Am I wrong for not wanting my stepdaughter to send pics to her mom?

I am a mommy to a 8 year old and 9 month old, and my 8 year old just got a new phone and I’m uncomfortable with her sending her bio mom pics of my 9 month old. Is that wrong? A little back story: I have been with her dad for 6 years and have had a lot of issues with bio mom. At one point she would tell her daughter not to talk to me or say my name, snatched her out of my hands at a public place when she saw me holding her while it was dads time with baby, and even met for parent pick up and drop offs in bikinis with no covering. She has never been civil with me even though I have always respected she is the mother and I am just here to add to the love my bonus daughter receives. At this time I try and have as little contact with her as possible and so does dad. Dad has half custody alternating weeks, so normally we get her after the school week ends and see bio mom very little. I had two miscarriages prior to my rainbow baby and am just very afraid of any negativity and evil eye coming her way. Please give me insight on what I should do. Thank you.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I wrong for not wanting my stepdaughter to send pics to her mom?

Don’t do anything. She’s not going to kidnap your baby (right?). It’ll just cause more issues between you too. Ignore her in every way. That 8 y/o loves her mommy so it’ll be hard if she starts feeling the hated you have for each other.

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I think that’s just adding to the petty drama. I would not care as long as the mom doesn’t do or say anything derogatory about your child. Don’t punish the kid for the actions of the parent. Let it go. It’s petty

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She’s probably just proud to be a big sister and wants to show her off. I mean, eventually she’s going to see the baby in person right? So whats the big deal about a few photos.

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I would tell her that you don’t want her sending pictures of the baby to her mom :woman_shrugging:t3:. There’s no reason she needs to send her pictures of the baby.

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Just remember the baby is the 8 year olds sibling & she probably just wants to show off the baby to her mom. Try to let it go & rise above her negativity.

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I don’t blame you for feeling this way. But she’s a proud big sister and those are adult problems that she wouldn’t understand. Keep being wonderful to that little girl and she will realize how petty her mother is being eventually. Stay strong your the bigger person here.

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The child is just happy showing off her new sibling. Unless the bio mom says hurtful/harmful things about the baby I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

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Definitely just adding to the drama. I doubt she’ll do anything with a picture. Her mom will eventually tell her to stop sending pictures of the baby anyways if she has a history of being too vocal 

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I think now you can nearly understand how she felt 6 years ago. Now imagine if she were HOLDING your baby? Like you did hers? Lol
Let big sister brag about her little sister

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You are wrong. Your bonus daughter is excited about the baby and showing the baby off. If you start telling her she can’t take and share pictures of the baby she will start to resent both you and the baby. Let her be a proud big sister or don’t be surprised when she starts to resent the baby or traF it differently.

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I’d leave it alone. She’s just being a proud sister and you don’t want to cause conflict between yourself and your daughter. Hopefully since you have a baby now, bio mom will get the hint that your husband isn’t interested and she will move on.

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You have every right to not want pics sent. Just be really nice to your 8 year old when explaining it and there shouldnt be a problem.

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Tell the stepdaughter and if she disobeys don’t let her use the phone while at your house

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Maybe just try to talk to her in a nice way? So the little girl doesn’t feel like you’re mad at her. Just tell her that it’s not ok for her to take pictures of your baby. I’m pretty she’ll understand :relaxed:

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As uncomfortable as it makes you let it go.
Don’t make the sibling feel ashamed or apprehensive to be excited or involve her mom with her sibling. I was in that situation, and it hurt a lot not being able to brag about my brother or show my mom how cute he was.

Let her be proud- whats the woman going to do? Nothing at all and will likely have her cut it out on her own.

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I’m glad I married someone with the opposite mindset of this. You sounds horrible honestly :blush:

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I think you’re being petty and the 8 year old is going to start resenting you for not allowing her mom to see her sibling

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As a step mom and a mom this is crazy to me my son talks about the walking dead with my kids bio mom and calls the sister from another father his sister

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Remember that is her sister too!! She has the right to share her love for them with people she loves. Seems petty to me. I could be wrong

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So the child is very excited and proud about her sister. Please don’t take that away.

