Am I wrong for telling my husband that we should've not bought Christmas presents for his nieces and nephews while we go in debt for buying presents for our own kids?

My husband's side of the family is big his siblings have lots of kids in all its around 20 kids. My side its only two. Every year we all buy all the kids presents and they get our kids presents. This year he told me that his siblings are tight on money and won't be buying Christmas presents for our kids He said we could still buy "small" presents for them this year. Now we are not so good on money either. So since im the breadwinner I spent around 400$ in all for the gifts for his family. When we were to buy our kids presents they chose pricy gifts and I didn't have enough so I charged 1,000.00 on my credit card. I told him it is not right that we got into debt by buying gifts to his siblings kids when they would not buy our kids back. I also told him his siblings will not get into debt or set aside from their kids gift budget or get their kids something cheaper to buy gifts for our kids. Now he got all offended and said to return the gifts or tell me how much i spent so he could pay me back. I just think he wants to boast to his family that we are always good on money and its me that makes the money and spends.
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It’s a little late this year but next year you might want to do Secret Santa type thing. Each person writes their name and 3 things they might like. All the adult names go in one hat. All the kids names go in another hat. Each adult picks 1 adult name plus and equal number of kids names. For example: there are 5 adults and 10 kids. Each adult would get one adult name and 2 kids names. A friend of mine did this with his family and it made things a lot easier. You also have to agree to a spending limit for each adult and child.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I wrong for telling my husband that we should've not bought Christmas presents for his nieces and nephews while we go in debt for buying presents for our own kids?

Broke people who have no money love to pretend their spouses money is theirs

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A family that big should do secret Santa

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Personally if my family isn’t good on money, we don’t buy for extra people, even if that is our siblings and nephew. If I was told none of them were getting the kids gifts I wouldn’t waste my time or money getting them any, especially if it puts you in to debt

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Yikes !!! 20 nieces and nephews is a lot. I say maybe each family gets a board game to share. My second option would be to buy each kid a gift at the dollar store if I couldn’t afford it. That’s a lot ! I definitely wouldn’t go in debt over Christmas.

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With bigger families I think a gift exchange would be much more practical than buying for each kid. Maybe try that next year.

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I only got my nephew and daughter gifts and that’s because both of them will no longer be only children next year and they’re little kids. Once you hit 13+ I feel like presents are not a necessity

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Christmas isn’t about gifts and people
Need to remember the real reason for the season.

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I mean y’all are literally showing that you don’t care about to true meaning of Christmas. You could of put your foot down and said no. You know it’s wrong to go into debt. If y’all can’t afford it, and they can’t afford it then why can’t it just be an all around thing of no presents just family time.

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His family should draw names among the children as a group an exchange gifts as adults it would make it much easier an set a price limit on the gift amount to spend… it makes it fun an more budget friendly… an everyone still gets a gift!

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The kids should be drawing names for Christmas. That’s way too many to buy for. While I understand his want for getting them gifts he also needs to understand where that money comes from.

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I personally dont believe in going in debt for anyone for Christmas. Including my own children.

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Nope. My kids dont get something in return then we just dont exchange gifts…bc it is supposed to be an Exhange! Maybe all agree to do a family get together instead where each person brings a side or dessert and just get together and let the kids play for the holidays?. Dont have to exchange gifts. Could have wrapped up coloring books and crayons and exchanged those…for teens adult coloring book with gel pens…and everyone could have afforded that i think. Have to do it for my kid’s school every year…low money gift that is fun for kids to exchange…

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We had a large family growing up and had about 15 kids all together. At thanksgiving all us cousins would draw names and that’s who we had to buy for. Normally a $30 limit. Much better then buying for each kid. Then all the adults would white elephant.

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We always drew names for Christmas, it was fun. But, my grandma would always give extra money to those with more kids… have a price limit or make presents.

