Hello, I’d like to ask some advice from some other moms. I’d like to remain anonymous. My husband and I separated almost a year ago. 2 months ago he met someone and moved in after a month. We have no custody order and he has always seen her every other weekend and one day a week, at least. More If he asks or wants her. After he met his gf he continued his visitation at his moms where he had been living, however his gf bought a house over an hour away from our child. He moved in a few weeks ago and I told him I didn’t feel comfortable with our daughter spending the night but bc were heading for custody court I consulted with my lawyer and she said not to keep her from her dad no matter how I felt. I would also like to add his gf has two kids and one of the kids is a teenage boy, which was part of my concern besides the fact that it’s a new relationship and my ex and I are not even divorced yet and this is the 3rd woman he’s dated and had our child around. I had asked that he go slow with introducing our daughter which he did not do. Our communication is awful and we constantly argue bc my ex has switched to evening so he is no longer able to take our daughter when he used to. He suddenly asked for 50/50 custody and I told him I have no idea how that would work when he works from 4p to 2a. He said his gf would watch our daughter while he is at work and while he sleeps in the morning. I do not feel comfortable with that. I have told him he can see her any morning he wants besides when she is at daycare which is 2 days a week. And he can have her every other weekend as usual and that if he wants her more we can work on it. I’m work 3 12 hour shifts so I’m able to be home with her 4 days a week. He thinks that Bc my grandmother watches her those two nights until 8p that it’s equivalent to his gf watching her 3 or 4 nights a week. So my question is, would you feel comfortable with your ex’s girlfriend of two months watching your daughter that many nights a week and alone? I truly want to know if I’m being unreasonable. I haven’t met her despite asking to and I have spoken to her once just a hello via text. She seems like she is a nice person and it’s mostly bc she’s new to me and our daughter, who is two by the way. One day if they’re still together and serious and everyone is used to each other I would reconsider for sure. But it’s all so new I feel like we all need time.
What is the point of 50/50 if he is literally not going to be there. Bringing people in and out of hwr life isn’t healthy. Being an hour away isn’t conducive to 50/50 custody. Especially when she is of school age. This isnt a long term solution.
You need to meet her and her kids… Especially if this relationship is getting serious. I’m sure he wants to keep her just as safe as you do. Maybe you guys could meet up and get lunch or dinner when exchanging your child.
You will never be able to fully control who he has your guys’ daughter around unless you have full legal and physical custody. If these are your only concerns, you likely have no grounds for that.
Stop trying to control him and her fully and work with him. Meet the girlfriend and meet the kids. Not everybody is bad.
Send her a message and ask to get together for coffee, I think she would appreciate that and then go from there
So some of both you should definitely ask if you guys could meet up and get to know each other and also have a real conversation include her in it let her know you simply do not know her and your daughter is young so maybe this is a schedule you could work towards ( like in the future). Many parenting agreements have right to first refusal so basically if the parent cannot be there you have first rights to take care of the child . This would go both ways .
Well I can certainly see where trust issues abound! But you are great for trying to do the right thing! It’s a bit problematic but I sure don’t see why, if everyone is on the same page, it can’t work out juyst fine! I would definitely have boundaries, and YOU make the rules! But going forward, it’s a start. The bottom line for me is always, always trust your instincts. If it feels wrong in any way, it probably is! And I do believe women have a special knack for this, mothers and just , females in general, I think they know.
I watch my partners daughter and spend most of his visitation with her due to his work schedule. HOWEVER I myself made it a rule that I wanted to meet her mom first before I met her. That it had to be a serious relationship interest and not a fling. I also have a child and have my reserves about the situation as well. Would his child possibly become more of a priority over mine due to my child not being his? Would I be falsely accused of things due to mom being concerned? Would I be forced into uncomfortable conflicts? I laid these boundaries out with him, and sat down with her mother. We addressed I’m not here to be her child’s mother. I’m not here to overstep or take over. I’m here because I love her father, and I love her as well because they’re a package deal. Am I going to treat your child like they are not mine? Absolutely not because I refuse to let that child feel less loved or left out. However, will I say I’m mom and over step boundaries? No, I’ll help where I’m needed and the child will be loved none the less. The question is are you gonna make it a problem for the girlfriend? Not saying you are but I’m just thinking maybe you should talk to the girlfriend instead of your partner. My partners CM and I have a better relationship than he does with her lol.
