She’s not obligated to do what you do… if it was a big birthday (10, 13, 16, 18, 21) maybe be upset… if this is all it takes to end your friendship, it wasn’t a strong/stable friendship to begin with… it’s worth having your feelings a bit hurt, but not worth ruining an 11 year friendship
I don’t expect my friends of 20 Years to come to my kids birthday parties. I think it’s silly… they have lives and I do not expect them to go out of their way to take time off either lol. They come visit when they can and same as me. Maybe ask if she can come when she has time to hang out. I don’t see any reason to end a friendship over it. It doesn’t have to be ON your kids birthday.
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Me & my best friend barely get to see each other. I went to her kids party she wasnt able to come to either of my kids party. Get over ourself!
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Your question: Am I over reacting?
Answer: Yes!!!
Read all of the above comments as to why the answer is yes.
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Girl grow up. Do you pay her bills? Know what financial goals she has? What if she’s already taken too much time and can’t anymore?
You’d really dismiss your best friend over a party? Whew the entitlement of it all 
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You are being very melodramatic… You are being too needy…
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You’re not her friend if THIS pettiness is what ends the friendship.
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And this is why entitled people don’t have friends… she’s not demanding you go to her kids stuff, I’m sure she only asks and makes the invitation to you, so why do you demand she go ?
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Stop going to her kid’s things , no one is making you ,
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Cut her some slack and see how things flow
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Perhaps someone else she works with specifically has that day of the week off. For example I know for a fact I won’t get Mondays off because a woman I work with absolutely cannot work that day. Be understanding
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Stop being so available to her then since you feel she isn’t being fair. She needs to work, period. So if she can’t make it, she can’t. If she invites you to her kids stuff and you have work or things to do just let her know in advance you won’t be there.
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That is ridiculous if you’re going to end a friendship over this- welcome to motherhood & trying to balance it all
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Yes you’re overreacting. No one should feel forced to attend an event and if you’re willing to throw away 11 years of friendship over it then you’re petty. The end.
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Dude she has kids to feed
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If you end your friendship over this, you’re a jackass. 
Just because you’re always available, doesn’t mean she is. You’re not obligated to attend everything for her kid(s) just like she isn’t for yours. You’re both adults. Adults have lives. Maybe she knows she has to work. Maybe her schedule isn’t out, but maybe she knows she works Saturdays. Or Sundays. Or maybe she works every other weekend. Maybe a coworker asked her specifically to work that day to ensure they had it off. I can’t speak for everyone, just myself, but it doesn’t matter who it is or how far out it is, I’m not requesting off work and using my PTO or losing pay for a birthday party. I won’t even do that for family functions.
I have taught my boys That an invitation does not mean they have to come. They are invited and have information of when and where but it is not a requirement. Also if you choose to go to everything for her and her kids that is on you. I never do or go some where for another person expecting it to be done in return. I decide to do it because that is who I am but I do not require it in return. Would it be nice 100% but it is not required. Just because you think someone should do something doesn’t mean they have to. I’ve had my sons birthday planned and scheduled since the beginning of January and its this Saturday. However we just sent out invitations last week. Calm down or accept the fact that you are throwing away your relationship.
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Is this a real Question ???11 years ??? Gone iver a 2yr olds party…and even then why have it on a week day / working day…could you change it to the Wk end…too needy by far.
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Her schdual is probably the same every week and some can not afford to just take off for a 2 yr Olds birthday when the kid won’t notice and will not rember it. If that’s all it takes to end your friendship you not that close.
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I would cut you off as a friend for being this dramatic. If she can’t make it, then she can’t make it. Perhaps she has already used her days for her own kids, you don’t know what her job is like, she does.
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If you end an 11 year friendship over something like this, then there must be more going on. Like, there has to be more context and this is just the last straw? Because if that’s not it, then you’re beyond ridiculous.
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I think everyone makes too big a deal about birthdays and maybe she feels the same? I mean, hey, everyone has one, every single year until they leave earth.
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As a bakery manager I am very limited on the amount of Weekends I can take off so I prioritize what weekends are pay important and my kid takes priority over anything or anyone and my best friend understands this . If she works in retail or food industry or something that makes her work weekends and if you have a Monday - Friday job there is no comparison … and pretty shitty to be mad
I rarely if ever attend my friends children’s parties, recitals, any events that are intended specifically for close friends and family and a child’s party is not for me. If I’m not working, I’ll take my son, but if I have to work we can’t go. I’m not missing work for a child’s birthday party and I would not expect any of my friends to take off work for one either. She probably has to use pto or lose her pay in order to go and she likely needs both. It’s great that you can attend all of those events, but most working parents have to pick and choose which are most important and someone else’s kids birthday party isn’t high on that list.
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Definitely overreacting! I’ve been friends with my BFF for 25+ years (we’re 29 & 30) and even then, she doesn’t show up too absolutely everything, she’s not my wife lol
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I feel like your schedule is wide open and you have the capability of giving her that always available and her schedule is complicated and she can’t miss work. It’s the only thing that would make sense to this situation with 11 years of friendship… my schedule is the same every week and I’ve had to tell besties I can’t do this or that when it’s months away. They know sick days are saved and used as needed with my kids. Is this the first event she’s missing. If it is your defiently over reacting big time. Really I think you should just talk to her. Maybe you’ll have a better understanding of her reasoning.
