Anyone else send their kids to live with their grandparents?

Absolutely. This last trip I sent my daughter to her grampas for 2 weeks

As long as the parents are making productive use of their time and resources, itā€™s a wonderful family collaboration :heart:.
However, when the children are dumped off, no calls, no visits, no financial support, parents enjoying partying with friends. Thatā€™s a no, no! The children will grow up to recognize the difference.

No. But if itā€™s something you need to do to make your situation better for the children Then go for it. Just see them regularly if you can. Iā€™m sure it will be fun for them

Just stay present with them

If you need to send those babies to grandma so you can get your ish together, pack their stuff and drop them off. Grandmaā€™s gonna love on them like no other can or will. Theyā€™ll never know the difference and youā€™ll have the time and space you need to fall apart and put yourself back together again. Single parenting is hard. A village is necessary. That village is there for times like this. Lean on your village.

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Both my teenage girls live with their grandma, have been there for 6 months now and it was really hard at first, but now we are in a routine of visits ect things are feeling alot better and i am seeing the benefits of it. :fu:

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I was sent to live with my grandmother when I was 10 months old she got full custody of me and Iā€™ve been with her ever since she see me go through school she put me through college and to see me get married she still helps with her other grandchildren and her great-grandchildren to this day it all depends on what kind of timeline youā€™re looking at and make sure they understand the timeline because some grandparents will get bossy I want to keep her child and they can talk to deem you unfit to keep your child the only reason I stay with my grandparents itā€™s because my mother was doing bad in her life she was the one that was the drugs or gambling addiction all of that but I hold no remorse towards her

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I personally have not! But knowing you have a support system is a beautiful thing :revolving_hearts: Do what you need to do so you can get right for those babies :muscle:t4:This too shall pass :sparkling_heart:

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We lost jobs 6 mos apart then foreclosure on our house. My kids lived at my moms for about year while we saved and found another place. We put them to bed about 5 nights a week and stayed over on weekends when we werenā€™t working. Family sticks together!

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Unfortunately, I have been on my own since the age of 18, so count this as a blessing that you have the opportunity to do this. I have seen hard times and worked through them, by myself, for myself. My fianceā€™s parents have always helped if we needed it, but thatā€™s only been the last 5 years of my life having people to help IF I needed. Thankful for them daily. I pay them back tho, so maybe thatā€™s something you should think about doing as well in the future.

I think this is where itā€™s nice to have a 50/50 schedule especially if youā€™re married or in a relationship and doing it on your own. Iā€™m working full time, going to school for nursing, and trying to raise 4 kids who are in sports and an infant. So itā€™s nice to get that break from the 3 oldest. However, having them away from me for more than a week at a time, I think that would take a toll on me mentally but so does having them every other day. Being a parent is hard and you just have to do whatā€™s best for you and your family

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I lived with my grandparents for 4 years as a child because my parents were having a hard time. Iā€™m so grateful they were there for me and my brother to this day I would not be the same person if my grandparents werenā€™t there to raise me :revolving_hearts:

Sometimes itā€™s good for kids to be part of the hard times and maybe go without the frills. Itā€™s nice to have help but I also believe that shielding them from struggles isnā€™t always a good thing. Children need their parents to teach them what it takes to go through tough times, thatā€™s how they learn.

I was in a abusive relationship for 6 years, and when my kids dad ā€œwhy should I ave to buy anything for any of yā€™allā€ when I knew they be better off, than their insurance plan kick them off. So that set it in stone for me, my been living with their grandparents for almost 2 years and they are in a way better position now than I could ever provide for them.
And I have a good relationship and with them.
It doesnā€™t get easy but if it what you need to do, do it you know you will make the right choice

Nope. Mother said I made my bed and I had to lie in it. I figured it out. She only took one kid 1 weekend a month (never bothered with youngest) I worked too.

Only if the people I was wanting to help, were willing and financially and physically able without a strain on them. Iā€™ve never had to do that, thank God,but if I did my parents were never able to help in that way. I hope things start looking up for you.

