I asked him if he could please tell his gf/friend to remove all photos and videos of my child off of her Instagram and to not take or post anymore…
Does this make me an a$$h0l3??
I mean it’s my child and I have never met this woman before … do I have that right to tell my son’s dad that?
Feeling like shizz
But also that’s my child and I’d do anything for his safety…
Ps he’s 9
I dont think you are… I feel that this is completely understandable
I wouldn’t want my child on a strangers social media.
Na. Especially if I don’t know her. Then that’s fraudulent use of intellectual property if they are pictures that you took and sent to him.
If you post pics/videos of him on social media you really can’t bitch. It sounds like you want to find a reason to piss him off.
No definitely not an ass hole I wouldn’t want my child paraded all over social media without consent xx
Nope absolutely not I would of done the same.
Yes yes you are the A hole…
smh 
seriously 
If you haven’t met her I wouldn’t be thrilled about it either. How long have they been together? If it’s been months I’d relax a tad more since she’s been there and dads had a chance to meet more people in her life. But I’d also tell her if she wants to post then fine. But her profile needs to be private to friends only.
Nope, NTA at all. Personally, I would go as far as including that clause into your custody agreement somehow.
I would have done the exact same thing !!!
You are allowed to be upset or not happy with it, but if the father has given permission then that’s that. As long as your child isn’t being harmed, what happens in your child’s fathers care is up to the father just as what happens in your care is up to you. You can’t dictate what the father does or doesn’t permit. He is a parent just as you are a parent.
I think you’re being petty & using safety as an excuse. Is he fully clothed in the pictures? Does she give an exact location with the pictures ? Just be happy she likes your kid enough to post him and quit trying to control your exes life. This isn’t about your kid and you know it.
A little bit ya. It’s his kid too. He has a say too and if he is okay with his girlfriend posting picture then that is his choice
No. It’s a safety concern
I agree with her removing photos if you haven’t meet her. Maybe once you meet her it might be different story. Don’t feel bad you are just being mom.
Just because you haven’t met her doesn’t mean anything. He has. Its his child also and if he’s given permission/okay with it then there isn’t much you can do.
It’s his child too. If the father approves and it’s on his time then you have no say. This isn’t about safety. This is petty and safety is your excuse. Make it about your child and not about you. If someone outside mom and dad love the child that’s what matters. No personal feelings, deal with that on your own but do not take any of that out on your child.
If Dad gave her permission I see no issue. Do you and Dad or his school post pics/video of him on social media?
Would you want him to dictate your partner and what they share with your child? I get it, you don’t wanna share. However, you & bd are not together anymore. You don’t have control over every little thing. You need to appreciate that he has a partner that wants to be involved in your child’s life, to love and care for them. Don’t let your pride/ego get in the way.
You are the ahole. It’s his child just as much as it is yours and if he gave her permission to do so, you have no business picking over it. He has the right to parent how he wishes.
Add her then get to know her what did you think he was going to do be single forever?
No. Fuck that. Your kid your rules!
You don’t know her, or her friends or what they’re doing as they look at those pics of your kid. I would message jer myself regardless if you have his “permission” unless they’re seriously in a relationship (like engaged/married/living together) she shouldn’t post your kids.
Don’t ever feel bad for defending and protecting your kids. Even if others don’t agree. YOUR kid(s).
what happens at Dads house unless it regards the safety of said child, unfortunately you can not control what Dad does or does not allow in his home or on dads time. I know it sounds tough but any judge will tell you that. As much as you may not like it, it’s Dads choice not yours. Just like whatever happens at your home or on your time Dad has no control over it unless it is in regards to the child’s safety.
Dad has a say too. It’s not just up to you. This is something you should DISCUSS with him and not demand of him. And in the end, it’s still his choice when he has his child.
If dad said it was cool then its cool. Nobody did anything wrong here except for you trying to control a dynamic that you aren’t a part of.
Power of the pus. Say doesn’t always work:roll_eyes:
he also get a say as$h0l3 lol
If he gave her permission then no, sorry nothing you can do.
I think it’s rarely ok posting pictures or/and information about kids. Someone could use the information for illegal stuff
Yes, I think instead that you should ask to set up a time where you can meet her. Understand you’re protective of your child, but maybe she is too.