Well I can understand you not being comfortable but I’m not sure you can do much about it. When it’s his time (whatever the court gives him) he can have her around whoever he wants as long as it isn’t a danger to her. Unless you can get the court to put in something where only you or him could watch her which I’m not sure if they will do or how far you want to go with this. I would try again to meet her, maybe that would make you feel more comfortable having your daughter around her.
As the girlfriend in a situation like this:
My ex had his daughter every other weekend Friday through Sunday. We lived 2.5 hours away and were driving to where mom lived and sleeping on one of his friends couch to see his daughter. Then we got an apartment across town from where mom lived, but he started 2 jobs one of which was night shift and weekends which meant it was me who took care of his daughter Friday and Saturday night while he was at work. Mom didn’t like it at first, but later on down the road she was grateful I was there to watch the daughter and take care of her.
Give dad a break and don’t try to control who he has around the child or how his custody visits go. This girl doesn’t mean any harm to your child. Plus it sounds like you are having someone watch your child while you work so that’s not any different than him having someone watch the child while he works.
ETA: dad and I have since divorced and no longer speak, but mom and I stay in touch because we became civil for daughters sake and made a bond.
If this is your ex GF then he should not leave the child with her. This is his kid.
A big fat no from me.
I don’t see this as “controlling” the father. I see it as trying to make sure your daughter is safe. As of now you don’t have court ordered custody, so you could keep your daughter away unless you know it’s her father there to watch her. Would that be right? It honestly just depends on your full situation. If the girlfriend seems nice, you need to meet her and her children. The reason I say her children is because one is a teenager and you need to see how he is around your daughter (since you are concerned). I don’t think you should keep your daughter away but I think you need to meet everyone.
The biggest thing I can advise you is to talk to your daughter about her private areas. Make sure she knows that no one should touch her and if someone does that she needs to tell you. I know she’s 2 but if you explain this to her, she might come and tell you. This is the time to get books about these things so that it’s instilled at an early age what abuse is and that it’s wrong and she should tell you.
You need to befriend her and get to know her especially if she is involved in your ex’s life and now you child’s. The best thing you can do to make all these adjustments easy for your child is to co parent peacefully.
It’s as simple as you don’t get to control what dad does on his parenting time. So for your daughters sake work out a situation you all agree on and stop being controlling.
Hell no. Just 2 months? He better wait at least 6months to even know if they are staying together first. What type of example is he setting if he brings her around every gf? 
Absolute no until then and until you meet her.
Honestly, from a legal standpoint, yes your being unreasonable. Her Dad has PR too, he is legally and morally allowed to choose who watches her, just like your allowed to. I get your concerns, I really do, but it just seems controlling. He’s allowed 50/50, and what he does on that time really isn’t for you to say. Now if he had a history of drug or alcohol abuse, criminal past, anything to indicate that she would be unsafe, that would be different. But just not knowing the woman, and not approving of him having multiple girlfriends isn’t grounds.
Invite her out for coffee, make friends. But don’t try to control the situation or act like you have any say in the matter of whether the gf babysits, because legally you don’t.
If this is the type of thing that leads to arguments with your Ex I’d seriously think about checking yourself and biting your tongue. There just isn’t any point chewing them out for things that you don’t approve of but legally don’t have a say over, it just leads to animosity. Better to smile and be friends, even if you don’t agree with what they’re doing. Unfortunately I do think as separated parents we do have to change our expectations.
Fight him in court on the 50/50. I wouldn’t agree to it under those conditions. There’s no reason for her to be with his gf if she can be with you.
You have to trust that he wouldn’t have her around someone who would put her in danger. While I don’t agree with kids being subjected to meeting every single person their parent dates, legally there is nothing you can do about it.
I’ve seen this from the other side I was the woman my stepkids mother didnt want her kids to be looked after by and refused to let them come during holidays if their dad was working etc. His life has moved on as has yours and he can’t and shouldn’t keep the two elements of his life separate. I do have kids now myself and I can understand how hard it is to see another woman “filling your spot” but she may end up being a positive presence in their life and you should hope that as they are a part of each others lives that they build a loving and respectful relationship don’t worry they won’t ever see her through the same eyes that they see you. Honestly I would discuss meeting up and try and have a civil relationship for the sake of your kids work with each other not against each other.