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First off. I love how you said she was your daughter and not step daughter. I would feel uncomfortable too so ask nicely to not to send pictures. Sending love to your rainbow babies. Good luck!

It’s her sibling that’s why,she’s not going to understand, I get it’s your child but ,if you’re confident that her mum isn’t a weirdo than why not ,or is it because she’s the ex? Cus if it is you need to let it go.

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Do not involve your children in the petty. If she wants to be proud of her sister let her. Its just going to cause the sisters to have their feelings hurt.

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Be the better person . She’s proud of her baby sister !! Let karma hit the bio mom . Just roll it off the shoulders she’s a bitter hag let her be .

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Let your 8yr old be proud of there sibling. Bio mom isn’t going anywhere an the evil eye is jealous and hurt, rise above.

I don’t see anything wrong with it. That is her sister and pictures are going to happen.

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Find the positivity, this is simply a girl who just became a proud older sister and wants to show her off to people she cares for and who care for her. Let this be as long as mom doesn’t add any drama because the more the child is involved with the younger sibling that is how she’ll grow up and continue to be. Facilitate the positives and don’t entertain the negatives. :raised_hands:t3::heart: I understand your apprehension given the circumstances of previous interactions but it has nothing to do with the baby. Also, always give it your best shot honestly, no one ever regrets giving it their all!!

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Honestly I’d let it go. My daughter takes tons of pictures of my sons and shows them to her dad and his side of the family. She’s just an excited sibling who is happy to show off her other siblings. Some kids aren’t great with their siblings so take it as a blessing.

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That’s her sibling your shit with her mum is just that YOUR shit stop dragging kids into adult shit it’s not fair.

No, you aren’t wrong but I don’t see how you can stop it.

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She being a proud big sister that’s all I mean you should had known it may or may not be issues … let her be a sister and you handle the adult issues…

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Ummm :thinking:
1st … why does a 8yr have a phone???
2nd…. You need to stop being so damn controlling… your wrong… and it’s stupid
 you say she has not been civil but you’re passively aggressively doing the same thing BUT now you’re actively trying to get the eight-year-old daughter to be part of your drama. 

You’re just being over protective. You have to remember this is her new baby sibling. It’s just pictures. No different than taking your own photos of your baby and posting it to the strange fb world to see;millions of strangers eyes. Let it go.

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It’s her sister she is excited . Who cares what the mom says . Do not put the children in the middle of your nonsense

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She is proud of her baby sis, and wants to show her off, but I completely understand not wanting her to send pics. Pics can be shared everywhere and people are crazy. I think I would ask her to just show mom, not send them.

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The fact you put in the post that she showed up in a bikini with no cover shows their is alot of jealousy on your part. Is it really an issue of the sister taking pics or does the issue really lye elsewhere?

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What harm is it doing? She may be your step daughter, but she’s related to your baby by blood and obviously adores her sibling. Her mum probably just says “very nice” and leaves it at that

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A bikini? :thinking: odd complaint. I know yall don’t get along and that’s a bummer. Some people really will do anything to cause drama. The things she’s done in the past are on her, if you start to do petty stuff, that will be on you. Don’t show your step daughter the animosity between you two. It won’t hurt for her to see pictures of her child’s new sibling. It’s never cool to make a child choose between their parents. I don’t advise it.

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Pray everything will get better

Its about your bonus daughter loving her half sibling. NO harm done.

STOP the disrespect DON’T play into it. SHE will get the message.

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Unless I say so, no, you can’t have pics of my kid

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It’s innocent really…she’s proud of her baby

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I’m half italian so I get the worries of your last statement cause it’s been engrained into us lol but honestly its harmless. She just loves her siblings and wants to show her Mom how cute they are. The daughter also may feel bad that Mom is secluded from everyone so she is trying to involve her. The daughter seems to have empathy and just love to be honest. Bio mom may always be an issue but only if you let it bother you. Let it go, there are definitely worse things

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I understand your concerns but your bonus daughter is excited to show off her new sibling, let her have that excitement if bio mom crosses a line in that process then talk to bio daughter and maybe set some boundaries till then let her show off her sibling, I’m a mom and step mom here so I get it :heart:

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Shes proud of her baby sister and wanting to share. My bonus sons that I have raised since they were babies did the same thing with their baby sister when she was born.