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Shop wiser? Teach your children about being materialistic and that Christmas doesn’t always have to be so extra. I mean they do have birthdays as well. Also, since your side is smaller are you still getting them? If so, I understand his frustration. You’re talking about him being immature bc he wants to pay you back, but you felt the need to make a point you’re the breadwinner as if that makes your point more valid. Seems like y’all are the type of people who can’t appreciate being thought of with the simplest of gifts.

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Dont be used by him or his family.Buy for your family no gifts exchanged with his family your family first.Your bread winner.Stand firm.

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I remember growing up. I had a lot of cousins on both sides of my family and we would always put our names in a hat and draw who we would buy for it made it a lot easier for everyone.

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Have all the nieces and nephews draw names! Then make a limit of say $20! Then everyone gets 1 gift.

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I so agree with you I think it his family should buy for your kids even if its small but I wouldn’t go in debt for anyone

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So, all the kids under 13 could’ve gotten a $10 gift card & life goes on. :woman_shrugging:
I’d have blown a gasket over that. Stuff is getting more expensive & it’s ok if y’all can’t but for everyone.
I’d return it all, get gift cards for younger kids & pay off my cc.
*We don’t have credit cards. Paid them off years ago. Cash, save or we don’t get it. :wink:

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On my family we drew names. Mom, Dad, 7 children and spouses with their children were a lot of gifts. We started drawing nMes after Dad died. Hecwoukdn’t have lived the idea. Mom wasn’t in thevdrawing because she got for everyone. We set the agevfir the drawing at 16. 15 and under all got gifts and they had to say if they wanted to be in the drawing. We set the limit at between $15 to $20 valus so if we found a sake we could get the gift.

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Ok the flip side of the husband’s thinking might have something to do with the financial situation of his family when him and his siblings were growing up, and yes while it seems that everyone is in a tight spot right now he wants to make sure the nieces and nephews don’t feel like him and his siblings felt growing up. His comment to return them or tell him the cost comes from his pride being hurt because I’m sure you threw it in his face that you are the bread winner.

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Next time just don’t do it, unless by then if he is working,then he can do it himself, does he know the pressure he is putting on you?

It sounds like you went in debt by buying all the presents. Even the $400 you still would have went $600 in debt. You didn’t have to spend $400 on them, just like you didn’t have to spend $1k on yours especially if you knew you couldn’t afford it. I would have put my foot down or suggested a secret Santa for the whole family. Y’all are both wrong imo. Christmas isn’t about gifts, it’s about family.

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If you don’t have the money you don’t buy. Christmas is about being with family not gifts…my husband and I were gifted 100 to help buy presents for our 2 kids. We only bought for our children. My mom, dad etc all know money is tight and don’t expect gifts…they still bought for our children because that’s their babies. We’ve had a rough patch and family understands

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Maybe do a name draw next time with a price limit…Then everybody gets something! :slight_smile:
No one is left out and nobody goes in debt…Adults could do the same :wink:

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Doesn’t matter what’s under the tree …all that matters is who’s around it :heart::christmas_tree:

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Yes / no cause all kids deserve to be loved . Five below is a good store n , there’s low stores . It’s not the prices ,it’s the love behind it.

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We always buy for our nephews even if they can’t afford to buy for our kids. Now they dont get but a 10 or 20 dollar gift or gift card but I have never got mad or said we wouldn’t be getting them something because they weren’t getting ours something or couldn’t afford to. Also to spend 1,000 on your kids but complain about how much you spent on the 20 cousins is kind of ridiculous cause while that 400 may have out you in debt that 1,000 per kid of your put you in way more debt. Also seems to me like you just have an issue with his side of the family. Sorry but that’s how it seems by this entire post. I mean you could have made treats and gave as gifts the the cousins or something else just so they felt appreciated and loved without spending that kind of money.

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My family we don’t buy for anyone else’s kids only our own. Your children come first and foremost always.

ive only ever brought for my kids, Otherwise it gets way to expesive

But don’t go in a big hole. Another good ideal is stockings . You could buy big bulks of stuff for cheap n ,break down to fit in all stockings!

