Dilemma: married for four years. Moved into husband’s house and rented mine. I was very clear that I did not want to stay in his house. That we would need to get something else. He doesn’t take care of it. The floors are rotting away. The siding and roof need to be fixed…. The list goes on. The plan was to each saves money to pay cash for another house. For four years, I’ve worked endless hours and put money back for this. He, on the other hand, has spent all of his extra money on boats, razors, and casinos. He has no money put back for a house, and I can’t live in this one much longer. I ended up selling my house to make up what I need to get a nicer house. I do not want to put his name on my new house. He did nothing g to earn it, and if something was to happen to me first, I would want it to go into my children’s estate. FYI. There is a prenup! Do you think this is selfish of me
I wouldn’t say it’s selfish but, it’s definitely not a marriage I would want to stay in, personally. Depending on what state you live in though, he may still be entitled to the house depending on what’s in your prenup.
Ah hell no. You’ve done good for yourself. You now need you reevaluate your marriage. If he is so selfish to spend monies he is supposed to be saving and you busy your ass. It’s yours… Be sure it’s documented appropriately in case of divorce, death, anything like that.
No I don’t think ur wrong. Why should he live in something he put effort in if something should happen to u. Let him go back 2 his run down house if it come to it
Just buy it under your children’s names and have it in the contract you get to reside in the residents until your death.
Your question brings up numerous complex legal dilemmas that vary from state to state. I would not risk asking Facebook. Please seek the advice of attorney right away.
Why is this guy still your boyfriend is the bigger question.
I’m very surprised at how many people are actually responding in the manner they are. I totally agree it’s not selfish, but it’s almost a bit late. I could definitely be wrong, but would be very surprised if you could buy a house (or any asset) that easily during marriage and it not be potentially community property. There’s obviously bigger issues here than housing that need to be dealt with.
I’m living in a pretty crappy house myself because I have not been able to purchase a new home at this time due to my current “marital status” being somewhat “complicated.”
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I selfish for not wanting my husbands name on my new house?
Nope not selfish, he should have worked as hard as you to earn it honestly. And i don’t see nothing wrong with wanting it to go to your children if you’re the one who worked for it.
Sounds like you shouldn’t be married to him anymore.
So when my husband and I bought our home, my name wasn’t on the loan, but because we were married, it HAD to go on the deed.
Not selfish at all imo
Nope, Not selfish at all!!
No! Protect what you worked for!
The fact that you even asked this question tells me that you already know it’s selfish He’s your HUSBAND…not your boyfriend smh
Not selfish at all! Seems like ur being an adult and he’s being an adult child, not handling his responsibilities!
Nope not at all If he didn’t contribute
He doesn’t sound like the best fit partner. If he didn’t take care of his house what makes you think he’ll help take care of this one you both will have together? And you both have different ways of handling money, if he is not smart with his money then that’s just another problem that will come up later on down the road.
Not selfish at all, take care of what you have earned, by your self, it’s yours!
I would ask a lawyer about it. Because in some states, hed still have rights to equity. To be honest, I’d be more apt to look at the fact that while you’re working your butt off, hes in a boat or a casino
Definitely not selfish. It sounds like u had an agreement and he has chosen to not prioritise what u have both agreed. Tbh if it was me I’d be questioning why it wasn’t a priority …
bc your married whatever yawll buy while married if yawll get a divorce it will be his too . name on deed or not
Not selfish but I do think in the eyes of the law it will be considered joint property since it was purchased during the marriage
I don’t understand how you’re still with him. Finances are something that you should both be agreeing on, and it seems that you don’t agree on anything. A house is a huge deal, so you really want to share a house with a man who doesn’t even bother maintaining it?
Nope. Gotta work as a team, he did not.
Definitely not… At all.
No … if he is able , and did not contribute to the financial aspects of purchasing the home … YOUR NAME ONLY !
No you’re not, I would’ve done the same
Your money and your kids future
Your partner is the one who sounds selfish, mad cause he didn’t work for anything but thinks he should reap the benefits of your hard work??! No!
No! Not the least bit selfish. If more woman had this type of mind set, there wouldn’t be so many woman that get left with NOTHING after divorce. Stop letting these men take what you’ve worked for ladies!!
