I’m a smoker & he needs to smoke outside! I literally cannot STANDDD my clothes house blankets walls ANYTHING smelling like cigarettes. I grew up in a house with heavy smokers and smelled like cigarettes all the time, I hated it. Not only is it an unhealthy habit, they smell disgusting. That is so so gross and sooo unhealthy I would snapppppp
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It’s not right, but ultimately it’s their home. I would move.
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Get your own place and problem will be solved. Can’t tell people what to do in their home.
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I understand your frustration, however, it is THEIR home and can do what they like in their own home. That doesn’t make it right…but that is the situation. If you want things to be exactly as you’d wish, it is time to start looking into getting your own place when possible. For the time being, I would ask politely if he can “try” and smoke outside for the baby’s sake.
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I agree for the concern but the 2nd and 3rd hand smoke will still make its way to your son with a smoker in the house. In my opinion. In order to keep the exposure at almost null you have to move.
I mean if the state knew there was cigarette smoking going on in the house with a new born baby especially in the same room cps would be knocking at your door.
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It’s not right but its their home. We had a hurricane and had to stay w fam . I also had a nicu baby they smoked and I was so mad but it’s was not my house so I couldn’t do anything ab it.
Move out. Good grief, move out.
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You could always move out problem solved xxx
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I wouldn’t live there. Chances of SIDS is increased when a baby is around secondhand smoke.
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Their house their rules🤷🏼♀️ They’re old school and that’s how they roll can’t expect someone to stop doing something in their home when you could get your own! I know it’s a dick move but it is what it is they own their house so they earned that right and when you own yours you can say no smoking when they come over and visit! Good luck!
My dad died in his 70s because of second hand smoke. His mom smoked and my dad never did. The Drs thought my dad smoked he had aneurysms I think my dad would have still been alive if he wasn’t exposed to smoke. I was around it too when I was younger. So protect your baby.
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You’re talking to the wrong person about this issue and as much as it sucks to hear, you’re putting your husband in an awkward situation. His dad has probably always smoked in the house and since they have welcomed you to stay with them he probably thinks it isn’t his place to tell his parents what they can and can’t do in their house since you guys aren’t paying the bills. I’m not saying it’s right at all, and his dad walking outside isn’t asking too much especially since it’s about all of your guys health. Clearly getting your husband to talk to his dad about this isn’t going to happen, you need to talk to his dad about this. Explain to him how unhealthy it is for his grandson to be exposed to cigarette smoke. If he really cares about him he’ll smoke outside when he’s working in the basement.
This is just wrong they should go outside to smoke. You never smoke near children
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I agree with you 
. I would move if I could. I would also invest in an air purifier & keep the windows open. Ughhhh I hate smoke
I would be concerned too but it’s not your house. If he wants to smoke in his basement he can, no matter how nasty it is. 
it sounds like soon you’ll have the walls you need! Until then maybe spend more time upstairs or outside while doing laundry every five minutes. Maybe look into getting an air purifier?
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That’s so bad for your baby… I would definitely be mad too. You really need to move out of their home. Even having a separate room that ppl smoke in isn’t good. It gets in the air vents and goes all over the house.
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Nobody should be smoking in the house period.
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It’s sad that they are not thinking about their Grandchild. I wouldn’t want the cigarette smoke around my kid, either, but it’s their home, and they can do what they want in their own home. I would move.
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I would start saving to move out he probably keeps doing it to make u uncomfortable so you won’t plan on staying I hope you guys are saving my advice get a air purifier those scented candle odoban clean your air that is so unsafe I would start playing YouTube videos of what second hand smoke would do to a new born than he might get the hint that outside is better for him
My ex and his mom would smoke in the house and try and like stand inside by a cracked door and call it good. I lost my mind on them multiple times about how the smell lingers and sticks to everything and it took a lot of arguing for them to stop. Cigarettes are absolutely disgusting and make an entire home stink I hate them 
100% not ok! Speak to him and tell him for the babies sake he can’t smoke in doors! Smoking indoors is gross anyways. It is however his house so if he won’t listen then moving is really your only option.
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Your father in law grew up in a time when smoking was labeled as harmless. He may not be up to date on the true modern impact it can have on a baby. I wouldn’t want my child or his belongings exposed to the smoke for many reasons. You have to be considerate of the fact that you are in someone else’s home who has the right to freely do as they want. You are going to have to hustle and find your own place.
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Of course limiting exposure is importance… People are so quick to jump on smoking because it’s a visible target. Replace smoking with using household cleaners or fabric softener ect… do you feel the same way?
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I would speak to them about this that you are concerned for your child. If you can’t move then get an hepa air purifier to help reduce the smoke particles. Good luck!
