So I have a vent slash asking about others’ experience, so I’m 20 weeks pregnant with number 3 but 2nd pregnancy. I go in tomorrow for my ultrasound, and I have to do it alone we are doing a gender reveal party, so I won’t be finding out the gender until. With my family, so that’s not the issue. I’m freaking out because if there is a problem with the baby, then I’m alone in dealing with the news. I won’t have my husband, who is my rock, with me, and I will have to be the one to tell him later at home. It’s been a while since we have done this. My daughter is 9, and my bonus son is 12. This baby was planned way before the pandemic. It just happened, unfortunately, during the pandemic. I suffer from bad anxiety, and my husband is the only one who can calm me down and make me feel safe, and I hate that I have to do this with out him. When we first got pregnant, he was allowed at the apts, but they recently changed that, and now he can’t go to the biggest apt. As I said, this is more of a vent, but I would love to hear from other moms who have had to deal with this situation thank you.
Unfortunately that’s the way things are during this pandemic. I just gave birth 3 weeks ago to my daughter, and my husband wasn’t allowed at a single appt, I have another child who’s 11, but this is his first child.
I would recommend FaceTiming your husband while at the appt. He won’t be able to be with you, but that way he can still be present.
Most places are not allowing partners/visitors. My partner was allowed in 2 visits, the first sonogram and one where we discussed removing my tubes. He wasnt even allowed in the er when we thought i was miscarrying. It sucks!!! And makes no damn sense
Don’t worry you won’t need a gender reveal under the dems…
Don’t know the answer but I had to find out baby no longer had a heartbeat alone. Devastating.
A lot of ppl are doing zoom calls at these appts.
I have been video chatting with my husband at every appointment but it’s still not the same
My husband wasn’t allowed to come to 90% of baby appointments or ultrasounds due to covid.
My baby is about to turn 4 months next week… She was born last September so was pretty much pregnant during the whole start of the pandemic… partner was only allowed to 1 ultrasound … (not even the ultrasound find out the gender )… it’s was very tough…and i know it’s easier said than done. But, you should start now looking into ways to control your anxiety with breathing exercises. Your baby feels everything you do. And I’m telling you now, doctor appointment for baby now is just 1 parent allowed only too. I have another child who just turned 10 … it’s been a big help having an extra pair of hands and my personal experience from baby #1 has helped alot with baby #2.
I did my gender reveal personal between my partner and I. So it was very special for us.
And yes alot of places are allowing zoom calls doing the ultrasounds.
Wish you luck
I got pregnant in March, after 2 years of trying, right before the shut down. Talk about timing. But, to answer your question… no, my husband was not allowed to go to any of my appointments. It was heartbreaking because this is our first and only child together (I have 1 son from a previous relationship and he has 2 sons from previous). But we made it work. I was also high risk so was monitored heavily and had a lot of appointments. I FaceTimed him during the ultrasounds so he could be involved though. Now, our daughter is 1 month old and we don’t even think about before. Yes, I wish he could have been to all the appointments like he wanted to be but we got our perfect baby girl at the end and he is able to be 100% involved now which is what counts.
Can you perhaps wear one of your husbands shirts to the appointment that smells like him? It may help you with your anxiety somewhat. I agree with others about using a video call so he can be with you in some way.
I miscarried in March of 2020 and had made all my appointments alone and then at the er completely alone. Ended up pregnant in May and I will say that going to all my appointments alone was scary, but put good vibes out there. I have never been able to have anyone with me at any off my appointments and I am 32 weeks. I did pay for a 3d/4d ultrasound to be done at a private company so that I could have a few loved ones there with me and allow my 12 year old the experience of meeting her sister. But, definitely do a call with your loved ones
Idk where you live but some places aren’t allowing anyone with you at delivery either. My friends daughter just had a scheduled c section by herself.
Mu husband wasn’t allowed in my delivery he didn’t get yo see our daughter until visiting hours
There are many other women who are going through the same thing you are. Because of this pandemic and to stop the spread it’s their rules only the person who needs to be at the appointment is at the appointment. I feel for those who are going through this for the 1st time by themselves. You atleast had 2 other pregnancies that you got to share with your husband, these other women had that taken from them. Most places if you ask will let you do video calls, even tho it’s not the same, your not completely alone. Good luck, and congratulations on your new lil one.
Same here. Do a video chat with him so he can see the ultrasound and hear what doctor has to say along with you.
Find a different doctor
The best thing is have him wait outside for you. It’s crappy to not have our s/o there. It’s horrible to think of all the what if’s especially having to hear the news alone. But sounds like zoom is the way to go.
