Sooo this has really been bothering me. Yesterday, I was at the grocery store and (naturally) I was approached by several people. I’m out in public with a one week old and people love babies. Anyway, this man (had to be over 60) asked me how she (meaning my daughter) was doing with the formula shortage. I told him she’s not on formula and then he proceeded to praise me for doing what was best for her. About 5 hours later, it clicked and I started to feel uncomfortable. I feel like I was tricked into saying I BF, for one. First of all, not your business. What if I did feed her formula? You don’t know if it’s by preference or a need. That hit me pretty hard because my I struggled to produce enough with my first 4. Now, the whole thing feels like a creepy backhanded compliment.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting?
I feel like you’re reading too much into it… that’s just my opinion though.
Reading too much into it. Stop overthinking lol
I think you’re overreacting. Don’t overthink it he’s older and prob just feels breast is best.
Deffo over reacting, can see how it’s a little creepy, maybe…but don’t ruin your day about it. Move on
Yes ur overreacting!!!
Fed is best. Don’t read too much into it.
People always praise a nursing mom. I get praised constantly. It’s weird and annoying but Americans stigmatized nursing so now it seems like a heroic task
Yea your totally overreacting! Chill! You will prob never see that man again!
I don’t think it was meant that way at all.
Bro you sound insane lol
Definitely overreacting. I’m sure he meant well.
percent thinking too much into it. You were getting praise as a mother. Take it. Some people have to rely on formula but luckily that isn’t your situation with your baby.
Yes you’re overreacting. I would see it as an genuinely concerned with what’s happening in your country right now
Sounds more like an old man making conversation and probably would have given you praise as a mom no matter what you answered
Older generation… probably didn’t mean any harm at all…
Don’t read too much into it. The older gentleman was probably just concerned. Then, obviously he was relieved to know you are doing fine.
Girl is yo hormones chill💕
Wow. Lol. The post baby hormones are real. It is not creepy and no it wasn’t a back handed compliment…
Girl what?! Gtfo with that nonsense.
Definitely overreacting. You could’ve just answered with a “we’re doing just fine” if admitting to a stranger you breastfeed bothered you that much
Regardless of how you feel, it is pretty gross. If you formula fed your baby, you wouldn’t be doing what’s best for your kid? What a stupid comment to make.
definitely over thinking this!
Oof momma your hormones are still on hyper drive. You are wayyy over reacting . We can’t say “normalize bf” then get mad at people praising you quite innocently . I’m saying this as a formula feeding “get rid of breadt is best” mantra
I think his approach to you shows that he wouldn’t judge you if she was formula fed but understands that breastfeeding is best.
Why is it bad to say you’re breastfeeding. He didn’t appear to think breastfeeding is sexual or embarrassing. Do you?
You’re completely over reacting and overthinking this. Really sounds like it was an innocent question and he was just making conversation.
It was rude of him to comment but don’t let it stay with you.
Pregnancy hormones still controlling you
You’re overthinking it
Nobody cares if you breastfeed or bottle feed lol…
I would bet all the money I have that that man meant nothing at all like that. You are absolutely reading into it the way this world wants us to. Constantly offended assuming other peoples’ intentions are bad.
You’re reaching for drama soooo far
I’m embarrassed for you rn
You’re reaching. Old people come from a different time, he believes that you ARE doing what’s best for your baby based on your response to a thoughtful question about a current crisis, & he politely congratulated you for that. That old dude doesn’t care about the bf formula debate lmao
I think you are overthinking it, I think he was just saying that it was a good idea since there was such a formula shortage. The word breast does not always cause dudes to get erections, it’s a part of your body that was made to feed babies, it sounds like you have sexualized it more than he did
You’re thinking into it too much.
Lol definitely overreacting! All good girl!
What?? Sounds like he’s been watching the news and was just trying to be friendly.
If it took you 5 hours to get offended, I would just let it go. Seems like he just was being friendly and asking about the baby, we see on the news and social media about how bad the shortage is and how so many can’t bf. He is probably not in tune with anyone with babies and was just happy to see a momma and happy baby not affected.
Pretty sure he was being genuine. Don’t read into it and overreact.
Reaching get over yourself
Take a compliment where the compliments are due. good job
You are overthinking it. He meant no disrespect.
I think you’re probably overreacting I wouldn’t worry about it he was probably just genuinely concerned like everybody else it takes a village to raise a child these days. And it’s scary what’s going on in our world
Nah girl, you’re overthinking it too much
Yeah, not that serious sis lol
Over reacting! He probably would have had a nice comment regardless. How can anyone trick you into saying you’re breastfeeding?!!
Wayyyyy over thinking it hun
He probably had children of his own that his wife breastfeed and knows how much more healthier it is!!! My husband is one of them!! Some men are in tune to life! Others don’t give a care!!
Maybe you’re not aware of this but back in the day people actually used to make conversation with strangers in public.
