Anyone else sends their babies to live with grandparents/relatives while you caught up on bills and responsibilities? For a few weeks or months or however long, you needed to do right. Let me know or understand that this can be a good thing and that it’s not forever. To be better for them, I need to get the ball rolling. No drug/alcohol addiction or gambling problems, just super hard times right now. And if you were in that position, I’m glad you got better too.
Yes! I’m actually doing that right now. We have a massive home renovation going on and I’m trying to complete it before baby #2 comes. I’m feeling incredibly guilty being away from our son, but keep reminding myself that it is the best thing for him until we can literally have the renovation dust settle.
Send those babies to grandma if you need to. There’s no award for suffering through. It takes a village to raise these babies. You have that village. There’s no shame in leaning on it. Grandma will love on them babies like no other. Just try to give her as much as you can to make the time easier on grandma. These kids are different nowadays. Plenty snacks and tablets for grandma’s sanity are a must.
Grandparents raised you, did ok job…They are family … if they are willing to help … send your kid on adventure to get to know grandparents and you can get your stuff sorted…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Anyone else send their kids to live with their grandparents?
If you have family that will support you then do it nothing is wrong with fixing the problem it would be a problem if you stayed in the situation
I don’t have advice for you but I honestly hope the best for you. I’ll pray for you that you can get through this quickly!
You’re doing whats in the best interest of your babies! Good for you!
If you feel that is the best way to get your life on track then do so. Because your life if their life too. Just make sure you completely trust the family members. And talk to the kids so they understand mommy still loves then more than anything. Good luck to you and your family.
As a grandmother I would openly welcome my children’s children if that was what they needed to get back ahead. As long as they truly work to improve their life and their children’s lives. And they would have to be 100% open and honest about the problem as well as their progress.
There is nothing wrong with doing what you need to, to ensure your children have the best future. If you have the support to do it, then do it!
That’s cool just dont cut your kids out during that time either…you still need to be mom see them every other day call them let them know you still are there and coming back.
I think it’s a responsible and respectable thing to do. No shame in it. If you have support like that, take advantage while you are able
I use to send my son off every summer to work a lot and save
If you feel that’s what’s best for your family then by all means do so but just make sure you trust whoever it is you’re allowing them to stay with that they will give them back properly. Still visit them and still stay in contact
As a grandparent that has had my grandkids several times too let their parents get going in the right direction this maybe long but I want you too understand my personal experiences.
1st make sure your on the same page as parenting. That way there’s no confusion for the kids and how they are expected too act.
2. Consider also moving in with them. You will save even more money even if it means a different job.
3. If your need is too work on yourself too get healthy so you can be a better parent make sure your honest with your parents about the real reason.
4. Make sure your relationship with your parents is open and honest and they don’t try and make you look like a bad parent.
5. Nothing would upset me more when I had my grandkids and I heard or seen post on public pages of them out acting a fool.
6. Make sure you give your parents a break every now and then
7… VISIT YOUR CHILDREN
Are you intending it to be permanent or just temporary??? I was raised by my grandparents for half my life and they did an awesome job, but truth be told I would’ve rather been with my parents, stuggling or nor
So I’ve been on both ends. As a kid I lived with my grandparents for a year. I honestly never really thought anything of it. I love my grandparents and we did alright, even though we were states away.
Fast forward to me being a Mom, I sent my two babies to my Mom for a couple months because we were in a terrible living situation and I wanted them out of it. It was really hard as my youngest was just 8 months old at the time. I missed her first steps. But there’s no doubt that it was better for my kids.
That’s all fine & good as long as you are not dragging in men & laying around with them while your kids are living elsewhere. I also think you should show your income & finances on a weekly basis to whoever has your kids.
Yes my kids go to grandparent s, not to catch up on bills are nothing but to let them stay with them some , when I was a kid i stayed at my grandparents , it’s ok
Nothing wrong with that…grandparents love it…thats what family is for.
Depends on the person you trust to help. If you choose the wrong person You basically set your self up for not getting your kids back if you do it. What is best doesn’t always mean it will work how you wish. Some people will take your best interest and run with it. So I’d be incredibly careful
I think you are a good mother looking out for your children doing the best you can. Make sure you trust who they are with and that they won’t fight you when you are ready to get them back. However as a mother I would offer my children to stay as well. I am praying things get better for you.
