Your bonus child is just proud of her sibling and obviously loves your baby don’t cause more problems by being petty yourself these children need a parent who is above all the nonsense don’t show her an example of how a parent is not supposed to act rise above it and realize your bonus baby is just showing her love don’t take that from her
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Put your stepdaughter first. Period. She is sharing her new sibling, who she loves, with her mother, who she also loves. If you look at it through the eyes of your daughter it becomes clear. You have a right to feel uncomfortable though. But don’t let the kiddo see that. Let her carry on.
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She’s a proud big sister! Let it be unless bio mom starts saying nasty things to her. Don’t make it a big deal let her be excited
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Yeah tell her u don’t feel comfortable with ur child’s pictures being passed around…it’s that simple
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That’s unhealthy for you to not allow the oldest child to be proud of and enjoy the fact that she’s a big sister. Stop!
Let her be proud of her siblings and show them off to whoever she wants as long as it isn’t strangers. You are doing the negative on this one.
Two wrongs don’t make a right
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Your bonus daughter clearly loves being a big sister. Please don’t allow adult problems to get in the way of their relationship.
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Personally, your step daughter is just happy, exciting and sharing the love of your child. I would be alright with it.
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What’s the point of pointing out she wore a bathing suit? Im going on a limb here and going to say you also are part of this ongoing issue. And have some insecurities/jealousy issues towards her.
Remember that this is this little girls mom and sibling. Remove you from that equation. Also if you’ve posted photos online anywhere your point is invalid. Maybe let go of resentment and all get along for these kids. Who cares if she’s in a bra and underwear at pickup. Also I bet she wasn’t very fond of you being around her child a few years ago. But that was ok to you bc roles reversed. Your talking about pictures 
not her being around the baby.
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You sound jealous an controlling honestly- the fact that you had to comment about what bio mom wears… who cares? Are we shaming her? If you want to act like a child about this then speak to dad about addressing the “issue” because these are both of his children.
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How can you really tell an 8yr old not to show off her baby sister? I would hope she wouldn’t be negative about her own daughter’s sister.
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For someone that doesn’t want negativity around you sure are harboring alot of it.
Would you be this worked up over anyone else sharing a picture of your child??
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What y’all seem to be missing is the possibility of pictures of the baby ending up in the wrong place. I know what jealous ex’s are capable of. Personally, I would have issues with it also. And with all the trafficking it is better safe than sorry. I do understand having a sibling being proud of their half-sibling, and wanting to encourage that. And if OP’s isn’t comfortable with it, she is allowed!!! Where are all the comments about protect your child??? 
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I would put some boundaries in place. Only allow approved photos to be sent. I don’t see anything wrong with that.
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He sibling is her life. She is probably just wanting to show him off. Her feelings about her mom and her sibling should both be validated. You are negating her feelings and causing a conflict that doesn’t exist. For the sake of the kids, please don’t go down this road. I am a family law paralegal and I can tell you, this sort of thing messes with a kid.
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She’s proud of her sibling. Don’t make differences between the kids and quit being jealous of her biological REAL mother. actually stop referring to her as bio mom. Say my stepdaughter‘s mother. Because that’s what she is. When you refer to her as a bio mom it’s like you’ve adopted her child and she has nothing to do with her child which as you stated there’s half custody so that’s not the case. Seems to me you’re just trying to make her look as bad as possible. Did you really think people would get on here and boo-hoo for you? There’s nothing you can do about that. Why even bring up the bikini shit with no context? Like you’re really reaching here. Stay in your lane as a stepmother and stop picking battles that’s going to cause you to lose the war. You’re not gonna be this child’s biological mother ever. So trying to start shit now is only gonna make it worse in the future and probably on your marriage. If you were smart you would just quit trying to find things to be mad about and just be glad you have kids of your own to worry about
First and foremost it’s important for the adults to all get along and act like adults. The children are siblings and big sister is at the perfect age to love and want to show off the baby. Don’t drive a wedge between them by making them his child and our child. As for what she wears to drop off, is that really pertinent? It would be so much more productive to look for the positive things than to dwell on what you perceive as her flaws.
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Sounds like you’re insecure!
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Big sis is proud of little sis. Of course she wants photos. She is happy to have a sibling.
