The fact that she’s been sick for a month and a half leads me to believe it may be more than a virus. Maybe allergies or something. The flu doesn’t last over a month
I understand wanting to switch out a weekend to avoid illness but you can’t keep her away all winter because she’s off and on sick for months
Yes you are wrong. I take my step daughter when she is sick even though it could get my son sick I still do it. Kids get sick it happens. But both parents should have to deal with a sick kid. 
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Just from reading your first question, yes, you’re wrong. Then after reading your paragraph I concluded, yes, you’re wrong.
You’re wrong to try to not allow your fiance to be with his child, for any reason.
I know you’re worried about your infant, but people with infants that have other children don’t send their sick children away bc of the baby. Don’t be that step-mom/mom.
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You def sound like a bitch…kids get sick …you obviously are a new mom 
A ton of answers on here but since a lot are judging I’ll comment. I understand both sides. I have custody of my 9 year old. she goes to her dads every other weekend. They have a 1 month old baby. If they did not want my daughter coming up sick I would understand!!! I cannot even imagine if something bad happened to a baby that I could have prevented! We r open about illnesses and do our best. If I really thought my daughter was no longer sick tho then she seemed to be at their house I wouldn’t want them to be mad tho, I’d just say lets get her back home then. I am my daughters 100% ride or die protector no matter what. Yeah her dad helped make her but he has 2 other kids now and a step son. Same with my grandparents who still do well enough to keep my daughter- elderly and infants immune systems are not the same. I will be there for my daughter no matter what, always. I take those germs or whatever everyone else gets a pass 🤷 not saying it shouldn’t be up to the dad, but I’m very protective of my kid so I can’t blame you for being protective of yours.
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What would you do if he had custody of his child? In my opinion you are being over dramatic and need to deal with it. It’s part of being a parent! Kid’s get sick, it is inevitable.
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Well I mean, that’s his kid too. So sick or not he should be able to have her with him. It would be the same if you sent your 5 week old to the other partners(theoretically speaking) and he was sick.
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You and your SO are just as responsible for your SD as his BM is. When you decided to get serious with a man with a child, you agreed to this. You can’t banish her from your house just bc you have a young infant. What do you think people with multiple children do? Do your best to keep them separated while she’s at your house and encourage frequent hand washing, use Clorox wipes around the house, etc. This is the season for respiratory illnesses. With SD in school she would likely be bringing germs into your home regardless of whether she’s symptomatic or not. And to be honest you and your SO could easily bring them home too (from work, the store, literally anywhere) And honestly if she was fine the first night, then had a junky cough the next 2 days… she’s probably allergic to something in your home. Especially if this isn’t the first time this has happened. I’d be more concerned with trying to figure out what in your home could be triggering this than I would with trying to blame BM or keep SD out of your home 
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Personally when my daughter was sick this year and my ex & his gf had a new baby I made it a priority for my daughter to not get him sick. I think you’re just trying to be careful, and honestly no matter how BM feels about you, they should at least know not to send a sick child over with a newborn with all the stuff going around.
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If your own child was sick would you send them away?
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So if she was biologically yours would you want her to stay with someone else until she gets better??? Your very wrong . Why even post this nonsense
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You are crazy lady… Just bc his oldest is sick does not give you the right to say she can’t be with her dad during this time… Kids always are sick… You shouldn’t have had a baby with someone that already has a child if you are going to act that way smdh
I would be so mad.
Baby’s health takes priority, infants can die from things that wouldn’t really harm an older kid.
I will take my bonus child sick or not. It’s his mom that wont let him come if my kids are sick (which is often) because she doesn’t want to get it
Almost feel that you’re resentful of the little girl. As it’s her fault she’s sick!! I get you want to protect your baby but you’re overreacting. Disinfectant your home and don’t ever take your child out of the house because there’s sick people there too!! And that hospital visit… how dare you?! So many sick people there too… 
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Is this actually a question… wow it’s his daughter, sick or not she should be seeing her dad.
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I think the bigger issue here is that she obviously didn’t take her daughter to the doctor because she’s still contagious being that the baby got sick. Dad should take her to the doctor and if she comes over sick again just keep her and the baby separated till she is better. Make sure she washes her hands or uses sanitizer and covers her mouth when she coughs.