You’re allowed to be upset, and I would be too a little. But he isn’t just your child. If the father is in a serious relationship with his new gf and the gf is involved with sons life, then I don’t see anything wrong if the dad is okay with it. You can not control what happens at Dad’s house or dad’s relationship. Getting upset and making demands will only make your coparenting difficult. Just offer to meet her and be the bigger person instead of potentially being a “bitter baby mama”
I don’t allow anyone to post photos of my children on any social media without my permission. Nothing you do on the internet is private and it is not a safe place especially for kids. Many people think it’s not a big deal but it is. This is not the same world we grew up in. I don’t see this as you being bitter or trying to cause problems. No one should post photos of anyone else’s child without asking permission.
What makes you the ahole is snooping on her social media in the first place! You said you don’t know her so why are you looking for trouble? A little jealous are you…
If you feel that strongly about internet exposure for your minor child then lawyer up and file for an injunction, but if you have EVER posted any picture of your child on any platform I assure you it will be extremely difficult
So because she’s posted a photo that means his unsafe ?
Your not the *sshole. She shouldn’t be taking pictures of your kids. You don’t know her intentions nor do you know who’s on her friends or follow lists & what their intentions are. File a parenting time restriction that no pictures or videos should be posted on social media by her. Ask that visits be forfeited if he doesn’t enforce.
Sorry but when child is with his father you have no say who he’s around. You can’t control what happens at dads place.
What do you think her intentions with your child are ? You trying to imply she’s a weirdo ?
it’s none of your buisness wjat happens at dad home. if he gives gf permission then they’re is nothing u can do
You just happen to notice that this woman posted a pic of your son? or you went nosing on her page and found the pics? I think you’re a little jealous. Which is fine and normal feelings but like others have said…I would just be happy that she cares enough to want to post him.
Don’t doubt Mama Bear instincts your absolutely right some people are crazy
Rather than causing complications perhaps take some time to get to know her first. You might be pleasantly surprised.
If you post your child online without dad’s permission & dad gave her permission to post him then I think you’re being controlling & a bit bitter. Also, if you don’t know her why are you on her social media?
No you don’t know the ppl she’s friends with or related to… sorry NOT sorry. Do you realize most ppl have known a Pedophile at some point in their lives?and never knew it. Either they were a family member or a friend a neighbor. It also doesn’t matter HOW she found out the gf posted the clip. What matters is she posted it and had no right to when the mother doesn’t know who is viewing the clip the dad probably doesn’t even know everyone well enough yet to OK her showing him on IG or FB whatever. You all play to much on Social media as it is to be showing other ppls kids na that’s weird. The new gf is outta pocket.
I can’t believe the comments on this! That is YOUR child and you should have a definite say in who’s posting pictures of him without even knowing you! I’d be pissed! Talk to your ex, he should have enough respect to at least hear you out.
kinda. yeah. you’re being obnoxious. maybe she cares about him. 
Well no you aren’t wrong for wanting it but you really can’t really tell him what can and can’t happen on his time. Maybe if you explain it in a way that lets him know it’s about your child’s safety and not that you are trying to control what happens.
I see a lot of pick me comments… you are the mother, you are primary provider of that baby… you carried that baby, not her and not him… he should have said y’all meet before allowing her to do that, I’d be kissed off and asking my child’s father why are you letting her post pictures without me meeting her first, it’s your child, and he should have you meet his gf to ensure you are well aware of this person around your child. I hate that if he is with dad you can’t say shit, Ahhh nooo, because dad can have unsafe people regardless of if dad knows it or not, people always have ulterior motives we never know of. So yes ask him about and stand your ground there are soo many less of social media, that she shouldn’t be posting without asking the mother anyway, dad girlfriend or not, you should meet the person he has around your child, and if anything, tell the child to tell her that he don’t want pictures taken of him.
I would ask for them not to be public for safety
I mean, i get being upset, but nothing you can do about it.
1.) I don’t let pictures of my kids on social media, either.
2.) Where did people get that posting a child that isn’t yours means you “care about them?” Sounds like an attention-grab to me.
you could meet her first. however i don’t like others posting my kid so i understand where you’re coming from
I would’ve loved if my ex’s new wife wanted to be around my son. Unfortunately it didn’t happen. She never met him. Instead his biological father , his wife, all his family walked out on my son. She’s not your enemy. My son passed away at 18 yrs old. Too late to fix things.
