So my sister is getting married in February! Yay right? My fiancé and I have an 18 month old (from a previous relationship) and she asked if he could be the ring bearer for her wedding. Am I selfish to say that I want him to do something like that at my wedding first? I have a lot of pressure from my family saying they’ll buy his tuxedo etc and they really want him to be in the wedding, but she only knew the guy 4 months before they got engaged and they had a court wedding before their church one (which isn’t like her at all and she really moved her morals for this guy). I just don’t want our child to be involved in something like that especially when my wedding is close.
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Your son, your call. Sounds ridiculous to me, tho. 
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Nope, he’s your son, you make the decision. I would feel the exact same way. Let him be in YOUR wedding. That’s a very special moment you will always remember
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Hahahahaah !! Really selfish much , they are in love let them have the wedding and let the boy be involved people these days
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You are the mother. Just say no.
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I feel the same way when it came to my son. But I would just let him do it to save the family drama but if for some reason it snowed and the wedding was outside I wouldn’t. I dont like my son outside in the snow.
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Sounds like you just being petty 
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If you are wanting your son to do that for your own wedding then I’d tell her no if your not okay with him doing it for hers. Your little, your decision. Dont let anyone steal that moment that your wanting to create for your own special day.
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Just let him be in it i don’t see nothing wrong
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You don’t want him “apart of something like that” I wonder if your sister knows how judgmental you are about her marriage and life? All I’m gonna say is WOW!
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While you have the right to say no, I also don’t see why he can’t also be apart of her wedding. He is her nephew and she would like him to participate in her most important day. I honestly would allow him to do it because it won’t take away anything from him being in your wedding as well.
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Perfect example of how families don’t even try to show support or compromise for each other anymore. He doesn’t have to be in it, but stop dragging everything out and making it more drama. Just say no, and move on.
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Just don’t even go to her damn wedding since you want to be so judgmental and selfish!
Well he’s your son. Tell her that you want him to be in yours first. Suggests another method for ring bearer. She can use a pet or a friend’s kid instead.
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Wow cuz they got married in a court house that means she’s unworthy?! You sound selfish
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I mean really what difference does it actually make? Why can’t he be in both? She clearly loves your son and wants him to be a part of her special day as well. You should be honored.
Him being in her wedding won’t take away him being in yours. You’re just being really petty
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If you don’t support the wedding then don’t go, but idk what your wedding has to do with hers. If anything, free tuxedo for your wedding.
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This is tuff. If you stand your ground they’ll resent you. Is you having it firsti instead of having it too worth the negative vibes that are going to be swirling around. Only you know the answer. 
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Seems pretty to me. 
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Let him do it, it’s like practice for yours.
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Omg 
don’t be ridiculous.
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Uh. He can do both. Let him do both. Ffs stop being selfish.
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You sound Petty and childish… grow up and let your sister enjoy her life and be a part of it jeez
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If it really bothers you that much, he’s your son and you can say no. But you know its petty or you wouldn’t be grasping at straws trying to make her wedding or relationship seem less legitimate to justify it to yourself or a group of strangers
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I get wanting him to do it first at your wedding but the rest of your reasoning makes no sense. He is your son and you can say no but would you be able to live with your decision later on?
Its your decision but I let my son do it for a friend before I got married but she was not able to have kids and wanted as many kids included as possible. My daughter was also the flower girl. If you don’t want him to do it then that is your choice and don’t let anyone but yourself decided for you.
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When I get married all of my nieces and nephews and well as husband to be’s will be a part of it as well as my own child. You are ALL family, stop being petty and spoiled
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Let him do it, it’s your sister and it’s making memories 
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Sounds like someone is jealous that they’re not getting married first.
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Sounds like you want to be first at everything. Jealous much?
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You should be happy she wants to include him in something special like that.
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No reason he can’t be both let him have special moments in his life not just yours don’t think of yourself
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You sound ridiculous.
