Been with my husband 3 years newly married for 2 weeks. The other days he makes comments about a female coworker that looks good for 5 kids and is a hard worker. He also made comments about college girls with very little clothing on to say the least. He knows I suffer from PTSD due to an ex-husband and yet when I tell him it bothers me it’s I’m not chasing after them…its like my feelings are invalid and I really feel like he is trying to turn the situation on me
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Well, you have to be secure in yourself. Old relationship gone. New start. He does not have to pay for the deals with your ex. Insecure men like to do that but if you are not comfortable with it, then just tell him. If you can’t communicate then that will be a life long issue. Communication, with no excuses about your PTSD because of your ex, will go a long way. Good luck!
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I think a little differently than most offended people in here. He married you. He’s saying it openly, laugh it off, he’s admiring the attractiveness of something, if it were a flower you wouldn’t mind.
A little jealousy is okay, but don’t let it eat you up. In fact admire some flowers yourself, it works a dream 
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Tell him , you now know it was a mistake to marry him, that if he has no regard for your feelings now, you know you made a mistake, if he truly loves you, he will apologize and ask you not to leave , and he will change his behavior, if he doesn’t, then it’s up to you if you want to live that way
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Hes gas lighting you. Next time tell him how fine x,y,z looks n what a great guy he is. Turn the tables. If he doesn’t see the HUMOR, LEAVE
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I’m real confident in my marriage and with myself, but one thing I would never tolerate, would be my husband voicing his opinion on how good other women look. If he needs to compliment, start at home. It’s disrespectful to his wife. It’s as though she’s not good enough. He needs to water his own lawn. Who wants to be married to a man who only values women that look good. You don’t need to play his game. Bail while you can. He’s not going to change. He proved that when he didn’t listen to your concerns! And stop choosing losers!
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A lot guys are still immature and think what they see in the movies is appropriate. Let him know that it is not cool and tell him how it affects you. BTW, guys are generally clueless regarding other people’s feelings. After you tell him to stop and he still does it then he won’t ever change. Marriage isn’t easy but communicating to the other about feelings is important. If it is important to you then it should be important to him. It works both ways. I’ve been happily married for 18 years now
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Im a very petty person when im offended, i would start making comments about some guys 6pack and a younger guys handsome face see if he can deal with it…start saving for an escape fund
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Men will be men, they really have no regard for our feelings. But I do not agree with all the people saying leave him, or get out now. Marriage can be hard, and it is definitely not 50-50 , it is actually 100-100 if you want a marriage to work. You both give 100% of yourself 100% of the time and you will be surprised. I got married after 3 months of dating and we are coming up on our 32nd year of marriage. We almost gave up after 15 year’s but decided to find that spark again. I hope you can make this work. Just remember, he married you, and jealousy is a sickness that will eat you alive.
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None of those comments need to be said. Unless you guys are talking about something specific, there’s never a reason to just bring up how good the opposite sex at work looks and college girls??? Gross. Super rude. Not needed. I don’t think he’s trying to turn it around on you. I do think that he’s either trying to get a rise out of you to start a fight, or he’s not happy. If he knows about your past, knows how much it brothers you, then plain and simple he should not be doing it. It’s call respect. Goes both ways. If this is consistent, I wouldn’t be sticking around.
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He’s gaslighting you! I would tell him you can appreciate people, but telling your wife about it is disrespectful. If he doesn’t understand, I would leave. I also have PTSD, several reasons. You don’t tell him your worst instances for him to use it against you later. I’m thinking you might not have healed from your Ex enough before starting a new relationship. Unfortunately you tend to pick the same type.
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Hope you don’t have kids. Will make leaving easier. Obviously it’s not the first time, but your choice if it’s the last. Sending Courage and love 
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Airing dirty laundry on the internet will only cause you more trouble. Seek guidance from professionals. Really?
