my daughters father enjoys playing video games. i don’t mind it, but when it comes to taking care of our daughter, she should come first.
anyway, he recently made me feel bad about asking him a favor. we stayed over his place and while i’m finishing our night time routine, he is playing the video game. i notice i forgot to bring a pacifier for the baby and i ordered a last minute door dash delivery to pick one up. the delivery arrives and i call him from upstairs to grab it at the door and sterilize it and bring it up. he tells me “after this game.” meanwhile, baby is crying for her pacifier. im not waiting 30mins with a crying baby while he waits for his team to all die…. so i grab the baby and walk downstairs and get it myself. i told him how i felt about what just happened and he says “well you’re not doing anything but relaxing, and this new map just came out, the circle is closing (in the game) and we already spent 40mins on this game. i can’t just die now” this bothered me… i told him he isn’t making money off of this game and that if the baby needs something, i would think he would help out.
he’s never really hands on and feels the baby doesn’t favor him. but i remind him over and over that he needs to be more present. he made me feel wrong about expressing how i felt. what are your thoughts on this situation
Don’t put up with that.
I would take the gaming console and set it on fire and leave if he keeps behaving like that.
Sounds like ya both need to grow up, don’t matter how old you are!!
I think you just haven’t realised yet that you’re a single parent…
This guy is a child and should have never been made a dad leave his ass and find a real man who wants kids
Fortnite im guessing? Cant just pause that game.
But anyway thats pretty stink of him. I would have just gone home and told him to visit you there. No gaming
There’s nothing wrong with playing games. However when it comes to family responsibilities no game is more important. It can be restarted. If he isn’t willing to change don’t expect it from him. So sorry 
Im guessing it’s fortnite 
my partners a gamer aswell.
I’d just do it myself, my partner works all day and that’s his down time. He also spends time with us aswell so I don’t really complain. Lol
I do get it, it’s frustrating. Your daughter did need her dummy but its a game that can’t be paused 
If you don’t like how he is at his house then stay at yours and tell him to see yous there 
My ex husband gamed all the time with two small babies when we were together. It was part of what ended our marriage . It can be an addiction. Video games are geared toward rewarding the player which reinforces and motivated them to continue. It’s called positive reinforcement. The more they play, the more they win things/games/ special powers etc, the more they want to play. It’s a vicious cycle and hard to get out of once sucked into it. It’s a learned behavior over time .I’m sorry I don’t know how to help you fix it, but wanted to explain how it can become an addiction. My son who is 14 sometimes says “after this game” and I put my foot down and say nope now. (Like for dinner, going out, he has chores etc), to make him realize that it’s not the end of the world if he doesn’t finish game, but I always try and give him a heads up with the expectation or time frame of how long he has to game. Unfortunately a grown man doesn’t have to follow these rules but I’m hoping to reshape my sons behavior so he doesn’t become like that too…
I’m sorry, this is such a hard thing to deal with. I hope someone has some suggestions for you
You can’t force someone to be hands on or help you, unfortunately. But my husband has always played and when our first came along we discussed no gaming until the baby was down for the night. He needs to adjust priorities or I wouldn’t be inconvenienced and stay at his house.
“We stayed over at his house”…
You’re single. He’s more interested in his video game. Move on.
Sounds like an immature teenager…ugh
Awwww, you have 2 babies.
Tell him to step up and be a good father what an ass I would kick him to the curb anyway I don’t like men
I mean sure you could do it yourself, but like if he’s doing shit like this all the time that means he’s immature. He should be perfectly capable of putting down the controller for fatherly duties at any time. I could understand if he was a super involved dad wanting a 40 minute him time out. That doesn’t seem to be the case though so 
.
Lmao…. Like I used to tell my ex… when you start getting paid for this we’ll talk … until then… do not make me go flip the breakers!
First off- you’re a single mother and don’t know it yet. You paid the door dash fee when he could have taken his slack ass to the store? And then he couldn’t be bothered to answer the door and didn’t even have to go get it?! And you’re staying over at his house? So you live elsewhere with the baby and he can’t be bothered for 30 seconds when he doesn’t even have the responsibility of a baby all the time? He says you were “just relaxing.” Wth did he think he was doing? Work? Contributing to society?
What a loser. I divorced my first husband because of similar incidents. It doesn’t get better. Let him build a life and a family with his online friends.
My husband does this occasionally but I’ve basically developed “the look” catered just to him. He knows I have 0 issues pressing the power button. Child > friends.
This has nothing to do with gaming. He needs to be more helpful, period.
Hes not going to change. And as a gamer and a parent he needs to learn how to put the controller down, even if you can’t pause the game. I’d walk away.
No excuse unless he was on the last level of SNES Mario
He’s a terrible parent and partner. Anyone that puts a gd video game over any human you should leave. Never let the children be alone with him. Awful and unacceptable.
