What to do when my two-year-old isn’t affectionate with his grandparents? He gets so mad when they come near, and I feel horrible because he pushes them away.
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Sometimes. But I would never force it
It’s important to respect his boundaries and not force him to hug or show affection. He may come around he may not. He may just not be a touchy person and there’s nothing wrong with that. I was never a touchy child and people saying “go give grandma a hug” or “go hug uncle so and so” was always super uncomfortable for me.
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I’m pretty sure all kids go thru a playing shy type of stage with relatives
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Pay attention to his behavior. Something’s not right. I hope you don’t leave him alone with them.
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I don’t have an answer for this. My daughter is very picky about who she goes to. She’s not one to go to my mom at all… my mom lives with us, too.
Do you hug them in front of him? My son was like that with my grandma because we didn’t really hug in front of him when we started hugging he wanted to as well
I’ve always been of the thought that children should be able to chose who they hug/kiss or don’t. I also make them ask for permission before hugging/getting on laps/kisses/etc. I feel it teaches them early that they are in charge of the decisions for their own bodies and also instills the need for consent. Sometimes my girls just wanted to “high Five” goodbye as we were leaving places. And that’s ok.
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My lo is almost 2 and sometimes he is and sometimes he’s not it really depends on his mood but we respect boundaries, if he doesn’t want to give hugs or love on anyone he’s not made to
Can’t force a kid to be affectionate towards anyone. Either they do it in their own way in their own time or the people who have an issue need to just get over it.
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Hope he doesn’t complain when they don’t show affection.
Some kids are just not huggers. Had a friend whose daughter just didn’t like being touched. Her mother was always trying force her to hug me. Told her never unless she wanted to and I told her mother that too. Took her a few years but she accepted her daughter might like you fine, she just didn’t want to be touched. Made the time she hugged me on her own more special because she meant it. You might have your son tested for autism. Some autistic children do not like being touched either. My grandson is autistic and doesn’t like people hugging him either. Respect their wishes.
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They are his boundaries and they need to be respected. I would be seeing a major red flag if my child wasn’t comfortable around someone.
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Let him have his feelings. Respect it and tell them if he wishes not to kiss, hug, or be held then they need to leave him alone.
My son is not affectionate on a regular basis, and will only do it for specific people.
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Just respect your kids boundaries 
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I allow my kids to choose who they hug and kiss, but I do ensure they acknowledge people (say hello, goodnight, etc).
It’s his body. He should have the right to say who can and cannot touch him. Grandma and grandpa should want him to have that right
Me: Teaching my kids to respect boundaries, bodily autonomy, and consent starting at age 2.
Also me: I gave up my body for you, now you get back here and give me a kiss goodnight before I hold you down and take one, you little shit!
Kids are like that sometimes. Mine will turn away from a visitor when they first meet and hide, then 10 mins later he’s jumping up and down in their lap and trying to steal their drink. Except when they leave he’ll refuse so much as a high five, yet he will blow kisses to anyone on zoom, and he calls Blippi “Daddy”.
Kids are an enigma. They make their own rules. 
Many kids have issues with forced affection. I always ask littles if they will give me a hug but will never force them. I will ask for a high-five or a fist bump if they don’t want to hug…and again, it is at their comfort level, not mine, that it happens.
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Kids can sense bad vibes,let him be
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Do you know why??
Do they visit often? Are they a bit stricter than you?
There’s generally a reason.
However, respect his boundaries. Don’t force him to be affectionate, with anyone.
Tell the grandparents to just remain calm & loving bc if they get upset, he can feel that & it’ll push him farther away. Maybe teach him to blow kisses & send hugs instead? Something he’s comfortable with.
Does he video chat with them or prep for their visit by drawing a “picture”? Do you talk about them at all? If you do & it’s negative, he can pick up on that too.
Also, do you hug them? If he sees you, he may change his mind.
Some kids are like that. Maybe they’re too affectionate. Some kids just don’t like it. Or only with certain people.
Not really and I wasn’t affectionate with mine. I don’t see it as a problem.
I get this, My 2 year old daughter is very mean to her great great grandma for some reason. She can’t even look at her or she screams at her like a velociraptor, but she’s very snuggly with my grandparents. We all live together. It’a like she can’t stand her 
it’s really not funny but it is. I think it’s because my great grandma is always trying to shove food down her throat (not literally) and she can’t hear so we’re always yelling when we talk to her
My daughter always affectionate with my parents, my son never was. I let them do what is comfortable for them bc their bodies belong to themselves, not to anyone else
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My youngest did that he always thought he was so big. But he loves his grandma and papa. However papa passed when he was 3 so he really doesn’t member him but my other 2 do. Just let him do him momma he will
Give him time . Make them work on that relationship you can’t do it… If they come around enough and put in some effort he will know and he will show affection however he chooses too.
