My husband and I have had many many arguments about his games and tv shows! My argument is the game will always be there but our time with the kids will not! It’s not about you anymore it’s about the kids and what they need. I said quit being selfish and help out! At one point I went and literally unplugged his game because he was so loud playing it and was up until like 3am. After many fights and him waking up our daughter many times from playing his game. We then made an agreement nothing past 12am and that he doesn’t get on until the kiddos are in bed. If he wants to plan something that is fine but he gets one night then I get the next. So we compromised. He doesn’t always follow it but he doesn’t stay up late anymore and if he is watching his shows and gets upset cause our daughter wants to watch one of her shows I go “again it’s not about you” !! Don’t ever feel bad because you are asking for help for your kids! Sometime people need to realize IT’S NOT ABOUT THEM ANYMORE… and GROW TF UP! Lol good luck.
He needs to grow up… my man plays video games almost daily after work, it’s his hobby, but he will leave a game in a heartbeat if I need something or help around the house.
U know he’s sitting there playing against 13 year old boys with no responsibility right. Wait until the child is in the way of the screen boy they get mad then
Couldn’t be me. I’d act such a damn fool that any time after that I called for him he’d be there before I could even call his name!!! I can’t stand mankids!!! 
I love these scenarios where we only hear one side of the story. How do yall know he didnt have the baby all day and is trying to take an hour for himself? Im not saying that their arent plenty of dudes who have their priorities mixed up but yall straight crucify anyone who plays video games and thats not right either. Everyone has hobbies, of course they shouldnt come before your children, but we only have one (very young sounding) perspective here and very little background. Dude should put up his game and spend time with the fam, but it definitely isnt worth going nuclear over.
You dont live together? Perhaps just stay home.
Been there, and no you are not over reacting! I dont know why a lot of people make it seem like it’s funny! Once I wrote a similar post and everyone laughed at me, I thought I was over reacting given the feedback that I had, so I stayed, later things got out of hand cause in reality the problem is LACK OF RESPECT not the video games!
Try to discuss it with him, if he doesn’t want to compromise, or see a couple therapist, girl pack up and run… I waited for him for years. Eventually it’s not up to you to make someone spend time with you, if they love you they will do it voluntarily.
I used to do it all on my own, and I felt like I’m a single parent and his slave. He would even swear at us if we talk to him while he’s playing, family time did not exist, he never took good care of the child not even if I had a fever. Whatever you decided keep in mind that you and your child deserve the best, to say the least, you deserve to be happy in your own home. Good luck
Relaxing?? Dose he know how stressful it can be to get a baby to settle!! Hes a right joke
, I would be kicking him to the carb and saying don’t come back till you man up and be a parent.
Don’t stay with him anymore until he grows up
My husband is always at his computer. I was taking language classes (I live in Belgium and don’t speak Dutch). My son told me while I’m gone his dad sits on his computer with his headphones and pays him no attention. And that he’s “not nice” at bedtime. I had to drop out of my classes. My son asks all the time why daddy doesn’t play with him (he’s turning 4 in a couple weeks). I’m working on our way out as my husband is the primary money maker. It hurts my heart so much that my husband doesn’t want to be apart of his son’s life. My son hurts because of it. If you have other options please don’t put your baby through this
Did we marry the same guy?
He better learn to multi task and grow up, my hubs will play games & he has baby sitting on his lap zoning at the tv 
and if baby needs something he’ll definitely pause.
I’m a huge gamer, I totally get not wanting to die after putting so much time into it BUT when I had a baby (3 in total now) I wasn’t gaming unless my baby was asleep. Even then I didn’t play often since I was soooo tired after taking care of a baby and household duties.
When you have a child, your responsibilities have to change with it. My ex-husband was also a gamer and before our son, we would game all the time. When our son came along, I stopped playing 95% of the time because there were things I had to do for my child. My ex, he kept playing and acting like nothing changed. We split because he couldn’t realize that he needed to be a FATHER now. I’m now remarried to someone who loves gaming but also knows he has to be responsible first. The kids are 13, 9, and almost 6. I FINALLY get to game a decent amount of time 
and so does my husband. But when they were all little, all that was put on the back burner until our little ones were big enough not to need constant attention, care and an intense watchful eye.
I’ve seen some comments about “choosing your child’s father wisely” well, I thought I did at first too but you don’t realize they won’t put down the game and be a father until you have a child. Just because they’re a gamer doesn’t mean they’ll be like this once they’re a parent. I was/am a huge gamer but I put that to the side when I had my child/children. I didn’t know my ex husband was going to keep on living life like he was childless until there was a child.