You are not wrong. It is your job to protect your child and I personally find it so disrespectful for girlsfriends/boyfriends to post images/videos of the children without the other parents consent. Do not feel bad. If it were the other way around I am sure your ex would feel some type of way as well.
Maybe just mention you saw it and ask to meet her. This us one of those things where I can understand your frustration but you don’t have a say in any of it either. I would ask to meet her and go about it nicely. You’d probably get a better reception. More flies with honey type thing
Something as public as Instagram yes definitely makes me uncomfortable. Recently after my daughter turned 6 years old I’ve made my account more private and only post pictures of her sharing under friends on Facebook and I deleted all pictures on Instagram of her that are not baby pictures.
What her intentions are??
Your right your protecting your child from human trafficking etc, you háve every right!
I mean it really depends on the situation. My step son has been my step son for over 6 years now. Me and his mother don’t get along nor do we dislike eachother.
He doesn’t remember life before me in it he was only 2 when I met him.
So I never posted pics of the 3 of us until we were together a while & of
Course his father said
It’s okay. Even now, 6+ years later I never asked HER for permission. We now have a child
Together and my step son so I will post pics of the 4 of us.
Unless the video is inappropriate you need to get over it
Agreed! If not, threaten to sue his @@@.
It’s really not safe to post your kids. I don’t blame you.
I would make her do the same thing
You don’t get a say in what he does in his parenting time or what he allows.
I wouldn’t be ok with that
Why you creeping her page?
you can report photos of your child on instagram bc they are under 13 they should get removed.
Nope, you have every right to tell them to take it down! You don’t know her or the people she knows(who will see).
You have every right. When I got full custody of my kids because of abuse and stuff they did put into the orders that my ex and his wife are not allowed to feature them in any type of social media without my express written consent. If you share custody you could have that put as a provision of safety.
You’re not wrong and have every right to feel that way.
Maybe she loves your son too, why not get to know her and have a healthy relationship with the lady who will be loving your child when he comes to visit dad
It’s his child too, im sure she has his consent.
I get both sides… as a mom I can see/feel yours but as any other role, being someone who easily loves other children, I can see the other side and how I’d love to do this were I a stepmom myself. General/only rule is that you ask a parent before posting their kid so if his dad said yes there’s nothing to do/technically not on you. Ideally though just make a mutual parenting decision about the kid’s social media presence 
I don’t think you’re unreasonable. Especially if you’ve never met her and this isn’t a serious relationship (in that they haven’t been together for years or are married). I don’t think anyone other than you and the father has the right to post anything about your child on social media or anywhere else for that matter without your consent. So no, you’re not the A hole.
I’m all for dad rights… but this baffles me that so many people are defending the dads girlfriend!!!
This lady hasn’t even met the girl! The dads gf could be an absolute weirdo… peado! Anything!
It’s great that the dads girlfriend wants to be involved but why would she feel the need to post videos or photos on her social media…
If this was the other way round and it was the mums new boyfriend people would be saying it’s not right! Women can be weirdos to!
Your not wrong ! You don’t know what kind of creeps are on the internet I don’t even let my family post pics of my daughter no matter if their profile is private or not
But you knew of her enough to be stalking her, seems you were fishing trying to find something to pick about. Ya issue bigger than this. Maybe it’s a reason he has introduced us and it doesn’t seem like your mature enough to me. It’s about your child not you. U said how many time " I" and “my” it’s not about “I” it’s about you guys child and not your child it’s yall child. So yes. Dad knows what he’s doing don’t mean to be a Debbie downer but baby you need to figure out the real issue at hand. At 9 ya child can voice and concerns he has. Just make sure you do the best you can to make sure your child know they can speak to you about any think and let dad parent the best he knows how. And if someone else sent you the pic, let them know you don’t do drama. Let dad parent the way he can. Cause I would be like why you sending me this if my child looks happy and healthy?
Wait. Who cares if you’re an asshole??? If you don’t want your child’s face on some woman’s social media, so be it. Have conviction and stand on it.
