Dude I agree with you! Say no!
Nope dnt make u a bad person at all.
No you’re not wrong at all !
You know she’s going right?
And then if that mother in law will die soon you will be crying as if you will miss her, because you cannot see her anymore,…
But now that she want to with you in a vacation you dont want her to go with? Lmao !
No. Its not really a vacation for you if she goes. I feel you.
No, it doesn’t make you a bad person. Unfortunately, since your MIL is trying to hijack your trip, either way, there will be drama. Knowing the way you feel, I doubt it would be much fun for you if she tags along.
No one can tell you how to feel. I would weigh the pros/cons and make a decision from there.
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If i were you i be embarrassed
Ask the hubs and daughters…if you are the only one who doesnt want her to go then you need to suck it up.
No you are not bad for that
No ur not wrong to feel that way
No…it’s what u want ur entitled 2 what u want
It does not make you a bad person!!
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Hell no. My ex husband had his whole gaggle of family tag along on vacation and it was miserable!!
I think you’re not thinking about who can watch your kids so you and your husband can have alone time. But hey, you do you. 
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No. You are not a bad person.
Your being selfish. Sounds like she just wants to spend time with her family. Or maybe she is lonely and doesn’t have anyone else to vacation with. What harm would it cause by letting her go? Plus having her there could give you and your husband a chance to enjoy an evening out while she stays with them in the room. You won’t regret letting your children create memories with their grandmother but you may regret not including her.
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It just a little family trip she will understand
I understand, I left my mom out of our Disney cruise but now that I lost her, I regret that decision. She would have had so much fun but it’s too late now.
It could be a blessing since your MIL could watch your girls if you and your husband want some quality time together.
I understand your need for alone time with your family but there’s no guarantee that your MIL will be around for years let alone next year.
If it’s a big vacation, take her. Take weekend getaways alone with your family.
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My husband is disabled so Ibcant have a holiday with out family and I would be very hurt if mine felt this way. Its a wonderful opportunity to get to know each other better. Also means you can dobsttuff with hubby and grandma can babysit. She won’t be around for ever.
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Nope not wrong. It’s ok to want a family vacation that is just your immediate little family only. I’ve gone on vacays where I invited my mom along and others where it was just me, my husband, and daughter. I find it odd that his mom just invited her damn self. I would never invite myself on someone else’s vacation no matter how close we are.
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Your allowed family time without extended family! This really annoys me, we often go out as a family and then we get oh you could have asked us, yes we could but we wanted time with OUR children alone! Don’t be made to feel bad, it’s your life!
I mean why don’t you want her to go? I love my mother-in-law so I don’t get why you wouldn’t want her there. If you love your husband you should love his mom. We took mine on a cruise. We both drank together and had more fun than I had with my husband. You never know you might build a bond with her on the trip of a lifetime
My mother in law hates me so therefore she doesn’t bother with my 3 kids they don’t even no her! I would love my kids to have a relationship with a loving nan defo take her 
I mean… it would give y’all a chance to do stuff without the kids… idk what the vacation consists of… but I would think she would come in handy… not saying pawn your kids off the whole time… but one night, just mom and dad going to do something kid free could be fun… when I was still with my exhusband, his family, we took a big trip together… we went to a waterpark and for the bigger rides, nanny stayed with the kids… then we had an adult only day, nanny stayed with the kids and they watched movies and ordered take out… she was so happy to be included, especially getting to spend time with her grand and great grand babies… life is short… you never know what will happen tomorrow… I’m thankful for the memories… I’d rather have a memory of taking a vacation with her than wishing I would have just let her come…
Depends on your MIL. If she’s going to be a built in babysitter like mine was…take her!!! I’ve always taken grandparents on vacation and its always weighed out in my favor in the end.
Can she handle the places you would want to go with your kids? Can she cover the added cost of accommodations? Surely she doesn’t expect to room with you & him, or want to room with the kids. If that’s the case, she might actually come in handy on a trip, like taking the kids to a show while you & he gamble in NV, or take a moonlit beach walk in Hawaii. It could work.
You’re not wrong. I don’t ask my son and his wife to take me anywhere with them. It’s their vacation, not mine.