I dont see whats tje point of 50/50 if he’s at work and then sleeping all day
You don’t get to say how he makes his decisions and how he parents his own daughter while she’s with him. You no longer control his decisions. If the father is wanting 50/50 that’s amazing and I hope he’s granted it as long as he is deemed fit to parent, which I don’t see why he wouldn’t be. A dad actually wanting to be included in his child’s life and not just an every other weekend dad is great. Hopefully you don’t try to keep that from him or your daughter.
Yeah that’s a solid no for me. Not after Dad has only known her for 2 months. I trust maybe 5 people with my children wholeheartedly. I keep seeing comments about control but honestly Momma you have EVERY right to be concerned about who your child is left with. This goes the same way for Dad if you were to move in with a guy you met 2 months ago and expected this STRANGER to watch your daughter. Follow your gut!
Now, moving forward maybe you can move in baby steps. Sit down with said gf and express your concerns. If she is a mother then she should appreciate that! Have dad work his way up up overnights at gfs house. Maybe do so many days at grandparents with dad and 1 night at gfs until everybody is better adjusted.
To me i dont like the in and out men/girls with kids. They build relationships fast to them. BUT dont keep her away just bc of that just maybe compromise and maybe get her number so u can communicate with her know whos shes around better then him lying about whos watching her. Document anything thats weird or off. Until court. Im a step mom and i sorta got roped in quick. I didnt not have kids at the time. Shes my world. 5 years later and a brother now. Communicate if its hard then i get that part me and my step daughters mom are pretty cool with eachother i even watch her other kids when needed. Try to compromise and see if she/he will comply with that.
If there is no court ordered agreement he cant demand anything and you dont jave to do anything…if it’s not him with his kid he doesnt need to have her because hes not spending the time with her anyway, so I’d tell him to go suck a lemon and get over it…you dont trust his Mrs cause you do not know her…end of story
It’s not your business what he does on his time. If he is wanting 50/50 and is not an alcoholic/druggie/abuser, he will get it. Stop trying to control him. That’s probably a big reason why you two got divorced. And remember when you want to have a guy around your child. No double standards.
Maybe I’m the odd one out but I’m gonna be honest. It is hard for me to like other people’s kids 
I have babysat many kids in the past, 3 being my ex’s kids from his previous marriage. I have had to stop watching kids because I knew my patience was wearing thin. With my ex, his oldest was adopted and she was a teenager. We became like friends so it made it so much easier but I had a hard time with his youngest two. I know my limits and I would never abuse a child but I also know that plenty of other people do not know there limits and/or wouldn’t think twice about abusing child. All this said the relationship is too new, the teenage son makes me nervous and there is no way my child would be babysat by someone I haven’t met let alone someone who could feel a certain type of way about my child or myself because of the past relationship. His new girlfriend you haven’t met watching your daughter is in no way comparable to your grandma, who you’ve probably known your whole life, watching her. It’s just not.
I dont feel like you are being unreasonable. After all, she hardly knows your child. Yes, she has kids of her own and probably knows what shes doing and hell, she will probably be great to her. BUT as a mom, and as someone who left their children’s father, I didnt even allow my new boyfriend to care for my kids without me present until I was with him for a year. You have to take precautions as a parent and I think its justified.
In my eyes she has kids so she can. It’s also a way for your kid to be around her dad when he wakes up. If he had custody and you met a man how would you feel if he said you couldn’t because you fell in love?
I would suggest you meet her, get to know her. If they live far away, talk on the phone and truly get to know her. I think that would ease a lot of your anxiety.
I’m sorry people are so crass with their comments. I don’t think you’re being controlling, because I’ve shared with my ex that until our daughter can speak fluidly, I’d like to meet anyone he will have around her and vice versus for me too. It’s hard, coparenting. Being away from our babies is hard, and it sucks, but it is what it is. See if you all can meet or even meet one on one with her. Have a conversation, educate her about your baby’s likes/dislikes/routine and give her your number so she know that if anything happens she can call you too. I think you’re being a normal, concerned, caring mom who is also conscious of not wanting to keep her away from her father.
I hate to say it but this is not up to you to decide what and who he has watching his kids. I have had boyfriends and my ex hated it but i made sure my kids were always safe as I’m sure he will do the same. The judge told me if he wants the kids to go by his brothers while he works it’s ok. As long as she’s not in harms way let her be with dad. It’s a hard adjustment for all of you for sure.
