Been with my husband 3 years newly married for 2 weeks. The other days he makes comments about a female coworker that looks good for 5 kids and is a hard worker. He also made comments about college girls with very little clothing on to say the least. He knows I suffer from PTSD due to an ex-husband and yet when I tell him it bothers me it’s I’m not chasing after them…its like my feelings are invalid and I really feel like he is trying to turn the situation on me
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I’d go crazy !!! 2weeks married he’s putting commitments like that out there , u shud be only person wat matters !!!
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If hes not entertaining it, it shouldn’t matter…dont bring your insecurities from your last relationship into this one…its not his fault…hes not dead he can still look just not touch
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Sounds Like Toxic Monogamy Culture But Ok
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My significant other does the same thing and I don’t like it. I’m considering leaving over his stupid comments about other women. Grrrr
No matter what your feelings matter. You deserve to be heard as does your husband. But you matter x
Been with him for 3 years and you only now hear comments he makes about that?
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I’ve been with my love for 13 years November, married for a year on Sept 12 this year. Men are going to look. It’s just in their nature. Be glad he’s talking to you about it. It’s when he’s not you need to worry.
It’s disrespectful to compliment other women out loud while in a committed relationship. He’s going to look but it’s extremely rude to voice on it to you . Explain to him that by him doing so he is only growing your insecurities and causing doubt in his attraction to you . If he still seems to not care … a nice sharp chop to the throat next time should do the trick 
lol jk jk … but fr if he dont respect your feelings now there’s sure to be more disrespect to come . Don’t allow yourself to live in years of pain or discomfort.
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Seriously need to squash this now, we control how people treat us, if you let him disrespect you now. It will get worse.
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Marriage does not isolate partners from being in the real world. The worst thing you can do is to try and hold him accountable for your insecurities. You will only push him into straying if you draw such unrealistic perimeters. Trust him until he shows you otherwise.
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It’s different if he looks and doesn’t saying anything. Everyone looks at everyone. I’m sure my husband looks when other marines point people out but mine will never disrespect me and say anything to them or to me about another female. He only comments on me. He has no respect for you
Wow, two weeks of marriage and he’s behaving like a jerk??? What was his reaction ,before marriage regarding good looking women in general??? He’s a total jerk.
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It kinda is your still feeling trauma from the past and listen ladies when we see a good looking guy we stare I know I do and I am engaged it stems from insecurities it’s just a comment
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He’s being talking to you as a friend, that’s the whole point to get married, if you always gonna blame him for your traumas then you shouldn’t married him. He’s not responsible for your healing process, you are, and He’s not doing nothing wrong than being honest with you and trying to look a friend in you… get professional help before you mess up what probably can be a beautiful love story.
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just agree with him next time and then start complimenting other men. bet that will shut him up quick ijs
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I think he should be respectful of how you’re feeling. If you’re feeling that he needs to stop telling you how good a coworker looks after having 5 kids then that’s something he needs to respect and no longer speak of her or her looks. It’s only right to you and your marriage.
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in sorry but no woman should b made 2 feel this way you are beautiful
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Your over reacting It doesn’t matter if you have been with him 3 years or 30 years all men look at other women as all women look at other men I have been with my partner 11 years and we can walk down the street and admire other people doesn’t mean we want to go there or do anything but people are beautiful so why avoid it he obviously thinks your marriage is stable and that your both happy for him to do that around you be happy and aslong as he is only looking what’s the harm
Thats not cool but really im sure u see guys that u think are cute.
Red flag. No man should talk to their wife that way. Ive never been talked to that way and I don’t know anyone else either. Looks like verbal abuse….
he has no respect. He has the issues . Nothing to do with you. Did he do that before you were married? :/// these are things you should ask yourself. Get close family members involved for their opinion. Prayers you seek help! 
look up narcissistic behavior.
You gotta go ape shit on him! In public, in private. He’ll learn to keep his mouth shut. Or he won’t, which means he’s an ass and you should dump him.
