It kills me a little bit inside each time a woman believes she’s overreacting to complete and downright disrespectful asshattery
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Might seem strange, but go to a naturalist’s event alone or with him. You will see lots of people so many different body’s and see that they don’t judge anyone. I am yet to know which human body out of the billions is the perfect body. It’s the attitude of the person is either beautiful or ugly
Nothing worse than someone who lies to you. Call him out on his crap. Had he been truthful with you from jump my feelings would be different. I say turn the tables on his arse and watch hot men.
its called self esteem for a reason
I’m a woman and watch porn on occasion? And I love my (male) partner entirely. However, we are both incredibly open and trusting about what we’re into, etc so there isn’t anything hidden. Try talking to him about it with an open mind 
it won’t be personal at all and I’m confident it won’t affect how he feels towards you xx
As long as he’s just looking and not acting on it … yes it sucks but your body has changed because of having kids. I can’t stand men that expect a woman to look like a 21yr old, granted some women can have 5 kids and bounce back, reality is that most don’t.
Soooo find yourself, learn to be happy with you, that’s not his job, even though he could be more supportive if he loves you.
But girl, find, and learn to love yourself. Treat yourself to a spa day, get a hair cut, color or whatever, but do it for YOU, don’t expect him to notice or compliment you. If he doesn’t notice you, that’s his loss!
“I am WOMAN hear me roar!!” Be true to YOURSELF!! you are awesome! Good luck! 
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He equates women including you as sex. He doesnt have any depth or integrity. If you stay you’ll be agreeing to his behaviour. Up to you but I know what I’d do.
Let him know it makes you feel the way it does
If he cares he’ll do something to make you feel more comfortable
I’ve had 1 baby but pregnant twice
Still working off baby fat, 3 years later
Work on yourself, start a workout routine and let him watch the babies as he has all of this time to be online oogling other women. You can not change anyone but you and self esteem comes from within. While he says one thing he is doing another. Do something regardless of what it is to feel better about you.
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Curious as to how you found out all this info but personally id be upset and wouldnt be finishing what porn started
Youve obviously discussed this and he’s lied …id want to know why and what his problem is but lying is a deal breaker for me
How do YOU feel about it? Is that ok with YOU? A man like that will never change. If you are not ok with it, then you must leave. Accept that you have a man that will ALWAYS be looking for something more than you or move on. My daughter went thru the same thing, it really bothered her so she finally ended it and she was glad she did.
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This is a you problem. Your self esteem is not his responsibility. It is yours. Get counseling. Not for his “porn” problem but, YOU issues.
Watching porn and masturbation is completely different than being intimate with somebody. He shouldn’t have to lie about it honestly. So many negative comments here about that kind of man, I guess I’m awful too because I enjoy pornography…not because I’m not satisfied with partner, not because I don’t think he’s attractive.
Its porn like for christ sakes hes still with you and not some other girl get over it and put out more often and i bet tue porn watching becomes less frequent
The reason I’d be upset is the lying. I personally don’t care about porn/pictures/etc. It’s the dishonestly that would make me angry. And yeah your man should always make you feel good about yourself but at the end of the day, your self-esteem comes from YOU. Not him. I know your body changing sucks. I still have trouble coming to terms with what I see in the mirror but the right man loves you and your body BECAUSE you carried his child(ren). He can’t make you feel good about yourself though. He can make sure he tells you and makes you feel that he finds you attractive but the rest is up to you. 
you should definitely tell him how you feel about him going behind your back though. You guys can’t deal with it if you don’t address it.
Work on yourself to build up your self esteem. The best medicine is probably working out, you release so much endorphins and it makes you feel good. Changing your diet will also make you feel good. Take some time for yourself to make sure your cup is filled.
About the porn, watch with him or take a scroll yourself. It’s quite fun actually. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you if his watching porn. Maybe he knows your to tired and doesn’t want to bother you so his taking care of his needs himself.
He’s just being nice because your over sensitive. Porn is not the problem nor him viewing it
I would say this is only problem because he lied.
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If thats all he’s doing ur ok, they r visual creatures and no matter how hot u r they need more, pick ur battles, and if he’s faithful leave it alone, and if ur feeling a way start to fix it, cant let urself go and expect him to look at u the same if u can’t look at u the same! Help urself, u will feel amazing!