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Your kid, your call. But yes you are being very petty. Honestly I don’t even think it has anything to do with him being in your wedding first. It just sounds like you have a problem with the man that your sister married. Hell her wedding could be practice for your little guy but by all means, keep him out:roll_eyes:
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Love change people, my grandma told us that she dated someone for 9 years and she just didn’t want to marry him, she met my grandpa and they were married in a month. I do not see anything wrong with your boy being part of her wedding, but at the end of the day is your child
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Grow up, be glad he was included in it.
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It sounds like you are pissed off she has gotten married before you which is pretty pathetic really
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Sounds like you’re man your sister got married first and in a shorter time frame lol
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I agree with you…I’d be the same… like my daughters wouldn’t be bridesmaids for someone else before me no chance
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Nope I see nothing wrong with if🤷🏾♀️ if k want my son the be in my wedding first then so be it…
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Move your wedding up so your son can get two uses out of the tux. Win win. He still gets to do it first in your wedding then in hers.
Dont be suprised if none them show up to be or at ur wedding💁 no judgment…
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I would do it on depending how close you and your sister are if yall close like ride or die type of shit but if yall ain’t that close nah I wouldn’t there’s a difference n if u still don’t feel comfortable then say
Somebody’s jealous and using their kid as a pawn 
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Are you serious?? 
Petty af!
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Traditionally your kids arent ring bearers at their parents wedding…going by tradition only. I dont personally see the big deal letting him be in someone else’s wedding.
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Of course you can say no you r the mom but word it like I want his first wedding hes in to be mine. But also I think this might be good practice for him since hes so young
Your child your choice. My children will NEVER be in anyone else’s wedding.
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Why can’t he be in both? I don’t see what the big deal is?
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Kinda selfish if you’re asking for peoples opinions… There are plenty of people who would wish they had the opportunity with their children ! It’s not like he can’t be in both …and it’s kind of like practice for yours anyways ! 
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It is your child. Nothing to do with jealousy, i wouldnt like it either. It is a one time experience wich u want to be special. Just tell her no
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You sound wrong
I’m sorry but that’s your sister and.its her nephew. Everyone knows you ask family first would you be pissed if she just didn’t ask and went and found another little boy? Youd probably be upsent then too. Just let him do it…
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You sound petty🤷🏻♀️ I don’t think it’s a big deal at all. She’s family and wants your son to be apart of a special day… why judge her for her choices?
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She has No morals because she had a court wedding before the church wedding? Because it only took someone 4 months to realize she is a great catch and he wants to spend the rest of his life with her? You sound young, immature and jealous. It’s your child but I think you are being ridiculous.
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Consider it practice at your sisters wedding. Besides 18 months is too young, expect it to not work out.
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Morals? You have a child out of wedlock and the guy you’re marrying isnt the dad…but she has bad morals because she fell in love and is ready to start a life with someone? Hmm…the fall off that high horse is gonna hurt!
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So petty wow she’s your sister…
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Grow tf up… feel sorry for the future man that marries your petty ass lol.
If you’re sure you’re right, why are you asking?
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He can be in her wedding as the ring bearer and he can walk you down the isle at your wedding
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I think your being petty… its your sisters wedding and she wants to include your son… i think its lovely!
I think you sound very jealous with the whole “ yay right? “
Not kool.
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I would be honored if my sis or brother asked me if my child can be in there most important moment in their life ! I don’t understand why ur being closed off to the idea it’s not like he can’t be in both your weddings .
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You sound petty and jealous. Ultimately, he’s your child and it’s your decision.
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maybe you’re just being jealous of your sister because she’s getting married before you!!
It’s fine really if you don’t want your son to be involved otherwise your sister and her relationship shouldn’t be your business
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Are you just jealous she is getting married so close to you? I am not seeing what the problem is here. It’s her nephew.
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My kids were not part of my wedding heck they aren’t in any pictures… They weren’t even a thought during the wedding.
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I mean… I don’t think it’s “wrong,” but definitely a little selfish imo.
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Wow… I think you are just super jealous that she got married first. So much so that you took to degrading her. That is sad and super pathetic.
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I’m hearing some jealousy here.
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Think of it this way he’ll have experience for your wedding!
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Your child your choice , I however think it’s petty and childish!
