Am I wrong for being upset that my husband has female friends?

Am I wrong for being upset about my husband having female friends that aren’t friends with me? Part of me feels like I am overreacting. Thoughts? Edit just found out that this particular female has a “thing” for my husband.


Friends should be BOTH
You don’t go out on your own with men he doesn’t meet at all so why should he

Your in a committed relationship if they including your husband have an issue with understanding you come as a pair then they are all NO GOOD FOR YOU xx


Nip it NOW. If he has a problem with it then peace out!


Why are they not your friends

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as I tell all my best friend’s girlfriend’s…i I wanted to be with them I would have had them, we’ve been friends for decades, I’ve been around long before you, and I will be around long after you. And no I don’t have to even like you let alone be friends with you I just have to be civil to you.

If you’re so insecure that they can’t have female friends you need to leave and fix yourself.


Definitely. My husband has female friends…
I am 1000000 percent ok with this. Even if they have a “thing” for him. The thing is…I trust my husband 100000 percent. He also trusts me. We can be out dancing, and if a guy asks me to dance, my husband is ok with it, as my husband does not like to dance. It is wonderful to have an amazing trusting relationship going both ways. That is the secret to our long and happy marriage.


Everyone deserves the right to have friends, doesnt matter the sex…if you dont trust HIM than the issue is with him not female friends.


Unless he has a thing for her, why would you be upset? Women get too damn insecure over this subject. Friends are friends, if she has a thing for him, just make sure she doesn’t try to act on it. Not sure what the issue is, my hubby is friends with some of his ex’s and I wouldn’t say we were friends as I’ve never met some of them. I have nothing to worry about :woman_shrugging:

I don’t give a shit if you trust your husband. I trust mine but I’ll be damned if this female has a thing for my husband an is still friends with him that is just plain disrespectful

You don’t have to be friends everyone your spouse is friends with. But I’d definitely be nipping the one that has a thing for him.

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If it’s all his female friends then yes. If it’s just one or two in particular maybe theres a reason?

As someone who’s had a. nearly 20 yr friendship break down over this exact same thing I can promise you somebody WILL get hurt. He will be hurt to have to choose. She will be hurt at losing her friend
I think its something you need to work on yourself
You need to figure out why your with someone you dont trust, so what if she has a thing for him does that mean she gets to have him?
This is a you and him issue not a her and him issue


Why arent they friends wit you? Have you invited them over or invited them to a night out?

Maybe see about meeting her and all becoming friends but if she has a thing for him tell him to cut her off and make it clear nothing will never happen between them


Talk to him tell him how you feel, and end what little friendship he has with the one that likes him. If he truly love you he would not have an issue with that.

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It does not bother me, I’ve actually gained a few friends through him! I trust him as far as that!

There is no right or wrong and your relationship is yours. So even if there’s women on here who don’t care that their hubbies have female friends who they take bubble baths with- it’s not about them. It’s about YOUR comfort level with YOUR husband in YOUR marriage. No one else will benefit or suffer from your choices so really who gives a damn what anyone on the internet has to say about your comfort zone in your marriage :woozy_face:

I personally am ok with my hubby having female friends who I am also friends with and that’s a two way street with my male friends and him knowing them. There are boundaries though for sure and while we trust each other we also don’t believe in allowing temptation to sneak in.

But again- that’s OUR marriage and what works for us :heart::slightly_smiling_face: 12 years this year.

Yes. You need to get over it. They are his friends. They don’t have to be your friends. And he’s entitled to have opposite sex friends :woman_shrugging:t2:

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You sound insecure in your relationship.

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You sound toxic and insecure.

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Don’t you have any male friends you can hang out with coworkers friends acquaintances even cousins but you don’t have to tell him you’re related and tell him what you have your girlfriend’s you go out with I have my boyfriend’s I go out with he’ll change his tune real quick


If you trust your husband, you shouldn’t worry about her. He will set her straight. It’s when and if he lets whatever behavior you are talking about continue.

My husband can have female friends. But he also takes into account my anxiety and overthinking. So if one of them had a thing for him he wouldn’t keep contact.


My husband works at tech where he work with females and males. They are multiple friends that are girls that are friends with him and also males too that I’m not particularly friends with I know of them but I don’t know every single one of them and I’m okay with it. He tells me if one hits on him or gives him their number and I tear it up and he tells them he’s married has kids and one on the way . The female friends he’s friends with knows he’s taken and respects that and respects me. I have only had two problems with two that have tried to get with him and I he knows how I feel. He doesn’t engage them actually his coworkers that respects me and him tell the ones hitting on him to back off.

i don’t think so especially since you found out this one in particular has a thing for him

I think that it depends on how is their friendship. I dated a guy once that his best friend was a woman he had been friends with for 20 years. The problem was they were spending 3-4 times per week together and he was always her plus one at any event. At my age, 42 I don’t have time to play guessing games. So I let him go.


