If this was the other way around, it would probably hurt your feelings if he never wanted to meet your friends.
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So. You want no part of his life and want him to live his life separately? You don’t have to make friends but going to show your partner you care about them is something you should do 
Compromise and go for x amount of time or don’t go to everything but go to some things
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So you’re an introvert and he’s an extrovert opposites attract girl you are being way too much about this so he wants you to meet his friends or his friends women at least he wants you around and around his friends you can’t be a homebody all the time
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I mean he shouldn’t be pushy but if it’s important to him it couldn’t hurt you to try either
I understand where you are coming from. It is hard being an introvert especially when you are with an extrovert. Do what you feel comfortable doing. You know yourself and know your limits.
I’m private too, I need my space
Ooh my opinion is uncommon lol
Neither of you are the problem. However both of you need to learn how to better communicate and how to compromise. There’s nothing wrong with you being an introvert, but there’s nothing wrong with him being a social butterfly either.
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Did you have a mother for you to learn how to have friends. We learn more from our family’s then we realize
You know how people are… they ask why haven’t we met her yet…he doesn’t want to say…she doesn’t like crowds of people…and then when you don’t go people tend to believe that you and your partner as not really that close or you’d be together…out together at parties and cook outs…what this man is trying to do and show is that he does indeed have a girlfriend and here she is…try to go to these get togethers so the man is not left to stand only in the crowd…as everyone asks …and wonder’s…where’s his girlfriend…
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There is nothing wrong with either one of you. My husband is the same way he is an extrovert and is always meeting new people and has lots of friends it just comes easy for him. I am an introvert with anxiety so I am happy with my close knit of people and don’t care for making new friends either and being the new person in a group of people is really hard for me to do and makes me feel uncomfortable. But my husband’s understands. Try communicating how it makes you feel in that kind of situation or see if you can meet a couple of them and not a whole group at once.
You should give it a chance. Is it really that bad?? If so, I suggest therapy. It could help
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We are the same over here. I have social anxiety and love sticking to my ususal. Its tiring meeting new people. My hubby in the past also tried to get me involved with his friends and their gf but our personality just dont match and they dont like me. Me and my hubby are also very different people so his friends are not my type… so IM the bad guy? I dont think so. I have friends. I have AMAZING friends and im ok with his friend or their gfs not liking me
I hate it too but being supportive of the way he feels also. Find ways to compromise. Invite one or two for a get together. Wouldn’t seem so overwhelming.
This doesn’t make sense to me. Are you mad he is asking you to be social with his friends?
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It’s not you. It’s not easy making friends these days and I get not caring for wanting to meet and be friends with his friends. I would just go to support him. You certainly don’t have to be their friend. Then you can at least say you tried.
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Also it’s pretty codependent when your so wants you to be friends with their friends tbh. There’s no rule saying you have to be friends either their friends. I certainly don’t put out the effort to be friends with my so people but I’ll be respectful of them snd show hospitality
If this post was written by a man everyone would be saying OP’s significant other needs to run and get away asap.
first move of an abusive spouse is to isolate the other person from their friends and family.
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I understand where you coming from I am an introvert and get nervous around people especially since I’m a private person too, but at least your boyfriend wants you to go and make friends, I think he just wants you to be happy and socialise so you’re not on your own all the time, I love being on my own from time to time but it gets lonely as hell if your not comfortable just have a conversation with him don’t leave him in the dark about it, just be honest.
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I’d find you saying “I’d rather stick to our small family but he’ll go wherever he’s invited” a red flag. He’s allowed to have friends, he’s allowed to go off and have fun if you’re to sit at home and brood. People are allowed a life outside of their relationship, if you don’t like him having a life then leave him.
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Ask yourself would you rather him go and not invite you?
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He’s trying to include you.
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You can’t change him anymore than he can change you. I’d at least make an attempt and meet them. If you go over there to meet them just take your vehicle too so you can leave as soon as you’re ready. I’m an introvert and I know it can be very overwhelming.
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A relationship is 50/50. Sometimes you have to make some compromises. You should at least be willing to meet his friends, get to know them a bit etc. He should also be willing to let you sit one out.
