Anyone else ignore invitations to kids birthday parties?

Always invited everyone to my kids parties and always took them to every party. Great way to make them feel included, build up confidence, have fun, and meet/make new friends they may not have had a chance to yet. These parties may seem like small things but they aren’t.

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We have been to multiple parties where our child has been the only guest to show up. All I can think of is what if I had decided to not come just because I didn’t feel like it. That child would be devastated.

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Dont complain when no one shows for your kids party…that door swings both ways. You are only hurting the child.


My son last year had 20 party’s, he’s in a class of 26. Some didn’t have a party. My son would be devastated if he couldn’t go to his friends party’s. When you have children it’s no longer about you it’s about them. I have ADHD so I really struggle with socialising but I do it for my children

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Maybe ask your kid if they want to go? I see so many posts about birthday parties for kids that nobody shows up to And it’s so sad. I don’t even do them for my son but he’s only 2.5 so he doesn’t know the difference. I take him to them tho. Definitely seems like it should be your kids decision tho n

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I put my exes kids before me and my comfort, and they weren’t even mine. They needed something, anything, I was there.

Do better! And that is not meant as an insult, I genuinely mean it. You are all your kid has. Don’t ruin their life before it’s even truly began.

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I invite my daughter’s classmates because those are the friends she has. We don’t live in a neighborhood with kids around her age and with my work schedule it is hard to be able to take her out to meet kids in other places. I understand you’re feelings because i don’t like to socialize either but it’s the only way my daughter gets to have people come to her birthday. Last year my daughter didn’t have anyone show up and it was heartbreaking to see her hurting like that.

My sons birthday party was a week ago, and not a single kid from his class showed up. It made me so sad and confused. :confused:

I’ve heard people say this is a normal thing to happen but I just didn’t believe it.

It hurts me as a parent that no one showed up. Regardless I made sure my son had fun, but I was so hurt inside.

I’m not social at all have social anxiety but my son was invited to a classmates birthday party we got a small gift just played it safe and got a few car toys and dinosaur toys and went to the party. I never met this kid or his family but I’m so glad we went. This poor kid nobody showed to his party so when my son showed up ( I stayed as well)you could tell he was upset but once he saw we showed the boy was super happy it broke my heart. He didn’t have any family and invited the entire class and the only one to show was my son. The 2 of them became best friends :heart: I’m so glad I fought through my anxiety because my son made a friend and also had a wonderful time. Try going sometimes it’s awkward I won’t lie sitting with a bunch of adults I didn’t no but they actually were really nice people

You should take your kid to bday parties that she gets invites to from school. Sometimes almost no one shows up for these kids and it’s sad. Just go… I understand not going to family members that you don’t associate with… but why not go to classmates parties?

No. I wouldn’t want people to ignore my sons party. Since when he was 4 absolutely no one showed and it broke my heart. So if he’s invited he’s going. Maybe he’ll be the only one to show and save the heartache that child may feel.

My child usually always wants to go to classmates parties and we live in such a small town and we just started a new school. All of the kids in his class get included when inviting a classmate to a birthday party everyone gets an invite so no one is left out. We had a Birthday last night and he was so happy to be around all his new classmates at school and almost every kid in his class was there. If my child is going to get the socialisation he needs not to mention having fun with kid then we are going. I’ll go even if I don’t know the parents I try to make an effort to introduce myself or I sit and watch the kids.
It’s your child’s time to have experiences, be with and make new friends. Even if you are uncomfortable you sometimes have to put your comfort aside for your kid. If for whatever reason we can’t make it to a party I always rsvp so the parent knows.

This is why so many kids don’t get birthday parties with friends anymore. I can’t wait for my daughter to get invited to her classmates parties, she will definitely be going.


This is selfish. Of my daughter gets an invitation especially from a school friend we make an effort. Whether or not you know them. Those are her friends the people she is with every single day. I want to meet my children’s friends and their parents. I want my friends to be able to attent birthday parties and sleep overs and not miss out. But I have to know parents, phone and address for my children to go with anyone. So yeah, I’m taking kiddo to the party.

No, never. It is up to my children if they want to go. They need social experiences outside of school and family functions and their own home.