My daughter spent a Summer at my sisters cause I couldnā€™t afford daycare for her that particular Summer.

Sent my 11yo son to Florida last October I live in NYC so dad can help with home school. Wasnā€™t an easy decision but it was for the best i have have taken 2 trip down to Florida to spend time and enjoy the weather now thinking about letting him stay for the next school year

Every summer we went to grammas for the entire summer, gave us a break from our folks and them from us.

So u had kids when u werenā€™t ready if your doing this

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Iā€™m shocked at how normal this seems from the comments.I thought you had kids then fought to the death for them.Cannot believe how many people rely on others

No but completely understand and think itā€™s great.

Why wouldnā€™t you go there to live with them too.

How does that help ?

Of course they can spend time away. Itā€™s part of social development. They need it.

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aka.,3 month benderā€¦LOL

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Hardest thing I ever did.

Skyler Garcia could send my grandkids here for as long as she needed.

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Can I send my husband

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A lot of families in New Zealand do this the grandparents bring the children up, while the parents work, nothing wrong with it.

I think its amazing that you have that kind of support system. I do however think that the children should still be with you. Sending your children off when things get tough?
Id think about what thought process this is teaching the kids.
Obviously if the situation is one where the children are at risk then most deffinatly.

I was homeless (lived in a hotel) for 2 years. My mother took my kids in and helped me while I got my life together, she was 5 blocks away. As soon as I could get a 3 bedroom house and afford the bills I picked the kids up and theyā€™ve been with me ever since.

Iā€™ve had my 3 yr old grandson since March and his mother hasnā€™t offered any assistance at all, not even dialed my number. Sheā€™s living in a battered womens shelter with her newborn , thinking she can work the system for housing and more financial assistance. Sheā€™s receiving foodstamps and financial assistance from the government for this precious child also. My son helps when he can, heā€™s a truck driver so his help is limited to weekends and some evenings during the week when he gets off early enough. My son takes his child to see his mother whenever she can work him into her scheduleā€¦lolā€¦Sheā€™s a winner forsure. Itā€™s a screwed up mess ! Iā€™ll do whatever it takes to keep this child safe, happy, fed and loved.

The only way to properly take care of your babies is to take care of yourself! Absolutely do whatā€™s best for the children at this time, so they can come to a happy, clean and safe home! You already did the hard part by admitting you have to get your life together! Visit everyday call and FaceTime a LOT!!! They will thank you in the end! Good luck mama!

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Always do what you feel is in the best interest of your kids!

Send them to grandparents until you can be the best you can be. Everyone saying my kids go where I go ā€¦ well yes but no ā€¦ from experience Iā€™ll tell you about my sister went down and out and her kids were with my mom while she got her stuff together and it was the best thing for them rather than seeing the toxicity and rock bottom she had hit! The kids were in a stable home had meals every night and help with homework and bed times it was stable and healthy unlike what theyā€™d have gotten from their mother at the time. So Keep your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel and actually try to be better this isnā€™t no small potatoes sending the kids elsewhere is a big deal make sure your actually going to work on yourself!

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No way Iā€™d never ever let them go. If I needed Iā€™d ask the grandparents to help with costs .

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Umm no I wouldnā€™t send my kids off, tho things may be tough get them what they need first then pay for everything else.
Say something comes up and the state sees that you sent them away because you canā€™t take care of them, there they go. You lost them cuz you already proved you would rather send them off than put them first. :woman_shrugging:t3: sorry just my opinion. (Yes Iā€™m a mom of 2)

If you have the opportunity do it

How exactly would you be catching up on bills without your children in the house?
If itā€™s about feeding them Iā€™m sure yoyr parents would be just as willing to help provide groceries? If itā€™s because of daycare couldnā€™t they help watch them? If you are a single workimg mother there is daycare assistance. Iā€™m sorry but if thereā€™s no substance abuse or mental health impairments how exactly u struggling?