Oh no, he can at least me respectful of the child and smoke outside
Well you and baby and Henry could always move if you dont like the smoke you moved into thier house it don’t matter if it’s a baby or an adult second hand smoke isn’t good for anyone. The baby will still get third hand smoke from anyone holding baby that smokes because it lingers on clothing
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Let me put it this way. My grandparents smoked all their lives. Car windows rolled yo and all!
My momma and her sister got cancer. My mom had stage 3c Brest cancer/double mastectomy, lived another 12 years and cancer came back in her brain, spinal fluid/spine and her bones and passed in 6 weeks. I’ve been without her 2.5 years now and it’s the hardest thing ever! Her younger sister got cancer in between her (about 10 years after first cancer and 2 years before my momma was re diagnosed and passed) both of them had health issues for a lot of their lives.
It will impact the life of your baby!
My hubby was a social smoker when we met but he wanted to quit. I told him I wouldn’t be in a relationship/invest in. Relationship/marry a smoker because I would t have kids in or around smokers. He quit for good and is so happy he did.
If he really wants to, he can stop. But he has to WANT to, to actually do it!
Do NOT read so your child’s healthy!!! Do what you have to to protect him.
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Move, protect that baby
All you can do is start saving to move as soon as you can. You absolutely can’t make people stop smoking in their own home. I know it’s not good for your baby. As soon as the wall is up, get an air purifier and wash all the baby’s stuff. Ask your hubby not to smoke in that space. Let him read the stuff you read about smoking. I’m not sure what to tell you about your own place once you move. Getting your husband not to smoke inside there may be quite a challenge unless your new landlord won’t let you smoke inside.
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I cannot stand cigarette smoke! 
I woukd move, as you cannot ask his parents to stop its their home.
He could try to be a little more understanding of your concerns but it is his home. The only real answer is moving away.
Sounds like you can’t afford to be too choosy at the minute
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Actually Henry needs to get his act together and get you guys a place.
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You need to plan on moving. Idk how old you guys are and what your situation is but you’re fighting an uphill battle and you guys just need to save money and get out. My ex (bd) and I lived with his friends when I had my first. The deal was (before I had him) that they would stop smoking inside the house. Well you can guess that that didn’t happen. They would crack a window ect so I understand how frustrating and stressful it is. But after seeing that my baby wasn’t going to be in as healthy environment as planned I had to compromise and cave so that my baby was in the best safest place possible and that was NOT the house we started in. Of course you want what’s best for your son but it’s not your house and you’re not in charge and you hoping pleading expecting them to change their way of doing things is just going to bring more issues for you. Just trust me and try to get out asap. 
Nobody should ever smoke in the house where there are kids. Doesn’t matter how big the house is anyways.
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Well!!! There’s nothing that you can do because you are living in theirs house , you need to find a place and move with your baby
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Smoking around that child is very dangerous
Shame on them they should care
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You are not overreacting
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Girl. Your an adult. Have a heart to heart with his dad and tell him your concerns. If he doesn’t respect them that’s his choice it’s his home. If your going to live there you have to put up with his rules even if you don’t like them. Get your own place and then you can have your own rules.
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If you have no where else to go. I would buy an air filter or two. There is a reason you moved in there in the first place. Probably for financial reasons. Not everyone can just move.
Yes, smoking indoors is very bad. But you also moved into someone else’s home. So try to keep the babu away from the smoke as much as possible. Keep the windows open and run the air filters constantly until you are in a better place where you can get your own place.
You moved in with them. It is their house, their rules. You cannot use your child to control them and the goings on in their house.
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it’s his parents house, so it’s their rules, if you don’t like it then move out!
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Third hand smoke is dangerous for kids, yes.
You are living in their home.
Until you move out, you just have to deal. You had a child and need to accommodate, not them. They are doing you a favor letting you stay there in the first place as you both are adults.
I felt the exact same way… I have lived in my home for 40 years and have NEVER allowed smoking of any kind… I protect my children.
Well you moved in with someone who smokes. And from the sounds of it have been smoking in the house before the son was born. When you move in with someone else you have to respect their rules and don’t demand rules to change for you. It’s the sad truth. You can’t use your child or your feelings to control what someone does in their home.
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Not overreacting but you’re gonna be fighting an endless battle since you’re in their house.
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Different generation.
You should be careful when staying in someone’s house. It sounds like they’re doing you guys a favor. I would tell you kindly to move out if the living situation isn’t to your liking. Of course you have a right to protect your baby, in your own home, you can enforce those kind of rules.
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Since its his home it’s almost impossible to get him and her to change. So keep that in mind but you’ll need to move away from that to get things your way.
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I don’t want to freak u out but one of the number one causes of SIDS is second and 3rd hand smoke. My husband once was smoking in the back bathroom with the window open and I could smell it in our bedroom he never smokes in the house I ripped his ass. You either need to move or have a talk with everyone bring the thing you read about it do more reading into it. But if I were you I would find a new place because even if they stop smoking all the tar ans smell is all over the walls and floors
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!
