Am I over reacting if my boyfriend does not get me anything or do anything for my birthday?Tomorrow is my 30th birthday I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years but we have known each other for about 10 as friends we share a one year old daughter together the first two birthdays he didn’t get me anything we didn’t do anything or even just go out to dinner. I feel silly for doing this but he’s a really good Guy and I know men can be oblivious sometimes when it comes to stuff like this but it really does hurt my feelings that I give and I never receive back I have always taken him out to dinner or we went to Magic Kingdom or I would get him like a small gift even. Should I bring this up to him that it hurts my feelings and if he doesn’t do anything for me what do I say I don’t wanna spend a lifetime expecting and asking for effort.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting to my boyfriend not buying me anything for my birthday?
Idk, that’s kind of a red flag. You can’t be oblivious to the love of your life and mother of your child’s birthday??? For 3 years??? Idk how he’s a “good guy”, sorry.
Honestly that would make me feel a type of way too… like he doesn’t care.
Id be hurt even a card but id def say something to him
Let him know that you’d like to do something for your birthday.
Communication is key. Communicate your feelings. (My husband of 10 years and 3 teen girls forgot mine completely last year. Hurts!)
Talk to him about it
If it hurts your feelings, yes, you should bring it up calmly. What point is there in a relationship if you cannot communicate your feelings to your partner? Plus, we cannot expect our partners to be mind readers either. Rational or not, you should share your feelings and talk them through with one another.
Maybe gifts isn’t his love language. But I feel your pain and it’s like how do we even bring it up without sounding materialistic and demanding. Maybe talk to him about it ?
Ask him why he never acknowledges your birthday, maybe his family never celebrate.
He isn’t a mind reader. Open your mouth and say something.
Bring it up. Especially if you do it for him. It can be a hand made card… something
Definitely bring it up.
It would hurt for sure! Been there and I hate the way it feels. Try talking to him.
My 40th birthday is tomorrow. I told my bf let’s just sit home,door dash some food an watch movies. Are son just got over having a fever so I’d rather just chill. But I have to continuously remind him or he will forget.
Don’t tell us tell him
Been with mine 2 1/2 years too and share a 1.5 year old and I don’t get anything either lol. Don’t feel bad. It sucks but can’t make him do it.
You should always tell people when they hurt your feelings. You should not have to be told this! If someone hurts your feelings always speak your mind and explain to them how it makes you feel!!! Always!
Go get you some flowers and put a birthday card in there. When he ask who they are from… Tell him a family member for your birthday. Then see what he does.
Yes! Men are not mind readers. If it bothers you then tell him or he will continue to think you don’t care that he doesn’t do anything for your birthday.
Is it because hes got no money? If finances arent the issue, just tell him how you feel
I’d talk to him honestly and let him know how you feel. He won’t know unless you tell him. Everyone grows up differently and some people just don’t celebrate things. Doesn’t mean this is a damn red flag for the ones saying so. My gosh. COMMUNICATION is KEY!
Absolutely say something
Communication is everything
Effort is sexy. He can’t read your mind, but I always thought it was a no brainer to go at least a little out of your way for your SO’s birthday. It really hurts when they do nothing at all special for your birthday, especially given all the thought and effort you’ve put into theirs. Like you’re not worth the extra 15 minutes it would take to run into the store and pick out a card.
What you allow will
Continue ! Always let them know how you feel. Men cannot read minds nor take hints 
. It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift. Heck a card would be great.
The question is does he really care.
We don’t do birthdays. Occasionally we might do dinner for one another. I think it’s a waste of money. I don’t do Valentine’s Day either. I guess just tell him it bothers you. He doesn’t know if you don’t tell him.
Some times men don’t understand my husband doesn’t like gifts so he doesn’t buy as many as I’d like sometimes but we’ve talked about it and now I don’t really care I go buy myself something lol
I’d be fuming haha especially for your 30th. Even a bunch of flowers you can get for 1.99 x
Def bring it up in a gentle way…usually a few weeks/days in advance…ill say my birthdays coming. Would love to do dinner for us somewhere or go out… or give a few gifts for ideas 
If it upsets you…let him know…in a kind way !