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It’ll be 19 years with hubby in July and I am a total introvert he is a social butterfly I appreciate getting the invites and he respects the fact that sometimes I choose to stay home I can’t force him to be an introvert and he can’t force me to be an extrovert it takes a little compromise on both sides at least for us. 
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As long as you don’t expect your partner to stop hanging out with his friends I don’t see it as a problem. It shouldn’t start an argument bcs if you don’t want to go he can still go regardless. Just bcs you’re not a social person doesn’t mean you should expect your partner to suffer and stay in the house with you. I think it probably means a lot to him if you were to put forth that effort and meet his friends and try to go out with him every once in a while. It’s nice being able to bring your partner to things and have them be apart of your friend group. My boyfriend is the same way socially and I don’t like the pressure of meeting his friends and feeling like I have to be friends w their girlfriends and so on… but I do it every once in a while bcs these people are important to him, so I need him to see that I care about the things he cares about and support him.
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Wait so you’re mad because he won’t isolate himself like you do? Or you’re mad because he wants you to make friends with his crowd so they feel welcomed or accepted? Honestly I say let that man go so you don’t drag him down with you, it is so unhealthy to isolate yourself let alone someone you love. I suggest counseling to help you with that isolation problem. Don’t try making your SO your prisoner let them be free and happy.
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Don’t loose yourself to please him. It’s ok to go enjoy the day don’t mean you have to share your life’s history with them or become besties!! But if this isn’t the only issue maybe you should step back see if this relationship is what you really want… only you can decide that.
He is who he is and you are who you are… The better question is are you ok with this? If not, I suggest finding someone new bc you should never try and change your partner
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As a fellow introvert I know how you feel. I have friends and family I feel very comfortable with who know me well and dont try to force me into doing things I dont want. Im not anti social or isolated…I just enjoy my own company most of the time.
If you can’t agree on life then one of you is going to be miserable and you’ll end up resenting each other. If he cant accept you as you are and stop trying to change you then hes not the life partner for you.
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Here’s the question though… when he wants to go somewhere just him with his friends do you get irritated? If you do, sounds like he’s trying to find a middle ground.
It sounds like hes trying to include you. If you dont wanna join then don’t. He can go on his own. You just can’t get mad at him for it. Some people need a social life. Some don’t really care. If hes the type that needs that social life then let him have one. If I were you I’d join in from time to time but explain to him that you arent really a social person. Join sometimes for his sake. Just like im sure hes probably not gone somewhere and stayed home for yours whether he has told you about it or not.
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This is a deal breaker. Ehy? Because despite you REPEATEDLY saying youre uncomfortable, he is still pushing you. Youre allowed to be who you are and live your life as you see fit. I understand he may WANT you to be there w him, but you are NOT required to grant his every wish. If he is still doing this after youve alreadt made yourself clear, hell keep doung it. Id go.
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My husband and I are the same way due to I have social phobia and other disorders that make me want to stay home and not be around people, but depending on the situation I’ll go out with my husband and his friends if their wives or girlfriends come as well even tho I’m extremely uncomfortable and rather be home. And there are also times he goes out by his self with friends. Even tho I was not looking for new friends I still went out had a good time and actually met some cool people who I do consider friends now thru my husband. Besides its always good to have female friends to talk to when you are going thru issues with the husband. Half the time they are going thru the same shit. And some times you have to step out of your comfort zone and take a chance. Is it really worth the fight with the husband over going out for a few hours to have some fun??
Are you ok with him going alone to these get togethers? If so then no, it’s not a deal breaker. But you can’t expect a social butterfly to just sit at home to appease you.
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Lighten up!!! Maybe he should just go without you!!!
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He’s trying to include you in his group of friends…It would be a deal breaker if he DIDN’T!!!
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Stay home. At least he’s trying to include you. However, that doesn’t mean you can get mad when he chooses to hang with friends ect.
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I’d be more upset if I WASNT invited to these things, he’s clearly trying to include you so you don’t feel left out. Give it a chance, you might actually like one of his friends partners!!