Nah. Besides you know he doesnt take care of anything or fix it already so enjoy maintaining your new larger house all by yourself
Nope. Sounds like you should boot his ass out.
Move to new house on your own leave him in squaller
Not at all you look out for you and your family because he isnt
Nope. Do you!! Very smart.
Absolutely not to be honest I think it’s a good idea not to put his name on it sense he didn’t put anything into it and us as women need to learn we can do anything on our own!!! You go girl
Nope but since you are married I think his name would automatically be put on the house too
Not selfish at all🤷🏽♀️
I thought with a prenuptial it was whatever you had before the marriage you kept. So if you bought a house while married it became both yours and you could still loose it in a divorce
Not selfish. I’d do the same. He’s shown his lack of ability to be financially responsible. Good for you!
U must think of urself first. Trust ur gut!!
Why you even still with him if that’s the case
Nope, I think this is very reasonable x
Nope and I would divorce him too
I think you should leave him in the property he’s in and just buy yourself a new one he doesn’t seem responsible in anything not financially not even maintaining the home he’s already got so no your not selfish but if it was me then I would be buying it for me alone who knows what sort of state it will end up in if he moves in with you he seems lazy in my opinion xxx
My thought is if he did not take care of his house why do you think he will help and take care of this one? I would not let him on the deed to the house and I would probably get a lawyer involved with some kind of paper work for this to be your house and to go to your kids if anything happens.
I am in this rut but not the condition rise of housing but him not saving and I am also not married and the house will be going in my name and my name only.
Not selfish just sensible
Go with your gut girl. Keep it only unto you as the bible would probably say. Protect YOUR future interests. I did that “inclusion” crap with hubby. 8 years later he decided drinking was more fun than working and I lost a brand new 4.5 bedroom home, 2200 sq. ft. It was beautiful. It was PAID FOR. A lottery win. He figured it was paid for then wanted to borrow money against it to buy a boat, trailer, motorcycle…which was sold within a year due to his lack of working. Now…i am living in a mobile home that belonged to my dad. In its day it was so cute. But, floors falling in, plumbing needs redone, mold under kitchen and bathroom tub…and hubby sits on his arse.
I should have listened to my family …MOM DON"T DO IT!
I’m telling you girl, DO NOT DO IT. You are the only one that is going to protect your future in front of you.
sounds like they dont really love eachother tbh
I dont think it’s selfish at all!
Sounds like there are multiple conversations that need to be had
Not selfish, AT ALL. As a matter of fact, let him stay in his house.
Nope your absolutely right to keep it in your name. I would if i were you
Nope. You live in your new house that you worked hard for and let him stay in his house.
Absolutely not selfish at all!!
Nope. My home is only in my name for the fact that if I were to die, it then rolls over to my YOUNGEST child’s name. My kids will always have a home no matter if I am alive or dead.
No. Not at all it’s actually pretty smart not to put his name on it from the sounds of things. Don’t ever second guess your gut.
Nope not at all I would have done the same thing
I would probably do the same, if he wanted to be with you then he would have pulled his finger out and helped towards a new place with you. Sounds to me he has other ideas, so for that I would let him live in his own mess and you move to a nicer house with your name on it
Nope your instincts are right! You just need to leave and buy a new place ! You’ll be happier!
Not selfish at all!!!
No your not selfish, if it was bought and paid for before your marriage it should go to your kids if that is what you want…if you have paid anything on the house after marriage it is now your husbands too…I’d go get the papers drawn up now and make it legal for the kids to get it…
This doesn’t sound like a marriage. And it doesn’t sound like you expect it to last. So, don’t do it.
you should get rid of him.
So my cousin is going through this right now. If you dont put his name on the house make sure he signs a quit claim deed. And any money that gets put into the hpuse has to come from a bank account that is in only your name and only your funds. She had her house before she got married and had him sign the qjit claim deed bit they had a jlimt bank account. Now hes entitled to half of the equity while they were married. So sucks. He didnt even have a job
Simply put…no. Buy your house and put it in trust for your children so they dont have to go through inheritance hassles. Check your local real estate laws to see if this allowed as some states have common property laws when you are married. Oh, and by the way, I’d let the husband just stay in his broken down house and move on. I’m sure you would be fine.