Kids are little humans with their own personalities and ideologies. I wouldn’t want to be forced into affection when I don’t want it. Especially if the grandparents aren’t around all the time. I feel like I’d be stand-off-ish. I don’t force affection. I ask if they want to give whoever a hug and if not then respect their boundaries. 
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You tell them to respect him and his wishes. He might be young, but he knows what he likes, doesn’t like, is and isn’t comfortable with, ect.
You shouldn’t force him to do something he isn’t okay or comfortable with, as long as it’s not something important to his health (of course, he should go to the doctor, brush his teeth, ect).
As others have said, he may come around, he may not. Only time will tell and if he doesn’t? That’s perfectly fine and valid.
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Nobody is entitled to someone else’s body. Your kid is allowed space to exist without people being in that space.
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With my side yes. His dads side no. I feel a little bad, his grandpa really wants to bond with him 
Your kid doesnt owe affection to anyone. Its important for kids to set their own boundaries.
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Don’t force your children to be affectionate with anyone. They are allowed to have boundaries and they should with anyone. Doesn’t matter family or not. Some children and people are not super affectionate and that’s ok. They can still bond in other ways. Let them show their love in their own way.
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Give him time and don’t force him to tolerate or express affection. He’s two, he will probably get there eventually. Every person has the right to show affection only when they are comfortable with it, and that includes children. Don’t teach him that his own comfort is secondary when it comes to affection.
Their bodies, their rules.
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That’s how kids are 
Don’t force any kind of affection. My daughter 9 times out of 10 will not hug or kiss anyone except us (and then maybe not even). Some kids, like adults, aren’t touchy people.
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I would never force it.
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How much do the grandparents play with him? Do they just want affection when they come in the door or before they leave? Also, at that age my girls didn’t want to really be hugged. My 5 year old still give “hugs” by backing into people. See if he will give a high five or shake hands.
Never force your child to be affectionate to anyone.
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Maybe show him how to blow them kisses? That way they will still feel loved but also so it doesn’t put him in a spot he’s not comfortable with.
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Should never be forced upon them it’s his body and if he don’t want to be affectionate with someone he shouldn’t have to.
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Do you like being forcibly touched? Probably not. We need to stop this idea that kids HAVE to hug or kiss their relatives. Not every person is touchy feely. Kids have personalities and feelings too.
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I was so happy to see people in the comments talking about respecting his boundaries.
Nothing. Kids know. Believe them.
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Let your kid decide if he wants to be snuggled maybe he needs more time to get used to being around them or maybe that’s how he is and that’s ok if he’s not overly affectionate. Some people just don’t like it.
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They need to just play with him and enjoy watching him play , watch a kid show with him and laugh with him . Let him warm up to them on his own .
Yes with my mom. They don’t see my dad a lot. Their grandpa on their dad’s side (my husband’s dad) passed away a few years ago and my husband’s mom (thats a whole different story) they never see. My oldest (almost 14) has not seen her since he was 6, my middle child (almost 8) has not seen her since she was 8 months old and my youngest has never met her.
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Don’t force your kid to love or be with anyone. He don’t feel comfortable for some reason with them. Kids and dogs know. Not saying they are bad, but your son don’t feel something isn’t right. Don’t break your son and make him be with them. How often do they come around? Are they always trying to hold him? Do they talk loud? Does he interact with them other then being affectionate?
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My two kids did this with my grandma. And she has always been the most kind to them as well as everyone else. They both didn’t like to hug or kiss her bye or anything from ages 1-3. We didn’t force it. She would just tell them she loves them anyways. Now they are 5 and 9 and she’s their favorite. They were just mainly with me when that little so they were attached to me. Now they are getting older they realize they have some independence and that showing love to who they want to is their choice and right. May sound silly but they have strong feelings even when small but validate their feelings Always even if they can’t fully express it.
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Imagine being forced to kiss and cuddle people you are not comfortable doing so with … I the adult world thats called sexual assault
U can encourage a child to show affection in other ways , how about we make a “love you card for grandma”
“Give grandad a big high 5”
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My son is 4 and has explicitly said he will only accept kisses on the top of his head. If he doesn’t want to give anyone a cuddle, I suggest a high five. I will never ever force him to be affectionate to anyone, even myself. I always ask if I can have a hug or kiss. My sons comfort is more important than anything and if people don’t understand, they’re not worth it xxx
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My son always gives his grandad a hug, nanny is hit and miss times he will hug her and hug her the whole visit other times he won’t go near her, he’s 5 and it’s up to him who he hugs. But he’s very affectionate when he wants to be he hugs all his friends when he’s leaving school or the park
My son is 2 and very affectionate with some people and not with others. You can’t force it. It’s not my kids job to keep adults happy 
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DO NOT FORCE CHILDREN to be affectionate with anyone. Parents grandparents aunts uncles etc. This is where our boundaries are formed and validated as young people. Them not being respected (even by parents) can be fundamentally damaging later on in life.
