Anyone else send their kids to live with their grandparents?

Absolutely not. I have struggled, but my daughter has stayed with me. Im never too tired from working and supporting her to do my duty as her mother FIRST.

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I sent one of my children to her father while I works through some issues and get myself and my children in a better situation than I was in. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t let her come back and we didn’t get to see her for 10 years. She was seven when she left :sweat:

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I feel like I’m on the opposite side of all these comments as reading this made me cringe. This is my personal opinion, so take it as you will… Never would I give my children to anyone else to raise, whether it be a short time frame or not, they are MY responsibility. I clothe them, feed them, give them shelter, unending love and support. They became my responsibility the moment we decided to try and get pregnant every time. So, no, I would never send them away to stay with anyone as they are my children. My parents already raised their kids, they don’t and shouldn’t be raising someone else’s, regardless if they’re relatives.
Why does sending your kids away make you more financially stable? Can you not feed them? Clothe them? What exactly would you be doing differently NOT having them in your care? A lot of unopened questions here…
I don’t mean to judging, but my brain automatically thinks that if you weren’t in a financially stable predicament before hand with housing, bills, career, etc then why have kids?
I have a feeling this comment will get a lot of backlash, but those are my personal feelings so maybe take it with a grain of salt if you must.

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If you have family willing to help you during a tough time, you are very fortunate!! As a parent, I would definitely hope my daughter came to me and was honest about her struggling, and I would absolutely be willing to help as long as she was honest with me! I do not think you should feel bad for this either, but obviously it’s easier said than done! As long as you are putting your children first and doing what is in their best interest, that is what is important and admirable.

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I haven’t but if i was struggling financially or any other way, I wouldn’t be against sending my kids to their grandparents for few weeks until i get to pull my shit together and make better life for them. But I wouldn’t let it become permanent tho.

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My mom sent us each separately or in twos to my grandparents for one week in the summer when i was maybe 6 yrs old. I remember it mostly fondly. It was in the same state… Just 90 mins away. I dont know why. I think to give us kids a change of scenery. It is all how you frame it!

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I lived with my grandparents from the age of 7 to 15 when I left school and was sent back to them to cook and clean and pay my way did love my mum but the bond wasn’t as strong as it should have been as for my dad I was glad when he died. No I would not send them to live with my parents we coped ok we had a home, food and heat and are a very close family

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My mom did this for me and my sister as kids. My grandparents lived up in the country and we had lots more things to do. We would stay with my grandparents most of the summer, and mom would catch up on bills by working double shifts. I thought she just wanted us to have time with grandma and papa, I only learned the truth a few years ago.

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My son stayed with his grandma for a few weeks when he was a baby because I was homeless at the time, I didn’t want him couch hopping with me or end up with no roof over his head. I felt like the worst mom at the time but knew it was the right thing for him. You gotta do what you gotta do! :purple_heart: Thank you Elayne Adkinson :heart:

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I had full custody but yes their grandma took them for a few years so I could get back on my feet. Still went to every game/performance and pick them up on my days off

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Personal opinion here so don’t get your panties in a wad. I couldn’t send my kid away I’d miss him to much, hes 15 and I dont like being away from him he’ll leave soon enough as it is. I am a single mom, i get no financial help from anyone. I’m a factory worker not a professional person. We struggle sometimes, but being together is what helped us get through. I know many grandparents who have raised their grandchildren. I think my opinion is because I am an older mom. When my grown children were small they spent lots of time with grandparents, my 15 yr old has grown with only 1 living grandparent. He sees her daily she lives close by. But you do what’s best for you and yours. It’s what I’ve done.

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But dont expect your parents to foot the bill for raising your kids. They’re yours, not theirs.

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I spent every summer at my grandparents from like 8 to 15, while my parents worked OT and got caught up. I support doing this as long as the grandparents/whoever is in agreement

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I raise my grandson since birth due to his mother in addiction it’s hard work and respite for a change to rejuvenate is a must :hugs:

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You do what’s right for you and your children. You know your situation is. Kids shouldn’t have to suffer or worse because of someone else’s opinion. You work that out between you, the grandparents and your kids. That’s what family is for, to be their when needed. Good luck and prayers for you and your family.