Imo, put your own feelings aside for the sake of your kids. Pretty selfish not to.

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No because last year we invited 30 classmates 10 teammates. 3 showed up just 3 because to many parents dont give af about if their kid would like to go they think of oh i don’t know that parent pr its not the right last name… so no i put my child first regardless of my comfort!


I personally love birthday parties lol so if we get invited we going

You know this actually bothers the hell out of me! My son had his “first” birthday with inviting his class in kindergarten and not a single kid showed up. He was to busy having fun that he didn’t really noticed but I did. I bawled my eyes out because I felt so bad.
My kids tend to any party they get invited to because it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids to have that feeling of no one showed up mom they must not like me mom. That’s a really sad feeling for little kids to feel and experience. Take them to the parties let them make friends just because you haven’t heard of the child or don’t know them doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take them!!!

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I’ve gotten to the point to where I take my kid regardless for many reasons. 1. I would feel bad bc if all parents thought like they then no one would ever show up to a child’s bday party and their classmates may be the only children the parents know so I would feel bad for a kid if no one showed up to his party. 2. It encourages children to socialize with others and it help encourages new friendships. 3. I would hate for no one not to show up at my child’s party and he’s sad. 4. My mother never met me go to any party regardless if I new the person or not her excuse was always well I don’t know there parents so no your not going. I hated that. I have social anxiety so I really don’t do well at social events where I don’t know anyone but I go and stay in a corner or walk around for a little just so I try not to look so awkward. I just want my kid to be happy so we support parties over here

I have the absolute worst social anxiety but I take my kids to their classmates parties because I’m just grateful they were included.

For one I though of it has a way of helping my kids be social and make friends although there were times I couldn’t of bothered. If you dont go at least have respect to decline the invite. Nothing more annoying trying to gauge numbers and people leave you hanging. Especially if ordering out pizza or something and with loot bags.

As much as I hate saying this, this is extremely selfish of your part. It’s not about you, it about your child engaging and making beautiful memories with other children. Ofcouse I personally would not just drop off my child and leave, I would stay to make sure he is safe.

How is that teaching your child to meet new people if you refuse to do it? It’s healthy for children to be in social settings for their development. I understand avoiding toxic people but I do not understand making them miss out on childhood memories.

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The amount of videos I’ve seen online of parents saying “nobody showed up to my child’s birthday so now they have to be by themselves” it’s just sad. If you don’t want to stay that’s fine, explain to your child that you’ll pick them up after the party. Being a parent doesn’t mean you HAVE to put your feelings aside because that’s just unhealthy. You need to communicate with your child, example: we can go for an hour but we can’t stay the entire time. That’s you putting yourself out of your comfort zone for an hour so you can enjoy the rest of the day but it’s also your child being able to socialize for a bit. What if your child was the only one to show up to the party? Imagine how hurt the birthday person would be, the amount of time and money the parent(s) spent and all of that only for nobody to show up. As for the toxic family part, the adults should be mature enough to be civil for a few hours so the kids can have fun. The children didn’t choose to be born, you chose to have a kid. They don’t owe you anything. If the anxiety gets to bad, excuse yourself to your car and when you’re ready you can go back inside. You need to be an adult about it. Your child shouldn’t have to grow up not being able to have fun at birthday parties because you’re to busy worrying about the people there.

So ur child has no choice??? Sorry I give my children a choice. My kids are older (16,16,14,12,9) but most of the time they go. I won’t leave them alone but I find it sad ur Making choices for ur child who might want to go and have fun. Not saying ur a bad parent cause I don’t know u but maybe let ur child have a say?

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I get that it’s uncomfortable. I’m an introvert and super awkward but it’s not about us. A lot of times we have to put aside our feelings and just deal with it for our kids sake. They don’t deserve to feel left out. Those parties are how they build bonds and meet new friends. It’s also good for you to meet other parents. Your children are going to be in school a lot of years… do you want them missing out on friends and sports and extracurricular activities just because you don’t want to?