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What people have to remember is that practically NOBODY went on vacation last year due to the pandemic. And, if you are like a lot of families, money is still tight. That being said, you are not a bad person for feeling that way. But, you are also missing out on an opportunity to share your family with someone who is expressing an interest in doing so. There will come a time when your own children will be faced with that choice. How will you feel when YOU are left out?
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I mean with kids it’d honestly make more sense for her to come. I’m sure you and your husband might want a dinner or 2 alone or to also have a good time. And grandmas just make trips so much better. They remember to bring everything and have patients.
Does MIL really want to “tag” along or is she downright lonely and needs to be with you, your hubby & her granddaughters? Perhaps there’s something going on with her physically she hasn’t shared? Please don’t look at this as her being selfish & imposing on your family time, after all, she could pass on and how will you feel if you’ve deprived her of this time with family?
I would love if my mother or my mother in law went with us on vacation, but every family dynamic is different.
Nope…totally good to want to have some time with just your family. Entertaining extras isn’t required.
We are going on vacation this summer… No extras invited!
What is the biggest reason for not wanting her ? Depending on where you go she could be an asset… watching the kids while you and hubby get some time alone.
If you don’t want her to go there’s nothing wrong with that. Tell your husband.
Dodoes she usually tag along on your vacays? Or is this your first family vacay?
Yous could comprise…maybe two small vacations instead of one big one? One with her and one just yous and your kids?
Some of these comments drive me up the wall. “They wont be around forever.” So that means you should have those people around ALL the time and with EVERY vacation you take?? Hell no. You need alone time and family time without other members being included. Bringing them along once in a while wont hurt but neither will saying no. If I go on a vacation I definitely wont take any family members. I can spend time with them without them tagging along.
My opinion is you go on holiday to get away from everyone
If your husband wants her to come along, let it be. If not, he can tell her no. Just wondering did she invite herself, because that is so rude.
What does your husband think?
Tell the idiot to go on her own vacation. These women bug me it’s like they are attracted to thier son’s fucken sickos.
Depends on what you’re reason is. Are you just being selfish?
No it doesnt. Sometimes you just want alone time with your own little family.
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Girl, that’s a babysitter take her!
No, stand your ground.
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My mother in law came with us. We got to have a whole day without the kids🤷🏻♀️
Take her. If she is good to you and likes you wht is the big deal.
Hell no it doesn’t. I wouldn’t want her to go either
Shoot id take her (well not mine cause shes nuts) thats like having a babysitter while on vacation…
I would have to meet her first to give my opinion 
No, just tell her no.
She could be of help.
Nope, I think that’s super weird. Obviously everyone has their own family dynamic but even my husband would be put off & laugh at the idea of his mom coming with us on our family vacation. If it was an open invitation to anyone on either side of the family, then sure. but our family is our own family separate from the other parts of the larger family. If something is just for us, no one would even think to ask to come. &Vice versa for the other branches of the extended family. I think it’s selfish for anyone to invite themselves on someone else’s vacation. It’s not a kids basketball game, it’s fucking vacation. Insane that you’re worried about being rude/selfish when that’s the exact thought I had about your MIL.
You have a babysitter
Shit take her. She can babysit while u and hubby enjoy some alone time 
Nope, it allows you to get away from the rat race and enjoy each other. Not every moment needs to be a golden memory moment and include extended family. I’d be ticked she invited herself. Everyone deserves the vacation they want and everyone could “not be here tomorrow” so spend the time with who you want.
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Why does she want to go? Is she lonely? Did she miss having this time with her son and family? Does she have some time she’d like to make up with her son or perhaps her grandkids? Does she compete with you, want to take over? Find out what it is before you say no.
I took my mom on a European vacation with my kids. At the time, I often wished I had that time with just my kids. But my mom is dead now — I am so glad I had that time with her snd that my kids did, too. We had time to relationship build. Worth it.
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No you’re not wrong for feeling that way but you also have to examine what role she plays in your life every other day. If she’s a buttinsky and you’re not really comfortable with her I would say definitely not. If you rely on her to babysit and help you out just with life in general then maybe you should try to think of another way to take her with. Maybe have her meet you halfway through the vacation or maybe do a weekend thing with Grandma. Good luck to you.
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I would never impose on my kids vacation with their immediate families. Sometimes we are invited and sometimes we are not. And sometimes we go and sometimes we don’t. I don’t understand parents who impose their will on their adult children.
