Sharing is not taking from someone to give to someone else. That is communism. Lol…Sharing is allowing a friend to play with toys that your son is not currently playing with. Now if your son is playing Legos and cousin goes to play blocks and your son takes issue that is different… he wasn’t playing with blocks so of course he needs to not be selfish. It’s a valuable lesson. Also if he has specific toys he is attached to like a bear/blanket I would put those away so when friends are over to not cause an issue and be sure they are not damaged etc. when they are younger it is easy to divert and avoid these situations… there are kids that will take items from others no matter what. That child is the one that needs to learn to take turns. I always say, when he is done playing with it he will set it down and you can play with it. It always happens relatively fast too. Kids get bored easy
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I wrong for not telling my so to share?
Kids have to learn patience. It is easy to tell a child to share, but we also have to tell a child they have to be patient and wait their turn. Should he learn to share? Absolutely! Should he have to give something up every time someone wants it? No, that is not how life works!
Let him know it is nice to share but he does not always have to. There’s a good episode of Daniel
tiger about sharing
Um no, the cuz needs to learn to NOT take things from someone if they’re playing with it. He needs to learn you don’t take things and you don’t always get your way
We have 3 children and sharing is always something we work on. We have gotten to the point that we love our girls to share their items but they also need to understand that sometimes one wants to spend more time with a certain item and that is perfectly fine! So, you are doing what most parents need to do. Let the other child know that they can take turns and play together, but they do not get to demand when they receive the toy that the other one has.
I feel like there’s a fine line for these lessons. I taught my son to share, but I also taught him some toys can be special and he can put them away when friends visit and that’s ok. So some things like his Lego he’s happy to share 1 day and the next he’ll not want to and that fine. We just don’t pull the box out to play with. Out of sight, out of mind. At 3 he didn’t like sharing his toy story toys so we’d put them up and away while friends were over.
He’s 6 now and shares pretty much everything.
I teach my two boys about sharing. But they also both know they need to be patient. They each also have “certain” toys that are just their, they don’t have to share them. Also, as bad as it sounds, your son will have to figure out his own way to handle it also eventually. You can’t butt into every fight/argument/issue he has. Have you spoken to the mom of the other child about your feelings?
Sharing is caring. Boundaries are also something that NEEDS to be taught at an early age. When you take something out of a child’s hand or make them give ot to someone, you are teaching them that what they want is not important because someone else wants it.
Sharing is not caring and I hate that phrase as they think it gives them the right to take while saying sharing is caring:rage: no! You’re not sharing, you’re waiting your turn. Simple. You tell the cousin in front of your child so they both understand the rules, you do not take from each other. It’s rude and upsetting for the other person. You let them know you would like to play with it then wait until they’re done then you can play with it. There are children who will take advantage of that and hold on to something all day on purpose but you know your child well enough to say xx will have it for another 5/10 minutes then you can swap, and do that
No I don’t make my kids share. As an adult do you share your phone? Your car? Laptop? Debit card? No you don’t so why would I make my kid share their favorite things they’re currently using? Now if it’s not being used it’s fair game. I also do not expect any parent to make their child share with mine.
Ihe doesnt have to share everything as long as cuz has something its ok
It’s important for you to let him know to wait his turn on the slide at the park, or to bring a snack for everyone at school, or share the toys at the bookstore in the kids section etc. But when it comes to his own toys you should let him sort it out with his friends/cousin. He will learn that if he doesn’t share his toys that he won’t have anyone to play with but he will also learn he can offer a truck to cousin and that’s fair and sharing but he doesn’t have to give him your son’s favorite truck either.
Kids really don’t learn the concept of sharing until they’re 4 years old. Still teach him but be patient.
I taught preschool. One of the things we used to do in that situation is tell the child with the toys “he would like to play too. You can play with them for a little bit longer, and then maybe if you want, give one to him so you can both play together” and it almost always worked. It taught both patience and sharing, and it also gave them choices because we never told them they HAD to share, we told them they could.
