Talk to dad to start, maybe he just needs someone familiar to talk to for 15 min.
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I apologise because this will be long. So this is speaking from experience from when I was a child and this past March. My father attempted suicide when I was about 15 and my brother was about 9, so 16 years ago. My mother and him were headed towards divorce because she had caught him cheating both physically and emotionally with multiple women. So he tried to kill himself. He was air lifted and came out fine (physically) in the end. I had a best friend at the time who’s mother was a police officer and she told my mother to get an emergency order of custody (don’t know if it was considered temporary or not) and to not allow any visitation until he had completed X amount of time in therapy. My mom chose a year, so we didn’t see my dad for a whole year. Then it was supervised visits through the courts while my dad got individual therapy and him and my mom went through couple’s therapy. They worked it out. Fast forward to 16 years practically to the day, he does it again because once again my mom caught him cheating and he didn’t get what he wanted through divorce mediation and did it because he didn’t want to have to pay her a dime. This time it was I who had to make the choice on if my own children could see their grandfather. I also decided that my dad needed to be in therapy for a solid year before I entertained the thought of my children being around him. I did not how ever stop them from having video chats when my father felt in the mood to talk to them. He has another 6 months to go, and my husband and I both feel he has not made much progress as he is still placing blame on everyone but himself saying if my mother hadn’t asked for a divorce none of this would have happened. Instead of saying his cheating, while my mom was going to chemotherapy no less, was what fueled the divorce. My suggestion is to withhold visitation until therapy has been established and he’s been going for a few months. You can do the same as me and they can have video chats during that time if your son would like. After that I would then ask for supervised visits in public areas, not in someone’s home as unfortunately it makes it easier to have a hostage situation if he feels again he needs to end his life and has thoughts at that moment your son would be better off without life as well.
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If he has visitation rights I’d bring him to court and fight that visitation to be either only supervised or stopped until he gets help maybe the Court will order him to go to a psychiatric hospital. I don’t mean to do it to hurt the father thats just what I would do bc he obviously isn’t mentally stable enough to take your kid at the moment. If that isn’t the route you wanna go then just try to help him out, clean up his house, be there for him if he needs to talk. It sounds like he wants help. Good luck to you I hope everything works out.
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Keep your distance only supervised visits
I’m sorry but my son would not ever go there. Supervised visits only. When hes on meds and stays on them then talk a new visitation arrangement. Stay vigilant
Do what is best for your son
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Talk to the court see about supervised visits at the visitation center. That’s ur best bet they have officers there who watch plus they record so if he pulls anything ur son is well protected
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I would pursue full custody with supervised visits outside of his home. It is not safe for your son to be in that setting - for ALL the reasons you listed.
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If there’s a parenting plan in place then the only conversation to have is with a lawyer if you’re seeking legal guidance. And the only advice I can offer is to document everything always.
I’m just curious, WHY are you even asking this question? Seriously, this wasn’t bad enough? You want your son to go through something even worse?
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Definitely supervised visits until he’s stable. The problem with medication is that dad could be fine at first, but then could end up more suicidal depending on his medication reactions. I’d ask for supervised visits until dad is deemed medically stable by a doctor and a therapist. I’d also maybe try to get CPS involved, I know there are horror stories with them, but maybe having them involved would help him with resources and keeping his house clean. I know it’s not your place, but you seem very mature and are handling this better and understanding depression a lot more than most people would and I hope dad appreciates it! I know it’s not your responsibility, but maybe you could try to clean up his house a little while he’s gone. Sometimes messes and clutter can make depression worse so him coming home to that environment and remembering how he lived probably wouldn’t be good, or ask some of his family members to do it
Why is this a question? Your sons safety first so no more visits alone to see his father and no staying with him until he is mentally stable with proof. Still visit just no staying and no visits alone.
I think you should go to court and petition for supervised visitation until the court has deemed him fit parent alone. That way a court appointed advisor will supervise visits and help dad get his life together and help him with the services he needs to stay on meds and keep his life on track. Also because your son has been exposed to this it might not be a bad idea to get him into some counseling so that he can talk about his feelings and learn how to manage them in a healthy way they can also talk to him in a way that he understands that his dad has issues but with help he can get better. While it was not ok to leave your son that way it could have been dangerous. I think it shows that he is trying to get better and asked for help. Maybe he removed himself from the situation for your son’s benefit and that I can applaud.
Yes. Supervised visits.