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I wish I had this. I don’t ever get this. My relationships his friends are always HIS friends and I need to make my own. And I am an introvert, so making friends is hard. And you don’t have to be “friends” with them just friendly. I would at least try to go to a few things but you don’t have to go to all of them. It’s not a deal breaker at all. He’s probably going to want to go to events without you when you don’t want to go and as long as he’s up front and honest with you about his shenanigans then he should be allowed to go. Do you accept he will want to hang out with friends? There’s nothing wrong or right here unless you expect him to be something he’s not. And he needs to accept that you’re not always going to want to hang put either. Maybe you’ll find that diamond in the rough amongst his friends.
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Damn… what i would have done for that. Everyone is different. Hopefully y’all can come to a balance.
I doubt he’s sittin here thinkin…is this a deal breaker?! Crazy
If you don’t want to go, don’t! However, you should let him go. He should not have to be a hermit just because you are.
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You know the the answer. Trust your gut.
Imo i love just being with my man, doesn’t matter where or with whom. He is my best friend since i dont have many.
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You can’t expect him to sit at home with you all the time. It sounds like he wants you to be included…
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A great marriage is all about compromising!! My husband and I are polar opposites. There’s things he likes that I don’t and vice versa, but we do it together cuz we want each other to be happy and enjoy our lives. Atleast that’s how it is for me
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Yes you are the problem.
Lighten up, hes trying to include you into his friend group and life. They obviously mean a lot to him and he wants them to mean a lot to you. Its a good thing
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Only you can answer this question, maybe you need a person more like you and maybe you don’t, it will either be a decision you regret or a fruitful one, listen to your heart, but also be realistic about where the relationship is headed! If you don’t see yourself adjusting to this well I think you should embrace being single again- there is nothing wrong with keeping to yourself it is a personal preference and as mama always said - them mfers ain’t your friends!! Lol! I totally get it and being uncomfortable can reveal a lot about yourself- listen to how you feel precisely in those uncomfortable moments. Good luck.
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Well it sounds like he’s just trying to keep you apart of his ENTIRE life, but as long as he’s okay going out with everyone without you, and your okay with staying home alone while he goes out with other couples and friends then shouldn’t be a deal breaker, but if you expect him to stop going out anytime he’s asked, but also not willing to be apart of that, then just leave. It’ll only get worse. You can’t expect him to stay alone with just you constantly just as much as he can’t expect you to be always willing to go out.
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Your showing your uninterested in him and his friends. If you TRY you might end up making a great friend or two. Would you rather he just not include you at all?? You don’t have to go all the time but at least show an effort bc he definitely is.
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So do you never want to go to gatherings ever, or do you just never want to go to gatherings his friends are throwing?
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So this happened to me- my husband had a friend who lived close by and he would always hang out over there and told me I should come too since his friend’s wife is always there.
I remember freaking out on the kitchen floor telling him I didn’t want to go and felt like it was a friend blind date lol and him telling me to bring a bottle of wine and just go this one time.
That couple lived a mile away from us and we quickly morphed into the double date type friends where we would cook dinner all together multiple times a week and just hang out. I’m glad I sucked it up and went that night.
I’m definitely more hermit than social butterfly but maybe go along once and see what you think.
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Quiet frankly you should be glad he’s trying to include you. He could just go do his thing without you. A relationship is about give and take not 1 thinking its their way all the time
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Shit I would go in a heartbeat! That’s the best. He’s not taking off and trying to have a life without you or exclude you from anything.
IMO it sounds like someone needs to grow up (YOU) I did it for my husband it was something we could do together with friends
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If you want a relationship where it’s all about you… You will end up a lone.
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Honestly suck it up lol you don’t have to be besties with his friends but at least make an effort to get to know the people who are important to him
Marriage is about comprising. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t necessarily enjoy if your spouse enjoys them and vice versa. I am assuming he doesn’t always want to stay home either, but I’m sure that happens sometimes as well.
Compromise, compromise, compromise!!!