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Honestly it would bother me but I would fight fire with fire and comment on some man every time he does it. Bet he’d change his mind and behavior
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The man is telling his wife, what he’s thinking? Depending on how you mention this, he could no longer share his real thoughts and begin to filter everything he shares. He’s trying to include his wife in his daily experiences.
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If he has only made comments like that since being married for two weeks, sit down together and calmly ask him why all of a sudden? If he has always been like that and you thought marriage would change it, then you are about to learn a very big lesson about marriage not changing an issue, sorry.
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You are overreacting.
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Maybe you need to work on your sensitivity. Not all men are out to chase bit everyone looks.
Like my dad says,
It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home
Saying someone looks good for their age or after having kids seems harmless but idk about talking about college girls with little clothing, like he’s just mentioning they don’t have clothing on? 
big deal. Now if he is commenting about their bodies etc that is creepy
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Hmmm sounds typical male behaviour thats become a bad habit,
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Yeah, that tends to happen in relationships. It’s best to learn to be able to accept somethings now, that you are not going to always like. If not your going to make yourself even more miserable. At least he’s upfront about it. Agree with him and return the favor.
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Looks like you got yourself another loser run.
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Been together 3 years and just noticing that he sees beauty in other women??? Just now hearing he has respect for hard working women??? Kinda hard to believe. Seek counseling for the PTSD so others around you do not have to suffer through your issues. Good luck. Choose happy!
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Is it possible that he is just talking to you like a friend? Generally a guy who has bad intentions isn’t going to have a casual conversation about people they desire. He may just be a little tone def to your PTSD situation. I’d sit down and let him know how you feel and go from there.
I could be totally wrong, but he may just not realize it’s wrong because he doesn’t have intentions.
Either way, I wouldn’t love that type of banter either, but I would let him know, move on and watch for future behavior.
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That’s so disrespectful. If my man did that, no my man wouldn’t do that… SMH
Idk me and my man look at girls butts together. And im a safe place that he can say what’s on his mind. Maybe try not being so insecure… he married you girl. Lighten up
Enjoy the beauty of other women with him, he is being open with you!
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Hmmmmm…was he talking this way during the 3 years you guys have been together or did it just start? For me it kinda depends on how husband is talking about another woman. I don’t take offense if he casually mentions that another woman is attractive in a convo where we’re talking about such things, but not just out of the blue. After all, the man’s not blind, he can recognize a good looking woman, just don’t “oogle” them. But then, I’m pretty secure in how he feels about me and how I feel about myself. But if you have some insecurities, then you should have addressed them prior to getting married and if you’ve already done that, perhaps you need to refresh his memory. Now I hope you’re not expecting him to not notice other woman, that’s just not going to happen, but you are entitled to respect and you shouldn’t have to ask for it. Sit down with him and just talk to him without being needy or whiny and tell him what’s up and that this is no way to start a marriage. And if you’re carrying excess baggage from a previous relationship…go get some therapy gurl, it’ll make you feel a lot better!
It’s your responsibility to heal from your past.
I’m not saying you’re not allowed to feel your feelings but I don’t think your husband should have to walk on eggshells because of your triggers.
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You need more communication.
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I would embarrass him in public. Oh so you think she is sexy while you are with me and say it super loud!!
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He’s doing it on purpose to get a rise out of you. Ignore it and move on with your day.
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So your husband is responsible for your own feelings and how YOU interpret them?..
Your reading far to much into it…
Because you haven’t delt with past hurt, your allowing those triggers to still be…well triggers…
You have to learn to be happy and love yourself…until then your going to overthink and blame…
Life if learning and moving on from your choices…be kind to yourself😊
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Start making comments about cute guts
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Sandy Beatson PTSD is not something you “get over” and she has told him it bothers her so he should just keep those thoughts to himself.
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He’s another Narcissist, which probably you missed the red flags by hoping it wasn’t so. Get away from him or use the excuse that you thought you were ready to move in but you’re not. Get away from him please.
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Testing the boundaries - shut shop
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Was he like this before you got married? If he was I don’t understand why you would marry someone that didn’t validate your feelings before you got married. They don’t magically change once they get married.