They said you could have that space… so make it your space and tell them you don’t want them smoking near or around your things…
You can add constant ear infections from smokers to the list… been there with my first born…(not me smoking) the other side.
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Get febreeze it really does help.
You should have never moved in with them if you thought it was going to be the problem. Honestly I think you’re overreacting a bit but to each their own it’s your baby so if you don’t like it move out it’s that simple nobody has to change their life just because you want them to they’re going to live their life the way they want to no different than you’re going to live your way you want to. You moved into their space so move out simple as that. You don’t need to be a pain in the ass obviously you’re never going to see eye to eye about it. And coming on to a social media site and asking questions like this is silly because you already know the answer.
You’re not over reacting but there is no reasoning with an addict. Your best bet is to move.
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You’re not wrong but unfortunately while you’re in their house they probably won’t budge on changing their ways. I hope your situation improves and you guys can get the healthy space you deserve
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Full disclosure im a smoker.i know 2. Adults that have been diagnosed with copd that have never smoked they were both exposed to 2nd hand smoke at a very young age.
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I wonder if he’s going to be down there once he finishes your living space. I would definitely talk TO THE DAD about not smoking at all down there. That’s all you can do. But yeah, like most of the others say, there really isn’t much you can do, until you get your own place. Sorry babe. It sucks but your relationship can’t fail over this!
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Their house not yours. Buy an air purifier.
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U live in there house its there rules I would say if u don’t like it move or get an air filter n defiantly Febreze
Yes. It’s their house. You can ask him nicely to not smoke downstairs but you can’t insist. Open the door and let it air out or buy an air purifier. You also can’t expect your SO to go and fight with his father about what he does in his house. While your staying with them, it’s unfortunately something you’re going to have to give on. When you get your own place it’ll be different. I would be grateful that they’re helping you guys and your baby by setting up a space for you all to stay and paying to have it set up so you have privacy and a nice space.
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Compromise and ask the dad to not smoke in the basement while putting up walls…get a humidifier to help with the clean air… your not gonna be able to tell them they can’t smoke in their house at all it’s never gonna happen…but sit them down and show them the research ( they probably won’t care) and tell them that you don’t want your babies stuff to smell like smoke for his health concerns.Etc. If they just say absolutely no then that’s something u just have to deal with. You can get one of those tubs with a lid and just put his stuff in there til y’all get it figured out and febreeze helps alot or put a dryer sheet in the tub with clothes…its not ideal but you gotta do what you gotta do. When u can move out, DO! dont let bf talk you in to staying any longer than u have to… and when you do have your own place you can make your own rules about who smoke’s in your house and around your child…
Just talk to the Grandpa. He’s old school and may not realize. I def wouldn’t want my baby’s things to smell like smoke, and I’m a smoker!
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I’d HATE this. And I do think they should want their grandkid to be healthy. BUT you are also in their home.
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That’s frustrating. I feel your side completely, the crappy part is that you really can’t do much as it’s their home and they are opening it up to let you guys stay there. Hopefully once the walls are put up you can set a firm ground rule. But I would definitely start leaving print outs casually around of what you’re learning , hopefully they will pick up on it. How long are you guys planning on staying with them?
Buy an air purifier 
you’re in their house. They can smoke wherever they want in it. If you can’t stand it then I suggest finding other living arrangements.
Obviously if she could just move out bc she doesn’t like the smoke she would and would not even post on here but most people can’t just move on a whim. They are there for a reason and moving does not sound like an option.
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Smoking has always been banned inside. My husband smokes outside. I could never live in a house where people smoke inside… that being said, I’d invest in a really good air purifier or two…
It’s their home. They atleast put it out when baby is near. Move out bottom line
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Their house their rules…sad but true! I dont smoke inside but other family .members smoke in theres…I cant demand they change its not my house! I do for us in our home and regardless he doesnt smoke in that area the smell and residue is there already probably long before you went to stay there
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I see it from both sides, it’s their house. So you can ask. But they don’t have to go outside… with that being said. I hate cig smoke and don’t want it around my kids. So I get where you’re coming from… they should respect you and their grandson enough to not do it around you guys. I’m sorry momma. I definitely think the best solution for all this is getting into your own place.
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The only thing you can do is get your own home. That’s their home.
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They absolutely shouldn’t be smoking in their house with a newborn. They should be outside. That’s not even overreacting, that’s just common sense for a baby in the house.
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Move out if you dont like it. Its his parents house if they want to smoke inside they can.