I see some people saying “pick your battles”, nah. I understand your frustration. This is one of those “last straw” issues. After not helping with everything else, the fact he can’t simply bring you a binky was the last straw type of thing. I get it. My last straw with my ex was when I was sick and I asked him to simply change our sons diaper. I had spent half a year solely taking care of our baby while he played games, and our son had acid reflux BAD and I could barely put him down without him screaming bloody murder. I was running on a couple of broken up hours of sleep for 6 months and now sick. I just wanted him to change ONE diaper. And he couldn’t put the controller down for me or our son. I was done. I ended up leaving him and let me tell you, it can be hard to leave but it feels way less frustrating solely taking care of your child when the other parent isn’t there and just choosing not to help. It’s infuriating to actively watch someone not be a parent to their child. If you have talked and talked to him about it, poured your heart out about your frustrations, concerns and wants/needs, and he STILL disregards you and your child to play video games, just leave him. You’ll be better off not having that stress and frustration sitting on the couch playing video games and ignoring his family. Sorry this is so long haha, but been there and done that and I’m a gamer so I fully understand this whole situation.
I get both sides of this but really you could’ve went to get it and not waited 30+ minutes y’all both have something’s to work on
It don’t get better with the video games my dear. Been there done that.
Throw the “man” and gaming system away.
My husband and I have always since day one of having babies had an agreement. During the day he doesn’t touch the game. Only at night when we are sleeping that is his time. He worked night shift so he really saved it for his days off. It’s all about love and respect. You guys need to come to an agreement.
My fiance played video games when my son was younger and when I needed help he’d drop it come grab my son and let me get things done.
You’re husband really needs to grow up and help or give him a ultimatum games or family.
That’s a boy, not a man
Sounds like my brother. He doesn’t have any kids, but when we were younger any time my mom called him to do something he’d shout back “I’m in the middle of a mission!” 10 minutes later my mom would come stomping up the stairs with the wooden spoon 
He’s a dad now time too grow up
I’m sure there are ways to pause a video game . make sure he finds out.
My bf was like this. He chilled now that our baby is getting big. He is now 4 months. Ya he does play on his game. He’ll have baby next to him. On the swing. Baby liked to watch daddy play. When he cried he has a bottle next to him. When in at work. He puts him to sleep. (When he was sick he had to stay home with him). Now that I had quit my job for discrimination. I’m home with baby. Ya I lack in chores because baby takes 30 minute naps. And I can do so much when he sleeps. Daddy doesn’t get upset. He knows baby comes first. He tell me not to stress. ECT. But ya you either set boundaries. Or he still wanna be a child. And you leave him.
Oh hell no. That BOY needs to grow up and be a man. My guy plays games too, but is fully present during family activities. We’ve had some fights over it before, but now he totally gets it and is fully involved. He needs to grow up.
If he was at that point in the game on WarZone then it wasn’t going to be another 30minutes … esp if he was already dead. I get the feeling of not letting your teammates down bc I also play CoD and we’d set up play time prior. But crying baby isnt something you want either. He could’ve had his teammates watch him while he multitasked.
He needs to grow up! Sad Dad😢
Tell him he’s a sad excuse for a father & until he’s actually gonna man up then he can stay away from you & do his own thing while you parent since he’s obviously to busy.
That’s not a “favor”. That’s parenting. If he can’t put the game down to be a parent, then he doesn’t deserve her
I’d have set the screaming baby in his lap. 
He sounds like a child. You didn’t ask him for a favor, you asked him to parent.
Hes totally playing fortnite and unless hes one of them over agressive gamers he should be able to manage both. Me and my s/o both play along with our 6 year old and his team should be able to cover for a simple task to help out. If not hes gaming with the wrong people 
.
BYE is all he’d hear or…
I’d shut the braker box off until he decided to act like a man.
Good luck with him. He won’t be around for much longer, cause video games trump daughter’s and all
He needs to grow up and get his priorities straight. Baby supercedes a video game without a doubt. Asking him to do something for his child is NOT a favor, It’s a responsibility. I would’ve handed him the crying baby for him to deal with while going to answer the door.
Yeah… I’d leave with the baby while he’s on the game. By the time he got up to check on you, he wouldn’t even have noticed you left. That should wake him up a bit.