You are not typically in the same circle of the world as the 8 yo’s mom. She is her mom, not just a bio mom, by the way. She is an active participant in her daughter’s life. Stop compartmentalizing the 8 yo’s mom to fit your prejudices. Leave your prejudices in your head and stop sharing them. The mom of the 8 yo is entitled to be hurt. Put yourself in her shoes, for once. Her life was turned upside down by divorce. Her arms and heart ache when you and her dad have the 8 yo. Her home is completely empty. You home is never empty right now. Be a bigger person.
Calm down. Let the 8 yo be a proud big sis to her new lil sis.
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I think its little petty. Your bonus daughter wont understand. She shouldnt have to understand. Trust me alot more things about parenting are uncomfortable
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You have every right to feel a type of way. Mentioning the bikinis , indicated to me that she has no respect . However , your baby is her sibling. Take pics of them together and allow her to share those only. You are not insecure or bitter, just sounds like you are being cautious due to your miscarriages. Clearly the little girls mom , does not respect you I have to assume she does not like you either. Good luck and Many blessings for your baby 
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“I am mommy to a 8 year old”
“I have always respected she is the mother”
“Sending her bio mom pics”
Yikes. No respect.
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The issues you explained here and between the adults.
She has a new baby sibling and is EXCITED.
Regardless of the way you feel about the bio mom, y’all are a blended family now. She is going to show her mom her new sibling out of love for both of them. Do not discourage that, especially at a very impressionable age. That just causes confusion for the child, introducing her to adult issues like that. That will create a split family. Not cool. You married him and everything that comes with him.
If you’re worried about “bad vibes”, manifest the good ones to surround you. Right now you’re just wreaking bad vibes yourself with your triggers.
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I can see why mom would snatch baby out of your arms, did yall hava formal introduction, was she aware of you? If not can you blame her? And if you believe in evil eye and bad energy then you should believe in the protection of white energy and casting it onto your baby. The daughter is just being a loving big sister.
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She just wants to show her mom her new sibling , I don’t see why you are making her feel bad for doing that ?
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The kids just proud and happy to have baby siblings , if you don’t want the photos shared , I think the op has some issues and they are unresolved and maybe adds fuel to the fire as well, maybe gently saying to the child that they are private for mummy and daddy and nit wanting to be shared around just yet etc ya know in a round about way, I think there’s alot of true points made here from ppl that I totally agree with , but I’m not gunna be horrible about it , just be proud of you’re kids and you’re stepdaughter , I mean if you share pics if the kids in social media you go out side the house the kids get seen by random strangers ,I see that she’s totally in love with her siblings and wants to share that
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If your here to add to the love your 9 year old recieves you must accept that they are sisters and that woman will always be a part of your lifget over what the bio mom wears what has happened in the past and what could possibly be wrong with the sister sharing pictures?you sound kind of toxic
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“very afraid of any negativity around her” uh hunny… You’ve done that to yourself already it seems. The 8 yr old is probably really excited to show off the baby just like I’m sure you and dad have been with photos with loved ones as well. I can understand not wanting pictures posted online or something but for her to just show her mom I don’t see what kind of negativity would come from it? If she can talk shit about a baby I mean that just says a lot about her as a person and nothing about you guys
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No put boundaries in place!!
One small issue… this isn’t about you. This is her sister. All you did was talk about you and your feelings. This has nothing to do with a little girl wanting to show off her little sister.
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You and her father need to sit down with her and tell her to stop. Her mother does not need photos of your child, it’s that simple. Excited or not, this isn’t okay with how her mother behaves
Also for all of those asking why she even has a phone, it’s quite common for children with split parents to have phones to communicate with their parents. My 7 year old has one. And it’s an iPhone so we can keep his location on at all times.
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I’d have a problem with the bio moms actions as well, however your other kiddo is just excited about her new sibling. I’d let that one go and if any problems arise, address it then.
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Don’t limit the child. Your concern is understandable with history. You’re step child will eventually see things for what they are. Just support her, if her mom speaks ill that’s on her. Just bless the house or sage it
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I think you’re being petty but just tell your daughter to not take pictures of her sister lol
It must be exhausting living this way.
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I was agreeing with you until you talked about the “evil eye” lol that threw me. I get her not wanting pictures but you need dad to talk to her about that. I was very close to breaking my brother in laws phone when I found out he was sending my mother in law pictures of my child (we’re no contact with her) I know it’s different because it’s a child but it’s still someone you don’t want and who doesn’t need pictures of your child receiving them.