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Your not wrong for feeling the way you do. I’m a smoker with 2 children and I never smoke around my children. Period. I make sure I wash my hands and wish to god I had more will power to quit entirely… but I digress. Your in a shitty situation… unfortunately there is no real win here. All you can do is make the best of your situation. Maybe some totes and then seal the clothing inside a bag? And then an air purifier… marketplace has them online for pretty cheap. Wishing you luck if your planning to speak with them. Smokers don’t smell there smoke. So to us WE don’t notice it’s strength. Nor do most even care about the risks and harmful side effects.
I think them putting the cig out shows they are trying to be respectful 
anyways good luck and congratulations on your baby.
Its their house, but I would ask nicely if he wouldnt smoke there while baby is in the same room because of the exposure. I would be more worried about 2nd hand smoke exposure causing SIDS.
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I get this 100% and would not let anyone hold my child without changing and washing their hands and face after smoking. I definitely couldn’t have them in a room. If moving is not am option, have a heart to heart conversation and if that don’t work buy an air purifier and run it 24/7. Keep baby’s things in a plastic tote/bin.
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It’s 2022 you just found out smoking is bad ?
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Move asap, their house, they won’t change.
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I am a smoker, my son was 11 pounds at birth, daughter was 9.6. They are grown now and perfectly healthy. People are just so against it, they come up with some stupid stuff
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Not your home not your rules
People who smoke inside are nasty! That being said it’s his house so don’t be shocked if he gets annoyed you ask him to stop. You should probably find a home of your own so you can make all the rules.
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You moved into their home knowing that they smoke. You should have never moved in there if you were going to be this concerned you cannot make people do stuff that you want them to do in their own home. You need to move out.
Not over reacting. Even 3rd hand smoke can cause asthma and cancer!
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Yeah I’d be upset, smoke in general is bad and 2nd hand is worse, and yeah the smell gonna linger on your baby’s stuff
Move out asap, go to a shelter until you can find your own place, if your partner can’t support you then leave him too. It’s not about you “not liking his dad” it’s about you protecting your baby.
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Get your own place maybe…you can’t tell someone what to do in their own house lol 
my god woman sort it out 
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I’d be out of there! 
I live in a two-family house with my in laws. My father in law smoked and always respected our boundaries with it. Like he wouldn’t smoke in our part of the house or our car. If the kids were upstairs then he would reserve smoking for another room, but not the room they were in. You can’t do anything about the lingering smoke on his clothes or in their house.
They are building a room for you in THIER house and youre still not happy, did you not know they smoked when you showed up in the picture (doubtful) you the situation you were putting yourself in
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You are not overreacting, im a mom to a 5 month old I don’t let anyone smoke in my house or around my son and if they want to hold him after they had a cigarette they have to wash there hands, after I came home from the hospital I started smoking again and I smoke outside and I don’t smoke in my vehicle
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I’ve always been super strict about people smoking cigarettes around my kids.Its a hard no. He should respect that and I suggest just talking to grandpa about it because it is a serious thing. Explain it to him, show him the articles you read and hopefully he will respect you and the mother of his grandchild and not smoke around baby or his things
I always told people that if you can’t respect my choices for my child… you don’t need to see them. It is their house. But he is your child. Personally I’d pack up and leave. Henry can stay there. Protect your baby
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welcome to gaslighting country- you can share the articles you have read and hope the people around you care to read them. Then you can hope they care enough to do something about it like, not smoke around a new child. Something we all learned about in the 80’s. Good Luck.
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Smoking around a baby also increases the risk of SIDS, so I’d have the conversation or look at moving elsewhere.
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Just walking outside you can get diseases like cancer from vehicles that run on gas… So as long as he is not smoking around your son all you can do is air out your room. It’s not your house and you cannot move in someone’s house and make rules. If it’s a hard no for you then move out asap. Honestly I think you are overreacting. Yes amoking causing cancer but so does a lot of other things you can’t control. 
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You’re not over reacting. I’d be pissed too!
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While, it’s terrible that Henry’s dad smokes in the house with the baby, that’s out of your and Henry’s control because that is not your house. For now, I’d get some plastic Tupperware boxes to keep your child’s clothes in and an air filter and some plants for the basement until you can move into your own place and create/enforce your own rules. If you have windows in the basements, I’d definitely keep them open on nice days. Unfortunately, Henry cannot control what his parents’ do in their own house.
I would definitely pack up and leave. My child’s health is much more important, not to mention yours as well!
I also can not stand the smell of smoke and I do not want my stuff or me smelling of it. If you look up remodels of peoples houses who had previously been smoked in. The walls and everything in them are absolutely disgusting of residue from the smoke😬
Did you not know he smoked before moving in?
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Smoke travels through walls and it gets stuck on clothes, hair, skin and so on.
You need to move asap and everyone around him needs to quit smoking to protect him.
Harsh but true.
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