Do NOT give him 50/50. It will screw you in the long run
I’m glad y’all are going to court. Stop trying to micromanage what goes on when he has his visitation. He sounds like he takes care of his child, what makes you think he would leave his child with anyone who would hurt that child! It doesn’t matter what you feel. It wouldn’t matter what he feels when you have a partner around the child. I hope he gets 50/50! It’s awesome to have a father around more than just every other weekend. The court doesn’t care about your feeling, just that the child is taken care of and not in harms way.
Nope! Fire your lawyer, get another, demand to know who this woman is and wait for court to set custody in place. So the judge is aware of your concerns write a letter to them. Explain he hasn’t let you meet her, and that alone is enough to question allowing your child to stay there… On top of that the child has no idea who these people are. You don’t have to trust her at this point … He’s been with her 2mos. Be sure to make that clear.
Offer to him to let the gf her fam and him to come by … So it’s at your daughters home and she can ease her way for comfort with them.
Maybe you and the new gf should go to dinner or out for drinks to become acquainted
The courts are going to tell you what he does on his time is his business. He can have whoever he wants watch her 
as for 50/50 that’s her dad regardless. Yes he works … Do you work? Looks like you might and have a baby sitter, whether it’s your grandmother or not she is still with someone other than you. If you want to meet the girl, ask her to meet up with you.
And you two were married … He should have just as many rights to your child as you do
Ive never experienced this so I personally dont know how I would react. However, I have seen many relationships that ended and they had to coparent. Ive seen it done well and not so well. I personally would want to meet her and would want to be able to communicate with her personally. Both of you need to be an adult about it and keep the childs best interest in mind. Dont keep her from her father but perhaps start slow? Let her stay the weekend over there and see how she likes the girlfriend and her kids. Talk to her and see how she feels about watching her. Maybe she truly wants to be involved and make this work. Maybe its him pushing it on her. Feel it out but dont keep her from her dad.
You are in the right I would not be ok with it either especially since they have only been together for 2 months you have never met her and they live so far away.
Considering its only been 2 months and he refuses to let you meet her yes i would have concerns. This is how children die when fathers/mothers leave them with people they do not know. I’m not saying be crazy but you at least deserve to meet the person who will be taking care of her and I do believe he should have more of a relationship with her before she is put in charge of your daughter. I would say stick to your original agreement for now. Once he is with her longer and allows you to meet an get to know her then you can go forward with what will work for you and him. I’m thankful I’m married to my 3 kids dad but if we ever separated there would be no new girlfriend OR boyfriend watching our kids for a long time to many bad things happen to our babies now when they are just left with the new person in you life. But if you want to enforce this rule with him you must also follow it.
I had it put in my custody order no meeting partners until together for at least 6 months. I also had it put in that if one of us is away for more than 4 hrs, the other has to be given the option to watch her.
Meet her and get to know her for yourself. Also why would you be concerned just because her son is a teenager ??? Do you just automatically assume he would do something because he’s a teen ? I don’t understand that part ?!
Absolutely I would NOT be okay with that. I wouldn’t be letting a GIRLFRIEND keep my child over night or at all when he’s been with her 2 months. He barely knows her. I’d fight for right of first refusal, if he cannot keep her she goes to YOU and not anybody else.
For people saying the father can do as he wants, it’s his 3rd gf in a year. Its not fair to keep introducing the child to different women. I think he should wait before introducing the child to the gf.
As a stepmom who got engaged after 5 months of dating & married at just over a year of dating, I can tell you my husband’s first wife had a similar attitude towards me as you appear to have towards your ex’s new girlfriend & it made our life hell. Literally, didn’t think we would make it to our first anniversary (let alone the 10th we just celebrated)…it’s a huge strain when a 3rd party is trying to control your relationship. It also damaged my husband’s relationship with his son b/c he sensed the unease all the adults felt. Yes, I entered the relationship with a child as well so I had some reservations. I think the important thing is you reiterate you & your ex both love your child the best you can and that each house has it’s our rules. You can tell your child to let you know if they feel uncomfortable. But meeting the new woman isn’t something I’d advise. It’s weird & uncomfortable & it definitely help our situation at all.
You are not being unreasonable at all, i would never allow my daughter around strangers, the world is too evil and Corrupt.