This is a tough one. My son is 2 and my nephew is 4 so we deal with the quite frequently. There’s a fine line between learning to share and setting boundaries for when they are trying to take something that the other is playing with. We usually try the whole “take turns” method.
With this situation. I’d teach the cousin that he cant just take toys from your son. He can find something else to play with and when your son sits down said toy, then he can play with it. Its not right that he just takes it. Kids can be something else sometimes. But they will only do whats there allowed to. I’d have a talk with the sister too, she needs to understand the boundaries. If both of you are in the same page, it’ll be a lot easier to work on the issue.
Sharing is good but they shouldn’t have to give up what they are playing with because another child has no patience, they dont HAVE to share everything… that starts i get what I want when I sook behaviour from the cousin.
Ok imagine that scenario but it’s you and your sister. Imagine shes playing on her phone and you went up to her and were like “I want a turn! Gimme it’s my turn! You have to share” and keep grabbing it out of her hand she’d probably think you were being ridiculous and rude and tell you she doesn’t have to give you her phone because it’s hers. Why do people think it’s different for kids. I don’t get the point in raising kids to think they’re entitled to take and touch whatever without permission.
Sharing is important. Boundaries are also important. I don’t make my daughter share all of her toys she has certain ones I just let her know if she wants to play with it around other kids she has to share, if she doesn’t want to share she can put it up and get it back out when they leave. It’s her choice.
As for me what your sister do is the best concept, your son needs to know that he should share everything even if he doesn’t want, but it’s for you to direct him in life it’s like today you have your favourite things that you want to use alone but tomorrow you might not have and the next person has it,and then you would want to use their things but just because you wouldn’t share yours it’s difficult for you to ask…so it’s very early teach him the most important aspects of life that is to say " Thank you"
“Please” and sharing
You’re not creating bad habits. Yes, it’s nice to share, and if your son has a pile of toys, and his cousin wants to play, enforce the sharing. But he isn’t required to share. That’s like us being adults… I’m not required to share my TV, my video game, my clothes, make up etc with anyone. Those things are MINE. Yes, it’s polite for me to share the remote if I have company, but it’s not a law. What I would suggest is enforcing ASKING above all else. I understand that they’re three, but as they grow, they’re not just gonna walk up to some random child in the park, sit down and start playing with their toy trucks. Or walk up to someone and just stick their hand in someone else bag of chips and take a handful. I think teaching consent and permission is more important than teaching sharing. Also, understanding what yes means and what no means. Not to mention, children have their “favorite thing” which they should never be forced to hand over to someone else.
This is a boundary issue with the sister/cousin. By sister taking all the toys out of your childs hands and redistributing the wealth, so to speak…she is teaching her son he can take things out of peoples hands and his mother will reinforce his behavior because now they are both taking things from your sons hands… neither of them are respecting boundaries. You can teach your child to share all day long…they are still going to take things out of his hands. Your child is not the problem.
You’re absolutely correct about how as adults we have boundaries. No grown person would walk up to someone who has something they want and demand they share it with them, and a third adult would never force them to. Instead of teaching sharing, we tell my kids something along the lines of “when you’re done playing with that someone else would like a turn” so they’re still technically sharing but their boundaries and their consent are being respected
It’s their age and matching sex. Trust me if that was a boy girl mix it would be fine. This coming from a mama of 4 girls (the first 2 are 13 months appart) they fight like the devil cause they all want the same thing it’s either multiple.items now in my house sharing or seperate
Having things snatched from your hands isn’t sharing.
Talk with your sister and figure out what she wants for her kid - being the toy Snatcher kids mom sounds stressful.
Teaching your son to share is nice. But he doesn’t need to share with kids who would steal the toys anyway.
No, I do not make my son(4) share his favorite things… sometimes I may put them up until we don’t have company
He doesn’t have to share all the time if he doesn’t want to. My kids are close in age and while I encouraged sharing I also supported them when they didn’t want to share. They are allowed to play with their toys by themselves if they want to.