Pick names…it is easier and cheaper

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That is a looooooot of money for Christmas gifts…

Hope they have food on their tables… i would have skipped gift totally for everyone. Even mine.

Prioritize what’s important

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  1. You’re married. It should be family money not yours and his separate.
    2 reminding him you are the bread winner is emasculating.
    3You’re married it’s not your side versus his side.
    4 buying gifts for only the people that are buying for you is incredibly greedy.
    It’s better to give than to receive.
    $400 is a lot but it’s a little too late to fix it this time around. Communicate on a better strategy next year. Sounds to me like your husband has a big heart.
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“If they wont buy my kids gift, why should I buy their kids gifts”
Wow dramatic much. I sure as heck would be pissed you even thought that.
Maybe slowly buy gifts earlier and ahead of time instead of last minute

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Layby the presents and pay them off so you can get what you want I do this when it comes time to get a lot of stuff.

I am constantly poor and I still am surprising my partner with cologne on boxing day… I have zero in my account and I always give or make sure people have a special end to the year… they are children just buy them $5 lolly stocking honestly… children are the only ones who get to actually enjoy Christmas. I don’t even do Christmas anymore because 1 my partner is of a different religion 2 what’s the point when everyone around me is Muslim lol… so I don’t even get a Christmas at all, I am still getting him cologne as I’ve always wanted to make people feel special for the end of year celebrations… If I had the same opinion as you towards my partners family he would donate all the toys even our own kids and presents so no one gets anything…

when families get too big it’s time to gift exchange by drawing names. each kid buys for another. so if you have 3 kids, draw 3 names to buy for.

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It sounds like you forget the reason for Christmas. It is better to give then receive. And when shopping for gifts it doesn’t have to be expensive. It can be 5.00 a gift or less. And you saying you make the money that’s just wrong. It shouldn’t be your money or his money…it should be both of your money. No wonder he wants to pay you back. I’m sure he hears how you’re the breadwinner all the time.

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Baked goods as treats would be a great option. No one expects someone else to go into debt for their kids .

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we have five children in the family. we do secret santa. we don’t buy for anyone except the children.

Why don’t you guys make hot cocoa bombs or cookies??? Homemade gifts are the small gifts. Return the others and just make something with love. You shouldn’t go into debt on a holiday…

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If my sisters or sister in law said they were struggling with money I would never not buy my nieces and nephews something just because my mine won’t receive anything. It’s never about receiving, I buy because I love them.

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It’s Christmas. If you cam afford it, do it. If not, don’t. There’s no law that says you have to buy anyone anything,including your own kids!

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let him pay you back and pay off the card . problem solved !!!

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My kid is happy playing in a cardboard box with some bubbles and making a fort etc… even if we have the funds for expensive presents we’d rather be able to do day trips on weekends instead. Christmas isn’t about debt, gifts or who spends what and everyone has to get a present. If you all pitch in $20 you could have a massive ass BBQ lunch and social catch up, put the sprinkler on for the kids it’s free :wink:

We do gift exchanges or we do naughty Santa

You could buy a family gift for each set of kids like a boars game they can play together, a puzzle, a movie box night (DVD, popcorn, candy) etc so it’s more cost effective. We have done that on years we were short on money. Sometimes them spending time together and making memories is also the gift

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Yall should have done secret Santa. That’s what’s my daughters gym did with the whole team. Too expensive to buy for each individual person.

So I whent thru this for many years. My sisters all had from 4 to 5 kids n i had none. I would not buy them expensive gifts but since I had like 20 nieces n nephews it used to add up, n their parents will buy me gift.
I continue for years fir the tradition n I love my siblings s n I made way more than their parents but I also was paying for my mom’s rent food n bills the only one helping her financialy which was expensive. As I became a Christian n join a Chrsitian recovery group I learn how important is to have boundaries n not to go in debt. The straw was drawn when one of my sisters faked my signature n stole my inheritance. Don’t get in debt for buying anyone gifts. Amazob has amazing gifts like toys that r like $20 that u can buy fir 6 or 3 dollars if u could but don’t go in debt n read the book "boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud.