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My husband wore out 2 wives before he found me. It was kind of a game we would play. He would see some sweet young thing, usually wearing an pink, and say “I like pink”, that was my cue to play punch him in the shoulder. I trusted him implicitly. The question is, do you trust your husband or not? Base your decision about what to do on that answer. Remember that he married you. Remind him that you would appreciate a few glances in your direction too. We were married for 40 years and change until his death. There is almost nothing I would change. His looking at pretty girls but always coming back to me is NOT one of them.
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Join the fun … “look honey, isn’t that blond stunning?” “What do you think about the brunettes hair style” “oMG check out the body on that guy over there!” It usually stops the unneeded comments
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You are entitled to your feelings. Never let anyone minimize how you feel. My first thought was he’s a narcissist.
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Sounds like overreacting to me, but only you know the situation. If this has you doubting, then most likely in the last 3 years you’ve seen reasons to doubt. Nobody knows what you know. A gaslighting narcissist or an insecure woman? Only you know.
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Be aware of future red flags. Get ready to run
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Turn it around on him and start making comments about a guy. See how long he likes it.
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Not too late for an annulment
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PTSD is serious, if he isn’t willing to take it seriously two weeks in… I agree this is a red flag ~ I don’t think you’re overreacting. It sounds like you have some decisions to make, primarily around “does his good outweigh the inconsideration?” And “Am I willing to live with a man with a wandering eye?” (because it’s not a stretch to wandering interest)
You are not a tree, bound to stay put…
That’s being disrespectful… Maybe he does not realize it. You need to teach him to respect you. Give him time to prove himself and then you make your decision.
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My comment back to him is that’s nice honey. But your mind now we are married. Mind almost wreck my new car looking at a red head going down the road. A woman he had went out with a few times. He said she must be broke down. As she was walking said well ask her if so offer her a ride. The look was priceless. We took her to work then he said if need a ride home call my wife she will come get you. Not lol Girl the day I stop looking is the day I will die. No one can say they don’t look. I know where my husband is comming home to . And that is all that matters to me .
Don’t let it bother you. Put on your best friend cap and be happy that he’s comfortable sharing his observations and thoughts with you. He deserves the benefit of the doubt. He is not your ex.
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That is cruel and selfish. He does NOT need to be saying these things out loud. Especially if he is aware this is hurting you. To hear him invalidate your feelings with excuses is worrisome in how he might treat you in other ways 
Your feelings and experiences are valid and there is ZERO need for him to say these things to you.
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Extremely insensitive!!! Were there not any “Red Flags” before you married him!!! I would have to wonder what he does in private??? I don’t think he gets it at all and do you want to live like that!!! He is showing you who he is and you need to believe him!!!
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Well can’t see your marriage lasting too long a shame he didn’t say this earlier so you could have made a better decision
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Go to counseling so you don’t pick the same kind of guy again
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Been there…and yes. He is being very inconsiderate and it will likely get worse. Counseling…
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I feel like it’s completely disrespectful. If he doesn’t concern himself with your feelings then he is not truly in love. Someone who doesn’t respect you will cheat on you.
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maybe u should do opposite talk about other men or if u see guy say wow hes cute and maybe he will understand how u feel
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Let him talk as long as he tells you about all the girls around and he comes home to you every night. guys think about women all the time so let him talk to you instead of somebody at a bar
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If it’s happening frequently, he’s gaslighting you. Tell him how you feel. And don’t listen to the boys will be boys BS… ADULTS don’t play these games. Good luck.
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I hope you are seeing a professional for your PTSD. I know from experience that you have to take care of yourself we tend to always be waiting for the worst to happen
I see nothing wrong in compliments being made I mean does this woman look good after having 5 children? is she,a hard worker? Is this a “new” thing with your husband? Why don’t you “compliment” one of his friends or some male you know see how he feels
See if you could get the marriage annulled after this short time😮. Then find someone who cherishes you for you🙏🏻
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Be could not be an ass like that but you may be insecure as well. I’ve been down this road. Make him jealous. Talk about some hot guy that you have been chatty with?!?!
If u squeeze an orange orange juice comes out no empathy to your feelings based on my life and at I c of people they dont change very easily I was you I run as fast as I can
If he knows it upsets you but still continues to do it, he’s the problem. And it will only get bigger.