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It’s the having a problem with a bikini for :roll_eyes:

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I’m gonna disagree with half the people saying to let her send them to her mother . I would not want pictures of my baby going to people who have hate for me just for the fact u don’t know if and how they will use the pictures . I would talk with your bonus daughter and tell her how uncomfortable it makes you and tell her maybe she can still take them and share them with grandparents or keep them for herself to show her friends or teachers I DK I mean I get it I would not trust some one who doesn’t like me to have my kids pictures or anything else for that matter I don’t think it’s petty bc u never know how crazy people can be

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At 8 years old what is she sending pictures on? Phone, watch, tablet whatever device she needs supervision 100% of the time w it and very limited screen time. She cant send pics you dont want her to if you are supervising hervat all times with the device. If she just wants to send her mom a pic of her and her sibling I think that a positive for both kids but she needs to ask permission and be supervised while doing it. We had an issue where our daughter had a kids phone watch that her Mom got her at 6 and we did not agree at all . …we just put it up as soon as she came to our house and gave it back at drop off. Problems solved and even got brought up in court by mom but the judge agreed w us that it was inappropriate for her age to have any photo messaging device unsupervised and whatever electronics are at whoevers house stay there and don’t travel between homes.

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The 8yr old isn’t doing this negatively. She is a proud big sister and wants to show the baby off. I would let her continue doing so. Stopping her will make her feel some type of way. Nothing will happen to her mom but for her it will hurt her

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The bikini is no concern of yours. Unless she is talking I’ll of your baby to your stepdaughter I see no harm in it as that is your stepdaughters sister. They are blood and in your home that is your daughter.

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No you are not wrong for not wanting her to send the pictures to her mother. Tell her that you know she loves her sister and you have no problem with her taking pictures of her but you would appreciate it if she did not send them to her mom. If she doesn’t listen maybe talk to her dad about it.

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I mean it’s her phone ? Did you buy it?

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Nope not wrong I’m a step mom of 4 I raised one of them who is 24 had him since he was 5 it’s not wrong to ask but they will do it any ways sad to say I just had my 4th baby 3 weeks ago my son just got in to contact with his bio mom after 11 years of no contact I didn’t tell him I was pregnant right away I have never left him out of anything when we did tell him we did say do not tell her it is none of her business and sure enough he told her and he is 24 we didn’t tell him we had him right away either got a phone call.late last week from his bio mom’s sister congrulatings us on his birth and also saying my baby’s name so knew it was him that told them they don’t do anything out of being nice it’s more vindictiveness than anything

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with her sending pics of her sibling grow up and deal with it

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All these women fine with the bikini wouldn’t date pick up your kids in one, not covered. :roll_eyes: Unless you wanted to start something. Can we not… :woman_facepalming:
That said, I’d ask that she not send them. When my SD would visit, we took the phone. She got it to call her mom & we took it back. If she wants pics, you take them and print them for her room. Maybe take one of her, the baby and dad for her phone.

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I sent my spouses baby mommy pictures of my son cause her kids and mine are siblings and were adults.

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How would you explain to that 8 year old why she can’t send pics of her sibling to her mom?

Stop bringing kids into adult drama.

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Well for the 8 year old she’s prob proud of her baby sister and showing her off. I would leave it alone cause it sounds like “bio mom” really doesn’t give a crap anyway but for sake of the child everyone smiles and nods. Lol bikini thing who cares she’s only doing it to get a rise out of you so ignore it cause it only makes her look like an ass anyway. This is what it is when u have to co parent w people. Have to pick n choose your battles

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Sounds like she just wants to show off her little sister that’s all.