I personally don’t like it. I see way to many girls do this and they always say, “I need to better myself” and this girl I know completely ditches her 3 kids on her mom, goes out and drinks and has two more kids, takes care of those ones while the other ones are still with her mom. It really bugs me. But where I come from it’s normal for girls to do this and completely abandon their kids.
If you are doing it to really better yourself and get ahead in life for them than do it girl.
Unfortunately my kids grandparents aren’t actively in their life by their choice,completely. And the ones who were are no longer with us
My kids don’t have caring grandparents so no I would never do that. But more power to you if that’s something you can do to get things going better for you and you’re kids’ lives! And it’s awesome they have family who sees that and is willing to help.
You are doing the right thing I went through this with major road blocks in between
Consider your self blessed to even have that option! My kids would be riding through the hard times right there with me an it’s not fun.
As long as you don’t completely abandon them. Make sure you visit every chance you get. Or whenever you have free time go and spend it with them. And make sure they know it’s only temporary and you’re not going to leave them there.
If you need someone to talk to message me. I’m going through the same thing, a little different, my 3 year old has an autoimmune disease that put her in the hospital. So when covid hit we all got scared
I sent my oldest to live with my parents while i finished school. It was absolutely the best choice i could have ever made and would 100% make the same choice again. I picked him up every weekend and made sure i was at all of his sporting events and school event’s didnt miss a thing of his…
I’ve had to do this before. They were at my moms for almost 4 months… It’s hard. It’s really hard to go without them but in the long run it helped tremendously. I would go pick them up on my days off and spend as much time as I could with them. They still love me and never got upset over it. And I’m so thankful for my parents. Just make sure you trust them to take care of the kids and to give them back when you are ready. Also don’t feel like you’re abandoning the kids. I did and I ended up in a worse situation that I originally was. Just stay in contact and visit as much as you can .
You do what you feel is best for your children, however, your kids don’t care about the hard times they care about being with you, spending time with you, you are mom and they love you unconditionally no matter what. Always remember that.
I wish I had this kind of support from someone sometimes😕 I’ve taken other kids in for a few months to help people out in the past. My children are always with me. No family here really.
Maybe move in with your relatives/grandparents while you do these things so you’re always home when you’re not catching up. You can be a helpful part of the household too and make it mutually beneficial
My daughter lives with my mother, and has for 2 years. If its in the best interest for your child then no one has a right to judge, you know what the right thing to do is. Our only job as parents is to make sure our kids are safe, happy, and healthy, and if that’s how things need to go for this to happen so be it. I had no substance issues, simply a bad relationship that left me seriously in debt and homeless for a period of time, that was NOT a fit situation for a 2 year old. Unfortunately I was young and poorly informed of how many ways I could have saved my home and kept my daughter but there’s no changing it now and my daughter is SO loved and cared for by so much family, if anything she has more by being away than she would have had with me at the time. Its hard but its possible. Make sure you trust the person taking them, with MORE than your life (because you are giving them more than your life to hold on to) know that they won’t prevent you from getting your kids back when you’re ready, don’t use the time to be distant from their lives. Everything works out when you’re determined enough
If you have that kind of support use it! That is a blessing that many other parents don’t get! Also children deserve the best so if it takes someone else taken care of your children while you get back on track for them that would benefit the kids and yourself so
Much! The kids will always love you and need you but being your best self for them would make it so much worth it in the end!
Talk to a worker not Facebook. Although this sounds like a good idea. You need to weigh the pros and cons. What if your parents decide your unfit and won’t give them back? Hugs good luck. I hope your parents are in a position to back away once. Your done your personal journey in experience with other moms who have done this it
Caused more problems than you can handle and if they are Gone more
Than 3 months your actual rights change. And your parents are the ones calling the shots. Red flags.
Make sure you go through a lawyer so they can get the child care, enroll in school, etc.
Yup i did it and my mom did it with me 🤷
Yup. Worst mistake of my life.
He was young, I had him weekends, but grandma unraveled all the discipline and routines I had for my son. He was 4 then, he’s going on 7 and it’s been a huge uphill battle.