Love comes naturally, accept boundaries. High 5s are great for children that aren’t comfortable with physical contact with others. Don’t see it as upsetting or embarrassing. See it as your child/children is being assertive with their own needs/wants and support and encourage this as his/her parent. xx
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If they just say hello then leave it to him let him co.e to them x
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Nope. Nope. Nope. Don’t feel bad…he’s setting his boundaries and it should be respected
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If he doesn’t want to be then don’t force it - teach him and everyone around him that consent is important and So is how he feels
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Let the kids slowly warm to them,
grandparents can open there arms up and if kids refuse let it be. My 10 year doesn’t really go for cuddles generally but when they happen unexpectedly there the best 
x
Maybe grandparents need to spent more one on one time building a bond, my daughter is like this with all family except my mom because she’s the o lot one who spent real time with her, she’s 6 now and it’s still the same way
Maybe explain to them that if they want that connection maybe they ha e to put a little more effort In cause you can’t expect a kid to go to people until they’re comfortable
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N4ver push your child to be in a situation they feel uncomfortable in, with any family
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My oldest simply just doesnt like people. He doesnt like being around anyone and does not show any affection.
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My four and a half year old daughter is very affectionate towards her Pop Pop (my dad,) but not so much toward her grandparents on her dad’s side. Granted, my dad stepped up in place of her father when he walked, so she sees him a lot more than his parents. His parents only come around on major holidays so it’s understandable why she isn’t as affectionate toward them and I don’t force it.
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My kids were with their grandparents before they both passed away (grandparents). Plus we all lived together.
How often does the child see his grandparents? I was very close and affectionate with my maternal grandmother whom I saw every day but not as close with grandma who lived across country and visited once a year. She would try to be affectionate with me but I always felt a little awkward because I just wasn’t used to her.
I’m 42 years old and have Never been a Hugger to anyone. I’m not an affectionate person at all. I love my family and my Youngest Child is Very Affectionate and I struggle with giving back. Don’t force it. It places them in Uncomfortable Situations that nobody wants to be placed in.
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Kids set their own boundaries with people too. I got 4 boys and all are different my oldest grandmas baby my 12 year old is mamas baby my 10 year old just mommy and daddy (has anxiety) and my youngest 7 is a daddy’s boy and nobody else
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Respect your child’s boundaries. 
! I was not an affectionate child. My parents were told. Don’t force your child to hug and kiss friends or family. Eventually your child will go to them with hugs on their own terms.
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Mostly yes, but at times they just wont hug them. They are 1 and 4 so I remind them of all the things their grandparents do for them.
I know grandparents love hugs, but I also know that they know it’s really not a personal thing (typically).
Question- have you, without judgement, asked him why he doesn’t want to be affectionate with his grandparents?? I am a very autonomous person. Everyone has the right to control their own body. Too often, we try to demand things from children that we would never dream of demanding from adults. Why should he pretend for a relationship that is not there? If they want to build a relationship with him, it is on them, as the adults, to find out his interests and grow and nurture it, as we do any other relationship. Expecting hugs or kisses or sitting on their laps or playing with them without his desire to is simply abuse! It is spiritually diminishing, and extremely devaluing of your son. Children have a surprisingly attuned sense of whom to trust, and how to be. Also, as I am an autistic individual, I also want to bring up that it could simply be a sensory issue. He might not like how they touch him. Maybe he’s really sensitive to that. It isn’t their right to get to have his affection. It is his right to be valued enough for them to earn it.
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Teach him to fist bump or to shake hands never force them to have to show affection with their bodies. Teach to use their word when they have word. No child should be forced to show affection if they do not want to.
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Don’t force it kids are affectionate to who they want to be. Don’t make the child forced to feel as if they have to adults will understand. And of they don’t too bad. Think of the sick ppl in this world u don’t want your kid to think it’s obligated its not and your child has a right to say no. God forbid your baby grows up thinking they have to they will never know if someone is doing the wrong thing especially at that tender age.
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My daughter was just like that and it turns out she is autistic… something to think about.