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That’s cheating. He’s looking for sexual pleasure else where:broken_heart:
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Your self esteem is yours to build. Don’t give anyone else the power to make you feel less than beautiful. You gave birth to TWO babies, that’s incredible! And although maybe you gained some extra weight, or some new stretch marks…you created LIFE. Your body does amazing things, and you need to embrace it. Your confidence in yourself will radiate onto others 
As for your partner, discuss with him that you’re bothered by his recent searches and notify him that it’s not something you’re willing to accept…
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At least he isn’t cheating on you. Let him look at nudes, he probably let you look with him
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Is he still attracted to you? Do you have sex often? If so I wouldn’t worry to much. It’s really not a big deal. Look at the girls with him. Try different things with each other. If it really bothers you that much then look up hot guys and let him see how it feels. Make sure he sees you doing it.
U need to talk to him…I’m with u. I don’t see why they would wanna look that stuff up when they have the real del at home 
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Hope he atleast watches hawkhatesyou
He lied and said he doesn’t use it. Instead of being direct with you about it. Thats wrong no matter how you look at it. Tell him how you feel about it. If he respects you, he will stop. If you see it as cheating, then it’s cheating. Everyone views things differently and your view is valid. It’s how you feel. If he doesn’t stop then the option is to leave or deal with it.
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I’m not even reading other comments because this is a controversial topic… in an ideal reality would it matter no? (In a MORE ideal reality) they wouldn’t look at this stuff at all! I’m very sensitive and my husband and I are VERY codependent as well as jealous people (sort of) 
. Id love to be like hell yeah thats cool bro or whatever, but if I ever found out I’d honestly be devastated. Because of me and my self esteem. Personally, if you can muster it… (it shouldn’t be on you at all) (I only say this because it was hard for me). I have zero sex drive, always have. But I have been trying to be someone who takes initiative and I try to do what I can to interest my partner. I dont put make up (hardly ever) but I’ll do my hair a bit, or lately I’ve been “attempting” to wear cuter clothes. My husband is obsessed with me, and likely I dont need to try at. All.
But do I over look his needs at times? Damn straight I do. Because I’m emotionally distracted or feeling self conscious.
Intimacy and lack of Intimacy are two big factors into why stuff like this happens. Do you need to be doing ‘stuff’ all the time? No! But you need to be intimate, hug them, massage feet or shoulders, take over doing dishes and give them a kiss. Surprise them and show you want them in your life!
But even the little bit I do try, he appreciates it soo much and I can see him understanding me and what it takes to try. You always have to try (not just you, everyone in general). Doesnt need to be something sexy, doesn’t always need to be food. But just showing an interest in them, so they don’t become distracted could work. Tell your partner that this is a perpetual cycle. When he does this it makes YOU feel less attractive/ wanted… it discourages you from feeling confident and wanting to please/ excite/ flirt/ whatever with him. Tell him that this isn’t really healthy or right and this kind of stuff leads to Unrealistic expectations. And pushes you further from each other.
Try and communicate and don’t belittle him. (Even if you’re discouraged/ disgusted). Just show him that you two can over come it together but you have to try. Even a little bit. Bring romance, tenderness, and togetherness back!
I hope it all works out bebe girl!
You have every right to feel the way you do. Call him out and give him an ultimatum. If he doesn’t respect your boundaries, he needs to take a hike n you can go find a REAL man
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Please, whatever comments of these you read DO NOT let the people telling you “at least he isn’t cheating on you” and “you could look with him be happy he isn’t doing worse” these people have not set their boundaries and demanded the respect they deserve. You do not need to be okay be okay with this to make your relationship work. If he does not love and value, admire you as he should it is up to YOU to decide if you deserve better. You don’t like what he is doing? Show you won’t put up with it and stay and if he’s okay losing you he was never worth it to begin with. Not easy having two kids I completely understand follow what you feel is right but demand to be respected you can have all the love in the world but RESPECT is also what it comes down to.
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Tell him to not lie and hide it from you but share it with you to spice up things.
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I wouldn’t be upset about him looking at it but i would definitely be upset that he lied about it.