I am not allowed to have my fiancé with me at any appointments at all. I couldn’t face time him during my ultrasound-which is when we got some stressful news. I recommend wearing his shirt or something that calms you down.
You can video chat but I also had my husband wait for me in the parking lot
Yep. Depending on the office. All my appointments up until 28 weeks mine was allowed to go at the office I was going to when I was seeing a midwife. I had to change offices because the hospital I was set to deliver at, made changes and no longer delivers babies there so I went to the other hospital I had 2 of my precious children at. That office will only let husbands/boyfriends/significant others attend the first appointment, the week 22 appointment, and weeks 36 and 39 appointments. That office is inside the hospital so I kind of understand but am not happy about it. It’s very common during covid times for this. Mine was allowed to the 20 week ultrasound (however we already new what we were having from genetic testing) and he was allowed to go to the follow up ultrasound (couldn’t get good angles for everything for measurements the first time). However, I’m scheduled to have a 3rd one in a week or two (he’s measuring further so its to see how much he is since I’m having a scheduled csection) and I’m doubting mine will be able to attend that one.
You are not going to be alone, he would be waiting for you outside and he would be with you in your heart… alone is someone who doesn’t have a husband or a friend to be their rock at all… you gonna be ok, we are in a pandemic and this rules are protecting your child and all the other women children too, is not about you anymore.
I’m in the UK and partners are only allowed to the 20 week scan you have to attend any others alone and NO videos/pictures are allowed to be taken. I feel for you, my baby is weighing small so having to go for appointments every 2 weeks not knowing if baby is putting weight on and having to go through it all on my own. Its been 13 years since my first and this baby and my anxiety is through the roof!
I haven’t had to deal with this but I know others who have and I can’t imagine what you are going through! Maybe they will let you have him on speaker and/or FaceTime?
I’m on my third baby, but my partner’s first, and it’s really sad not being able to go to appointments together. He hasn’t been allowed at a single ultrasound (they won’t even let me video call him or record with my phone) and probably won’t be for a while. Don’t have much advice to offer but I can relate and know how stressful it is to have to go to these things alone when we need the support. Good luck at your anatomy scan, I’ll be praying for you!
Could you do Facetime with your Husband while in there…At least you may feel you have some support then…
My hubby wasn’t allowed at my 20 week ultrasound for our second either (and most likely won’t be able to be with me for the growth ultrasound I will be having in 4 weeks). We were able to FaceTime so he got to see everything as I was seeing it on the screen. I know this is so so so hard. Hang in there, momma!
I’ve had to go to all my prenatal and ultrasound apts alone.
They’ve been extra amazing though in the sense letting you take pictures and videos to show loved ones.
I had my baby in october. Through the whole pregnancy i had to be alone, every appointment, all the good news and the bad. It was hard not having anyone there and when i did recieve the bad news it sucked. But i think it made me and my baby closer in the end, Since it was just me there for all of it. You’ll make it and you might be surprised on how much you like being alone for it because in that moment its just you and the baby. I ended up loving it. I hope everything goes well for you tho and i know its gonna be hard. Just stay strong!
In the same boat, but unlike others for some reason I’m not allowed to FaceTime my husband. It just feels very disconnected. The depression is getting the best of me.
Yep. It sucks but this is what it is right now. Sorry you’re struggling with it
The first doctor I had tried this and I left and switched to an office that DOES allow spouse/partner participation at ultrasounds/key visits. He isn’t allowed at most visits, but those are important. We also were allowed to video the entire ultrasound and take pictures.
8 weeks along n same no visitors and I have ALOT of complications n have to go every week already (3 baby 3rd pregnancy) n I am not happt bout it we feel for u mum a! xo
Nobody is aloud to go with me to my doctor appointments either. It really sucks but I understand why. My understanding is he’ll be be allowed for the birth though.
Maybe you could call him or even FaceTime him while you are there? It would help with the nerves and you wouldn’t have to reiterate everything they say.
I don’t mind my husband not going with me and he would prefer not to. After we got the news of the loss of our baby, he never wanted to step foot in a doctors office for a while.
I gave birth back in June 2020, and so when the hospitals first instituted the “no visitors” policy, I was so worried about going alone. (I live in an area that is a covid hotspot). I ultimately had to go through the appointments and ultrasounds alone, but the staff were understanding about how scary that is. They did their best to allow communication and comfort me. I’m super thankful for it.
I just hope that things clear up a bit so that these restrictions don’t ruin anything else for your pregnancy.
My kids and spouse can go with me to mine. My doctor doesn’t care about this pandemic
I have had to do mine alone, partially because only one person was allowed and NO kids and we don’t have a sitter but now they are making it no visitors . It’s not been to bad though.