Yes, tell him how you feel about it. Talk to him. If it doesn’t change after you express your feelings to him…then do the same thing to him on his birthday. Don’t buy him anything or take him anywhere.
If you let him not make a big deal he will probably continue to not show his appreciation or acknowledge your birthday!! Bring it up. Even if it’s just saying hey, for my birthday dinner I was thinking we could try XYZ unless you’d already made other plans. Buy yourself the cake!!! Help him a little then buy yourself what you want and make a big deal about it.
I usually end up picking out my gift. My husband and I have been together 7yrs. He took me to game stop to grab some more Pops for my collection, because he unsure of the ones I want/have. He knows a bunch of things I like, but just because I like it doesn’t mean I want a pop and He doesn’t know which pop I’d rather have. So I’m fine with this. It’s really whatever works for you, some people don’t care if they get something. If you do, you need to tell him and if it continues to be an issue, time to re evaluate your relationship
The biggest mistake young people make is getting stuck in their feelings instead of just saying how they feel honestly. Talk to him, tell him how you feel. Go from there.
Maybe celebrating birthdays was never really shown to him growing up so he doesn’t think about it as much as you do. I would just bring up ideas of stuff you want to do for your birthday! I think after a while or even just one time that he will see how much it means to you to do something for your special day once you show him and hopefully that will set the mood for upcoming years! Personally I wouldn’t bring up that you want gifts but maybe if someone else gets you a gift or even a gesture/card just express how much it means to you. He should eventually get the picture! Happy upcoming or belated birthday!
100% say something……communication means everything in a relationship….don’t dwell on trying to guess why, he may completely clueless & believe you’d prefer it this way….don’t know until you hash it out with him 
We really need to hold men to higher standards. Remembering your birthday is the bare minimum. You do things for his birthday. I am sure he remembers that. That makes it evident that you care about birthdays and want to celebrate them. He should reciprocate that but he is probably lazy and does not care and you aren’t really saying anything about it to him, so he gets away with it.
Communication is key
Tell him and tell him what to do/buy/get if it’s important to you. Communication is key.
Definitely bring it up… sometimes men are just oblivious
Anything that takes up that much space in your head or feelings needs to be talked about in a way he can understand. Babe I know you don’t like shopping or care about gift giving for special events but I do. Any effort you put into a gift or gesture for me would mean the world to me it hurts when you don’t recognize my big days
Tell him you’d like to celebrate your birthday. He’s not being oblivious, he’s being lazy. If you want to go to dinner or do something nice, tell him that’s what you want.
You have to communicate your feelings, wants and needs. No person is a mind reader. That’s true for ALL relationships. Tell him!
Don’t give him any special treatment on his bday. Saved yoir money and go out on your own. Treat yourself like queen have fun with friends or sisters. Let him baby sit and stay home. That will cure him
Yea ya can’t complain if ya don’t say anything to him.
You took him to magic kingdom and he gets you nothing? You really need to tell him how you feel, or how he makes you feel even.
If it’s something that bothers you, then talk to him about it. Id just ask him why he doesn’t get you anything and that you’d like some sort of acknowledgement. I personally don’t think it’s a big deal, but can understand where you’re coming from. Maybe you said something in the past that made him think you didn’t care about it. That may not be what you meant, but that’s the way he perceived it. Nothing gets solved without communication.
Its not about the gifts. Its about caring enough to want to make another person feel good. I have always let my guy know in advance my bd…. then later ask if plans for my bd… If a man ignores a bd he knows about that is just plain selfish. But if we ignore and expect them to remember then its on us.
If being a good partner, TO YOU, is showing you by giving you material things, or public acknowledgements, then tell him, that THAT is YOUR love language… He doesn’t know you are harboring any sort of resentment, (or maybe he can sense it) if you don’t tell him.
Or simply return the energy he is giving out. No gifts or plans for you, equal no gifts or plans for him.
Either he will do better, or it will set the tone for your relationship going forward …
Rule Number 1) Men aren’t mind readers.
Say something. Immediately.