If you do please make sure your kids feel safe and comfortable where they will stay
Iv gone through this when my mom had gone through really hard times
My siblings and I where placed in homes we where not so comfortable or safe to be just because they where our family doesn’t mean they ment well
I’m not saying your family is bad it’s just my experience
It’s not a bad thing it’s for the better it’s ok
Let your children know the truth so they will understand
I wish you luck and that ball rolls the way you need it to
I’ve never done this but when I was a kid, I was sent to live with my grandparents. I lived with them from age 15 to age 17. I excelled in school and was on the honor roll for the first time, my mental health was so much better and honestly i wish I could have stayed with them longer. I was pretty upset when my parents made me move back the summer before my senior year of high-school in an entirely new state. I ended up homeschooling myself my senior year because I was miserable trying to make new friends again. My advice is have a plan, try to figure out a time frame for how long they’ll be there, be open and honest with the kids by letting them know the plan and keep them informed if anything changes. I was literally told a day or 2 before i was shipped off to another state to live with my grandparents and didn’t give me much notice that I had to move to the new state where they moved while I was with my grandparents until a week before I had to move.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of! But remember if you get EBT, warfare or child support from for the kids it needs to the be offered to the person who will be taking care of the kids for that time.
No, I’ve had to steal food to feed my kids and still didn’t send them away. I fought harder than I ever thought myself capable and prevailed. I’m not rich by any means but I have a home, car and my family together.
I did! Much more so because i was homeless with her father and trying to get away from him safely. She had her from August-December. It was super rough on me, i was in a very abusive situation and without my reason for living. But her safety and health and happiness was and will always be my number one priority. And she absolutely loves her gigi. And gigi loves her. It will be hard for sure but i promise she wont forget you. And she will love you and understand when shes older.
I use to spend every summer with my grandparents and I loved it! They were in another state and it was like a vacation for me. I went fishing and worked in the garden and played with the farm animals. We also went to a few parks, fairs and yard sales…some of my best memories. I was also able to help my grandma with laundry and cooking and I learned a lot about country life. My parents didn’t send me for financial reasons, I just wanted to spend time with my grandparents. They are passed now, and I am so glad for those memories and experiences.
I will say my mom and I don’t always get along but she welcome to both my kids and I to her house to stay while I get back on my feet. So not that my moms that are going to read this but thanks Mom
If its best for.you and them then do it! At the end of the day tour not abandoning them your doing whats best and giving them a chance at a better life for you al! The best part is they can experience the extended family and feeling the love and not going with out due to hard times! You go momma if in your heart you feel this will help get steady and above the waters you go! Best.of luck momma babies love you no matter what
I was sent to live with relatives honestly if you need to do it then do it.
That would never be an option for me. Imagine how your kids would feel. If anything all move in with a relative.
Ashley Hensley nothing wrong with that. Children should be raised by their parents or parent. Grandparents are to vi
My best advice is to get this on paper… don’t trust anyone… they can try and take your kids from you… hopefully not! My opinion though is do what you have to do!! Times is hard and if you have people willing to help by all means do it
never but u gotta do whats best for your kids as long as you are working hard to be better for them then do what u gotta do
This breaks my heart. As a momma I cannot imagine how you’re feeling… it’s so sad that so many people are in this situation. This economy is awful. The pandemic hurt so many people. I’m fortunate enough that I haven’t had to do this… but I just wanna say my heart is with you. And you’re in my prayers. Don’t listen to the rude people. I know this probably isn’t easy for you to do. But if you need help, you need help. Keep your head up momma
I don’t have any kids, but my mom sent me to live with my grandma for serveral years. Because of that, I got to start school early and have access to medical, dental, and eye care. I got to skip a bunch of family drama and heartache. It was the best thing my mom could have done. I don’t blame her and thank her for that choice.
Always make sure your kids are taken care of. Our kids should always come first. Don’t let anyone judge your decisions when it comes to taking care of those kids
You do what’s best for you & your children. As long as you are all safe & cared for, that’s all that matters.
Last summer we sent our kids to stay with my husbands folks in NY while we were in Missouri. They were there the whole summer while we made the biggest move of our life. Bought a farm in NY and surprised the kids. Having them out from under our feet while we accomplished this goal was a godsend.
No but I did send my daughter and my son to their fathers house when I was trying to find a home and get back on my feet BUT it backfired on me. Took me to court for custody and won and I was ordered to pay child support and didn’t get very many visitation rights at the time due to me not having a home for them to come to…it all worked out in the end and they are now almost 24 and 21 and have homes and lives of their own😊 Nothing wrong with getting help but make sure whoever you choose to help you is being genuine bc some ppl take your downfalls and use them against you
I have no advice. My mom and younger brother are my only family. Hard times fell and I didn’t want to lose my house or risk moving out of the school district. So she and my teenaged brother moved in with me and my son. So I can afford to provide the best possible opportunities for my son. At first I felt like failure, but it was what was best for my situation. I didn’t want to rent out rooms to a stranger. We split the bills and she helps me with repairs. We help each other with kids. So we’re a team.