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Are you able to have the birthday party on another day that she doesn’t work on?
If it’s that important that she be there and your scedual is wide open and always available… then change the party to suit her other wise stop complaining
Awe dont let it end your friendship. She also could not be so into kid parties. But she probably is lucky to have a friend like you to come to hers or nobody else would
That’s a petty reason to end a friendship. I’m sure your friend pretty much knows what their schedule is like in advance. Not everyone can just take off work any time they feel like it
Some people have rotating schedules and you know what your rotation is so you will know if you are going to have that day off or not… And sometimes people just can’t afford the day off…if you can for her that’s great… But just because she can’t for you seems like a pretty stupid reason to end an 11 year friendship over…
I don’t even tell my best friend of over 20 years how financially stressed I am … You just don’t always know what’s going on in someones life! Chin up… don’t lose ur best friend over this girl !!
I mean … you know her best, right? If you feel like it’s a issue… then it’s your friend… confront her. Would she be upset if all of a sudden you stopped attending for her kids ?
I’m not going to say you’re over reacting … cause you make a valid point on her schedule. I mean if she just Said… naw… I’d respect that more then making a poor excuse. Like I said tho. You know her best. Is that a response she’d give if she was dodging someone? Orrrr like has she worked every let’s say Sunday already and you don’t think she will be in 2 Months … but she knows forsure that she will be then okay… leave it be … either way you look at it … how much do you like your friend? Is it worth throwing 11 years away for a childs birthday that the youngin won’t remember anyways
your life girl, choose how you please.
That’s crazy letting your friendship go over this.Yes you are overreacting
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Recent friendship ruined for the same reason. People who show up, matter.
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Grow the eff up. Seriously.
Overreacting…
If she cant come, she cant…she can come to next birthday…or the next…
But complaining about not attending 1 birthday and pointing out that you went to birthdays, recitals etc sounds very insincere in a genuine friendship
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I’ve had to miss my friends kids birthdays because they were on scheduled work days for me during our busy season at work. Maybe she just really can’t take the day off.
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Instead of ending your relationship can you have a conversation with her? It doesnt have to be an argument. Just tell her how you feel and let her know how important it is to you for her to be there. I think you’ll regret it in the future if you end your relationship over this.
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Why are you keeping score like that? Wierd.
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If I missed a day of work bills would pile. Yes. Overreacting. In fact I’d end it myself if my friend couldn’t understand
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If you’re friend won’t make time for you don’t make time for her.
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Tell her ur sad and see if u swap the day would it b better, see what her thoughts are
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Why would you ruin the relationship over that, is the relationship not as important to you, I have best friend for three times that time, never attended many birthday party’s over the years but she never held it against me, instead , she would pop by later with cake and we would have coffee and a chat, just let it go, not everyone can afford to take time from work.
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I wouldn’t end your friendship but I would not go outta your way to attend her events
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The thing you need to understand is that your child’s 2nd birthday party IS NOT as important to her as it is to you. Grow up and get over it. Life is busy and messy.
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I’m speechless at how dumb of a statement this is
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From now on don’t go to any of her kids stuff. Easy peasy. She did you a favour. And no you’re not wrong for feeling upset about this. Your friend is rude!!
Well I mean if you always work the same days then you know your schedule. Also some people can’t afford to take time off and then be expected to buy a gift on-top of already booking a day off.
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Some people really can’t afford to miss work… because of bills. don’t make her feel like crap about it. Yeah it sucks but you don’t know what’s going on… NONE of my friends have EVER showed up to my kids’ parties… My oldest will be turning 6 this year. It’s always ONLY been immediate family that shows up and that’s it… even though they’ve always been invited. I didn’t rip their heads off over it. I just kept on rolling. Things happen, people get busy, people do have their own lives. My heart did hurt for my babies but reality is, not everyone can always show up or be there. Even if they really wanna be. Not everyone can put their own lives or responsibilities on hold for you.
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sometimes you don’t know how you feel on the day 
Even if it was your birthday party this would be overreacting. Missing a birthday party is not worth ending a friendship. But if a friend got this upset over me missing a birthday party, I’d probably be pretty done with the friendship, myself. When people keep a record of what they’ve done for me and later hold it against me, that’s a sign they didn’t do it to support me or my family… they did it to benefit themselves.
Talk to her maybe she can’t get it off. She what the Issue is…might not be anything at all. Tell her you try to come to all her functions. Idk. Communication is the key.
Yep you get used to it that’s why having friends is a joke.
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My husbands schedule is set 3 months at a time
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Maybe she does have to work that day. Most places have a pretty much set schedule. Maybe she knows someone will be on vacation and she’ll be working more that week. Calm yourself. Your 1 year old won’t remember it anyway. And remember not everyone can make their life evolve around yours.