It’s fine for both of you to have your own friends of the opposite sex. If one of them makes you uncomfortable for a specific reason, you should be able to calmly but honestly talk to your partner about it. When you’re with someone and you trust them, you should be fine with them having friends…big BUT though, it should be known to him that if one of those women try to cross a line with him that he should shut it down and you should be told. At that point she’s disrespecting you and your relationship. I work in a predominantly male field. Almost all of my friends are male. My SO understands this. As long as there’s honesty and communication about it without overreaction, it doesn’t have to be a problem… nevermind!!! Just saw the edit! Nope, if she’s wanting more from him than friendship, he should respect you enough not to continue messing with her. It makes you uncomfortable and yalls relationship and you both feeling secure should be the priority.

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I say once you are married, the days of hanging out with friends of the opposite sex are out. If you & your spouse don’t hang out with friends together etc it’s not right. To me it’s not a trust issue but a respect for your mate issue.


Do you have males friends that you don’t bother telling your husband with because you just never thought they were a threat to the relationship and it never crossed your mind to introduce each other?

My boyfriend doesn’t have any female friends he hangs out with but he has female friends he talks to on occasion. He would never go out with them alone though, he knows where I stand but say he’s out with his guys & she happens to be there he doesn’t make it a big deal nor do I. Just tell him your concerns & try & go from there. If a man is gonna go looking for something or someone other than you then there is nothing you can do to stop it.

When a single female from a work relationship crosses the line by sending frequent texts all with : ) & ; )
And insists on a very intimate hug hello & goodbye (to a man that doesn’t hug ppl) every time they see each other it should be stopped immediately! A wife comes first & single woman need to respect the boundaries of marriage- period.

That’s a hard one. If he’s never done anything to break your trust and his girls are not overstepping boundaries I would just let him be friends. If they ignore you or give off a weird vibe with then yeah I would definitely have a problem. Is there a reason you guys can’t all be friends?

You are not wrong…
I would ask him to sign everything his name and yours-
Face book pages, texts-
My husband and I don’t give rides to the opposite sex and my meeting has door open-

It isn’t about current trust- it’s about preventing areas of vulnerability

I don’t know how everyone else feels but I’m not okay with that at all


If you trust him, you don’t have anything to worry about.

If he respects you, and your feelings, he will either drop the female friends, or invite them and you to get to know each other.

Yep I would be mad too specially since she has a thing for your hubby.


We are not the same. That’s a hard no from me


No not wrong… he knows she as had a thing for him and he is still friends with her… NO NO NO NO. He is wrong.

The real question is if you trust him.and there is deffinetly boundaries on things that I hope he and her both respect.

Neither of us have friends of the opposite sex unless they are friends of both of ours.


I think within limits if someone makes you uncomfortable he should be okay with limiting contact with them. Now if it’s every female that comes around you may be over reacting

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I would keep an eye on her

I don’t see a problem with having friends of the opposite sex but I don’t think you should hang out one on one.


When I was with my ex, I had tons of male friends. Several of them had a thing for me, but respected that I was taken.

He also had many female friends. 2 had a thing for him. The way I saw it, I got a man that others wanted, but I got. So I was proud. He felt the same.

We were open and honest about these friends and if we had conversations with them on social media, we let the other read the text willingly.

As long as you are honest with each other and aren’t keeping secrets. Then it’s fine.

(For the record, our breakup was do to arguments over the kids and how they should be raised, not our friends)

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No. Your husband shouldn’t be hanging out alone with other women.

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If I say it’s wrong of him, but then reverse the situation and place myself in his shoes… I’d lose over half my social circle and friends.

Lust is a natural human emotion. There is always going to be someone who likes your husband. That doesn’t mean he is going to be unfaithful or act on it.

What are you going to do? Delete every woman who crosses your husband’s path in life? What happens when one day it’s a colleague? Make him change jobs?

Just because someone likes your husband; doesn’t imply your husband likes them in the same manner and is going to act on it.

It’s human nature and part of life that you aren’t going to like everyone, time you grow up and respect your husband and trust your husband.

If you don’t trust your husband can remain faithful while this other woman is in your lives; then your marriage has bigger problems then this woman.


If his friends don’t want to be cool with you then there is a reason. Trust your gut. I don’t care about my partner having male or female friends, but they gotta be cool with me or they gotta fucking go and if my partner has a problem with that, they can kick rocks too.

Yes. You should be able to trust him 100%.if you can’t you’re in the wrong relationship

Yes ! Because if it was innocent he would involve you in the friendship . My husband we not be friends privately with no woman .