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Never put up with something that doesn’t feel right to you, I’m the same, and if can’t anybody respect that then you don’t need them
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First don’t let PTSD run your life…and ya damned skippy I know what it’s like to have PTSD… Second it sounds like casual talk… Third he could be trying to help you deal with your issues by communicating… You must understand that sometimes with PTSD…Anxiety thing’s might be completely different than what your feeling… The most important thing is to talk to him and not everyone on Facebook about your problems… If that doesn’t work see a good counselor… One of these comments I seen was to embrace him in public LOUD…That would be a sure way to be single again…
He is trying it, and being disrespectful. Nip that crap in the bud.
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He’s using your truma for his own personal gain against you and it’s working.
*sorry your going through this
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Kelianne Young what do you think? We look at other people and point them out to each other and move on with our life.
I think if he’s never shown you a reason to not trust him then why feel some type of way. I mean 3 years together and all of a sudden he changed in 2 weeks… it’s possible that he’s been this way all along and now that you’re married he’s comfortable voicing it since he has shown he’s committed to you. At the end of the day we can all throw out our thoughts on this but you are the one that has to live with it. So decide if this is something you can work through or let go and move on
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Such a new marriage is off to a bad start. I think you save yourself & get out now. He sounds like an insensitive jerk.
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Did he do it before you were married and you just put up with it or has he always done it?
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When my daughter got married she complained to me that her husband never put the toilet seat back down. I asked her if she ever put it back up for him. She said well no of course not. I asked her why and she had no reason. My point is don’t you ever look at another male and admire him? Don’t you see a man smartly dressed and think wow thats nice to see? No sexual desire at all just an appreciation of something that brings a smile in this world of selfishness and heart ache.
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I think all these comments are well dramatic men make comments he probably doesn’t even realise what he’s done wrong it’s just a throw away comment the way all these comments are making out like he’s cheated
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He shouldn’t verbalize such things to his wife
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I think everyone has a right to the feelings they feel. Your life partner (the person you choose to marry) should take your feelings into consideration no matter if it is a bit overwhelming or not. You had a rough past and if he can’t understand the reasons you feel the way you do then he doesn’t deserve you. Even if these are new feelings for both of you he just now started the comments, you just now started to feel uncomfortable with his Comments you should be able to sit down express why you feel the way you do, he should be able to tell you the thoughts he had that led to those comments. Make a compromise. If you don’t like those comments he shouldn’t make them, if you feel dramatic about the situation take a girls day get hair, nails, tan, a nice bath, new sexy clothes something that will make you feel better about your self and always be willing to listen to what he has to say.
If yall can’t do that then there’s no reason to be married. What kind of life is that for him to not take your feelings into consideration or for you to treat him like you have walls up because of another guy etc. It’s no life to live that way either way…
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I say, yes- you are overreacting. From the tiny snippet you wrote, not knowing anything about either of you and not making any assumptions…
I believe we shouldn’t project our past traumas on others, it is your duty to actively work on healing them. Every person has things in their past that mold who they are. Surrendering to it isn’t going to do you any favors. I’m sure you are a wonderful person and deserve self love and confidence. 
We are all human, we notice attractive people of the opposite sex. What would you prefer he do, stop verbalizing his thoughts?
Then you will be inhibiting communication between the two of you, which isn’t going to be cohesive. You should both be a safe place to discuss your innermost thoughts and secrets, a trusted outlet void of criticism.
Wish you the best!
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Honestly work on yourself. Any little thing is going to bother you. Your husband expresses himself a lot and it seems to get to you. He heard what you said and is probably going to still be himself. Is it all of a sudden? Or has he always been this way? We can’t blame our partner for our past that’s the stuff you have to work on not him
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GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP! He’s a narcissist, he is & will mentally beat you down…He’s already not considering your feelings what so ever! This is going to get way worse! Read up on this type of behavior! So sorry You’re going through this darlin! GL
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Typical narcissist 
he’s probably moving in on the hard working coworker, as hard as it is get the fu@k out ASAP. He sounds like a perverted creep just like my ex
If he knows something hurts you yet actively chooses to continue doing it, then there’s a problem. It doesn’t matter what that something is (other women may not be bothered by it, but that’s irrelevant), he is choosing to hurt you. And that is the problem.