Single mom here. When times got hard I got a second job waitressing. My kids stayed at home and I usually found a teenager to watch them cheap
Me and my brother lived with our grandmother for about a year. It was more than fine! It was better than our home life at the time! Grandmother’s place was always like our second home anyway! It actually done us good as a family … we saw our mum couple weekends a month and she would often stay the Saturday night and it was great to see her getting better, getting back to herself and actually enjoying being with us and being our proper mum again. Plus it bonded our love for our grandmother too. As long as your children are comfortable, loved and familiar there you need to do what is best for your family in the longrun.
I would try and see what other options you have other than sending them away. No judgement at all, sometimes you gotta do what ya gotta do. Although as someone who was raised by grandparents for 11 years (3-14yrsold) make sure you are present in their lives. My mom wasn’t there for the majority and it still effects me to this day. She had me live with grandparents for pretty much the same reasons but she never was able to visit or anything. It really sucked as a kid wondering if your parents were thinking about you or just living life.
I now have a relationship with her so everything is good now though.
Like I said before if it needs to be done then go ahead!! No shame in needing help at all.
I don’t have advice for you. But my daughter went to visit her grandparents as a baby and now they won’t give her back but do what’s best for you and your kids
In the summers my boys go to their dads and thats when I play catch up on bills. If my youngest son doesn’t go, he stays with my nana while I do this. Life is hard sometimes. You just do what you have to. They see it as a mini summer vaca.
I would take on anyone’s children if it meant that when things get sorted they could all have a better and happier life together. best of luck to you and your children xx
Absolutely! But visit often etc. And don’t drag it on longer than it needs to take. Set your sights high for you and your kids… Make sure it’s in writting that you are taking them back, even if you think you trust them now, people and situations change. Best of luck
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. If you Arent stable enough for them right now and the grands are, then by all means send them. They will Thank you for it later. I personally have never had to do this, but if I ever did…I absolutely would to know he has what he needs and is safe while I get things back on track. Especially if its summer time.
No, but be careful Ive known people that have done this and lost custody of their children to the other family member. The kids know have a very broken relationship with their mother
My parents would send my brother and I to Florida with my aunts for a majority of the summer each year so they could work extra and work on their marriage.
Currently pregnant with a high risk pregnancy my two oldest have been staying with my parents since December they know that once baby sister is born and im fully healthy they’ll be coming home.
I moved to better myself and my daughter stayed with my parents. I saw her every weekend. Now I’m where I need to be. Moved back closer and my daughter is with me
I live with my grandparents growing up now I’m 30 my own child a very happy loving child.
I go to college, engaged & active in my community.
I loved it tbh it saved me
The only way my parents would take my kids is if I paid them a fee. My family doesn’t do anything for free. So, those of you who are lucky to have parents that will watch your kids, be grateful.
Is it an option for you all to move in with the grandparent, so you would have the support to get back on your feet, but still be with your child?
Just don’t abandon them my mom dropped me off at my grandmas and was gone for two years in another state
My 5 are with my mom right now. I’m being induced in 2 weeks but the baby will be in the NICU for a bit. I’ve been in the hospital for almost a week now. Dad works at 430 am and gets off at different times. It is what works best for us right now. My kids are 17 12 9 6 and 4
I have had all 3 of my grandchildren . mostly 1 or 2 at a time anywhere from 1 month to several years… while parents were getting their heads screwed back on straight … either due to financial, emotional or drug issues. That’s part of the great Privileges of being a grandparent. Eventually the parent gets their stuff together… and everyone is happier for it. The children get to know their grandparents and learn their rules are not always the same as their mommy’s rules and that’s ok! When with Mommy obey her rules when with grandparents obey their rules … Its quite amazing… its not at all confusing to them as long as you explain it to them… up front and remind them once in a while !! I have had all 3 of them a great deal of time the first year of their life… I was never paid anything and didn’t expect to be paid … they are MY grand children. While with me I supplied their clothes food and whatever else they needed.
I’m a parent/grandparent- this has been an issue but hopefully my kids now understand…
My theory- Children are innocent beings brought into this world… If my home gives kids a safe place so parents can get back on track, then darn sure my door is open n will be always. Children deserve the best n a tribe helps to achieve it…
Grandparents have a life also. Raising grandkids is not easy.a lot of work is required. Also ties them down. It’s a shame they have to do this.
