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QUESTION:
"My sil lives hours away and I can count how many times she’s been around our kids. She used a picture of our kids and herself on her Christmas card this year. I asked my husband if she had asked him permission before using that pic and sending that out, he said no. It’s just weird to me that she’d use their picture and without permission. Not to be overprotective but I am- there are weird people in the world- I have no clue how many or to who she sent the cards to. And it’s always kinda irked me when grandma hijacks my pictures and posts them on her page- just because I literally know my privacy settings and whose on my page. I have no clue how close she is to everyone on her page or what her restrictions are. How can I say something but keep it kind and not aggressive or should my husband say something since it’s his family? Or drop it?"
RELATED: My Mother-in-Law Doesn’t Afford My Family Any Privacy Whatsoever Without a Fight: Advice?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"It’s your children, your family. Say what you want to. I for one do not post my children on social media. For safety reasons."
"How does your husband feel about it? If he feels the same as you, let him handle it. If not, make a phone call to your Sil"
"I would have your husband deal with it. I would politely ask them not to share photos of your children online without permission going forward (if you didn’t mention it sooner you can’t be overly upset because it’s not common practice for everyone.) If they proceed to share photos then block them on social media and deal with it further, at that time."
"Social media is one thing. Using a photo to send out on physical Christmas cards is another. 100% would not be okay with that."
"Does she have kids of her own? I think you’re overreacting. Before I had kids my nieces were everything to me, I mean they still are but I have my own family to focus on now. She’s probably proud of them & she loves them. Yes, she probably should’ve asked you, but I doubt she meant any harm. Maybe after the holidays ask your husband to kindly bring it up to her, he can tell her that you are private people & aren’t comfortable with their pictures being shared, if that’s how you really feel."
"I would just change your privacy settings on your social media platforms to be as private as possible when you post pics. In addition you can put an emoji face over their faces to protect them and their privacy. I would do this while the kids are small and until they’re old enough for their own social media accounts. Your family will notice and get your point. If they ask what’s up then you can discuss your concerns and your boundaries or they get NO pictures. Those are your rights as Mom."
"First off I think it’s fucking weird she would use YOUR kids on a Christmas card period! Like how about send one of just herself or not at all! I would definitely let her know how weird it is and definitely crosses the line"
"That would bother me."
"I think personally she should have asked first. I would talk to her about at least asking. She might have met no harm, however still kinda odd. My niece and nephew were my pride and joy, but they’re not my kids. I would use my pet or something as a Christmas card before them idk… tread lightly to your sil but set your boundaries for next time."
"Super weird. But easily avoided in the future. Don’t post your kids on social media at all."
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