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People are completely missing the point here. It’s not that the poster is upset their children aren’t receiving gifts from the people they bought from it’s that she is going into debt to provide gifts though it’s not reciprocated so it’s probably not expected. Being pressured to spend money you don’t have isn’t okay. I would definitely take the gifts back and do something small for the whole family to enjoy if he is persistent on getting gifts for them. But if they aren’t doing it I’m sure they will not mind if you guys are also unable too. Christmas is about spending time together. You shouldn’t go into debt for even your own children. :heart:

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Ps u r in the right n u r responsible for protecting the family’s finances so don’t go in debt

And there are people who can’t even get their own kids Christmas we’re homeless so as long as we have a roof over our heads in a motel Im happy with that yes it breaks my heart but some things are more important than gifts and i just lost my dad to COVID on the 13th so it’s going to be even more hard without him! Cherish the time with family like someone else said make the gift you don’t have to buy it or just simply spend time with one another my kids are all I have now

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Annd this is why I personally get upset when my siblings get my kids gifts… cause as a single mom I can barely get by getting them a few gifts and what you are writing is exactly how i.assume my family feel… when I can’t afford to repay them by buying their kids gifts! If you are giving gifts to receive gifts… or to feel better about yourself… don’t do it. Especially if you Can’t afford it and if you’re going to become offended that they can’t return the favor with buying your kids gifts. In the words of the Grinch… this whole Christmas thing is… stupid, stupid… stupid. I want golf clubs, I want a pony to play with for one week… get bored and sell it to make glue. Makes no sense going broke… Especially when u feel u should get a gift for others to receive one. Save your money… return the gifts and remember Christmas is suppose to be about love, understanding, teaching and caring… not gifts!

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Why not just make sure that all the kids get gifts and not over think it. Money always comes and gets spent, let the kids be with filled with joy and the spirit of giving. The Holidays are meant to connect humanity and love

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Der kids stop it! They mightnt have it dis yr 4 der own kids next yr u might not n they cud return the favour n even if not so if u can make a kid smile do it they dnt stay small 4 long but they remember

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If I had to go in debt to get gifts for nieces and nephews because I didn’t have extra money then I wouldn’t do it, I would just get gifts for my kids, I wouldn’t want to put myself in debt. You could make cookies or some kind of dessert and give it as a family gift.

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I don’t buy for my nieces or nephew’s
My brothers and sisters get a phone call or a txt message
My married kids get one present between both of them
My grand kids get a $50 gift card
Your kids gotta come before his extended family

So if you didn’t spend 400 on 20 other kids you would have charged 600 in gifts for your 2 children? I think there are so many opportunities for lessons here… giving is better than receiving. We don’t give with the intent to receive. Christmas is not supposed to put you in debt and less can be more.

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Your children only chose expensive gifts and you went 1000 into debt to buy them? Seriously, set a limit and learn to say no, they will be more grateful in the long run. Buy cheaper presents for family or make something. The best gift you can give your children is the gift of giving, stop being so damn selfish. We have 7 children, I’ve not even spent 1000, I explained to my children that santa can’t afford to buy for the billions of children in the world so he sends parents a bill afterwards so not to expect everything on their list because we just can’t afford to pay him for it all. We have a budget of 50 per child and they will grow up better for it than they will if we spoil them! I buy for close family too, my parents, my partners parents, my siblings, his siblings, and nieces and nephews. Their budgets are between 5 and 10 each. Its not about how much you spend it’s the thought that counts. Too many people have forgotten this and made a very ruined, depressing, ungrateful, materialistic world!

Do a secret Santa with them?

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Also think about the people that lost their home and they have nothing! My kids have donated money from their dad to help the tornado victims and they’re family because they have literally nothing! I rather them have what I already have even if it’s temporary a home! Food clothes my heart breaks for them!