Your raising them to be functional adults. If an adult has 2 hands full of money and I want 1 handful I can’t just take it. I have to find my own source.
Ehhhh. I guess it kind of depends? If your kid is playing with cars (for example)…is he playing with all of the cars (or trains or dinos) and not sharing? Or is your nephew wanting that one specific car that’s in your kids hands?
If it’s all of the cars your child Is playing with them you are definitely in the wrong for not teaching him to share.
No kid needs all the cars to themselves.
I tell my kids (they’re 8 and 4 now) if theres more than 2 of any type of toy then there’s enough to share. If they can’t share they can’t play.
If it’s the one specifically in your son’s hand then no, you’re not particularly wrong.
But I would pay close attention here.
Ive seen where my oldest will go to get a car and my youngest will all of a sudden just have to have that one.
Or where my youngest wants to play too and my oldest will tell him no about all of the cars even though the youngest isn’t actually going for the one in the oldest hand.
He shouldn’t have to share a toy he is playing with, your nephew/sister may play with a different toy your son isn’t playing with but they may not take a toy out of his hand that he is enjoying. Yes sharing is nice but it’s not required and children usually will eventually learn to share on their own but your sister is creating a bad habit for your nephew because he’s going to grow up thinking he can take things for ppl whenever he wants or that they are obligated to share with him and he they won’t he’s going to start throwing fits to get his way. Talk to your sister and set boundaries
Also they are 3, your nephew may ask your son if he can play with it and if he’s enjoying it let your son inform him he may play with the toy when he is done playing with it so he may wait his turn.
Do not force him to share. I always teach my children they can pass off whatever they have when they’re done with it.
Taking turns doesn’t happen with kids. When a kid is done and wants to give it up, that’s when he/she can
you’re not wrong at all, you’re setting boundaries. next time tell your nephew/sister that your son is playing with it right now but when he’s done then he can have it. sharing is nice but i’m not going to take a toy from my kid just because the other kids are too impatient and are used to getting their way… it’s just creating bad habits for them because they cry when they don’t get their way and then their parents always always give in teaching them it’s okay to act that way.
Imma tells ya what I tell my kiddos. If you don’t want to share put it up when we have company.
I am the horrible mom who doesn’t force my child to share. I ask my child if she wants to share and she says no then that is her choice. In return, I also do not expect others to share with her and I will remind her when someone doesn’t want to share with her that their choice is no different than when she made the choice not to share and it is respected.
He shouldn’t have to share if he doesn’t want to share. If he is playing with something, just bc another kid wants it doesn’t mean he should give it up.
You’re correct!! I deal with it too… My husband comes from a huge family so my son now has like 20 cousins, I’ve ALWAYS told my son he doesn’t have to share EVERYTHING it used to be a fight in our relationship because in his family the kids should just share everything… He now understands where I’m coming from and why. And he no longer fights it. Explain yourself, stand your ground.
Set boundries if they dont abide by them everything goes away simple
No. They are his toys and he doesn’t have to share them. It’s not wrong. The idea that kids must share their things when adults can say no that is mine, is just bizarre.
He’s only 3 and kids that age don’t usually willingly share their favorite toys… You don’t need to “teach” him to share but his pre-k/kinder teacher will (unless of course you home school) and your son will cry and throw a tantrum then.
I say take turns, I have neices too I make them all share after they’d been playing with somthing for a while but not every single thing he’s playing with, they always want what the other has lol
You could always keep his fav toys away wen u have visitors or just pokitly say you need to wait your turn or why don’t u play with it togeather but if u don’t want him to share his fav things then put them away while u have visitors and just keep the otyer toys out
We don’t always share in our home. We usually say well you can have a turn when he’s done. Unless like others stated THERE’S multiple and your sons hoarding them all. Then yeah he should have to share
If it’s my daughter’s favorite or something I will tell her she can play a few more mins then she needs to share and can play with it again once the other child is done.