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I mean if she wants to test you like you can’t be a big civil family, that’s how you should treat her. Tell daughter not to send pictures of the baby to her mom. She doesn’t need to see your baby if she won’t even let you hold hers.
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Unpopular opinion here but no, you’re not wrong. My bonus babies mom said terrible terrible things about my son when I was pregnant so I refuse to allow my bonus daughters to take pictures/videos of only him on their phones. They have a set of phones that they use at our home to play games and whatnot and they’re allowed to take pics/videos on those but not on their personal phones they take back to their moms (unless it’s photos of them with their brother then that’s fine) However my husband had that talk with them and set that boundary because he wasn’t fond of them showing/sending mom pics of brother because at the end of the day, our son isn’t any of her business, especially not when she said nasty things about him.
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I too wouldn’t like it because of how your relationship with the mother is but can you really take that away from this child? It’s her sibling and normal to have pictures of family so I’d just make sure you regulate what kind of pictures she has to make sure they are appropriate. Internet safety etc
Is she a voo doo women? Lol evil eye. 
I get what you’re saying. Some people don’t want their kids pictures shared with certain people. It’s your decision. 
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Grow up!!! Eight year old child already lost her parents union and now you want to take her connection to her baby sister!!! So what if her mom doesn’t meet your criteria… don’t take it out on that little girl!!
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It must be tiring to try and stop sisterly love. You’re being petty.
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Your feelings are 100% valid. Especially when things are bad with BM. However they are siblings and you SD just wants to share her love of her sibling with her Mom. Let her but maybe set a boundary or strongly encourage the pictures sent to BM has SD included. Then it’s a perfect excuse to take more pictures of them together. Also for your sanity Mama start living your life by this truth, other people’s opinions of you are none of your business which means to let anything BM says about you and your lives just let it go. Your partner and you need to implement the gray rock method when interacting with BM meaning if she messages or calls to discuss anything except important issues about shared child ignore or end the conversation. If she continues to be belligerent then document and get an order stating all communications are done via a parenting app or email only for the judge to see and stick to the business at hand which is giving SD a good life with both parents. Keep a thick guard up with BM and focus on your life in your home. That will help you a lot sticking to your boundaries because we don’t control others just our reactions to theirs. To make it stop just don’t engage with toxic behaviors from BM. Hang in there Mama.
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Let her send them… do you really think bio mom wants pics of her ex husbands new baby? But apparently she thinks about her daughters feeling more than you do.
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What you should do?
If you’re going to claim to be this 8 year old mum then you should be acting like that… all of the time.
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My sons send pics of their baby sisters when at their dads house and it’s actually annoying on my end bc i just don’t care lol but they love her and just text me the whole time anyway so i just let it roll off my shoulders… you’d be surprised but I’m sure bio mom doesn’t want pics of your baby either lol
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That’s the thing you think you have a say so over a child that’s not even yours. She has a mom and dad and they both seem to be active parents. So stay in your place and as for all the jealousy. Get over yourself the whole thing just sounds like your jealous of bio mom.
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Look, your baby, your choices. It’s not like you can take her phone from her over it, but I would try to sit down with bonus daughter- and explain that you simply do not want any photos sent to people whom aren’t a part of babies every day life.
That being said, it seems she might just be excited about baby and her new phone, and trying to share that with her mom. So when you do talk about it, keep an open ear and try to understand her perspective too. Kids don’t think like adults do, and she probably doesn’t see any harm or issues with what she’s doing. Xx.
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Most people think you’re wrong, but I don’t. That’s your baby so you have every right to deny your step daughter the right to send her mom a picture of your baby. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with her sending a picture of my baby to anyone that’s not in my circle. What goes on in your house hold should stay in your house. You have to explain to her why you don’t want her to send her mom pictures of her sibling.
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It’s her baby sister. I’d be worried about you believing in voodoo and evil eyes. That’s a whole lot weirder to me.
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Let me see if I have this right. This woman is forced to deal with you having her child half the time and even going so far as to call this child your “bonus child” but she is not allowed even a pic of your kid, is that right? Am I also right is believing that you and her ex began your relationship while they were together? I say grow up.
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It’s not her child. She has no business having anything to do with her. No it’s not wrong to set limits & tell your stepdaughter that for her siblings safety she’s not to send her mom pictures of her or tell her anything about your child.
