Am I sheltering my daughters?

At what age did you start allowing your child to watch sexual scenes in movies? Not fully blown sex but things like bare breast, descriptive language, or implied sexual behavior. I have sheltered my kids a lot, and I have friends who allow their kids to watch whatever, even as a kid, I was allowed to watch whatever. I’m not sure if I’m too closed minded or sheltering them too much. my daughters are 11 and 9.

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I don’t think your sheltering them. I think they are just reaching/approaching the okay age. My daughter is almost 9 and I have let her watch limited adultish scenes . Mostly her exposure has been adult references and or jokes that go over her head

I dont think you are sheltering them. I dod the same with my girls, but my middle one was much more curious about things than her younger sister and she loved to share her findings🤣 so the young one heard and saw some things a little early for her.

I don’t restrict sex scenes unless it’s especially graphic. My mom made me incredibly uncomfortable Bc of how awkward she was about sex etc. I want my son to be comfortable with it. Violence, on the other hand, I restrict.

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You are not sheltering them. Thank God parents still try to protect their kids from this stuff

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No 11 or 9 year old need to see nudity or sexual scenes at all

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I’d say you’re asking this question at the perfect time, knowing that the time is coming. Trust your intuition honey :slight_smile: youre doing fiiiiine

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9 is too young that’s my sons age

The age of puberty is the age I would start to teach them stuff as safe sex but other than that there way to young

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Hard times because most shows and movies have sex scenes

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And if sex scans no but the know bad language

Age 13 & in 8th grade was when we had sex ed where I live. I had a period only talk when I was 9 & I started at 12. My mom never had a sex conversation with me. I learned from booms that I read (I was not censored on that either). You are not sheltering your kids.

Shit my oldest son is 13yrs old and is now allowed to watch movies with women in their underwear and bras. Some naked scenes he watches. It’s all up to the parent each and everyone of us is different and parents different. Me personally it would depend on how mature the 11yr old is?
With 9yr old my opinion she is still to young an will learn about that stuff soon enough.

I’ve never been one to sensor what I watch in front of my kids unless it is a scary movie (I have a younger child still). My now 7 year old has been obsessed with scary movies since he was almost 6. We have movie marathons of Jason, Halloween, chucky, etc frequently. I think it depends on the kid and their maturity level if they can handle it or not :woman_shrugging:. Sex is a part of life, boobs and ‘sex scenes’ are just body parts regardless. That’s just my opinion, everyone parents differently though

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The Canadian TV rating guide says that content like that should be left until they’re 17-18 years old (R-M).

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my younger girls i watch what they watch with them as well with the sex scenes nudity.the langage on other hand cant do to much about that because they also hear that as they walk out the door around other kids and adults. they hear it a t school when was in i even hear at out of other kids at school. i work in a school thats how i know.

try it and talk to them and see how they feel about it. my daughter is 9 she gets that when the heavy kissing is happening she’ll cover her eyes or leave the room but she also understand that they are probably going to have sex and is uncomfortable with it but it gives us opportunity to tall about consent amd non consent. its an excellent teaching opportunity kids are getting younger and younger with the questions and talking about it in school with friends

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I am of the opinion that the more you draw attention to things like this, the more of a big deal they think it is. I’m more of the European frame of mind. Children grow up seeing things like naked breasts on the beach, by the pool, on the TV, etc. they understand it is natural, and have no incentive to look. If no longer has its appeal. If naked breasts came on the television, I wouldn’t turn the channel. I would ignore it like it’s no big deal.

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Tbh I would say that it’s when u feel they are ready , I think kids grow up to fast now a days and if we can keep them at the age appropriate stuff for as long as possible then that’s what I would do personally but everyone has there own opinion and how they would deal with this sort of stuff and that’s up to them

I think suggested behaviour is OK by Y7. Films like Grease have quite a bit in. Bared breasts would’ve made a film a 15 before 12s came in. I use IMDB as a guideline as it has an advice from parents section so you can make your own judgments. A 12A might be okay to watch if it’s because of swearing or mild violence for example. If it is proved you are showing movies to your kids who are underage, you can get into trouble although I doubt they’d chase after you for showing your kids 12s!