Babe focus on your baby and stop reading into it. You will raise your blood pressure for nothing.
Apparently you got nothing going on in your life but to make much ado over something so trivial…
It’s not like he asked you if you were breast-feeding he asked how you were doing with the formula shortage and then you said you breast-fed. So it’s not like he was all up in your business￼. Take the compliment ￼
I wouldn’t let it get it you. The older generations probably do truly feel that breastfeeding is what’s best, even though the thought process has shifted to ‘fed is best’ (also my thought too because some people just cannot breastfeed so as long as baby is fed, it doesn’t matter) If he didn’t try to carry on a conversation revolving around you specifically breastfeeding after making that comment, I wouldn’t think too much of it.
Reaching for air at this point babe.
I don’t think it’s creepy or backhanded. But the idea that breastfeeding is best needs to go.
Waaay over thinking it
Don’t overthink it and make it into something he never intended
Reaching. It sounds like he was being pretty genuine. Believe it or not there are actually people who you don’t personally know who hope and pray your child isn’t affected by the shortage.
I’ve had a ton say the same to me but I formula and bf. But I never think anything about it
I literally can’t with the posts on this page anymore
While it’s always good to be aware I think you’re probably reading too much into this. Older people (not that I think 60 is older but…) especially men, don’t often think before they speak. Again, it’s always good to be aware of your surroundings and don’t engage too much but he was probably harmless.
Maybe he was just being nice… reading too much into it I think. Lots of people are struggling, others are worried. I bf, but was stopped in a store by a man asking if I use formula, simply because he saw a store nearby just got a shipment in.
Get over yourself take a compliment
Idk I think people are just nosey, not always mean or manipulative.
I think you are choosing to be offended.
I could have been that man. I love babies and strike up conversations with people. Sometimes we look for the bad in situations when we need to see positive
Maybe he was going to tell where he saw some formula at
Or maybe he was just genuinely curious and concerned.
maybe he wanted to buy you formula
me personally and not trying too be harsh… but get over it. lol. he was probably more than likely not trying too be creepy & was curious about how the formula situation if she is on it is going. it was more than likely a genuine question from the sounds of it. and your overreacting a bit just think… what would make you so special a random dude in the store is gonna try and trick you into asking about breastfeeding
You overthinking … He’s been conversational. And yes bf is best … It’s a fact … But due to circumstances if u can’t do it u can’t do it… no stress
Think you’re overreacting
This is the stupidest post I have ever read. Get over it!!!
I think he was just a nice old man with his own family who likes babies.
Wow. Is this even real?
Who cares. Sounds like you would be offended regardless of what he said.
I think some ladies are lucky to bf… I couldn’t bf w any of my kids I tried… but I’m gonna try w this one if I can…
Overthinking it and overreacting.
I seen this post on another group a few days ago leave the poor man alone he was only worried about the milk shortages Jesus
I’m sorry but I think you’re overreacting. You are pregnant for nine months. During those nine months your hormones change drastically. It usually takes at least nine months for them to get back “normal”.
Definitely overeacting. That was a compliment. Was it creepy because he was “old”?
You’re really allowing this to get to you? Yes, you are overreacting.
Get over yourself!!! You are literally LOOKING for a reason to be offended!!! Grow up and go feed your baby….
He was just making conversation.
Wtf? Sounds like he was just being nice and maybe would have offered help if you needed formula
Definitely sounds like you’re reaching…
they were probably just concerned or going to suggest places they have heard of that have formula or something if you were needing it or and praised you for breastfeeding because it’s not easy and sometimes it’s nice to be validated.
IMO, you’re overreacting
I think your PPA might be playing tricks on your brain.
Oh relax!! He was simply inquiring about the shortage of formula!!
Not All are creaps! You could have just says she’s good thanks, but you opened the door that made you uncomfortable with your thoughts.
You definitely OVERTHOUGHT it . “Clicked 5 hours later” like…. Come on now.
I think you might be overthinking this transaction of words…. If he was that creepy I don’t think a mom or really anyone would continue or even start a conversation… imo
The average man over 60 is just making conversation. Many people do just like babies and want to encourage you.
Get out of your fucking feelings lol
From the sound of it, maybe reproducing is not a thing you should do since you literally turned that around into something so fucking petty. Are you 12? Jesus christ.
Yeah you’re reaching my girl.
He should not have mentioned doing what is best. Some people can’t breastfeed. Some people just don’t want to. As long as your baby is eating that is what is best for any baby. Not what they are eating. He probably didn’t mean anything, but either way don’t let it bother you. You are feeding your baby no matter how and that is all that is important just keep your head up and remember it is your baby and you will do what is best for your baby and don’t let others people’s opinions make you feel like you shouldn’t care about what someone else says. People should not care how the baby is fed just that the baby is being fed. You are doing good no matter how you feed her