It’s not the little girls fault that she is not getting proper care, that doesn’t mean she should not be able to see her dad. Dad should step up and do whatever it takes to help his daughter get better.
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Plenty of families have multiple children. When one kid is sick you don’t send them away. You deal with it as a parent and do the best you can to prevent illness from spreading in your house. Coughing does not mean illness. Could be asthma, allergies,sinuses or another underlying medical condition.
Parenting isn’t only a sometimes things. Your fiancé should have his child sick or not. That’s just how parenting work.
Honestly you sound stuck up and not mature enough to parent/step parent or coparent.
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Yes your wrong. 
Still your child! I can’t kick one of my kids out cause they are sick and I don’t want the other getting sick. That poor child… he’s EQUAL to all the other kids. Grow up
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That’s part of having children. Step or not. Yes it’s scary for your 5 month old but u will find that when one person in the FAMILY is sick, everyone gets sick. If you aren’t willing to treat your step child as your own child move on
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Why can’t you just take care of her? Omg cuz she’s not biologically yours you don’t want to take care of her?! Very wrong of yiu
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Why is it just BM job to take her daughter to the doctor?
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Okay, so my son is 4 now but he’s been sick off and on like crazy since he was a month old.
I have a step-daughter as well, and every time she gets sick, I get worried about my son bc he’s like a 90yr old man in a 4yr old body- so he gets sick pretty easily.
Soooo with all that being said, my son’s dad always gets his daughter on Tuesday’s and he didn’t get her last Tuesday bc guess what- she was super sick. As her mother and father both decided that it’s in the daughter’s best interest that she stay home instead with the mom and recover. No, she wasn’t thinking about my son and his health.
She was thinking as a parent should and kept her daughter home instead of sending her off with her dad just so he can spend time with her.
When a child is sick- what are you supposed to do as parents?? Keep them home! Don’t risk getting other people sick!
If she had gone with her dad, I would have been mad and would’ve said something.
So no, the OP isn’t wrong. But I also feel like the dad should have stepped in and told the BM to keep their daughter home until she got better bc they shouldn’t have risked the newborn’s health as well.
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Well not being rude but When you have multiple of children you can’t send one out because they are ill you have to deal with everyone might get it! You can’t push a child to one side and not see her because she’s ill! Personally my kids dad gets annoyed if I send them I’ll but I always say I couldn’t care if you was still around your have to deal with it too! Keep me updated and let me know how they get on! I just think your over reacting on something that you shouldn’t be tbh
Saying that I’ve had my stepdaughter over and she’s been poorly a few times I don’t care because I get to spend time with her and if she gets really bad I get her medicine or I would take her to see a doctor! It’s that simple
Seems to be a lot of hateful, rude comments in here. I’ll never understand what has happened to compassion. Clearly, she is a new mom, and seeing how you see how easily germs, especially Respiratory germs can spread, and infect, a newborn, even causing death in some…I think this mom was just scared, and upset.
If, there was wiggle room, then, yes, the SD’s mother could have rescheduled the visit. 2nd, your SO, could also step up, and take his daughter to the doctor. 3rd, people are always contagious the most, before, they actually show any signs. So, your SD, could have came over, and seemingly been fine all weekend, then went home, and gotten sick, and your baby would have still be exposed. Look up universal precautions, the most important one is hand washing. Also, don’t let people be kissing your baby, even family members. They could be sick, and not know it.
Bottom line, your gonna have more, your SD is part of your family, as she should be, and everyone gets sick. Try to keep the sick family members separated from the rest of the family. Best wishes to your family.
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Ummmmm yes? Because parenting time includes your child being sick. You don’t pick and choose when you parent. You. Care for the kid. Keep them and your house clean. And move on.
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Yes, you are absolutely completely WRONG!
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I think your being a bit overdramatic! I have 8 children in my home and when one of them gets sick I can’t just send him/her away to protect the others! I understand your worried about your son getting ill, but sometime getting these things early on in life builds up a good immunity against them in the future.