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My apartment was infested with bed bugs, my daughter stayed with my grandparents for the 6 months it took for the apartments to solve the problem, luckily they live with in 20 minutes of me so I saw her all the time. Of course I was raised by my grandparents so I dont see an issue. My mom lived in the city and we lived over an hour away in the country, but I admit I preferred my grandparents and ended up asking to stay with them because my mom had a drinking problem. She wanted me to come back but I refused.

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Do what you have to do to get YOU better. My daughters husband walked out on her n four kids for a 20 yr old girlfriend. My daughter is only 33 n two of the kids were his from a previous marriage. She took none of my advice, did not file for child support, or get a job. She sank into deep depression and ended up being evicted. All four kids now live with his mother in a trailer. My daughter lives in her car. She poops n showers at truck stops. She still won’t get a job because she has a puppy and she won’t take it to a shelter and has no where to leave it while she works. (That’s her reason) I live in Florida, they live in Tennessee. She still sees her kids almost every day. She will not leave. She does nothing to improve her long term situation. Her only thoughts are of today, where to sleep n such. I don’t know if drugs are involved. Never have been in the past, but now??? I’m very upset and confused. She was the best ever mom, and now…??? So please, take care of you, so you can be the mom they deserve.

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I stayed with my grandparents while my mom got it together. I thought it was just a fun vacation. I was super happy to see her when she came to get me and I got some quality time with two people who meant the world to me. I don’t believe it traumatized me in any way. That’s what family is for.

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My two oldest go to Orlando for the summer with my grandparents (an hr away) not really to catch up on bills but mostly to catch my sanity for a while (and work without paying for child care) there’s nothing wrong in it you shouldn’t feel guilty it’s a support system and they love every moment they have with them.

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My mother and father in law live just 2 hours from us. Just a few weeks ago my 2 year old had an ear infection and my mother in law insisted on taking our child so my husband and I did not have to miss any work. Absolutely, if it means it’s best for them for the moment then you do whatever you need to mama!

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Personally, I could never do it. I’d have to move in with them at grandparents.

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Raised by my grandparents.
Best thing they could have done for me! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts: they were still around on and off but as an adult I can see why I ended up with my grandparents. And I’m lucky as can be cause they raised me to be an amazing person and mother! :wink::heart: take care of you mama!
Bring em back home when the environment is better then the grandparents.

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I’ve had my grandson for 7 years. Love him so much.

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If grandparents are able they would probably love to have the kids for a long visit in the summer. It could be a real treat for the kids too.

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It also depends what you tell your children… And their age. Last thing you want is for them to think you’re a burden or the reason you’re having a hard time

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No. You had the fun of making them, you get the fun of raising them. Asking their grandparents to help is one thing, asking them to do yoyr responsibilities for you - absolutely not!

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What?? … that’s an option …. Wait …. My son is 17… is that to old to do that :stuck_out_tongue:.
I didn’t know that was a thing… but if it works for you … go ahead…
I have so many amazing memories of spending time with my grandparents on the weekends when my dad refused visitation rights… you do you …

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Last year my kids went to my mom’s for a month bc I wanted to kill myself. Now they stay with my sister during the week but that’s just because my town took away the all day summer care program.

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I’ve stayed at my grandmother’s…my two oldest have stayed at their grandmother’s…and I have kept my grandchild for a bit till the Mother got back on her feet…family helps family…its all good as long as the parent uses that time to catch up or deal with what they have to deal with! :blush::heart:

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Wasn’t in the position to be the parent to make that decision but I lived first 5 1/2 years of my life with my grandparents. I loved it I was loved , fed, had family ( Gran had 13 kids-2 younger than me and two close to my age. I don’t think badly of my Mom and Dad. They did what they needed to do and came and got me once they were better settled. :heart:

Different situation for me… My parents thought the same thing and ended up never getting us back. Im glad because our grandparents were able to give us the best life and it helped keep them young and active but there’s also a lot of built up resentment towards our parents.

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I was always happy to take my grandson for the summer, and he and his mom live with me now. Hard times call for families to pull together.

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Yes you do what’s best for u and your kids…if your family will help then let them. Get right and let them come back.

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Never would I be able to sleep not having my children with me!
I was a teen mom, and no one was raising my kids but me!.. ever!