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Why does an 8 year old have a cell phone
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I had a similar incident and I told my boyfriend / kids dad to tell his oldest not to be doing that and that solved it.
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Why is the hell does an 8 year old have an iPhone?
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8 yr old is too young to have a phone. And no, I don’t blame you. You don’t want that nasty woman to share pics of your baby or maybe show them to someone else and talked shit about your baby. Your baby don’t need that kind of evil woman in her life
What does dad say? He has a choice too. Whilst it might be your daughter she is taking photos of - don’t over look or undermined it’s her sister too
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Yea that would be a no from me. I have a step daughter as well and her mom is legit crazy. She stole my ultrasound pictures and made a post saying she was so excited to be a step mommy and how she gets to have another little girl, she told my husband that she was going to take my baby and when she did they can raise her together like they did with step daughter and a whole bunch of different crazy things. So when my daughter was born she wasn’t allowed to see her and now since she’s older and they FaceTime dad tells daughter not to screenshot pictures or anything like that for our daughters safety
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Your main concern should be overseeing that your “bonus child” isn’t misusing the cell phone, and being sure she’s only on age appropriate games/apps/pages.
There’s nothing wrong with her taking cute photos of her sister. If it’s a big issue for you still, maybe get photos of them together instead of just the baby by herself.
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She just wants to show her little sister and for me that is very sweet , she is a proud older sister , I do think that you have the right to feel the way you are feeling but she will not understand your reasons, if you feel worry about bad energy and vibes towards your baby you can buy her something to protect her from that type of stuff.
In Puerto Rico ( where I am from) we buy something called manita de asabache is like a charm that you can put in her clothes or in a bracelet, it protects the baby from bad eye , envy and bad energy ( is like a traditional thing we do )
I think you’re being ridiculous
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Unless you and bio mom are cool with each other there is NO reason for her to be receiving pictures of your baby. Idc what anyone says if YOURE uncomfortable with it then you need to speak to your husband about it and how to go about it. My step son doesn’t send unnecessary pics of my kids to his mom because we are not cool like that. My daughter sends pics to myself of her siblings from her now step mom and she sends them pics because we get along! If either side was uncomfortable, it wouldn’t be happening. And since she’s only 8, she probably thinks it’s okay because nothing has been said otherwise since kids don’t realize things like taking (a simple pic to her) can make someone uncomfortable. I’d be supportive that you love she is still connecting with her mom and try and bring up how maybe she can continue to send pics to her mom of just herself?? Something along those lines.
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Why does she even have a phone at 8 years old!
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There’s no reason to add in the bikini thing. Her body, her choice.
But big sister is probably excited about baby sister. If bio mom isn’t being nasty or stalkerish let it go
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I don’t blame you. I know what you are talking about and that sh!t is real.
Let her dad take care of set times she’s allowed to use the phone, I can already see her not wanting to do chores and texting her mom grievances about you.
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It’s your house. Set rules that you don’t want pictures being taken of your daughter when she comes over. It’ll irk me too
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Yeah it’s wrong and weird.
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You sound immature. She’s showing off her siblings. You should let her. Quit interfering in their relationship.
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First, why does an 8 year old have a cell phone with service?
Second, i would talk to your husband, and then have a diacussion with bonus daughter about it. I agree NO DICE. Esp considering the history between you and bio mom.
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I would feel some type of way to screw all these people saying it’s petty, it’s your baby and she doesn’t need pics of your child so I would definitely have a talk with her about it
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There is no reason for bio mom to see pictures of just your child, but you and your child are now a part of yours step child’s life, who links you to bio mom. With this in mind there isn’t much you can do with out restrictions. Like no pictures while you are here or limits on phone time, she’s 8 and there’s no reason for her to have unlimited time and access to everything on line. Not sure why an 8 year old has a phone, especially in your house. Unfortunately, bio mom has given it to her, and your husband should be the one making the rules, because even though you are the stepmom you have less rights than a babysitter.
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That’s her sibling, I think it’s messed and petty I could see if she was sending them to strangers but she’s showing off her sibling to her mom. Maybe my family is just weird and we don’t act like anything but close friends and family because we have children me bio dad step mom and step dad. We work as a unit and it would be weird for one of us to do that the other.
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There’s no reason an 8 year old needs a phone period. You do NOT have to allow it during your parenting time.
