Mama stand your ground. This is not good for you to be around nor your children. Do you want your little ones to see this is how you love? Do you want them to recreate what they are watching?
I’m not trying to say this to be rude I’m saying this to be real. I grew up thinking that that was how love was. My parents fought all the time. As a child it gave me a lot of problems. The anxiety of never knowing what the mood was going to be. It has literally affected me in my adulthood. It’s taken me a long time to get over and to work through and to realize that it wasn’t my fault.
Couples therapy can help you learn to communicate more effectively
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Sounds like your both frustrated. Also seems like no communication taking place. Perhaps have a go at counseling like some previously said, before breaking up your family. It’s hard to go back once you’ve pulled the plug.
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you went from one abusive relationship to another, Sorry to tell you this, He is NOT the sweetest, caring man who thought you knew. Either stay in this marriage thinking it is going to change, which it has for the worst & only going to get even worst or leave. Your choice & only you can decide what is best for you
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Run, run, run. It only gets worse from here, my ex was exactly the same way and he walked out on me and our 3 kids. Ever since, I’ve been happier but my oldest, 4, has been really struggling with why daddy isn’t coming home.
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This is what I am seeing…you want to quit your job because you are unhsppy…but he is frustrated with you over that because yall need the money…he snapped at you because you were talking while he is on the phone…he got frustrated with you because you got frustrated with your child…he got irritated with you because you wouldn’t have sex with him (how many times have you turned him down?) There is a LOT of cause and effect going on here… and it isnt your husband. I think you need to take a good look at yourself…and seek professional help before deeming this husband and this marriage abusive.
I have been through this as well, it will never end. Now he passed away and the bruises gone, the words he use to throw at me is there all the time now
It’s been 12 years and I don’t want another man. I was in my early 30s when he passed, you think I would of found love. But no. He really took alot from me.
So get out!!!
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The question is how to you handle your ups and downs? It’s not 
the problem. Find a better job before you leave your current job
Are you sure he’s the sweetest most caring man???
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Leave and give him an ultamation b 4 going back tell him your not going through that again.x good luck.x
A therapist is what you need not Facebook!!!
He’s definitely not the sweetest.
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Maybe extend some grace?
Maybe he is worried about you leaving your job because of the money issues you mentioned? Leaving your job without something else lined up would cause more stress for him.
If you know that him being nice is his form of apology, maybe accept it?
I was not raised in a family that apologized. I used to do the same thing to my husband. If I did something that hurt him I would be super nice to apologize. It wasn’t until he said he likes to hear it verbalized that I switched to verbally telling him. Even then it took a lot of time. We’ve been together since 2007 I’m pretty sure I’m an apology pro now. Lol!
It would help for you to talk to him about his form of apology?
As far as your child goes… Talk about that too!
A marriage takes LOTS of patience and love and hard work. I’d recommend before running away from this one you try to communicate with him and find a therapist if that doesn’t work.
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That sounds like narcissistic behavior and would really reevaluate how much you love yourself and then figure out if it’s time to call it.
Join Surviving my Narcissist and see if any other stories resonate with you.
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That’s not fair for him to talk to you like that. Or in front of your child. Money issue can put a strain on any relationship/marriage. But he’s not communicating with you, he’s yelling and being cruel to you. Before leaving you leave your current job, you should have another job lined up. That’s probably what made him upset, especially since you already mention money issues.
I would be mad about my s/o for trying to quit their job without something else lined up too.
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Very normal relationship…ups and downs. Respond to him by not responding. You both are in need of therapy…you are carrying your past relationship with this. It’s not his fault your past was not good. He doesn’t need to prove he is better…on the other hand…he may be no different than your ex. So, you are the problem also! Change it! Get help. Remove yourself.
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Sounds like yall are having financial issues. Maybe stress. Yall may need some kind of outlets instead of snapping at eachother
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Uhm maybe talk to him. Like actually talk, not attack or be frustrated when you do so, making it seem like you are. Males are human too. They are allowed ups and downs just like us… but never mind you’ll pack your bag and your child’s bag like everyone is saying and disrupt your child’s life more than it already has because you probably think you’ve “talked to him” instead of at him. All of these “slay the males” females trip me out. You gotta work for yourself and your relationship.
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I think he needs to get on some
Medication and to get into counseling together. What he is doing is abusive. If he won’t get into counseling and try to change it is probably time to go.
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Unmedicated untreated bipolar?
