Babysit a toddler for a week the discuss it… he may change his mind then!
No you’re not selfish. Is he having a midlife crisis?
If you don’t want it you don’t have it. It’s your body and a child should be a joint decision. Also. Who is going to be expected to raise the child at home? Is he planning to be a stay at home dad?
I had my second daughter when I was 39. I got gestational diabetes and gestational hypertension. I think you should consider the possibility of having a difficult pregnancy because if the age… Of course, some women have no problems at all, but for me it sucked. No more kids for me after that.
No. It’s your body it’s you who has to carry it for 9 months. If you don’t want any more don’t feel pressured. Xx
He has baby fever have him watch a toddler with an attitude it will change his mind remembering all the toddler moods. But I got 5 and fixed.and have been wanting another, my son is going to be 4 … i just love kids. As much as I would welcome another 5 is a good number to stop. The last has such an attitude and gets in a mood of a teen.haha
Don’t feel selfish it’s your body not his. I know how you feel. My husband wants more but I have 5 and it’s harder the older I get so no more I have put my foot down and said no! I truly don’t think my body could handle going thru another pregnancy again. my oldest is 16 youngest almost 2. I’m getting my tubes done.
No not selfish at all ive had my last at 32 and it has drained me, my pregnancy I was constantly ill. I also have a 14,12,8 and 7 year old aswell as my 8 month old. I’m certain I don’t want anymore and going for a sterilisation luckily enough my partner is supportive and agrees with my decision.
It’s your body your decision
I had my last one at 39. I know some people that are 47 with 4 year olds. It’s about what you feel you can handle.
Don’t, it’s your body it’s also your life afterwards. Agree with the above leave him with a toddler. I’m a grandparent they are exhausting
No of course your not selfish, it’s your body so if you dont want another baby then he needs to respect your decision x
For one u are not to old physically but emotionally you could be done. Just tell him to wait for grand babies or get him a pet
I have 4… 7,5,3,5 months and im 31 and im tired and DONE!!! your done then say no!
No you are not. Not at all. I have 1 and im done. People say im selfish cuz what if my boyfriend wants one…i tell them if they are so concerned then they can have his child and if not then shut up about it. He knew before we ever decided to date that i was not having anymore children and he decided to go forward with the relationship. It is no ones decision nor right to say anything if you do not want another.
U both need to be on same page unfortunately. Even though u made an agreement feelings can change, but in other hand if ur not on board then he needs to accept u are done. In years to come he will have grand babies to dote after
Tell him to wait soon enough grand babies will come along
Not wanting to have a baby is never selfish. You need to stand your ground and tell him no.
My husband and I talked about that before marriage. I wanted no more than 4 he wanted no more than 2. My 2nd pregnancy was twins so we got the compromise on 3 and stopped. After every pregnancy though iv had a major medical issue so even if we wanted more, 4 physical reasons we can’t have anymore. I was only 26 with my twins. Dont think of it as selfish just because u don’t want 2 have another at ur age. And the age gap between kids is huge. There are other options such as being foster parents and adoption. If he can just wait a few years u never know u might be grandparents soon. If worse comes to worse borrow someone else IN THE FAMILYS young kids and remind him they are lots of work and that he himself just may not be up 2 dealing with that level of work. If ur husband is like most dads he provides what is needed but just doesn’t get up at 2am 2 feed and doesn’t know what it’s like 2 fight 4 sleep or 2 even get time 2 urself. Not 2 mention the taxing toll it takes on the body 4 about 9 months and then about a year after that. Goodluck hope that helps
No way I would start over, tell him wait a few years and enjoy grandkids.
4 is good, your not being selfish, enjoy your family!
Remind him in a few years you will be grandparents…
Absolutely not!! Just a thought from experience me and my younger brother are 10 years apart and a lot of times I felt like the mom because I tried to be as helpful to my mom as possible. You have a great age difference with the 4 you have!
I wish I could!