No any party or event my children were invited to we went. If someone is making the effort to ask you to go why would you not go? You say you don’t want to engage with “strangers “. But what’s that saying - “Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet”. Get to know them and you and your kids might cultivate new friendships. Or more importantly your kids will learn manners that you don’t decline a genuine invite for no good reason.

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My kids aren’t old enough but when they are they WILL attend birthday parties.

Imagine going all out for your daughters birthday, and the friends you thought were gonna come, and then nobody at all shows up. That’s sad and the kid WILL remember it. If you don’t have a GOOD reason besides you’re ‘uncomfortable’ then yeah, you should go.

If your kids get an invite to a party it’s not really about you. It’s that the birthday person and parent thought about ur child and invited them.

My son hasn’t been invited and it hurts my heart. I can’t imagine how he’s going to feel for his birthday party. It’s this kind of thinking that has put real life social interaction to a minimum

The best way I’ve gotten to know any of my sons classmates and their parents is by going to all of those birthday parties. Last year we had over a month straight of birthday parties every weekend, but he had so much fun and I got to talk to parents while all the kids played.

Unless we have something important to go to, we accept and go to every party. Not only is it great for our kids but I would hate for one of my kids little friends to have no one show up

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My kids is not invited to parties, and I have had a few parties for 2 of my kids and no one, NOT EVEN family came. So that’s why we don’t do birthday parties. We have had issues where kids give out invitations to everyone but a select few, and sadly, one of those select few is my child. But they now attend a school where they Are pretty much the only white children. And they are made fun of for their skin color. Heart breaking in every aspect.

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Nope. We attend every party we are invited too (unless some extreme circumstances, but I’ll even rearrange our schedule to attend if I can). I can’t imagine not caring about a child’s feelings. Imagine everyone having your mentality? Think of all the sad kids. Nope I can’t, I will do anything possible to make a child special on their birthday!


I do my best to bring my children to any party they are invited to. It is important that young children build relationships with other children. Birthday parties are a great way for kids to meet their peers. I also hate the idea of any child not having any friends show up to their party. I have seen this time and time again on facebook posts. It is just so sad.

Gotta say- I’m amazed at the selfishness. I get the creeper thing but I’ve never ever dropped my kid off at a party and left. I always stay and get to know the parents that stay. It’s important that kids feel connected to other kids by experiences such as birthday parties. My daughter has a VERY hard time making friends so anytime she’s invited we do whatever we can to get her to attend (if she wants, which she always does). May be not a good stance but I let my child make those decisions. I’m not going to put her in an uncomfortable situation. And it gives me a chance to see how she interacts with other kids outside of her immediate circle of friends and cousins she usually hangs with (she’s also an only child)

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Im very introverted and i love being at home. Dont like dealing with people if i dont have to… but if it has to do with my kids i will 100% do it!! My kids go to every bday party theyre invited to! Once my kids got to 6yrs old i would just go in for 10mins and then leave my child there. Most parents expect that anyway unless you really want to stay. My daughters would b so upset to get an invitation and not go. And equally as sad if ppl didn’t show up for theirs!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Anyone else ignore invitations to kids birthday parties?

You seem like the only toxic one :woman_facepalming:t3:


your the toxic one! your a terrible selfish person to even think that…if my kids get invited to a party, hell yes we are all going regardless if I know them or not, you get to know them and make friends!


You’re letting your child miss out on memories and friendships because you can’t be bothered to deal with people? Hunni this was no longer about you the minute you had that baby. If her friend invited her then make the effort to show up. Good lord.


No I take my kids to any parties they r invited too as long as we r not away. I hope u let people know when ur attending as that is super rude if u don’t. Ur kids won’t be invited again and then will be asking U why.

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What’s toxic is you not god damn RSVP’ing yo a family who has made the bloody effort to invite your child. Cannot stand the new standard of just not bothering to let them know you aren’t or are coming and let the already stressed parents stress even more. Your avoiding your own discomfort by promptly handing
them to someone else.


If my daughter is excited about it then I usually try and make it happen. A homemade card and $10.

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It’s toxic to intentionally withhold your child from good sources of socializing and interacting with others because “I don’t want to”.

Your child shouldn’t suffer due to your inability to cope with a lack of social skills.