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It this time of year about giving and not reviving. Are you not suppose to be teaching your kids that giving is more rewarding than receiving !

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Secret Santa is the answer… Seriously. Plus it’s fun sorta

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I feel where you’re coming from. It’s the principal behind it. That’s a lot of kids to buy for. Money comes and goes but never break yourself. They’re not willing to bend backwards for your kids I wouldn’t for theirs plain and simple UNLESS they really are poor and struggling hitting hard times.

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Dollar tree has lots of cheap great gift ideas. For girls get pair of gloves or socks and fill them with a few things like a face mask, foot mask, lotion, perfume, nail polish clippers files etc, hair ties, candles, makeup, lip gloss, candy, bath bombs, body wash etc. They have toys, coloring books, crafts etc for younger kids, and for the guys a pair of gloves or socks or a coffee mug and fill it with jerky, slim Jim’s, candy, hot cocoa, cologne, body wash, chapstick, clippers, car air fresheners, flash light, etc. It doesn’t have to be expensive. My family did this when I was younger since there was a lot of grand kids, and we were always happy just to get something even if it was small it’s the thought that counts and we always traded and swapped gifts with our cousins if they had a flavor lipgloss you wanted and vice versa lol. Our favorite part was just having everyone together getting to see and play with everyone.

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Never go into debt for gifts just to make someone feel good Or be afraid that they’ll get mad if you don’t give them something.

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We haven’t this year :disappointed:
It was so hard last year sending packages overseas for numerous kids in a certain time frame and was very very costly.
We have only one child and she’s only get presents from her grandmother we’ve realised so since then we’d stopped buying for everyone.

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We all used to do the same, but now since there’s so many, we either draw names at thanksgiving for the kids, or each parent brings one gift per child according to gender, then they swap with like a $5-$10 limit… so, where it used to cost us hundreds, I think this year was like $30 for my side.

His side has 20 kids​:flushed::confused: He should give you back at least $200. His family is way to big they should do a secret Santa. And talk about this now and what your plan is next year put your foot down unless he is going to be the one buying gifts. And he should be helping to buy your children gifts. Everything shouldn’t be on you.

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I would of bought a box of sweets for each house that’s really unfair if u have to look after the spending of it and for your kids. Next year make him get there presents if he wants to

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Is it just me or is $1400.00 on gifts seem crazy expensive? I’m not bashing or anything if that’s what you want to do then by All means do that. I also have 10 nieces and nephews. I don’t always buy for them but when I do I limit it to one 5 dollar toy per kid.

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Extended family below 18 get gifts, no one else. Christmas is for kids. Once your 12 you get clothes usually or a need.
I aint going broke buying my own kids stuff let alone someone else’s sorry. Have your kids make their kids presents…picture frames/sign for their door etc. If they aren’t those type of people will sucks to be them guess they aint getting nothing. I have had 2 past deaths on 23 and now 2 deaths this year this month. I aint got time for petty crap arguing over money etc. Its for the kids, make sure the kids are happy. Your kids not Tommy’s kids up the road. So someone else’s got to get gifts from everyone why don’t yours? I think your husband is not 1000000% fair. I think you are being honest about money why go in the hole such and such when you could have only went certain amount. Growing up my parents bought gifts for so many, but if that year we got nothing in return the following year they took the hint will we aren’t going gift exchange anymore so move on.

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So a few years ago when I was with my ex we did like a secret Santa type thing for the adults and we all had young kid’s so we brought a book for each kid we have and then the books were numbered and then the kid drew a number and that was the book they got it was so much easier and cheaper than having to buy for everyone

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Since it was an issue for his family as well do what we did…every kid brings 1 gift to the gathering…roll a dice. Make rules roll a 1,3, or 6 and chose a wrapped gift from the pile. Once you are holding a gift- that you have now unwrapped…from your 1,3, or 6 you continue taking turns to roll the entire time. If you roll a 2 or 5 you can trade your gift from anyone- whether they like it or not. In the end you buy 1 gift per kid or adult(*adults played too!) It’s fun and wastes some time that kids could be bored or is just used chatting or whatever. If you don’t attend no gifts. Sorry that’s how the dice rolls. I’d suck it up this year n just fix it for next year.