But was it truly necessary that you had to bring up how she showed up to drop off in just a bikini? Like what good does that do honestly saying that? Sounds like you have some jealousy towards the little girls biological mother.

How is sending a picture going to bring any type of negativity or evil eye coming your daughters way?

You’re going to cause a rift between you and your step daughter cause of you and the other adults pettiness which is ridiculous.

I get it there’s bitter baby mamas but that doesn’t mean the bitterness between y’all has to be put on the child too. Stop bringing adult problems around children.

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I wouldn’t like it either.

I totally understand you. No you’re not wrong. But I would just cleanse my baby from evil eye once in a while you never know

If the 8 year old has photos of her baby sibling on the phone, there’s nothing stopping her from showing her mom her baby sibling. And if you ask the 8 year old not to show her bio mom the photos on her phone, it’s going to cause more drama. That’s her sibling. I always love seeing pictures of my son with his brother from his dad side.

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Sounds like you all need counseling and need to learn to co-parent. This is her sibling. Learn to get along…

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So now you are showing your kid how to play games. Suck it up let her be excited about sending. You just gave bio mom more reasons to be petty back

Nothing wrong with that. It’s your kid and not your daughters mom’s kid.

I feel like she just wants her mom to see her sibling and won’t really understand why you don’t want her doing it. Unfortunately you can’t really explain it to her without involving her in adult drama either so I feel like I would just let her :woman_shrugging:t2:

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How long ago was the bikin pick up if you guys get her after school now.

Sometimes we have to stop thinking about old situations and grow up. It’s not about y’all no more. It’s about the kids. She happy about her sibling.

Stop bring kids into adult situations

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So my husbands family believes in curses. If you go to a jeweler they have a 24k gold eye that baby can wear anywhere it goes and the eye is supposed to protect them. My babies still wear them.

Talk to dad and explain your concerns. Which are very very valid . I wouldn’t want that either. Hard nope . If she continues to do it , maybe it needs to confiscated .

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Let your hang-ups go. They aren’t the 8 years olds and it’s not fair to place that burden on her

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I have to say leave the drama away from the kids also. She’s a proud big sister as she should be. Some of the other points made as others said were kind of out of the way nothing to do with the current situation. Also do you post pictures of her actual daughter? Did you and your husband share pictures when you had the baby of them together? I ask this because if you did it’s kind of hypocritical especially when big sister is just being a proud sibling like you two were parents. Maybe this is a time to try and be more civil for the kids as I’m sure being a big sister is a lot of what she talks about when she’s with her mom. She’s harmless and I’m sure the mom has sense enough not to insult the baby if that’s your worry because it would hurt her own daughters feelings :heart:

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Its her sister. People need to learn how to co parent & be a big blended family

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If you don’t want her to bc you don’t want pics of the 9 month old out and about at all then I completely understand. But if you’ve so much as posted one pic of that bebe on your social media then your just being extra.

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Stop bring your damn kid into your adult issues. You’re asking for childhood trauma for her and that’s not okay.

I wouldn’t like it either. You’re going to have to figure out with your husband what the rules and boundaries are going to be, because next it will be posting things on to social media, etc.
Maybe a family sit down talk is in order

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Think regardl3ss of your feelings for her it is pictures and they are siblings if it makes her happy sending her pictures good like finding a logical.explanatjon for a 8 year old that won’t hurt her saying you can’t send you mom pictures. Think regardless of how awful her mom is you need to put it aside

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She is a big sister sharing pictures of her new baby brother. I would let her share maybe even take some pictures of them together and them with dad, a family picture of the 4 of you .

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She’s an 8 yr old, sending her mom pics of her sibling. Let it go…

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I understand and would just explain to her that she has 2 families that love her but they are separate families not too hard to understand

That’s her sister/brother of course she is going to want her mom to see and send her pics of them. You’re over reacting chill out

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I don’t like my children’s pictures passed around either. Especially to someone with clear dislike for me. I would putbounties on the cell phone. Get family link through Google. 8 seems so young for a cell phone. But that’s just my opinion. They cause more division than unity.