Always interesting to read people’s opinions about SELF- esteem. No one is responsible for your self-esteem but you!!! Just as each person is responsible for what they DO, each of us is responsible for how we REACT. Do what you need to do to improve your self esteem (self help books, counseling, fitness training…whatever works for you). Only then can you make the decision about what behaviors you are willing to accept from him…Trust me when I say being a single mother, getting public assistance, or doing it all alone, won’t do your self-esteem any good either.
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I dont think its jealousy over porn its the denial of spouse lying about not doing or watching porn as she said he declared he doesn’t watch or need porn he said he has her? But now his
actions are another?!
makes her not trust??
anything hes said to her… porn addictions real… prof counseling for him…
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Don’t let it cost you your relationship, if you love him.
This is something you both need to work through together. Never approach the issue in anger, or you will get the same. A soft approach to communicate your feelings, instead of finger pointing and blame will go much further.
Best wishes.
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He probably has a porn addiction. He had this long before you hon. Nothing changes if nothing changes
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Having 2 young children you two probably aren’t hooking up very much. Understandable that you are tired. With that being said, facts are setx is Always on a young man’s mind. About every other thought. I know your not going to like what I’m about to say but if you could find a way to give him a few minutes of your time three or so times a week, he will not feel a need to look at this stuff. Keep in mind men don’t think like women. He does not care if you don’t look perfect.
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Tell him you are struggling with your self esteem. If he loves you as much as he loves himself, he’ll want to help you. And if he won’t go with you for help, go for yourself.
You need to work on yourself first. Back-to-back babies have taken their toll on your body and your mental health. Not having self-esteem has also probably caused you to not have much of a sex drive either…not to mention being exhausted from taking care of those 2 babies. I get it, I’ve been there myself. You need to have some “you” time. Find a sitter, go to a spa, hit the gym, go for walks while listening to some of your favorite music. Do what you have to do to get back to…well…you. Now as for your partner…he needs to be honest with you. Is he looking elsewhere because you aren’t interested in sex at this point? Is he afraid of hurting your feelings if he’s honest? Is it a body thing, as in “oh you don’t look like you did before popping out 2 of my spawn?” Or, has he always been into looking at porn and you just never really noticed because you weren’t worried at that point? Sit down, have this conversation with him and tell him you want the truth. If it’s just porn…well…it’s not just him, that’s why the porn industry thrives. If the porn upsets you, then tell him. He’s not going to know how you feel unless you tell him.
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I have many questions, how did you find out about information? Did he tell you himself, did someone else tell you or did you go through his phone? Hes not on pornhub, hes looking at pictures. Yall still having sex? Cause that’s a big one. My husbands looks at porn, has the pornhub app. I used to have a problem with it. But it was a ME problem. If hes not making it a problem, where it interferes with everyday life. And if sex is still there and he tries to make you feel better about yourself. And if your not even remotely trying to make your own self feel better then dont knock him for doing something in his own time. All men look. All wemon look.
Point is an addiction…has nothing to do with you. He’s the one who is oversexualized. You can talk to him about it and get help for it…there is help available…if you look at it as being unfaithful then it has already tearing your relationship down…tell him that. If I were you…build your own self up…exercise go for walks get a hobby go back to work…take care of you…keep busy
Start admiring all good looking men when you are out and about. See how he likes that?
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You’re reading too much into it. Get your sexy underwear and strike a pose. 
Porn is not good for him or his relationship with you Don’t let it anger you let him know that it’s not excepted
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Exercise and eat healthy, lose weight ,get fit and you’ll be sexy in no time !! Bring sexy back !!
Porn was a NO GO for me but I made that clear before marriage.
I’ve been married 36 years. If he’s into porn, why not let him enjoy what he enjoys? I never understood people that expected their significant other to stop liking what they like or enjoying the view just because they’re in a relationship. I always let my man go and advice him to come back warmed up.
Sweet heart you need to pack up your stuff leave him because men will never change Im marrage to one that does nothing with me he sit on chuch play,s on his cellphone looking up other,s
Work on yourself and your low self esteem, first…after that you will change which will automatically make him change or will automatically make you make some changes
Honestly, I know all men watch porn. It is, however, wrong of him to lie to you. Much more, explicit content for personal customers and stuff.
He needs to stick to porn web browsers and stay off only fans. Because that is straight up cheating if he is asking for, looking at, or paying for personal sexual content
Kick him to the curb,he will never change!