Ask him what ur one year old is getting u for ur bday
If you don’t tell him how you feel, how will he know? You said he’s not done anything in the previous years, so he doesn’t know he’s doing something wrong. You have to communicate with him, not the internet.
He won’t know you’re bothered by something if you don’t tell him. My husband has often ‘gifted’ me flowers and a couple purses. When he asked why I got them, You felt like getting me something.
My husband never gets me anything either… so I always just buy myself what I want 
but yes girl I totally feel you. He is not big on celebrating any holidays or anything and I am super sentimental and very big on it
Leave or get use to it. It wont change .
If he doesn’t feel your bday is special and it’s important to you ask some girl friends to join you for a dinner out. Let your hubby know he has baby sitting duty so you can be celebrated.
Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Birthdays may not be a big deal to him and he doesn’t realize they are to you. If you tell him and he still does nothing then do something yourself. Dress up go to a nice dinner with a friend or even alone.
Why not simply ask what he would like to do to help you celebrate your birthday? Why put the decision making on him, so that you end up disappointed? If the only reason you give is so they owe you something in return, why bother? Just don’t buy him a gift and spend the money on yourself. I’m betting he wouldn’t even notice.
You’re going to have to tell him.
I buy for myself we celebrate our birthdays together only 3 days apart
Men do not always think much about birthdays,anniversary,holidays…my husband does not care about these.I always remind him in a kind way.Sometimes he does something…he hates to shop.We are married 44 years.He loves me in many other ways.He did buy me a horse for my 40th bday.Fantastic.I always buy myself something I really want.Always be kind.
My husband and I have been together for 12 years. We don’t get each other anything for Christmas birthday or anniversary, I’d rather spend that money on my child and do stuff with my kid.
Mention on how you feel. Don’t fight about it,but when his bd comes hint you know it’s his bd but DONT do anything special for him.
Men aren’t mind readers, you’re going to have to tell him how you feel and what you’d like. Men are oblivious sometimes to why we might be upset or that we’re upset at all. Communication is key
Have you voiced your feelings and your wants?
I had to tell my husband exactly what I wanted bc otherwise he won’t do anything for me. He didn’t grow up really celebrating, he says it’s just another day. So to him throwing a party and buying gifts isn’t that important. But to me it is! So I had to tell him what I wanted.
Tell your boyfriend how special your birthday us and let him know how you’d like to celebrate.
I understand your frustration. I took my husband to Vegas for his birthday and we took our daughter to Mexico for her birthday. When my birthday came around we did nothing and I got nothing so I am planning a cruise and giving the bill to my husband.
I’m born on the same day! Having been married for 28 years I’ve learned 2 things about my birthday recognition. 1. Tell him in no uncertain terms how you feel. Don’t let him convince you that your feelings are wrong, they’re yours and they’re important. 2. As the years go by you realize that big gifts and parties are not the only expression of love.
Why not tell him what you want to do for your birthday.
“He’s a really good guy”. But doesn’t even acknowledge u at all on ur birthday? Uh no. Also, let’s stop with this narrative that men are incapable human beings. He’s a grown ass man he’s not oblivious he just doesn’t care. Stop accepting this when he can’t even do the bare minimum.
Your getting mad about that you won’t last long. Just wait until your married and share the money LOL!
Bring it up to him… especially with it being your 30th you should do something fun… something like what are we doing for my birthday this year it’s my 30th and I wanna have some fun…
Talk it over. That is what we do about everything. We at least have each other a card. Men aren’t like us, they don’t care
I should also mention that things changed when I gifted myself a personal vacation, on my own, over my birthday. It was fabulous!
Yes. You should tell him. Some guys just don’t have that gift giving, birthday party bone in their body. You’d think it would be common sense, but not with men.
Men are not mind readers. Just say are we doing something for my birthday this year or am I going to be forgot about again this year.
Awe, I’m sorry that hurts ur feelings but some people are not big on bd’s
I, being one of those people
It doesn’t mean I think any less of the person or love them any less
Maybe you could tell him how you feel, I’m sure he would understand
You should be celebrating his birthday because you want to and love him, not because you expect anything back. My man is the same way. But way I look at it He more than makes up for it by the daily things he does for me. Talk to Him and explain how you feel. Honesty is always the best policy.