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I think that he was disrespectful to you all along and you were hoping that he would change once you both got married a leopard doesn’t change it’s spots , he was that way already before
ive been married 25 years so maybe its because weve gotten more secure in our marriage with time but my husband occasionally makes comments about women. im fine with it.
Not concerned with your feeling that won’t get better it usually get worse with time.Take it fron someone who hung in 17 years it will get better but don’t longer you let him do the worse its going to plus you are the role models for girls don’t take neg talk about other women to after they have heard you say it makes you feel uncomfortable. Your teaching boys its ok to treat women poorly.Its not the message you want to teach them.So sit everyone down at table lay down the issues!!!
Be honest you don’t like comments you don’t like what its teaching your child.put him in I s place
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You are not overreacting, he is abusing you. I would suggest start learning about toxic abuse. Gaslighting, manipulation, etc. Once you start learning about it, you will be able to see it when he does it.
If your husband told you that something you did hurt him, would you be sorry and stop doing it? If the answer is yes, then how can you be overreacting. A normal person who loves their spouse would be apologetic and would stop the behavior.
Why would marry without healing yourself.?why would you marry a man that you are not comfortable with? Why did you marry someone who say those things knowing that they would trigger something. I know he said those things throughout the relationship… if you healed and truly knew your worth you would have dumped him a long time ago and never married him. He’s already showing signs of narcissist… My ex did the same thing. He actually had many many affairs. You about to go through hell unless you get out now.
Can’t believe how many women on here have no respect for their men and his right to his opinions. I understand your feelings are hurt, but remember…it’s not only the woman’s feelings that matter. He also has the right to look, comment, etc. If you aren’t over your trauma from your ex, you aren’t ready to be in another relationship much less married.
Honestly I don’t necessarily think its a sexual thing, I have previously commented on both I know a woman again 5 kids and works and damn yea I wish I could look that good and even commented on the younger generation and there clothing little to little teachings of self respect comes to mind with that subject but each to their own, he married you all men look whether we like to admit it or not
Start dating yourself and meeting new people- men struggle with women who rely on them solely for their self esteem.
Find a good psychotherapist who can manifest change in you - join a group run by Tony Robbins or Sami wunder xx
If it were me in your shoes, I would be miserable with such an insensitive man to my feelings. But Im not in your shoes so I cannot advise you, but I would tell him to cut the crap…or else!!?
If your husband ignores women and can’t admire them he’s ignoring half the population. If he didn’t want you he wouldn’t be with you. Lighten up and appreciate your relationship with him flaws and all
Two can play that game, what’s good for the goose, is good for the gander!
Well first he shouldn’t disrespect u like that u need to set down and tell him not to do that an s if u have already then maybe u need to look at other ways to fix the problem like start going to a marriage counselor
I have a partner who is like this, he would continually comment about other women. You keep smiling and not be brow beaten and start commenting about the attractive men you see when you are out and about. This may make him stop and think! If he objects, tell him, now you know how l feel!
Sounds to me that he’s showing his true colour’s now that there’s a ring and piece of paper…
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Just start doing if too… See the reaction… Say… Hell that guy over there is so gorgeous /ripped/sexy whatever…
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If he disrespect you in any way then he is rude and clearly he is don’t care about your feelings. He does not own you. Only you can make the change and choice… Red Flag.
Why did you marry him2 weeks ago. He obviously has no consideration of your feelings.
Sounds like hes trying to make you feel insecure because he feels insecure.
That is emotional abuse if he continues and you told him it bothers you
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And he never made comments like that the last three years ? , seems strange to start two weeks after your married .
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I really don’t understand why it’s so wrong for people to compliment and lift up other people whether male or female 
. I’m sure he’s said things before you got married two weeks ago so why marry him if you felt that way. I have major issues from previous relationships but that shouldn’t be taken out on current ones especially if you’re in it for the long haul imo. You either work through your issues together or don’t.
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It is hard to understand how they just don’t seem to hear how serious it is when one tells them certain things are triggers to memories that still haunt one.