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Not at all. Small family vacations are important. Bigger vacations can be planned and extended out to other family members, but that should be planned ahead of time with all parties consenting.
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It really depends on the relationship you have with her. My MIL would never have come on a holiday with our family because my husband said often she just made my more work for me, but he often invited my mother because she just always lightens the load on everyone around her and family trips way more fun. My mum is all about how to help everyone around her have a good time whereas even my hubby said his own mother only ever cared about herself having a good time. Having said all that we sometimes still went on holidays with just our kids too and no one batted an eye at that.
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If it’s a family vacation then she can stay home. Shouldn’t feel guilty about it.
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Yes she is family one day she wont be there is she loving zlone😥
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The last holiday my parents had with my nan, they were so drained because it’s hard to spend time around an older parent who may slow down your activities. I can tell you now she’s gone though, that my mum looks back on that holiday so fondly and the time they shared together. There will always be more holidays for just the two of them.
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The real question is. Does she respect you.? Or is she just horning in to dominate the trip…to impose herself between you and your husband.
her relationship with you is the key component here…I would NEVER have my mil vacation with us. EVER…she hated me. Said awful things about me all the time. Insisted on talking to her son in POLISH BECAUSE that would exclude me from all conversstion…He loved me and my two girls…he even adopted them…she couldn’t accept them she told my husband " when you divorce her you’ll end up paying support for kids that aren’t yours. … even her last will and testament she reached out from the grave to reject them. PER STIRPES was the verbiage chosen if hubby predeceased her…That was how much contempt she had. …my kids didn’t need her or her things…my husband did a FANTASTIC job of setting our kids up with whatever they NEEDED…( not wanted) taught them hard work principles…prepared them to take care of their own futures . Inherited stuff isn’t even in their vocabulary.
.our kids are 47 & 48 yrs old this yr. And doin fine! Without grandma vacations!
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I’m very lucky. I’ve vacationed with my kids & with the grandkids. If not for that I would never have gone to Greece or Mexico, my daughter’s family were in a wedding in Greece & granddaughter was 11 months old. She stayed in my room giving my daughter & husband a break. It wasn’t a walk in the park because I had a fractured ankle but the “nanny” help was appreciated. Although I have If she doesn’t live with them it’s not necessary to bring her along, but if she does that might need so thinking.
Just a quick note though life is short I was 21 when I lost my mom just 1 1/2 months after I asked her to go on vacation with me, we took the train from NJ to FL over Thanksgiving week & visited my grandfather on my dad’s side.
This really depends on family dynamics, relaultionship between the parties & where they are going.
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If it were me, I’d feel guilty for leaving her behind. Unless she is only going to upset you, then take her along. She can help out if your kids are small, and think of the memories your kids will have of her when she’s gone.
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No you’re not wrong for feeling that way and just wanting your immediate family time.
HOWEVER, it could be a bonus that shes there? She could watch the kids one night while you and your hubby can venture off and explore, maybe have dinner? Use it to your advantage!
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Take her along. She may be lonely. She might not always be there. Be kind - she is your husband’s mother! Your children’s grandmother. And maybe she would stay with the kids and you and hubby could have a nice evening out alone.
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I don’t think it’s wrong. People keep saying the mother in law won’t be here one day. Well I’m sorry to say that holds true for any of us. You go and make your memories with your husband and daughters. In God’s word he says we are not promised tomorrow. I speak from experience that I lost my own mother when I was 18. So I know what it is to make memories with just your family. I know there will be other trips for her to tag a long. God bless you and have a great Mother’s Day!
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I completely understand! Sometimes it’s so nice to only have you your spouse and kids take a vacation! The memories are worth it! I would tell her y’all will take another trip with her but this is important to you… but the plus side of taking her is you have a baby sitter and can get her to watch the them so you and hubby can have a date night 
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Idk I feel like I would bring her with us because I know we won’t have much time to enjoy her. I enjoy my parents every chance we get as well as my hubbys parents. They’re only getting older and soon they won’t be with us anymore. I want my kids to have great memories of them
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She won’t be around for ever. Also if you and your husband want to take a night out together then having her there could be helpful.