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you do not get to CHOOSE when to parent. If it is his time then he had to be dad when she is healthy or sick!!!
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The little girl is your baby’s sibling. Siblings usually share a lot of things, including sickness. What if the child was your own six year old? She would have been in the home. Just buy some Lysol and keep the poor sick little girl quarantined. Give her some elderberry and help her get better.
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No one mentioned the fact that the sick child has feelings. If i am sick i want to be home in my own bed and not be taken out to another house. If this was my child i would want them home with me where i could take care of them.
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No…you are right. Protect that baby!
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WOW. If I were the “BM” in this situation I’d be taking all this bs back to court and getting even more time with my baby. Let someone act the way you are towards my child… it would be WW3. I have a 10,7 and 1 yr old. When my girls got sick from school I kept the house sanitized and kept them out of my infants face etc because that’s literally all you can do. My son got sick, it sucked! But that’s being a PARENT.
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Take care of both …stop complaining
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YOU ARE RIGHT!!!
I have a 5 wk old son and a 7 yr old daughter. My 5 wk old was born 5 1/2 wks early and was in the NICU for 26 days. Earlier this week my daughter was sent home from school with strep, my parents were kind enough to take her because if my son got sick he would end up back in the NICU or it could be deadly. When there is an alternative to protect the life of ANY child, it should be used. Don’t listen to all of these negative comments, listen to your gut!!!
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While I totally understand especially because we are an immune compermised family but your still wrong. That’s his child he has multiple children and you got with him. He can’t pick and choose anymore then she can when it comes to being sick. Its just what happens when you have multiple children and if your gonna be with this dude forever you have multiple children
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What happens if yall have another kid together and one of them gets sick??? U gonna send the sick one away??? Take care of her and try to keep germs from spreading and dont let her touch baby!!! Be a mom to both!!!
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As a parent …its not a choice .
You don’t get to decide when you want to parent your kid. And as you are with this man then the six year old is your kid now too. Kids get sick and you also can’t prevent your baby from getting sick either. It’s common for kids to be sick a lot they are building their immune system. I mean I think you should really think about what you are saying. Your s.o. Needs to spend time with his other child. Just because she is sick doesn’t not negate that. Your child is not the only one that matters.
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So why have you nor your SO taken your stepdaughter to the doctor yourselves if this has been going on for weeks? Whether any of you like each other or get along, you have to be a team when parenting. If you don’t believe her, then take your stepdaughter to the doctor (even a CareNow/MedExpress). It is ALL OF YOUR responsibility.
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Why not take her to the doctor while you have her? If you’re able to take the baby to get checked, you should be able to take her as well…
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Well u wanted to be a step mom now step up. U don’t choice when u bf child comes over to be with u guys and her lil brother. Maybe u should have keep u legs closed and not get pregnant from a father. But look more for single man. Smh. Get over it the kids the siblings. If u ever have a second child u will send the older one away so that u new baby doesn’t get sick
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It’s his kid to. Just because you have two kids doesn’t mean his responsibility ends for his daughter’s welfare whether she’s sick or not. Why should that be mom’s job 100%? Being a stepmom means you get what you get.
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I feel like this is 100% selfish of you. I understand having a 5 week old baby, but if it’s your SO time with his daughter she needs to come regardless! Now I would suggest he take her to the doctor just to get checked out just so you have a piece of mind.
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Every parent would rather parent while the going is good and they are healthy but that’s just not reality! When child is sick or in hospital or a toothache (just examples) and it’s your turn to have the child then it’s your responsibility to take care of the child, no different if she lived with you full time. It’s not all just up to one parent. You need a REALITY CHECK!
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Next time y’all get her and she’s still having these symptoms then bring her to the Dr and explain that she’s been sick off and on and push for some antibiotics better yet a shot of antibiotics so you know she will get better. I say shot cause if you send her home with meds there’s no guarantee that her mother will be sure she takes them if she’s been sick this long…
Your petty if this was my daughter we’d be in court so damn fast. Who knows if child was sick prior with sickness it can pop up over night. I hope your boyfriend supervises you with his child.