Im 47 and I would love to have another one, my kids are 16,17,18 and 19 , but I guess Ill just wait for the grandkids
You aren’t in the wrong at all! At the end of the day, if you don’t want another, that’s final. You’re not being selfish. You’re the one that has to carry the baby and deliver the babe, if you don’t want one, that’s 100% ok and he should understand.
Absolutely not. It’s your bod. There’s a wrong with not wanting more.
Nope,
My kids are 24,21,19,14 & 6
Just remember grandparents soon .
If it does happen don’t settle for one more child.
That youngest will be unhappy having no younger siblings.
I separate my kids ages and it wasn’t the best move.
Heck no! I have 3 and I’m 29, i told my husband that I’m done! If you’re done then you’re done. It’s not as stressful for husbands as it is for wives… if you’re anything like me then pregnancy takes a toll not only on your body but your mental health.
I had my daughter at 40 and now I’m glad she is here. I was scared at first because I felt too old.
You are not selfish… if you don’t want anymore he will just have to get over it.
You are not being selfish at all!!
His problem, not yours.
My Dad taught me:
“Women do NOT need to marry and
women do NOT HAVE TO have children”.
You’ve successfully accomplished your MOTHER duty and remember, your FOUR kids MAY choose to give you GRANDCHILDREN!!!
Your husband must wait until then.
No your not selfish now is the time to spend with your kids and husband I wouldn’t want to go back to having a baby at your age considering the age of your kids. Not to think about all the deformities that come with being an older mother. I
I bet you’re just getting your life back and that’s probably very worrying for him, he doesn’t want another baby- he wants you pinned down.
No is no …if he want another have him foster on…
You would be 60 as they turned 20, is that fair to the child. Can you keep up with extra activities and all the things kids want to do.
You are not selfish if u don’t want anymore. U guys agreed to only have 4 to begin with. As a mother of 4 myself, 4 is hard and especially if your youngest is 10 and starting all over. If u have another at 40 you won’t have time for yourself so to speak until your close to 60. I just turned 40 and my youngest is 11 and I couldn’t imagine starting over now at this age. I’m not saying either is wrong or either of you are selfish. As a woman you have to carry the baby for 9 months so if u don’t want anymore than he should respect that.
No not at all everyone has different views of when to stop
I have five already
my youngest is 19 and am 45
Yikes but I just started trying to have another one my husband doesn’t really want to but he will only because I want one but I am only giving myself one year to try if it doesn’t hallen it doesn’t happen
Have you considered adopting?
Ok who’s baby can you borrow for a week preferably one that’s a bad sleeper n let him take care of it for the whole week . See if he thinks it’s a great idea after that gentle reminder of small babies
Not selfish but definitely not too old either
Absolutely not selfish at all
Nope. If he makes you feel bad, the door is in front.
Not selfish at all. Your kids are all out the the small child stage which allows you more freedom really. In my opinion I wouldn’t be going back and basically starting all over again. Maybe explain you are done having babies and love the age your kids are at now, there’s less stress and they are becoming independent
If you dont want another baby dont it your body
Starting over is HARD… but fun. I can’t wait to have al three of mine finally in school. I’ve never been without a daycare bill. Mine are 15,11, and soon to be 5. Whatever you decide, that’s your right decision. I’m starting to do things for me finally like date, get my hair done, go shopping. I like the freedom I’m starting to have.
Not selfish at all! It is your body who would be growing the baby you have every right to say you do not want to do that anymore.
No you’re not selfish!
I mean he’s lucky he got that many. I had one and done. My body, my say. Don’t like it the door is there.
Hell no who wants to start all over when your youngest is 10 and you’ll be like 58 by the time a new baby would be 18. #nothankyou
Maybe Consider adoption
No. Your not selfish. I’m 36 and my husband is 39. He accidentally got me pregnant again 5 months after giving birth to my son. I already have a 15y/o daughter and we discussed that our son would be it. Me personally I couldn’t handle 3 kids so props to you with 4 kids. Your decision at the end of the day. Good luck to ya.
why does he want another one when he has four,
We have 18, 16, 15, 14, and 10. No way we’re having another.
