Wait there are women like this!!!
Maybe she knows she won’t have any time available to ask for the day off. It could be anything.
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If the child was older I’d under but the child is 2 and not even remember who did or did not show.
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If missing a party ends your friendship, you aren’t that great of a friend. I have missed countless birthday parties and my best friend would NEVER hold that against me. Let it go, ask her if she would be available another day to celebrate your little even if it’s not on the party day.
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This sounds like a child response to an adult situation. It may be a one time thing, and as an adult you should be understanding. Your kiddo is 2, and as such doesn’t care. If it becomes a pattern, then a conversation is warranted. Otherwise, you are tossing away over a decade of friendship for pettiness.
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Do you know if she can afford to miss work for a party? Petty af if you end an 11 year friendship over missing one birthday party. What else do you overreacted for.
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Maybe just take a deep breath and a step back. Maybe your friend has other issues going on in her life right now that she is not sharing with you. Maybe it might be money is tight. Please give her her space. If you do it will make things less awkward and if she feels comfortable she will return your friendship. If not you will have your answer without causing a lot of drama and damage. Take it easy on her and yourself.
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Do you know if she can afford to miss work for a party? Petty af if you end an 11 year friendship over missing one birthday party. What else do you overreacted for.
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Dumb thing to end a friendship over. Maybe she doesn’t have time off available? My job will fire you if you just don’t show up so I can’t just do whatever I want. 
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I don’t always make it to my best friend of 27 years kid’s birthdays. She knows I also have a life and children to support. Her son’s last bday I had to work, I needed the money and she understood completely. I don’t know if it something to be super upset about but it also depends on the dynamic of you all’s friendship.
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Maybe she doesn’t want to take the day off for it. I really don’t think it’s a big thing if she has to work. But I wouldn’t be going out of your way to attend her kids things anymore.
I wouldn’t let the friendship end due to this if its a great one, also you should stop going for the kids,its not their fault Mom isn’t returning the favor.
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That’s ridiculous that you would end a friendship over a missed birthday party. Maybe she can’t afford to miss work. You don’t know what’s going on in her personal or financial life. You sound petty.
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Give the same energy back 
My best friend would not expect me to book time off/miss work for their child’s birthday. Their have been countless reasons where I’ve RSVP’d and had to cancel and she always understands, and the same goes for me. You need to realize shit happens and things don’t always work out the way you want them to. This isn’t worth ruining a friendship but quite frankly if I was your friend and that’s how you felt I wouldn’t want to be anymore. You sound like you have some growing up to do 
Let her know it’s important to YOU to have her there & ask her to consider taking off
People have issues these days with a lot of situations & maybe she just can’t commit to it right now, no reason to end a friendship…
We all have our issues to sort out one time or another 
Extend some love & grace for your Bestie 
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Omg girl! You really are over-reacting! You have the right to be upset about that but please don’t end your friendship over that! She needs money and everyone just don’t see children’s party that important. Just try to understand.
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Well, I think this is petty. With the raising cost of everything. She might not be able to afford to take a day off.
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You are being ridiculous 
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I’m sorry but I can’t stop laughing after "avaialblke"
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ya over reacting alooottttt.
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Are you always available because you are a STAHM/not working? Or do you specifically take time off from work etc & make special arrangements/plans/time to attend her kids events?
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Wow. You would ruin an 11 year friendship just because your friend can’t make it to your child’s birthday party. You sound petty and childish. Maybe your friend can’t afford to miss work.
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If you end a friendship of 11 years over this you might want to seek help in figuring out what internal issues you have.
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If you’re doing it only so she does it back then you aren’t attending her events for the right reasons. And to say the friendship will end for what sounds like the first time she won’t be available you are a friend of convenience.
Their loss not you’re .
Alright how about you try explaining to her how much it means to you and your kid for her going. I get it from both but try seeing it from her perspective as well as explain it to her so she can see it from yours
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The friendship that can cease to exist was never real in the first place. If you’re willing to cut your friend out of your life over a birthday party then you were never much of a friend to begin with.