Was he playing fortnite? I play that with my son. Yeah I do understand that when you are playing with other people you can’t just stop if your in the middle of a game. I mean you can but these people might get very annoyed and not understand or want to play with him anymore. I think if he’s playing a lot and not doing things with you guys that’s an issue. If he’s playing online in a match you can’t just pause that. Maybe since those are they types of games he plays tell him to play at specific times and at those times let him play unless an emergency comes up.
That dam call of duty🤣
You stayed at his place.
My advice is walk away asap.
Take care of yourself and your baby .
Ditch him
Time to grow up and put away the video games. He sounds like a real peach.
My 15 year old every time I try to get him to do anything. At least he has the courtesy to haul ass across the house if I tell him it can’t wait. Like 2.2 seconds and he’s back to his chair. Again, 15 years old…
You had a baby with a boy… he needs to get his priorities straight
Sounds like a Grown Man Child. Dealt with that before. Addicted to Gaming. Sorry. Child comes 1st before game if Mother needs help. I mean we just carried the baby for 9 months or however long the pregnancy lasted because some babies are early and some late and we literally just gave birth or had a c-section. He needs to be more helpful period and time to tell his buddies in the game that he’s a father and priority is you and baby. So honey. Next time that happens. Pretend to trip over the controller cord and make it unplug on purpose. Or if cordless but hooked up to wifi. Well, disconnect the internet/wifi without being caught. Or just directly hit the power button on game system. Anything to get his attention and make him know you’re serious. Yeah may not be able to pause live game or what not. But just suck it up, take the death, and take the loss. Many other levels or what not. Besides it is just a game. Kid is more important. Also, if it was his place. Do you have a place of your own since you said you stayed not living? Just pack up and go back to your place. You can’t change a Man Child unfortunately.
Oh no you had to walk to the door to get pacifier 
It seems ridiculous all around🤷♀️
Baby doesn’t favor him??? So he denies her??
Send that child back to his mother and find yourself a man.
Im a single mum and gamer, I literally just get up and walk away from the game/match/map whenever my children need me and i also try not to play during their waking hours.
That is 100% on him, Unplug the modem next time.
Feel a bit bad each time for the other players but thats MY fault for starting a match during a time my children could possibly need me sooo…
Depending on the game a lot of people are understanding if you explain your baby needed you so i dont know what hes worried about other than missing out on the game itself
Im a gamer mom and im sorry but i feel where hes coming from, but I do understand your frustrations too. There has to be a middle ground, maybe he can have a set time (from 4 to 6pm for example) where he games uninterrupted. But you have from 6pm to 8pm to do whatever you want uninterrupted.
Pick your battles. This isn’t one of them. Have this conversation with him at later time asking him to wait till the baby is asleep. But if you where home by yourself. You would just get up and go get the pacifier.
You chose a man child to have a baby with, sorry but either walk away or get used to it. He isn’t ever going to change 
Ooooo I would’ve taken the delivery, turned the plugs off and told him to grow up and get his priorities straight and then left with the baby. He’s not going to get better. You have a child ‘raising’ a child. He needs to step up or go
He’s been irresponsible and selfish all along and yet you still had a child with the guy…
Anyway. If he doesn’t wanna be involved, ditch him. He’s just dead weight and you don’t need two babies to take care of. 
I’ve said it before im gonna say it again that’s a BOY only boys play games, find yourself a man!
I was in your position.
Except the kids were a tad older. Them getting told to fuck off and go ask dad, was heart breaking, how are games more important than giving your kids a glass of water.
Nah that wouldnt fly. Id turn it off myself.
Not had a console since PlayStation 1… maybe a sega…… but can’t you just pause the game?! Or has that button disappeared ??
I hate first shooter gamers My fiance plays video games and so do I but we always take care of business first.
He needs to grow up and get his priorities right. If he wants to play his game I would do a schedule time for his game playing when his child yes!!! His Child doesn’t need his attention, but if during game no matter what ,if baby needs tending to then he needs to stop game and be a father.but if he continues to play game when baby needs him I would have to get rid of him,bc you don’t need a dead beat fater who doesn’t want to take responsibility for his on child… and I wonder what you mean that baby don’t look like him? Is there a reason to think that the child isn’t his?
F$_& that…you have one baby you don’t need another being the man child.his game will always be his first priority by sounds of it
If the baby doesn’t favor him its because he isn’t handling her enough. Stop going to his place. There’s no need if you’re just gonna do it yourself.
He’s a man child wow just show him these comments lol
How old did you say he was ?sounds like our 7 year old grandson except he pauses his game to help if asked. I’d say grow up or get out. The baby doesn’t favour him because he doesn’t put any effort in. Sounds like he’s still a child himself.