Think maybe you should let husband feel comfortable to be able to tell you anything…wouldn’t want him to hide anything from you and he may start doing that if he feels cant tell you,( he has to be careful) everything he is thinking
I myself will comment on other men, how good looking they are,etc not because I want to have an affair or any such thing, it would just be a conversation.
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Tell him, if he wants to look at other women, to go ahead and look! Just don’t involve me in it! You don’t care!
Just start commenting on all of the great looking guys that go by. Show him how it feels.
Do it back- literally look at men and make the same comments- make him self conscious about his body, make him see you staring at men- let him be like excuseeee meee…
What’s good for the gander is good for the goose in this case…
Get some counseling ! This is a matter of respect. Gentlemen keep their mouth shut. Remember that sin starts in the heart.
Why can’t women hold each other up and support them?
Some of these comments are ridiculous. Some of y’all act like she’s the one at fault.
Jeez.
Guess I’m just very secure in my relationship because I don’t see this as a huge deal unless you make it one… He Just married YOU… IF he wanted another woman he certainly wouldn’t have gone through with the marriage. We all “look” at attractive people, on tiktok, TV, ETC… but of course we don’t all immediately desire to have an affair. I’m old school…"doesn’t matter where you get your appetite, as long as your not ordering from a strangers menu and you’re eating at home “… Saying that someone " looks good for having 5 kids” doesn’t sound like he wants a relationship with her… you are overreacting in my opinion. It’s just an observation, a comment, if he was hiding something he wouldn’t be saying it to you or in front of you. I mean realistically… do you seriously think he wants to be step daddy to five children?
So has he always talk like this and it’s just irking you now that you are married?
Sometimes we need to look at how we’re interpreting it not just how they’re saying it to see where the issue may lie.
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ANY person who speaks consant and with admire about a person of the oposite sex IS IN LUST plain and simple …GET OUT NOW! you have already lost.
It’s all about respect. You have to tell him it belittles you. If he does it again, close your legs for awhile.
Stand up 4 yr self Nd tell him 2 choose , yr not his door mat.
Have a heart to heart sit down or, write everything in a letter to him. Sometimes reading something is more powerful than words
Get out now it will not get better.i been there for 9 years
Make similar comments about other men and see how he responds to to it. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
It hurts you. He knows this. Its abuse.
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Would he like it if you made comments about food looking men? He probably can dish it out, but cannot take the same type of comments from you.
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What I have done is compare people to cans of soup. A good looking to your favorite soup. Not so good looking to your least favorite
My EX did that to me…talking about how the women that worked where he worked were all flirting with him and saying sexy things. He told me that stuff every day till I finally noticed a pattern. He knew I didn’t like it so he did it to make me mad and then he would leave the house saying he wasn’t going to stay there with me yelling at him, stayed gone till after bedtime. I wanted to show him how it felt because he didn’t seem to listen when I told him, so one night I did the same thing he did so he would know how it felt! I went out of town with his cousin Clara and w didn’t get back till after midnight! She came by the house and picked me up and left him home with the kids and didn’t tell he hust like he did me!
Quick reply “maybe because they’ve not got you in their life, it’s definitely a possible contributing factor”
Did he make those comments before you married him? If he did then why would you marry him
Turn that one around, start commenting on men, “ohh bet he’s got nice Abbs, look at his butt”. Men are insecure too!?
Why would you marry him?
Have confidence in your self and your partner and you married this person so trust untill you can’t
You are not overreacting, That is disrespectful.
Oh honey you dont wanna hear what I think about that
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He’s disrespecting you. Dump him
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Tell him his brother and your neighbor Mr Jack is fitter than him 
Did he do that before you married him? If he did, then you’re a fool. He’s an insensitive lout!
No. He’s insensitive to say the least!!!
You are insecure and he is disrespectful.
You knew he was like that why would you marry him
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Maybe he feels comfortable telling you things.
A wife should be treated like he see,s no other!
I tell my husband you can look but don’t touch
Your feelings are not invalid. Do not overlook them.
That’s a narcissist honey if he’s trying to turn it on you
Don’t waste too much time with him.
Not cool. He’s an ASS