Most offices are only allowing patients into their facilities I had do go alone each appt this pregnancy.
Idk where you are located, but the ultrasound is the only appt they would let my husband attend or they would let me record it so he would still be able to see
I delivered in October. Husband wasn’t allowed at any appts. It really sucks, but they did let me record videos to show him
What if he has to drive you because of sudden muscle pains and fatigue body stress related . I couldn’t drive and they let mine come. He had to wait until I was done with measurements but they let him in after. We were pre mask though
My doctor allows 1 person in with me I’m sorry your going through this hold ya head up
Video call your hubby during your appt. I know it’s no t the same but it may help?
it’s easy … push for him to be allowed to go , you shouldn’t be forced to have to go alone … people need to stop allowing themselves to be controlled
Currently 18 weeks and hubby hasn’t been allowed at a single appt. I find out in 3 weeks what we are having and after discussing with hubby the gender will be revealed once I get home so we can celebrate together.
Sometimes as a momma you need to do things on your own. It will make you stronger as a person. Prayers for you, your beautiful healthy little baby and family. You’ve got this MoMmA!!!
Could you video call?
We were able to find out the gender at 16 weeks, our 3 year old son was able to be there too. Not three weeks after that the world went crazy… My husband wasn’t able to come to any of the other appointments after that point. Because it was my second pregnancy with the same doctor, and he was not worried about me, I only had three appointments after 16 weeks.
This was absolutely not the same experience that I had with my firstborn… it was hard, it was fine, and there was no changing it, so we tried hard not to complain.
It’s tough, but you’ll get through it
You could find a private ultrasound place and do it their first so he gets to see the first ultrasound. They may have more lax rules
My husband has not got to go to a single appointment. I got sent to L&D 4 days ago for an emergency ultrasound/ almost csection and that is the first and only time he has got to see our baby. I’m due to deliver in 2 weeks
My partner was allowed at appointments but not the ultrasounds. My anxiety was so bad I passed out and possible had a seizure. I was worried about our baby having the same kidney condition I suffer from. Long story short, they called my partner in from the parking lot and called me an ambulance to take me to the hospital. But my baby doesn’t have my kidneys so everything turned out ok.
I gave birth to #4 in October. No one was ever allowed to go to a single appointment with me. I was high risk and my son had a birth defect. Level 2 ultrasound… alone… ultrasound and stress test every week… alone … failing the last ultrasound and having the induction process started in the office and sent to the hospital… alone. But that’s just how it is right now
Ask of you can do a video call with him. If you don’t have an iPhone, Facebook messenger has a video call option. But this last time around last year, my hubby want allowed at any appointments. The ultrasounds did allow me to do a call letting me know when I could start it
I’ve had to do mine by myself the whole time
I went for my 13 week ultrasound today…alone, it was heartbreaking for me and dad, I missed his presence with me, I wasn’t even allowed to record the screen, there is nothing I could say that could make anything change about it, I think it’s absolute bullshit and I do not agree with it at all, when I was going for my dating scan I had a tech tell me over the phone that the “father doesn’t matter because he can’t see your confidential or personal information” it’s a hard time for the both of us, but he does what he can at home for me but that’s all he can do, we agreed that we won’t be having a second child until he can be in that room because what he missed out on today was something I’ll remember forever and he won’t, it’s horrible I know I feel for you
My Husband was deployed the second half of my pregnancy, but even if he wasn’t he wouldn’t be allowed. It was extra difficult because I had to take my first daughter with me to every appointment alone, and be scolded half the time by different people because i had her with me, and no one to watch her since we don’t live anywhere near family and no daycares are taking kids
I had my baby in July, my mother was allowed to go to my first appointment with me and that was it. It helped having someone drive me and waiting on me during the appointment, and I would text them throughout (my mother, grandmother, or boyfriend). It’s definitely scary. All I can really recommend is ask to record or maybe video chat during the appointments so even if he can’t be with you in the room you still feel supported during it
This is standard right now. I know it’s hard. My husband just spent 4 days in the hospital after emergency surgery alone. It’s hard, but just how it is. I would try a video call.
I feel you, my high risk appt they wouldn’t let my husband go wkth me, it’s our 2nd baby. But he works out fo town now and was actually home for my last appt but they still said no, and I’ve been having alot of issues with this pregnancy
Why not have your husband wait in the car for you. You could video call him.