Its been 2 months youre not able to meet her… Nope cant watch my kid… Sorry…
Everybody is quick to say yes for sure you have to get over it. But if that was a new boyfriend? If you were leaving your daughter with your boyfriend of 2 months that you decided to live with. While you are not there for the majority of time. I do not feel like people would be saying the same thing as they do now because this is a woman. Two months is not a long enough time to know anybody that well. Your concerns are valid.
I mean, he’s not spending time with his daughter if he’s working so I nobody is really keeping her from him
No! And your the mom and you owe her no explanation, you’ve never met her it’s only 2 min and he’s moving in he won’t be there , all red flags, NO!
I would not be comfortable with that at all. You are not being unreasonable, it’s a new relationship and that is your daughter and his daughter not hers. You should know who is looking after your child and be comfortable with it. If she is a mother herself then she should understand and respect that.
If she wasn’t the third girlfriend already I would MAYBE consider it. After meeting her and I would expect the right to at least have a video chat with my child on the nights she was watching her.
Hell no!!! I could never introduce every man I’m dating to my child. Let alone let that man ever watch my child just cause we are “dating”. I’m sorry but no your not being unreasonable at al!!!
Given many cases of abuse in these situations, I would let the court decide if it would be allowed
No i dont see it should be a problem for her to watch yalls kid but later on down the road. I feel their relationship is to new. And i would definitely meet the woman and want to get to know her a little better before i trust her with my child overnight
I"m sorry that thing’s don’t alway’s work out in a marriage, but I think you should get to know ur ex’s new gf before you start getting all worked out, she’s a mom herself I don’t think she would do anything to hurt ur baby,so try to get to know ex gf and try to keep open communication between you too,tell ur concerns, and i"m sure she will Understand what ur going threw and who know’s you both migth even get to be friends, get to know some one before you start thinking thing’s i"m sure he’s new gf Is a good mom,and would treat ur baby well as long as ur baby isn’t comming home to you with bruises ,or showing any other sign’s of any kind of problem’s I think everything will be ok beside’s ur baby is also ur ex baby and I think he’d ever let any body harm ur’s and his baby she need’s her Daddy to so plz Let go of any anger or hurt you have,and forgive him,and try to get along for ur baby’s sake other wise the one getting more hurt is ur guy’s baby girl, she’s still Little don’t just think of ur self think about her as well I’m sure her Daddy Love’s her just as much as you learn to forgive, and move on cuz the most important is ur baby put all negative thoughts out of ur mind and try to stop arguing with ur ex,and try to get along and don’t argue in front of ur baby I’m sure she need’s sometime to adjust to to being with you,her Daddy at different time’s she Love’s you both don’t make this hard for her or you, good Luck put ur baby first above all other situations god bless you take care
Nope 
if you can’t meet her then the kid would not be going
Meet n talk to the new gf n her kids first bf making a decision
I went through this with a friend of mine. There is nothing you can do. Unless she has a criminal record or you can prove that she is dangerous. Listen to your lawyer.
I think that if that’s what he wants, then you need to insisted that you need to spend time with her, with out the ex, and even with her kids as well, take your kid with you. Maybe a play date at a park, or something like that.
I won’t feel comfortable to leave my child with some one I don’t really know The kind of things that happen these days you don’t know who you can and cannot trust.
I myself have gone through this TWICE! with two different women. 1. my ex and I split up 7 years ago he moved in with girlfriend number 1 1 month after “dating” I went the spiteful way and it hurt mine and the first girlfriends relationship for 3 years. My son couldn’t have combined birthday parties because of the issues the first girlfriend and I had. the last two years they were together we had a great relationship!! we were all getting along! he ended up leaving her, and he moved in with another girl just a couple weeks of knowing her… i learned to try to get along, but keep in mind sometimes you can be civil with the new woman but if she does not respect you as your kids mother or care to listen to anything you have to say. set boundaries. if your having a bad feeling dont ignore it. nobody on here can tell you what you should do, the only one who can do that is you. Just keep in mind that you always have to be the bigger person and at least try to communicate. it is still hard for me but I have no say in who he has around my kids on his time unfortunately, but make sure you know whats going on and thats really all you can do. my experience is most likely completely different from yours but I’ve dealt with two women one of which I still keep in contact after they split up, we are very good friends. they say it takes a village!! just make sure that person in your village is respectful and knows you are the mother!!