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sounds to me like he is a narcissist be careful
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Sounds a lot more like a narcissistic personality than a sweet one. Know your worth.Good luck sweetie.
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LEAVE him. It’s just going to get worse.
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A past relationship where the bar is low or the lowest may make your next relationship seem a lot better when really it’s just a small step above. Therapy and healing properly from the last before the next could better ensure you don’t except another abusive situation that’s only appears better.
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He sounds like a narcissist ass with how he is treating you.
You know the signs, you’ve been here before. Is he always this way? No. But that doesn’t mean it’s ok when he is.
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Togetherness is hard work.
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It may be time to speak with a professional. You two need to actually talk some things out. If you guys are financially stressed that’s going to cause problems. Also it doesn’t sound like either of you communicate well. What was the conversation surrounding your two weeks and taking it back? We all have stressors and they affect all of us. Personally if I was him and we were financially not good and then my partner put in their two weeks and you don’t mention having another job lined up I would be stressed to the max esp with a child. I’d be short with my partner for putting all of the financial strain on me. If you need another job then start searching for a job that’s better before you just up and leave if at all possible. Partners aren’t mind readers so tell him hey you hurt me when you did/ said XYZ I was unaware you were on the phone. In the future give me a heads up. If you aren’t feeling sex then don’t do it stand your ground on that.
Maybe he’s just reacting to your unstable behavior. Quitting your job, snapping at your kid, cutting off the bedroom activities.
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You are dealing with a narcissistic person and It doesn’t get better, you need to leave while your child is still little.
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That is what you call controlling.
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Maybe you guys need some time together just the two of you. Seems like there are lots of stressors going on and sometimes it’s good to step back and refocus.
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I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid or that you don’t deserve to be treated better— but with just the information you’ve provided in the short snippet above… my mind does not go automatically to abuse. It sounds like you are both over stressed— with finances, you hating your job, add a young child to that mix and it sounds like you’re both stretched thin. Just like you snapping at your child out of exhaustion— it’s possible him snapping at you while he was on the phone was a knee jerk reaction. I can recall a time or a million I’ve done this to my kids. I honestly hardly ever apologize after I realize they didn’t know I was on the phone. Once the moment is over… it’s out of sight out of mind for me. If you’re ready to quit your job when y’all are already strapped financially and you haven’t lined up other work or tried to help him figure out how to increase the household income— it’s possible he doesn’t feel valued or appreciated. Y’all both probably need some time to reflect and recenter yourselves. Breathe and take it one day at a time. Try not to let the stress from one day carry over into the next.
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Sit down and talk to him! COMMUNICATION is key to any healthy relationship. It is insane how often people’s advice is to “leave” the moment things get tough. At that rate, marriage wouldn’t exist anymore. Sit your husband down and explain to him how you feel. Ask him how he is feeling and if there is something he is going through that he might be unfairly projecting onto you.
Now, as far as your job goes, I agree with your husband. You have a child to think about and bills to be paid. Quitting a job without another one lined up is irrational. I understand you might be miserable but you have to hang in there a little bit more until you find another one. Your husband might have felt overwhelmed with the financial aspect of it and worrying if his income would cover everything…
Bottom line, TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND. I wish you the best and hope things get better!
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You’re fighting about money, and you quit your job without another lined up. Yes, he got angry. Wouldn’t you if the tables were reversed? And rather than fuss at the kid, get up and deal. Move them, distract them. Maybe he is just tired of hearing you whine too.
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You teach people how to treat you.
I wouldn’t ask for advice from strangers most people are just going to assume you’re in the right and tell you to leave your relationship!
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Domestic Violence isn’t just physical its mental too, my partner is the same and he makes me feel horrible about everything I do but all I do is my best to look after him and our son but it’s never good enough, it’s mentally and physically draining, staying In relationships like this will hurt more than it will to leave
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He may seem like the greatest husband but in your heart you know that he is abusing you.
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Narcissist through and through
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Has it been going on for a while? I know the last 2 months everyone has been on edge. Sit down and talk to him. All men guilt trip. I haven’t came a cross one that hasn’t. Maybe take a step back and think. Sounds like he’s stressing but it doesn’t make it right.
God didn’t put us here to except any type of abuse 
. Life issues is hard enough, .
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What u take will always happen. Change it. Get better job. Go outside and enjoy life. Don’t accept his abuse anymore. Make changes for ur best life.