Set a timer and teach both kids turn taking. Or put his precious toys away when company comes over and get out the toy’s that are more cooperative play, he can play with his favourite toys when he’s alone, when people come over you all play together. You also see posts here about my son crys because my sisters kids don’t share, she doesn’t make them, he’s to little to understand why he’s left out, I’m not going round there anymore because he just crys and gets bored. And every one says “aw! That’s not fair to your little one, talk to your sister about sharing and turn taking!” It’s 6 of one and half dozen of the other!
If my daughter didn’t want to share at 4 or 5 I can’t remember then she couldn’t be on the play date they would leave or we would. That usually just enabled both kids to stop bickering about everything. I come from a huge family but she wasn’t put in a position to have to share much until later on when she understood. She now shares with younger kids with ease knowing they will soon loose interest and that bc they are younger they don’t know how to share yet.
no i never made my kids share their fav, things in my eyes just like adults there is certian things u dont want ppl to mess with its urs he shouldnt have to give up his fav things
Yeah we’re confusing the meaning of the word “sharing”— to truly share, it does not mean your child must deprive themselves of the item and joy
Associated with playing with it. For another child to stand there demanding the item, and you forcing your child to give the item up to them, you’re literally reinforcing and rewarding bullying behavior. No, if my child doesn’t want to willing give a toy to another child, we will not be participating in this thing called “sharing” period.
My son and niece are born 4 days apart (she’s older than him) and everytime she comes over here she touches everything he has and makes a mess but I equate it to he has more things at his disposal than she does so she gets excited and goes through everything. He hides the things he doesn’t want her to touch before she comes over now and they are 5 lol
That’s how it is in my house too. You don’t take something someone else is playing with. Esp if you only want it because you see them with it. My kids are 1,3&8
In my opinion no you don’t have to force him to share but you should keep his favorite toys somewhere else when your sister and your niece are coming over for there’s no issues over it.
You may have to ask your sister to have a little chat with her son about snatching cause my son was also like that & i told him the older he gets & if he’s mean no one will ever want to play with you so be nice & share or it gets put up.
I don’t make mine share if she’s happy but I also redirect if another starts playing with it and she kicks off
I tell her brothers to not give in but if they try keep her toy from her they are asked to return it
You are not wrong, your child shares willingly like you said, but if he’s playing with something and his cousin is taking it from him he’s the problem.
Not wrong at all. My daughter is an only child and if she’s playing with something I don’t make her give it to another child. When she’s done with it then they can play with whatever it is. I’ve never understood the whole thing with making kids share something when they’re playing with it and another kid just wants it. As an adult, if I’m playing something on my XBox One I’m sure not going to stop playing just because someone wants it. We’re not expected to do this as adults, so I’ve never understood why kids are. It just doesn’t make sense to me.
Talk to your sister about a favorite toy plan to help ease the scenario. Have both kids have there own favorite toy thats special to them, and if it gets to be too much they can put it up until later.
Showing them how to do trades with what they have In The moment they take from eachother can ease the issue, try not to over react and let them handle with eachother.
When I color with my son he use to want to take every color from my hand. But then get mad bc I wasn’t coloring anymore
So started to “trade” colors. It’s worked in ways of sharing other things too. I’ve started to see him take a toy he had in his own hands and give to other kids and take what was in theirs. It usually isn’t a huge issue and the kids are happy as long as they still have something. If the other kids mad mad about the trade off, he just calmly let’s it go n moves on. This reaction is bc his adults are just calm n chill. Remember to keep a chill, its not an issue atitude. Kids are good at figuring out how to get along to play with out a lot of interruption in that way.
I also thinks its important to set aside the favorite things if needed. That really helps the ease of play with other toys n things
I have 2 close in age at home and they fight like crazy over items and sharing. I’m a in 5 minutes you can play with it for 5 minutes (it’s not always 5 minutes sometimes it’s more or less) that way they are both sharing. Or even ask…as they got a bit older I would as the older one if the younger one could play with whatever toy. And if he said No I would tell the younger one you can play with it when he is done playing with it. You have to find a middle ground because he will be easily bullied if you continue to let someone else take their things away all the time and the other will be a bully.