Put in a trustworthy family members name.
Heck No it’s not selfish!!! Sounds like he did not contribute, why should he be entitled to any of it if something should happen?! I personally wouldn’t even stay in a relationship where the other (adult)person does not contribute (unless ill) the household. Good luck to you.
Nope i wouldnt either apparently its not important to him
It’s not selfish, you are smart in feeling that way.
Nope! I’ll be damned if I’m gonna work for something ALONE and then give a mofo credit for it.
I dont think its selfish. You made the mo ey you earned it.
Your smart for not wanting his name on there. It’s your last, you earned it
Nope you’re protecting YOUR investment. Its selfish of him to even have a problem with this if he didnt help support the move.
Honestly that’s a red flag to me, a big one. You either contribute and grow with me or you can stay in the same place by yourself while I move on. I made this mistake for 10yrs…he needs to grow up.
Nope he didnt cardy no bricks to make a home so
Nope. Not selfish.
In a community property state, he’ll still be entitled to the house if something were to happen to you.
Our house is in my husband’s name only but I still had to sign paperwork since we live in a community property state.
Double check your state laws to make sure he won’t be able to make a claim for your house
Dump him and buy the house. Even though there’s a prenup it only covers what u already had. It won’t cover the new house. You would have to have new paper signed. Anything bought after marriage is considered marriage property. Even though he didn’t contribute he can still fight for it. Consult a lawyer before buying.
If you didn’t feel bad having a prenup why would you feel bad about not putting his name on the house…? He sounds like a selfish loser.
No not at All… take care of you and your loved ones… he obviously only cares about himself.
I have experienced something similar and have learned a valuable lesson. Mine is all about himself too!
Some states spouse is automatically entitled. Had a friend whose dad died & left his house to her. Her step mom took her to court & got the house. Mainly because her name was not on deed. And spouse automatically intitled
You should definitely get advice from a good lawyer before you buy that house! There are so many loopholes in the laws, even with a prenup!
I don’t know what state you live in, but here is texas is a rule to have him on the title unless you are legally separated or divorcing.
Not at all! Don’t put his name on it!!
I’d consult an attorney about it. Here in Ohio, anything bought during a marriage is 50/50 regardless of whose name is on it.
Put only in your name
No not selfish but would talk to an attorney!
Don’t upgrade go vacation travel enjoy u money. Atleast he have his home stick with yours as it is kids will grow up and find their ways. Or invest into apartment to bring in income so u work less or easier.
Nope and it’s why I divorced my husband… he would pay off a bill and then go out and buy snowmobiles, or whatever so I came debt free into his debt and he bought a home without me and expected me to move … just too many things going on that I didn’t agree with … we are great friends … just didn’t want the connection to his debt… it would be mine and I didn’t want it
Not selfish if he doesn’t take care of his house and didn’t help save the money for it!
he bhas not heloed you so no
No move into YOUR new house and leave him in his.
No not selffish at all. Why should he be able to call the house YOU have worked for his? He clearly has made no efort to contribute… f it was a joint effort… then i might say that it is selffish… but no… you worked for it… your name goes on it. Xx
How much can razors cost? Someone teach this man to coupon Bailey Templeton !
I would say, just leave him with his house and toys. You seem pretty unhappy, why not just cut ties and leave it at that? You are clearly an independent, and disciplined lady who can take care of herself and kids. Find someone who is worthy of you. You’re just going to end up disappointed. I know, because I went through that too.
Just because it’s only in your name doesn’t mean you would be able to keep it if a divorce would happen. There’s a great chance you would have to refinance and give him the profit if you decide to keep the house. Or sell the house and split the profit (regardless if it’s in just your name). Honestly I would see if you could put it in a trust because they can’t be broken. Somebody can fight a Will
No. Put your name only and also get a new husband you have a gambling child from the sounds of it
Absolutely not!Why should you have to put his name on the new house? YOU WORKED HARDto save for a new house while he spent money on other things rather than saving to help buy the new house.
Nope! Put that house in YOUR name only!