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Yes you’re the problem
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I’m not a fan of being too friendly with my husband’s friend’s wives or girlfriends but to keep peace and harmony I will go with him to certain events or to visit them
They’re actually really nice and we don’t meet often but when we do it’s nice
You don’t have to tell them every little detail about your life but it’s nice to have friends
I’m an introvert and very shy around people but it’s nice to go out and have a nice time with others
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I mean I’m just like you but now that my daughter is getting older she is always asking to hang out with friends and I’m just a reclusive longer and my hubby is super outgoing and goes wherever he’s invited! I think for the same of your children and to be included with your s/o you might wanna try to establish some outside friends. Cause it actually is a good feeling to have people to talk to and hang with and invite and be invited!!
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Let me tell you I have a friend just like you. Never wanted to go anywhere with her husband (friends house, work get together etc) only if it was to her families house. Welp the husband who is also a very good friend of my husband’s and I started going without her. I’m sure you can guess what happened next! He met a really nice, fun woman and one morning he went to work and he never came home again. Filed for divorce and married the gf. If your husband would just leave you at home and do his own thing you’d be just as upset! So if you’re truly fed up you know what to do…
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Makes Ng friends to good people even for shy people. Unless. They are not healthy to body and soul
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I hate being around people and my hubby can come home from the gas station with a new BFF. We get each other, don’t push, and I see it as if he deals with them I don’t have to:) I do family things, and in the rare mood others but he always asks and doesn’t push. Just goes if he wants to and that’s the end of it. It’s not a deal breaker to us.
That’s what a relationship is. Incorporating each other into each other’s lives. You need to find a balance. Make friends with them,
give them a chance that way you can go with your s/o, who obviously wants you around which is not a bad thing, and be comfortable. If in occasion you don’t want to go then that should be ok too but don’t just always stay away. I like being home, with my husband, fam or my little group of friends. My husband gets me out of my comfort zone in a good way. Ive met his friends and their wives/girlfriends and it’s been nice. If I don’t feel like going once in awhile it’s not an issue he will stay with me. We listen and work with each other.
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If your fed up leave!! He sounds like a social person and you aren’t. It will never work!
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You’re not gonna last long with him. People are in relationships to do things. If he goes and you don’t he may find someone more appealing. It happened to me.
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Damn, maybe it’s a deal breaker for you and you should move on. Let that man find a woman who appreciates a man who includes her in his social circle and wants to show her off.
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Unpopular opinion maybe, but I don’t blame you. If your not comfortable, you shouldn’t be shamed or forced to go. Some people are just not people persons.
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it’s important to either be on the same page about these things, or reapect each other’s personalities enough to BOTH make the occasional compromise, so i suggest a heart to heart before you decide to call it quits. but no one should feel constantly “on”. i’d be unhappy af with that.
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I don’t think he’s the problem but if you want the relationship to work you need to come out of your comfort zone and go with him and make friends he obviously loves you and wants to include in everything which is a good thing if you don’t want that then leave because it’ll never work out in the end
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Poor guy! Hope he doesn’t end up finding a fun outgoing woman at his friends house 
nobody or should I say most people don’t wanna be kept up in the house all day.
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I’m the SAME WAY But I don’t think (for me personally) is a reason to cut ties. No matter who you get with there’s going to be small things like this that is going to happen. Be happy he’s at least trying to include you instead of just running off randomly to hang out with friends. I know it’s annoying feeling pushed to do it, but regardless if you say no then that’s it, he still can’t force you to go once you give an answer
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Sounds like you are an 8ntrovert and he is an extrovert. Good luck,hope it works out for you.
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Go make friends girl! Try to get out of “keep to myself” which actually means “unsocial” and to me that also ends up being lonely! Just my opinion!
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It sound like yall are on different pages of the chapter. You need to think about what you want marriage and relationship is about sacrifice and compromise if you can’t go hang out with his friends at least sometimes he will start going without you etc you and him need to have a heart to heart and find out what each other truly wants if it’s not the same it won’t work
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Extroverts and introverts can make it work if they respect eachothers needs ie not pushing you to go and you not stopping him from going …if that is the only issue…but if there is a few others as well than it gets much trickier…and you will run the risk of him meeting someone more compatible 
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“this is just who i am” is a toxic way of thinking. Maybe he wants you to make friends with his friends so you’re included in his life. Maybe he wants you to be more interested in the people he likes being around. Personally, I think you’re being selfish in not even trying.