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Depends. I don’t let my kids spend too much time with their grandparents (their dad side). I lived there for almost 2 months back then. Constant yelling, fighting, backstabbing, “do it my way”. Narcissist. In short, it was a toxic environment. I thought it was only bcoz they never liked me, but it’s who they are. I gave it a little try, my kids becomes funny (their attitude and say stuff they shouldn’t). They became judmental. So, i told my self… i would rather make adjustments and sacrifice a little bit rather than let them spend their time with that kind of environment. No amount of Money could reverse the mental health problem my kids could develop. So, assess the environment, ask your self, ask if its ok with them. then, take it from there. If you think the grandparents are great people then consider yourself very fortunate and do what you gotta do. Others, like myself, that my family lives overseas i have no option but find another solution till my son is ready. No regrets tho at least, i do what i can to raise them well and knows respect towards other people.

Knowing ages would help. If old enough explain and ask them. Some rather live lighter then leave home. Some might be so for it. If younger then I would say if they are willing do it! This post is putting the children first. Do it and don’t look at it as failing but being the best mom you can and always making sure they have all they need.
Proud of this poster!

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I asked my parents to have my eldest years ago because I suffered post natal depression years ago, really badly,:slightly_frowning_face:and he never held it against me,cos I told him why he lived with them,and he moved out of theirs to move into his own place,x

We had our granddaughter, while her parents got their life on track. She resented it, grew up bitter, blamed everyone for her problems. She still will not take blame for her wrong decisions in life, or have anything to do with family to this day. ( Guess it is like been sent to a foster home) no matter how much you love them.

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Never did it.but you know what’s best for you and your kids. Best of luck.

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There are a lot of us out here that can’t wait to have grandkids and want to spend as much time as possible with them. If it makes things easier for my child and my grandchild, I’m excited to be able to help!

Spent many of my summer break from school at my grandparents house because of parents working two jobs during the week and then bartenders on the weekends. And loved every minute of it and wouldn’t change anything. :heart::pray:t2:

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Hi, I would reach out to a foster care agency in the area. If there are kids in need of help they will create a case plan for the kids and parent/guardian. In that case plan is generally support for housing, food, daycare assistance, and therapy if needed.

Foster agencies get a bad wrap of just coming and taking kids, but they don’t take them unless there is abuse or neglect. If a family is struggling and they reach out for help they will generally get the help they need or at least pointed in the right direction!

Why doesn’t she stay with them if her parents are willing to help then I’m sure they wouldn’t mind her staying

First of all im proud of you got recognizing you have a problem and wanting to do better for yourself and your child, not many do that. If you feel like thats what best for your kids rn there is no shame in that. Better with family you know and trust than dcs taking em and placing them with a stranger. I would however write a contract with said grandparents to protect yourself and have you and them sign it with a time frame and have it notarized. When my ex husband and I were together I didn’t know this for a while but he and his gf had a kid together and did this bc neither had or could keep a job when they had my step daughter. They didn’t have stable rooves over their heads and he was using meth while with her. They signed a letter to my ex in laws giving her temp custodial rights to my step daughter and mind you at this time in my state grandparents were given same rights as parents before it was later changed. Anyway, when they separated and years later got her life together and got a good job and husband she asked for her daughter back and my ex in laws refused. She eventually had to take them to court to get custody back

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It takes a village…and don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks

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My mom & dad did when we were quite little. Grandma & Pa had a farm up on a hill outside Dover,Ark. I got to play with many cousins. My mom was recovering from hypothyroid disease so she needed a break from two babies!

My granddaughter stay with me for 2 weeks to give her and my daughter a Rest from each other and it done and both good now very close

When my son and his wife were struggling with marriage issues, I went and got their then 2 kids for 2 weeks. I was working and they were very young and I paid a neighbor to watch them during the day while I worked. Later their mom came to our house and told us she and our son were over but she didn’t have a place to live with her kids and was pregnant with number 3. We took them in. She got a job and an apartment, then had the baby. She and my son tried again for about a year, then broke up for good. My daughter-in-law is my son’s ex but like a daughter to me. Is now a health care professional and raised 3 great kids. If she showed up on my doorstep today asking for help I would welcome her with open arms. Or any of my grandchildren. I in fact raised my other son’s daughter. She is 21 and lives with me still. They are all family.