Ugh. This is a hard one because I can see both ways. I probably wouldn’t take anything out of my kids hands or let another kid take anything out of his hands. As long as there are other toys for the other kids to play with, I’d just let your son keep on playing with the toys he has in his hands.
So our goal is to teach kids to be successful adults right? (Among other things of course) so with that goal in mind let’s consider the end goal/ bigger picture and adults absolutely do NOT “share” like that at all. That’s not real life. You’re a great mom and doing the right thing. The next step for you is to establish firm boundaries and expectations for your son (from other people!) about this concept of sharing. So for example I would firmly explain to the adult and child in the scenario what your expectations/boundaries are (dear child if you’d like x you you may ask for it and then wait and when my son is done playing with it then you can have it. Right now you can play with x,y,z. And explain to the adult that you will not allow anyone adult or child to take toys from your son.) Then also explain to your son what’s going on so he knows he can stand up for himself in these situations.
I put up their favorite toys when they have company and return to them after visit. I will guide the interaction if my child is having difficulty and the other parent doesn’t step in.
After my child will be done playing with it yes she knows to share.This is what it will be like in school.If your child is playing with something he really likes a teacher will let your child play with it obviously but then it will be someone else’s turn.The teacher wont say ‘oh give it to child 2 when your done’ becouse he might never be done.
Danielle Vaught we were just talking about this yesterday!!
I agree i always taught all 5 of my kids and still teach the grandkids to share unless its your favorite toy if its your special favorite one you do not have to
Its good to share. Maybe teach them both to share. Let his lil Cuzzo know that its not ok to take things away from his friends and when its his turn he will get to play with said toy. So your son knows too that he doesn’t have to just give things up when its taken out of his hand…I went through this when mine were younger. They are about 15 months apart…and the oldest wanted everything the younger picked up. Would instantly drop what she had, even if he just gave it to her and choose something else. She had a difficult time as she was still baby too, id be sitting with two on my lap all the time at feeding and everything…I didn’t want her to feel pushed out but she had to know she had to share too…even me…lol.
They both should learn to share. His cousin shouldn’t be taking what he is playing with to an extent I think. But they both should learn to share.
I always taught my children to share and from that, they’ve grown into adult women who have charitable hearts and aren’t selfish.
Typical kids. Just be matter of fact about it and explain your son is playing with that right now and get another toy for nephew. Not a big deal really. FYI-this will go on for many years yet so don’t stress about it too much😊
You asked for advice as to why to do…
Just calmly tell the cousin that your son is still playing with it and direct him to another toy and tell him he can have a turn to play with it a bit later.
If your sister doesn’t like it, then grab a toy from him (her son) when he’s playing with it, and see if he likes it.
I think we as adults try to control to muxh.let it slide see how your son handles it make your sister do the same.its always been my expirience the adults get there panties in a twist and end up arguing and the kids have done forgot about the toy and are on to the next thing to explore.
Sharing is one thing but we don’t like grabbing from one another my older kids know to ask each other to play with their toys if they say no well guess it’s a no. If someone came up to me and pulled something out of my hands and told me to share I would be mad.
Sharing is a good trait to learn but so are strong healthy boundaries. You’re on the right path mama. I personally don’t make my kids share everything because as adults we don’t. There are things that are special to them that they should be allowed to keep just to themselves.
I do not make my kids share their favorite or new things with their cousins I do make them share older toys that they have had for awhile
Sharing in general, yes. Like if they have a little friend over they inevitably have to share their toys. But! If they are actively playing with a certain toy then no. I wouldn’t want someone to take something out of my hands that I was actively using, I wouldn’t expect a young person to like this either. In that specific age group that your talking about is very common for some kids to only want to play with what another child is playing with even if they have 50 dissent options. Redirection is the best option for both children’s sales.