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If you can’t sit down with your husband and talk about the things that bother you, if he refuses to listen and doesn’t change his ways, then I’m sorry to say hun, but he never will, and you need to get out. Or stay and deal with this, the way it is, for as long as you can handle it. Either way, I wish you luck!
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Honestly it sounds like he is just overwhelmed and probably feels like the weight of everything is on him. See if there is anything you can do to take the load off of him. You can also try talking to him
Lots of men can develop mental problems in their 20s that was not present in childhood & teen years.
I would look into his family history to see if there’s any mental illness, & if so what. Then have him see a doctor to discuss these issues.
They are not always “severe” & most times they can live a normal happy life when they figure out the problem. But it’s mostly due to the chemical imbalances that happen as more adult hormones take over. Add in work, relationship, kids, responsibility & it just becomes to much to handle without professional help.
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Do you not have another job lined up before putting in the two weeks notice? Did you talk to him about losing the income and discuss it or just say your not happy and quit? After the years we’ve been together when my husband wants quiet on the phone he goes outside. Are you communicating with him about how you feel or just bottling it all up to leave? If you want to leave then do it but you should at least communicate first.
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Save your money and get out unless you want your child to repeat what is happening to you
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The fact you wanna leave for a bit is a sign maybe you should. Put your foot down and tell him you’re done with how he treats you if he’s willing to go to couples therapy with you and work it out that’s fine but if he goes right back to his old ways leave again and stick to it.
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Since it seems like this isn’t a normal occurrence, I would say sit down and lay it all out for him. If he wants to make progress and fix your relationship, than maybe it can be fixed. There is no type of behavior that is harmful to another human being that’s considered “normal”. However, I do know when certain people are stressed, they tend to lash out at others. It sounds like money maybe a source of stress for you both and maybe its something you guys should discuss in length. I would also make a rule to not have these kinds of fights in front of the kids. It’s simple, he either changes and finds a suitable, appropriate way to deal with his stress or you separate.
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Women who use sex as a bargaining point or to get their way have a special place in hell!
He’s not the sweetest most caring guy. Start there…. He’s not perfect. Maybe you can fix it… but I wouldn’t put up with that
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Sounds like you two need at least a break…maybe a little time apart to miss one another or not miss them at all??? Nothing can stop you for looking online at other jobs…go for it
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To me it sounds like he’s feeding off of your energy. My husband is like that. If I’m in a bad mood, so is he, if I’m happy, so is he, and so on. It’s like my energy sets the mood for both of us
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Sounds like you got yourself a narcissist.
The job- did you both agree to you quitting or did you make that decision on your own? If you didnt talk to him and you came home letting him know you put your notice when money is tight thats probably why. Keep looking for another job and start applying. As for him being annoyed while he was on the phone, he may have thought you knew ans didnt care-id be annoyed too. Finally, in regards to your child-he may have felt you over reacted and were being too harsh. You both need to work on your communication and you need to tell him how his words hurt you and make you want to leave.maybe try marriage counseling
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Welcome to life with a narcissist.
He sounds almost like a narcissist. They way he is communicating doesn’t seem healthy and seems like he needs some mental health help.
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He needs to be a grownup… You need to put your foot down
Your husband may have a c h epically imbalance.
Honey, you’re in ANOTHER emotionally abusive relationship. He’s controlling and gaslighting you.
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Sounds like hubby may have something going on outside the house! Pay attention.
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People are quick to throw that narcissist word around theses days. You didn’t say how long youve been married? Maybe he has a lot of stress due to financial worries or his job which sounds possible. Society conditions men that they are supposed to handle these things more or less stoically, so many men don’t share their worries with their wives. All marriages go through difficult times. When you are living with some one all the time, their less than positive traits that you took lightly during the “in love phase” can start to grate on one’s nerves. Only you know if the good outweighs the bad. That’s the question in every relationship for each partner.
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You cannot change him
Realise this now
If y’all love each other as much as you say you do then try couples counseling🤷♀️
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Don’t fight, tell him you are both on the same side. If you get your feelings hurt, let him know that it hurts but don’t fight
Sweetest most caring man my foot! Manipulating a**hole is a better description
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Narcissistic personality disorder alert! Pack your stuff. It will only get worse
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Sounds like stress. Sit down and talk. Show him this message. Geez why are people so quick to bail?
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It sounds like he is stressed. Seems as if there’s a lot going on in his head that he’s not talking about. Sex would help relieve some of that stress.