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In a normal situation I’d say probebely fine
If he knows his wife struggles mentally then Probs not a good idea
But she also could have been a jealous person before the baby who knows
Bottom line if you don’t no each other after having a baby and marriage what’s the point 
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Also there’s allot of “people” on here just blaming him !
Nobody knows what type of person she is … saying she has PTSD is very convenient ( not saying it’s not true ) just looking from both sides
People should always try and base an discussion from both sides
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He is , that is how they defend acting like a jerk.
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he sounds insecure and needs to make you jelous to prove yr love …just a thought
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It’s disrespectful to say that to a spouse especially if you’ve told him that it bothers you.
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If you ate just verbalizing but not yelling at hom and freaking out then no you’re not overreacting. He knows why you feel this way and is disregarding it. That’s insensitive. I’ve told my fiance I get that to you and others mentioning another womans looks is small but to me it makes me judge myself based on the looks of her and the comments you’re making. Im not commenting on another man in front of you purely out of consideration for how it might make you feel, because I know how I would feel. The comments aren’t necessary sho why say them? He no longer does it.
If he did that before you were married then you know what you were getting into. If he suddenly starts commenting on other women after you got married then you need to divorce his disrespectful ass. The signs are already there, he will cheat on you, he sounds like a massive nonce 
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There’s nothing wrong with complimenting other women. Understanding you have trauma but not allowing it to seep into youth present relationship is what I would work on.
That’s one thing I have learned is to never tell a guy what I suffer from,cause it’s always used against you.stop telling him it bothers you and join in the conversation like it’s no big deal,show him you don’t care and see if he continues doing it.if he does then I’d leave with a smile on my face and say,you just lost the best woman you ever had.remember one mans trash is another mans gold …I say trash because that’s how your being treated
Apparently some are commenting on “past trauma” like you choose to use it against your husband. I have PTSD from childhood abuse and domestic abuse I understand that you are not choosing anything. One thing I can tell you is my husband makes comments and he means no harm by them but he would never comment on another woman. I would tell him no you are not chasing after them but those comments hurt my feelings. I understand he may have thoughts about the opposite sex (everyone does) but out of respect for your partner you don’t say them. Would he like if you made such comments about other men? Probably not. Coming from someone who has PTSD you need to see a therapist that is trained in PTSD that you can speak with. It will never go away and no matter how much you tell yourself he is not my ex you have triggers. Also I am not suggesting you get on medication but my doc put me on minipress and it helps with triggers. I wish you all the best sweetie. You can message me anytime a support system helps. Keep in mind as well unless you have PTSD you will never understand how it affects your life. It’s easy to say forget about what happened but your brain does not work that way.
Thats called gaslighting.
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Tell him the neighbor looks good in his grey sweatpants! What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!
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Not a man
Rethink your future
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This is typical narcissistic behavior.
Get away now.
It’s not love.
It’s control
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If he loved you, your health and feelings of security would be his top priority. You picked a self- centered man who thinks of himself first. You do have a few things you need to work on/thru but if his top concern was you, he would be considerate of that. People have mistakenly bought into the belief that you can be yourself and do and say whatever you want and everyone around you has to accept you and any abuse you feel like dishing out. They have lost all manners. They give no consideration to anyone else but themselves. But the fact is we don’t have to tolerate one moment with a jackass. We don’t have to put up with it or accept it. We can just rid our lives of them. People like that who don’t give a shit about your feelings yet claim to love you are sick. You fill a need. They are using you. Make no mistake this man is responsible for how he makes you feel. He just doesn’t want to be and he wants no accountability for his actions. You settled for a loser in your quest to be and feel loved. You settled. Now you have to decide if you want to own that you made a mistake or if you want to make yourself miserable by trying to make it work and putting up with that shit the rest of your days.