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Supervised visitations in a safe space (for everyone’s protection)
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Supervised visits. At least for a year in my opinion. I would also have someone evaluate dad and clear him before he goes back to on his own. Get ur son therapy as well.
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I would help or get help for my ex. Make sure he is reliable enough to look after his son and house properly before allowing your son to be with him unsupervised. This may take time but will be better for both your ex and your son. Depression is tough but I am glad your ex went for help. That is just the first step. Maybe your son could use some help as well.
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Why are you even asking this question??
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Hell no! Follow your gut. I’m definitely not for keeping kids away from either parent, but this is horrible, and my kid would not be going back.
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I would help the man. Obviously he needs it. Maybe this can pull everyone together, it is almost Christmas. Talk to your ex, see if he will accept your help, maybe he would trust you and your son more than anyone else. Him seeking help was good, he’s probably scared and embarrassed. Help eachother.
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It is scary that you have to ask others opinions you should not even allow him without supervision.
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Wow if i were u i would definately not leave ur son with him alone at all. The boys dad sounds like he is very unstable and not safe to be around.maybe until he gets the help he needs and treatment i would meet dad somewhere mutual for lunch etc but he needs to be supervised.if his family are ok maybe ur son could visit his dad there but dont leave ur son alone with him.
Omg! Be careful you hear about situations like this, where the father snaps n hurts or kill the children go to the court before its too late 
!!!
Are you out of your mind???
You are just as always as insane as he is!!!
He is suicidal, depressed, has a temper, in and out of your sons life and your son does not like being around him.
What part of that don’t you understand??
You are so concerned about his mental stability, what about your sons mental stability??
You need counseling on how to be a mother that protect her child.
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Supervised visitation ONLY! You are RIGHT!!!
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Only hearing your side and having been on the other side . I say go to court tell your side , let him tell his they will most likely talk to child in private. Then go with what court says. I did supervised visitation for almost a year. Also make sure your son has a phone with your number and others for emergencies
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Sounds like this has been going on for awhile. Your son had to have mentioned something before it got this bad. What if his father had snapped and killed them both? Good thing he had the sense to contact police for his son’s safety. I’m sure you can arrange with a mediator regarding supervised visitation.
I just want to say kudos to you for wanting your son to have a healthy Father and helping to get him on track without ripping his son away and bashing him. He is seeking help and is lucky to have you to coparent with.
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I would have an emergency custody hearing IF you are sending him so you won’t be in contempt.
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The fact them Dad himself said he’s a danger to others. No way I’d let my kid go unsupervised, we can never tell one’a state of mind. I wouldn’t go off a select amount of time “away” but until dad gets help and cleans himself up.
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I wouldn’t let him have the child alone for at least a year to more. I wouldn’t let the son go back until the house is in good condition and the Father is cleared by child services for safety. He should have his mental health under control and prove on going therapy and finish parenting classes. Letting him see the child with you present is nice.
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Supervised visitation till he is cleared by a psychiatrist.
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Better get your self some help. Who leaves a child with a looney tune. Get a grip girl
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If you have really worked in behavioral health, then why the hell are you on a public Facebook group asking advice? 
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I would def hold off on ur son seeing his dad until hes ok n stable. This is also the age i gave my daughter the option to go or not go to her dads (hes part time barley talks to her or i) shell tell me when she wants to.go.over there or if she doesnt want to she doesnt feel pressured …maybe now ur son can do this when dad gets a lil better if he doesnt want to.go to his dads thats his choice he shouldnt have to be forced dad is gonna need alot.time to get somewhat put together again but i wouldnt be sending my chhild.over there any time soon if he wanta to.see his dad set a visitation somewhere
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Protect your son at all cost, get an emergency order that dad can only see his son when supervised and that he had to get help to get better. You have all the proof you need to proceed ASAP.
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My nephew found his mom dead…you don’t want that for your son…Supervised visitation until he can get back on his feet. yall can still be there for him if you choose
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She asked for advice not to be bashed!!!
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You’re obviously concerned that you may push your sons father over the edge otherwise you wouldn’t even be asking these questions - because it’s a no brainer. I would use the fact that he reported himself to the police as a starting a point to change your custody/visitation situation. It would be easier for him to accept that he did this rather than it feeling like you and your son have rejected him.
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Supervised visits only. Go to court and try to have all access removed, seriously. You’re lucky that he didn’t do a murder/suicide.