A little late now, but you are the one who picked him
Man child. Get rid of it. It won’t change.
My hubs didn’t get very involved until the kids were mobile… and he too played games all the time and wasn’t very hands on when they were babies… do not be to upset…
Whew. Lordddddd.
What is he 18?
What you accept, becomes your future.
1
Grown ass man playing video games. Need any more be said?
Leave him, be on your own until you figure out what and who you really are & then set your standards HIGH and DONT EVER SETTL AGAIN.
Well just saying if he’s 40 minutes into the game already not much if left maybe 5 to 10 minutes. Let the man finish the game out. Baby will be fine.
Dude I would have packed my stiff pulled the plug on that game and walked out
I’m sure he showed the signs of being interested in the game way before you had a child😒 You women need to take heed to red flags instead of popping out kids then complaining. How long did you guys date?! Did he always choose the game over quality time with you and him?
Why the fuck didn’t he get his ass out to the store and get a pacifier in the first place? That’s the part were he fucked up! I play games to, but once you’re a father, your play time is over if your child needs you. It’s that simple. I’m sorry but this guy needs a serious reality check. Sounds like you’re raising 2 kids.
Just throw the whole man away. Youre wasting yours and your childs time.
It’s pretty scary how many women on here think this behavior is OK for a parent. I have this issue with my 9year old son, not my husband.
A crying baby is so relaxing 
put your foot down and keep it there. He can get on board or off the boat. His choice.
Real life is more important than a fake one in the game. If he wants to be more present for a fake life then for his own flesh and blood… you’ve got yourself a man child and a big problem.
I just love all the females defending this behavior and blaming the woman for “picking” this guy. Where is the blame for the guys behavior? He’s not being a parent but let’s blame mom 
Its only going to get worse …
Men are seriously always so selfish
Man if I tried to control when my husband played his game, he’d be pissed off too. Yes he needs to help with his child, but arguing over a binky is stupid. If you knew you were going to need his help during that moment, you should’ve told him beforehand because it sounds like you did the order and then when it showed up, expected him to stop doing what he was doing to do something for you. If he knew he was going to be needed and then still chose not to help, then yeah I get being mad. You would’ve had to do it if he wasn’t there anyway.
Sounds like you have an infant and unruly teenager not an infant and partner i wouldn’t tolerate it and would be outta there with the next stop being a custody attorney to help file for child support
Yea my brother is a gamer… he’s the sole reason I avoided dating anyone who gamed. It’s like a big man child and the games are their binky they just fuss until their attached again good luck girl my brother started young, we are both in our 30s but he found him a nice young lady who doesn’t want kids who games just like him lol
That’s a man child. Needs to learn his priorities for sure.
My husband is also a gamer. What we did is come up with a compermise on game times. Weve had a couple of hiccups since but for the most part we haven’t had many at all and its been 9 years.
If I need my husband to do something, and his game is about over. He’ll ask me to wait like 5 more minutes. If he just started he helps me, if our children need help.
It’s just a game, if he can’t stop what he’s doing to help you. I’d leave.
Looks like he prioritized a game over his actual living, breathing child. Play games when your kids are taken care of.
Sounds like call of duty…haha …my man and I play every night… it’s our thing…but after the kids are taken care of. . actually my older 3 often times hurry through their afternoon routine to play with us …haha but not to sound rude but most men are like huge babies …haha…I’m sorry your going through this but men are men …I often call my man another child… cuz it often feels like it …and I often tell him I’m not his momma…and he is grown …but it’s something small just express yourself nicely…if I tend to interrupt my man and him playing I give a heads up…like last night I forgot something for dinner ( actually we had it set it out and it got eaten before dinner haha) so went back out to get it and asked him to listen for the stove alarm for the garlic bread… I noticed the timer and made sure to call and he had already gotten them out…but I usually give a heads up I’m going to need ya help so be aware and not to into a game. Esp BR matches due to them being a 30/45 min game …it’s just a man and his toy…it’s the way my man relaxes when he gets off and it’s become OUR thing at the end of the night… instead of whining he don’t pay me attention I joined and kick butt in the game he finds it attractive and is interacting with me we esp at the fact Iv gotten to a level 150 in the few months we have done this…but we have had our moments where I go off and tell him we are in the real world …with real world shit that don’t respawn or restart…that it’s just a game and yea might throw a be a man in there which is why I said nicely earlier haha but express yourself but understanding most not all men also helps…I try and work around my man and his game time…but give a heads up if I’m going to need his attention verbally or physically during his play time…but once I started playing with him I seen and noticed the need to be better or do better…and the time consuming effect and also the relaxing fun part of it …I backed off alil bit when I noticed it’s his way of relaxing…but sometimes I got to point out it’s not time yet.