Sharing is healthy, however so are boundaries. And your sister needs to keep her hands to herself unless she’s willing to let you snatch toys from HER child too.
No you are not wrong. If we are at my cousin’s house playing and one of their kids doesn’t want to share I will tell my son not to take it from them. And it should be the other way around. And your sister has no right to take form your son to give to hers. Need to let her know that you will handle your own child.
No, because in the real world life isn’t always fair and your not gonna get what you want all the time as an adult but don’t expect other children to share with your son either.
That’s not sharing. Its giving. I’ve had this type of situation several times over with my kids. Sharing is 2 sided. You play with my toy while I play with yours type of thing. What your sister is expecting of your son is for him to give his toys to his cousin. Then when he does he steals it. If it causes a fight your sister steps in & steals from your son. If she keeps allowing this he will become an adult who thinks it’s perfectly fine to steal from others. “As long as I give it back it’s not stealing " BLLSHT!!! Taking without the owners permission is stealing whether you return it on your terms or not. Put your foot down with them both. When they come over tell your nephew we have new rules for fairness. You can play with toys that my son isn’t playing with but you can not take toys from him.” Then when he does it tell him “remember the rule? You can’t take toys from xxxx” & give it back to your son. When your sister steps in tell her it’s unfair to your son that her son takes every toy he plays with & you’re not going to teach your child that it’s ok to be treated that way. There’s plenty other toys he can play with. If she doesn’t like that they can leave. Shell get mad. Stand your ground. If you don’t they will continue this behavior for years to come & your son will learn that’s how he’s supposed to be treated.
We also used to do “toy holds”. If 1 has to go to the bathroom or something they can say I’m coming back to play with these blocks. Please don’t mess with them. Or give a toy to an adult to hold for them to come back to.
When you know another child is coming over is hide special toys. I did this when I babysat. The problem was the little girl was a snoop & would go through everything. She’d bring me stuff out of my crawl space (it was attached to my son’s room, weird house). Some kids are trained to be pains. She caused her mom to loose a free babysitter & cost her a lot of money.
Sharing is not taking! A lot of new parents seem to not realize/get this. My youngest was like this. He’d be playing with something at the library and another child would demand he “share” it or they’d even just straight up take it from him. Except he has autism and it was hard for him to swivel on a dime like that and it’d cause s lot of upset. Got us a lot of huffing and puffing from others. But if a kid has something first, the next kid may need to wait a moment. And that’s ok. Patience is just as necessary of a social skill to learn as sharing. Simply demanding one share a thing doesn’t mean it has to happen immediately, if at all. Boundaries and saying “no” is also needed. I don’t think most adults think too hard about the situation and just yell at kids to “share” without properly modeling what sharing actually looks like.
Ok so I’m a mom and have years of experience as a preschool teacher. I have never encouraged my children to share. But I do encourage children to take turns. Because taking turns also teaches children to share but on their terms. You can ask your son if cousin can play with it when he’s done. Or you can tell him to please give cousin the toy when he’s done. Or you can get a timer and say you are setting the timer for 5 minutes and then it’s cousins turn. Ask your son how many minutes u til cousins turn and he will answer you. Then tell him to tell cousin- 5 more minutes. And then when the timer sings he knows it’s time for cousins turn- then repeat.
I mean… if you are playing on your phone and your cousin walks up and wants it the answer is gonna be no. Lol sharing is kinda weird that way lol I explain it is nice to do and that if they had a toy you didn’t it would be nice for them to share with you but I don’t force it because I lead by example and I dont really share? Lol except with my kids which isnt really by choice
When mine were little they were told when someone was coming over. I told them if you have something you don’t want to share put it in closet. The other toys were to be shared. The child that has it first UNTIL it is put down has that toy when you lay it down it is up for grabs
I didn’t make my daughter share at the moment she was playing with it but if she walked away no longer interested until someone else was then that is a teaching moment
kids have to wait there turn so when ur nephew wants it u can tell him when your son is finished with it.it’s a bondrie for when there older
No you’re not wrong at all you did teach your son to share you stated he knows how willingly BUT only if he wants to he is not obligated to share his things with his cousin if he does not want too those are his things his cousins parent should be bringing things her their child to play with
I always told my son y you need to share A you, but not THAT toy. I would tell him to help the other kid pick a fun toy.