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Father gets the help he needs or no contact. Children dont need this kind of contact or abuse.
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I wouldn’t let him go back! The dad himself even said hes unstable. Supervised only.
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Don’t let your child with him alone. However, that man is still your son’s father. Let your child help his dad to heal. it will be more difficult for the dad to get better if he can’t talk or see his son. Let the father visit your son sometimes.
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Go for full custody but try supervised day visits when he gets his head straight, if you still want him in your son’s life.
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I would do what you said about meeting him for visitation, it might be a good push to get him out of the house. The bottom line is it’s not safe for your kid there, he knows it and you know it. Let him get his life straight and then he can start to stay over again.
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You supposedly have limited experience with behavioral issues and you have to ask the world how to protect your son you d****** you need help
All you mean ass people that post hateful things on these types of posts, why do you even say anything? This obviously blindsided her or else she wouldn’t be asking what she could do. If they have a court order and she cant afford a lawyer to change it then people that may have been through something similar could offer advice. And sometimes you know what to do but you want to get an unbiased opinion. Plus even if you’ve worked in behavioral health, its totally different when it happens to family and a lot of times if you’re just a tech, you dont learn the laws and all that.
… quit being mean to people that are reaching out for help or dont post at all. So awful that people just have to write hateful stuff
Definitely go to court and request supervised visitations. You have to do what is right for your child. He is your number one priority.
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You have obviously answered your own question and seem to feel like you need confirmation that what you are doing is right.This is that confirmation… You need to think of your son first …(not his father) I understand you “Do not want to keep your son away from his father!” but you do need to keep your son away from a mentally ill father. Until his living situation improves and his father gets help …All visitation should stop.Your son doesn’t like it and understands that the living situation is not ideal.
You won’t have any choice if the cops called DCFS which they should have they will tell you that he won’t be back in his care alone untill he proves to them and the courts not you but them
Your child comes first ! Let Dad get help then start to trust him again with your son
Keep your son safe first at all times no matter at whose cost, give dad a chance to heal give him a long time and then to prove himself only allow visits with a minors carer or yourself, if he get angry he looses his rights to see his son. It’s going to be such a hard time for the 3 of you a long long time but your son must always be your priority I hope the dad finds the good help he needs its not going to be easy my best wishes for you. Xxx
Pray for your family. Spend time with him even if he’s depressed. Reassure him your their for him even if your not together?? Your baby is important and being a good coparent is what you want for your son. 
just saying 
his house is like that bcuz he’s in that hole of depression. 
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I agree until he gets his life together it’s a no your child comes first and you don’t want your son hurt or killed! I would die for my boys and I would never let them go with any one who I felt would put them in danger! A child’s life is way to precious!
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Easy decision. The dad already made it for you. Put your son first…period.
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I feel like you are his mom. If you feel like he is unsafe in any way you should do what you have to do to keep him safe. Take the nessicary steps to stop overnights & alone visits until dad’s depression is better under control. You don’t want your son to be a witness if his dad attempts suicide or lashes out in anger.
Supervised visits are my suggestion.
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I understand that it’s hard to watch someone you love, or had loved, go through this but your son and his well-being and safety is your first and foremost priority. It is a good sign that your ex is beginning to seek help, and it’s awesome that you are so supportive of that, but to continually expose your son to a situation that he has already expressed discomfort in is not healthy for him or you. Keep being the wonderful and supportive individual that you are, but put your son before your ex.
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Supervised visits until Dad has life together again. When it comes to our children, we don’t take risks.
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You’re doing the right thing, he needs to get himself together first. That’s not safe for your son.
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You need to protect your son, at all costs, until his father has his mind straight.
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If it were me i would not let him have him. If he wants to see him have it be supervised visits. Trust your gut always!!! Dont put him in that situation.
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I would think that since the cops were there and seen the condition of the home, that they reached out to children’s services and filed a report and children’s services should get involved
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Supervised visits…until ‘Dad’ recovers with the proper help.
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You need to focus on what’s best for your son. Keep him safe. Hopefully dad will get help and get his life back on track.
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I would go to court and ask for supervised visits but that’s just me… they’ll make sure he gets help and it sounds like that’s really important…I’m so sorry…I’m praying for you all…it’s not easy…my mother is mentally ill and they left me with her…it was difficult for me. Your son shouldn’t have to bear that.