People in relationships ARE ALLOWED to have their own friends regardless of their sex
If you don’t trust your partner that’s on you and you shouldn’t be with them

If he can’t have female friends, you can’t have male friends. Sit down and have an open conversation about how you both feel about the opposite sex friend issue and set the same rules for both of you!

It’s not right if they are hanging out together without you. He can be friends with anyone as long as that includes you. Even with trust things happen. He shouldn’t want to be with anyone else but you unless he’s out with the guys. Understand?

Unless she either forces herself on him, or he is a cheater, you have nothing to worry about.

I have male mates and my fiance has females friends. Why would you be upset. If you are telling your husband he can’t have female friends then that’s a sign of dv. Sounds like you have trust issues or low self esteem. If my fiance told me I couldn’t speak to my male mates he would be gone. Lived with a control abusive partner before never again

Quit being insecure woman. Trust him to be loyal

Sophia Poulos the only friend my husband has is me and whichever mood i have for that day x


To each their own really. I would think it was a bit weird if they were hanging out one on one with eachother especially if your husband knows she has a “thing” for him. Not saying he would do anything just wierd to me. Why not introduce the 2 of yall, maybe make a friend too.

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My husband and i have finally come to terms with the fact that we can’t have friends of the opposite sex. Too many people want to cause a rift and not build our relationship up. We have a couple male friends in common , his friends primarily. But honestly every female friend he has had has tried to get him to leave me or offers him drugs.

Nope. If she has a thing for him see needs to go.

Hell no it’s not WRONG. I don’t understand why there are so many women are okay with it either, y’all are naive as hell if you don’t think those female friend are there to keep his options open. It’s not about “trust’ it’s respect. I trust that my husband does not put himself in tempting situations; and I’ve never even dated a guy that hung out alone with a female he wasn’t hoping to hook up with. Don’t get me wrong it’s fine to have female " friends” on Facebook and such, also to even have females that you know from school, work, etc. that you may be friendly with when you see them out and about in PUBLIC. But if you are in a monogamous relationship with someone you should never be hanging out or doing things alone with them and that is because it is being respectful of your partner.

Since when does trusting a man prevent him from cheating? It’s not about trust. It’s about setting boundaries. IDC how long a woman has known my spouse. If I say she got to go then :speaking_head:she gots ta gooo!

That being said having friends of the opposite sex is fine. However those priorities shift.

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Watchout my x had alot of female friends and it turned into alot of trouble I tried to be friends with one she called and said she lost the baby.

I’m terribly sorry but it sounds abusive to control who a partner can and can’t be friends with. The question is do you trust him? If you do then there’s nothing to worry about. If you don’t, then why are you with him?

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Of she has a thing for him yes. If she is 100% a friend then don’t worry. But any girl who is just a friend shouldn’t have a problem being your friend too… and if he has a problem with them being your friends too then I’d be worried


Nope not wrong at all and your husband should be distancing himself from that female just for the simple fact that she has a thing for him.
Shut it down before it even gets the chance to progress. :no_good_woman:t2:
Also, trust your husband to do the same.


If your my husbands friend your my friend and if your not my friend your definitely not my husbands friend :woman_shrugging:


Oh hell tell her about her stay in her Own Lane

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If they can’t/won’t be friends with you as well, that’s a red flag. My guy has female friends he’s has since school but most are married and all have been open to me and became my friends too.


Nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex as long as there are no feelings. However if you know she has feelings for him and you can’t trust him then there’s already more wrong then just him having female friends. I’m just saying you have to have trust in a relationship.


As long as your husband is loyal and you trust him, don’t worry! One of my BEST friends is a guy. We’ve been so for about six years. It really hurts our feelings when our partners don’t trust us. Unless he’s cheated in the past, I wouldn’t worry a bit! I strive to normalize male/female friendships


Men and women can have friends of the opposite sex. It’s when there are no lines drawn in the sand, so to speak that it becomes a problem

She is not a friend if she doesn’t respect that he’s married


I personally will not compete with another female. I expect my guy to make sure other females know their place and who I am. If my guy doesn’t squash that and handle it hes gone. I never befriend a man and not his woman too.


I’m okay with it, however I did tell a girl to back off after finding out they were almost a thing. Also alwsts feeling like the third wheel between them… Trust is a big thing.

You are a pair. If they refuse to include you I would be pissed.


I’d say the ball is in your husband’s court now!


I think if you can’t trust your husband to have female friends (even one that may have a crush on him), then you have more issues in your marriage. My husband would automatically distance himself if he felt like she was being inappropriate. I 100% trust my husband not to do anything that would be disrespectful to me.