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Hm.They’re at the age where you should’ve already talked to them about sex, so they should already know what to expect from scenes like that. You ARE sheltering them; but that’s expected since introducing new things like this are hard. Try sex-positivity. It’s healthy for children to feel positive about sex. They’re less likely to become teen parents/have an unhealthy sex life in the future if you’re sex-positive. :smiley:

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I don’t exactly see a problem with it and I don’t care that people do i guess it depends on what scene and what movie :thinking:

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So I argue this with my friends they let there say 12 year old watch saw movies and graphic gore…I find that so aweful murder and stuff like that is not natural…sex is natural for pleasure and to make babies and my friends will let there young kids watch people get arms and legs chopped off but not a sex scene ugh…it realy depends on maturity not age so much but I dont think its ever too early to teach kids about sex in age appropriate ways u know? Maybe dont pull out porn?? haha but ratings are pretty fair on movies say pg13 is ok for kids 13? So maybe thats a good age only you know your kids

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I wouldn’t allow mine to watch things like that at that age. That’s not sheltering. It’s parenting. They’re kids at that age. Knowing and watching are not the same.

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In my opinion 11 and 9 is too young. I say about 13 or 14 is when I would be ok with them seeing “light” sex scenes… as far as swear words that may be harder to keep away from them. Basically every movie has swear words so that’s inevitable, just make sure they know they are adult only words and they are not allowed to say them!

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I think it’s less about the age and more about the maturity.

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Keep your children a kid as long as possible but teach them the dangers of the world… personally me that’s way yo young.

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I think it’s still appropriate to shelter then from sexual content. They’re only 9 and 11, they don’t need to know anything about sexuality at this point in time :sparkling_heart:

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My daughter is 15 and we don’t watch those types of movies.

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I have a 12 and 9 year old. I tell them to close their eyes when they stuff comes on lol probably until at least 14/15. Trust me they’ll know enough by then

My son has never been sheltered. By age 6-7 his favorite shows were Chicago PD, Chicago fire, criminal minds, and NCIS. :woman_shrugging:

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Way to young! Maybe 16 or 17.

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I think they are to young for all of that. They should still be watching Nickelodeon and Disney plus.

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Uhhhh no. You are right. They do not need to be watching stuff like that. It’s rated R for a reason…

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My daughter is 10 and knows what it is. We were watching Hotel Transylvania and there is a scene when Dracula is trying to get rid of a human guy before all the monsters find out. Well, while trying to find the secret exit, they come across two fleas on their honeymoon. She asked me if they were doing if she thinks what they are doing. I told her yes.

I will say that when my dad fast forwarded through the sex scene in terminator when we were little that was the focus part of the movie for my little brother. Don’t draw attention of it. With breastfeeding in public and nudity everywhere you may be making it worse

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It comes down to what you’re comfortable with. All parents control the media their kids consume to some extent, they’re not going to be hurt by not getting to see more mature content. When they get old enough they can choose to go see PG-13 or R rated material if they want to :woman_shrugging:

My parents never did with me and I turned out just fine. I’m sure I’ll be the same with my daughter too. 11 and 9 is too young in my opinion, but it’s honestly really up to you. For me, she can watch what she wants when she’s 18 and an adult
For nudity… I have no idea when I’ll be ok with her watching them make sex jokes or something. Depends on the jokes I guess.

I think you know the maturity of your children. I think it has more to do with that. I was never given a limit as to what I wasn’t allowed to watch as a kid and it didn’t have a negative impact on me at all. It didn’t make me a heathen nor did it make me grow up any faster than other kids. Personally, we don’t draw too much attention to things like that or make it a big deal. We watch horror/gore, true crime, anime, some things that are sexually suggestive, etc. Our daughter isn’t afraid of it and she just blows past it like it’s nothing. Ultimately, you know your children better than anyone and if you think they aren’t ready for things like that then so be it.

Like my favorite childhood movies were Drop Dead Fred, Queen of the Damned, and Titanic.

That’s still pretty young in my opnion but if u want a age rang 14 ish maybe 15

My kids are five eight and twelve…they been watching SOA and similar for years🤷🏼‍♀️

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My step sisters were like that, and I was the kid who could watch pretty much whatever. They were always so excited to watch something more the pg rating where I didn’t see what the big deal was. If you make it a thing it’s going to be a thing. But you’re their parent, so whatever style you see fitting to raise your kids is your choice…

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Do what you feel
Is best for your kids, you know what is best, trust your intuition. As for my upbringing, my mom thought nothing of watching An Officer and a Gentleman when I was younger than 10 years old & I’m relatively normal :joy::joy:

When you do let them see things have a conversation and don’t be shy about it. Explain why we stay covered and respect bodies of ourselves and others. It’s not bad to be protective about what our kids watch but I do think it’s important not to shy away from conversations

My 2 cents; my parents made me cover my eyes at everything until at least 15 and as a 25 year old grown woman I still cover up Bc for some reason I still get uncomfortable…

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Personally I think that’s still pretty young but my daughter is still only 2. When I think about how I’m going to manage this topic as she gets older I’ll likely limit her exposure to media portrayal of sexuality because a lot of it is unrealistic. But keep lines of communication on the topic open

Nudity is nudity. My daughter doesn’t even begin to question it. Like I wander through the house in various stages of undress. She’s more likely to question if I put on a bra and pants. That’s when she asks what’s up.