Just say no. You’d be starting all over instead of having 8 years left.
I have one and want no more…
Remind him that there will probably be grandkids soon enough. Plus, vacations you guys can take and traveling you can do -if wanted- when all the kids are moved out. But I’d also say talk to him and make sure his want for another child isn’t enough to make him want to leave if he doesn’t get another. See if there’s a compromise y’all can agree to. Some type of pet or something. 39 isn’t to old, but because your over 35 you would be considered high risk right away.
I don’t think you are. I think you two communicated what your cutoff was & he changed his mind. Which is his choice but he can’t expect you to just change your mind b/c he did-ESPECIALLY when your the one who has to do the work.
I had 4 from my marriage and never thought I would have more. After I met my bf he asked me let’s have a baby, but after 2 miscarriage from a previous relationship I didn’t think I could anymore. At age 40 & 41 I had 2 more lil girls and they are the best thing that happened. I had all natural births that I am grateful for n now they are 6&7 yrs old
Only you can decide if you want another child. If not, tell him no.
I see a couple people acting almost offended by the “old”
Comment. I doubt she is in anyways saying anyone at or beyond that point who is having kids or still planning to have kids is old! She is speaking on herself, her personal life ect. She did not say “any woman past this age is too old to have children”.
This is a post about HER personal life. No one knows her health, situation, mental
State. Ect.
I don’t believe that’s wrong at all. You have four which is a good number and it’s your body. You certainly shouldn’t have another baby out of being guilt tripped.
I wouldn’t want to have another at almost 40 with all bigger kids.
Its your body not his! God will work whatever is meant to be out!
Depends on your heal, your finances, and how you feel. You’re the one who will have to go through the pregnancy, Labor, and delivery. Have a LONG talk with your hubby on how you feel about it.
My husband and I years ago agreed that we wanted 3 children, 4 was the tops, first was easy, I was 22, second was harder, I was 25 C-section she had health issues almost immediately, she saw 9 different specialists by the time she was 3 years old, and our third I was 29, also a C-section, we periodically discussed having a 4th child. My husband was fearful of my health and losing me. I was fearful to have another baby. So we stayed with our 3. When our 3rd was born we had a 7 year old and a 4 year old in the house. Now at 47 we are grandparents to 3 and only have our 17 year old at home with us. Does your husband realize what having another baby will actually do to your life and his??? You may not be too old, but do you really want to go back to all that??? I am all about having larger families, if you are both on board with this, if you concern is being too old, see your doctor and ask your doctor these questions.
Coming from someone that had a baby at 40, don’t do it. Lol It’s been rough. There is a reason we have kids in our 20’s and 30’s because girl I am tired. Tell your husband, hard pass.
It’s easy to say you want another baby when you aren’t the one who’s carrying it for nine months, birthing it, etc. Childbirth puts a lot of strain on the body and can cause permanent damage. I totally get why you wouldn’t want to start all over when your youngest is ten
Your feelings about YOUR body are never wrong. It’s easy for men to say they want another baby. They do nothing after the first part lol
Your body your choice ,
I don’t think your wrong. It is very hard “starting over” my kids are 6 yrs apart & it wasn’t easy however a friend of mine had an age gap of 17 yrs apart & she loves it. I think it depends on you. I would not do it again…
No. Not selfish at all.
I would get a puppy. You’re not selfish. I told my husband 4 is my limit on ok with the 2 we have now. But he wants a boy, so we plan on trying 2 more times for a boy. But I told him 4 is my limit. You’re not selfish at all.
I’ve got three kids 11,7, and 7 month old. I’m 32 and I’m tired! I’m a full time mom who works plus I run to ball fields for practices and games, school activities and we do things on the weekends! Constantly cleaning, cooking and laundry, when does mom get a break! It would be a hard pass for me.