My baby is almost 7 months and he wasn’t allowed to come to most of mine toward the end and I am high-risk and had lots of medical problems
I’m 29weeks pregnant and my partner hasn’t been able to come into one appointment with me
I just went for my 20 week-- they let dad in, I guess maybe it’s up to the Dr on if they’ll let you or not? My dr sign said 1st apt n 20 week only
I’m so sorry to hear this and understand your concern I was alone when I found out our baby didn’t have a heartbeat and it was devastating. Prayers for a continued healthy pregnancy for you!
Nope. I had a baby who stopped growing, a follow up appointment to confirm, and a D&E by myself. He wasn’t even allowed in the building.
Then we got pregnant again, and he hasn’t been allowed at any of the appointments with this one either.
It really does suck.
I have a 3 month old and had to do every appointment except my first one alone. My husband and I planned our baby way before the pandemic started. Then I had to do all my appointments alone. It really sucked all I could do was video calls and recordings.
I had my baby in August and my SO was allowed at my 20week appointment and my two high risk ultrasounds (around 32-34 weeks) maybe ask to go somewhere else?
My husband is not allowed to go to appointments except ultrasound appointments. However, he has to wait outside until I’m called back and then I can call him to come in. I usually just take a video of the monitor while I’m on it and send it to him
This is happening in many places and it sucks. But I fully understand where they are coming from. They are trying to keep safe so they can continue to take care of their patients. I had my baby in July this was also my 3rd pregnancy and the ONLY one that I was high risk with. I really needed my husband to help me and there was no way around it. It was the worst experience ever. When it got closer to time to have her they told me that when they schedule my csection there was a possibility of him not being able to be in there with me due to the amount of cases in our area. This was my first csection and my anxiety was sky high. In the end I didn’t make it to my scheduled date and I had to be rushed to the operating room with out my husband. It was scary but thankfully all went well and both the baby and I were ok. They did allow him to stay with me in the room he just couldn’t do what they normally let dads do like go in the baby room and take pictures and all that. Any who prayers for you and your husband. I know it sucks and it’s a sad situation all the way around but know that many many mommas are dealing with the same reality.
Unpopular opinion maybe - I went through both my pregnancies without my husband coming to appointments because my OB was by my office which was an hour from where we lived and he was working.
He came to maybe the first ultrasound for our first child and not any other appointments. Both my previous pregnancies were high risk and with my first I even had to do a weekend in the hospital alone because I went into preterm labor - I think there are other ways for your partner to support you even if they can’t physically be present.
My techs also never gave the bad news by the time any bad news is coming you should be able to call or FaceTime him - the phone only interferes with the machine while they’re doing the scan.
My husband and I struggled with infertility for YEARS… my son is about to be 4 months old and my husband was only able to come to my first couple appointments. I was devastated at first… but at the end of the day… after our son was born it was all okay… and I also understand why they are making those rules. It stinks. But hang in there.
I just had mine today. They won’t tell you anything is wrong as they aren’t supposed to. They’re just the technician. Your doctor will call you or see you if there are any problems. But don’t freak out about it.
We have 4 children (2 singletons and a set of twins). My husband went to one appointment total from all 4… he was always working . My twin pregnancy was super high risk and i was always super nervous. I tried my best to just breath and take one appointment at a time. Thank goodness no issues but my doctors would have pulled me into another room to discuss should any problems arise.
Can you have him included via video/messenger using a phone or tablet? I know it’s not the same.
I’m delivering my baby tomorrow, it’s the first time my husband has been allowed to be with me throughout the entire pregnancy.
You can video chat with him or have him on the phone with you. A lot of places are limiting to no visitors at appointments. I’m hard of hearing and couldn’t have my mother with me for my sons specialist appointment at children’s hospital so I had to have her on their crappy phone in the exam room and that made it even worse. I couldn’t hear her on the phone or the doctor talking from behind a mask and face shield. It’s a really crappy time to be dealing with things like that, but it’s survivable.
Mine was only allowed to go to my 19 week ultrasound. And had to wait in the car until it was time to go to the ultrasound room. I know it’s not the same but maybe FaceTime and have him in the car waiting when your done.
Facetime/video call him during the ultrasound
Yep! Between my husbands past deployments and the new rules due to the pandemic my husband wasn’t at a single appointment for our son and couldnt even be there for the birth.
I’m so sorry you all are going through this, I’m due in February and my husband has been able to come with me to my doctors appointments with no problems, of course we both have to wear our masks but they’ve never said he couldn’t come. Now we were told that he is the only person I can have with me when I give birth and that’s disappointing because I have a 13 year old as well that we wanted to share this experience with as well.
I’m 13 weeks pregnant with my first child. My fiancé is allowed at the anatomy ultrasound and the delivery. That’s it. I completely understand the frustration. This is something I want to experience with him and I’m not able to do that. It makes it more frustrating to see malls and stores in my area full, no social distancing, yet the father of my child can’t go to doctor appointments with me. It’s disheartening. We’ll make it though - that’s all I keep trying to tell myself.