U sound like the toxic one lol

I only allow the kids to go to party’s at public places… :woman_shrugging:

Sounds like you might be the one making your relationships toxic :flushed::woman_facepalming:t2:


I take my kids to just about everything unless we can’t make it for another reason

It’s not about you tho, you’re stopping your child from having fun because you don’t want to. Selfish.


Wow! Have you ever asked how your child feels about this? If someone decides to invite my kid to a Bday that they have organized and spent money on, then I’m going to go.
You sound selfish! You might not like it but we suck it up and do whatever for our babies.

Maybe you should try get some help to deal with this before it adversely affects your child.

The polite thing to do would to RSVP if your child is going or not. If your kid can’t make it then say so.

Simple. I ask my kids if they want to go or not. :woman_shrugging:t3:

I’ll ask my children and tend to push them into attending just because what if it was the other way around, I remember being absolutely gutted because nobody hardly turned up at my sons party so it’s put me off doing them again xx


It’s about your kid’s, not you, this is their school friends and you as an adult can’t put your feelings aside, really??

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Nah, it’s my job to teach my daughter how not to be trash. That starts early! I’ll forever teach her that other people and their milestones/achievements are just as important as her own and should be celebrated!

But I mean, you do what you feel is best…

I don’t ignore party invitations from ANYONE! If they’re thoughtful enough to invite me in considerate enough to show up!!

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I value my solitude but I would always make the effort to take my son to kids parties… Half the time you drop off and come back at a certain time anyway, so it’s really not that big of a burden on you. :woman_shrugging:

Life’s not about you anymore, mumma. Do you want to pass your own social anxieties onto your child, because thats where you’re heading…


Seriously, every question on this page is ridiculous. These have to be posts for clout.

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Ignore? That’s incredibly rude. Do you have any consideration? At least rsvp no. :roll_eyes:

Also- it’s not about you. If your kid wants to go, or their friends will be there, take them. Don’t be so selfish.

Stop being selfish :unamused:

depends on if my child wants to go. If they don’t want to I won’t force it. But if they want to go of course we’ll go.

well you aren’t invited… drop your kid off and go. i hate parents who linger. i’m not paying for/nor entertaining you when i’m hosting for & watching the kids.

We don’t go to all of the parties we get invited to, but we definitely make an effort to go the the ones the kids really want to go to! Do what’s best for you AND your child! :heart:

I always take my kids to parties their invited too.

I would never. Wouldn’t want it to happen to my child. If we can’t make it, I be an adult and tell them so.

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If they’re sent to school sometimes they get mixed in with all those other papers they get sent home with. Once I didn’t notice an invitation until a month later.

I go to every bday party my daughter gets invited to

Honestly between my social anxiety and my short term memory loss issues I always forgot about them

Dude wtf. My daughter got invited to a birthday party in her preschool room and social anxiety aside, I felt the worst guilt of my LIFE for losing her invite. Meanwhile you’re just ignoring them? Did you even ask if they were wanting to go?

I sympathize.
Must be tough to deny your children pinochle social interactions due to your own lack of interest in fulfilling you role as a parent.
To be clear…I sympathize with your kids.
You? You just you just genuinely suck.

I put my kids happiness over my feelings. If we are invited we try to attend. I have seen kids who had parties and people not come and they look so hurt.

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Hell yeah I do. I hate when my kid gets invitations to random birthday parties at school. I do not know these people and I’m entirely too much of a homebody to just go to some random persons house or wherever for a party. Then just imagine the thought of trying to buy a gift for a child you know nothing about. Like really?? Don’t feel bad. I don’t “forget” I straight tell my youngest when he’s old enough to go to these parties alone (teenager years most likely) then he can go, otherwise I’m not trying to hang out with a bunch of strangers.

I do now. I tried to socialize with my girls daycare class friend’s parents at a party one time and Noone talked to me. Fuck them kids and their mom and dads lol jk but dang, that was shitty

You sound like a selfish bitch really just wow… I make sure my kid all parties she’s invited to… And if no kid shows to ur daughters b day party ur 100% fully to blame…

Mmmm feel like it’s a bit of a dick move . The kids love going to class mates parties .