You are accepting your husband and his whole package… imagine if the roles were reversed and u had another child and he didn’t want her over cause she was sick. Sick kids need their dads too!
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Both kids need the care
Im sorry NO MATTER THE SITUATION a new baby DOES NOT mean he stops being a father to his other child. Also shes the “mother of his child” not “baby momma”. I feel like theres no enough respect coming from you to his “baby momma” i dont kno the whole story. But, from what youve posted, i find disrespectful. And he is her father. Have him take her to a clinic and pay for it.
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Must be a first time mom. Babies need to build up their immunities anyways. It does sound as though you are over reacting. Your baby was deemed fine by the dr. Not that serious. My 20 month old got my 3 week old sick. Nothing I could do about it, but mother and nurse my babies back to health. Your child will get sick. Also, I know from experience sometimes coughs are worse in the mornings.
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I feel for that 6 year old girl and how you must make her feel so unwanted when she’s there. You are supposed to be there for a child if they don’t feel well, not selfishly complain. No parent wants any child to fall ill but you aren’t a daycare, you are this child’s other home and safe place. Plus after hours in the ER coming up with nothing means the child wasn’t very sick to begin with and all you did was expose her to so many more things, esp if she does in fact have a lower immune system.
What if both children were biologically yours? What would you do then?
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Unfortunately that’s how it goes
You keep saying my son… BM sick child. Sounds like you don’t want to be a mom to step child… you need to share your fiance with his daughter.
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I would be so irate! When my baby was that little my child’s father didn’t have either of his two other kids over at all. Even now, my daughter is 6 months old and if his kids are sick or if anyone is sick for that matter, they don’t come over to my house.
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What if you had two children and one was as sick as your step daughter?
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If I was the “BM” I would dread sending my child to your house. It sounds like you don’t see this child as one of your own at all. She needs her father too just like “your baby” needs him. Kids get sick. What if you have another baby in a few years and your oldest gets sick? Would you send him to grandma’s until he’s better? I can understand not wanting the baby to get sick but she is a part of YOUR family too.
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This is called parenting. You don’t push your child away because he or she is sick. I know you said that’s your step child but really you should be considering her your child. This is pretty sad. Dad should have every right to take her in the the doctors as well.
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What the actual fuck did I just read? You obviously dont care about your step child. You get then sick or healthy. How do you think parents of multiples deal? Are you gonna kick your older kids out of the house when they are sick? The fuck?
Some of you are awful… It has nothing to do with the child herself but the fact she’s sick however, children get sick and this is something you’re going to just have to deal with. If she lived with you, what would you do? You do the best you can too avoid contact between the two of them and sanitize everything. I will say that you guys should request the number of the doctors office and see if she ever actually went and what she was prescribed (he’s her father, they can’t tell him no).
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If this was your child that was sick like this and made your other child sick, would you send them to another house? I have two children and another on the way. When my son was first born my daughter had a cold and gave it to my son when he was only 3 weeks old resulting in croup. It happens. It’s part of being a mother to two children. It seems to me you dont get that
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That is what happens when you are with someone who has another child. I have two over the age of 4 and I’m about to have a new born in March… so am I supposed to ship my other two kids off when they get sick because we will have a new born? no… It’s the responsibility of being a parent.
As for your step daughter being sick… take her in yourself or get dad to. Mom can’t stop you, she’s sick and obviously needs to see a doctor.
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Aweful to hear you baby is Ill! prayers for him and your stepdaughter!
They are siblings to you send your daughter away when she is sick?
Also, why can’t you or so? take the child to the dr!?
Maybe step into the bm shoes, or better yet have some compassion for your stepdaughter she is also sick and needs attention care and comfort!
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Glad my daughter doesn’t have a stepmom like this one!
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Uhm, what? I understand your son is 5 weeks old, but to push your stepdaughter away because she has a cough and is congested is another thing. Maybe it’s just allergies? Maybe she actually IS sick. Regardless, why would you want to keep your stepdaughter away from her dad and her brother all because she has a cough and is congested?