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Kinda fucked up that she can’t come to your kids party even after work when you go to hers after work
My best friend didn’t go to my sons bday party when she said she would. Her and I are still besties. We are adults now don’t let it ruin ur friendship.
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Shes not rude for working, instead of going to your kids 2nd birthday party. If it’s that important to you for her to be there…make it at a day and time that she’s not working. Rude of you to expect her to miss work and lose out on money, when times are this tough. But I’ll also add…stop making yourself available for ALL of her kids events if it’s gonna make you feel some type of way that she can’t or won’t do the same. I could’ve empathized a bit, had it not been for you suggesting your kids birthday party (that they won’t even remember) is more important than her job.
How old is your child? Maybe your child is a brat and she doesn’t enjoy being around her.
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Then end the friendship 
why post and ask opinions . It’s stupid. Life happens ppl have to miss things. At least she told you this far ahead and NOT last second. That’s a sighn of respect j.s. middle school is long over kiddo.
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That is rude but I wouldn’t end the friendship I’d just never go to any of their party’s, etc., Again. If she asks for you to show up to anything just say you’re busy every time
Stop going to all of her kids things then🤷🏻♀️
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I have a friend of over 15 years that does this as well. I just didn’t invite her to my daughter’s party this year! It’s not that serious and I’m not going to waste my energy on being mad over this. There are bigger problems
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Your child is 2 and will never remember this birthday. Perhaps your friend doesn’t like children’s parties. Perhaps there is something else coming up that she wants to use time off for. Do you go to her children’s events for the kids or for her?
Maybe she really cant attend.
I have friends that don’t make to my son’s parties and it’s ok, we are still friends. She may need to not take days off for something bigger than a child’s birthday.
Missing a day of work means no pay. I think you’re being unreasonable. She may need to save her days off for her kids.
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Has she used her days up at work. I ask because my work is real good about letting us off if we ask in advance… If we have days available. If you’re out of PTO and run through your extra 3 or whatever they normally give you, you get fired.
It must not be a strong friendship if you are willing to end it over a birthday party that she isn’t attending. That’s petty in my opinion. Maybe she has something else planned, maybe she doesn’t want to be around a bunch of 2 year olds. Whatever the case, it’s not a reason for ending your friendship.
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I don’t think that she’s mad about her friend missing the party, she’s mad that her friend doesn’t even want to try. She stated the party isn’t for another two months and if the friend at the time is working then I’m sure she would understand. I don’t think she wants to lose her friendship but these situations get frustrating when one side prioritizes more. I think you should communicate with her and understand why she would answer this quickly when the party isn’t for another two months. Explain to her how it makes you feel, calmly.
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It’s weird she said no months out before she has her schedule 
She could of just said if I have it off or able to take it you know ill be there. Even if she wasn’t planning on truly coming. I guess on a positive note at least she’s not two face about it 
Financially can she afford to miss work . I get it’s your kids party but there may be more to it on her end .
I do not think your ove reacting. About being upset I do not think that this will end your friendship unless ya’ll allow it to
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Ummm what?
that’s a bit dramatic! If you’re ready to end a friendship for her not attending a party for your 2 year old then yeah… I would probably be glad not to be “your friend”
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I’m sure there’s there’s more context.
I had a “friend” who was like this.
If there was an adult party, alcohol or coke, you bet she’d be there.
She didn’t come to my baby shower, even though it was planned a couple months in advance. She had the day off already, but her work called her to ask if she can cover for someone…even though it was her day off, she didn’t have to go, and she had said she’d attend my baby shower, she said yes to going in. She didn’t show up the day he was born even though she was 20 mins away at the time, wasn’t at ANY of my sons birthday parties either. She just didn’t care about him or anything that was important to me. Eventually I cut her off…(not just because she didn’t attend my childs parties) But because she was toxic af in so many ways and it was starting to affect my self confidence…self worth…etc.