Honestly it shouldnt matter if his family is buying for ur kids or not u give presents to do something nice not to except something in return!!! You all should have had a discussion and said no presents for anyone if that was the case way before a week before Christmas…they straight up said they couldnt buy and you should have did the same I’m sorry but that’s on you

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The gift of giving season. :woman_shrugging:t2:. Relax.

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Never get into debt especially for 1 day out of the year. I have friends who have big families and do secret santa. Or could you give every child a selection box?

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I have two kids, and they are getting less than normal. I refuse to go into debt over gifts. My.kids are taught to be grateful for what they get.

I also give to my nephews and nieces every year regardless. They are children.

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I think it’s weird that y’all seem to separate your finances, what’s his is yours and what’s yours is his.

Anyways, aside from that do family gifts one present per family, or just agree with your husband and take the presents back. Anyways, it shouldn’t be about “they wouldn’t do it so why should we” it should just be because you genuinely want to. Don’t go into debt for them though, that’s just ridiculous. Just make Christmas special for your kids. I’m sure family will understand :blush:

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Everything isn’t tit for tat and you can’t do for your extended family just because they have fewer members vs his. And you can’t expect him to be okay with not getting his family gifts because they don’t get your kids gifts, you give a gift to give, not to get a gift. Teach your children by example. Next year set a budget of how much to spend on other people, probably around $10 per person. The rest of your budget should be for your kids.
And your money is his money and vice versa. Your family is his family and vice versa.

I’m pregnant and have a 2 year old son

I didn’t spend a dime on any kids that weren’t mine just like I wouldn’t expect anyone else to go out of their way for my child if they were having money troubles

In my family you buy for your own damn kids and if you wanna give gifts they should be to the parents of the other households because they’re gonna be focused on their kids instead of themselves.

Idk thats just how it works for my family

So I don’t think Christmas is supposed to put you in debt. I feel like that might be the opposite of Christmas spirit. I mean it’s cool to see the kids smile and shit but in the long run I think they’re probably going to remember whether or not they had a roof and food and electricity more than what they got for Christmas one year.

Just because your kids want expensive gifts doesn’t mean you have to get everything they want. Going in debt for Christmas is not smart. It is not all about the gifts. There are plenty of kids who don’t get gifts at all or not fancy ones if they do, but a lot of them do at least something special with family. The quality time is more precious I think.
My husband was one of those kids. He actually says he has a ton of fond memories of Christmas despite little gifts. He wants it to be the same for our kids.

Maybe could have them at least work towards items that they want that are more expensive so you’re not at least going into debt for Christmas to give them what they want. That might be something to suggest and compromise with husband. Another idea is to gift your children 3 things. 1. A want (pick 1 more expensive gift instead all of them) 2. A need (clothes for example) 3. Something educational (like book)
And if you get no gifts for his side of family I would suggest not buying any for yours either just because there is less. Your husband could really resent you if you do.

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One, you’re married, so the money is both of yours, regardless who works/makes more… and two, Christmas isn’t about what you get in return. I buy my nieces and nephews Christmas gifts each year even though they aren’t always buying my children presents. I buy because Im their aunt and love them and it’s Christmas.

Maybe if you’re really bothered by spending the extra money, and his family is low on money, next year, each family can have a certain budget, or turn it into secret Santa, each child picks a name from a hat, and then buy for only those names and let the kids exchange.

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I think if they aren’t doing presents then you shouldn’t do presents :thinking: or do a secret Santa, all the kids names go into a hat and they all pick one out that way it’s a bit more fair plus have a limit.