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Kids go to summer camp. My mom would have jumped at the he chance to take my kids for awhile if I would have needed it. She was probably wishing I had.

I would miss i kids too much & they would miss me

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My parents used to send me to stay with my grandparents in the summer. I loved the experience

I had to get a friend to take care of my two sons for about 3 weeks while I secured housing. I gave her enough money to feed them and I visited 2x’s/wk. That was Deborah Storey Ravis and I will never be able to thank her enough.

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If they are baby sitting then I think it’s fine but to send them over there only if the grandparents have the means to afford that then by all means

No I don’t get it I have never thought for a sec to leave my babies with anyone and it was very very bad times for about 5 yrs and they never even knew

My parents were never there to do this they wanted to charge me for grandparent time “babysitting” til I got sick of it now they cry why don’t my grandkids want to see me :clown_face:

I would take my grands in a heart beat but I think it’d be healthier for the kids if I help supported their family to get them on their feet :tipping_hand_woman:t2:

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I have always provided a clean, safe home for my grandchildren to stay. One day, one week, a few years. No questions asked.

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No. Never had that luxury. My children were all mine through thick and thin.

I think that is wonderful. In my book it is wonderful to establish a special bond with my grandchildren!

Be carefull!!! Idk how to say this without scaring u bc idk ur family or what state u live in but im n a custody battle with my ex mother in-law right now bc I was n a tough spot at the time and she was willing 2 care 4 them while I got back on my feet but then when I got on my feet she wouldn’t give them back and has filed 4 emergency custody. I miss my girls terribly and now im sad/angry all the time and its putting a major tole on my relationship with my bf and a MAJOR tole on me physically and emotionally so if I could go back I wouldn’t let them go no matter how broke I am at least I would have them 2 hold and kiss every night and day​:sob::sob::sob::sob: listen I know it sucks 2 b broke but ur kid(s) don’t see the money or lack of it, they only see u and when they get older there not going to say " I wish I could of lived somewhere else bc u were so broke" there going to say “yeah we were broke growing up my mom did here best and loved us and thats all that matters” so please cover ur ass if ur going to let them go stay there get something n writing or something just don’t b like me broke again from attorneys fees and without my girls​:sob::sob: sorry ur dealing with this.

My grandson lived with me and I would not change it for anything

Make sure Grandparents can and will do this don’t just bump the children.

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Sometimes Parents also just need a break.
Its fine to let them have time with grandparents, I enjoy my time with grandchildren and they enjoy a break from parents.
Parents stressed …send them…don’t abuse them or worse…I will take any child from anywhere for however long. Welcome to send my way.

It’s pretty obvious the answer is it depends, and only you know what all it depends on

Look hun we all fall on hard times especially these times and anyone shaming her u have to stop and put ur selves in her situation she’s making one of the hardest choices

I always went in the summer for a week or two to spend time with my grandma she lived out of state this gave us time to catch up! Always loved it♥️

As long as you’re aware of grandparents rights where you live and trust the grandparents to not file for custody or claim abandonment to get custody of your children, which is more common than one might think.

My girl went to live with my mum when she was 14. She is now 23 and is still there. I see here more now then when she lived with me.

I couldn’t be away from my son but that just me.

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If family is willing and able to help take it …do not feel bad for asking for help.

Nothing wrong with spending a little extra time with family. Mini summer vaca for them

Then my little sister left her 3 kids with us to raise while she went to another state looking for work. Her kids turned out fine. But like I said family first?

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My grandmother would drive over to our house just to make sure my baby sister and I would. Leave to school back in the days. She would make a comment on my makeup? And we would do this stare at each other. I would leave for school, and later in the evenings she would call my mother and gossip or explain how things went. My mother went back to teaching full time, my grandmother was the right choice. Until I got old enough not to be waited on. We were both latch-key kids. My grandfather, father worked long hours too! And grandma helped us with homework too! You, find help with family first, before reaching out to new people? It didn’t cost her anything, it gave her something to do.

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If grandparents want to, otherwise why out it on them, they have raised their kids already

I remember my parents doing that a few times every summer when i and my brother were younger. it was a fun time. we played in the creek, ran around the woods, went fishing- i would catch baby chickens and try to teach them how to ballroom dance… if nothing else, my grandparents got a few really good memories from those times. and now that i’m grown and they aren’t around anymore (they died of dementia almost 7-9yrs ago) it’s also given me something to think back on fondly too. mostly, all i can really say is it depends on the grandparents and their relationship with your kids. it can be a wonderful time. magical even. but again, it depends on the grandparents.