It’s hard to believe I ever thought this person was my friend.
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This is the same situation for me and my best friend she didn’t come to my baby shower or any of his parties, told me she can’t come to this years. I threw her baby shower and helped with her first birthday even, we do live 3.5 hours from each other but it was always me making the effort. I don’t as much any more and just assume she isn’t coming. Our friendship has changed but there’s a lot of other factors as well.
I totally get your feelings and they are valid. I would just say okay and go about the party without her. You child will have an amazing day regardless. 
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Try talking to your friend and let her know your feelings are hurt that she isn’t coming to the party. Maybe these things aren’t as important to her as it is to you. don’t lose a friendship over a missed party.
Wow, okay so you are being so extremely childish. No one is begging you or forcing you to attend every single thing her children do, and if you’re doing it so she’ll do the same for your child, you’re the one who’s a bad friend, not her, because you’re doing it for personal gain, not for her babies. 2nd some jobs, no matter how far in advance you request TO, it doesn’t mean they’ll give you Time off, also a child’s, who isn’t yours, birthday party, isn’t a reason to call off work. Grow up,and stop whining about it. Girls like you are why women like me, have VERY few girlfriends. And lastly, if you’re going to end a friendship, an 11 year friendship at that, over the fact that homegirl has a job and can’t make it, she deserves better friends than you anyway 
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It’s money, missing a day of pay AND having to buy a gift, it’s just asking a lot from people anymore…it would be nice if she would have just been honest though
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Ask her why. There may be some reason you’re not aware of that’s causing her to say no. Don’t go into the conversation as the injured party playing the victim. You need to find out what’s going on with your friend. Never expected my friends to be at every single function my children had. They had their children, their lives and obligations. Tbh I didn’t want to attend every single function my children (4) had! There were too many. I suspect there’s something deeper at play here. If you value your friendship then you need to find out what’s going on. My guess is the birthday party isn’t the problem.
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You said your friend has kids maybe she realizes that the age difference makes a difference to her and her kids and doesn’t want to make a big deal with it or maybe she doesn’t want to take the time away from her kids and the things she does with them you don’t know everything she is going through just just like she doesn’t know with you I mean my man I been with for 7 years now don’t know what stress I fully go through
Obviously you,and your child are not important. Move on.
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Not much of a drama queen are you. You are willing to end a friendship over a birthday party SMH
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Even if she just doesn’t want to go, so what? People are allowed to say no to things they don’t want to do and they’re allowed to not like doing all the same things as you. If this is a problem for you that’s okay, but you need to understand that is all it is - a problem for You. Figure out how to address it within yourself before you consider telling someone else they’re wrong.
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Treat yourself the way you treat others. But don’t be surprised when they don’t reciprocate. Save your energy… do a day trip for a second bday… hell with a party
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i mean i’m in the same situation. i got super close with my best friends kids, used to watch them on days off for damn near two years straight and things went south one day and haven’t been 100% right since. she’s came to my kids stuff since then, but i almost feel out of place even being present around her kids. the vibe feels weird. her middle daughter will give me a hug and i can almost feel her mom glaring right through me. i don’t know what to tell ya on it. I wouldn’t end a friendship based off of someone not being able to come to a party, but i do understand the hurt that would probably come with it.
Whats the rest of the story???Maybe she doesnt have time off. Some people can estimate their schedule is its the same rotating days., so maybe she does have to work. You sound like a child yourself wanting to end a relationship over something so minor. Sounds like she needs a new friend.
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You can’t take everything to heart like that, people are going to miss parties. You’re being way over dramatic. Do you throw fits when you don’t get your way? Hopefully someone let’s her know, you’re not her real friend. You’re ready to ditch her over something super petty. Just because you attend things for her kids does not mean she can’t miss one of your events. People have lives, jobs, kids, hobbies.