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Your correct, ive never got in debt for xmas, if i dont have the funds then its tough, i say we are not exchanging gifts as we cant afford it, but id just get a small selection pack for ÂŁ1 just to wrap or a tube of sweets, its the thought that counts, and its about family time not gifts

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If it’s something that means a lot to him, then what’s the issue. Seems like a control thing. You are the bread winner so he has zero say over finances right ? I mean we all go over board around Christmas time just to make everyone happy. Life goes on ?

Been their done that family always and only calls when they need money it seems or they are in a hard spot :woman_facepalming:t3::woman_shrugging:t3:we have spent a lot on my husband nephews one year and we’re our selves we’re not doing hot but their parent’s were even worse and told them they were no long celebrating Christmas because they couldn’t afford it and I just couldn’t stomach that we didn’t even get a thank you :woman_facepalming:t3: ugh we would do it again be they are kids but still kills me I made my husband spend a lot on his one nephew but this kid has had a very very hard life honestly to the point where I have thought about adopting him more then a handful of times but it would be a court battle and we aren’t made of money I had to do stuff to make sure his gifts would not be pawned ect you get my point and Probably will never stop spending on that baby but you know what he’s so great full for the little things it’s heart breaking food ect I think it comes down to that is it truly a need or is it a want or an attention thing I don’t like telling people we buy gifts because honestly then everyone else gets upset that they didn’t get one I’m the crazy lady that hides them in the back seat of a car with a to child sticker from Santa 🧑‍:christmas_tree::christmas_tree::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Buying for that many kids should definitely be on a budget. However just because your kids aren’t getting gifts from them, shouldn’t be a factor if they get gifts from you or not. If things are tight maybe a few cheap small gifts or even something home made. You can’t go into debt for kids that aren’t yours, especially to boast about your financial situation … I’m hoping that’s not your hubbys intent. Either way, best of luck.

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Why not have a 15 grab bag If you have 3 kids you buy 3 non generic gift A book a sweat shirt, socks all totaling $15 and kids pull a number & that is the order that they pull gift. We also play that they can steal twice before it’s done lots of fun and the bank is not broken

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Christmas should never be about gifts that put you in debt. A small INEXPENSIVE gift for nieces & nephews (maybe a “family”gift for all) and then take care of your own but again even with your own DON’T put yourself in debt. It’s sad that many think that Christmas is about gifts.

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If the family decide not to buy presents then you shouldn’t buy them, you need to come to an agreement with family and maybe say every year we will all do a secret santa for all the kids, I dont agree with going into debt for xmas presents

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Start Christmas shopping all year. After Christmas get stuff that’s on clearance, like games and stuff. Holiday sweaters a size or two bigger than what they’re in now. Then throughout the year, pick up stuff you know they’d like. Secretly listen to them talking to each other about what they wish they had and buy it. Every month or so get em each a gift. This way you’re spreading it out, they’ll have an excellent Christmas and you aren’t going into debt. I started doing that this year. I was able to get more stuff for them than I ever have before and I still have a comma in my bank account. Because of this, this is the first time in YEARS that I’ve been able to get for our nieces and nephews.

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Why bring it up and take issue with it when you’ve already spent the money? You should have probably voiced your concerns then. What’s the point of bringing it up now? :woman_shrugging:

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Tbh doesn’t matter if you have 2 neices or nephews and he has 100 if you buy for 1 you buy for all just how it is !! I gave all.my neice and nephews money an told my siblings not to buy for my kids as I’ve sorted it same way you didn’t have to spend that much on ya own kids if you didn’t wanna get into debt it may come across that ya digging his side of family out and that probs why he not happy I could be wrong just going off what you’ve said but Xmas is Xmas you won’t be the first nor last to get into a lil debt isn’t end of world is one day a year ya easily pay that back throughout year but comes across like ya blaming his side yano he did say small gift so the fact ya spent 400 is on you really not him anyway try to enjoy the day knowing all kids are happy healthy x

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