I agree with your lawyer. You have to let him have his daughter especially in this situation. Unless the gf is unfit, which nothing you’ve stated in here sounds like she’s fine and it’s hard to prove she is unfit he has a right to have his daughter and he has to come up with his own childcare while he’s at work and he chose the girlfriend. No harm in doing a background check on her if you can, but you can’t keep the child from her father even if you think he will be working all the time. In a 50/50 situation someone would have to be made primary and sounds like the normal school she’s used to will be her school and he would have to make sure he has the means to get her there and if he doesn’t then that would be a no go. In that case maybe the child needs a lawyer/guardian and ad litem. Probably the only legal thing you can do at this point.
If he’s home on the weekend ok. Talk with a few different lawyers. Depending on where you live this is not an ok situation. Lots of variables here. How far away he moved. It’s his visitation not the girl friends. Your grandmother is family. Girlfriend is not. Again. Talk with a different lawyer.
I wouldn’t just for the fact that it’s a new relationship and you not knowing her. I’m the same though I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it until later on down the road if it becomes a serious relationship thing
You need to meet this woman. Spend time with her. Get to know her so you’ll know if you trust her. Its a very hard thing to do, but your baby is worth it! The more you know, the better you’ll feel.
No way, too soon, he can’t even know that much about her. Why get her use to a new person that may not even last in his life.
Try contacting his new girlfriend and set up a face to face visit with her. Your attorney is correct, don’t end visitation…you could legally come out the loser. See if the attorneys can set up some type of mediation so you can all talk about this "situation " up front…
Yes it’s too soon . Go by your gut . My ex met his (ex wife now ) and married her withb3 months of knowing her . She never had the manners to introduce herself to me or let me do so . By the point she was having problems with him she was being rude to my kids . Luckily my kids told me before it got to a serious level .
No, not yet…way to soon In my opinion. She needs to get to know the gf and be comfortable around her. If in 6months to year they are still together i’d consider letting her spend the night while dad is at home.
You have every right to that gut feeling. For that reason, I had a Paramore clause in my divorce. My children were not to meet either parents significant others until after 3 months of dating and a year before overnights. I didn’t want people coming in and out of my children’s lives. They get attached easily and broken hearted just as easily. Divorce is hard enough on children.
Absolutely not. He barely knows her much less you or your daughter. I wouldn’t be comfortable with it until you or your daughter know her better. 
I’ve sat in your situation before, so I know the anxiety. Also I’m a step mother too. So for all that you know she could be a great mother to her children and even to your child too. Dont let your anxiety determine your child’s relationship with her father n his gf despite how fast they are moving.
I moved in with my now husband after a month of being together n we have been married for 7 years now. Trust me I’ve been through all the bs baby mama drama n let me tell you most of it was in baby mamas psychotic head. Don’t be that person. If something happens then yes fully address it but as of now just leave it alone. You can’t control your ex’s life n who he chooses to be with n and who’s around them when your not around. It is what it is.
She is not only your child. She is his child also. You can not dictate who he’s around or what he does with his child while he has her.
I also wanna say PICK YOUR BATTLES. Has he ever shown poor judgement when it comes to your child? If not, give it a try.
Yes,get to know her,that is your baby,it would be like a total stranger watching your child.The safety of your child comes first.Just because the ex trust her does not mean you have too.Bet he would not like a man friend of your’s keeping the child.Too much bad shit happens these days,you are right to be concern about the teen and the girlfriend.
No I wouldnt feel comfortable with someone I barely know watching my daughter either you have a right to be concerned I would try different days or times or something or have someone there you trust to supervise
I can relate, my ex husband has had 4 different gfs in the 2 years we’ve been separated. I never met any of them and my 4 kids spent time with them. You have to just let it be. If there is suspicious activity then document it. No judge will be happy you keep your daughter from him because his gf is there. Unfortunately we don’t get to chose what our ex’s do when they have the kids. I have a live in bf and he watches my kids when I’m at work, the road goes both ways.
I have honestly never been in this situation myself but have seen alot from others around me, all I can say is trust your gut, as a mom you know what’s best for your child, good luck.
The answer is no it’s not the same… let him file and he will lose, please continue to look out for the safety of your daughter… momma instincts are always on point
I would require a background check on her…via your lawyer…and the teenager…just to make sure. I don’t allow my exes “randoms” around my kids…only because not one is consistent…I’m sure he loves your baby and wants what is best for her…but he has only been with this person for two months. I’m sorry…but the main person that will be there to protect that baby is you.