Yes, overreacting!!! Maybe she really needs the money. I would not take off a Saturday work for a birthday party. Unless it was Grandma’s 100th or a funeral or something very important
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Something similar happened to me with my “best friend” from age 16 – I had my son at age 25 and she actually refused to hold him. I just brushed that off at the time as maybe she feels weird holding a tiny baby? even though it did bother me. But unfortunately it continued, she never wanted to interact with him, even when his little self would try to play with her and talk to her. As he got to age 2 she continued to act like he was just in the way. When she got pregnant, it was suddenly all about her child… And I was excited too. I loved her kid and would buy things, go to events just BE THERE. she never did the same for my son.
He is and always was a gentle, affectionate, sweet little boy, never off the wall crazy or anything so I never understood that behavior from her. When her daughter got a bit older she started to team up on my son with any and everything she thought he did when they would play, It was horrible… So we haven’t spoken in 10 years now and honestly I don’t miss her anymore. That is NOT a real friend at all and sadly never was. You grow and change and see people for who they are. The ones that stay true through thick and thin are the only ones to be a true friend for life. You have your child, devote everything to them and try not to worry about anyone else and what they choose not to do. You do YOU 
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Nope I agree you are not overreacting. People have become more self centered etc bla bla bla, seriously, what’s important in your life should be considered by your friend. Years and years ago I ended a friendship b/c I babysat a friends child (we saw each other alot). It was my birthday and she ran in, got her kid, said gotta run and was gone. I don’t usually make a big deal of my birthday, but it just was more seeing the kind of person she was. There’s so little consideration for others feelings these days. And the lack of RSVP’S when you do have a kids party!!! I’m sure I sound really old school but if you have to pay for each kids then most don’t let you know then some show up anyway and maybe with siblings too??? RUDE just rude.
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She has shown you where you and your child are on her list of priorities. You either lower your expectations of her or move on from the friendship. I just went through this with a friend… it never got better, no matter how many chances I gave her. I lowered my expectations and somehow became the bad guy. I’d move on if I were you. Save yourself the drama.
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No adult WANTS to go to a 2yr olds bday party unless they have a lil kid. Welcome to mom life, you will lose friends. Its just how it is.
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Most schedules are consistent maybe she can’t miss work because things are going up and she has no choice but to not miss work!
Why on gods green earth would this end a friendship?
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Adults usually have zero interest in attending birthday parties for kids. Invite kids her age. The party is for her not you.
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Maybe there is someone else who is invited that she doesn’t get along with, and to avoid any problems she is stepping aside. I would talk to her
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Your choice to attend them things. Have you talked to her? Not everyone can afford to take a day off especially if that day includes spending money. Personally I’d drop you like a bad habit if you can’t respect someone not attending your event. And just FYI they owe you no explanation either. They can’t make it. That’s life.
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Wow I got no words for this one
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You are overreacting, life happens. Things come up sometimes. Be gracious to your friend 
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Don’t make your self readily available for her. Not every one gives you the same energy and time you give them
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I don’t even have a word for how you sound right now. Mad because your friend has to work/can’t take off work/ can’t afford to take off work for your kids birthday party. Get over yourself. Both of yall have your own lives. It’s nice that you make time for all her get together but you can’t be mad that for whatever reason she can’t make it to 1 party. There will be more parties
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Adults have their own lives to worry about. You’re being toxic
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If someone asked me even 3 months in advance I’d have to say no because my schedule is always the same. Maybe you can make the party on one of her days off if possible? Also, talk to her and let her know how you are feeling… If my best friend was thinking I’m being rude, I’d wanna know so I could explain the situation or work through it.
If missing a birthday party can jeopardize your friendship, SHE needs to find new friends.
You should not do stuff expecting the same in return, she is telling you in advance that she can’t make it and you are throwing a tantrum over that .
Maybe she can not miss work or can’t afford it .