See how society tricks us into thinking we are overeacting when we are rightfully upset. Wait till tomorrow and if nothing I would throw a tantrum lol its your 30th and you deserve to be made a fuss of.
Tell him it’s your special birthday and ask what he is planning x otherwise go out with your mates and celebrate x
The whole point of having a significant other, is to have someone to love and feel loved back. It’s not even the material/gift, but just wanting to feel special. He should be doing that, and if not let him go!! Life is too short.
Your love language is gift giving, his might not be. I don’t do birthday gifts for my husband, but I’ll ask him what he wants for dinner or what he wants to do.
Men cannot read our minds, you need to talk to him and let him know that you would like to do something for your birthday. Communicate with him.
I never get gifts from my man it’s just how we are. He knows if I want something I will buy it. I think it’s better than having a bunch of things that I don’t want and won’t use.
He shows his love in other ways like picking me wildflowers and taking out the trash.
Just tell him how you feel. I don’t understand why women feel like they can’t just tell their man what they want.
Tell him, you’ve been with him long enough that you should be able to tell him honestly how you feel! You always do something for his birthday, so why not be honest
Tell him how u feel. I will never understand why women think men can read our mind. It doesn’t work that way. Communication is key.
You have to say something. A lot of S/O don’t make Birthdays a priority not on purpose, they just don’t think like that. So you have to be specific in what you want. Put it on the calendar. Especially with your 30th coming up. Then if he’s still oblivious plan something for yourself and hand him the bill. 
Communication is crucial. Some men are more oblivious than others and can’t take a hint. Don’t make it a big deal, just be like - Hey, can we do something special for my b-day? Come to think of it, I don’t think you’ve ever even gotten me a gift. 
It also may just be how he was raised.
Start planning your own shit! Problem solved, maybe at the party you’ll meet a guy who actually understands efforts.
Sometimes all we have to do is speak up, they can’t read our minds. You cant fix something if you don’t know it’s not working properly. Just sit down and talk to him about it.
I turned 30 a few weeks ago… didnt get anything, the day was just a regular day…
If i want something or for us to do something i either plan it or tell him 
There could be a million reasons whybhe didn’t, might not of thought about it, maybe hes skint with the prices skyhigh, could be he didn’t think it mattered (u can find once u have children, christmas birthday presents for the parents arnt really a thing anymore) xx
My last guy I was with for seven years, he never got me anything special for anything and he could have cared less. I went out of my way to make things special for him. What is important to you is usually not important to others. After a few years I just got myself my own cake 
and enjoyed my day 
You should tell him how you feel. Just throw it out there that it’s your big 30 and you would like to do something!
It’s important to feel important, not that he doesn’t think you are… he probably just isn’t a big birthday celebration kinda guy and that’s okay but you shouldn’t feel sad on ur day either so communication is key.
I just spent my last birthday doing nothing so I understand where ur coming from. As we get older certain occasions become all about the little ones and us adults get left out on even the 2 days a year we should be recognized 
sucks!
I hope your day turns out special, wether you get taken out, or go to a spa or something and enjoy some alone time! 
happy birthday to you!
This would be a problem for me. That’s an automatic discussion. Really one that shouldn’t even have to take place! I mean Damn, it’s your bday
Really good guy but can’t make no effort for one day or the year for your birthday hmmm sorry to sound harsh but his not oblivious he just doesn’t want to anyone with common sense would know their partner would appreciate / like something on their birthday even if money was a issue can still do something to make it special it’s the thought that counts.
You shouldn’t give to receive.
It wouldn’t surprise me if you told him not to get you something that is something he would do - most men are like that 
Birthdays are birthdays but it’s always nice to get a little something. - do you do Christmas or anything else?
The only thing me and my partner don’t do is Valentine’s Day we think it’s a waste of money.
If your concerned or feeling down about it talk to him… will he not get you something from your child?
Grow up. You’re not 12 years old. Birthday gifts are for children.
Say " hey for my birthday, why don’t you take me out for dinner or to a movie, something…I’ll get a babysitter for the night"
Yes u did a sit down and talk