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agree, over reacting. I feel bad for the 6 y/o. The answer is not rocket science. If she’s sick keep them apart, wash your hands & stop whining. Be a parent
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If I were the mom of the sick child, my first thought, if I had nothing to do that weekend, would be to keep our sick child until she was well so she wouldn’t get the new baby sick…as long as dad was okay with it. But dad’s time with her is limited so if he insisted she came, I would pack her medicines and hope they dont let her aound the baby too much. But I would have an issue with the new mom telling the dad that my child couldn’t come because she was sick. Because first of all I would have done everything in my power to keep her if I could or make her well. But if Dad insisted she come then it is what it is and the new mom is just going to have to deal with it
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You’re definitely in the wrong…my SO has 3 kids…for christmas break he had all of them, in which the youngest was sick with strep and the flu…
Was I worried the others would get sick…yes…But it’s a part of LIFE! I would NEVER tell him to skip his weekend just bc I have a daughter and dont wish for his son to be around bc hes sick.
I get you have a very young child but you cant control kiddos getting sick…and especially shouldn’t shun your “step kiddo” bc of this. That’s Not fair. You’re showing her, who you truly favor. May need to realize it’s a Family and kids are going to get sick, regardless
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Personally, I think you have jerkitis. It’s a terrible disease, but very curable with common sense and empathy
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Y’all do realize she has a NEWBORN? newborns do not need to be getting sick especially at 5 weeks old. I get that you all think she’s in the wrong for being upset that she got her five week old son sick but what if it turned into something bad? What if he had to be hospitalized? It’s flu season. It’s rsv season. I wouldn’t let anybody who was sick near my kid.
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Your a joke if you had an older child and he/she had something would you send them away be logical the fact that your SO is so concerned he should take her to the doctor with out asking BM
I’m more concerned the step child’s been sick so long. Perhaps her father needs to take her in. Kids get sick and get siblings sick. This is how we build immunities. I think it’s sad to shame a child for being sick esp when where she goes likely isn’t even up to her.
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Wow. Just wow. I have 6 kids. Yes I said 6. One lives with her mom, but we have 5 here full time. 4 of the 5 go to their fathers every other weekend. The 5th is a 4 week old who spent a week in the NICU when she was born. 3 of our kids just went through the flu…after being at their fathers for the weekend. I’ve had 5 kids home ALL week from school. Was I supposed to tell their father to keep them so they don’t get my 4 week old sick? Nope. Wanna know why?? Cuz they live with me full time and I am their mother and it is my job to take care of them when they are with me. Just as their father took care of them over the weekend when the flu started it’s way around the kids. He also has 2 other children who are with him full time. He didn’t send them home because of the other children. He bought meds and took care of them. I kept them away from the 4 week old, sprayed Lysol and made them wash hands, take medicine for the fever and to cough into their elbow if needed. How can you keep a child away from their father just because she is sick and you have a 5 week old?? How oh how do mothers who have more than one child do it??! Smh. Grow up. Learn proper health care for at home when children are sick and deal with it. My children’s pediatrician told me “keep them away from the baby and hope for the best.” Why? Cuz I am a mother who has more than one child to care for…full time or not it’s my JOB.
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As soon as the girl woke up with that cough I would have taken her to a doctor .u cant help these things sometimes .its concerning that she is sick for so long make the dad or u take her in to be seen
I think you are seeing this in the wrong light. The problem isn’t that she sent over your stepdaughter while sick, because kids get sick and parents/kids have rights to spend time together. You should never keep a parent/child separated in a circumstance like this. But the disgusting part of this to me, is the BM not considering her 6yo child’s cough more concerning. She is only 6 and has had a bad cough for over a month. My opinion is that is negligence. How can you expect this BM to care about your son when she’s clearly not caring enough about her own daughter? So sad. This little girl deserve better than what her mom and stepmom are giving her.
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I have two girls and a step son I offer to keep him anytime he is sick wether it exposes the girls because he needs mommy lovings and it shouldn’t just be on bm to do that plus that way she’s not missing work and money. And yes one of my girls is younger than him.
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You are wrong on so many levels, show some compassion to ur stepdaughter, she is 6 years old and sick as well . You are terrible and heartless and if I were that child’s mom I wouldn’t want u around my child.