I will not miss a day of work to attend anyone birthday neither.
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You need to lower your expectations 
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I’m the friend that would say ‘I have to work that day’. Why? Because my work is based on contract and I’m required to be present. I commit to it a year in advance. If it’s in my schedule, I’m working. if my friends can’t respect that, then I guess the friendship won’t work.
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Maybe she’s jealous of you and what you do or maybe she can’t do what you do for your children so she doesn’t want to show up. Ask her yourself that’s an idea
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I don’t see why she has to be there. In sure she wouldn’t expect you to be at ALLLLLL of her childrens events either. Pretty foolish
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Get over yourself. NO one should have to take a day off work (and maybe she really needs to work or is unable to take off) to go to your child’s bday party
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The phrases used here make me think this is a last straw situation. It sounds like subconsciously you see the friendship being one sided
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Young one- never expect someone to feel or act the way you want. You only set yourself up for disappointment. With that being said - maybe you should just let it go. Next time she has something let it go.
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Your child won’t remember their second birthday. Let it go.
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No I don’t feel Luke you should be upset. What if fincially she knows she can’t take off? You shouldn’t be in her business no matter if you are her best friend or not. And you don’t have to be at every single thing for her either, she should understand you have a life too. You can still be friends and not go to every single thing each other plans.
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Don’t end it because she doesn’t want to go to a party in 2 months, she may not know if she has it off and if she’s able to take the time off for the party. Maybe once it gets closer to it like a monthish and then reask her if she’s not coming still or is because you need to know for sure so you can order/make a cake or two for the party.
How do you know she doesn’t have schedule.
Also you say “she can easily take it if that far in advance” depends completely on her job.
I have to give at least a month notice and even then they can say no and IF it gets approved they can call us back pretty much last minute.
Also, I’d you’re willing to end a friendship that’s been there over a decade over ONE missed party then I reckon it’s not as good of a friendship as you’re making out it is
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I’m gonna be honest, I don’t change my schedule for other people’s plans.
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Well looks like she has kids so why not invite her kids and have them over while she’s at work. I’m sure you’re completely right but voice this concern of yours to her. It’s okay to be upset but don’t let it grow and keep growing without doing something about it. Not all of us have 11 yr old friendships. 
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yes, i think that u are being to self fish about this - other people do have there own lives to lead also - if your friend has to work to make a living and may of forgotten about your child’s b-day to worry about it -there is always more special events !
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Wow how old are you to get upset she can’t make it to one party seriously yall grown yall have your own lives to deal with maybe she really can’t take off of work and you acting like a little kids crying because she can’t come to your child’s birthday party grow up
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I have four kids the oldest one being 19 getting ready to turn 20 and the youngest one just turned seven. There have been plenty of parties over the years where my best friend that I’ve known since I was six has not been able to make it. The same for her kids she has two that are close in age and sometimes I’m not able to make it to her kids party. Life happens. I understand you said you gave a few months advance notice but there are some people I know who work schedule is that far out in advance. A company that my husband used to work for you had to put all of your time in that you needed for the rest of the year by February. That excludes sick days. Once your days were in unless something major came up you could take your name off but you couldn’t put your name on other days. It sucks but your friendship wasn’t built around your kids birthday parties not trying to sound mean honestly I’m not. don’t lose a friendship just because she can’t come to your kids party.
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No you’re not. Stop being so available to her. Tell her how you feel.
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You don’t have to stop being friends, but like she said above, stop being so available. Things I’ve learned growing up is that just because you do something for others, doesn’t meant they have to do it for you, or even want to. She might not want to come. She might be planning something else and doesn’t want to take off that day. ALTHOUGH…if she really wanted to, she could switch her days off. Just back off from her, or tell her how you really feel.
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Perhaps she really does need to work that day because she has bills and can’t afford a gift to give your child for the birthday.
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Oh Lord have mercy, Really??? At least she told you she can’t come, Get over it
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