He is showing you all the red flags. Stop ignoring them.
He needs to step up or step out!! He is being lazy and needs to prioritize and grow up!
Again, but I do not ignore my kids they will always come first I don’t care if it just came out and it’s 40 minutes in and I’m not gonna just die, my kid is going to come first before the game. If someone can’t respect that and can’t handle their child first over a game they shouldn’t of ever had a child they should’ve use protection I thought about that shit before they decided to have a child. Well I understand some of the few points your phone especially from one of the games that are here, that was the point there he knows it’s a nighttime routine he didn’t care he started playing a game knowing when it would fall into the routine and still decided to play the game anyway. It takes two seconds to grab the baby’s pacifier and sterilize it he could’ve done it but instead he didn’t. But to sit there and accuse her of just relaxing while she’s upstairs trying to sooth baby who happens to be crying. Have that talk with him if that’s folk don’t work with him time to MoveOn. He’ll pay child support instead maybe and then you can find somebody who would actually put the child first over his game.
Uh nope! When I had my youngest my bf was into video games but as soon as he heard her cry or knew I needed something that controller was put down in seconds no questions asked
I play Fortnite. The matches don’t last 40 minutes I’m duos, tris or squads when you place first.
He has his own place…So he obviously scheduled this time with you to come over…He should have waited on the video games until the baby went to sleep.
Sounds like he needs a fast and hard reality check.
If he’s man enough to lay down & help create this baby, then he needs to grow the hell up & be a freakin “hands on Dad”
He needs to do whatever it takes to help you care for HIS baby! You shouldn’t have even had to DOORDASH for a paci. He should’ve offered to go get one. He should’ve been part of this bedtime routine-bath, pj’s, bottle, story time, etc. But yet he wants to whine that the baby has nothing to do with him… well I wonder why:bangbang:
Yes this kinda BS makes my blood boil!
It’s not so much the gaming but the “you’re not doing anything but relaxing” comment while you’re taking 100% care of your joint child I would be worried about. He clearly has no idea. Personally, I think he need more one on one time with her alone to take care of her and see how it really is.
I don’t know but I’m so thankful my husband grew up years ago & isn’t a lazy gamer. He does play fantasy football though, which is absolutely ridiculous!
first of all, since you were staying over at his place, why didn’t you just pick your daughter up & go home???, This man isn’t worth it, at all
I would have shit the power off and shoved him out the door
You have told him to step up with the child… give him what he wants… GAMES … kids are a life time commitment… the child will be okay and so will you !!! Good luck !!!
Maybe dont go over to his place anymore? Sounds like he doesnt really want to help with the baby or be involved much anyway. Acting like that after asked you over…
He sounds like he isn’t ready for fatherhood
Its time to put you and your baby first
And walk away as he is not going to grow up anytime soon
You have one child and one man child(that you didn’t sign up for)
Dude I have to come and take this person’s kid to school on friday because he took off work for a fucking video game event and then got told my fiance has no right to be upset because it’s none of his business. If he’s home the kid comes first.
So you have two kids?
My partner is also a gamer
We have spoken about it numerous times and normally it doesn’t bother me unless he’s on for long periods of time each day … sometimes it used to get to 5+ hrs and he wouldnt realise.
Although if I needed help with something he would pause when he could to help me.
But now that we have a baby, he’s definitely not online as much as he used to be… which is good … a few times a week - mainly on his days off he plays for as long as he wants, I don’t care as long as the washing etc has been done and Bub is fed and happy “if I’m doing other chores at the same time”… that way he can play and I can watch the shows I want to watch.
But it’s taken a lot of communication to get to this… that… and I told him I’d leave and take Bub if he wouldn’t prioritise us… and once I said that he realised he needed to sort himself out.