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My son and daughter-in-law include me in lots of their activities. I have gone on several beach vacations. They take me riding in the mountains, and out to eat. They cook for me a lot. They help me in my yard. I would never want to impose on them. I do really appreciate the extra things they include me in.
Being by your self gets really lonely.
Maybe take her for a night somewhere. I bet that would make her happy.
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You are not wrong. I will never ever go on vacation with my mother in law or brother in law again. The point of a vacation is to relax and enjoy yourself so if having your mother in law is just going to impede that then say no. It really depends on how your husband feels too though and it should be discussed and considered carefully
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Yes. You are t h e only one who understands the dynamics of your relationship with your mother-in-law. If you are uncomfortable with your decision and have ask social media for affirmation, then it’s the wrong.
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Nope, I refuse to have my husband’s mom vacation with us because of the extra drama
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My husband and I took my mom on several vacations with us. I ended up being slpit between her and my children. I loved her, but wished I would have left her home.
I see both sides. Most of us elders just want to watch our families enjoy each other. I would not be able to travel alone due to some health issues. After being closed up for over a year we are all starving for family time. Having said that, my husband and I once took my grandmother to the beach at her request. We were there for about an hour and she was ready to go home which was 90 minutes away. She was hot. So, if she will put a damper on your vacation find a way for her to stay home or only spend a weekend. If not, bring her and maybe put in boundaries.
Well … your daughters are watching! Before you know it… in a really short time “you” will be the one looking in… trust me… change your view… impress your daughters with your kindness and love… what goes around really does come around…
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Everyone is entitled to their feelings, but you should ask yourself why you feel that way, what is realistic, will your relationships benefit from sucking it up and having a good time all together?
I know, for me, I’d love my kids to get to experience the world with as much loved ones as possible. The more the merrier!
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Nope you aren’t wrong. Family vacations are a break and you get to decide who goes with you. You are allowed to enjoy your kids while they are young without other people. Bonding with your kids as parents without other family members is important too
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no but if she’s on her own maybe invite her to a bigger family holiday or get together as being alone sucks
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One day she won’t be here to go… I miss my mother in law everyday… think about it
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No, you need to make memories with just your girls, but if grandma tags along, it’s a baby sitter for a free night out, and someone to share expenses. I do the same with my daughter’s family. Sometimes I go, and sometimes I stay.
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Not wrong for feeling that way and being a little disappointed but it’s probably not worth it to try to get her to not tag along. It would cause more trouble than it’s worth. Just make sure to get family pics with her in it and some without her 
Schedule a second much shorter vacation & include her then. But, this one, no.
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I wish I still had my MIL on this planet to love and spoil and spend time with. I miss her every day and WISH I could take her on vacation. We never know when it will be our last day, make the most of each one.
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I use to take my mom and when I look back I don’t regret it and neither does my husband. Wish she were here to take a vacation with now. You can’t turn back the clock.
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Why would she invite herself? No, if you wanted her to be there, you would’ve asked her. Just stand your ground. It is my sincere hope that your husband will be supportive.
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My husband was adopted, when we found his birth mom she was such a blessing to us. Had an alright relationship with his adopted parents, but would have loved to spend more time with his real mom.
See what he would say if you told him to take his Mother on vacation by himself.
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My husband loved it, my mum was a terrific Person she look after my boy and we went of, and had a good time
No it’s a family thing, I totally understand she’s family but your own little family you both started together. It would make sense to me why you would only want to go with them without her tagging along. I wouldn’t want my mom going on my vacation with me my hubby and daughter. That’s me tho, I don’t talk to my mom and i don’t see my mother in law often to be able to want to do that.
I don’t know your situation or relationship, but how often does she get to see her son and your daughters? She gave him to you, but never forget that she loved him first and longest. Won’t you want to still be included in your kids lives after they make families of their own?
Y not, if she helps at home whats the chance you may need her while your there. She may go off on her own knowing you are all fine and will be there when she gets back, no harm in that.
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Not at all!
I understand grandparents want to be in the children’s lives, but they also need to realize we want to do things with OUR family.
My MIL passed several years ago and never got to meet our 4 boys. I miss her so much and know that these boys of mine would be spoiled rotten if she were still here. My grandparents all died when I was very young and I wish I had more memories of them. Take your MIL.