I would be so beyond nervous in this situation.
Not only is this girlfriend new & unknown to the mom, but there is a teenage boy she has never met either. In addition, this baby is two & cannot express herself if something is happening.
I am not for keeping children away from the other parent, but the dad does not seem to be thinking like he should right now.
If something happens to that baby, it can’t be taken back.
Hopefully she can talk to the dad & figure out a way to get some peace of mind.
I would voice my concerns about it to him and let him know maybe you would feel more at ease if he had his visitations at his parents house, and maybe set a time where you can meet the new girlfriend and her children and get a feel for her yourself for your own peace of mind. You will have to co parent so try to do it as peaceful as you can for your daughters sake…
I feel ya girl. I’d feel the exact same way if I was your situation. There are too many stories of an ex’s new partner hurting a small child for me to ever feel that comfortable. I would definitely wait til I got to know her better and I knew they were serious about one another and about her being my kids’ lives.
His girlfriend is a complete stranger to you, that makes her a complete stranger to your daughter. Hell she’s a brand new acquaintance of your ex so no it’s absolutely not unreasonable to be hesitant about letting her watch your child. You’re still showing your boyfriend/girlfriend only parts of yourself in a relationship that new so there’s no way he truly knows this woman. You are the voice for your child, use it wisely!
When parents decide to separate the children need to come first.Maybe you both can agree to meet each other’s mates Im sure if you had a boyfriend he would want to know who is around his daughter
I wouldnt feel comfortable for 1. And when u go to court. Ask that when she is of age that she remain in the school district she is in now, and how is he going to gwt her back and forth to school without spending 2 hours in the car every day
I would wait till they are together longer, six months or so. Get to know her. Then maybe I would consider it. See how stable the relationship is.
I dont agree with with the attorney to let him have what he wants. Your concerns are valid. Several different girlfriends. Live in situation. She will be the babysitter. Boys in the house. Etc…
I know courts that have deemed one week with her and one week with him. So 50/50 is common. I would be very concerned about a gf that he barely knows, and then add a teenage boy you know nothing of. Potentially stressful at the least and at worst possibly abusive. Make sure your attorney is on her toes. I’d tell my ex that arrangements stay the same until court. Be generous when he is off work and can take her.
The way things are nowadays I would do a background check on her and her kids and no way would I let my 2-year-old daughter go stay with him and his new girlfriend of only two months and you don’t even know her only said hi to her no way I would check into this
Nope! I would not feel comfortable at all. He can’t even know her well enough yet so I am appalled he would assume you would be okay with allowing your child to stay with her.
I would say no! You haven’t met any of them so you don’t know! I would keep my baby protected and make a plan with your ex for so.e kind of visitation but not send my baby that far away!
Sounds like he has a revolving door of girlfriends and their various children. You don’t know any of these women or anything about them, much less their children. I would speak to an attorney to find out if you can legally put a stop to this.
I’ve heard of people putting in the custody agreement that they are not allowed to bring gf/bf into the children’s lives until the child is a certain age. So that may be something to look into.
Absolutely meet that woman. Make the contact with her first and get a feel for her.
I don’t have kids myself but an ex boyfriend of mine had me meet his daughter literally days after I first met him. The mother was LIVID (rightfully so) and I was upset with him for even putting me in that satiation.
Odds are, if she’s a decent woman, she’ll understand your worries and you’ll be able to find common ground. If she’s snarky with an attitude, you can pretty much guess how she’ll respect or disrespect your boundaries with your child. I hope it works out, best of luck!
I had trouble trusting my bf with my 3 yr old son and we were together half a year and living together. We are now engaged and expecting baby number 2 and I trust him alot more now. It’s moms right to be cautious about new ppl and it should be a fathers job to be cautious with new ppl as well. I feel like if this was brought up in custody court they would tell him he could only have her during certain times or have supervised visits because he doesn’t seem to comprehend the dangers trusting anyone can have.
Be very cautious…He doesn’t really know this woman or her teenage son…You do not want to expose your little girl to someone who might harm her…Talk to your lawyer before you make any decisions…
I didnt read the whole story I stopped at girlfriend has a teenage boy…I SAY NO!!! DO NOT LET HER GO PROTECT YOUR BABY! Your ex husband does not like to be alone…That was quick…And you dont know her…Honestly I’m not even sure why you would have to ask people about this…