Some people, including kids, are just like that. Just let it be. No reason to force it or anything. I am not an affectionate person myself nor do I like being around people for long periods of time. Nothing wrong with it. Only thing wrong is society thinking we have to be affectionate or want to be around others. Then society thinks, just like in these comments, that there is an underlying issue when there isn’t.
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I wouldn’t worry about it to much our granddaughter was the same way at that age and now she always wants to come home with us and gets upset when it’s time to go back to mommy and daddy
Don’t force any interaction. There are times I don’t want to be around certain people for whatever reason- it’s the same with kids.
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My kids 7 and 3 both are so affectionate with their grandparents. My dad call them every single day.he don’t miss a day even.and my kids says daddy ( my dad) is their bestest friend.same with my mother and the mother of my husband. All of them are so loving.i really love this bound
Your feelings are valid at a young age. I was always told to hug relative. Unfortunately I am not always a touch person with some people and it’s not negative just need space at times. Maybe sensory overload for him, or whatever it is I think it’s totally okay to teach boundaries at a young age. Family or not it’s okay to not want to hug or be hugged. You can show you care about someone in another way
I tell my daughter that if she doesn’t want to hug or kiss people she doesn’t have to, but she needs to be polite and at least shake hands or high five. She can’t just not acknowledge people, but she doesn’t have to make herself uncomfortable for the sake of other peoples ego
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I wouldn’t force it. My daughter loves her grandma but not her grandpa and cry every time he comes arounds. Also she sees her grandma every day.
I feel like that’s common for 2 year olds. Both of my kids were like that with my parents but now they’re 4 and 7 and besties. They prefer grandma and grandpa over me lol
I wouldn’t force it n shouldn’t make the child feel bad for it maybe offer alternatives like can they get a high five? respect their body and their choice of when they want to show affection
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Are their grandparents present? My daughter does not really hug or kiss her grandpa on her dads side because he’s not really around but she’ll talk to both her grandmas a lot more over FaceTime because she sees them more often (even though it’s virtual). Kids have their own personalities! My two year old does not like to be held or kissed by relatives she doesn’t see, which I get because I wouldn’t like that either
Just because it’s family doesn’t mean there needs to be affection or for the affection to be forced or pushed onto them. Kids are allowed to have feelings and boundaries. just like us. I wouldn’t feel bad one bit.
Leave him be. My 19 yr old has never been affectionate and i never pushed it
Maybe there’s a reason he is uncomfortable? Kids can sense bad vibes basically. Or maybe he just isn’t used to them? Let him set his own boundaries and make sure he knows that’s okay and let him adjust his boundaries as he sees fit
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If he is uncomfortable there could be a reason. Not always, but I would watch closely.
Kids read energy really well. I wouldn’t push them.
Don’t make a big deal out of it , he will outgrow it.
Hmm that’s tough because they’re toddlers they need to play. Maybe have the grandparents learn a song or something. They need other ways to connect with your child. My niece is kinda similar. I’d tell them to talk to the child have a narrative. Kids are sponges even if you don’t think they’re fully paying attention. They process things a lot differently. Have you ever have a kid that says “huh” a lot after you talk? It’s because they have to process what you said and repeating it helps them. Have patience with them and do what they do and you’ll develop a bond
Do they spend enough time. Maybe the child is finding it hard to get comfortable with them because they’re not present regularly…separation anxiety?
My son is 2.5. I don’t force it and I don’t expect him to show affection when he doesn’t want to. If he doesn’t want a hug or kiss, we ask for a high five instead. If he still declines we don’t force the issue. I’m teaching him he’s in control of when people can and can’t touch him
Listen to your kid! Just trust that they know what’s best for themselves and try to figure out why he’s like that with them.
Have them come over most often if possible and perhaps once hes used to seeing their faces, try leaving the room for short periods until he’s used to them without overstepping and respecting his own boundaries. Then hopefully it will get easier. It’s defo nothing personal, sometimes kids can do this, the kids I used to look after at nursery, some or them would scream when their parents would collect them cause they saw me more often. It got easier as they got older. X
Red flags perhaps less alone time until someone can explore them with him . Could be nothing but should be taken seriously until the reasons are checked into by professional who can make sure to handle it without leading questions and age appropriate
Yes, because they developed a close relationship with our kids.
You respect your child and leave him alone tf kinda question is this?
hey there❤️
feel free to post ur Requirment or Query in our group too 
I totally agree Kendra. It gives the wrong message to children as well.
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It’s important to respect his boundaries and not force him to hug or show affection. He may come around he may not. He may just not be a touchy person and there’s nothing wrong with that. I was never a touchy child and people saying “go give grandma a hug” or “go hug uncle so and so” was always super uncomfortable for me.
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