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I’m sure there’s more to the story then what you shared and we don’t know the bio moms side either but your daughter is sharing pics of her sister…shes proud of having a sister. Why make a big issue? It’s not necessary.
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I would talk with dad and then both of you talk with her about sending pics of her baby sibling to others. While it is nice she is happy about her younger sibling she needs to know about not sending out her pictures
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Lol the bikini thing cracked me up. Who cares. Her privates are covered. 
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Pretty gross to see how many people in here think it’s okay to crush a little ones excitement over their sibling based on jealous feelings towards the ex. Grow up, all of you.
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That’s her sister and she’s just showing her off, being the proud Big Sis. What exactly is it that you think this woman is going to do with the pics?
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She is proud of her sibling. I dont think its that serious until you can guarantee its being done to be malicious. I think this is innocent.
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Do you take and have pictures of her daughter ?. . If you do , then you can’t feel uncomfortable . It is the sibling .
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So because this mom wore a bikini to a pick up, your step daughter can’t show off her new sibling to her mom? It’s not about you. It’s not about her. It’s about the child. If she gets excited about her new sibling then why can’t she show her off to her mom? You sound petty. You’re mad at the mom for “causing stress” so you punish the child and say “then she can’t see pictures of my child.” Who cares?!
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I am so sorry for all the backlash you’re getting just by asking a question. Your feelings are valid. And if you don’t want another person having pictures of your child then that’s 10000000% understandable and shouldn’t even be questioned. And for those who said oh you have pics of the 8 year old… well you also take care of the 8 year old… soo 
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- pick your battles…it’s a photo of her new sibling, she’s obviously proud of.
- Stop giving this woman your energy. Getting all riled up over her antics doesn’t affect her at all-but it robs you of your peace and your joy. Not worth it.
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Try to put yourself in your daughter’s place. She’s no a big sister and loves the baby. She’s showing someone she loves, her mother, the baby sibling she loves. Bio mom is a huge part of this little girls world, life, existence and so is the baby.
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With being in some sort of the same issues with my now 14 year old step daughter that I have raised with her father since she was 2 I would feel the same, sending pictures to her bio mom or that side of the family of her 5 siblings. Maybe petty to some but unless you know the entire situation you do what you feel is right for yourself and YOUR child.
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That is her sibling I don’t see the issue but I understand where you are coming from
Don’t let this woman live rent free in your head. There are some things you can control, and others things you can’t control. Pick your battles and let go of the rest. It’s hard, I know, but it’s the healthiest thing for everyone including yourself.
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I don’t think it’s something you should make a big deal about… there’s not much harm that can be done from her showing off pictures she takes of her sister…
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Who cares if she wears a bikini? Hundreds of women wear bikinis daily workout covering. Has he never been to a beach or pool before?
What did any of that have to do with a child sending a parent photos of their half sibling?
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I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But people can change. And grow… She is always gonna love her bio mom… And when she gets older if your not the bigger person she is gonna go with her and never think about you… (I have a now almost 17 yr old step daughter) me always trying to do whata best for me and bio mom. Even when it wasnt easy. Bio mom started coming around when my SD was 13.
Nothing wrong with that
Nta . As a stepmom we have had to put boundaries in place . They have been asked to show our house on FaceTime , etc so ya no - totally feel OP on this one .
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The new baby is her sibling, let her share her pride with her momma. It’s not wrong or unnatural that you feel a little iffy about it, but please don’t stop her from sharing the baby (pics), it’s her way of bragging.
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I get where your coming from but I also understand the daughter. She’s young & she’s proud of her baby sibling. I would suggest allowing one or two photos during the week. If the mom ever brings up any negativity about those photos then I’d stop the photos. That being said, don’t listen to everyone going on & on about not letting the sister take pictures b/c you clearly stated that your problem isn’t the pictures. It’s the ex having the pictures. Reading comprehension is difficult for alot these days.
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Not allowing her to, seems like it would create negativity in your home…. Why not let her be proud of her sister and show her mom. Who cares what her mom MIGHT say on the other side of the phone…
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you are wrong she is proud of her baby sister. pick your battles and this is one that I would let it go.
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She’s got a new toy she has to test it out see how good it is she needs other things to take photos of maybe take her to a nice park or something and show her how she cam take nice photos of other things, she’ll get bored of it soon.
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