Well your partner is an individual out side of your relationship. So I think it’s a normal reaction but perhaps it stems from insecurity you can let him know how you feel and sit and talk about it


If she has a thing for him no. If she didn’t have a thing for him that would be fine. I have male friends my best friend is a male he is married with kids and lives the next state over and is invited to our wedding. My fiance has zero issue with it as I have zero issue with him being friends with a chick from high school. People are allowed to be friends with the opposite sex.


I wouldn’t worry about it. More than likely other women can and do see in him the same things you love about him. As long as he’s not encouraging them romantically or allowing the friendship to be a priority over you, just put it out of your mind or you risk reading too much into something that just isn’t there. Don’t make problems where there aren’t any. Just make sure he knows how you feel and let him draw lines where he needs to.

My partner has friends that are females. I’ve met them. One is my sort of person and we had double dates. The other isn’t but that’s okay it’s his friend.
However I fully trust my partner and also she doesn’t have a thing for me. It would be different otherwise xxx

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My man had a “good old girl friend” from high school he had zero interest in… Let me see all texts even though I didn’t want to and always had me answer her if his phone went off an he was in other room. He literally was blind to her being attracted to him. I could see it from 1st message. I was so insecure and worried. But I knew he didn’t feel anything for her. But, she’d text an call alllllll hours of the night an day, stop by bring gifts just for him an his daughter … Or drop his favorite cookies off . That , I wasn’t ok with. We bickered over it cuz he said I didn’t trust him, but I told him it’s her. Not him… Welp, few weeks went by, an he then noticed it all when she got mad about shit that only his chick would. We both blocked her an now he sees why I tell him, most women won’t try to be friends with a dude in relationship unless they want something. If they don’t, they will be more then welcoming to the partner of the person. So , FUCK THAT!


My husbands friends from work were at my baby shower with me never meeting them before. If you trust him you shouldn’t worry about him.

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You should not concern yourself with her feelings, only his. You need to have a conversation with your husband. Let him know what you know and how you feel about it but tell him it’s not your job to tell him what to do about it and you will trust him to make choices that are in the best interest of your marriage up and until you feel like he’s investing more of himself into his “friendship” with her then his “relationship” with you. He is not responsible for tip toeing around your jealousy issues :v:

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When we worked together, My husband was friends with women at work that i didn’t get along with and vice versa. No one ever hit on us because 1. We are ugly lol or 2. they respected our relationship or 3. We have bad attitudes lol. They bring him lunch and I’m like “Someone has to feed him.” Lol. We are not the jealous types.
On a serious note, there was one girl in particular that rubbed me the wrong way. One of his friends from school. There was an argument and I basically told him that I stopped talking to my BEST friend because he had a thing for me and I wouldn’t disrespect him like that. They no longer talk.

I dont care that my guy has female friends. I dont know much of them. But if I get a feeling about a particular one she is gone in a heartbeat. Every relationship is different.

No you are not wrong. Listen to what your gut instinct tells you. Been there… trust me.


Talk to your husband about how you are feeling. Always protect your marriage and your husband should do the same.

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Your feelings are valid regardless if right or wrong. You can’t help how you feel but you can make changes to find out why you feel that way. How did you find out about this friend? Has he been upfront from the beginning or did he hid it until you found out? Are they both willing to include you in whatever activities they do or conversations they have when asked? If he is completely upfront with you and has assured you he doesn’t have a “thing” for her, I wouldn’t worry. You don’t need to be able to trust her if you trust your husband. And sorry to say it but if something does happen between them, just remember he made his own choice and it’s not something that you not liking her or not being okay with could have prevented.

Yes you are, he can be friends with who he likes, how would you feel if he dictated who you could be friends with? I think you need to work on your self esteem and your trust in your husband


My husband had friends, male/female Before i came along. I would not force my friends to be friends to be friends with my husband. Insecurity is an ugly thing. ( jealousy)

I trust my husband because I’ve seen him get hit on by girls younger than me and very beautiful and he just blows them off. I know he didn’t know o was there. Girls around here want a man who has a great job and are mature. We worked together for almost 20 years for what we have and we both want to keep it with each other. So I trust my husband. I don’t have to trust the girls because he would make them go away if they tried anything.

Men and women can’t be friends. ~When Harry Met Sally

Watch it ^


My husband doesn’t have female friends I wouldn’t approve


There is only two kinds of people, male and female. Trust him to make friends with whomever he wants. Don’t you have male friends?

Um no, thats resonable and i would not put up with it if she has a thing for him at all

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I mean…feel how you feel girl. No one can tell you how you are feeling is wrong. The important part is to talk to your husband about it. Let him know how you are feeling and talk through any underlying issues.

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I feel it’s based on the type of conversation that they are having. If they are crossing the lines of platonic friends then it is a problem.

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Pretty sure he had friends before you…:woman_shrugging:t4: so…