Am I overreacting?

Relationships
1
The father to my children and I have been together off and on for 7 years. We’re more like friends who have the same kids, rather then lovers or whatever we used to call each other. We dont have outlandish fights. We just can’t really be around each other for more then a little bit with out getting overly annoyed with each other. And quite literally-and I feel horrible saying this- but his lack of common sense and other things he does on a daily basis, drives me absolutely insane. We have 2 children together. He loves his children, no doubt about that. But he’s not really nurturing. If I didn’t meal prep and set out activity’s for the kids, they would be allowed to play video games all day and eat pizza rolls 3 times a day. The kids have no bedtime unless I get off work early, and it’s like a free for all all the time. (3.5 and 1 years old) I can’t stand that. It doesn’t matter how what when or where I try and talk him that I hate his parenting, it never Changes. It never will.

I work, he stays home with the kids because he doesn’t want to work. We can afford daycare so he can work, but he wants to cut wood in the winter and stay home the rest of the year. After many years of battling this, I finally said fine! No problem.
I work 65 hours a week, which honestly is fine with me because It keeps me out of the house and then I have excuses to get out of the house just me and the kids when I have a day off. But here’s where I’m having issues. I make good money, and we could make even more if he worked. we live in a one bedroom apartment because he doesn’t want to move forward In life. I want a house and space so badly it makes me sick. It’s not enough space and I’m losing my mind. Daily anxiety attacks suck. We drive a old car because he doesn’t want me to get something newer because that cost money. He never wants to go do anything fun because that cost money. I think you get he point. But like, I’ll be dammed if I’m just gonna sit with thousands of dollars in my bank, twiddling my thumbs on the couch because he doesn’t want to do anything that cost money.
But if he needs something for his video games it doesn’t matter the cost, it’s bought.
Obviously at this point, Your probably thinking, well then leave. You have money and a good job. Leave.

But I can’t bring my self to do it. I watched my mom turn my dad into a monster. And even though I know Im not my mom that just replays in my head. But the flip side of that is, yes, he loves his kids, but like, you can’t just sit there all day long and not do anything with your kids. How long do I let this happen before I leave for the last time because he’s doing more damage to the kids then good. or am I just over reacting about the nurturing our children. I honestly believe there’s a huge difference between keeping your children alive and actually nurturing their little minds to grow into great people. The couple of times I’ve left in the past, he falls off the face of the earth and doesn’t even call his kids till the child support papers show up.

I will add his dad is the same exact way. And he reminds me of this all the time, and I remind him that I’m not trying to raise 2 kids to be just like him and his father.