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I wouldn’t till like 14 or 15. Depends on their maturity level. If they see sex on tv I think it makes them more curious.

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I think it’s a matter of personal preference on the parents part. If you arent comfortable with your girls seeing those things yet then dont allow it. But also, they both are getting pretty close to puberty and one is pushing pre teen so even if its once in awhile, them seeing it and being able to ask questions about it if there is any wouldnt hurt

:woman_shrugging:t3: it depends…naked people on tv, I’ve never censored. It’s a human body, it’s natural, it is what it is. Sex scenes, I avoid as much as I can, but if it happens to be in a movie, I just ignore it or turn the attention to something else. Our kids are 10,9 & 8. They’re extremely mature though and being farm kids, they already know what sex is and such. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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It’s different for each child, they’re different people. My niece watched it my daughter can’t. She’s 11 and has stated she’s not ready to see that stuff, she gets grossed out by cartoon characters kissing :woman_shrugging:t2:

It’s a personal choice. It only becomes an issue for them if you make it awkward, taboo, etc.

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My plan if everything works out, is to wait until the birds and the bees convo comes up.

Sex and bodies are natural. I’d allow anything rated PG, maybe milder R, but I don’t like normalizing violence. Americans are so uptight about their bodies and consensual sex, perhaps because of religion, but it makes people more curious and uptight to restrict it.

In Europe whole families sit in the sauna naked, in Japan they sit in the hot tub. But definitely not “50 Shades of Gray” for the kids. (I thought it was a stupid movie anyway).

Gore, violence, cruelty and torture however I find very disturbing.

Um that’s way too young. Seeing naked people or body parts they should be way older. My sisters and I were sheltered from that but my husband and his brothers could watch whatever they wanted like whenever :grimacing:, but even now at 25 I don’t like watching movies with a bunch of naked people or sex scenes. I don’t get the point of it having to be in a movie lol :rofl::woman_shrugging:t2:

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I let my daughter watch a little but not not full blown sex. She’s 13. But you know she knows alot already, not from me but from school and friends and hearing things on the school bus. So you wont be able to shelter them for long if you are. If you want you can be one step ahead. And jump on it now. And there is also family life that the kids take at school starting around 6th grade I believe. I don’t believe they are completely clueless. Sometimes you want to do it on your own time at the age you think is appropriate. But this world today and kids. If other kids no about it. They will talk and other kids will hear.

Not yet, that’s too young, my mum wouldn’t let me watch people kissing on tv, I had to go “wash my hands” she would say :joy::joy: but even now bare boobs or anything slightly sexual I feel uncomfortable and fast forward, I’m very prude though, I’m even surprised I have kids :see_no_evil:

I shelter my daughter and she is 18 and just started watching it. She is a straight A student in college and works full time.

I hate to say this but you can shelter your kids and as much as you want. But don’t be naive. Your kids are learning more in school around kids there own age than most parents think. Some may know more than there parents do. Sorry to burst a lot of those bubbles out there.

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When I was raising my children years ago it was unheard of. When they turned 18 & only then they could do pretty much what they wanted with my advice . Watching nude of any kind let alone sex, not in the family home!

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Don’t my oldest son is 24 and I still don’t allow it. And my kids can’t date until they’re married

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Always remember, you will answer to Almighty God what you taught children. Letting them watch is the same as saying “this is acceptable”…We are told to be careful what we hear and see…You are doing your job as a parent to guard your children. Carry on!!!

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Great topic, as I wonder this as they grow. I am more concerned about wierd content on utube than a movie which I pause if they enter during any questionable part.
I give loose guidelines that I’m randomly making up such as if there is utube cussing more than 3 x in 10 minutes, change it, no violent content if they are not peaceful in our home that day.
Nudity is so vast in type. The human body is a good thing so they need not be shamed, but what action is happening? No need to see beyond the kissing really for kids not yet teens. And it’s fun to be an annoying commentator to let them know when something is gross or inappropriate. At this age, they would rather change it, lol, than hear my opinion, but I’ll follow for more advice.