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Iā€™d take struggling financially then struggling mentally with not being a mother Any day. Thereā€™s resources for financial help. U just gotta put in the work to get it. Think about how them kids will feel abandoned. They might not see it now but I guarantee they will when they hit teenager years and you will be resented.

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No absolutely not. I had my kids not my mother . they were mine but she babysitted when I needed but no they were my kids not hers but I raised all 4 my grandchildren that live with me

There are some judgemental people here :roll_eyes: everyone comes on hard times and everyone handles them differently. Doesnā€™t mean you ā€˜shouldnā€™t have had kidsā€™. For 3 years my work schedule was crazy and my mom/dad kept my daughter during the week nights to take her to daycare/school the next day and then Iā€™d pick her up and at bedtime take her over there. It worked for us and my parents offered. 3 years later and I can say I am doing it full time on my own, but that help was so appreciated. Nobody was lying when they said it takes a village.

Momma - do what you have to do to get you and your kids right. I donā€™t think I read where you said you werenā€™t gonna see them during that time, but either way, like you said it is temporary

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If you send them away .Give up all your rights
Then once you think you are able to feed them and give them their own place.
Then you need to start paying child support and start getting them every other weekend and holidays

Each their ownā€¦
I raised my two boys with
No child support
No food stamps
No housing
No help from family
Yes there were a lot sweat and tears on my part , working 2-3 jobs at times
But it was worth it.
I paid YMCA to watch them from 6am - 6PM
They learned a lot there also
So it all turned out great
I loved my boys and life does not go as planned
Itā€™s hard but also beautiful

Thereā€™s nothing wrong with reaching for family for help, being responsible and sending them to family for a little while, till you get yourself together is okay. Itā€™s much better than having them be hungry or in the dark with no electricity. You just make sure that if you choose to do this, and promise them youā€™ll be by to visit, or even call, you keep those promises.

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Took me 2 years to get over a abusive relationship. I had to get a lawyer to help me fight for custody back after many false allegations and accusations. I now have my own place and a vehicle. Reach out for help. Do not let your kids suffer. Let them at least have a safe place to go while you get it together. Trust me, my babies and i are already learning how to be happier.

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Yeah no. Ive been at rock bottom but Iā€™d never just send my kid away.

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Ohhhhhh I could spill so much tea about this!!! Worst mistake of my life.

If your family is willing to help youā€¦let them. Just donā€™t give over your rights. Iā€™ve seen that go badly for people. The family says just sign over your right so I can get assistance for the kids then they refuse to give tge children back.

Nobody is perfect. Especially if youā€™re a single mama. Iā€™m a single mama of 3 babies. I lost my job, in debt, lost my apartment, about to lose my car, struggling to pay for everything my kids need. So, I understand why you are thinking about allowing your parents to help. Thatā€™s what family is for. Youā€™re doing this out of love, not because you dont care about your children. You dont need to feel like you have to give up your rights as a parent, and should never let anyone make you feel like youā€™re not capable of being a mother. You just hit a bump in the road thatā€™s all. Iā€™m sure youā€™ll be around your children and wont just abandon them while theyā€™re staying with your parents. So, I say, do this for your children, and they will see that their mama loved them enough to make choices that helped bring your family together again. You got this girl. Mamas are strong and we should all learn to stick together and encourage each other :heart:

At least with kids at grandparents you can work as much as you can with no daycareā€¦and sleep. Less houseworkā€¦ hopefully they live close enough to see themā€¦
Tell them you love them and you will be together soonā€¦
Once you have yourself caught up and a little ahead you will be back togetherā€¦
This must of been a very hard decisionā€¦good luck mama
And please donā€™t listen to negative comments unless someone in your shoes they donā€™t know

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The fact they have grandparents (you have parents) that are willing to help is incrediblešŸ™ŒšŸ¼ and if thatā€™s what you need to get your life straight and make a better life for your kids then go for it

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I have my grandkids now because of a situation that I canā€™t talk about but I will say this. I donā€™t see a reason why if your parents are willing to do it you shouldnā€™t send them. My daughter will absolutely get her children back once her situation is settled. I believe that she made a good choice to have them come stay with me. They are safe fed and loved. Oh so loved. The only way the state would take them away is if there was abuse or neglect and it sounds like you are trying to find a way to make a way for your family. Donā€™t listen to negative ppl. Judgemental people do what you believe is best for your family. Good luck I hope all goā€™s well for you.