I don’t always go either but I try to. I’m not the type to be sociable but I try to for my son. I want him to experience things and have fun. Be a normal kid.

Lol you sound toxic asf. You should have kept this one to yourself.

I don’t ignore them… if my kid doesn’t want to go she doesn’t go.

You ignore birthday invites?! Atleast Rsvp that you’re not able to go! The kids all look forward to birthday parties, especially if it’s a classmates party. Poor child, you can’t sacrifice a few hours of YOUR weekend for them to enjoy friends and families parties. We go to everything unless it interferes with my sons sports.


At minimum RsvP no. That parent is stressing bc no one RSVPs anymore. Also keep in mind one day your daughter may want to have a birthday party and people will react like you are now. It will be upsetting to the birthday child and stressful for the parents. You should ask your child if she would like to attend and yeah you should suck it up for 2 or 3 hours. But if you can’t afford to buy a gift or you simply don’t have the time then at least RSVP no

Have you ever had a party as a kid and no one showed up other than you immediate family? It sucks. If you can go and your kid wants to go then go for an hour.

If we are able to go and my child wants to go, we go. It is about my kid making friends and great memories.
I also hope that you would at least RSVP. It’s the polite thing to do.

No, I’ll be taking her. Sometimes these kids will invite their whole class and only one kid shows up because parents just don’t care anymore

If you’ve never met them before how do you know their toxic or apart of your family? Sounds like you’re making ur child’s friends your problems. Who automatically hates a child for inviting another child to a party you got issues dude

Girllllll my kids do/did not go until they were old enough to go to the little birthday by themselves. Cause I’m big on having my peace and no on knowing my business and I feel that type of shit just let’s people in on the shit nobody cares about. So I don’t go.

My kids started a new school this year. My youngest daughter just had her birthday this month. Out of 17 invitations to her classmates only one kid from her class showed up. Yes teacher got them sent out late. However seeing this makes me sad. It’s not about you at all. Not every kid has a big family or a million friends and honestly it’s nice to be invited and it’d be great to see people make an effort to let their kids enjoy the company of other kids their age. Get your head out of your a$$

Atleast let the parents know you can’t make it it’s a simple text can’t stand people like this

I hope people don’t ignore your invitations for your daughter :roll_eyes:

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My boys are asked about all parties. If they say yes we go.

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Yikes. You’re gonna be the reason your kid has social anxiety and/or no friends

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Nope my kids don’t go to birthday parties and they don’t throw them either. Most of the time my kids don’t get a party at all.

I ask my kids if they want to go, their childhood is not about me, its about them.

Boundaries are healthy you do not need to accept every invitation given to you
But don’t ignore, tell them thank you for the invite but no thank you
Its not wrong to say no

I make the effort to let my kids go, unless we already have previous plans then yeah we will rsvp buy a present & they’ll be there.

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Then you shouldn’t of had kids

If it was me I would let the kids go if they wanted to
Or not
I would put on the invitation
Sorry but my child is unable to attend
Your child’s birthday party
That way
You don’t have to explain why
It’s important not to put our fears and anxieties onto our kids
But when it all boils down to it
Your the mother so you have to do what you think is best

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Okay, so I’m not going to read the comments except tell you my pov.

First, my son is almost 7. Since he was 1, no one has came to his first bday except one person. So since then, I’ve kept it strictly inner family only.

Secondly, even though my son is almost 7, I want him to be able to make his own choices and tell me “hey mom, I want to invite abc and xyz”. Until those words come out of his mouth, it will continue to stay inner family only.

Thirdly, BECAUSE of the Secondly, I’ve talked to friends and family and they all said that while he may have one or two friends in class, if he wants to invite them, he will have to invite the entire class bc of fairness and kids talk.
^bc of this reason, is the only reason why I choose to buy TWO birthday cakes.
One for my son and the entire classroom and the second cake for the bday party that’s kept inner family only.
Just thinking about inviting an entire classroom full of kids and having to host and supervise so many kids and dealing with the parents sound stressful. Not to mention, expensive too.
So to avoid that stress, I just ask the teacher in advanced if it’s okay I buy a cake for the class and so far, I’ve been allowed to.