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This is totally me and my husband too lol. I’m extremely introverted and he’s extremely extroverted. It’s not a deal breaker IMO
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Tell him to leave you at home, so later you can complain about that. I’ll be waiting for that post😅
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Hes a social butterfly and you’re not. Someone has to conform or both will be miserable.
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He’s trying to get you to be more social. He’s hoping that by getting to know them you might want to go out more often. If he’s an extrovert and you’re an introvert, and neither of you are willing to compromise, break it off.
My hubby is a home body. I don’t push him into making friends. I remind him and say he might feel better getting out of the house more but it’s up to him. It doesn’t stop me from going to places I’ve been invited to. I do see where he is coming from too though. I’ve always wanted “couples friendships”. I love the idea of hanging out with other couples that have the same interests as us, like golf lol. But it’s never been like that for us. Lol. I’m the social butterfly, he’s my home hermit lmao
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Its not unreasonable for him to want you to get to know his friends etc but it is unreasonable for him to push you to do it if you don’t want to
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You can be private and still be present. You can go places and not put your business out there, just smile and wave and yes, get to know people. Who knows, you might actually like them
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For him, it may be a deal breaker. I would want my SO to attempt to be social as well. If he can’t respect your antisocial personality (which there is nothing wrong with), then it may be time to have a “are we compatible” convo.
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Girl, cmon. Get out there and socialise. It’s your partners friends and gfs
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Not a deal breaker but a conversation needs to take place. You need to find a middle ground that you are both comfortable with
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I’m antisocial. I still go to my husband’s friend’s houses for barbeques and stuff bc our kids like to play together. Every now and then do double date with them and us going to dinner and a movie. It is nice to get out of the house every once in awhile,even as an introvert. I’d give his friends a chance. Dont like to do it more than twice a month though. Lol. I’m a hermit.
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Wow. Okay my husband is the same, he makes friends and wants us to go places and I am a homebody (I’m a writer so I’m always on the computer) and I don’t like people much. But guess what? I love my husband and it makes him so happy when I get along with his friends and seeing him happy and smiling is 100% worth it for me to go places with him.
Like learn to freaking compromise maybe you’ll have fun.
People are dying and you’re complaining that you have to talk to someone, get over yourself.
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That’s an immature take on that. He may be just trying to help you.
If you truly don’t like it and don’t want him to do it anymore then tell him.
If you wanna just leave, then leave. Stop with excuses.
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Either lighten up and socialize with the guy now and then or he’s likely to leave you in the dust in favor of someone who will. Either you’re compatible or you’re not.
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I would end it now. He will feel trapped years down the road. I was a social butterfly and still am when my husband is not around. It’s not fair to you but also not fair to him.
Seems like a deal breaker, as you won’t compromise and are just bitching about him wanting you to hang out with him and his friends. He’ll be unhappy soon if he isn’t already.
You’re just going to a BBQ, nothing about it means invading your privacy… I’m an extreme introvert too, my hubby has gone to lots of things alone with friends and enjoyed himself, but if it means something to him I’ll be present… I always enjoy myself, I’m sure you would too if you gave it a chance… Say hello, eat, laugh and then go home.
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This is a huge issue …u dont gotta seee nobody all week all month …but i do feel ( in my opnion ) everyonce in a while when your man asks u …he wants to spend time withhh uu outside the house …u dont gotta go everyweek…i get it tho bc i used to be like this…i was never shy …just lived in a house with 8 loud muthfkrs and around kids all the time and i justttt wantedddd to beee alone …took me a while of being alone …to make me want to be around ppl again !
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First world problems🙄
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If he can’t compromise then you’re just not compatible.
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Sounds like the two of you aren’t the best match.
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Daym you’re cranky! You need to hook up with my sisters fiancé because he’s a homebody and doesn’t like no one. Then go on an Icicle and float off the planet in the sea. Lol
Sadly I think your over reacting a tad
I get you have trouble in the friends dept
I’m the same way
But my issues Stem from being a navy wife (friends come and then get posted somewhere else)
Just take little steps when it comes to meeting people
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Yes you are the problem. He’s trying to include you……
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