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Um. I mean for the weekend. Maybe a week or 2 in the summer when theyā€™re older. But no- I would not send my child away. I am her mother, and she is my responsibility.

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Hugs. Things will get better one day at a time

Iā€™m so sad by the amount of judgemental comments I have seen on this. I feel this is a lose/lose because I recently saw a post where the family was homeless(cant remember which mom group it was) but everyone pushed the mom to have the kids stay w/family instead of being homeless w/her. This mom sounds like sheā€™s trying to prevent that situation and be proactive to make sure her kids dont suffer with her and people are on her and judging ā€œwhos responsibility it isā€

Personally you do whatever you need to do to keep your kids safe, happy, and fed. I have had extreme lows with my oldest and we struggled hard and I needed to lean on my parents for help.

All 3 of my children spent far more time at my parents then with me in the last year. I work in a hospital so in the height of covid they lived with my parents for their safety, then as things settled they ended up there again when I got covid and was very sick, lastly they ended up staying there 5 nights a week until school finished because it made more sense then dragging them out of the house at 5am to drop them off on a school day when I had to be to work.

As long as you trust who they are staying with and the kids are comfortable I say do it. Why make your kids suffer or watch you suffer if you dont have to? It is hard to admit you need help so kudos to you for acknowledging it and putting them as a priority over your own feelings because Im sure you are emotionally wrestling this already without all the negative comments!

I have and will take my grand kids any time my kids need me. Any time!!!

My parents did this and then my grandparents kept me and essentially kidnapped me for 11 years. Donā€™t do it.

Tbh I think people really need to do whatā€™s best for their own personal situation regardless what others think. Too many people can be judgemental without being in possession of all the facts. My mum struggled with 4 of us after my stepdad split and was a downward spiral till the point someone called social Workā€¦ I was put into a kids home, was meant to be for 21 days but ended up 3 yrsā€¦ My 2 younger sister went to Foster family but u can say that this intervention actually caused more harm than goodā€¦ Me n my sisters donā€™t talk to either sister. I honestly think if my mum was able to send us to a relatives house for few weeks then things would have been far betterā€¦
You do whatā€™s right for you.

Yes Ashley proud of you.you got this .I love you so much.tell ivory we love her.

My grandparents raised me until I was 14! I loved everything about it and I look back at some wonderful experiences. I really learned so much from them and it made me a better person for it!

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Grandparents will not usually interfere with parents raising their childrenā€¦but once you raise that barrierā€¦they respond and bond with that childā€¦and are a fierce protector of themā€¦its hard to relinquish that responsibilityā€¦to a parent that has passed that responsibility to themā€¦and now wants to take it backā€¦would be best to all move in and all move out when able toā€¦

I was sent to live with my maternal grandma for a whole school year (2nd grade) when my mother was dealing with health issues. My mom couldnā€™t leave the house we lived in and move with me. My grandma was able to attend to me the way my mom couldnā€™t at that time, and I was old enough to understand what was going on. Now, Iā€™m not sure if this is relevant to this situation, as it seems there is other things going on. But personally, I could not imagine, being a mother now myself, putting my child in someone elseā€™s care for a long period of time unless I physically could not care for them.
I am now blessed with a big family that gladly helps out when needed, and I believe it does take a lot to raise a child(ren). Asking for help is not a bad thing at all! Maybe there is an in between plan that could be made instead so the child doesnā€™t get a feeling of abandonment.

My grand parents pretty much raised me! Do what you have to doā€¦ :slight_smile:

When your the grandparent raising them, where do you send them?