If grandparents are willing and trustworthy, it can be great for them all - speaking as a grandparent that’s raising one of our grandkids. My best relationship ever has been with my own grandmother.
Because they lived out of state and in the country, we had neighbors whose children spent summer with grand parents every summer
I’ve had my grandsons since babies. We do what we have to for the best for the children. It’s hard work. Make sure you help your parents out when you can.
No, I kept them except when I went through bootcamp and training and then got them back after. I wouldn’t have left them if the Army didn’t make me. I think my kids learned so much watching me struggle though and it brought us even closer. I would be really careful about that situation.
You do whatever you can to be the best you can be as a parent. Nobody should judge you.
My grandma raised me and one of my younger brothers. Our real mom dropped us off and just disappeared. By no means am I saying thats what you’ll do. Just don’t let them feel abandoned. Still make time to go see them.
I would move with my children. Praying things get better for you. My oldest daughter 26 and three of my grands are moving back home this weekend. Times are so hard rite now.
I don’t suggest doing that. Instead move in with the parents and kids to save money. Thats kinda like abandonment. All live together. This way it’s not a burden on the grandparents with all the responsibilities
I couldnt separate period from my kids. They keep me going every day. I’m struggling now. Living with my brother. I asked if they wanted to go stay with their dad while I work 2 jobs and find a new house. My son said ill go to my dads for the summer like I do every year and come August well be together again. Family stays together no matter what…
I grew up from home to home since I was born mostly because my parents were kids have kids who wanted to Party and play but once my parents divorced it got worse the only normal part of my entire childhood was when my grandparents took me in that being said I stays with a lot of different family members and people I didn’t know until I was able to couch surf myself to my own apartment during my childhood I would say 99 percent of the places I went they didn’t want me their I was a meal ticket that came with state assistance and a free maid I cook cleans baby sat I was to no be seen or heard pretty much my entire childhood I’m all for family supporting family and I’ve been a single parent working full time and going to school full time I understand completely just if you really care about those babies call everyday even if your tired find the time even if they don’t want to talk send them loves stop by and spend as much time as you can also most important you need to know whole heartedly that these people truly care for and love your children and will not abuse them mentally physically or emotionally no financial gain is worth your child’s Innocence praying for your family and that your road to a better life is good for you and your children with a short time before you succeed
Damn I guess if you have that choice then take it but the a real struggle is doing it with them bc your older children will see what life is really like and it is not a bunch of roses being and adult. We have a 15 year old and he has seen our struggles in life and now he has seen how hard we have worked to get what we deserve. We moved from Illinois living in a run down trailer too here in Tennessee with a 210 thousand dollars house with hard work and motivation.
I haven’t sent my kids to live with their grandparents. But growing up I moved in with my grandparents when I was 13. It was the best thing my parents ever did for me. And screw the negative comments. Staying together just because you are family is not always what is best for everyone involved. If you truly believe it’s what needs to be done, that it’s better for them not just easier for you, then do what you need to do.
I worked myself to death for 2 years just to climb out of the financial hole I was in due to not being able to work much in the 1st year when my 2nd was born. They went to Grandma’s when I’d work back to back 16 hour shifts and really any time I worked. I would call, stop by after work and spend any of my off days with them. If you are fortunate enough to have the support of grandparents take it, especially if they are willing. Your kids will also enjoy the time with them. I grew up living in my Grandpa’s house (with mom who was single parent) and I loved every moment I got to spend with him. Grandparents love so much different than parents do and that bond is such a wonderful thing to have. I am fortunate to have a mother in law who would do anything for my kids (her grandkids) and loves spending time with them, they LOVE IT too. Doing this did allow me to crawl out of that financial hole, it was hard work and seemed like it took forever but in the end it was worth it to me. Yes, I missed time with them but I am no longer behind on bills and am actually ahead, can put them in activities they want to be in and bring them places I never had a chance to go to growing up. Do what works for you and is best for your family. It won’t be easy but let’s be honest, life is not always easy.
I would get everything in writing so they don’t try to keep custody.
yup, was worth it as I brought my kid back into a STABLE secure home.
Move in with your kids! Dont leave them… that effects their self esteem…
I have you have to do what you have to do for your children! If you need the help and have it for your baby’s to have a better future then do it! You can message me I can offer my experience!
im a single parent to 3 kids, dad is not around, dont get child support and struggle… still never thought about sending my kids to live with their grandparents… i do what i need to, to make sure me and my children survive regardless!