I had a baby is late Sep and I did every appt alone. Even the ones at my high risk Dr. It was our last baby, I wanted to do my best to enjoy every part of it and it sucked.
I had my baby boy in June, so a big part of pregnancy was during the start of this. I’m more angry than anything at how they have treated the expecting moms. I couldnt take my hubby to any of my appointments however i was sent to another doctor where they did the ultrasounds and he was allowed to go but since it was every month i at one point decided to take my daughter instead. I drove an hr after working the night before only to be turned away at the door by the check in people. Because my daughter wasn’t 18. I was furious!!! I made a complaint, the doc herself called me said i should not have been turned away like that. My mom was with me in my other deliveries and she’s my advocate because she’s a nurse. She couldn’t be with me in June resulting in me having to lay in the hospital bed the entire day in labor and delivering without pain meds. I was told tho you were to have one person with you. Honestly i would take him with him. Stand up to them and advocate for yourself. He is in on this too and he deserves to be there, pandemic or not. That’s one thing i would do differently if i could go back.
I have a circumvallate placenta (super rare placenta disorder, affects 1-2% of pregnancies, 100% of mine) and we have to go 2 hours away to a huge hospital on the 19th and my fiance isn’t aloud to go in with me. I’m so nervous, he is aloud at regular appointments at our small hospital but not this one. He went to all of the appointments with our first (same huge hospital in the city) so this is new for me…doing it alone.
Unfortunately that’s how it is during a pandemic and especially when the numbers are picking up again when it comes to cases of covid-19. Also depending on when you deliver and how the pandemic is going you may only be allowed to have one person in the hospital with you and that person isn’t allowed to switch for someone else or leave the hospital.
It’s like that everywhere due to COVID. I had my youngest in June and from April until I gave birth dad could never be at appointments. They can be at birth, and at the hospital. But they can’t leave at all once there or they can’t come back. COVID19 sucks😞
If it’s the anatomy scan you won’t find out if there’s anything wrong at the appointment…at least with mine the ultrasound technician can’t tell you anything other than the gender if you want to know…if there’s any issues then someone calls you later letting you know, that’s what happened with my son and they set up the appointment with the necessary doctor/specialist
They won’t even let us video chat or record our delivery for the kids, and his oldest son has been there for ALL his siblings.
I had to find out my baby’s heart stopped alone because my husband wasn’t allowed to go with me… It was a nightmare
But when we found that out she offered to let him come inside and sit with me. He had stayed home so that wasn’t an option. I would have him come with you and just sit in the car.
Have him drive you there and take you home, that way if there are issues you can call him whilst he is in the parking lot
Same hubby not aloud in until the scan then he has till leave am 22 weeks
First, dont overthink it. It only gets you more stressed and stresses the baby. As a momma who lost 3, I was alone with my 5th and final pregnancy and unfortunately it was not a good visit. But my family was there for me I called my husband and things went forward from there.
An idea for you, since, we are in a pandemic and dad isn’t allowed to appointments. This is a BIG moment for you both. Ultrasound day!!! Why don’t you FaceTime him? Or take your laptop and do a zoom meet with him, or even Facebook video chat, any of those will work.
I wish you the best of luck. #NoStress
My baby was born in September, and by the time my 20 week appt rolled around, they had just cracked down on visitors. It was really hard for sure! Thankfully my ultrasound tech was really nice, and she let him stay on FaceTime during the ultrasound. He was also waiting in the car, so at least if there would have been bad news, he would have been close by and I wouldn’t have had to drive anywhere afterwards. You’re probably fine, but it’s definitely frustrating!
My daughter is preg now has to go to apts alone but the dr is allowing me to go for gender ultrasound as long as I wear a mask and he is allowing the baby’s dad and me in the delivery room but no one else allowed at hospital at all
I just had our daughter last month. My husband was only able to go to the confirmation ultrasound and when I gave birth. I was by myself at all other appointments including ultrasounds.
When i was pregnant with my first (6 years ago) , we lived in different states. I chose to stay for insurance reasons and i did all my appts solo except the gender one (my mom and gma came) my second we had all the ultrasound appts done right before they limited appts to one person (in my case is was getting checked weekly until the due date which no one but me needs to be in) on that note, i cant imagine how stressful and hard it is to be forced to do this solo. " I would have liked them to stop me from coming " my husband says if they did this earlier. It sucks. I mean, if both people are masked and showing no symptoms , they should let the partner in imo