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Sorry but that’s part of being a parent and step parent. Kids get sick, and then siblings end up getting sick too. It’s just part of parenting that you have to get use to. Does it suck? Yes! But it’s part of life. Kids are full of germs and spread them to everyone around them. It’s just part of life. You do what you can to keep it from spreading and to get any sick kids feeling better quickly and try to keep everything clean and don’t let the sick kid play directly with the non sick kids to try to reduce the chances of the non sick kids getting sick!
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Wow! So if you have a second child where do plan on sending your current one everytime it has a cold? Reality check parenthood is the only thing that is truly in sickness and health till death due us part…best accept it now.
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You are very wrong!! Wrong in so many levels! You shouldn’t have had a child with a man that had children! I would hate you forever if you were my ex’s new bm!!!
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No. Id be pissed off.
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I genuinely feel bad for the little girl. I can just imagine the things she has overheard because she is sick an all of the sudden the target of the step mom. If you were so concerned why the hell didnt you bring her to the doctors yourself!!!
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What happens when you have more than 1 child??? Sorry you are sick but I dont want you infecting the house soooo go away kid…
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I think you might just not like your stepchild 🤦gosh darn lady. It’s the time of year where the kids are going to be sick 99% of the time. Do you think she should stay away till the warm weather hits? I have a 15 month old who was a newborn while my older two were in school during flu season. Can’t really just keep kids away. Yes 5 weeks is young but the baby isn’t your only child now.
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That’s his kid…he cant pick and choose …either get used to it or dont marry him…sick or not that’s her daddy
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When you get with someone with kids… you deal with it all. And you sound dramatic saying he took a huge turn for the worse, and after testing was fine… it’s doesn’t work that way. I have 5 kids… if they are sick and it’s the worst, something will come up medically.
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If this child lived with you would you send her away when she was sick to not infect the baby? No. You’d just keep them separate and take care of her, I would hope.
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In the wrong! Both are parents… I would never say my bonus daughter can’t come over bc she’s sick. I would take care of her and keep her separated from the baby 
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When you have another baby and one is sick what are you going to do that’s part of having kids and if she woke up with a cough that concerned you why didn’t you take her to the doctor
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Why is this even a thing?? Shame on you…
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Sooo if your SO not supposed to see his daughter for over a month because of a cough?..My 2nd son used to have a horrible cough that never went away and he was always congested, they did a hearing test and he failed and he needed tubes and hasn’t had a cough or congestion unless he’s been sick…My 3rd son had a horrible cough for over a month and took him to the Dr’s and he was fine…Sometimes the coughs linger…My oldest son lives with his father (and his 4 other sisters who are all in school) and I’ve only ever stopped him from coming once because his father’s house was so sick and so was ours…Other than that if he or any of his siblings here have a cough or whatever cuddles and kisses are off limits to limit exposure and if I have a newborn everyone keeps their distance…But if I was your SO or his BM I’d be pissed and think you don’t want my child around if you’re saying she’s been sick for a month and needs to stay away until she’s better…If you have more kids what are you going to do when your sons in school exposed to all those germs and comes home sick and you’ve got a newborn at home? Where’s he gunna go?..
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Your wrong he is the dad you can not say she is not allowed and most importantly a 6 year old can not pretend to be fine one day and be sick the next she got sick she got sick at your place be
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If you haven’t watched your child almost die then you should shut your mouth. When my step kids or my biological son is sick they do not come to my house because my son could die. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that it’s a stepchild. I love my stepchildren and if they were compromised I would remove anybody sick from the scenario.
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If it’s on and off for a month more than likely it’s not a cold and more of the allergy range. It’s a child that is not feeling to great and who just wants love and attention.
This is dumb… kids get sick. You just have to take precautions. If you have two biological kids, you cant just ship one off to keep the other healthy. You either want to be a step mom or your dont but that poor child probably feels horrible because of how shes being talked about 
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Sick kids come with parenting…
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You are overly dramatic and pathetic as hell. Yet you had a baby? You dont give a crap about his kid. Grow up.
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Yes you are wrong. If she were living with you would you send her away while she was sick. Dealing with sickness of a child is part of parenting. It amazes me that you would even question this.
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