Uh, definitely not at that age. I mean I’m so far from a sheltering mom but I’m not watching a scene like that with my young child

In my opinion, you’re doing the right thing in a world that is conditioning our children to be prematurely and overly-sexualized. The lines of what is acceptable have been crossed so far, I’m in awe of some of the stuff that’s on for adults. We wonder why the world is so messed up morally and so few people have healthy relationships.

Like you, I was exposed to way too much as a child in media and regret it due to the lasting impact on my perception of relationships and expectations of people and for myself. Your children are being taught, whether explicitly or subliminally, what is acceptable every time they are exposed to media. A lot of this crap we see every day - social media ads, television, etc - is harmful for adults, much less kids. Please keep doing what you’re doing. Just because “everyone else” is doing it doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.

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Age guidelines are there for a reason. ie PG13. I would wait.

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When I was 11 I was still covering my eyes and giggling at kissing scenes in movies lol.
My children are 20, 14, 11 and 2. I didn’t let them watch any movies with sexual scenes in them until they were teenagers and even then i still won’t let them watch movies with extreme sexual content or a lot of nudity.

I still don’t let my child watch it and she is 12 …

You’re doing the right thing

My girls are 11 and 8. No scary movies, nothing sexual. Keep them kids longer… :woman_shrugging: The less they know the better .

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11 and 9 is waaay to young to see that kind of stuff. That’s not sheltering your kids it’s called good parenting

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No you are decent and moral parent

I remember watching scary movies with sexual scenes in it. I don’t really mind my son watching scary movies or comedy movies with that in it. Honestly the stuff that kids can see on the internet is much worse than any parent allows their kids to watch. To each their own.

They have probably heard all kinds of story’s and the 11 my have seen things with friends. But you’re their Mom and whatever you feel is right for your girls is right. I work in a boys group home and am utterly amazed as to how must a 10 year old knows. They are only kids for a short while don’t let them grow up to fast.

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I think, only my opinion, that it depends on how much u have told them and how mature they are for their age. Its a hard judgement call for a parent . Remember they go to school and hear alot, so maybe its best u teach them the truth. Hard anyway u go. Good luck.

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It doesn’t have to happen simultaneously either. My kids are 14 and 12. The older one got to watch more grown up things first. He was 12 when we let him watch R rated but pre approved by us first. Not just any whatever but a boob shot or the f bomb wasn’t a big deal anymore

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I may be old fashioned, but my kids didn’t watch any of that on my TV at any time while living at home. But then I don’t watch much on TV myself and never encouraged my kids to watch TV either and did monitor what they watched.

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**
My daughter is 11 and NOPE… There is a rating on there for a reason. What is appropriate for an 11yr old is rated as such. Sure I stretch it a bit but she knows to check the rating and if it is Y-17 or above I have to watch it first.

I have 2 older boys 23-21.
I have never let any of them watch sexual scenes as you described. Definitely no bare boobs. Sure the boys grew up and watched things without me around, and I am ok with that. However I find it completely inappropriate to watch adult rated (for nudity,sexual content) shows with my children or around them.

*NOT Religious, NOT a Prude , 9 years in the Marines

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Be willing to watch with them so if they have questions then you can answer them. You can judge for our own self if you feel your children are mature enough to handle watching it without running around bragging they saw this or that in a movie.

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I hope you have started a conversation with them about the changes that happen at those ages. Many little girls are getting their periods at 9 years old. At 11 some of them are fully developed and mature. The magic weight is 90 lbs. It is a hard conversation to have but trust me they have probably seen that stuff with the friends not all parents are paying attention to what the kids are watching. I understand you want to limit the exposure to trash that is on television but unfortunately it is everywhere.

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If your kids have access to internet they’ve seen it and heard it. Soon the 11 year old will start the transition to young lady don’t leave her to find out the hard way.

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I dint watch that stuff myself around the kids. I have boys that don’t need to see women’s bodies. Kids grow up fast enough without it. I figure when they’re married they can watch it with me if they want to. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

My sons are 13 and 4. And to be honest we don’t really sensor things. My 4 year old loves horror movies and the old one just watches whatever and if he has questions we talk to him about it. We dont put shame on it. More than likely your kid already knows some stuff no matter how sheltered you try to keep your child they will find out. So the question is do you want to give your kids the facts and be open and honest with them and answer their questions or do you want their friends to tell them things that might not be true or looking it up on the internet.