How would you want things if the shoes were on the other foot? That’s all.
As a mom I know how you feel. I don’t even like posting pics of my children on social media just because it’s literally the internet and anyone could someone get access no matter how much privacy you put up. And I have had issues making fb delete pictures. Unfortunately legally I don’t think there’s much you can do. You can ask but she doesn’t have to remove anything. Really she could make sure you don’t see them and move on.
Do you intend on asking his permission to post your child? Like stated above you don’t get to control what happens during his parenting time unless there is neglect or harm being done to the child. Just my opinion
I wouldn’t like it either if I was in your shoes. But the dad has a say in what happens at his house. If he’s okay with it, you’re out of luck. You’re NTA for feeling how you do though. I mean, you could always calmly talk to him about your feelings if you want to 
I don’t think you are being an asshole. But she probably asked him permission and he’s the parent too 
It depends, do u post pictures of your child online ? Have your friends posted pictures of him online ?
At the end of the day it’s also his child and if he is comfortable with this woman , unless u have both sat down and agree that he is not to be online , or only you and dad are to post him and no one else.
I understand it can be frustrating ,
I don’t post any stuff involving my step son because I just can’t even begin to deal with the back lash I would get
Why not get to know her, women stop having on one another and just be civil
No you’re not the a-hole… she is… she should’ve had respect and asked YOU and the father before posting YOUR child on her social media… its super creepy to me when people do that… and you said it from the get, you do not know her intentions…
Not an asshole at all, predators can find children through pixels in a photograph, your child your rules!
Depending on pictures…are they innocent or degrading to child?
I think it all depends on how long they have been together to…
I have never met my steps sons mum… she has no interest in meeting me I’m not overly bothered about meeting her but that boy has been in my life for 5 years and even calls me his 2nd mum… I post pics of him on social media… I can see where your coming from though…
Correction, It’s your and your ex’s child not it’s ‘my child’!
If your child attended a birthday party that you took them too and a video was posted on Facebook with your child in the video by a friend would you be upset or would you trust that your friend has great family and friends that will view it and your child is still safe.
I’m sure the father of your child would have a good judgement of character, I mean that’s why you had a child with him to begin with yeah so I think your child is still safe although the lady you do not know has posted a video of them on her Instagram. Did you do a little stalk on her and find the video? Did you go looking for something to be upset about?
No…it’s legit. You guys should know one another. And boundaries made.
If he allowed it, it’s not your place to say anything. He’s the father. Unless your court order states that this specifically is prohibited (which would be absolutely asinine), you have no grounds to make these demands. His parental rights gives him the ability to allow others to post pictures of his child. Women need to stop treating children as possessions. Having sex with someone is the equivalent of saying “you’d make an acceptable parent for my potential child”… he’s now the father, with parental rights. Accept it and move on with your life. For your child’s sake…
Otherwise you’re all in for a very long 9 more years.
People are talking about him being a peado… this is ridiculous. I get it. But at the same time. If it was your boyfriend posting and the dad said something to you. Would you make your s.o. take it off… if not why?
Unfortunately if you do it, he should be able to but I see you said she posted it not him. Have they been together a long time? I know it doesn’t matter but if she is in his life she should be in their lives as well. Be glad she is posting them and not telling him not to talk to you and she wants nothing to do with his kids.
I totally understand where you are coming from, it’s a scary world out there.
I think some maturing needs to happen here. You sound bitter ab it.
I mean I do get it … but do you post your children on social media?
I don’t because you never know what wrong people may see them, so I’d be fuming.
But if you and the father do and she’s had the fathers permission 
….
But there should be boundaries in place when you don’t know her at all an what not!
Sounds creepy you snooping on her page
I wouldnt like it…but that is a double edged sword as well. If you are posting photos and videos of him on social media,then you are compromising your son’s safety as well. Plus…this is his kid too. If he knows about it and is ok with it,then drop it.
Strangers should never be posting pictures of your child
#1 why have you not met this lady if your child is going to be around her?
#2 maybe she’s a nice person and obviously she’s getting to know your child and not hiding anything from anyone posting a video
#3 attacking her over it does make you look like an A-hole! You can have a civil adult conversation and politely let her know you don’t want his pic on the internet.