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Jealous much? Wow. That is your sister. Congrats on bullshit excuses to be a crappy family member.
thats your sister why would you not want him to be in your sisters wedding??? that is just wrong
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Why is this also posted on another mom page
I can see where you’re coming from. I’d love for both my daughter’s first encounters with a wedding to be my own as well.
But that being said, I’d love for them to be a part of my sisters as well! Which ever came first.
I feel like it’s an honour for your son to be a part of your sisters special day.
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Could you imagine if everyone felt the need to have their children in their own wedding before anyone else’s? lol
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Selfish, and jealous.
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He is you child, but she is your sister why can’t he be in her wedding. It’s not like it’s a non-family member asking. Let him be in hers then he’ll be in yours too it’s not that big of a deal. Anyway technically she is already married she is just having a wedding ceremony so just think about it like that.
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This sounds really stupid. You want him to be in yours first. Your not getting married first. Its not a race you should be so happy she wants your son to be the ring bearer. Good lord you do sound rediculous.
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Her court wedding is no different then a wedding. And sometimes when we meet the person who we are meant to be with we change. And also look at it this why. Your son being her ring bear will be a good practice for your wedding.
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This seems like a weird thing to be mad about…it’s family and they want your son to do the honor of being in their wedding…how could that be a bad thing? Whether you like the future brother in law or think your sister rushed into it is kind of irrelevant in my opinion. I’d be excited to have him included.
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Who cares how many weddings the kid is in, some kids never get asked at all!!! That’s soooo rude to me…grow up!! Be thankful she asked!! Who cares who’s wedding comes first it doesnt matter it’s family!! This post really pisses me off!! My nieces and nephews are sooo excited to stand up in my wedding next year!! I chose them over friends and I would any day cause they are family!! I hope your sister just chooses someone else during to your selfishness and jealousy in the whole matter!! Just cause she is getting married first I’m sure!
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Sounds more like you don’t want him to be in it because you don’t approve of the relationship.
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Sounds petty, you’re petty, but you’re the mom so you can be petty if you want with your own kid.
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Your child your choice.
I felt that way too, but it meant a lot to my future sister-in-law.
He was excited to do it and it got him some practice for our wedding! By the time we’re married, he’ll be a ring bearer pro!
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People are being shockingly rude…
Although I guess not too shocking to see on this page. This page kind of sucks.
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Unless you are against the marriage itself you are seriously being a jealous spoiled brat!
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Yeah girl… You wrong
🤷🤷🤷 making mountains out of mole hills here.
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You sound really jealous that she’s getting married first for some reason… You don’t want him to be apart of the wedding because you don’t approve of the relationship, that’s pretty clear by explaining everything about their relationship and how long they were together before getting married and all that. It isn’t your marriage. You don’t have to approve. Be happy for your sister and don’t use your child to be petty and get over your jealousy.
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As someone who has buried a sibling… I wish my brother was here to even know my daughter. I would let her be in 10 weddings for him if I could.
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Doesn’t seem like they would last long in my opinion. So probably not 
it’d be a waste of time.
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To the woman who wrote this post, feel free to message me.
So many people bashing this woman. Its HER CHILD. Her choice. If she doesnr want her child in a wedding she doesnr approve of, she doesnr need him to be.
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Umm you sound petty and ridiculous. Who cares if she got married then had decide to have a wedding? That isn’t your concern. Stop using your kids as pawns!
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I mean, it’s whatever, but if you have such deep feelings about this, say no. My SIL didn’t even ask me if our son could be her ring bearer. I had to hear it through my MIL.
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I can see why you would feel this way, but take a moment and remove your feelings from the situation and think about your son and sister, if you were in her shoes and you asked for your nephew to be your ring bearer, and your sister said no just because she wanted him to be in her wedding first, wouldnt that hurt you? For your son, he wont remember it, but he will have the pictures and knowledge that he did something awesome for his aunt.
Additionally, the family will buy his tux, so you wont need to buy a whole new one for your wedding if it’s really that close, just change the colors of the cummerbund or vest or whatever it is he is wearing under the jacket.
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Have him be something MORE in your wedding.
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This whole post is very weird you sound very bitter . I mean hell if you feel that way about the whole wedding in general you might as well not go .
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Absolutely ridiculous & petty.
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