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Don’t be so available. Longevity in friendship lasts because expectations ease up. As long as she loves and treats your children proper, cool. But this seems for you, not the child. Stop going to EVERYTHING also…take a break.
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Well can she afford to take off or have enough pto??
You mentioned she has kids. Plural. I’ve put off taking time off because my kid may get sick and I want to save my PTO for the god forbids and what if’s in life. I’m willing to take it when I’m over a certain threshold for the fun in life. Maybe that’s going on.
Maybe she knows she has to take work off elsewhere that week and will be scheduled that day.
Maybe she can’t afford to miss work.
Maybe work has black our days at that time. Even McDonalds gave me blackout days.
Maybe she already committed to something else and doesn’t want to offend you.
My best friend since I was in 2nd grade and I try to attend each others kids birthdays. But we don’t expect the other to attend. Expectations lead to resentments.
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Maybe she has something special planned for the day and wants it to be a surprise 
Seriously, you’d end a friendship because of this?
If you feel something is wrong you should ask her like an adult , coming from a space of love and understanding
Instead you are behaving like a spoilt child and looking for conflict …
you can choose to understand or take affront
RegardLess, be an adult and ask her if she is okay… you may not really know what’s going on until you ask
True friendships are not about what one does more for the other, they’re about being the best version of you that you can be and being supportive to others
I’ve friends I’ve not seen I over ten years, we don’t always call or what ever but we are friends decades later … we don’t take each other for granted and we support from afar … that’s what friendship is …
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Wow entitled much.
You going to stuff is your choice.
I don’t even make it to my niece’s and nephews parties as they were growing up. Because I had to work.
Ifs it’s that big of deal sit down and talk to the friend. Maybe she does have to work and you could switch the day of the party to a day she doesn’t work so she can come.
You would end a friendship over this? Your child is two, they won’t even remember if she was there or not!
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I would not take time off of work for a birthday party.
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This is stupid to end a friendship over a two year olds. birthday.
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I feel like maybe your friend has her own life in full swing and her family is super busy. There’s a multitude of legit reasons she could have, so speculation isn’t advisable. If you think this will end your friendship, then take care to use caution in your approach. However, she’s the one you should speak to about it. She’s the only one who can truthfully answer you.
The 2-year-old will not remember this birthday. You have to let some slide, even a close friend may have something she doesn’t wish to share & is trying to spare your feelings.
Willing to end a friendship over missing one event? Your friend will probably be better off 
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Sounds like it would be a win for her to have someone as entitled as you out of her life. People don’t have to be at every event your kid is having. Just because you decide to dosent mean others are obligated to do the same. You don’t know what she has planned in 2 months, maybe there is something happening at work that she needs to be there for. I have a event for work starting this weekend and lasting about a month and a half. I’ve known about it for 6 months. My boss would never approve for me to take a day off during that time unless it was a good reason. A kids birthday party is not a good enough reason. Your kid won’t even know or care she’s not there.
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That’s your problem right there. Expecting everyone to stop their adult lives to attend children’s parties🙄
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First of all, if you do something nice for someone, i.e., attend all of their children’s birthday parties, you do it out of love. Therefore, expecting NOTHING in return. If you’re going to throw said nice thing back at them, don’t do it all. Second, maybe she just doesn’t like children’s birthday parties. Especially, two year olds. I’m sure she’ll show up for future events for your fantastic child as they get older. And if you’re really contemplating ending the friendship over this, perhaps you’re the one who isn’t the good friend. Shame on you. I’d end friendships over drug use, sleeping with my husband, stealing, or talking behind my back, but not this.
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I would definitely not end a friendship over one missed party. However if I’m there for every single party and they never show up to not one! Better believe I will not be attending a single event no matter what it is. That would not even be considered a friend, but a few odd events spread out understandable.
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Sounds like a one-sided friendship. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to remain friends with someone who doesn’t reciprocate the time and effort put into the friendship.
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Maybe instead of her celebration that day see if she can come another day and make it a special day for your son.
Also, is she short on money for a present for him and is embarrassed to tell you?
She might have issues she is dealing with. Be her friend and ask if everything is OK.
There are other days and ways to celebrate the birthday but you only have one way to keep the friendship true…open your heart to her.
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how do you know her work schedule? I have a friend who gets their schedule 3 months in advance… maybe your friend noticed that you’re getting upset over something so trivial, seems kind of childish
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Just accept it… its not like your son will remember her being there or not. You might, but it’s not about you.
#1 maybe she is mad @ you # 2 maybe she doesn’t have money for a gift. # 3 she is just a bitch. lol
Two months in advance is absolutely rude.
I’ve dealt with that kind of friend before too, I’d break my back to be there for them/join for events/come help them in whatever way they needed, but in a decade they never treated me with the same type of care, just a very selfish person, if this type of behaviour is consistent from her then yeah the friendship will probably eventually need to end, if it’s not a normal thing for her then just tell her exactly how you feel, cause you have every right to be hurt about this
The people in these comments have obviously not dealt with a decade long one sided friendship before, yes this is absolutely something you can very reasonably end a friendship over