Saying right now do not sign any paper work for guardianship or anything if u don’t want this permanent

What did your parents do when things got stretchy for them? Jus wondering?

When I was small I would go stay with my mema in the summer.

Growing up did you ever spend weeks at a time at your friends or grandparents/cousins house during the summer?
I did :raising_hand_woman:t3:
Sometimes did my mom set it up? Yup. I’m sure she needed a break.
Did most of the time I set up the “weekly visits” at my cousins and friends houses. Sure did!
I bet that helped my mom out, and I didn’t even realize it.
It doesn’t matter if you’re doing it because you need help or because your kids/family want to do it.

All I have to say is do what is best for you and your babies! :heart:
Nothing but positive vibes coming your way.

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Yes. Don’t be ashamed or afraid to ask for help

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I spent a lot of time with my grandparents when i was little, i was sent to them quite regular and i loved beiing with them. Learnt lots off the both of them, cooking, cleaning, old school sickness remedies, how to do basics things on a car like change battery, tyres, etc. I miss them lots n often talk about them to my children. So i think its a privillege also. Nothing wrong with asking for help.

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I have all ways did my best for my grandbaby’s

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Anyone wanma take care of my kids w/ adhd

Yup. Send my son to his grandmas for the summer.

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My parents are dead so no.

That’s why we’re grandparents!

I moved home with my parents this year and my two kids so I can save for a house. Money is hard we are all just trying to get by as parents - be gentle wigh your words people.

I applaud this mom for trying to get her life together… and has reached out for help with the kids. Kids don’t need to witness adult problems… and who knows the mental state this mom is in! So glad she wants best for her kids… and sending them somewhere safe. Damn! This woman is doing the right thing… and still getting criticized!

My mom had my cousin take care of me for months while she worked night and day. I hated it at the time cause everything I was used to wasn’t there. Stepfather was in another state and I hardly got to see my mom. I tried staying up every night to see her and would fall asleep on the stairs.

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My daughter went to live with my mum for six months from 2 and a half to thee. My son who had just turned twelve was diagnosed with cancer and he had 5 rounds of chemo at our children’s hospital, multiple surgery’s and tests, he was really sick and needed me with him. There was no way I was leaving him in the hospital to face all that alone. When my son got better and we were able to go home, my daughter came home too. I’d seen her as much as I could but being so little they change so quickly and I had to get to know her again.

Its better to keep the kids with you, trust me. Pawning them off on anyone, even for a really good reason, breaks the ties that bind. In the end when you are older and look back, you will be glad that you kept them with you.

Nice to have that option. Good Luck to you. :+1::+1::+1:

I’d never leave my kids :woman_shrugging:

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You have to do what is right for you and your family. If they have ro go to grandparents then so be it. Get yourself back in your feet and get your babies home with you. If they understand, tell them the reasons why.

As long as you have a good relationship with them and you don’t feel they would tell courts you abandoned them. There should be no shame in it. Lots of kids stay with grandparents while parents work etc. if there was room I would move in too though to make sure everything was getting done and help around the house. Kids can be messy. But I know that’s not alway feasible

If it’s for babysitting purposes and shes a single mom sometimes it’s the only way to really get ahead…my daughter is 24 now, but I when she was younger I was a single mother and it was hard to stay afloat and get buy…I always stuggeled…maybe if more single mothers had the option and relatives to help out with kids they could get ahead too but not everyone has the support.

I personally wouldn’t do it for months, maybe a few weeks. I would think your child would miss you. I would ask them maybe for some help financially, I mean technically they are giving you money since they will be feeding your child, bathing him will add to their water bill, they will be buying little things like toothpaste shampoo etc, unless you will be giving them money for that. We’ve had to ask my parents for a loan and just pay it back.

As long as they don’t turn on you and try to keep them

We kept our great granddaughter for 6 1/2 months

I always wished I lived with grandparents instead of angry mom and hated visiting angry dad with pissed off girlfriend that would be mean and get her revenge … if you love your children and don’t regret their existence then do not send them to live somewhere else …they need you …