I understand perfectly and I wot feel the same. The fact that you didn’t outright decide that your son would never got there again shows that you aren’t a great Mom that is trying to do the right thing for her child. You want his father to be in his life, but you are right. You have to put your child first. You can make sure that your child is safe by taking him to his father to visit, but not leaving him. You can do a walk through to make sure things are as they should be. If, not, your son should leave with you. You have documentation of the previous situation as a policeman stayed with your son until you arrived. I wish you luck, and Blessings to you:heart:
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I wouldnt let him see him alone so many people that want to harm themselves will sometimes take their children with them. Just be there for him to get the help he needs and so he knows he’s not alone
He needs to get his life in order before he sees his son again,I have seen to many things happening here…stick to your guns
File a revised parenting plan with supervised visitation until his dad can show he can take care of him and y poo or son will be safe in his care.
I think until he can get some kind of treatment and get himself together I would ask for supervised visitation so that he knows you are keeping your son from him but you are worried about the safety of both of them. I am very thankful that he left your son unharmed and went for help, no it’s not good he was left alone but the fact he was unharmed is a blessing. Having been in your exes position asking for help is the hardest part of the process and since he has done that he should be ready to accept whatever they tell him
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In the best interest of the child and for his own safety, i would contact an attorney or file papers with the court for supervised visitation through the courts. It doesn’t have to be a permanent thing, make it a step down situation where he gets more visitation later on when he proves himself to be more stable.
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I would wait till u know dad get the help he needs and the house in order but i wouldnt keep the kid away but have some one th ere with him
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I would wait till dad proves to you he is stable
He’s not stable right now it could have went in a worse way at least he new get help
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You do what you need to do. Your child and you come first!
You can call child protective services in your state and file a report against. They will come do a walk through of his home and document everything. If they find substantiated evidence against him they take him to court and take away his rights until he can prove himself to be a fit parent . I know in our state, hospitals and police are mandated to report to social services . So hopefully the cops reported him which will help you
Call cps and try to get copies of the police report or statements from the officers that were in his home. Your lawyer should help.
Can’t believe you would even ask for advice. Seems like a no brained. Yes your ex is very unstable but he is reaching out for help. What really scares me is that you don’t know what to do. Don’t mean to be rude but I think you could use some parenting classes about keeping your child safe. Maybe you just needed to vent and totally undestand.
Are you fair? You ask FB this question of all places. I read this once then again to be sure of what I was reading. You said you talked to attorney general…quite a statement to say on FB no less, but you didn’t say what the attorney general will do for you in such a story that you are saying. Your story requires action, on YOUR part. What have you done to protect your son before his obviously unstable father? Why keep putting your son in this situation? Talking about feelings is okay, but it means nothing in the end if there is no action to back up your talks with your son to help him. What have you done besides reaching out to FB and attorney general (who has said and done what for your cause by the way?) Do you have an attorney? If so, what do they say? Do you not agree with their advice? Do you not agree with the attorney general’s advice? Is this the reason why your reaching out to social media for answers/opinions? Much has been unsaid here, yet you ask FB. There are child advocates who can help also. Find one. May your son get the help he deserves. Wish the best for you both.
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Your son and his safety comes BEFORE his father’s feelings. Thank God he got him to the police BEFORE he did something bad. It shows he does have some cognitive reasoning and thought of his safety first. I would get a lawyer and be sure your son gets some counseling. This may have done more damage than you think. I would fight with every ounce to keep him away from his dad UNLESS it is supervised. The father obviously loved his son enough to take the proper action and assure his safety. He is a man with an illness. Hopefully he gets the help he needs .
Your son’s safety comes first, not his dad’s problems. Supervised visits are warranted if his dad is that unstable. Don’t let a tragedy happen.
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Prayers 
you contact Social Services to get supervision visit that means he would have supervisor visits or a court order he may only have visits with a supervisor he the ex needs help and until he gets it he had no business being alone with your son alone he is needing alot of help you are right to be concerned
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Dad loved enough to get help before he did something he couldn’t take back
Yes he should see son professionally qualified.person
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Priority is your sons safety. Maybe consider supervised visitation so dad can still see him but your son remains safe and no overnight stays alone until dad addresses his mental health issues and has it controlled. Good luck.
Supervised visits if any visits at all. The dad needs to get right in his head before any contact it’s your sons life. The dad isn’t good for him. My opinion 
If this were me, I would not expose my son to this situation. The father needs to get help and get his house and life together. When he can show proof of this, maybe you can do a day visit with a court advocate. After all, it is in the best interest of your son.