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You are being petty because you dont like the bio mom. I was a step mom before I was a bio mom and I wouldn’t tell my step son he couldn’t show his mom pics of my son. That’s his brother. Get over yourself!

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Wow so many people saying to stop being a protective Mom.
I am a step mom. I understand what you mean. No…your not wrong. Always listen to your Mother Instinct. If you have a bad feeling about it let her know how it can be dangerous to have pics on the internet and on the phone. Who knows what a stranger will do with those. Why would the woman care? She doesn’t like you. It’s none of her business. Keep being protective. God bless.

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She is sending her mom pictures of her sibling it’s not just your baby. You’re overreacting

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So you are mad the bio mom was petty at one time so now you want to be and it’s ok? I’m sure the 8 year old is just a proud big sister and wants to take photos with her sister. Grow up and stop playing games and co-parent just like you have expect bio mom to do all along.

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I also feel that if you yourself or your husband have posted pictures of them together on any of your social media accounts, you’re being hypocritical. Your stepdaughter seems like she is proud to be a big sister and wants to share that. Unfortunately with that will possibly come criticism from the bio mom, but you need to just let it roll off your shoulders. If you are happy in your marriage, happy to have your step daughter be there with you, then that’s all you need. Everything else is just extra. You can’t control how this woman responds to you, you can only affirm to your step daughter that she is loved in your house no matter what. I say if she wants to send pictures of her being a proud big sister to her mom, let her. If you don’t let her it could become a situation where the bio mom turn it around on you and tells your step daughter you are ashamed of her being a big sister and that why you won’t allow her to send pictures. It’s basically a double edged sword in this situation, damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

I think the bigger issue here is an 8 year old having her own cell phone. With everything children are exposed to now a days I think that is too young.

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I need more information on this but I’ll give you my view. I didn’t have a baby in the house, but I still didn’t want household photos sent to my ex, unless it went past me.
What could he pick apart? Dirty dishes? I was wearing something skimpy? I had a glass of wine? All pics went through me first!
When it comes to baby pics, it’s your personal choice. Even if you share photos of your baby on your personal Facebook, you may not be willing to share them.

I got photos when my kids first met their baby sister with his wife. I posted the pics on my FB of them holding her, but I scribbled over her face, as it’s not my child to post. Not everyone would do that though!

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Let her send pictures of your baby to her mom. Let the mom’s reaction be whatever. You don’t want to become like her. Keep on loving and living.

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Yeah that’s wrong… you want her to completely embrace her sibling … doesn’t matter what you & her bio going through it’s good she loves her sibling cause some bios start off teaching the steps not to… you could have way bigger problems on your hands but right now in this situation the problem is *you.

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Please don’t adult issues on the kids. Your 9mo is his 8yo’s sibling. Don’t force spearate lives on the kids and risk distancing thier relationship before it even has a chance to develop itself.

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The adult problems are not the kid’s problem…

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Umm that your child sibling. Of course they are going to want to take picture and share with the other parent. This is going to cause issues between the kids as siblings. Don’t do that!

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You’re stepdaughter sounds like a proud big sister. Don’t take that away from her please.
You don’t want to cause her to have negative feelings about the baby because of this.

I think you have bigger fish to fry, let that little girl show off her baby. Don’t turn this positive into a negative.

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Being a practicing witch for far too many years and enjoying thinking out of the box…I name my house and name my vehicle. I tell no one their names. Can’t send the evil eye or bad energy to something you do not know the name of. Maybe do a small spiritual naming ceremony for the baby giving her a spiritual name. The name on the birth certificate is mainly for government use and what you call her and what others call her by. A spiritual name though would be something protected. Then you can comfortably allow the 8 year old to take and send as many pictures as she wanted. I also burn a white candle for protection every now and then with the intent any evil eye or negativity sent by anyone to turn right around and attach itself to the sender time 3 times 3 times 3. If theybkeep finding their lives in chaos and keep trying harder I up it to times 13. By then they are too busy dealing with their own mess they are creating they tend to disappear or at least are too busy to even try.

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