You know you can’t pause most online games right? So you knew he was gaming online with a team, you knew you fucked up, and now you’re mad he didn’t drop everything and come running to help. When you ordered the pacifier you knew it was going to show up while you were busy with bedtime and you knew you would need his help for a few minutes. Did you give him a heads up that you would need his help when the delivery arrived? If you knew he was busy you should have gave him a warning so he could get to a good stopping place and be ready to step away and help when the time comes. Is the baby even his? Your post reads like it’s your child together, but it doesn’t make sense to me that it’s actually his baby. 1. If y’all are together, and have a child together, why don’t yall live together? 2. If it’s his baby and y’all aren’t living together, because you didn’t want to break a lease or whatever, why doesn’t he have any baby stuff at his house? If y’all are back and forth between two houses it only makes sense to have general baby stuff at both houses. Diapers wipes binkies bottles food, ya know basic baby shit. Idk nothing about this post makes sense other than y’all was both rude to each other and there is a lot of gamer hate in the comments.
Nope that would have been me heading to my house immediately
You can’t make someone spend time with their kid I learned that the hard way
I would have left. He will continue what you allow.
Just start putting more responsibility on him. He doesn’t take the lead because he knows you’ll do it. Leave the house have other important commitments and let him realise he only has himself to rely on. Baby and him will figure it out it’ll take some time but he’ll become more confident and baby will become adjusted to the change.
Eww f that! I would FLIP if my husband tried that. Straight unplug the game idgaf 
But since you don’t live with him, you’re not married, leave his childish ass and find a man that will put down what he’s doing to tend to his child if needed. Don’t tolerate this behavior or it will continue. That’s ridiculous and I would be pissed.
What’s messed up is my husband plays, BUT he’ll tell his teammates he’s gotta hide so he can do something right quick & help me or the kids. He asks his teammates for coverage so I have no qualm about him playing. If my husband can do that, you childs father can too. Sounds like they play the exact same game!
At that point I would’ve unplugged the game system , not the tv. Go for the game system cord.
Should have walked down pulled the gaming cord out of the wall and said oops you are dead now. He is a child raising a child. Hopefully you can handle both.
Sounds like a man child. Don’t go back there and don’t let your child around him until he can pull his head out of his selfish ass and care for her
You should’ve found this out before making a baby with him
Video games are supposed to die out with maturity in my opinion. If he can’t take responsibility for his child, than it’s time to go. You’re going to be much better off. No sense in having to take care of an additional able bodied person.
BOYS and their video games, I would of been livid!
I don’t really see the problem with what happened. I do see a problem with how he talked to you after. Saying you’re just relaxing, screw that. So was he
As a male and father. That was BS. I am not perfect and I sure my significant other has stories like this about me. But yeah no… you had/have every right to be upset and express it…
Some people game as a part of their evening routine. It’s how they distress. I’m one of those people. I don’t see what the problem was that you couldn’t get it. It seems to me you’re threatened by the time he spends doing it and not necessarily that you needed real help. Confront that. Everyone is entitled to unwind the way they want.
It’s not going to get better hun. My husband spends all day everyday day on his damn game. He literally wakes up and gets on it until he goes to bed. My daughter is 8 and I’ll tell her to tell daddy what she wants to tell him. She says nope he never hears me. He’s too busy on his game. Or she can’t bug him he’s on his game.
I honestly regret ever buying him that damn Xbox.
This mofo gon die in real life if he doesn’t get up off his ass and get that shit! Tf is this guy thinking…
Clean his console for him in the sink. After all, you don’t have anything else to do. You could at least make sure his gaming system in nice and clean. 
As a wife of a big time gamer and a 7 month old baby, I’ll say it’s unacceptable. My husband would NEVER in a million years put his game before helping me even if that meant he would die in his game. I can’t tell you how many times our daughter has needed something and I haven’t had to even ask him to stop playing to help me, he just does it. I get him wanting to play and unwind after a busy day but your family- esp kids- come first. My husband helps me put the kids to bed and then that’s his time, I don’t interrupt his gaming at all once the kids are down for the night.
Not interested in being ‘Dad’
If I were in that situation, I would’ve yanked the game system out, smashed it right in front of him and throw it out the window, pack my shit and left
Girl hell nah I would’ve raised hell like so this how you do your own kid if I wasn’t around you need to grow tf up you are a grown ass man and you got a whole ass kid you better step it up and changing diapers feeding etc thats part of bonding so he better start helping out with all that stuff or that baby really wont like him as much as you
PubG is a game you can’t just up and leave in, he’s not wrong. Especially if he works, that’s his thing. Next time set baby beside him and run and get the pacifier. Then atleast he is obligated to peek and make her smile while you’re grabbing it? Understand now before things go further, relationships can’t be bothered by video games. Just lack of communication! 