As a huge gamer, mother, live in girlfriend and business owner I say this… He needs to grow TF up, no excuses. I don’t care what people try to justify for this dude, it’s BS. Responsibility’s need to come first then play time once the big boy work is over.
I would love to sit on my ass all day and play games too but life doesn’t work that way. The game will be there when he has free time. He’s being a man child.
I was in the world and currently waited way to long to get out. Wishing I had gotten out when my only son was a baby. I know EXACTLY how you feel. Son “men” grow out of it… but some like yours sounds like they won’t. They will when it’s too late and you baby learns his love language and it’s not good. She will grow up with resentment because you will recent him. Trust me on this omg.
Playing games isn’t the issue. That instance isn’t even really the problem… He always does it is the issue.
What would you tell your daughter?
Do that.
I had similar one time. So i took all the batteries and left one single battery in the xbox remote as he went and had a smoko… I’ve also ripped the HDMI cable out of the TV and thrown it out on the street 
I find being savage gets his attention real quick lol
Yeah no……that a kid not a man.
I play Xbox games. I play when the kids are asleep at night or have a nap but, once they are awake. I am there.
Sounds like alot of people in here are not gamers me and my partner are gamers, its how we met but we both know to go on it either when my boy is at school or in the evening when his in bed, sit down with him and discuss when is appropriate, like not during nightime routine so he can help settle baby too, he shouldnt have to just completly stop doing something he loves just because his had a child but learn to only go on it at certain times
do not take this wrong but i do not understand why women stay with a poor excuse of a man you and the baby do no come first or even at all there are men out there find one
I’d smash the console lmfao
fuck his game 
Edit - I play games too, but would never put one above the needs of my children. Being a “gamer” is a cop out, he’s a father first.
Oh jeez grow up both of you
My boyfriend plays. I don’t have see the problem with mine playing if our toddler needs something during his game he tells his team and stops and does what she needs or wants. I work 3rd shift so it’s usually during my nap time. (He works during the day a full time and part time job) if she really wants to watch something on the TV she will ask and he usually gets off and let’s her do it. I mean he plays games on the weekends with my two oldest kids when they are on our time. (Our toddler likes to watch him play COD and few others he plays. So does my 10yr old if she isn’t playing) tell him he needs to buck up and put kid(s) first.
I don’t mean to imply any situation is the same as another…
But man oh man… lived that story. 13 yrs… same thing…less self-aware of even making others wait…
I would (if I could go back)
Make some very concentrated efforts to discover his willingness to work as a team (actions not dreams) and decide -truly- I this will kill a part of me to live with (if there is no change in sight…) just keeping it real-real… 
Just remember we all have flaws and other people can love and respect our best qualities…while not living full time with our habits…
Oh and …
We change for ourselves.
You must 1st have some notivation…he may love baby and you…but priorities are big. That’s also some advice I didn’t have any1 around to explain. How he says you weren’t busy… um, being yelled at in another language counts as busy lol…but really. Read your post as if it was someone random online.
I honestly think, why couldn’t you get the door?? I mean I know games are as problem but pick your battles! Just discuss this with him. And don’t sweat the small stuff! Why didn’t you get the door? I realize this might be a huge issue in your life but really just getting the door is not a big deal and if your baby is crying that hard for an nuki than the issue is not him playing games! It’s just a culmination of whatever else is going on… address those issues
omg tell me he plays fortnite without telling me he plays fortnite.
I’m sorry……I’m 38 now, with a 15 year old bio daughter and bonus son, 17, bonus daughter, 13. I’m probably “old school” but I just really don’t get this generation. Like are you seriously worried about pissing off a man-child, that feels like a game is more important than his child? Am I supposed to side with someone who door dashes a fucking pacifier??? I mean, both of you seem extremely immature, probably should not have kids, but you do. And I’ll tell you more than likely, he won’t change. Get out while you’re still young and while the baby won’t suffer too much.
Well obviously the game was Fortnite ( that’s the circle closing) and he was playing squads meaning he cannot give up on his squad now after 40 min !! That’s how a gamer kid thinks and that’s Ur husband !! Tell him in all seriousness that he needs to get his priorities straight !
Change the WiFi password to “Help Take Care Of Your Child Fucker” and then if that doesn’t work…I’d smash the game system with a baseball bat and tell him “There, now we’re BOTH upset”
Went through the same thing with my ex. It’s just easier to do it yourself than to rely on the father.
This is why kids shouldn’t have babies 
You picked a teenager to have a child with
Sounds like my man got it pretty easy😄 no advice we both game over here and make a great team.
Those saying “unplug it” or "id destroy…"yall single huh? Destruction of property.
OP yall both need to grow tf up.
Princess can cry a bit and you can go get the pacifier.