At the end of the day, you need to look out for your son. If what you say is true, that’s a very unsafe situation and the father truly needs to get some help before your son can be put in his care again. He needs to be shown that he’s making progress and is stable enough to be able to appropriately look out for your guys’s son. Until then, you’re required to keep him safe no matter how anyone feels about it.
Have the Dad get the mental health that he so desperately needs then when his therapist feels he is fine and no longer a danger to himself tell your son’s father that you would like him to get his home and home life cleaned up as well before your son will be spending overnight visits with him and in the meantime if he wants visits with his son tell your son’s father that you will be more than happy to meet him somewhere so that he can see his son but you will not leave your son someplace alone that you will be there during the visits also. When and if your son feels comfortable with overnight visits and his Dad has gotten the mental help he needs and his home is clean (check before leaving your son there) buy a prepaid cellphone and give it to your son so he has a phone to call you or someone should he need to and my help ease any anxiety your son may have about overnight visits just knowing that he will be able to call you or someone for help. Good luck
It is in the best interest of your son to have supervised visitation with his father. This is something that you will have to initiate through the courts. Dad has some serious issues to deal with and consistent mental health care is were he needs to focus his energy.
I’m sure that both dad and son will understand that this is for the better. It would be traumatic for your son to be in the presence of his father if he were to end his life.
The process of initiating supervised visitation through the courts will start with you filing a motion to change your current visitation agreement. You will be scheduled to go in front of a judge to plead your case. The judge will rule and decide what’s best for your son. Please keep a detailed account of everything that happened the day that you had to pick up your son and the condition of the home etc. If there has been any other incidents that has occurred please try to note those as well. It appears that dad has been dealing with mental health issues for quite sometime. I’m sure that may explain his " wishy-washy" behavior.
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If dad wants to see his son, this is a situation where strictly supervised visitation should be implemented. The cops were involved, so you HAVE evidence and legs to stand. Go to court and get this set in motion.
You need supervised visitation. Never let the father be alone with your son until he has received help. Don’t tell the father he can never see his son again, just tell him that after recent events you need someone else there to make sure everything is ok. Hopefully your ex can get the help he needs in the process. Depression is very serious. Your ex really needs to get help and hopefully learn what he needs to do to be a good parent. Right now it sounds like your son should never be alone with his Dad. Please don’t hate your ex though. He has a serious problem and needs help.
I get what you’re thinking about having his dad in his life, but in my honest opinion, I would not leave him alone with dad again, period. Request full custody with supervised visitation. At least until he can prove that he is better. It’s not safe, healthy, or good for your son to have to witness these events. To leave the child alone during the night is reason enough for me to never allow my child near the other parent but in a filthy home, no communication, and for hours?! absolutely not! He’s sick… mental unstable… he’s a danger to your child. Your kid comes first.
Supervised visits from now on with a court appointed person. Never let him be left alone with him he may hurt the child and himself not meaning to.
Do not, by any means, leave your child alone with him! Your childs safety comes first! And if that means no contact until dad is in a healthy frame of mind, then thats exactly what needs to happen. THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHILD CONES FIRST. EVEN OVER THEIR RELATIONSHIP. How many times have we heard out loud…" i didnt think they would do that". Because thats whaf i thought in my situation…and it turns out he was hurting my child. No depreesion or metal health issues, per se. KEEP YOUR SON SAFE. Because if you DO let him go with him…especially being aware of these things…then YOU could get in trouble as well. Bottom line…as a MOTHER…do what is necessary to keep that boy of yours SAFE!
it is on police record of his issues, so talk to your lawyer, and get perminent costody, so then u have the say so, at this point i would want to be supervising him even with family. even tho u dont want to kerp your son frkm hkm, it is the best for your skn at this point… hood luck to u and your son.
Simple keep your son away from his dad until he gets stable bad scene for ur son to be around and talking about death no I would not let him be with his dad
Depending on the state but here, if the cops show up, its reported and they will investigate. She has the right to refuse to leave the child, if the house/apt is in the condition she states it is and justify by stating its an unsafe environment
Your son needs to be everyone’s #1 concern and he caused harm to your son. He needs to be away until a doctor sees him fit to supervise your son, alone.
You could lose your kid like that hun if dcs is called
Why do you care what we think? Do what’s best for your kid not his father PERIOD