It has been a very trying year for our whole country. Alot of worries about money with inflation, utilities, food, gas and every other bill is increasing more than paychecks. Always find another job before leaving the one you have. Aggressively look. Every place I see has help wanted signs. When we have financial stress we tend to take it out on the ones around us, even our little ones. Also sounds like a few days away can’t hurt. Everyone needs a break sometimes. Don’t be afraid to discuss your feeling and if he is not open to discussion take some time away from him to sort out your feelings. Can’t hurt to speak to a counselor.
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Sounds like a Narcissist.
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Control…over you…to where you’re walking on eggshells in your home… Snapping at your child, when in reality your angry at the situation your in and how your being treated…you probably feel as if you have no voice at all and God forbid if you’d use it.
The Alfalfa male…please become an Alfalfa Female…
Stand up for yourself girl…
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Therapy! He may have a personality disorder
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What kind of illness does he have? My husband did this before I made him see a psychiatrist. He was diagnosed with BP and depression, after 6 months of swapping out meds we finally found the right ones that stabilized him. No more cycling! He did inpatient therapy, weekly psych visits, and weekly behavior management classes to get to that point though.
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Sending love to u both 
this past year has been SO hard for everyone and cause major mental issues for most whether it was a flair up of previous issues or just new ones. It sounds like u both have been affected mentally and maybe therapy would be good even if it’s separate which I do recommend. U each should see ur own and then one together. Ur getting overly frustrated from stress,u both are and most likely a little depression/anxiety mixed in. U both need a “me” day. Let him go for a day and then u go for a day. Relax and balance. If u need someone to talk to I’m here. Good luck
Is he in any medication? Alcohol?
How about going for counseling?
This is an abusive relationship!! Get your child and yourself out of it now!!
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Talk to him pull him aside and tell him life sucks, stop whining, and if it doesn’t stop he can leave. Maybe he did something financially, and he’s stuck. My husband spends way to much but he never answers to it. He’s mad at you because something else is happening. Either money or in a relationship. Only two things men care about.
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Pack up your self and the child then make like a tree and leave, if possible
If you have the urge to pack and go, your gut is telling you all you need to know. Get your baby and follow your gut.
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male behavior isn’t a thing. you’re either a decent person or you’re not
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Sounds like history repeating, you know the signs this time so get your intuitive game on!
You know it’s how it all starts… n then… n then… next minute your fully controlled and trying to escape
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That’s not normal behaviour it’s emotional and mental abuse
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This is not normal behaviour for anyone. The fact that you already want to pack is your gut telling you that you and your little one need to leave.
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Is this a sudden change in his behavior? If so, I’d talk to his doctor. Then I’d see a marriage counselor and look at more productive ways to resolve differences first, then at any power imbalance in your relationship.
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Sounds like a my kids dad not on proper meds… maniac bipolar. If he won’t get help start packing up distretlty
… slip necessary stuff out… save up money in cash else where … like write a check of money owed to a friend …etc have them store your money be cautious .
Donate stiff you don’t need to a friend if he is really observant… have them store it for u…
He is emotionally abusing you. Leave now
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Sorry. You are NOT in a good relationship. You need counseling. AND a lawyer. He sounds like a narcissistic meanie. Think hard about how you really feel.
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Snapping and being impatient are normal in a marriage especially if you’ve been arguing a lot and you have financial stress and worry. Not to mention carrying all that both you working with a little one to take care of.
I would just try to break out of your routines and make time for each other or family time together doing something fun. Do something special for him like a love note in his lunch or in his car. Pick up his favorite candy bar etc
Just little things can show you appreciate him and show love and hopefully that spreads and you have a happier more peaceful time at home together
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He isn’t acting normal. When was the last time he saw a Dr? He sounds Bipolar. My daughter has it and it can be controlled with meds and a Drs help.
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It sounds like he’s stressed out, and probably about finances. I know he should snap at you, but let’s be real, we all snap when we’re stressed. Did you suddenly put in your notice without talking about it with him? Did you have another job lined up? If you didn’t and you knew you couldn’t afford it, he had a right to be mad. You admit you were talking to him while he was on the phone, which is rude, then you got upset he snapped at you to stop?
Maybe before blaming him for all your relationship problems, you should take some responsibility for your part. Have an honest conversation. Apologize for the things you did wrong, and give him space to do the same. Let him know why his reactions/actions hurt you, but do it in a way that doesn’t come across accusingly.
You’ll find a LOT if people aren’t happy at their jobs but they suck it the hell up so they can pay their bills. Also, maybe you would benefit from some type of therapy.