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Sounds like your a bit of drama. He is simply just talking about the people he knows around at work etc and seems your jealous. Learn to stop acting like your in competition and just enjoy your man. Let him vent and talk about people and things and bodies openly before he feels he can’t speak to you and finds a BETTER LISTENING EAR. problem with so many woman. Yal so stuck up in your own head you forget to be a good friend to your man. Ground yourself with your own comfort and get over yourself. I truly have ptsd from real life shit not just a relationship so truly get over your jealousy and be a best friend to your man and stop being a stuck up wife. 
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Doesn’t bode well for your future if only been married for two weeks.
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He is just trying to belittle you.Stay strong against his insults.
Are you that insecure in your relationship?
Give him a playful smack & tell him knock it off. Then the next hunk you see make a comment. If you make it a big deal it will become a big deal.
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I think you are overreacting a little bit as like you said he isn’t cheating. Guys look it is normal. I do see what you mean that you asked him to stop and he does not. That’s disrespectful.
Jeezo if this is how he acts around you, imagine what he’s like around his mates, I would not trust this man one bit…It could also be him trying to antagonise you due to your PTSD, he may be just another one like your ex 
Research all types of narcissistic behaviors. If he fits the Bill I suggest you figure out a way of either coexisting or leaving. The way I see it he’s trying to trigger you and only people who have gone through narcissistic abuse will understand.
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Next time he does it , just do a little laugh and then you do it to the next man you see infront of him, give him a taste of his own medicine, that might be enough for him to think fair enough and he might stop , did he do this before you got married ? because if he didn’t and he knows you don’t like this sort of thing it’s abit toxic… like why would he want to make someone he loves feel insecure, tbh it should’ve stopped when you told him the 1st time in my eyes, but that’s my advice , 2 can play that game …
Men tend to be piggish but sounds like he’s open about it. Usually they keep it inside. Give him a dose of his medicine when you’re together and see a hot guy.
how can u be with a guy like that for 3 yrs?
And you married him knowing he was like this? Good luck with that.
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No MAN ( notice I said MAN , not a Baby man) who truly loves YOU, Will EVER make you feel insecure, inferior about other women, (looks, body type, personality anything) especially if you told him it bothers YOU. And asked him to stop. A man who truly loves you, will consider YOUR feelings over any stupid comments. 
I would try to flip it and say something nice about a man you come across and see how he likes it. 
and go from there
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So this just started after the marriage? Or you just decided he needed to change now? Need more info
All I’m saying is my man wouldn’t say anything that would hurt me, make me insecure or question my worth. I understand we all look at other people, its human. But it would become a problem for me if it was hurtful and he didn’t care. Good luck girl.
PTSD is a TRIP all by itself! So sorry. Love yourself, hon. You’ll figure it out. 
He was comfortable telling you this kind of thing… now your insecurities will make him keep more to himself and you will lose your best friend. You should really look into alternative therapies (meditation, yoga, writing ect.) Something that allow you to release all that anxiety and insecurities. Speaking from experience, plz dont take this the wrong way. Your mental health is important and your best friend is your life partner keep it that way. Dont push him away.
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If he’s starting to notice other women and making comments about them to you…Is he shopping? When a spouse does this it usually indicates that he’s looking around! PTSD is an awful mental affliction and if he had half a brain he’s realize that! Stay aware, listen to his comments and if you see the same signs as you had before, don’t stay in a relationship when he is not respecting you! What would he think if you complimented a good looking guy on a motocycle or riding in a fast speed boat? Or a guy hiking thru the woods with his golden retriever at his side, and YOU MENTIONED IT? WHAT WOULD HE THINK THEN!? That’s not how to keep a relationship going! 2 people have to work together and be respectful or it will not work. Good luck.
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He is immature and disrespectful, and knows it makes you uncomfortable and still does it, enough said.
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You actually know the answer to your question. People like you look for the same type of abusive relationship all the time. Why? I do not know, get help or you will be teaching you kids that this is ok.
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Knowing what you have been through he needs to respect your feelings, he can look when he’s by himself he doesn’t need to make the comments to you.
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