4 is plenty
Tell him to hold out for grandkids
No your not wrong. I would have a one on one with hubby and tell him you have 4 and you agreed to have 4 kids put a strain on your body as you get older it worse I wish you the best
Nope 4 is enough. And 10 is a huge age gap. I have a 4 year age gap and it’s been awful at times
I’m 26 with 4 my oldest being 12 and youngest being 3 months and I’m done.
I don’t think it’s selfish. It’s harder on your body and mind the older you get.
I can tell a major difference from the kid I just had at 21 and the one I had a few months ago. I don’t wanna go through it again.
You are not wrong and you are not selfish. Pregnancy is rough! You have the right to your body.
I don’t think it’s selfish at all to say no. No offense but the older you are can cause multiples and higher risks for you. It’s also going to be a big change from a 10 year old who sleeps through the night to a newborn who does not. I had a 3 going on 4 year old when I got pregnant with my second and gave birth. It has been one of the hardest adjustments. My husband and I argue because he works long hours and I’m home all day doing everything by myself. I get little to no sleep between the two. The house is always a mess no matter how hard I try. I don’t want to have anymore after this.
YOURE the one thats going to be the main caretaker of that baby no matter what any man says. Every women in here can attest for that. You do what YOU want.
No. Its hard to start all over. Especially when your kids are damn near completely grown. You’ll have grandkids in just a few years.
Your not too old,I had mine at 39, best thing ever x
You’re not selfish to want what you want. But this is a big one. Talk through it with him for as long as it takes. You are the only one who can give him this. It’s not like he wants to go out to dinner and if you don’t, he can just go with his brother. You’re his only option for having another baby. You don’t want him resenting you for the rest of your lives over this. Make sure y’all work together to come to a solution that makes both of you happy. Good luck, I know this is a tricky one!
Ummm, no. He’s probably more in love with the idea of an adorable baby…that adorable baby will turn into another bigger mouth to feed and body to dress. Not to mention the sleepless nights and starting over from scratch
No- you’re not being selfish.
Whatever you desire for yourself and future is not wrong. You do YOU !
Babysit your friends or family member who has a newborn or a 1 month old and maybe he will change his mind. I had my baby 12-16-20 and my cousins girlfriend had hers a week after me then my friend had her son a week after her so we all have our kids similar in age. Im due in January 2022 with my last one. So I think 5 is enough pregnancies for me but this will be the 4th baby I have custody of.
Your not wrong what so ever. It’s a lot of strain on your body. I have 4 kids an just got my youngest out of diapers an fully potty trained. To start all over again would break me probably. Talk with him bout it. It’s a lot physical, mentally, an emotionally. Good luck!
You aren’t wrong but he isn’t wrong either. Tell him to wait in 10 years for grandkids.
Nope. The pregnancy is not his to endure, so it’s super easy for him to demand another, just like a kid demands a $500 toy. I’d tell him how selfish he is.
As far as your age, it’s just a #. I had my 2nd baby just before I turned 40.
I had my first in my teens, second in my 30,s and 3rd when I was 40…Have them or not it’s your choice…The one in my 40’s was the easiest… Everyone is different.
If you don’t want another child, don’t have one. You have 4. You have given him a family and in a few years, you will probably be glad to have some of your freedom back
Nope not ar all and he needs to respect that.
No you are not wrong. You are raising 4 now, focus on those children.
Your kids are at an age now that if you brought in another baby they’d resent you for it. The baby would also have no one to play with.
It’s really hard because you don’t want another thats not selfish just how you feel.
But me and my partner have stopped having children for now because he thinks we have enough, I’m only in my 20s and want one more so I’ve kind of told him yes we have enough for now but in 10 years they’ll be all grown up and if I still want another I’m not waiting around for him to make his mind up…
I mean I would never forgive him and would resent him if he was the reason I give up on that dream. You really need to talk openly and honestly to your partner. Find out what’s making him want one now after so long. And see if it’s something he can get over or that will cause issues in your relationship…
You’re almost done! Noooooo!!!