I also would put his absolute favorites away when other kids came so they wouldn’t get broken.
Sharing is a wonderful thing to learn. So is patience.
If a child wants to play together …thats sharing.
If a child demands or takes something that someone else is playing quietly with…thats not. It kind of makes him a bully tbh and he would be made to give it back.
I’m sure there are plenty toys available for the cousin to play with or he could bring his own
Some things are to be shared some things are for others and some things are just for you, if its his toy then he shouldn’t have to share, the other child should learn to be patient and not snatch this is what I teach my children
Best thing I can tell you is to have him gather up all his favorites that he doesn’t want to share and put them up before friends or cousins come over to play.
Nope I don’t make kids share. I do make kids wait their turn. It has proven to help on both ends. The one waiting learns patience and the one not wanting to share eventually learns empathy and caring attitudes once they realize sometimes its good feeling to share.
I don’t make my kids share. I used to, but then I realized that’s not a realistic life lesson. As you said, adults have boundaries, and kids should be afforded the same. If my child wants to share they can, but it isn’t forced. They have to take turns but not necessarily share. Some things are specifically theirs and they do not have to take turns or share. I want them to know it is ok to say no, you do not have to give in and allow someone to take something you don’t want him/her to.
You are absolutely right not to make him share in this situation…your sister needs to step in and teach her son not to take.
Sounds like both children need to learn how to share and take turns but if there are toys he don’t like sharing then they shouldn’t be out when any other children are around
Sharing is not the same as giving up the toy he’s directly playing with.
I dunno why people are so “you need to share!” At times, yes. But no dude, not always. Definitely not when your child is playing quietly with his favorite stuff. I don’t make my human share, sometimes but rarely like at a park or something if some kid is like “I want that” I leave it up to my kiddo.
I do not force my kids to share ever. There natural consequences as they get older if they don’t share but you say he knows how when he wants to so I wouldn’t worry
My opinion, your in the right 100% & your sister is completely wrong. Yes, it’s good to teach kids to share. BUT, they also need to learn how to stand up for themselves and set boundaries. Something physically IN his hand, doesn’t need to be given up to his cousin just cause he wants it. His cousin needs to learn what waiting his turn means. Not that when he wants something, he just takes it. That’s a horrible habit to start him on. But I agree with you, as adults we have our own boundaries on what we wanna share and everything so why can’t kids? I’ve recently come to a point where I tell my kids before other kids are coming over to gather up any of their special favorite toys they don’t want touched or broken or anything and we put them away in my closet till everyone leaves. So now, they don’t have to be upset about their favorite toys or risk something happening, but they also get to be nice and share because now what’s available isn’t so meaningful to them. I honestly would be saying something to my sister because if she wasn’t gonna correct her kid, I would be. You’re not gonna bring your child here to get to treat my child who LIVES here any way he wants to. And I especially wouldn’t be taking things off your child to split up when your child was playing unbothered and it all was because her kid demanded he have one. I know they’re 3, but she’s creating horrible habits that are only gonna be worse when he gets into preschool or kindergarten. The teacher won’t be handing over anything or taking things from other kids for him, so he’s gonna have a hard lesson to learn then if someone doesn’t teach him NOW.
I don’t make my daughter share either. If she’s playing with something, whoever is playing with her, can find another toy, until she’s done.
I’ve never made my kids share anything that belongs to them. Even with their siblings it’s always their choice. I as an adult have the choice to share or not so it shouldn’t be any different for my kids