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I guess I shouldnt comment here. I don’t see anyone near as crazy as I am apparently. I “sheltered” my daughter and didn’t allow anything in my house that wasn’t wholesome and filled with goodness. Believe me, she got plenty of ugly at school but home was her refuge. I gave her bits and pieces of things as she grew and we had the “talk” when she was 11. Not full details but enough that she realized. We would have conversations about girls and boys and what’s appropriate and not appropriate. We still never had nudity on our tv or at any movie we went to. She went to college came home, married 2 years later, and all is well. Kids these days can not be sheltered too much. The world is trying to push things on them they are not ready for and their little minds aren’t ready to process. You know your daughters better than anyone else. They don’t need the bad, just give them lots and lots of good!

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I don’t have any children, but I would say better safe than sorry. There is a lot allowed on tv today that wasn’t allowed even 5 years ago. If you want to be more open minded, but are not completely comfortable, watch the show/movie first on your own, then if are ok with them watching it, watch it with them. This will give you some peace of mind, and at the same time make your kids feel good as well.

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Have you had “the talk” with them? I wouldn’t allow it until they have an understanding and questions have been answered. I wouldn’t want my children’s sexual education coming from sex scenes. Are your daughter’s emotionally mature enough for watching these shows? I wouldn’t think so at 11 & 9. :woman_shrugging:t3:Also, and importantly, let your daughters know what your values are on sex, frequently and often. A lot of time these movies and shows assume values that we as parents do not.

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We were very open with our daughter, we did not really sensor stuff at all. We discussed with her any questions she had, and felt good that the info came from us more than her friends.

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Too young to see sexual stuff. It is really up for the parent to decide. Children mature at different rates.
You should NEVER allow anyone to pressure you into a decision about what is best for your children. You know your children best, you decide what is best.

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Talk, talk, talk to your children. Then remind them not to share the information with their friends (out of respect for other parents). At this day and age, they are probably already hearing things in school anyway. Talk to them and then remind them that it is an inappropriate matter that only older women should discuss. But I guarantee they are hearing or seeing this everywhere already.

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Don’t be afraid to shelter your kids, they will learn it later when they are mature to handle such things… it is better to preserve their minds and let them be kids instead of filling their minds with things that don’t apply to them now… my parents blocked a lot of tv channels and limited tv watching time as well as computer because they wanted us to be kids, to go outside and play and not fill our heads with stuff…

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When growing up I wasn’t allowed to watch any of that. I left home when I was 18 I was married and watched it done if I wanted to. To this day if I’m watching a movie with my dad, I’m 61 he’s 78, and something pretty sexual comes on and stays on, so another words if it isn’t just Briefly then I use that moment to say I am going to the bathroom or do you want to snack or anything I still don’t feel comfortable in front of my dad watching something very sexual. I was brought up old fashion I’m not a prude but I believe that that’s the way you should bring up kids. At an appropriate age answer questions tell them what’s going to happen to their body you know when they’re 16 17 18 they will be learning things naturally on their own and hopefully asking you questions. There’s a difference between having A conversation with them and allowing and watching it with them. They may know about these things but I don’t believe that they have to be seeing them at least at this age

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Not a mom but the fact that you even have to ask this question proves the kind of world our kids are growing up in. And its sad. Honestly is there anything out there doesnt imply sex behavior? Even Disney movies have scenes that are made for adult audiences. They will learn to quickly the ways of the world. Shelter them!

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I wanted my sons to be children as long as possible. I am grateful that I did not have daughters as the pressure for women to be sexy instead of smart is overwhelming on any mainstream television shows. I am 58. I did not have this type of pressure growing up.

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Your girls I think are a little bit too young, but I would definitely sit down and have a good talk with them so when they are able they know what to expect

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Sheltering too much is not always a good thing and could lead them into a bad situation. I was 15 and had no idea what oral sex was–thought it was talking about sex. Boy I was with just laughed and didn’t tell me what it meant.

I raised 2 girls. And i definitely monitored what they watched. And yes what they watched depended on content. Tv is not the same as what it was when we were childen

They are still to young for that. But if they are asking for that type of movie or show I think it’s time to talk to the before watching. But don’t shelter them cause they may do it behind your back

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You are not sheltering them by not allowing them to watch these things. 9 & 11 are too young for overly sexual things. HOWEVER. Make sure you’re comfortable having the hard conversations with them, and make sure they know they can come to you and ask you anything. My parents overly sheltered me, never told me anything, and when I needed to find stuff out, I found out for myself.

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For me, to young, kids are growing up way to fast, let them be innocent as long as you can

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Everyone has their own opinion on what’s right or wrong!! I’m very open with my girls and personally I didn’t shelter them from anything… but that’s how I chose to raise them and that’s what worked for us. That doesn’t always work for everyone so just keep your lines of communication open… you are their mother you do what feels right for you and your family!!