You knew how he was beforehand and still reproduced with him. Maybe he isnt hands on cause ,i dunno, he dont live with her?
Riddle me this: Was he into games like this when you met him? If so, you were obviously okay with it because he didn’t become this obsessed over night. You even said you don’t mind. 
Now what you should’ve done is packed your baby up and went home. Gaming is OBVIOUSLY more important then the baby so why are you staying around dealing with this bull:poop:?
If you aren’t happy AND he isn’t helping with the baby then move the hell on. I would not keep trying to force him to be a dad. Take his a** to child support and be done. Maybe one day he will grow the hell up and realize that gaming should NOT be as important as raising your child.
Got yourself an apex legends player, huh? Yeah me too. The ol man and all three of our kids love that game
She favors you because he doesn’t engage with her.
Throw the whole man away
He’s a boy, not a man…
Get rid of the man child, and get yourself a man x
Not taking up for him at all…… but why did you need him to go get it ?
Honestly this all seems immature. If there’s a bigger issue then deal with the bigger issue, but you having to walk to the door to get a pacifier is not a big deal. If he is never interacting with his child and you are doing everything then thats a different story. Focus on that not one little instance. But say roles were reversed. Maybe you just painted your toe and finger nails and they’re wet or something else you may enjoy that you can’t just interrupt, and he’s holding the baby and asks you to stop what you’re doing to go to the door and get a pacifier. Your first thought would probably be, why can’t he just grab it really quick?
Now I’m not saying he shouldn’t take care of his kid, but this one little instance is not a huge deal. My husband and I both play these games and if he’s in the middle of a game and the kids need something I do it and vice versa. Gamers have gotten this stereotype as bad parents and lazy because our hobby puts us in front of a TV instead of outdoors. But there are the gamers who work and come home and game and relax while making time for family, and gamers who never work and play their game 24/7, ignoring their responsibilities. If he’s the first one, talk to him. For a set time period while he’s playing, you do what needs to be done with your child unless you absolutely need his help. He does the same for you when you get to do something just for you.
If he’s the second then tell him to change or you’re leaving him because thats unhealthy.
It sounds like you had a baby with an irresponsible man child… with all due respect, good luck!
My advice…the sooner you accept that’s how he is the sooner you’ll just do what you gotta do & not be annoyed by it. He won’t change…enjoy motherhood.
Soooooo, you have two babies………?
Being a father isn’t a like his game. He can’t pick it up and okay along whenever he feels like it. It’s a all day all night everyday thing. That’s what being a parent is. If he puts his game first before his own kids then he has some learning and growing up to do.
Pack up and go back home! Accept the fact that you are a single parent.
Step back a little. If he notices and comes to try and fix things good. If not at least you’re not putting all of your energy into “fixing” him and you’re focusing on your baby.
He’s not gonna change promise you. Get used to it or leave
Erica you are perfectly right
My thoughts are that he’s kind of a loser
I’ve been there done that… It’s a big part of why I got divorced. His game always came first and the money he spent on it was outrageous… I didn’t mind he had a hobby he loved but he took it to the extreme… he even took his xbox on family vacations and tried to take it with us when we celebrated our anniversary across the country!!! It can become an addiction. I would talk to him about it and if he wasn’t willing to compromise and put your child first then I would be thinking about the future… It can turn out like mine… My teenage son is currently going through the same thing, all that is important to him is his game, he seen his dad put the game first so in his mind it became ok to make it his main priority. My advice more than anything is tell him how you feel and go from there…
So, were mad that he is playing a game? It’s literally a pacifier. Pick your battles ma’am. And for all of you saying this is a “man child” because he enjoys something other than what you find acceptable, please kindly find yourselves the first trash can to nose dive in. If you were in the middle of something you enjoyed you would want him to respect that and take the 30 seconds to get the stupid pacifier from the door. I’m sure your baby has cried longer before and will again. And trust me, they WILL eventually have more pressing issues than having to wait for a pacifier
He should’ve been at the store buying the paci then helping you!
I’m going to say this one more time… choose your kids fathers more wisely . Period
Girl they never get off the game or help. I wish they did but anyways goodluck
I would have rammed his bloody controller where the sun doesn’t shine!!!
Seriously!!
I was married to this. We are no longer married…
My husband plays the occasional game but if I yell I need something for the kids he pops up and gets it asap! If he’s not listening pour a cup of water in the gaming system when he’s not home. He doesn’t deserve it.
Next time put the screaming baby in his lap while he’s playing.
I bet that will end his game pretty damn quick. Lol
Don’t put up with that! Leave. If he’s not willing to put his own child first, then he will always remain selfish. You and your baby deserve better!
Throw his game in the bath tub. Your kids come first!
At the end of the day, he could of always started a new game, you can’t restart real life. 
See the Red 
and run